Lion's Den
by tryingtowritesomething
Summary: After a failed attempt at living away from the MC world, Roxanna Morrow realises that not much can keep you away from Charming. being back will be tough, battling between her parents' want for her to become an Old Lady, close to club, and her drive to do something for herself won't be easy. [Juice/OC] [eventual Happy/OC] Disclaimer: I don't own photo or Sutter's work
1. Chapter 1

"You've got to be fucking kidding me!" Roxy threw the empty cigarette packet on the ground and checked her phone again.

Her plane had landed almost an hour ago and her parents apparently had better things to do than pick their only daughter up from the airport and had sent some patch to pick her up. A patched member who was taking their sweet ass time.

After what seemed like an eternity, without the ability to even smoke to calm her nerves, Roxy saw the familiar tow truck pull up to the pick up area.

"About time." She made her way over to the truck and waited for the driver to hop down. "Juice right?"

The guy rounded the front of the cab, eyeing her up and down as he did so. "Roxy?"

"That'd be me." She rolled her eyes at him as he picked her cases up and secured them in the back of the tow truck.

"Ready to go then?" Juice gave her a smile and motioned to the cab.

"Nah I'd rather hang here for another hour." She didn't mean to be snarky but the lack of nicotine combined with the hour long wait and nerves of being home kind of took their toll.

His smile faltered and he moved back to the driver's door.

Roxy climbed into the cab, kicking herself for being so mean. She buckled in and turned to face him as he started the engine.

"Sorry about that. It's been a long day and I haven't had a smoke for like... Too many hours." She tried to smile at him to lighten the mood.

It seemed to work, he glanced over her again as he pulled the truck out of the pick up zone. It didn't take Juice long to notice her figure, clearly on display cleavage, and the dimples that appeared on her cheeks with the smile.

"It's all good. I have some in my kutte pocket if you want one."

At her nod he tried fumbling for the inside zip whilst manoeuvring the big truck onto the highway. It was proving to be a challenge so Roxy took pity on him and leant across the cab to reach in for herself, fingers brushing against his stomach as she retrieved the crumpled packet from his zippered pocket.

Juice noticed her hands on him as he drove and couldn't help but smirk as she moved back over to her side, having copped an eyeful down her top as she leant over to him.

"Thanks." She lit one up, offered him one and they smoked in silence for a while.

Roxy checked her vibrating phone, it was her mum and she figured she better answer it.

"Hey baby. Juice find you ok?" Her mums voice was muffled by the sounds of what Roxy assumed was the clubhouse in the background.

"Yeah he made it eventually." Roxy offered him a small smile to show there were no hard feelings before propping her feet on the dash and chucking her finished cigarette out the window.

"Sorry to send the idiot. We couldn't make it out there to grab you. Club shit, y'know?"

Roxy knew alright. The club came first and all that. "Don't worry Ma it's all good. We are on the way now. Where am I meeting you?"

"Clubhouse. Guys wanna see you and your dad'll be here sorting shit till late. Figured we can get you settled back in to the house later."

Hanging round the clubhouse was the last thing she wanted after spending most of her day either on a plane or in an airport, but given she was the President's daughter she didn't really get much choice.

"Sure thing Ma. I'll see you soon then."

"Yeah see you then baby." Her mum disconnected and Roxy went back to staring out the windows.

Juice couldn't take the silence much longer so decided to attempt conversation with the unknown entity that was Roxanna Morrow. Being a member for the past few years Juice had heard of the President's daughter and tales of her childhood here, but she'd been away in New York studying since just before he came and never seemed to visit. Apparently there was some boyfriend over east, Gemma would go over from time to time to see her. But never Clay.

"So guess you're happy to finally be home then?"

His attempt at casual conversation was amusing to Roxy, he seemed super uncomfortable around her and she couldn't deicide whether it was due to her connection to the club or the fact he was just unimpressed with being forced to spend time with her on what she assumed was a club order.

"Kinda. Will be good to see everyone again. I sorta lapsed on the whole visiting thing while I was away. But just wanted to do something for myself for a bit." She shrugged.

"Yeah I get that. Well, just know everyone's excited to see you back. I'm pretty sure Gemma is throwing a massive party for you tonight." He paused, biting his full lower lip. "Although I'm also pretty sure I wasn't supposed to tell you that."

Roxy let out a breezy laugh. "Don't worry I won't let on. I'm glad you told me though. I'd rather be prepared for the lions den I'm walking into."

"Can't be that bad. From what I've heard the guys are all crazy about you."

"I can only imagine." She turned back to the window again and Juice was happy to leave her with her thoughts.

Truth be told Roxy was excited to be home. She hadn't been back since leaving for NYU and had been starting to miss her home town and some of the people in it. Roxy's mum had been devastated when her youngest decided to up and leave for college. It had kind of gone against her and her dad's wishes for Roxy to stay local and settle down. However she hadn't wanted to just finish high school and become another Old Lady of the club.

It was for that reason that her father hadn't spoken more than a few words to her in the 4 and a half years she'd been gone.

Clay had always been forward on his views for Roxy's future. He'd even gone so far as trying to orchestrate her dates with other members of the MC. Nothing ever worked out though. Roxy just wasn't interested, plus most of the MC members had quite a few years on her and as a 19 year old fresh out of school none of her father's potential suitors particularly appealed to her.

Juice attempted breaking the silence again. "So Gemma mentioned you were engaged, that's pretty exciting. He coming out to visit too?"

Roxy was surprised by the question. She hadn't expected her mum or dad to have told anyone else. They were rather unimpressed with the news. Clay had never met her ex but Gemma had on one of her few visits to New York and made her displeasure with him quite clear. Roxy was now understanding why.

Roxy cleared her throat before answering. "Nah, I um, called it off."

Juice tried sounding disappointed, "that's a shame."

Roxy shrugged again taking another smoke from Juice's packet. "Not really. Means I get to come back here." She fumbled the cigarette between her fingers. "Hope you don't mind. I'll buy you a replacement pack when we get home."

Juice chuckled. "All good. If you want I got something stronger in there."

"I noticed. Wanna share?"

"Sure." He eyed her closely as she got out the joint, examining it before lighting up and taking a couple of tokes.

"Oh man that's good. It's been a while." Roxy could feel the familiar calming sensation wash over her before handing the joint over to Juice.

The journey back to Charming from the Sacramento airport was only about an hour, and Juice was enjoying her company as they passed the joint backwards and forwards.

"So you're from New York yeah?"

"Yeah Queens. But I've been travelling then here for the last 5 or 6 years."

"Sounds exciting." She took the last hit of the joint before throwing it out the window.

"Not really." He shrugged.

Roxy took a moment to study his features. Juice was younger than most of the other members. She had been used to her brother and Opie being the babies of SAMCRO but by the looks of it Juice was younger still. Being in such close quarters with him, and the marijuana having her guard down slightly, Roxy couldn't help but notice his toned arms, perfectly tanned skin and interesting choice of hair cut.

"So what made you settle in Charming then?" She studied him and waited for his response.

"Dunno, was travelling through and just kinda bumped into your bro. Things just seemed to fall into place from there." He looked over at her. "It's an enjoyable town." He said with a smirk.

Roxy rolled her eyes again at his grin. "Ha well I suppose that's right."

There were another few moments silence before he opened his mouth again. "So how come you called off the engagement?" He paused. "If you don't mind me asking?"

Roxy let out a long sigh. "Just wasn't what I thought it would be I guess."

Juice decided he best leave it at that. He could feel the tension rolling off her and didn't want to piss her off, he was still unsure of her personality but if she was anything like her mum he assumed you didn't want to get her in a bad mood.

They rode the last few minutes in silence before pulling up into the lot.

"Well here you are." He offered her another wide smile, which she couldn't help return, before hopping down out of the cab to grab her cases.

"Thanks for the lift. I appreciate it, even if it was an order."

He smirked at her last comment. Yes he had originally been pissed off he'd been sent for a two hour round trip to pick her up, but he hadn't realised at the time just how eye catching Roxy would be. He certainly wasn't complaining now having spent the last hour with her, despite the sometimes awkward conversation.

"Any time." He winked and dragged her suitcases towards the clubhouse for her.

Roxy hitched her purse, laptop bag, and carry on and followed suit.

As she walked she noticed not much had changed around here. TM was closed for the day but there were still a bunch of cars parked up, probably belonging to croweaters or hang arounds, along with the long row of Harley's meaning most of the club, if not all, were here awaiting her return.

She reached the doors to the clubhouse just a few moments after Juice and braced herself for the whirlwind to come.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: thanks for the reviews already! This has kinda been playing out in my head for a while so hope you enjoy!**

"Roxanna Lee Morrow!" Was the cry she heard the minute she walked through the clubhouse doors. It was Tig, the first to greet her with a massive hug.

"Hey Tig! Good to see ya!" She returned his hug with equal fervour. Tig was someone she had missed probably the most while she was gone. Although he was her dads sergeant at arms for club matters he took it on in the family sense as well. It was often Tig who was the one imparting fatherly advice, albeit somewhat unconventionally.

"I've missed you kid."

"Yeah well keep it movin' old man I wanna see my sister."

Jax was just as thrilled his sister was home. He'd been supportive of her move given the odds she'd been at with Clay he knew it was what had been best for her. What he didn't like was the asshole of a boyfriend who had kept her away from them all this time. Yeah he got his frequent phone catch ups with his sister but towards the end there they were few and far between.

Roxy made her way round the group of guys at the bar, hugging and exchanging pleasantries, before her mum finally appeared from the back.

"Baby! So good you're finally home." She embraced her daughter fiercely before whispering "where you belong."

Roxy rolled her eyes to herself. Something she seemed to be doing a lot of today. But smiled none the less.

"Your dads just on the phone. He shouldn't be too long."

"That's ok. Mind if I have a shower? If we're hanging out here a while I don't wanna smell like airplane for the rest of the night."

"Sure baby." She stroked her daughter's hair before turning to the motley group of guys at the bar. "Which one of you pigs has the cleanest dorm? My girl needs a shower to get ready for this party tonight!"

The guys looked awkwardly amongst themselves before looking at Juice.

Chibs spoke up on their behalf. "Juicy boy here has the cleanest room for sure. Kinda weird actually."

Juice looked up, embarrassed, "just coz I don't live like an animal." He looked round the guys then to Gemma. Realising there was no way out of this he offered to show Roxy back to his dorm.

She turned to him when they entered the hall. "Sorry I don't mean to invade your personal space. I can just shower in Jax's if that helps?"

Juice stopped at one of the doors near the end. He looked uncomfortable as he unlocked the door. "Nah it's all good. I wouldn't do that to you. I've had to clean in there when I was prospect. Not pretty."

"Oh I know all about that."

She stepped in the room at his gesture and looked around without being nosey.

"They weren't kidding when they said you were tidy." She looked to him with a smirk.

Juice surveyed his dorm sheepishly. "I just like things to be tidy. Less chaotic." He shrugged, shirking her eye contact. "You got a towel n shit?"

Roxy smothered a laugh and patted the smaller of the suitcases she'd flown with. "Yeah I'm all set."

"Cool. Let me just -" he had a quick peek in the bathroom and made sure everything was neat. "Ok you're all good. See ya out there."

"Thanks"

He turned and left feeling somewhat uneasy having Roxy in his room. Sure he brought sweet butts and crow eaters back there all the time and didn't give a rats what they thought. But Roxy was a bit different. He also didn't like the thought of someone in his space touching things. Juice was sure Roxy would be respectful, but she was Gemma's daughter so who knows what kind of mess she could get up to. He took a deep breath and walked back down the hallway to the bar.

Roxy didn't take long in the shower, she was just relieved to wash some of the plane grub off her. After towel drying her hair she let it fall into its natural wavy bounce and scrunched some product in it. It'd have to do, there was no way she was spending an hour in here blow drying it. It was too long and thick for that to be a quick job.

Same went for make up, just a light coat of powder and eye liner with mascara would do for tonight. She knew it was a party for her but she just wasn't feeling it, not like she was here to impress anyways.

She fished out her ripped, dark black skinny jeans and a loose, midnight blue, spaghetti strap tank top. It was slightly low at the front and hung loosely over her body. Surveying herself in the mirror she figured this was as good as it would get. Roxy was by no means unattractive, and deep down she knew that, but her confidence had taken a bit of a battering from her years with Matt, and that was something that would take a while to re-establish. Roxy had inherited most of her looks from her mother, she was around 5'5" and had a slim body with an ample chest. Something she had tried for years to hide. It made her uncomfortable to have projected all the time. Unfortunately today it was so hot she'd just gone with a tank top and noticed Juice's glances from time to time. It wasn't pervy though so it didn't freak her out too much. If her mum had her way Roxy would be parading around like a half dressed sweet butt or copying her mums sexy biker chic look. But Roxy couldn't bring herself to flaunt quite that much any more.

She looked around the room from her spot on the bed while she put her black pumps on. Roxy honestly didn't want to pry but Juice was certainly an intriguing guy. He had one of the smaller dorms at the clubhouse and had pushed the double bed against the wall to make room for a large tv, gaming console and a computer with numerous screens. She looked at the vast amount of DVDs and games that were ordered neatly in the shelving surrounding the tv. She got up for a closer look, not daring to touch anything, she knew he'd certainly notice if something was out of order. All her life Roxy hadn't really known any guys who fit the stereotypical boy gamer profile and it amused her the first one she'd meet was actually a member of the MC. Jax and Opie were never gamers growing up in the MC, she was never that close to any of the guys in school and then Matt was far too proper to waste his time with such a trivial hobby. She shook her head, still stuck with his judgemental tone.

Surveying the rest of the room as she packed up her small mess she noticed there weren't really any personal items. No photos of family or random trinkets just a couple of posters of half naked chicks and bikes on the wall next to the bed. Even the top of his dresser was completely clear aside from a small box with a ring and some coins in it.

Finished with her light snooping Roxy surmised he definitely had some OCD like behaviours. That and he had said before he liked things clean as it was less "chaotic", which was definitely a strong pointer. Again shaking her head, she didn't want to psycho analyse everyone now just because she was a counsellor. But Juice's room had been a big eye opener to his personality.

She piled her suitcase and purse neatly in the corner near the door and headed back out to the bar.

Juice looked up glad to finally see Roxy emerge from the dorms, he had been rather anxious knowing she was in his room and wondering what she had been doing in there. She'd only been gone just over half an hour but still that was plenty of time to mess around. Taking a swig from his beer he eyed her up and down as she made her way over to him, stopping for the odd greeting along the way now a few more people had turned up.

"Hope you don't mind I left my cases in there by the door?" She hopped on the stool next to him and the new prospect tried handing her a beer which she declined. "Vodka and Coke?" He nodded and organised her drink. Turning back to Juice "I'll come grab it later and get it out your way."

"That's alright." He awkwardly played with his beer label, not really knowing what to say now. He wasn't exactly used to casual conversation with girls any more. Women kind of served a different purpose in the MC world and he was also on edge now she seemed to have had a peek into his privacy. "So uh, been a while since you'll have been at a clubhouse party then?"

"Oh yeah." She leaned back on the stool with her elbows against the bar and looked around the room which had been slowly filling up. There were plenty of women around, dressed in almost nothing, music pumping and a few guys round the pool table. Juice took the opportunity to look her up and down again. The ripped jeans were hugging her legs in just the right way and even though her top was loose fitting when she leaned back against the bar it fell flush against her flat stomach and pronounced her chest.

As if sensing his gaze Roxy sat up again and turned back hunching over the bar. Juice felt kind of embarrassed and mirrored her movement, hoping she didn't think he was a creeper. He did have some rather dirty thoughts running through his mind right now but she didn't need to know that.

"The parties I went to in New York were kinda dull compared to this." She gestured with her hand around the room before taking another drink.

"You were clearly going to the wrong parts of New York then." He winked and gave her another of what she was assuming was his trademark grin.

She chuckled "I'm sure you managed to find plenty of fun while you were there."

He shrugged, mumbled, "Too much." And looked away.

Roxy saw Clay finally emerge from the Chapel and decided she should probably go and see her dad. Jumping down from the stool she touched Juice's thigh and said thanks for the use of his shower.

Juice's gaze followed her as she approached her dad. Clay embraced her quietly and the two didn't seem to share any words. He saw Roxy's face fall slightly before Clay moved around her to get a beer. Just as she was about to give up and walk away Clay returned muttered something to her, kissed her cheek and pushed her off to the crowd as he turned back to chat to the guys.

It struck him as odd that Clay didn't seem overly excited by the return of his daughter, but then again he had no clue about normal family dynamics.

A couple of hours later and Roxy was well on her way to being drunk. She luckily thought to eat something from the BBQ before she got too wasted but with everyone celebrating her return and the prospect being tasked with refilling her drink all night she knew she wouldn't be sober much longer.

Roxy was chatting with Half Sack, this new and somewhat awkward, prospect when her eyes lit up seeing a familiar Chevy pull into the lot. Pushing off from the table she ran over to the blonde girl unfolding herself from the front seat.

"Harley!" Roxy threw herself at the tall blonde and they stumbled back into the car.

"Roxy! God it's good to see ya!"

Harley was Luann and Otto's daughter and the two had grown up together round the club. When Roxy moved to NY to study Harley stayed behind and started work at her Mum's studio... Not behind the camera thankfully. Harley was the only other person who knew the ins and outs of her time in New York with Matt, having come to visit more than once, which Matt did not appreciate. Although she may not work in front of the camera at the studio growing up with a porn star mother and spending all day round the set had influenced Harley's general fashion sense.

"So are we ready to party? Sorry I'm so late, got stuck finishing things up at the studio. Rest of the girls should be here soon though."

They linked arms and walked back into the clubhouse to the bar. After getting a round in and lighting up a cigarette each they surveyed the scene around them. By this time the rest of the Cara Cara girls were here and the guys were well and truly enjoying their company.

Roxy spotted Juice from across the room sitting on the sofa in front of the stripper pole with Chibs. Each had a blond on their laps and seemed to be enjoying the company. Roxy shuddered and looked away, she hated seeing the guys she grew up with getting frisky with the women.

Harley noticed her gaze. "Yeah that's a disturbing sight. You'd think they'd just get a room."

"Yeah I feel ya."

It was as if Juice had heard Harley's words about getting a room and he stood with the blond as she pulled him towards the dorms.

"Jealous?" Harley quirked an eyebrow at Roxy's gaze.

Roxy chuckled. "No, just worried coz my bags are in his room... I'm deciding whether I go grab them now or have to interrupt them later."

Harley barked out a laugh. "Yeah I'd go now. Who knows what the fuck you'll walk in on later. She's one of the kinkier stars at Cara Cara."

"Ok hang tight." Roxy left her drink with Harley and ran towards the dorms and stopped near his door before clearing her throat.

Juice had the blonde pinned against his door while he fumbled in his pocket for the keys. Neither noticed seeing as his mouth was on her neck, her hands trying to open his jeans while one of his cupped her chest and the other finally pulled the keys from his pocket.

Roxy just sucked up the nerve and tapped him on the shoulder. He jumped back slightly and stared at Roxy wondering what the hell she was doing.

"I'm reeeeeallly sorry to interrupt. But uh can I get my bags now so I don't have to interrupt later?"

Juice gawked at her a bit more before nodding and quickly unlocked his door. The blond gave Roxy an impatient look as she quickly grabbed her bags and made her way back out.

"Sure you don't wanna stay? There's room for three." Juice winked as she walked past him.

Roxy just laughed, "not in your wet dreams Juicy boy." And made her way back down the corridor.


	3. Chapter 3

Attempting to go for a jog that morning was a stupid idea. Harley had insisted on more drinks, resulting in shots and some risqué dancing before Gemma had Tig bundle Roxy and her bags in the caddy and head home. Not remembering much of the night was probably a good thing.

As she walked back from the store with a newspaper and a bottle of water Roxy recalled the awkward encounter with Juice in the hallway. Stifling a giggle she rolled her eyes and made her way in the house to get ready for the day.

Unfortunately her day would be spent back at TM while her mum sorted stuff out in the shop. She was sure she'd get roped in to helping at some point but she did not want to go back to working in the office again and was ready to find a job in her field.

After pulling on her denim shorts, a slightly higher cut tank top and a red flannel shirt she was down the stairs and ready to meet her mum at the car.

Juice's head was pounding as he made his usual breakfast shake, sure the machine was louder than it usually was. However despite the hangover he'd made it out of his bed and into the kitchen, showered and dressed for his day in the garage.

Tig stumbled in in search of food and coffee to sort his hangover as well.

"So have fun with Cyndi last night did we?" He winked at the younger brother before rummaging in the fridge.

"You could say that. She's a bit full on huh? Coulda fuckin warned me!" He rubbed his back subconsciously, surprised the claw marks weren't still bleeding.

"Hey if you ain't man enough to handle her then pass her on to someone who is."

Juice rolled his eyes. "I don't think anyone is man enough to handle a mountain lion in the sack." He wandered outside to have his shake and smoke in peace.

Juice knew the oxymoron in having a health shake for breakfast whilst also smoking. But he liked to look after his physical appearance and the smoking calmed his nerves. That and weed, but weed wasn't always smart to smoke if he knew he might end up having to ride that day.

Opening the door to the yard he was walking over to his usual table when he saw Roxy sitting there. Smoke in mouth and pouring over the newspaper. Memories of last night came flooding back and he cringed remembering his proposition outside his bedroom.

"Fuck. I really am an idiot." Sucking it up he made his way over and sat opposite her.

"Morning soldier." She cocked an eyebrow and took a drag of her cigarette. "Enjoy last night did we?" She chuckled to herself noticing the bruises that adorned his neck and a scratch that was evident on his arm.

Juice shifted awkwardly in his seat.

"Uh yeah. About that. I'm really sorry, don't know what the fuck I was thinking." He was nervous Roxy had taken offence to his comment and he did not want to be on Gemma or Clay's bad sides.

Roxy looked up from her paper ready to tease him some more but when she saw the earnest look in his eyes she thought better of it. "Don't stress Juicy. You were pretty drunk. As was I."

"Yeah that's no excuse. Don't want you thinkin I'm some asshole." There was something about Roxy that he knew deserves respect and he figured she didn't often get it.

She shrugged. "I don't think you are." She placed a hand on his arm. "Stop stressing and drink your weird juice."

He snorted a laugh and fished around for his smokes before she passed her new packet over. "I owe ya from yesterday."

"Cheers." He took one and lit it up. "So why you reading the paper?"

"Looking for jobs. And somewhere to live. Ain't no way I'm staying in the Morrow compound full time again."

"That bad huh?"

"After being somewhat independent for the last four and a bit years? Yeah it will be."

"So what sorta job you looking for? I know Gemma has a spot waiting for you here, don't fancy hanging round here all the time?"

"Hell no. Plus I just studied for four years to get a double degree in social work and counselling. Not gunna waste that bumming round here doing paperwork for my parents."

"Impressive."

"Not really. But my student loans sure are." She looked over a couple more pages. Circling where to apply and some cheap ish looking apartments for rent around Charming.

"I wouldn't move in there." Juice pointed to one of the circled boxes.

"How come?"

"Not many nice people living there any more." Juice knew for a fact that a couple of the Nords had apartments in that block. It was on the other side of town, hence why it was so cheap.

"Beggars can't be choosers." Roxy downed the rest of her coffee and groaned as her mum strode purposefully across the lot to their table.

"Morning guys. How's the hangovers now?" She smirked at the pair who were clearly both nursing their headaches.

"I'd forgotten just how persuasive Harley could be when she wants something."

Gemma smiled at her daughter's antics. "Well better Buck up soon kid. We are going shopping."

Juice snickered before Roxy shot him a glare. "What in the hell for?"

"Some of the guys from SAMTAC are heading in tonight for business. Figured you'd be helping me host and that we'd need to find you some more appropriate clothes." Gemma surveyed her daughter's casual and mostly covered up appearance, hair piled in a bun on her head and no makeup behind her sunglasses.

"Really Ma? I've not even been home 24 hours. I've barely spoken to Jax. I'm not hosting some biker dinner so you and dad can try set me up."

Gemma feigned insult at her daughter's accusation. "I would never set you up."

"Bull."

"Ok fine. But it's time you got back out there. Quit moping over that sorry ass in New York. You're back where you belong baby."

"I've literally been broken up from my fiancé for barely a week. I think I can mope a while longer."

"Whatever baby. We are going and that's it. We'll do something about your hair and nails while we're at it." She turned to walk away. "Be ready in 10. You too Juicy, you're in the garage today."

Juice mock saluted as she walked off. Turning back to Roxy "so uh that was intense."

"Ha that's just the half of it. I'm not really moping over Matt but the last thing I want is to be coerced into being an Old Lady 5mins after I get off the plane." She folded the newspaper together aggressively and shoved it to the end of the table.

"How come you guys broke up?"

Roxy glanced at him and sighed. "Not many people know why so please don't spread this around. I know how you guys love to gossip." Juice nodded his agreement. "He was great at first and sooooo different to everyone here. But over time he just got picky and, well, mean. I dunno. Like he was from a pretty well off family. Which wasn't why I wanted to date him, but he was just different to everything I'd ever known. Unfortunately I was different to everything he knew and he wanted me to be something I'm not. Didn't want me to associate with my family and all you guys. God he almost died when Harley rocked up the first time." She paused for a moment looking down at her hands. "He proposed a couple months ago just before I found out Wendy was pregnant. I said yes at the time because I thought that was what I wanted. Normal husband with a normal job. But then I hated that I'd be missing out on this massive part of Jax's life and being an Aunty. And he wouldn't let up on the family stuff. He was getting ready to sit the bar exam and his dad is some hotshot lawyer over there so my connections to SAMCRO weren't really favourable and he wouldn't have anything to do with my family. So I knew I had to bail."

Juice studied her for a minute. "Why'd you stay for so long if he was such an ass?"

"Like I said. He was different. I wanted normal. He seemed normal."

"Fair enough."

"Juice you best get your Puerto Rican ass in this garage right now!" Gemma hollered from across the lot.

"Guess that's my cue to leave. Enjoy your shopping."

Roxy rolled her eyes. "Sure. Enjoy your work."

Shopping had taken its roll on Roxy. She had forgotten how full on her mum could be. Not to mention she spent a couple of hours having her hair and nails done too at her mother's request.

Gemma bought her a whole new wardrobe almost, and insisted on purchasing her some new underwear too, if you could call it underwear, along with some makeup.

Now she had strict instructions to get ready before heading back to the clubhouse for dinner. Gemma was already there preparing the meal. They'd usually had family dinners at the Morrow home but with a larger group it was just easier down at the clubhouse.

At her mums instruction Roxy put on the tight black leather skirt, which thankfully stopped above her knees, and a navy blue low cut, v neck strappy top, tucked in. Feeling far more exposed than she was used to Roxy sighed and figured she'd need to suck it up. Matt had always been the one to pick her outfits. They were far more conservative. This screamed trashy biker whore. But again Roxy shook her head trying to get rid of his judgemental voice.

Roxy fluffed her long brown hair out of the new leather jacket and shoved her feet into the strappy wedges and grabbed the spare car keys and headed for the car.

There were a few more bikes than usual in the lot but not too many. She figured only a handful must have come from SAMTAC which eased her nerves.

As she entered the clubhouse all eyes swung to her making her wish more than ever that she had a different choice in clothing. Clay seemed much happier to see her and proudly introduced her to the visiting members. Some of whom she knew from before she'd left. Making brief eye contact with Happy and Kozik and offering both a smile, Roxy made her way to the kitchen under the guise of helping her mum out. There were only a couple of crow eaters and her mum, Luann and Harley in the kitchen. None of the other SAMCRO guys had Old Lady's except for Opie. But he was the one person she was yet to see. Apparently Wendy was "under the weather" so she wouldn't be joining them. Not that Wendy was an Old Lady any more now Jax had filed for divorce.

Once everyone had plates piled high they sat around the tables that had been set up together. Roxy finally had her chance to chat to Jax seeing as they were sat together down the end where Clay sat as head of the table. Gemma smiled proudly as she watched her children talk animatedly. From halfway down the table Juice also couldn't help watch Roxy and Jax. There was just something so carefree in her at that time. She didn't seem as guarded as she had before.

He shook his head trying to get his mind off her. It had wandered a few times in her direction. Especially last night when he was drunk. But he figured he best not even attempt to go there.

"So what happened with Wendy? I thought you were happy with her?" Roxy finally had the chance to ask him what was on her mind. It didn't seem right for her to question him on it over the phone when he'd first told her they were divorcing.

"Dunno really. Just wasn't what I was looking for I guess." Jax tried to be honest.

Roxy knew really it probably had more to do with him being still hung up on Tara his high school sweetheart. Roxy never had that experience so she didn't really get Jax's continued hang up on her, I mean it'd been like 10 years since she left.

"I feel ya."

"I'm glad you're back. And not with that douche of a lawyer any more." Jax offered her a light hearted smile.

"Yeah I'm glad I'm back too. I did miss the place." Clay tapped his beer bottle in an attempt to get everyone's attention now they were finished eating. "Didn't miss this though."

Jax rolled his eyes and let his sister giggle to herself before turning to Clay.

"Brothers. It's great to have everyone here tonight especially after the return of my daughter. It's about time she got back to her roots and it's my hope that she'll settle down here."

With all eyes on Roxy now she just wished she could slide under the table and out from everyone's scrutinising gaze. Clay mumbled on some more about brotherhood and work to be done before everyone started cheering and whooping.

As if last night wasn't enough there was to be another shindig tonight and Roxy had the feeling she was supposed to be the centrepiece. Moving over to Harley she attempted to hide herself behind her striking friend.

Harley Delaney was around the same height as Roxy, but always wears heels meaning she towered over her brunette friend, where Roxy tried to hide her natural DD chest when possible Harley emphasised her surgically enhanced DDs and always dressed to impress. Roxy hoped that next to her stunning and well made up friend that she might fade into obscurity tonight.

That wasn't going to happen any time soon. Clay was walking over with two of the SAMTAC members. One was the President, she could see the patch, and the other didn't seem to hold an office.

"Lee," Clay gestured to the President, "Bowie, this is my daughter Roxanna. She's helping Gemma host tonight."

Roxy quickly jumped to attention and offered the guys a beer which the both accepted. She surveyed the two men Clay brought to her, probably to pawn her off to and immediately crossed the President out. He had at least 15years on her and she hated her dad for even trying.

This Bowie guy on the other hand was t too bad. He seemed to be around Jax's age, making him only 8 years older. He had shaggy brown hair and a chiseled jaw line and muscular body. She could see him checking her out from behind the bar and she looked away.

Clay and Lee seemed to figure it best to leave Bowie with the two girls and they wandered off. Harley also thought it funny to leave the two alone so she flounced off to find her mum, giving a wink in Roxy's direction despite her pleading look.

"So you just got back from New York?" Bowie sucked down some beer while still leering at her from the other side of the bar.

Despite how uncomfortable he made her she figured she best play nice till she could find an exit. She set about making a strong vodka and Coke before answering him.

"Yeah just finished college, figured I should get back here for family."

She moved back around the bar and he gestured towards the nearby sofa. Roxy hesitated but figured she should follow suit, again not wanting to be rude and piss off her dad who was eyeing them closely from the other end of the bar. Once they settled on the sofa he seemed satisfied and wandered off with Tig.

Bowie stretched his arm over the back of the sofa and attempted to engage her in conversation. Eventually running low on drinks he gestured for their prospect to grab some more for the both of them.

Roxy continued being polite while downing her much stronger third drink. Slightly buzzed she was waiting for her opportunity to excuse herself. But people seemed to be leaving them be. The one time in the busy clubhouse that no one wanted to be nosy. Their sofa was at a more secluded end of the bar and most people's attention was on the entertainment which had since arrived.

Bowie took her distraction as opportunity to run his hand up her thigh. Roxy hadn't realised how close he'd gotten and when she turned to face him he took it as an opportunity to kiss her.

Surprised at first Roxy didn't respond, his hand was clamped firmly on her mid thigh, pushing her skirt up slightly while his other tangled in her hair. After a second Roxy moved her lips, but was not enjoying the kiss. She panicked and pulled back slightly and noticed Bowie's mild annoyance.

"Sorry I gotta dash to the bathroom real quick. I'll be back."

Juice had noticed from his spot at the bar Bowie making the moves on Roxy. Bowie didn't seem to notice her freeze at his advance but Juice did. He figured something was definitely up when she bolted through to the dorm corridor. Bowie just shrugged and made his way up to the bar. Nodding a hello at Juice before ordering another beer.

Juice discreetly made his way down the corridor to the bathroom and knocked on the door.

"Just a sec." Roxy's answer was slightly tense. She prayed it wasn't Bowie looking for her. She didn't much fancy wanting to tell him to back off while no one else was around.

"It's just me. Juice. You ok?"

There was a beat of silence before she opened the door and came out.

Clearing her throat she said "yeah fine. I just uh.."

"Needed to get away from Bowie?"

"Something like that."

Juice could tell she was on edge still. "Want to hide in my dorm for a sec?"

She stared at him for a minute trying to decide what exactly he was offering.

Sensing her thoughts he offered "you can chill in there by yourself if you like I'll make myself scarce."

She relaxed slightly and followed him to his door. "Sorry again for invading your privacy. I just don't wanna go back out there right now."

"That's ok. He should figure you're not a sweet butt and just back off."

She appreciated his sentiments and sat down on the bed.

"Want me to get Harley for you? Or Jax?"

"Uh Harley would be good. I promise I won't be long. Then you can have your room back. I'm sure you'll need it tonight."

He laughed and made his way back to the door. "I'll send Harley through."

Roxy lay back on the bed and closed her eyes. Her buzz was certainly wearing off now. It wasn't that Bowie was too forceful or unattractive. In fact he was quite the opposite. But Roxy didn't want to start anything right now let alone sleeping with some club member like a crow eater. Not to mention her dad was the one trying to orchestrate the whole relationship as a way of palming her off to be some other guy's problem. It was just the way he was and the way things were in the MC world. Females had a set role and Old Ladies would be taken care of by their guys. As a girl Roxy served no purpose to Clay. She'd seen it all her life by the way he treated her over Jackson. Despite the fact that Jax wasn't even his son Clay had made it clear he was the prodigy. Roxy was just unfortunately a female.

Harley knocked on the door and slowly opened it.

"So what happened? Juice said you were upset?" She flopped down on the bed next to her friend.

"Nah not upset. Just needed outta there."

"What's wrong with Bowie?"

"Nothing I guess. Just not in the mood for anyone right now and he was keen."

"Not to mention Clay set the whole thing up."

"Exactly. Ugh I've been home a day and he's already trying to pawn me off on the first available club member."

"Y'know Juice ain't so bad. Could always pawn you off to him." Harley wiggled her eyebrows at her friend.

Roxy just snorted a laugh out. "Sure thing."

"I've seen you two looking making the glad eyes at each other."

"God. Glad eyes? Are you a 1930's porn producer?" Roxy rolled over laughing.

"No." Harley scowled. "Hey he's hot I don't blame you."

"Yeah you're not wrong there."

"Plus from what I've overheard from the girls he's pretty good in bed. Well hung too."

"Oh my god Delaney. We can't talk about the poor guy right now in his dorm room."

"Which is freakishly clean by the way. Hey if you become his old lady at least you won't be picking up after a pig the whole time."

"Ok. I'm not becoming anyone's old lady right now. 'Well hung' or otherwise. Now let's give the poor guy his dorm back."

"You're the one that's missing out."

"I'm sure I am." She locked the door behind her and they made their way back to the bar.


	4. Chapter 4

The two weeks after the SAMTAC dinner had flown by. Clay had been disappointed that things didn't work out with Bowie. Bowie on the other hand clearly wasn't. By the time she'd emerged from Juice's dorm he was back on the sofa with another girl from Cara Cara. Clay reckoned she'd missed her chance there but to be honest if he couldn't wait 5 minutes for her to come back from the bathroom then he clearly was a waste of time. However the conflict made for living at home rather tense. Gemma was pleased to have her girl around but Clay had made his displeasure apparent on more than one occasion. Roxy knew that in his mind she was too old to be at home and single. So apartment hunting had been top of her priorities.

Things were looking up on the job front however, she had two interviews this week. One with a government agency doing social work with youth in Stockton and another with an outreach agency working out of St Thomas. Roxy was hopeful for the St Thomas one. It seemed like it would fit in more with her specialisations. She felt confident that she'd aced both of them but only time will tell.

In the meantime it was apartment hunting time.

The first two apartments the realtor showed her were nice, small but adequate for her needs, however the third was perfect! And within her price range. It was situated at the end of the Main Street of town. So not too far from TM or her mums which of course would please Gemma. After filling out the application and references for her landlord in New York Roxy decided she'd head over to TM and see what was happening down there.

Roxy had been borrowing her mums old mustang and was secretly hoping she'd let her keep it. Pulling it into the lot she killed the engine and hopped out to see who was hanging around the clubhouse. There weren't many bikes in the lot so she figured the guys must be out on a run somewhere. The TM office was closed and there was only Lowell in the garage so things must be slow. Roxy couldn't see her mums car anywhere either which meant she must be out too.

Straightening her floaty peach blouse she made her way over to the clubhouse. If no one interesting was about she was going to head home and just be bored there instead.

The only two in the clubhouse were Half Sack and Juice. Sack was busy stocking the bar and Juice was fiddling away on his computer. Neither really registered her presence so she stalked over to the bar and cleared her throat.

Over the last couple of weeks she got to know the two younger guys more. Sack was the same age as Roxy, 24, which blew her mind given he'd already served in Afghanistan and been honourably discharged, an admirable accomplishment in her eyes. Juice was 4 years older and from her conversations with him she'd found out he was a massive computer and tech nerd and had been somewhat run out of New York after doing some time for hacking. He was sketchy on the details but she got the gist.

"How's it going Rox?" Sack offered her a bottle of water or a Coke.

Grabbing the water she shrugged. "All right. Think I may have gotten an apartment today. Fingers crossed."

"Ah cool. Which one?" Juice finally turned from his laptop, grabbed the beer Sack offered him, and gave her one of his glowing smiles.

"The one on Main Street. It was perfect inside. Sooo much cleaner than the others, brighter and more airy too."

"Airy?" He cocked an eyebrow.

"Yes airy. Smarty pants. It was nice so shut up." She nudged him with her elbow.

Sack rolled his eyes and went back to carting the booze from the back and stocking up the bar.

"So how'd the interviews go?"

"Yeah ok I hope. Just waiting to hear back now. Desperate for the outpatient one at St Thomas. It's perfect for what I specialised in. And it's a grad position so lots of support."

Juice could see the excitement in her eyes as she talked. He admired her for her passion about her career choice. He'd never really had that. At one time he had wanted to go to college and do something with computers, really use his talents. However things just didn't go to plan for him. They never did. But at least now he was happy with his life, he had family here in SAMCRO, family he hadn't had before. Which was why he hadn't acted on any of his impulses with Roxy. Since she arrived they'd shared smokes at the clubhouse and had chats on more than one occasion. Including over a beer at Gemma's dinner on Sunday. It had been so long since he'd had actual companionship from a woman rather than just a heated session in the bedroom. The crow eaters and sweet butts just weren't into that kind of companionship and he hated to admit it but he missed it. Roxy was just the perfect cross between friendly and funny whilst being amazingly sexy. Sometimes he couldn't stop staring at her, especially now with her fitted black jeans and the soft sheer top. He could almost see her bra through the material...

He realised he'd zoned out while she was talking and tried to snap himself back to attention.

"Anyways. I should find out next week. Don't know how I'll sit still till then."

"I'm sure there'll be plenty going on here over the weekend to keep you occupied."

Just as he said that the rest of the guys sauntered into the clubhouse.

"Roxy my dear, a vision as always." An arm grasped her shoulder.

"Ah Chibs. Ever the charmer."

"Naturally. Sack a whisky please my good man." Chibs was off again. Roxy figured whatever it was must have been a good day for the club. The rest of the guys crowded the bar and Roxy hopped up taking it as her cue to leave them to it.

"Hey sis, still going over to see Wendy later?"

"Yeah course. Should I take anything?"

"A bullet proof vest?" Jax chuckled. "Nah I dunno. Haven't spoken to her much."

Roxy had made an effort over the last two weeks to get to know Wendy. She had met her before she left but Jax and her weren't together at the time so she had no reason to actually spend time with her. Now she was pregnant with her nephew she figured she should make the effort. Jax had been keen to have someone keeping an eye on her given her drug problem and figured with Roxy's qualifications she would be useful. So far Wendy hadn't shown any signs of using but she was in a stressful situation. It was obvious she still loved Jax but he didn't reciprocate those feelings and now here she was stuck having his kid but she was alone. Roxy figured it'd drive anyone with an addiction to use again so she was happy to help her and try show her that even though her and Jax were no longer together that at least she had family.

"I'm sure it'll be fine. I actually kinda like her. Reminds me of mum in a sassy way."

Jax laughed. "Oh god please don't say that."

Just then Roxy's phone started ringing and she excused herself from the clubhouse to go into the lot where it was quieter.

"Hello? Roxanna Morrow speaking." She hadn't recognised the number and crossing her fingers she hoped it was good news about a job or the apartment.

"Anna. You didn't return my last call." Oh god. It was Matt. Roxy had been trying to avoid talking to him. She just wanted to focus on moving on.

"Oh. Sorry Matt. Just been busy sorting things out here." This was going to be a super awkward conversation.

"I have some of your stuff here. Was going to send it down to you. But I figured you'd be back here by now."

"Why would I be back?"

He chuckled to himself. "This is silly Anna." He thought Roxanna was too trashy biker and Roxy wasn't any better so he always referred to her as Anna which drove her up the wall now. "You know you need to be here."

"No Matt. What I need is to be with my family."

He scoffed. "Come off it Anna. We all know you're not going to get a better offer than what I'm giving you. Hell its a damn sight more than you deserve."

"If you've just called to insult me I'm hanging up."

"This is your last chance for happiness babe. We all know no one else is going to have you. You'll just end up being some biker whore. At least I can offer you a little class."

Roxy started seeing red now. It was always the same thing. She wasn't enough for him, he made that clear by constantly orchestrating her every move, her style, her friends, yet he would say she wasn't good enough for anyone else either. It took a long time for Roxy to see this and a lot of persuasion from Harley to realise how manipulated she'd been.

Matt was never violent towards her, but this kinda shit was just as bad. She was still only just realising how manipulated she had been for the past 3 years. At first he'd been the romantic hot shot senior who swept her off her feet but as time progressed she became his accessory. The second year of their relationship, after he graduated, he kicked things up a notch and that's when he really dug his claws in.

"Matt I'm not going to go into it again. Just send me my shit to the address I gave you and you can move on. Find someone worthy of your golden ass!" She hung up violently and threw her phone across the lot, just as Juice came outside for a smoke.

Great just what she needs a fucking audience to her breakdown. She couldn't help the tears that had started to fall but eager to get out of his sight she huffed and got up to grab her phone just as he made it to the bench to sit down.

Juice had just wanted to come outside to see if he'd catch her on her own again. But when he saw the tension on Roxy's face as she tried to turn her phone back on he realised he must have walked into something bad.

"You alright?"

She huffed again. "Not really. Just fucked my phone." She started stomping towards her car.

"I can probably fix it if you want?"

She stopped for a second, considering his offer. "Would you?"

"Yeah just give me a couple hours." He got up and walked over to her in the middle of the lot. "What'd it do to you anyways?"

She snorted. "You don't wanna know." She shifted uncomfortably. "Look I gotta go see Harley. Can I come by and get it later?"

"Sure thing." He noticed her avoiding his eye contact but took the phone from her hand anyway. "Take it easy yeah?"

"Yeah sure." She turned back to her car before mumbling a thanks and see you later.

Juice couldn't help but feel kinda bad at her obvious change in demeanour from just 15 minutes before. Gone was her 'airy' confidence and excitement, and in its place was an air of rejection and, just, sadness.

He watched her take out of the lot, threw the rest of his butt away and made his way inside to see if he could fix this phone.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: thanks for all the reviews. Glad you're enjoying it. As you can tell it starts just before season 1. Hoping to see how far I can go.**

Harley's solution to Roxy's current funk was to have a girls night out. At first Roxy was opposed to the idea. But after some insistent nagging she relented and allowed Harley to take charge. Now they were at Harley and Luann's house with a couple of the other Cara Cara girls, Ima and Lyla, and Roxy was allowing a small group of porn stars to choose her outfit for the evening.

"C'mon Roxy you've got a bangin bod. You HAVE to wear this!" Lyla was insistent on a skin tight, black bandeau dress that juuuust covered Roxy's ass, hugged all her curves and even though it had straps barely concealed her cleavage.

"I dunno Lyla. It's a bit less than I'm used to wearing."

"Nonsense. Now you've got your sexy undies and those black shoes from home get them on and get this dress on then we'll sort make up and hair."

A few minutes later and Roxy was in front of the three other girls and a full length mirror. After a couple of seconds she had to admit she did feel pretty good.

The others were ready to go so they set about getting some drinks and sorting Roxy's hair and make up. By the time they were done she was a little buzzed and starting to feel like a cross between a model and a porn star.

God if Matt could see her now he'd flip out. She giggled to herself, finished her drink and followed the others to Luann's car. She had offered to drive them by the clubhouse to grab Roxy's phone before heading towards Stockton where there were some good bars and clubs.

As they pulled into the lot Roxy realised she had to actually go into the clubhouse dressed like this. She was starting to regret re scheduling with Wendy and agreeing to Harley's night out. But when she looked around she realised there were only a couple of bikes in the lot.

The girls got out ready to grab some drinks for the road from the bar while Roxy grabbed her phone off Juice.

"Ladies... We didn't know we were havin a party tonight." Chibs wiggled his eyebrows at the group who sauntered into the bar.

"You aren't. But we sure are!" Harley nudged Roxy over to Juice who had only just looked up from his laptop. She winked at Roxy and made her way to the bar with the other two.

Roxy self consciously walked over to the booth Juice was sitting in and sat opposite him.

"How'd you go with the phone?"

Juice took a second to answer. His brain kinda had a depleted blood flow at this point in time. Over the two weeks she'd been here the closest outfit to sexy he'd seen her in was the night of the SAMTAC dinner. Even then his mind was blown. Right now he was having a hard time keeping his eyes on her face.

He cleared his throat. "Uh good yeah."

She looked at him a minute, waiting for him to elaborate. God he couldn't even look at her face without his mind blanking. Roxy was naturally pretty without makeup. But all dolled up like this her crystal blue eyes contrasted so brightly with her hair he was somewhat mesmerised.

He grabbed the phone and pushed it towards her. "Uh it's all good now. Just kinda bumped it a bit when you threw it. Should work fine now. I charged it n shit so you should be right."

"Thanks Juice." She gave him a glittering smile before moving to get up.

"So uh where you guys off to tonight?"

She sat back again fiddling with her phone.

"Somewhere in Stockton. I have no idea what I'm doing but the girls apparently have me covered. I need to stop moping apparently."

"You don't mope."

"You're the only person that agrees with me there. But what the hell. Girls night with some porn stars? What could possibly go wrong?"

Juice chuckled. "Yeah we'll keep outta trouble. I know those girls and they're anything but Angels."

"I'm sure you know them." She winked and got up to go to the girls who were beckoning her over. Bottle of vodka and a bottle of tequila in hands for the short trip to Stockton.

"Hey I put my number in your phone." She looked at him for a second. "And Chibs', Tig's and Bobby's too. Hope you don't mind but I realised you didn't have any of the club numbers."

"Oh. Thanks. No I don't mind."

"They're not burners so if you ever need anything you should be able to get someone."

"Thanks again." She gave him a wave and walked off to follow the girls out the door.

Juice couldn't help but watch the way her ass moved in the tight dress. When the door shut behind them he downed the rest of his beer, wishing like hell he was going with them. He scanned the room, seeing a brunette sweet butt near the pool table with a couple of the other girls. He grabbed the laptop and walked over to her motioning towards the dorms. Naturally she obliged and started running her hands over his back as they made their way to his room.

By the time the girls actually reached the club in Stockton they were well and truly buzzed and ready to hit the dance floor. The Cara Cara girls knew the owner of this particular club so as soon as they were inside they were given cocktails and shown to a booth near the dance floor.

Roxy had to admit, it was super fun being made a fuss of. She was sure it had more to do with her gang of friends than anything else but hell she could ride the gravy train for one night.

By the time they made it to the dance floor the girls were wasted. Normally Roxy wouldn't have had any moves whatsoever but the drinks combined with Harley's coaxing loosened her up.

Before long they were had some guys showing interest. The other girls were loving it and soon paired off. One of the guys caught Roxy's eye. He was tall, dark and handsome and he was very interested in Roxy.

"So... Fancy a drink?" He was pressed against her back as the grinded the to the music.

Looking around and realising the others had paired off she agreed. They made their way to the bar and he ordered another couple drinks for them and they headed off to a more secluded booth.

After a couple of minutes he made his move. Roxy for once was enjoying herself, it was shallow but it was nice to have a hot guy interested in her and showing attention. His lips on her neck and his hand sliding her up her dress should have brought her back to reality. However she was drunk and enjoying herself.

Harley walked past at some point with her guy. Looked like they were heading to the back, she gave Roxy the thumbs up which she returned.

A few more minutes went by and the guy tried to pull her hand to his fly. Roxy stalled a bit and he noticed.

"Another drink?"

"Yeah sure." She smiled at him and he left to go grab some more.

She realised she better slow up, she didn't even know the guys name yet.

"Here you go." He smirked as he gave her another cocktail.

Roxy accepted happily and took a few sips. Throwing caution to the wind she decided, fuck it, she never did anything reckless, she barely even had a one night stand in college. It was about time she enjoyed herself.

Moving closer they picked up where they left off again. The guy's hand made its way further up her thigh and she edged closer before taking a few more sips of her drink. The guy's dark eyes watched her as he sipped his own drink. After a couple more minutes he suggested they get out of there, find some place more comfortable. She was reluctant to agree but when he pulled her up she couldn't say no.

As they walked through the bar she hazily looked around for the other girls but she couldn't see them anywhere.

By the time they were outside she was finding it hard to focus.

"What the hell cocktail was that?"

"A good one baby."

He helped her into the cab and started groping her again as he told the driver where to go.

Roxy was distracted by his hands on her chest. He groaned as he massaged her breast and she had a moment of clarity through the fog. She had no idea where she was or who she was with. But they pulled up at a house and the guy threw some cash at the driver and pulled her out of the cab.

A dulled panic set in as she was pulled into the small house. They hadn't driven for long so she assumed they were still around Stockton somewhere, but then again she couldn't be sure.

She needed a minute to sort through the mess in her head. It was getting increasingly hard to think and focus but she excused herself to the bathroom. It was then she realised he must have put something in her drink.

Luckily she still had her purse. She pulled out her phone and contemplated who to call. Harley wouldn't know where she was, if she even answered her phone. Jax was a good idea but how would he find her. Then she realised Juice. He'd be able to trace her phone. He would know how to do that shit. She hoped.

It rang a few times before he groggily answered.

"Hello?"

"Juice? It's me." She was whispering and slurring heavily.

Juice shot up in bed, he recognised her voice straight away and knew something must be wrong for her to call him so late and so drunk. He got a feeling it was not a booty call.

"Roxy? Where are you? What's going on?"

The urgency in his tone clouded her mind and she was finding it harder to make sense of why she was calling.

"I need you to find me. Some guy. I dunno."

Juice shot out of bed and pulled his track pants on, firing up the laptop as he did so.

"Some guy what? Where are you Roxy?"

"I dunno. Stockton maybe. I think he spiked my drink." She groaned slightly. "Oh this is bad. I'm at his house."

"Fucks sake. What club were you at?"

"Striker? I think. Harley knew the owner."

She could hear footsteps in the hall. Before a knock on the door.

"Babe, you alright in there?"

Roxy turned the tap on. "Just freshening up." She called out.

"Roxy? Can you get out of there?" Juice was frantically trying to open the software that would trace her phone, glad he'd changed some of her settings earlier.

"I don't think so he's outside."

"Fuck."

"I gotta go." She whispered. "He's outside."

"Fuck. Ok. Roxy keep your phone on the line. We'll come get you."

Just as he said that he got a pinpoint on her phone.

"Thanks."

He heard the muffled sound of her phone in her bag as she opened the door of the bathroom before he heard the guy's muffled attempts to get her to follow him.

Rushing into the bar he saw Chibs and Half Sack still sitting around watching Bobby tinker on the guitar.

Pulling on his t shirt and kutte Juice ran over to them.

"Sack call Gemma tell her we need to find Roxy and we'll be bringing her back to theirs."

Thankful that Clay was at the warehouse with Jax and Tig tonight he beckoned for a confused Chibs and Bobby to follow him.

"What the fucks goin on Juicy Boy?" Chibs and Bobby hot on his heels to the lot.

"Roxy just called. Some guy has her at his house. He's drugged her. Wants us to come get her."

"Shit. Ok you take the van Juice we'll follow on bikes."

Juice ran to the van and practically jumped in and floored it out of the lot with Bobby and Chibs hot on his heels. Praying as they made the 20minute drive to Stockton that they'd make it before anything happened.


	6. Chapter 6

Juice drove as fast as possible to the address he'd found. Praying that Roxy would be alright by the time they got there.

They pulled up a couple doors down from the house and met together round the back of the van.

"So what's the plan? Know what we are dealing with?" Bobby looked to Juice.

"Dunno just some club punk I'm guessing. Spiked her drink, took her home. She was somewhat coherent when I spoke to her but depending on what and how much he gave her I dunno how long that'll last."

"Ok we'll go in there you grab her we'll deal with him. Probably won't need much persuasion if he's just some jackass."

"Alright let's do this."

Roxy knew she was fast running out of time. She'd tried stalling as long as possible but the guy was becoming more insistent and she was becoming less able to make moves for herself.

Currently he was on top of her on the sofa, one hand playing with the band of her thong and while he moved his head to her chest.

Roxy had no choice but to play compliant as she didn't want him to get violent. Plus she figured the guys would be here soon.

Within seconds she heard the front door crash open and the guy jumped off her.

"Who are you? What the fuck are you doing here?"

Chibs threw the guy into the wall. "I could ask you the same thing dickwad."

Juice moved over to Roxy who was straightening herself up on the sofa. Totally embarrassed but relieved.

"C'mon I got the van out front." Juice helped her up while Bobby and Chibs dealt with the guy from the club.

Juice waited with Roxy at the end of the driveway for the other two to come out. She wouldn't look him in the eye and was shivering, probably more from anxiety or the drugs than the weather given that it was a balmy California night.

Juice couldn't bring himself to talk to her right now but chucked her his hoodie to put on.

She mumbled a thanks as Chibs and Bobby made their way out the yard.

"Well he won't be doin much for a while." Chibs clapped Bobby on the shoulder and motioned to Roxy. "You alright lass?"

Roxy jumped. "Huh?" She looked over at Chibs expectant face. "Yeah fine."

"Cmon love. We'll get you home." Chibs motioned at Juice to help Roxy back to the car.

Now she was totally embarrassed that the situation was over with and she had to sit in the van with Juice for the next 20 minutes.

They drove in silence for a while before Roxy braved saying something.

"I'm really sorry. Thanks for coming. I didn't know who else to call." Her words were still slurred from the effects of the drugs and alcohol.

"What were you thinkin goin off with someone like that?" He didn't mean to come across so harsh but he couldn't help it. Seeing that guy all over her like that stirred something up in him.

"I don't know." She whispered and turned to face the front. "Was just nice to have someone be interested in me like that."

"Course he was fucking interested in you Roxy. You're dressed like a porn star. Fuck."

Roxy wiped her eyes and looked out her window pulling down on her skirt as she did so.

"Yeah. You're right." She laid her head against the window and tried to hide down inside his jumper.

Juice tensed his hands on the steering wheel. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry Rox."

She just shrugged. "You're right. Don't worry bout it."

They drove on in silence for a while. He thought he heard a few sniffles but any time he looked over she seemed to be sleeping.

By the time they got back to Gemma's she was waiting out the front for them. Juice went round to the passenger side and helped Roxy out of the car as Gemma came over to grab her. "I'm really sorry."

Roxy didn't look him in the eyes. "Thanks again." She just ignored his statement and made her way over to her mum.

Juice felt like an asshole but figured there wasn't anything else to do tonight. Gemma said thanks to the three guys and let them go to the clubhouse.

xxx xxx

Roxy knew Juice was right last night. As if some guy would be interested in her for any other reason than the fact she was dressed like a slut last night.

Unfortunately for her Gemma had been insistent she meet her at TM today. Apparently Clay wanted words, she doubted it was to see if she was ok.

So after she'd slept off her hangover she showered and dressed in her baggy jeans, gray tshirt and zipped up her red hoody over the top. She grabbed Juice's hoody to give back to him and made her way to the car.

The lot was busy when she pulled in. Saturday meant club action and garage action and pretty much everyone was here. She noticed her dads bike wasn't here yet and neither was Tig's. Lucky for her.

Making her way to the clubhouse she looked around for Juice. Bumping into Chibs along the way.

"How you doing today lass?"

She shrugged. "Hungover. I'll live. Thanks for last night Chibs. Can't believe how stupid I was."

"Nah don't worry bout it lass. Shit happens." She returned his hug and went to move away. "You deserve someone nice. Ain't gunna find them in some club."

"Guess so." She shrugged again. "You seen Juice? Got his jumper. Figure I owe him and Bobby thanks as well."

"Haven't seen him yet love. Probably still in his dorm."

"Right. Thanks."

She made her way down the hall to the dorms and knocked on the door.

"Just a sec."

She heard some shuffling before the door opened revealing Juice in just his jeans.

Roxy couldn't help but look at his toned torso before flicking her eyes back to his.

"Uh just wanted to say thanks again for last night and give you this back." She handed him his jumper.

Juice took in her appearance. She was far from her sexy projection last night. Loose jeans, wet hair in a bun, baggy jumper and no makeup. He felt a bit guilty knowing his comment from last night probably had something to do with her appearance today. She was glowing last night when they left. Today not so much.

She turned to leave and he grabbed her arm. "You know I didn't mean what I said last night."

"You were right Juice. I was dressed like a slut." She gave a humourless chuckle. "What did I expect huh."

"Rox no. I didn't mean it that way. I was just pissed off. Guys like that are assholes. Take advantage."

"Yeah well. You guys got there in time. Thanks."

Juice realised he wouldn't be making it up to her any time soon so he let her go and went back into his dorm to finish getting dressed.

When Roxy made it back to the bar Jax and Tig were there which meant Clay would be close by. Taking a deep breath she walked over to them.

"Hey doll. How you doin? Heard about your escapades last night."

She snorted. "Yeah I'm fine now."

"Gotta be careful sis. Lotta assholes out there."

"Don't I know it." She eyed Juice as he made his way over to the group.

Clay appeared from the Chapel, saw his daughter standing there and strolled over.

"What the hell were you playing at last night?" He stopped in front of her and crossed his arms.

"I dunno. Things just got a bit out of hand."

"A bit out of hand? My guys have got better things to do than hunt your ass down all over god damn Cali."

"I'm real sorry dad. I don't know what happened." She fiddled with the sleeve of her jumper but felt Tig squeeze her arm in support.

"Yeah well I do. You were dressed like a hooker hangin round a bunch of porn stars what the fuck did you think was gunna happen? Huh?"

She didn't give him a response but she stood and nodded. "Yeah sure thing. Won't happen again."

"Better not."

The guys watched her walk back towards the dorm hallway.

"That was a bit harsh man." Jax shook his head at his step father.

"Well she won't go off doin that again. What possessed her to think that going off to Stockton by themselves was a good idea? Needs to stay close to the club." He shook his head. "She's just lucky it was some asshat and not someone else with an axe to grind with the club."

While the others were distracted Juice went to go find Roxy. He couldn't believe the dressing down Clay gave her in front of the club.

The bathroom was empty but seeing the hatch to the roof was open he headed on up.

Roxy was sitting with her back to the hatch, smoke in hand. She rubbed her eyes when she heard someone behind her on the roof.

"I don't need a pep talk Jax. I'm big enough now to deal with Clay by myself."

"Not Jax."

She jumped and turned around, wiping her eyes as she did so. "Oh sorry."

He took a seat next to her watching out over the lot. "Mind if I sit?"

She shrugged. "Free country."

They sat in silence for a minute before she offered him a smoke.

"So what was all that about down there?"

She snorted derisively. "That? That was nothing. Just dad letting me know my place." She threw her finished cigarette over the roof.

"He always like that?"

"Mostly. In case you haven't noticed women have very specific roles to play in the MC world. Neither of which I aim to be."

He murmured something in agreement.

"He obviously can't have his daughter being some sweet butt or crow eater, wants me to be an Old Lady and settle down. Mainly I think he's pissed I've landed on his doorstep again. In his mind I should be someone else's problem by now." She glanced over at Juice. "Y'know I think he was actually happy that I was engaged to Matt. Meant that I was finally off his hands. Real 1950s shit. But mum was not happy with me settling down so far away. Which made his life hell I'm sure. So now I'm back, mum's happy, he's not." She shifted a bit in her seat. "Guess maybe things will look up when I have my own place."

"Guess he's got some pretty fucked up views then huh?"

"In case you haven't noticed I think like 99% of you guys have fucked up views on women in the MC world. Run rules and all the Old Lady bullshit?" She rolled her eyes.

"Not everyone thinks that way."

"You part of that 1% then?"

He chuckled. "Y'know what they say about MCs and 1%ers." He nudged her with his elbow. "I think you don't give me enough credit. I know what I said last night and it was total bull. I honestly don't think that about you. I was just angry. Shouldn't have taken it out on you."

She looked at him for a minute. "I believe you."

"Good." He couldn't help looking at her lips then. They were perfect, looked really plump and soft.

His eyes snapped up to hers only to find she was looking at his lips too. After a second he closed the gap, he just couldn't help it. As their lips moved together she couldn't help but move closer and Juice moved his hand up to cup her neck.

But then she jumped back.

"Uh. I shouldn't have. I'm sorry. I gotta -" she jumped up as if she'd been burned and moved towards the hatch. "That was totally outta line of me. Sorry." She rushed down the stairs.

Juice sat there stunned for a second. Firstly because the kiss was awesome, something he'd wanted to do for the last two weeks. But secondly because he had no clue why she'd run off like that. Apologising. It was him that started the kiss. He looked down watching her hop into her car and take off out the gate.

What the hell?


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: haha I see someone has seen my dislike for Clay. After watching the later seasons I decided I hate him haha. See how we go from here, thanks for the reviews.

"You talk to my sister before?"

Juice sat down next to Jax at the bar.

"Yeah. She's uh, not having a good time I guess."

"Shit. Clay was way hard on her before. I should probably go find her." He started to down the rest of his beer.

Juice panicked a little. He didn't want Jax finding out about the kiss right now. Not until he knew what exactly was going on.

"No offence Jax but maybe this one needs a woman's touch? Maybe call Harley to go see her."

Jax looked at his beer bottle then to Juice. "Yeah maybe you're right. I need to talk to her anyway. Can't believe they all split up and fucking left her there with that sleazeball. Harley knows Roxy ain't smart like them when it comes to this shit." He signalled to Sack to bring him another beer before pulling his phone out. "Meant to say thanks as well for tracking her down last night." He patted Juice on the shoulder.

"Yeah no problems man. What I'm good for."

"How come she's got your number anyways?" Jax smirked and cocked an eyebrow. He hadn't missed the little chats and the way Juice looked at his sister.

Juice was immediately flustered. "Uh. Well. She threw her phone and broke it. So I uh. Fixed it. For her. And she didn't have anyone's numbers so I put them all in. Chibs and everyone."

Jax chuckled, winding up Juice and Half Sack were everyone's favourite past time in the club. They were both as awkward as each other and combined with their eagerness to please they were easy targets.

Jax took pity on him. There were worse people his sister could hook up with. Although Juice was a bit of a man whore with the crow eaters and sweet butts he was honest and Jax could tell he just needed someone. That same loneliness led him to his marriage to Wendy and their current situation. At least Roxy was better for Juice than Wendy ever was for him.

"Relax bro. Appreciate you looking out for her man." He clapped Juice on the shoulder.

"Oh." Juice visibly relaxed. "Yeah any time man."

Jax got up and pulled out his phone. "And hey. If you end up putting the moves on my sister just make sure you're prepared to face Clay." He smirked at Juice's surprised expression, pressed Harley's number, and walked off.

Juice was stunned, looked around to see if anyone else had heard before deciding to head back to his dorm and figure this whole Roxy thing out.

xxx xxx

It had been a week and a half since Roxy and Juice's rooftop kiss and she'd successfully avoided the clubhouse the whole time. Juice had messaged her two days after to see if she was ok and to apologise for kissing her. Roxy insisted it was her mistake and apologised saying she just couldn't get involved with the club right now.

It disappointed her to do so, because Juice was really nice and good looking and that kiss was dreamy. But she couldn't bring herself to get involved. She could see herself really falling for Juice, but she knew what being the woman of an MC member was like. She'd seen the fights her dad would sometimes get into with her mum, she knew he cheated frequently when he was on the road and she knew how submissive her mum was to him despite how strong she was. Roxy didn't want that kind of relationship and it would break her heart if she ended up like that with Juice.

So she resigned herself to distancing herself from the guy who had been plaguing her thoughts.

Sitting down to her coffee and breakfast Roxy let her thoughts drift to the good news she had in the last week. She was successful in joining the social work team at the hospital and would be starting next week as a youth worker and counsellor for youth who had been admitted to the hospital. And on top of that had been successful in getting that apartment too! She would be moving in at the end of next week so she had lots to get before then. She still hadn't received her stuff from Matt nor had she heard from him so she figured she'd have to bite the bullet and just call him again, but Roxy decided to put it off a while longer as the apartment was mostly furnished and all Matt had of hers were just personal effects.

So today she was off with Harley to find some bits for the apartment. Roxy had managed to distract herself most of the week by hanging out with Harley and messing around. She'd even had that dinner with Wendy which went surprisingly well, although she still wasn't 100% sure if she was on the straight and narrow. The one person she was yet to see was Opie, but according to her brother he had been avoiding the club as much as she had since he'd recently been released from Chino.

"Morning baby." Gemma sauntered into the kitchen 100% made up and ready for the day and cast an eye over her daughter's lack of effort.

"Morning Ma." Taking another sip of her coffee Roxy watched her mum pull out a joint and settle in for her morning smoke.

"So, I have a little proposition for you." Gemma smirked from behind her coffee mug.

Roxy groaned and turned her head to her mother. "And what might that be?"

Knowing her mother it could be literally anything.

"Your dad has some Irish associates coming over and the younger guy, Jack, might like some company. Someone to show him round. They don't like associating at the clubhouse and the older two guys have somewhere else to go but we figured it might be nice for him to have someone his own age to hang around."

"Really Ma? You guys want me to play hostess to some Irish gangster?"

"Don't be so dramatic Roxy. He's not a gangster. He's going to take you out for dinner tonight."

"For gods sake." She paused. "Yeah so this is more of an order than a request."

"Whatever way you wanna see it baby. It'll make Clay happy for you to have someone. Someone the club approves of." She emphasised this point in reference to Matt. "Plus I've heard the Irish are good looking and he might be one of the ones moving here permanently."

Sensing she wasn't getting out of this she got up. "Fine. What can one date hurt?"

"That's what I like to hear baby. He's picking you up at 7."

Roxy rolled her eyes and left to get ready for her day of shopping for the apartment.

xxx xxx

Unfortunately that evening came far too fast. Gemma took great pleasure in dressing Roxy up for the night. She was currently standing in her red skater dress paired with some black heels and a black jacket. Gemma helped Roxy curl her hair and supervised her makeup application and now she was ready to go.

When she came down to the living room Clay was standing with a young dirty blond haired guy, who Roxy was assuming was Jack.

After the introductions were made Clay patted him on the shoulder and told the pair to enjoy their evening before he and Gemma retreated to the garage to make their way to the clubhouse.

"So, where are we off to tonight?" She asked.

Jack shyly rubbed the back of his head and Roxy couldn't help but notice his attractive features, green eyes, chiseled jaw and easily styled bed hair. He was wearing some nice dark wash jeans and had a dark blue and black checkered shirt on. As he stretched Roxy could make out a slight bulge on the side of his pants and figured he must be carrying. Roxy didn't know much about the club's business other than their only connection to the Irish was gun running for the IRA. She assumed Jack, being here on business, would have to be on alert most of the time.

"Your da told me about some nice restaurant in Stockton. Figured we'd head over there. I've got me self a car so I've already had a drive round the place."

"Sounds nice. Shall we?" Roxy offered him a polite smile, despite the awkwardness of what was essentially a blind date she was starting to look forward to the night. Jack seemed like a nice guy, good looking and an accent to die for. She couldn't wait to tell Harley about this.

"Ladies first." He held the door open for her and they made their way out to the car.

xxx xxx

Clay and Gemma arrived at the club ready for some drinks and socialising while they waited to see how Roxy's date went. Being a Wednesday night things were quiet but most of the guys were at the clubhouse shooting pool or playing cards.

Clay sat next to Juice and Jax at the bar while Gemma wandered off to see how Tig was going at poker with Chibs and Bobby.

Jax looked around. "No Roxy? Don't tell me she's still moping round the house."

"Nope. Not moping. She's out on a date with Jack. McKeavey's guy."

Jax rolled his eyes. "Really Clay? Y'know the more you two force her on someone the more likely she is to leave again."

Juice didn't want to listen to any more. It's been years since he'd actually liked a chick and now he remembered why he didn't bother. He scanned the room looking at the few sweet butts that were there and figured getting his dick sucked would help take his mind off it.

He excused himself from Jax and Clay and made his way to the dorms signalling to one of the blondes along his way.

Jax noticed Juice's sudden departure and wondered just what the hell went on with him and his sister. Turning back to Clay he asked what Roxy thought of the whole thing.

"She actually seemed quite into it tonight. It's good to get her out the house and with someone who's not an asshat this time. What she saw in that Matt guy I'll never know."

"Saw him as her way outta the club is what I'm thinkin." Jax took another gulp of beer.

"Unfortunately for her there ain't no way she's getting outta the club. It's in her blood as much as yours."

Jax nodded his head, he couldn't disagree with Clay there. Both he and his sister were tied to the club through their fathers and that was not an easy bond to break. Jax just hoped Roxy would end up finding happiness in that bond.

xxx xxx

Surprisingly for Roxy the date had been a success. Jack was actually a decent guy, he had a great sense of humour and they managed to get along like a house on fire. Roxy had been sure to begin with that conversation would be awkward or Jack would in fact be a great deal older than her. But it turns out he was only 29 and that suited Roxy just fine.

"So uh, sorry it's a little bit high school. Y'know dropping me back at my parents door. But I'm finally moving into my apartment next week so I'll feel like an adult again."

Jack chuckled and leaned over to her. "Wouldn't be a high school date if I didn't get a kiss in the driveway."

"God you're smooth." Roxy closed the gap between them. "I suppose I can manage that."

Roxy felt his lips on hers, soft and inviting and figured she'd throw caution to the wind and pulled him in closer. She let her hand rest on his thigh as he pulled a hand into her hair and slid the other down her arm to her waist.

After their brief make out session Roxy excused herself and said good night. Although she kind of wanted to she thought it might be a bit much to invite him inside, especially as she didn't know when her parents would be back.

xxx xxx

Friday night was to be a family dinner at the Teller Morrow household and Roxy could not be any less pleased if she tried. Family dinner meant all the guys from the club would be there. Including Juice, whom she'd successfully avoided for the last 2 weeks.

However there was no hope she was getting out of this one as her mum declared it was to celebrate Roxy's new job and had also kindly thought to invite Jack to come along too. Because, you know, nothing would make things any more awkward than waving this guy right under Juice's nose after she'd basically just told him she wasn't looking for anything. God he was going to hate her.

Roxy smoothed the loose, silk, burgundy top over and fixed her hair. Jack had messaged not long ago saying he was on his way so she figured she had best make herself presentable and head down to the kitchen.

Luann, Harley and a couple of crow eaters were busy helping Gemma in the kitchen so Roxy set about helping with the potato salad. Tonight was chops with all the trimmings.

"So, sexy Irishman is coming by tonight is he?" Harley sidled up to Roxy with two glasses of wine.

"Yes he is. Not at my request though."

"As if you're disappointed."

"I guess I'm not." Roxy smirked.

"Well it's good to see you enjoying yourself. Especially after I stuffed it up the other weekend."

"Stop stressing about it Harley. It was as much my stupid fault as anyone else's." Roxy patted her friend's arm and moved to answer the doorbell figuring it must be Jack given the rest of the guys would just saunter in.

Jack gave her a wide grin as she opened the door. It reminded her of Juice's but it didn't reach his eyes quite the same way. She moved to let him in but he stopped to give her a quick kiss before moving past. Roxy could swear she was blushing but she gestured towards the dining room where Clay was sitting and made her way back to the kitchen.

They were just finished serving up the good when they could hear the rambunctious noise that was Chibs, Tig, Bobby, Jax, Piney, Happy and Juice make their way inside. Clay introduced Jack to everyone and the two crow eaters got everyone beers.

When they were all seated the ladies brought the food through and the guys started helping themselves.

Roxy was sitting between Gemma and Jack across from Jax, Chibbs, Bobby, and at the end Juice. She could feel him looking at her but didn't want to meet his gaze.

Jack managed to keep her attention most of the night and between joking with Chibs and chatting to Jax he slipped his hand on her thigh. Roxy was taken aback at first with the casual touching but by the end of dinner she was at ease with the gesture. She slowly rubbed her foot against his leg and he tightened his grip on her thigh and moved his hand slightly higher.

Ignoring the glare she was receiving from Juice, Roxy played in to the touch and openly flirted with Jack as everyone got up to have a smoke and sit in the living room. Roxy kind of felt bad for flaunting this in front of Juice. But she knew that Jack was the safer bet. And at the end of the day she'd only known Juice for a month he couldn't be in that deep for her. She had to stop flattering herself.

Everyone else had made their way to the lounge room but Roxy pulled Jack's arm and gestured to the back deck.

"Kinda hard to get a moments peace with that lot huh?"

Roxy laughed. "Yeah they're not exactly a quiet bunch." She offered him a smoke which he accepted.

They joked and laughed for a couple more minutes while they finished their cigarettes before throwing them in the ash tray.

Roxy wasn't sure if it was the wine or her new confident attitude but she turned to Jack and started to kiss him, knowing they'd be out of sight of the others.

Jack ran with the opportunity and turned so they were pinned to the wall. Roxy moaned into the kiss as his hand travelled up her side to cup her breast, softly squeezing as his tongue tangled with hers. She used one hand to grip the back of his head and allowed the other to travel down his back. She could feel him pushing onto her and couldn't help but grind back but knowing they'd have to cool it soon as there was no way she was inviting him up to her room with her parents in the house. She may be an adult but that shit is weird.

They sprung apart when the patio door opened and Juice came out on his cellphone. He'd been wondering where she'd gone but when he had to step out for the call he wished he'd gone round the front so he didn't have to see them pushed up on each other.

Sensing the tension Jack wisely told Roxy he would get them drink refills and meet her back inside.

Roxy was about to follow him but Juice hung up his call and made to intercept her.

"So, how are you?" She tried breaking the tension as she awkwardly attempted to avoid his stare.

Juice scoffed. "Really? Correct me if I'm reading too much into this but we seemed to get along great, had a pretty awesome kiss which made you avoid me for two weeks, you tell me you're not ready for anything and now you're out here with him?" He sulkily folded his arms across his chest as he leant against the railing.

Roxy was a bit taken aback by his response. She had no idea he felt like this. Yeah they kissed but she'd seen him with more sweet butts in the month she'd been here than she cared to count.

"Yes. I'm sorry Juice I didn't mean to like lead you on or anything. I told you the kiss was a mistake and I also told you I couldn't get involved with someone from the MC." She tried to meet his gaze. "It's honestly not you. It's just I don't think I can handle a relationship like my parents and what the MC dictates."

"I already told you I'm not like that." He huffed. "Plus your alternative to the MC is literally to get in bed with the IRA? Coz that'll be so much different."

She rolled her eyes. "Why are we even having this conversation?" She hissed. "Because last time I checked we-" she flicked her hand between the two of them- "weren't in a relationship."

He stood up straight at that. She was right. They weren't in a relationship. Fuck Juice hadn't been in a relationship in years. Not a proper one anyway. He'd briefly dated some chick called Yvonne last year but for all her positive energy he just never could get close enough.

"Yeah you're right. Enjoy being with yet another asshole." He stormed inside and shut the sliding door forcefully behind him.

Roxy stood confused for a second. Why was she arguing with Juice about relationships?

What the hell?


	8. Chapter 8

After her weird conversation with Juice, Roxy did a lot of thinking. She hadn't considered Juice could have developed feelings for her. I mean they hung out a fair amount at the clubhouse and seemed to get along great. But Roxy had just put that down to him being friendly and perhaps wanting to get to know her like the rest of the club did.

Aside from the kiss he'd not given her any signals that he was interested in her for a relationship. I mean in all the days before they'd kissed she'd seen him with crow eaters or sweet butts so what exactly did he expect.

She'd said to him that wasn't the relationship she wanted.

So Roxy decided that she'd focus on Jack. It probably wasn't going to go anywhere but she hadn't come back to settle down to the club life, she'd made a promise to herself that she wouldn't settle for that type of relationship. Roxy had settled for Matt, she thought that was what she wanted, that he could offer her that loving trusting relationship she yearned for. But that was a mistake. A mistake that took 3 years of her life and broke down her personality and self esteem. So she needed to do this for herself, work on building that confidence back up, date around and see what she was really like.

With that new found attitude she embraced the chance and ended up with Jack again on Saturday night. And this time they ended up back at his hotel. She couldn't deny they had a certain chemistry and they did spend an enjoyable night together.

However last night he took her out to celebrate her first day at the hospital and unfortunately had some bad news. He was to go back to Ireland at the end of the week and despite Clay saying he was coming back Jack wasn't so sure. It was kind of disappointing as she did like spending time with him and he did seem genuinely sad about it.

They'd managed to put that aside and had a great evening celebrating Roxy's achievement. It was refreshing to have someone take a genuine interest and care about something she had done. She hadn't experienced that with Matt. Even her graduation was more about him than her, him showing her off than celebrating her.

Tonight was a different story however. Roxy promised Jax she'd pop in on Wendy after work, and what she found wasn't the best. Wendy was out of sorts. Roxy couldn't tell if she was high or not but she was definitely hanging on by a thread. Roxy made her dinner and tried to calm her down but she had a feeling it wouldn't last too long. When she left Wendy had had a bath and was ready for bed. Roxy promised to come back again tomorrow and check on her which Wendy was grateful for, but Roxy had a bone to pick with her brother.

Opening the door to the clubhouse she immediately saw Jax at the bar and made her way over, helping herself to the stool next to him.

"Want a drink Rox?" Sack was, once again, manning the bar. Even though it was a Tuesday night there were patched members kicking around which meant Sack was on hosting duties.

"Yeah double vodka and Coke please." She tapped the bar.

"Coming right up."

Jax cocked an eyebrow at his sister. "Second day at work and already driven to drink?"

"Something like that." She mumbled as she caught Juice's eye across the room.

He was sitting on his usual sofa, a certain blonde sweet butt he seemed to be fond of was currently sucking on his neck while her hand moved down to his pants. Juice was distracted though and soon caught Roxy's gaze before she snapped her eyes back to Jax.

Her brother did not miss the look between the two and when Juice stopped the blonde's hand and moved to get off the sofa he dragged her with him to the dorms.

"What's with that?"

"What's with what?" She answered, grabbing the drink Sack passed her and actively avoiding Jax' knowing gaze.

"You and Juice. What happened there?"

"Absolutely nothing Jax." She huffed and took a long sip of her drink.

"Lotta heavy tension there." He smirked.

"Whatever. I'm not here to talk about what crawled up his ass. I'm here to talk to you about Wendy."

"What's she done now?" Jax firmly grasped his beer and tapped it irritably on the counter.

"I'm not sure. But you needa see her Jax. I don't think she's coping so good on her own."

"Not my problem."

"Uh in case you've forgotten it is your problem. That kid's yours. You're 50% responsible for this situation."

"Whatever. It's none of your business."

He huffed and moved to get up but Roxy grabbed his arm.

"Jax you made it my business when you asked me to check in on her. She's alone over there. She's alone all the time now. She doesn't have you, she doesn't have the club, she doesn't have family. She needs you to show her you still care." He rolled his eyes when she paused. "You're here all the time now, surrounded by women who'd do anything to offer you their companionship. She's not gunna have any man interested in her for a long time. No one wants a single mom with a young kid and the amount of baggage SAMCRO brings. You needa show her she can still rely on you for some things."

Jax stared at his sister for a moment. "Whatever Roxy. From now on keep outta my shit. Don't worry about checkin in on her. Wendy knew what she was getting into its not my problem she can't handle it." He slammed his empty beer on the bar and stalked off to his room.

That went much better than Roxy expected... Not.

xxx xxx

"I know it's only been like a week but I've had fun gettin to know ya. And I'll definitely look forward to seein ya again if I'm sent back here." Jack was desperate to show Roxy he did mean what he was saying.

They were stood at the door inside his hotel room.

He was leaving first thing in the morning and Roxy had come straight after work to say goodbye.

"Yeah I've enjoyed getting to know you as well." She kissed him again. They'd spent most of the night either in his bed or or various other places round the room. Just as they had last night too.

He pulled out of this kiss and rested his forehead on hers. "I sure as hell hope McKeavey asks me back."

"Me too."

He drew her back in for another kiss as she ran her hands down his toned chest. Jack started moving his lips away from hers and down her neck, nipping slightly as he reached her collarbone, smiling against her skin when he heard her breath hitch on a particularly sensitive area. She knew he'd marked her there and that she'd have to be careful what shirt she wore to work tomorrow.

Roxy pulled away this time. "I really gotta go. I have work at 7am and it's already 1:30am."

Jack sighed. "Yer I know." He paused, taking one last look at her bright blue eyes. "Hopefully I'll be seein ya again."

"Hopefully." She gave him one last sweet kiss and left him to pack the rest of his gear.

xxx xxx

Sitting round the table Clay was dishing out orders for the day. The garage was being staffed by the regular mechanics today and it was all hands on deck for club business.

Pretty much all the guys were headed to the warehouse to assemble and organise their latest shipment of guns for the Niners.

All except Half Sack and Juice.

"I know it's bitch work but I promised Gemma I'd send help. Juice you take the prospect and go help set up Roxy's new place. They've got some boxes to move from storage and a couple bits of new furniture that need assembled. Plus I need you to set up some security on her apartment. Don't trust her there alone but she insists." Clay listed out the orders and banged the gavel.

Juice heaved himself out of his chair. He'd much rather be up at the warehouse. The monotonous assembling of guns would be perfect to quiet his mind right now. He was constantly barraged with thoughts about Roxy and this new Irish guy. He had no idea when he started caring so much but it was a similar feeling to the one he got the night he picked Roxy up from that asshole's house in Stockton. The confusion about his feelings was doing nothing to calm his OCD and he was finding himself to be more anxious than normal. He hadn't been to his house in over a fortnight for more than a few minutes. The clubhouse might be noisy and messy at times but it sure beat sitting in the quiet at his house letting his thoughts run wild over the confusion in his mind.

"Prospect. You're with me. Grab the van and follow me to this address." He threw Sack the piece of paper Clay had passed him and made his way to his bike hoping that the day would be over quick.

xxx xxx

The assembly of the furniture had gone quicker than expected and once the boxes were all inside and in their appropriate rooms Gemma left to get dinner sorted for the club tonight. Sack was commanded to follow and ensure everything was ready for later.

Juice, however, was left at Roxy's to finish setting up the security system for Clay. The apartment already had an alarm system but Juice tweaked a few things and had also installed cameras at the front door and the fire door, just in case.

Sitting on her sofa in the lounge Juice was fiddling with the camera settings through his laptop and graciously accepted the beer Roxy brought him over.

"Thanks for your help today."

Juice glanced her over. He luckily hadn't had much one on one time with Roxy today, which he was thankful for. However now she was sitting next to him on the sofa he couldn't help but look her over.

Roxy had her hair tied messily on top of her head, she was all mussed from the sweating she had been doing hauling boxes around all day. At some point in the last 15 minutes she had lost her flannel shirt and was sitting now in just shorts and a white tank top, sucking down a beer before drawing pictures in the condensation on the bottle with her finger.

Juice couldn't help but imagine those fingers dancing across his chest, or further down, but when he noticed the marks on her chest, which were previously hidden by her shirt, those thoughts vanished.

"Don't mention it." He gritted out. "How is it going with the Irish?"

Roxy's grip on her bottle tightened. Juice once again couldn't help but notice how her fingers grapes the bottle and once again couldn't help but imagine the same grip somewhere else on his body.

"Fine." Roxy matched his gruff attitude. "But he's headed back to Ireland for the foreseeable future."

"Not worried about that? I'm sure the IRA got plenty of sweet butts." God he was being an asshole again but he couldn't help it.

Roxy got up, already having enough of the conversation. "We weren't even dating Juice, just keeping each other company. Not that it's any of your business."

She threw her empty beer bottle in the trash can with far more force than necessary. "Like you can talk about sweet butts anyway."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He frowned at her as she shuffled things around the kitchen.

"C'mon. I've seen you with more sweet butts in the month that I've been hear than I've had hot dinners."

"That's not what it's like."

"Whatever dude. I gotta get ready to head to the clubhouse. Do whatever you need and I'll see you there."

Once again Juice found himself thinking

What. The. Hell?I'm


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: this is probably horrific towards the end so I apologise in advance. My first try writing stuff like that so feedback appreciated haha**

Two weeks passed and Roxy was loving her new apartment and the freedom it gave her. Slowly things in Charming were looking up and she had place to call her own.

Jax had mostly avoided her, Gemma said he was just feeling guilty because he knew Roxy was right and Roxy hoped he'd make that up to Wendy sooner rather than later.

Roxy was thoroughly enjoying work. She'd received a lot of training and was mentored by one of the older social workers and was starting to take on her own case load. Mostly she was working with young people who had extended stays in the hospital. She organised appointments for them with psychs and helped them with integrating back into school and she was loving it.

Finally she had bumped in to Opie and Donna down the shops. Jax had said they'd been laying low since he only got out of Chino a month before Roxy moved back. It was good to see them but Roxy sensed Donna was the one putting the brakes on any club involvement. To be honest she didn't really blame her. The club had taken a lot from her and her family with little return.

Things with Juice had been going well for the most part. They'd avoided each other at the clubhouse that night but Roxy did notice the distinct lack of sweet butt action on his part that night. He apologised to her a few days later for being on her case about Jack.

xxx xxx

Juice packed away the computer shit and cleared it off the bar. Things were starting to pick up seeing as it was a Friday night. He'd been working on some stuff for the club and hadn't noticed how late it had gotten.

By the time he'd had a shower and reappeared in the bar it was all kicking off. He looked around and saw Roxy and Harley propped against the bar and fuck he could not stop staring at her. She was wearing those tight, ripped, black skinny jeans again but instead of a loose top she had a tight, low cut, silver tank top on which as she leaned back rode up slightly over her hips. Her long brown hair was loosely curled and hung low over her shoulders.

Juice noticed a couple of the hang arounds making their way over to the pair. He was so glad they'd managed to repair their relationship over the last couple of weeks as he felt the jealousy rose. If anyone was going to be pushing up on Roxy tonight it'd be him.

He reached the two girls just as the hang arounds did. With a pointed glare they re directed and went the other way.

Roxy raised an eyebrow but said nothing. She had a feeling something was going to happen tonight but she didn't want to jinx it.

Roxy couldn't deny the pair had some sort of chemistry, hence the weeks of tension and then the jealousy over Jack. Her confidence was still not all there, she couldn't help but second guess herself when it came to Juice. But Jack had been a bit of a confidence booster and combined with the alcohol and Harley's sweet talking Roxy was going to enjoy herself tonight.

"How's it going Rox?" Juice leant against the bar next to her and took the beer the crow eater bar tending slid his way.

"Not bad. How are you?" She glanced him up and down as she took a sip of her vodka. He was wearing his usual outfit of low slung jeans and a tight black tshirt under his kutte. She couldn't help but bite her lip as she looked him over. Things with Matt hadn't been the best before she left him and so her brief dalliance with Jack had kind of stirred up her sex drive again. These last two weeks making up with Juice had kind of pushed her into over drive. Every time she popped by the garage after work or saw him in the clubhouse she couldn't get him out of her head.

"Same old."

They stood quietly for a moment surveying the scene. The usual girls were working the pole with a couple of the guys watching, some playing pool, a few Cara Cara girls were milling around looking for someone with a patch. The doors the yard were open and they could smell the grill going and hear the noise of cheering from the ring.

When Roxy looked back Harley had gone, probably to find her own entertainment for the evening. Harley couldn't stand to be around the pair any longer. She just wish they'd hurry up and fuck and get it over with. But last time she suggested that to Roxy she copped attitude.

"Wanna go outside and see the fight?"

"Sure." She gave him a small smile and with his hand on her back she moved through the clubhouse to the lot.

When they got outside Juice moved to one of the abandoned picnic tables near the back of the crowd. He pulled out a couple of smokes, lit them and passed one over to her.

They smoked in silence, knees rubbing against one another as they watched Tig and one of the mechanics box in the ring. When Bobby broke them up two of the hang arounds took their places while Tig and the mechanic grabbed drinks and hugged it out.

"So."

"So what?" Roxy responded.

"Happy you're settled now?" He looked into her eyes. "Y'know. In the new apartment?"

"Yeah I am. Nice to have a place of my own. I enjoy the quiet. Never had that before."

Juice glanced down at his empty beer bottle. "I fucking hate the quiet."

"That why you stay here instead of your house?" She placed a hand on his thigh.

His eyes snapped to hers. "Yeah. I guess. Nice having people around all the time."

Roxy could feel her heart clench at that. She hadn't realised just how lonely he must feel. She didn't know much about his family but by the sounds of it he'd been alone for a long time.

"How do you know about my house anyways?"

"Oh mum said she'd gotten someone to go round and do your grass the other day. I know she looks after all you guys' houses."

He chuckled and grabbed her hand with his.

"She's too good to us."

They spent a while more talking, casually touching, careful not to let anyone see. But after a while the tension became too much and Juice abruptly stood up, Roxy's hand falling from his upper thigh. She recoiled slightly. Hoping she hadn't read the signals wrong and embarrassed herself. He grabbed her hand and pulled her round the corner of the clubhouse, checking no one had seen them.

"Juice what-"

He cut her off as he pushed her against the wall and slid his lips over hers. Roxy immediately put her hands behind his head and pulled him closer. Juice groaned at the feeling of her tongue on his. It was so soft and silky, sweet and he could taste the vodka and Coke she'd been downing all night.

He let his hands roam down her sides and slide under the shiny top she was wearing. Her skin was smooth beneath his calloused hands and he could feel her shiver against him and the goosebumps raise in her skin.

Roxy couldn't help it but she moved her lips from his and started nipping his jaw and down to his collarbone as she moved her hands from his neck to run down the front of his body. She could feel his abs tensing under her fingers and smirked when he gripped her waist.

"Rox I want you."

His tone was almost a warning but she slid her lips up to his ear and nibbled the lobe before saying "we'll take me then."

He briefly looked into her eyes before pulling her round to the back door, he unlocked it and led them down the dorm corridor to his room. He quickly unlocked the door and dragged her inside before pushing her against the door.

Their kisses were hot and hurried now, teeth grazing and breath panting.

"You sure about this? I kinda wanted our first time to be a bit more special."

Roxy cocked an eyebrow and pulled back from him, her hands still locked firmly round his neck.

"Our first time? Who says there's gunna be a second time Ortiz?"

Juice grinned at her response before moving his lips back to her neck. "Oh baby you'll be begging for a second time."

She left out a soft chuckle which turned into a moan as he bit down on her neck.

"Someone's a little cocky." She breathed out on a laugh.

He pulled one of her hands from his neck and ran it down his body towards the bulge in his pants.

"Who said anything about little?" He murmured against her neck.

Roxy let out another soft laugh. "Ok you win."

She pushed off the door and walked him to his bed as their hands roamed each other's bodies. Neither had bothered to turn a light on so Roxy was relying on Juice to find his bed. Luckily she felt his knees buckle as he hit the edge of his bed and she straddled his lap.

Juice made short work of her singlet and pushed the cups of her bra down to free her breasts. Roxy couldn't help the moan that escaped when he let his tongue trail across her chest or that her hips bucked against his, grinding into his lap.

After a few moments she reluctantly pulled away and stood up to drop her pants and pull off his shirt. Roxy wished the light was on so she could see his perfect chest again but she was cut out of her thoughts when Juice unbuttoned her pants and slid them down her legs. He quickly stood up and switched places with her, pulling off his own pants and pushing her down on to the bed.

The friction between the two was getting to be too much for Roxy and she slid her hands under Juice's boxers grip him. Juice let out a muffled groan against her breast.

"Fuck Juice. I need you now." She gasped out. Harley hadn't been lying when she talked about how well endowed she heard he was. Just the feeling of him hot and heavy in her hand was killing her.

Juice didn't have to be told twice. He sat up on his knees and pulled her panties down, sneakily reaching up to hide them under his pillow hoping she wouldn't notice.

Roxy moaned as he slid his hand up her thigh and moved it against her.

"Fuck Roxy."

"Told you I needed you."

He reluctantly pulled his hand away and rolled off her to his bedside table. He quickly turned the lamp on and fumbled for his stash of condoms. Finally pulling one out he lay on his back and ripped it open. Roxy was kissing his neck, legs tangled in his, one hand rubbing his shaft as he tried to move around her hand to put the condom on. He pulled her hand away and she ran it up her side to her chest, moving her bra slightly.

That was when Juice noticed it. Under her bra was an intricate chandelier tattoo that hung from her bust. He'd never seen anything so delicate, yet sexy. Most of the women he'd been with over the last few years had faded trashy tattoos but this one was fucking perfect.

He traced a finger along the lines and Roxy looked into his face.

"What?"

His eyes snapped to hers. "Just didn't know you had any ink is all." He moved his hand up to her breast kneading slightly before moving back on top of her.

Roxy parted her knees allowing him to come to rest between her thighs. She could feel him against her leg causing her to thrust her hips up towards him.

Juice took the hint and as his tongue traced the lines of her tattoo around her chest he moved into her.

Roxy gasped and gripped hard onto his shoulders. Shocked for a second before relaxing around him.

"God you're so fucking tight."

Roxy moaned and bit into his neck in response.

It didn't take long till both of them were moving together. Roxy had a leg wrapped over his body, drawing him into her deeper while her hands gently scratched down his neck and back.

Juice had not had sex as intense as this in a long time, for once he was focused on the girl beneath him and he was desperate to get her off before he came. Wanting her to enjoy this as much as him. A consideration he rarely had for the sweet butts.

Roxy was in pure ecstasy. Matt had never moved like this, never been passionate or the slightest bit rough unlike Juice who was the perfect combination. He was in control but it felt so good. Jack and her had fun but this was just perfect. Harley had been right about the sexual tension.

Roxy's mind blanked as she reached her peak moaning his name with Juice not far behind her.

After he rolled off her they tried to catch their breath, still touching each other they slowly came down from their high. Juice rolled over the top of Roxy to make his way to the bin and she sat up in the bed putting her bra back to right after he'd gripped it to thrust into her. She cast around looking for her panties but couldn't see them anywhere. She shrugged. Must be under her jeans but she was not ready to get dressed yet.

Juice threw a tshirt to her as he crawled back into bed.

Roxy gratefully pulled it on and made her way to his bathroom to freshen up.

When she got back he was under the covers and motioned for her to join him. Smiling she snuggled into him as he started running his hands along her arm.

"God I've been wanting to do that since you touched my stomach in the van on the way from the airport."

He chuckled at the memory, satisfied he'd finally got her and that he'd hopefully won her over.

Roxy couldn't help the negative thoughts roll through her head. The most prominent being that he now he'd had her he wouldn't want anything more with her.

Juice's movements stilled as he fell into sleep. Roxy however stared at the wall and tried to figure out where the hell to go from here.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: thanks for the awesome feedback. Here goes Season 1**

"Juicey boy! Wake up!" Juice jumped at the banging on his door. Looking around he noticed he was in bed alone.

Panicking he wondered if last night was some dream. He pushed his hand under his pillow, pulling out Roxy's lacy black panties. He ran them through his fingers and looked over at the clock. 7am. She must have run out early.

Glancing around his room nothing was out of place except for his clothes littering the floor. There was no sign Roxy had been there except for her panties.

Wondering what the hell happened he quickly showered and got himself ready for whatever was going on in the clubhouse.

xxx xxx

Roxy slept off her night at Harley's. By the time she was sure Juice was out cold it was the early hours of the morning. Probably best she snuck out before any of the other guys woke up. The last thing she needed on top of her confusion was doing the walk of shame from the dorms in front of her brother or one of the others.

"So you gunna tell me what happened now I'm sober?" Harley walked back in the room with two cups of coffee.

"I don't know what happened." Roxy graciously accepted the mug and shrugged her shoulders.

"Come off it. You come in here at 4am, climb into my bed and refuse to tell me what got you so worked up. I need details." She surveyed her friend and narrowed her eyes. "Did Juice do something?"

"Yes. No. I don't know."

"Roxy..." She warned. "If he fucking did anything to you last night I'll castrate him."

"No no. God no nothing like that. Ugh." She sighed. Resigned to telling her friend how she really feels. "After you left us we were getting along great. He was pretty sweet and we talked about all sortsa shit. Next thing we're making out round the side of the clubhouse."

"I knew it!" Harley interrupted.

"Yeah. It was great I guess."

"So what's with the moping?"

"I'm not moping." She scowled. "Why does everyone always say that?"

"Because you do. Anyways. Spill. What happened next?"

"We went back to his dorm-"

"Yeah you did!"

"You gunna let me tell this story or not?" Harley zipped her lips. "So yeah we ended up in his dorm. You know what happens next and then-"

Harley interrupted yet again. "So what was it like?"

Roxy rolled her eyes. "Fucking amazing."

"So what's the problem then? Why'd you run out on him?"

"Well after he tells me that he'd been wanting to do that since he first picked me up." Roxy hung her head and stared into her coffee cup.

Harley watched, waiting for her to elaborate. When she realised she wasn't going to get anything she asked "so?"

"So? He's had me now. That's it. We've had sex he'll move on and we're done."

It was Harley's turn to roll her eyes now. "Roxy you don't know that. He's practically pined after you for the last two months. He's not gunna give up now."

"Yeah he did 'pine' after me. And he got what he wanted."

"Roxy. Babe. You gotta realise what a catch you are. You don't know what he wants so ask him. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised."

"Yeah maybe."

"You deserve to be happy babe. I think Juice might be good at that. You had a good time last night yeah? And he did too I'm sure. So who says it has to end there. He'd be fucking stupid to let you go."

"And if it's just sex he wants? Which chances are it is, then what do I do? I don't want that. I don't want to end up like my mom or Wendy. Constantly run out on. Just there to look good and suck dick."

"Nah I've watched that guy the last few years. He's not the same as the rest of them. Trust me."

"Sure. We'll see."

xxx xxx

Roxy hung around Harley's a bit more until Gemma called and told her to meet her at the hospital. Apparently Wendy had ODd.

Roxy knew something like this was gunna happen. But she couldn't tell Jax I told you so. No matter what she knew he'd never want this to happen.

By the time Roxy got there Jax had been and gone and so Roxy stayed with her mum and Clay waiting to hear what the next steps would be.

Apparently Wendy's OD had triggered early labour and they had to do an emergency C Section. Poor Abel was born 10 weeks early and he had their genetic Congenital Heart Defect combined with some other medical problem she didn't understand. Poor kid was going to need two operations. Both quite serious but combined almost life threatening.

Roxy couldn't take the waiting around and decided to go see Wendy.

Although she was out of it Roxy held her hand and said a quiet prayer for her. She knew Wendy had to be hurting. Hell she would never have done all this if she wasn't hurting in the first place.

By the time she came back from Wendy's room her mum and Clay had gone. Exhausted from the her thoughts of the day and just wanting to spend some time with her mum she decided to head to the clubhouse. Although she'd told Juice she liked her peace and quiet times like this called for family.

xxx xxx

By the time Roxy made it to the lot it was packed and she had a hard time finding a car park.

Hoping she wouldn't bump into Juice, Roxy scanned the lot for her mum or dad. Spotting Clay over with Jax by the boxing ring she jogged over.

"Hey Jax. I'm real sorry about Abel." She interrupted the guys giving her brother a hug.

Jax dropped a kiss to her head. "Thanks Rox." He looked down at her. "Guess I probably shoulda listened to you earlier."

"Hey you weren't to know this would happen."

He shrugged and turned back to Clay.

"Sorry to interrupt guys but dad have you seen mom? She here?"

"Bobby break that shit up." He gestured to Happy and Tig. "Nah baby. I got no clue where she is. She's not here though. Give her a ring."

"Alright. See you later." She gave her dad a quick smile and squeezed Chibs' arm as she made her way back to the car.

Just as she was about to reach her car door Roxy felt a hand on her arm. Turning around she came face to face with Juice. After all the mess with their warehouse being blown up Juice was eager to see her and discuss last night.

"Hey how are you?"

Roxy shrugged. "Ok I guess. Been a tough day." She avoided his gaze as best she could.

"Rox? What happened this morning? I woke up and you were gone."

"I figured I should get out of there before I had to do the walk of shame in front of my brother and half the MC."

Juice dropped his hand from her arm. "Walk of shame huh?"

"That's not what I meant."

"Nah I feel ya. Last night was pretty fucking perfect. Just thought you might have wanted to hang out or something." He turned away. "Guess I was wrong."

Roxy groaned. How'd she manage to fuck this up.

"Juice?" She called after him.

He just waved her off and headed back to the clubhouse to drown his sorrows.

xxx xxx

Juice spent most of Sunday neck deep hacking databases and other shit trying to find where the Mayans were hiding the guns they'd stolen from their assembly warehouse.

Despite how peaceful hacking usually made him Juice was on edge. He thought he actually had a shot with Roxy, what a fucking idiot. She deserved better than him and she knew it. Last night was fun but at the end of the day he was just the club idiot. The guy everyone ragged on. As if he could get with the President's daughter.

Eventually Juice found what he was looking for and the guys set up their plan for retrieval. Juice was to tag along which meant he had to get his head in the game.

xxx xxx

Roxy was sitting in her apartment, feet up on the coffee table and wine in her hand. It was late and she had work in the morning. She'd spent most of her Sunday at the hospital with her mom and Luann waiting on news about Abel. It was emotionally draining and combined with how crappy she felt about Juice she couldn't sleep.

Few seconds later there was a knock at her door. She looked over at the clock in the kitchen, noting that it was close to midnight. Sighing she got up, closed her dressing gown and looked through the peep hole.

She was surprised to see Juice standing, fidgeting slightly with a black beanie covering his head.

Roxy wondered what the hell was going on as she opened the door. "Juice? What's going on?"

"Can I come in?"

"Yeah yeah of course." She stepped back letting him in. Juice paced a little bit, unsure where to go. "You realise it's almost midnight?"

He snapped his head to look at her. "Yeah I'm sorry. I can go if you like. This was probably a stupid time to come."

He moved to walk past her but Roxy grabbed his arm and pushed him to the sofa.

"Don't stress. I was just having some wine. Want a beer?"

"Yeah sure."

Handing him the beer she plopped back down on the sofa and looked him over. He was still fidgeting and seemed to be a bit on edge.

"What's got you all worked up?"

"Just adrenaline I guess. Hectic night."

"Club shit?"

"Yeah. Bit of a retrieval operation. Wasn't quite what I had thought it would be." He took a long gulp of his beer. "Sorry about last night. I probably over reacted a bit."

"No. You didn't. I did kinda run out on you yesterday morning." She looked him over as he shrugged. Paying attention to his beer, not wanting to look into her eyes.

"It wasn't because I was ashamed of sleeping with you. It was partly because I didn't want the guys to know I was back there and make a big deal about it. But mainly I thought you'd not want anything more to do with me."

He finally locked his eyes on hers. "Why the hell would you think that?"

She shrugged. "You mentioned wanting to do that since you picked me up. I just figured now it was done that'd be it."

Juice turned his body to face her and pulled her into a kiss. A few breathless moments later he pulled back.

"Like I said last night. Our first time. Meaning I want many more to come."

Roxy smiled against his lips and pulled him back for another kiss. She was still a bit vague on what it was he actually wanted. But after Friday night's performance she figured she could have some fun finding out for now.

Juice was slightly more hurried tonight. The adrenaline still pumping through his veins combined with his relief at being on good terms with Roxy made him desperate to have her again. He pulled her on top of him so she straddled his thighs and pulled off her dressing gown. Excited to see her properly this time.


	11. Chapter 11

Roxy woke up to her alarm, still knackered from the night before. After their messing around on the sofa Juice stayed the night which many she didn't get to sleep until 2am.

It was now 7 and she had to be at work in an hour.

Slowly rolling out of bed, trying not to disturb Juice Roxy went to go and make some coffee.

She brought the mugs back to her room, giggling slightly at the sight of Juice half in half out her bed, snoring like a freight train.

Just as she put the coffee cup down his phone started ringing. Juice jumped up, trained to wake at the sound of his phone.

He smiled at Roxy as he groggily answered. Roxy set about getting her clothes ready for the day, trying not to listen in to his conversation.

"Shit." He hung up and started pulling his jeans on.

"Ok?" Roxy was walking to the ensuite with her clothes for the day.

"Yeah just club shit. Warehouse that blew up? Hale's got a warrant. I gotta go."

Roxy rolled her eyes. "Good luck with that. Want a shower before you go?"

"Nah I'll grab one at the clubhouse. Got fresh clothes there too." He walked over to her, placed his hands on her shoulders and have her a quick kiss. "See you again tonight?"

"Sure thing."

He gulped down some of his coffee. "Thanks babe." Gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and hurried towards the door.

xxx xxx

Roxy rushed into the hospital cafe, her office was on the other side of the campus seeing as it was for outpatients. Due to her distraction in Juice last night and this morning Roxy forgot to pack a lunch.

Almost running into a Dr, Roxy caught her sandwich and apologised profusely for barging through whoever was in her way.

"Roxy?"

"Tara? I heard you were back."

"Yeah, gotta clear out my dads place and sort some stuff there." She looked down at her hands. "What brings you back here? Thought you were living it big in New York?"

"I was. But things just didn't work out. And then I heard Jax was having the baby and I couldn't pass my chance at being an Aunty." She grinned at the last part of her sentence.

"Yeah congratulations Aunt Rox."

"Thanks. Also thanks to you for helping on his case. I heard you were assisting."

Tara smiled. "Yeah I did. Glad to help." She glanced down at her pager. "Ah I gotta go. But we should do lunch some time."

"Yeah for sure. We work in the same place I'm sure we can hook something up."

xxx xxx

Juice's day was certainly one for the books. He was currently at the cemetery helping the guys pull a fat, dead, Mexican out of a fresh grave.

If it wasn't for the humour in watching Half Sack freak out, Juice probably would be panicking slightly too. There was just something so wrong about moving a dead guy from what should have been his final resting place. But he figured it beat actually having to go out and kill the bodies themselves.

Juice's anxiety eased slightly when he was given the job of driving the back up car with Sack instead of the van with the two dead guys inside.

"Dude I tell them I lost it in battle and all they wanna do is wrap their patriotic lips around it."

Juice was trying to concentrate on following Jax and Chibs but Sack was insistent on talking about his junk.

Right now all he could think about was Roxy's full lips wrapped around his dick last night.

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Subtly trying to readjust himself, God he had to stop thinking about her. Easier said than done.

Juice's focus was quickly drawn back to the wheel when some assholes in a sports car almost ran Jax and Chibs off the road.

"Oh shit!"

Luckily nothing happened and Jax managed to keep control of the car.

"Anyways..." Sack continued his conversation about his junk again. "It's so gay shaving down there anyway. Plus it would make it more obvious I'm missing a nut."

"It's not gay. I've been shaving my shit for years."

"It's totally gay."

"Whatever." Juice saw the patrol car before Sack did. And it turned around.

"Shit they must have seen the smashed front end."

Right enough the car pulled over Jax and Chibs. Juice had to think quick. He rammed their car into the back of the patrol car.

"Run Sack!"

Jax and Chibs were quick to cotton on to their plan and soon picked them up in the van.

Thanks to their little detour it took them a hell of a lot longer to plant the diversion bodies than they thought. But the plan seemed to have worked.

Sitting in the car on the way back to the clubhouse Juice messaged Roxy to see if she would meet him at his place. He thought it was only fair seeing as she'd had him in her apartment.

 _Course I'll see you then. Can't wait ;) - Roxy_

Juice smirked as he read her text. He couldn't wait either. Jax had other plans however and they pulled into a gas station seeing the car that had cut them off earlier.

Jax and Chibs went in while Sack and Juice stood guard. But things soon took a turn for the worse and the guys had no clue what the hell happened, by the time Juice and Sack reached the door the asshole who cut them off had an axe in the head... Luckily Chibs grabbed the security tapes and they hightailed it out of there.

xxx xxx

Thankfully Juice made it home in time for Roxy. And managed to have a shower before he heard her knocking on the door.

Pulling his sweat pants up he jogged over to let her in.

"Brought you some dinner." She held up a bag from the Chinese takeaway and made her way inside.

Roxy noticed the shoes at the door and stopped to take hers off and place them neatly next to his boots. Juice was relieved that she did it, he hadn't wanted to ask her but it would have driven him nuts all night if she kept them on.

"This is a nice place." She eyed the living room as he guided her through the open plan to the kitchen and dining table.

"Yeah it's not much. But it's a house that belongs to me." He smiled proudly.

"Hopefully I'm as lucky as you in four years time. Though I don't see that happening. Rent is enough never mind a mortgage."

"Yeah but at least your money's clean."

"S'pose. You gunna give me a tour then?"

"Uh sure. Well as you can see we walked through the living room-" he gestured round the large open space they'd entered into at the front door. The living room was dominated by a massive flat screen television with shelving surrounding it full of various games and DVDs. Under the tv Roxy could see three different gaming consoles and rolled her eyes. The wooden floors seemed to run throughout the house with the living and kitchen areas joined together under an arch. "Down here we got a bathroom and 2 spare rooms, one of em is just full of computer shit. My room" he gestured to the open door, "and ensuite."

Juice's room was just as orderly as his dorm at the clubhouse. Although it looked decidedly less lived in. Then she remembered him saying he didn't like staying here by himself.

"It's lovely." She beamed at him.

"Thanks. I'd show you the outside but I haven't got around to hooking a light up out there yet."

"That's ok. We should probably eat anyways before it gets too cold."

They dished up their dinner and ate in peace for a few minutes.

"So how was your day?" Roxy asked the innocent question as a way of initiating conversation. The silence wasn't awkward but she felt like they should start talking soon.

Juice took a moment to respond. It was the first time in a long, long time anyone had asked him that with genuine interest in his life. He didn't think Roxy understood quite how special that was to him.

"Yeah it was... Interesting you could say." He smirked and grabbed a spring roll.

"Club shit?" She cocked an eyebrow.

"Yeah. I don't think Half Sack enjoyed himself all that much." He stopped for a second. "Question: do you think it's gay that I shave down there?"

Roxy was stunned at first. Where the hell did that come from? But then she snickered and figured she better respond. Juice was a bit socially awkward at times and she had no idea why he thought that was appropriate dinner conversation with a chick. That and it seemed to have no relation to her question about his day.

"Uhh what brings that up? At dinner?"

Juice realised the context and figured he best explain. "Just something Sack said to me in the car today." He looked back at her sheepishly before awkwardly going back to his food.

"Well my answer is no. I don't think it's gay." She put her cutlery down on her empty plate, stood up and walked over to him on the opposite side of the table. "I actually thing it's pretty sexy." She dropped her lips to his ear and ran a hand down his chest. "Especially when I'm sucking your dick."

Juice gulped and stood up. Very aware that the only clothing he had on was his sweat pants. He grabbed Roxy's hand before it got to his pants and pulled her down to his bedroom and closed the door.

Within seconds he had her jumper off and pulled her singlet off after it. Kissing her in between removing items of clothing.

His hands then made a beeline for Roxy's chest, which was currently very prominent in her red push up bra.

Juice pushed her back against the bed before trying to pull her shorts down.

Roxy leant up on her elbows, having to ask him this question before they moved on further.

"Sorry just gotta ask. These sheets clean?"

Juice was confused but backed her up further into the bed now her shorts were off. Not able to take his eyes off her red panties.

"Yeah I guess."

"I mean, like, you haven't had any sweet butts or someone in them?" She looked away. Embarrassed that she had to ask him, but it just creeped her out a bit that she could potentially be sharing his bed with someone.

Juice responded by kissing her neck. "Only woman I've had in my bedroom is your mother."

Roxy pushed him back. "Uh I'm gunna need clarification here." But she lost it laughing at the stunned look on his face.

"Fuck that did not sound right at all." He stuttered for a second. "She was here when the guys moved me in. That's it. I swear. Jesus Christ."

Roxy still couldn't stop laughing.

"God I'm a fucking moron." He sat up on his knees and watched as Roxy tried to calm herself down. "So I'm guessing the first time I've brought a girl to my house and my bedroom has ended. I'm just gunna go bury myself out back."

"Jesus Ortiz calm down." She pulled him back to her, kissing him while still giggling to herself. "You just need to engage that thing between your ears before you open your mouth sometimes."

"Chibs has told me that on many occasions."

"Ok let's stop talking about members of my family now coz I really wanna fuck you and I can't get in the mood while you talk about how many of them you've had in your bedroom." She snickered again before Juice pounced back on her.

xxx xxx

It took them quite a while that night to finally seal the deal because Roxy was in such a giggly mood. But to be honest Juice enjoyed it. They'd spent the night laughing, touching, kissing and talking and he loved every minute of it.

Roxy sped off soon as her alarm went off seeing as she hadn't brought any clothes for work with her leaving Juice to his thoughts.

He wasn't sure what exactly was going to happen with Roxy. But he knew he was starting to develop feelings for her. They hadn't talked at all about their relationship. Whatever it was. But he didn't want to jinx it by asking too soon. He knew Roxy's opinion on MC relationships and although he liked her he wasn't sure if he could commit like that. Juice had been alone for a long time now. Last time he had someone else to consider was his sister and she abandoned him around the same time his mum left. So since the age of 15 he'd only had to look after himself.

It was lonely and he hated it but it would be a hard habit to break.

He stubbed out his smoke and rubbed his hands over the sides of his freshly shaven Mohawk, he figured he could sort his thoughts out at the garage. Nothing like working on an engine to organise your thoughts.

xxx xxx

The idea of having a peaceful day to sort through his thoughts was soon shot down when he arrived at the garage and he was sent along to accompany the guys as they burned the bodies left from the warehouse explosion.

Despite the rather gruesome sight the guys managed to find humour in Tig's misfortune. Just thankful they'd managed to dodge the unfortunate possibility that Tig's DNA would be linked to the two dead women found at the warehouse.

Rolling up to Gemma and Clay's for dinner was nerve wracking. Everyone would be there and he had no idea how to act around Roxy.

Did she want people to know they were together? Were they even together? He had no idea.

When he walked in and sat with the other Roxy brought out some beers. When she handed him his she whispered to him to "be cool" and he breathed out a sigh of relief.

She flashed him a grin before sitting on the opposite side of the table to him. She was wearing the same clothes she must have worn to work but he noticed the undone buttons on her blouse and couldn't help but take a peek at her cleavage. When no one was looking she sent him a wink and turned back to face Tig and chat to him.

When no one was looking he slid his phone out his pocket to shoot her a text.

 _After this you need to grab some clothes and come back to mine. You're staying again. - J_

 _Is that so? - R_

 _Yeah that's so. Either button up that shirt or meet me at mine. You're driving me crazy over here. - J_

 _;) - R_

As if to further wind him up she stretched her arms over her head in a pretend yawn. This only caused her chest to push together more and Juice almost groaned at the sight.

 _I swear to god Rox I'm two fuckin seconds from jumping this table. - J_

 _Don't worry baby. I'll see you at yours. - R_

Roxy stood up now dessert was over. "Sorry Ma but I gotta go. I'm absolutely done in after work."

"Sure thing baby." She kissed her daughter on the cheek and Roxy moved over to kiss Clay's cheek too.

"See you guys."

There were a chorus of goodbyes before Roxy left the house.

By the time she got to her apartment Juice had messaged her again.

 _I'm waiting. - J_

 _I'm coming. Keep your pants on. - R_

 _This ain't gunna be much fun if we're keeping pants on. - J_

She chose to ignore him and grabbed her clothes for the next day.


	12. Chapter 12

Roxy and Juice spent most of the next week together. Mostly Roxy would stay at Juice's so she could hide her car in his garage. Because Roxy's apartment was in the centre of town if one of the guys happened to ride past and spot Juice's bike in the drive it wouldn't take them long to figure out their secret.

Neither had spoken about their relationship, both not wanting to freak the other one out. They didn't know when they decided on keeping it secret but it was for now. They were content just enjoying each other's company.

It was currently Saturday morning, day of the Fun Town carnival and Roxy and Juice were making the most of their free morning. Roxy scraped her nails down Juice's mohawk and gripped her thighs tighter round his waist.

"Harder... Yes! Don't stop."

Juice couldn't help but stare down into her eyes as she bit her lip. He moved his hand over her breast before lowering his head and sucking on the soft flesh. Roxy arched her back up as she came, pushing her chest further into his face. Juice gripped her hard as he reached his own release.

They sorted themselves out and lay back on his sheets panting, trying to catch their breath.

Juice couldn't believe he's spent almost every night of the last week with Roxy, with the same girl, but he was just addicted to her. The two nights they'd spent apart he wished he was in bed with her. But unfortunately club business came first and ruined his fun.

"S'pose we should get ready for the carnival huh? I gotta pick Harley up in an hour." Roxy traced her hand over his abs, tickling him slightly.

Juice grabbed her fingers and stilled them, still too sensitive for the light touch.

"Yeah I said I'd meet the guys there soon."

"Big bad bikers at the carnival." She smirked. "We'll need to sneak off, find somewhere to meet each other. Harley will cover for us."

Juice pulled her in for a kiss. "I'm sure that can be arranged."

xxx xxx

Roxy and Harley pulled up at Fun Town and surveyed the scene. Neither had been since high school, when they'd go every year, and nothing had changed.

"Well my plan is hit the roller coaster and some rides then stuff ourselves with carnie food." Roxy eyed Harley as she pulled her top down slightly. Roxy rolled her eyes at her friend, already on the lookout for hot guys.

"Mm sounds good. Hopefully I'll meet a cutie somewhere tonight. Seeing as you and Juice are all loved up."

Roxy rolled her eyes. "Hardly."

"Still haven't talked about where things are going?"

"No way. Don't wanna freak him out just yet."

"Speaking of. Where is he?"

"Told me he'd meet me behind the toilet block at the rides."

"Oh how romantic." Harley giggled and pulled her friend along. "So I'm not third wheeling. I'll go find something else to do and message ya if anyone asks for you. Lyla's here with her kid so I'm gunna meet up with them for a while."

"Ok. Thanks, I'll meet up with you soon."

The girls parted ways and Roxy slid round the back of the toilets, luckily it was well hidden by the backs of rides and a couple of demountables.

Soon as she turned the corner she was thrust back against the wall. Juice's hands in her hair as he kissed her.

When they finally broke apart Roxy struggled to catch her breath.

"Jesus babe. It's only been an hour."

"Too long." He kissed her again. Hands roaming her body. He pushed his hips against her ran his hand under her loose top.

Roxy snapped back to reality, might be private here but anyone could walk around the back here and there was no way she was getting caught in the open here.

"Wow dude. Cool it, anyone could see. Let's save it for later."

He groaned and pulled away. Disappointed. "Fine."

She kissed him gently before tugging his arm to pull him round the side.

"Plus banging behind the toilets at the fair ain't exactly my idea of romance." She winked and let go of his arm and made her way out to the rides.

Juice caught up to her, wondering how the hell he was supposed to 'romance' her.

xxx xxx

Juice and Roxy managed to get a couple of hours together. They had to be sneaky to avoid the other guys but it made the whole thing more exciting. Like on the Ferris wheel they had to save their make out for the top rather than the whole way round. Kind of reminded Roxy of high school and having to hide her boyfriends from Jax and the others at Funtown... Well it was exactly like high school then.

Their fun was cut short however when Chibs called Juice to let him know the Irish were ready for their meeting.

They were back behind the toilet block again so they had peace and quiet to say goodbye.

"Won't be able to see you till tomorrow. I'll be at the clubhouse all night for club shit by the sounds of it." He ran his hand down her side and cupped her ass through her denim shorts.

"Well make sure you keep yourself free for me tomorrow." Roxy pulled him back in for another kiss before trailing her lips across his cheek to his ear. "Not going to be able to last much more than a day."

Juice groaned. "Yeah me either. I'll see you then babe."

He quickly kissed her before running off to find Clay.

xxx xxx

Roxy spent the rest of the afternoon with Harley well into the evening. They eventually met up with Gemma and had dinner at one of the booths. They were just about to leave when they saw Karen Oswald, frantic and yelling for her daughter. The three women swiftly joined the search party for the missing girl and spent the rest of their night looking.

Juice on the other hand was livid. He was assembling the guns in the clubhouse listening in while Clay talked to McKeavey.

Turns out Jack was with him and McKeavey said he was eager to meet up with Roxy again.

Clay said he'd pass on the number to Roxy and they finished up their meeting.

Juice didn't know what to feel about the whole thing. He was jealous beyond belief but at the same time he had no claim over her. In fact if anyone did it would be Jack. They were 'together' first, if you could call it that, and the only reason she ended up with Juice is because Jack left. Too stubborn to bring up the relationship conversation with Roxy, Juice resigned himself to leaving the ball in her court.

xxx xxx

Roxy was called in to work the next day. She wouldn't usually work a Sunday but apparently they needed her to work with Tristan Oswald. Turns out she was attacked and raped at Funtown and her department thought Roxy would be the most suitable to work with her.

Pulling on her work clothes Roxy rushed out the door. Anxious for what her day would likely bring.

After briefly meeting with Tristan and her parents Roxy was on edge. This was the most difficult of all her clients and she'd never worked with a rape victim before. Although her mentor would be around to help her, answer questions and offer guidance she was going to be on her own with Tristan for the most part and that was daunting.

Roxy had bumped into Tara earlier in the day and she offered to catch up for lunch. Roxy knew Tara had seen Tristan a couple of times so she was keen to ask for some advice.

Although Tara had abandoned Jax and broken his heart Roxy didn't hold hard feelings there, unlike her mum. Yeah Tara had really broken Jax but Tara needed to do the move for herself. Roxy 100% understood why Tara had to leave despite her ties to Jax. That's why she was so worried about her relationship with Juice. She would always be second to his relationship with the club and the club dictated a certain lifestyle. Although Roxy had been around that lifestyle since she was born she was unsure if it was something she could continue for the rest of her life.

"So you're working with Tristan then?"

Roxy sipped some of her juice. "Yeah. I'm a bit worried it's the hardest client I've had I have no idea how to approach it. I mean I've read some stuff and worked through it at college but I have no idea what to do in reality."

Tara grabbed Roxy's hand sensing the younger woman's anxiety. "You'll do great Roxy. It's not some procedure you have to follow to the book. You have an amazing personality and relaxing presence. Just focus on building that relationship and the rest will follow. Don't over think it."

Roxy offered her a smile in thanks. "Thanks doc. I'll keep that in mind."

They chatted comfortably about their time away but Roxy could sense there was something else on Tara's mind. Before she could ask though Tara answered Roxy's question.

"I know this might be a bit of an intrusive question but do you think your mum had anything to do with Wendy's 'overdose'?" Tara shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

Roxy was floored slightly. She hadn't considered it. "I hope not. But between you and me? I honestly wouldn't put it past her." She looked up at Tara. "Look I love my Ma but she will do anything, literally anything, to protect Jax. Protect him in a way she thinks is right."

Tara could hear the warning in Roxy's words. "I'm assuming that means with me too?"

"Look I have nothing against you Tara. I know why you moved and I don't hold it against you. Jax is a big boy he can't always get what he wants. But my mum doesn't see it that way. So just be careful. You know what she's like. She won't stop till she gets things the way she wants them."

Tara nodded. "I know. And I honestly didn't come back here for Jax. I mean I still care about him, I always will. But we are very different people now. Jax had a kid for gods sake. I'm not here to upset the balance."

"I understand. Just take it easy is all." Roxy glanced at her watch. She was due up to have a 1 on 1 with Tristan now so she had better get a move on. "I gotta go. Supposed to be meeting with Tristan now. I'll see you later?"

"Yeah, thanks for the company." Tara smiled and collected their rubbish.

Roxy was not looking forward to this appointment. The only thing getting her through was the promise of dinner at the diner with Juice tonight. Not the most romantic but meant they could spend some time together in public without it being obvious they were together.

xxx xxx

Up outside Tristan's room Roxy was having difficulty getting past her mum. Karen was reluctant to let anyone talk specifics with her daughter and to be honest Roxy didn't blame her.

"I can understand where you're coming from. However Tristan needs to be able to process this and that's what I'm here for. I can arrange psych appointments if she needs it or any other support you as a family want. But I need to be able to talk to her. There's going to be some difficult times coming up for her soon, like going back to school. And I can offer her support, but without being able to build a relationship with her it's not going to work."

Karen studied Roxy for a minute. "Fine. But please just be careful she's been through a lot."

"I know. And I'll let her lead the way."

xxx xxx

By the time Roxy was finished with Tristan she was desperate for a smoke. She had managed to strike up a conversation with the girl and they'd managed to build a bit of a relationship. So that was hopeful. Roxy just hoped she could offer the support that was needed.

As she left Tristan's room she let out a sigh and left for a cigarette. Outside the hospital she bumped into Gemma, Clay, Tig and Bobby.

"How'd you go with Tristan baby?" Gemma stroked her daughter's back as she lit up a smoke.

Exhaling the calming smoke Roxy shrugged. "Not gunna lie that was fucking tough."

"She tell you who did it?" Clay eyed his daughter.

"I can't tell you anything. What we do is confidential." Roxy took another drag.

"The club is looking for the guy. We are gunna get him. Don't you want to help?"

"Dad it's not a case of not wanting to help. I can't."

"The club needs to know."

"Yeah but I need to keep my job."

Clay started to get angry with his daughter. "The club-"

"I don't care what the club wants right now! This girl is traumatised and I've been trusted with her. I'm not going to wreck that. The club can figure it's own shit out. It's not my problem." Roxy threw her butt on the ground and moved past the group back towards the hospital.

"Roxanna!" Clay was raging now. Ready to storm after his daughter but Tig pulled him back.

"Leave it man." He patted Clay's shoulder.

"How dare she."

"She's not a member Clay. We can't expect her to put herself on the line for us."

Clay sighed. Relaxing. "Guess you're right."

He turned to give his conflicted wife a kiss.

"C'mon we gotta get to Darby's guy."

xxx xxx

Roxy had a couple of wines when she got home. She hadn't received any response from Juice when she messaged him. But their plan was to meet at the diner at 7 so she figured she'd just head there anyway.

It wasn't a date, just a convenient place for them to have dinner but Roxy made an effort to dress up for Juice.

Given it was just the diner she went for casual light was jeans and a burgundy silk top. But she'd worn some of her sexier lingerie just for him.

Sitting in the diner for a while, thinking over her day, Roxy was becoming more anxious. Still no response from Juice or explanation of his absence. So Roxy tried calling him but no answer.

Sighing she put her phone back on the table. It was only 7:20 so she figured it could just be club business. By 7:30 she'd still not had a response or any inkling as to where he was.

Giving up Roxy decided to call Jax just in case something was wrong.

"Hey sis everything ok?"

Roxy could hear the muffled sounds of the clubhouse in the background, some whooping and music.

"Yeah just seeing what's happening. Kinda bored sitting around. Had a rough day."

"Yeah I heard about Clay pushing you for info. Sorry about that."

"It's ok. What are you guys up to?"

"Nothin much just celebrating."

"All the guys there?"

"Yeah you're welcome to come over if you want?"

"Maybe. I'll see how I feel when I get in." Roxy was disheartened. Convinced that Juice was 'celebrating' with the guys, blowing her off and not answering her calls. She could only imagine the sweet butts and crow eaters crawling all over him.

"Ok. Well you're always welcome to come round."

"Yeah thanks Jax."

"Oh and I made it right with Wendy. Took your advice. I know it was late but it was right."

Roxy smiled. Proud of her brother for supporting Wendy despite everything. "Good on you Jax."

"She deserved it. I treated her like shit. Just as much my responsibility as hers. I never gave her the crank but I pushed her in the right direction."

"Well it's over now. Abel will be fine soon."

"Yeah. Night Rox."

"Night."

Happy with her brother she hung up, but she was ready to cry over this issue with Juice.

She was stupid to think it was anything serious with Juice. As if she could just magically change his lifestyle. She knew it was too good to be true for him to be interested in her for anything more than sex. Worst thing is Roxy knew this would happen. She knew she'd fall for him and that he would break her heart. Roxy was not cut out for the MC life, despite how deep it ran in her veins.

Just as she was about to pack up and throw in the towel a guy stopped in front of her table.

"Fancy seeing you here."

Roxy's eyes snapped up at the Irish brogue.

"Jack? What the hell are you doing here?"

Jack motioned to an older Irishman behind him at the counter.

"Back for business. Got in yesterday." He motioned to the seat across from her. "This seat taken?"

"Not anymore. Have at it."


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: hope you're all still enjoying the direction of the story!**

Roxy struggled through the next day at work. Most of her time was taken up with stressing over Tristan and what she needed to do. The rest of her time was filled with moping about Juice.

Roxy had finally admitted she did mope and embraced it.

Things with Jack last night didn't go anywhere. They had dinner, which was good company for Roxy, but when Jack asked her back to his hotel she politely declined. He was disappointed but gave her his current burner number and told her he'd be around for a couple weeks while McKeavey went up north.

When Roxy checked her phone at lunch she had 2 missed calls from Juice and a text asking her if she'd call him back. No explanation. Just what she was assuming were booty calls.

xxx xxx

Juice felt like the biggest idiot on the planet. He'd woken up that morning outside the police station in nothing but a nappy and his boots with a stupid sign stapled to his desk.

He knew he'd fucked up by messing up the AKs for Clay and he compounded that by missing dinner with Roxy. He fully understood why the rest of the guys treated him like a retard. He'd only proved it by taking those pills yesterday.

So today he was eager to prove his worth which meant he had to focus. And focus he did, except for the few times he called Roxy. Fuck he had to see her, he figured she was dodging his calls and knowing that Jack was hanging around he had to sort this shit.

"So I want you and Juice to drive the barrels up to Nevada."

Fuck. It was as if Clay knew and was trying to fuck up his chances. He couldn't go away on a run now and leave Roxy here with Jack sniffing around. He had to see her before he left.

xxx xxx

Gemma had asked Roxy to stop by TM after work to grab some stuff. But when she got there the office was shut and there were only 2 bikes on the lot. So Roxy made her way into the clubhouse to see what was going on.

She grit her teeth when she walked in and saw Tig and Juice sitting at the bar.

The crow eater behind the bar spotted her and said hello which meant she had to go over and socialise. Juice's face lit up but she avoided his eye contact and sat down next to Tig.

"Hey baby doll. What brings you round?" Tig slung his arm over her shoulder and pulled her in for a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Ma told me to come by here but she's not here. Where is everyone?"

"On a run up to Nevada. Devil's Tribe." Tig seemed very disappointed.

"Not you?"

"Yeah. Just later. Me n Juice are doing some transport." He sulkily swallowed some of his beer.

"You don't sound too happy."

"Missing the patch over party." He groaned. "You have no idea on the pussy me n Juice are missing out on."

Roxy snorted. "Oh I know. They run some strippers and prostitutes up there. I know exactly what you're missing out on." She rolled her eyes as Tig downed some more of his beer.

Juice was trying to catch her attention but it was hard with Tig in between them.

Roxy got up, ready to leave. Knowing that Juice would be spending a day or so in what was essentially a brothel. If he couldn't keep it in his pants last night she knew he couldn't at the Devil's Tribe Clubhouse.

"Well Tiggy I'm heading home seeing as there's no one here." She ignored Juice's huff. "I'm sure they'll save you some whores for when you get there." She pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Enjoy your leftovers." She winked. Enjoying taking a rise out of his misery. He was such a drama queen about missing out.

As she got into her car she got a text message.

Ignoring me? Can we talk? - J

Roxy rolled her eyes and threw her phone back in her bag and pulled out of the lot.

xxx xxx

Juice had an hour till he had to get Tig. He excused himself from the clubhouse after Roxy left, saying he had to sort stuff out at his house. But he was really on his way to Roxy's apartment.

Knocking on the door he waited anxiously for her to open it. He had no idea what was going through her mind but it couldn't be good if she was ignoring him.

"What?" She opened the door in her dressing gown with a glass of wine.

"Can I come in? We needa talk." He pleaded.

"Juice I've had a long two days at work. I just want to drink my wine in peace and try shut off the crap in my head."

She tried to shut the door but he put his boot in the way.

Glaring at him Roxy realised she wasn't getting out of this so she spun on her heel and stormed back into her living room.

Juice followed her, starting to get pissed with her attitude.

"Uh I don't know what's with the attitude Roxy. So I missed out on dinner. I tried to apologise what's the big deal? Not like I stood you up on a date or something."

"No I get it. Was just dinner yeah? So who cares that I sat there like an asshole for half an hour till I was saved, with no contact, while you partied it up with the guys at the clubhouse." She shrugged. "I get what this is to you. It's ok. I'll deal."

He could see her eyes getting glassy and moved to sit next to her on the sofa. Roxy didn't look at him, just stared into her wine glass and tried to divert her tears.

"Roxy. Babe. That's not what happened." He grabbed her hand. But she still wouldn't look at him.

"Juice you don't have to clarify." She finally looked up at him. "I know what it's like for you guys. All the boys are there, the pressures on and the girls are free. If you wanna party you party. It's not like we're together." She sighed. "I'm not mad at you or anything. I've just had a shit couple of days and I was looking forward to seeing you last night."

Juice squeezed her hand. "That makes what I'm about to tell you make me seem like more of an asshole. I didn't skip out on you last night for some party. I fucked up some club shit yesterday afternoon. I took some of these pills Tig gave me. Woke up this morning in nothing but a diaper and my boots with this fucking sign stapled to my chest that said 'slightly retarded baby. Please adopt me'. I had to walk back from the cop station all the way to the garage like an looking like an asshole. Apparently it was my payback for fucking up the one job I had yesterday." He pulled Roxy's hand closer. "I promise you I didn't stand you up for a party at the clubhouse."

"I see." Roxy leant over and put her wine glass on the coffee table. "Sorry I didn't answer your calls. I got in my head and convinced myself you were just looking for a booty call."

Juice groaned. "I'm not gunna lie Roxy, you're fucking hot and you drive me crazy but that's not all this is about. I don't know shit about relationships but I know this isn't just sex."

Roxy gave him a watery smile.

"So what do you mean when you said someone saved you last night?" He had a feeling he already knew the answer.

"Well Jack is back in town and him and McKeavey came into the diner for dinner."

Juice huffed. "So what happened? How did he 'save' you?" He let go of her hand.

"We had dinner. I was upset because of work, and thinking you bailed on me. So he cheered me up."

Juice still didn't like this answer. "How did he cheer you up?"

"Nothing like what you're thinking. I swear. He did invite me back to his hotel-" Juice clenched his fists "but I said no."

Juice rubbed his hands over his mohawk. "Ok."

"Do you not trust me?"

He sighed. "It's not that it's just you guys have that whole thing before he left. It's not like you weren't seeing each other coz you didn't want to. I heard McKeavey talking about you both. He still wants you and now I'm going and he's gunna be sniffing around."

"Well you're going away to spend time basically in a brothel. I know what goes on on runs if you haven't forgotten. I know what you guys are like."

Juice shifted. "You're asking me if I trust you and you keep saying shit like that. Why can't I be trusted? Just coz of the club in automatically an asshole?"

"That's not what I said."

"Well what are you saying?"

"Are we together? Coz if we are you need to know my expectations. I'm in it for you and you only. I expect the same in return. So are we together?"

Juice rubbed his hands on his thighs. This was a loaded question. "I don't know."

Her face fell. "Right." She looked back at the floor.

"Not because I don't care about you Rox. Because I do. But I don't know what I'm doing. And you're right about club life it's a minefield sometimes and they're like the only family I've ever had and I'm a fucking idiot so I'll probably fuck this up at some point."

"I don't think being an idiot is an excuse. You know the difference between right and wrong. You should be able to say no to Tig pushing a sweet butt on you if I'm at home waiting for you."

"I know." He sighed. "I haven't had to think about anyone other than myself basically since I was a teenager. It's been just me. I've only had to worry about me and my feelings. It's been fucking lonely but I just don't know what to do with someone else. I'm not in that mindset."

"In case you haven't noticed I don't exactly have amazing role models when it comes to healthy relationships. But I think we can make this work."

"I want to. But it's hard. I don't wanna live up to those bad expectations you have."

"You deserve to be happy babe. And if you decide you wanna pursue this I'll do everything I can to make that happen. But you've got to want it. And you've got to come to the party for me. Because I deserve that too. And if you feel like you can't give me that it'll break my heart but I'll understand."

"So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying go enjoy Nevada. If you can't stay faithful while you're there for a couple days then you'll know your answer." She shrugged.

Juice looked at their intertwined hands. "I think I want this to work. And it's not like I can't control my dick."

"I'm sure you can. But can you control your ego with the other guys?"

"I'll prove it to you." He looked to the clock. "I gotta go. Supposed to be going with Tig soon." He stood up.

Roxy followed him to the door. Before he opened it he stopped and turned grabbing her for a soft kiss.

"I'm sorry you're having such a shit time at work. We'll talk when I come back." He kissed her again. "Just promise me you won't see Jack? Not till I come back and we figure this out."

She kissed him on the cheek. "I won't. See you in a couple days?"

"Yeah just dropping the truck off. So shouldn't be long."

He squeezed her hand and left.

Roxy locked the door behind him and went back to flop on her sofa. She wanted to have faith in Juice and she was starting to believe him when he said he cared about her but she knew what the guys were like when they were away and peer pressure combined with manhood was a powerful motivator.

Deciding to down the rest of her wine she went for a bath.

xxx xxx

Juice was not enjoying the ride to Nevada. Of course he fucked up again with the dog and as a result Tig got his ass bit and combined with his mood about missing the patch over party he was making for a horrible driving companion. He'd popped some pills to help with the pain and promptly fallen asleep leaving Juice with his thoughts.

He liked to think he could be faithful to Roxy. Since they'd started whatever this was he hadn't been with anyone else. But he couldn't tell if that was because of his feelings or because the opportunity hadn't presented itself. Like he said he could control his dick, he wasn't an animal. But he wanted to fit in with the club, he needed to prove himself on a daily basis with these guys. They already thought he was an idiot, he didn't want them thinking he was a pussy as well.

By the time they got there in the morning the party was well and truly over.

At least he had some more time to work on his feelings then.

xxx xxx

Clay decided he needed Juice to stay behind in Nevada for the week to manage the assembly. The attention to detail and which accompanied his OCD played in his favour when it came to technology and anything that had parts. Like guns and engines. It was one of the things that appealed to Clay when prospecting Juice, along with his hacking skills. It seemed to balance out his social idiocies.

Unfortunately for Juice it meant that he was the one often trusted with assembling which meant the task this week fell to him. And put him in the clubhouse with free range pussy for the next five nights.

This was really going to test this relationship shit.

xxx xxx

Roxy was not happy when she found out Juice was having to stay behind. A couple of nights on a run was one thing but almost a full week away, especially at the Nevada clubhouse was bound to test him to the extreme.

Roxy had managed to avoid Jack the whole week but when he found out about the Taste of Charming festival he insisted on taking her. Roxy had to go help Gemma for a bit anyway so she decided she would talk to him then.

Gemma had her working the booth all day and she was tired. The gossip was keeping her going. She heard all kinds of things hanging around with Harley, Luann and the crow eaters all day.

But then she spotted Kyle. She nudged Jax, who was busy stuffing his face with the SAMCRO chilli.

"What the fucks he doing here?"

Roxy remembered all too well how it went down when Opie was arrested. It was a year or so before she left for college. Although Jax and Ope are 8 years older than her they still shared that whole brother sister kind of bond. It killed Donna having him away for so long and because of Kyle's cowardness Opie's kids missed their dad for a huge chunk of their little lives.

"I don't like it either but club allowed it for his kids' sake."

"Well he won't be getting a warm welcome from me that's for sure."

"Won't be getting one from anyone. He's dead to SAMCRO."

Roxy nodded and moved on with the serving.

Kyle did try to come and talk to her. Flirt with her would have been more accurate but she told him where he could shove it and he soon backed off.

By the time Opie was ready with the fireworks Roxy was more than happy to get going. Unfortunately that's when Jack appeared. Probably hoping for a romantic rendezvous. She was surprised he hadn't shown up earlier in the day but he apparently had some 'business' to take care of.

They moved to the back of the crowd to watch the band and the fireworks and he put his arm around her shoulders in an attempt to pull her in for a kiss, but Roxy pulled back.

"What's wrong babe? Thought you'd be happy to see me again?"

She looked down at her feet before looking back at him. Trying to figure out the right words to say.

"I am but I'm sorry Jack. I've been kind of seeing someone the last couple of weeks and I don't think I can do this." She gestured between them.

"Ah I see." He dropped his hand from her arm. "Can't say I'm not disappointed. But I'll live I guess."

"I am sorry. I did have. A great time when you were here last."

"Me too. But I'm still not permanent here. So best you find someone who is. Then you can be happy."

"Thanks Jack. Sorry to mess you about. I wasn't really sure what to do."

"S'alright lass. Listen I'll be around for a few more weeks so if this guy turns out to be nothin you hit me up." He gave her a quick kiss and left to go find his car.

It was an awkward conversation for Roxy and she could have easily gone back with Jack tonight but she wanted things to work with Juice. And she just hoped he could do the same thing.


	14. Chapter 14

Roxy pulled into the yard the next morning dreading her day stuck around TM. Roxy was supposed to enjoy the weekend after the week she'd had with Tristan and dealing with all that stuff. But of course she had Taste of Charming yesterday and now Gemma wanting her help in the office today.

The only thing keeping her mood slightly elevated was the fact that Juice was coming back from Nevada today. She was excited to see how things would go between them. But worried at the same time. Aside from the odd message Juice hadn't spoken to her much all week which set her on edge.

Gemma was super distracted already, making Roxy's edgy mood worse. Roxy stepped out for a smoke and was sitting on the picnic bench with Jax when Juice finally rocked up. A brief moment of joy swelled inside her. Until she saw the young brunette hop out of the cab.

Roxy almost couldn't believe it. Here she was waiting for him to come back and talk about their relationship, yet he pulls in with some sweet butt. Roxy could only imagine the trip they had from Nevada.

Angrily throwing her butt on the ground she made her way back to the office, shirking his gaze as she went.

Sack exited one door as she entered the other to find her mum crying on the sofa.

"God Ma what happened?"

Gemma pointed to the door. "Nothing. Just need a few. Do you mind?"

"Course."

Roxy went out into the garage and grabbed Sack.

"What the fuck happened to my Ma?"

Sack looked everywhere but in Roxy's eyes. Desperate to be anywhere but here.

"Noth-nothing."

Roxy followed his gaze to the lot where Clay was berating Juice.

"I ain't buying that bullshit. This to do with that sweet butt?"

"Wh-what? No. I dunno."

Roxy let him go.

"Sure. My dad tapped that on the run." Roxy sighed. "Sorry Sack."

She patted him on the back and made her way back across the lot to her car, deciding on going to pick up some lunch for her and her mum. She'd deal with Juice when she got back, head reeling at the thought of him hooking up with the same sweet butt as her dad.

This was exactly the sort of shit she wanted avoid, yet she felt herself getting pulled deeper in.

xxx xxx

By the time Roxy got back with lunch Gemma was no where to be found. Tig informed her that she was to look after the office in her absence. Apparently her mum had some sudden errands to run.

Rolling her eyes Roxy made her way into the office to eat her burger and fries. A few minutes later Juice appeared at the door.

"Have a good trip back with the sweet butt?" Roxy looked up to see him grimace.

He moved over and sat opposite to her and looked at her over the desk.

"Not you too. I didn't realise your dad hit that. She said she wanted me to bring her to Bakersfield. Shit was hectic up there and I felt sorry for her. Get to her stop and she wouldn't get out the cab." He sighed. "Turns out she's here for Sack."

Roxy didn't know what to say.

"Sorry for assuming the worst."

He shrugged. "S'ok. I now get what you mean about the whole MC relationship thing."

It was Roxy's turn to grimace. "Yeah well that's the way it is. Mums out somewhere licking her wounds I guess."

She pushed what was supposed to be her Mum's burger over to Juice. "Hungry?"

His face lit up. "Yeah babe."

He happily tucked in and Roxy watched him carefully. She didn't want to bring up the elephant in the room but it was getting harder to ignore. Looking around she figured they were safe from prying ears and decided to get it over with.

"So. Nevada?"

Juice took a chug of the Coke she'd brought and smiled at her. "Couldn't wait to get back and see you."

Roxy beamed. She didn't have to believe him but she did. He could easily lie to her but she figured Juice was too honest.

He proved that with his next sentence.

"Not gunna lie. I did have 2 lap dances, and there are naked women literally everywhere in that place. But I swear to god I didn't touch any of them."

Roxy stiffened at the lap dances part but figured she'd have to let it go. She rubbed her foot up his leg under the table and shot him a smile.

"So you want to give us a go then?"

Despite the fact anyone could walk in he grabbed her hand over the desk.

"100%." He smiled. "I thought a lot about what you said and I think we can make each other happy."

"Good."

xxx xxx

There was never a dull moment at TM so it didn't surprise Roxy when a bunch of Feds pulled up in the car park some time after lunch. The guys were all in the clubhouse and Roxy was watching the garage while having a smoke.

Before she knew it her dad was being hauled out of the clubhouse and pushed towards the awaiting car. She knew this couldn't be good but a part of it felt like he deserved it for what he did to her mum.

Roxy threw the butt away and walked over to the cars.

"What's going on?" She addressed her dad.

"Nothing sweetheart. Stick with the guys. I'll be out in no time."

Roxy glared at the agent holding her dad but turned back to her dad and nodded.

"Sure thing."

"Hold down the fort baby."

With that he was pushed into the car and the group took off out the lot.

After they left Roxy turned to the guys. Piney was looking awfully guilty and avoided her gaze.

"Anyone care to fill me in? Starting to feel like an orphan today."

Tig pulled her in for a hug. "Just club shit sweetie. Won't stick." He rubbed her shoulder. "Plus you'll never be an orphan with Uncle Tiggy around." He smirked and tried to tickle her.

Roxy elbowed him, but smiled. "Sure but keep your hands to yourself, uncle Tiggy."

"Not the first time he's heard that I'm sure." Bobby grinned and they turned towards the clubhouse.

Roxy rolled her eyes and made her way back to the office.

Of course her day was just getting better.

xxx xxx

A while later Roxy had cleared out the garage and the guys had themselves holed up in there working with some guns.

Roxy was tasked with calling customers about the delays with their cars while keeping an eye out for any cop activity.

She had no idea what the guys were up to but they were stressed and working fast.

Roxy was sick of being grumbled at by customers over the phone and was ready to call it a day when the phone rang again.

"Teller Morrow Automotive, Roxy speaking. How can I help you?"

"Roxy its Deputy Chief Hale here I figured I best call you."

Assuming it was about Clay, Roxy responded exasperatedly. "Where's he being sent to?"

"It's not Clay he's still being questioned. Your mom has just been arrested. Assaulted some girl down in town. Thought I best let you know she's in holding while we sort it out."

Roxy groaned. "Of course she did." Knowing exactly who she assaulted and why. "Can you let me know when to post bail and pick her up?"

"Sure thing. Sorry Roxy, rough day for the Morrow's."

"You said it Hale."

They hung up and Roxy stormed towards the door that separated the garage and the office. Knocking she decided to enter. The guys stopped, frozen for a second, thinking it could have been the cops.

"Relax just me." She held her hands up. "I dunno what shit you lot have been playing at but now Ma's been arrested too. Assaulted that Nevada sweet butt down in town."

Tig groaned. "And this gents is why you don't get married. Stay a single bachelor like me and you can stick your dick in any pussy you like with zero consequence."

"I dunno Tig, last time you stuck your dick two places you wanted you almost brought the ATF down on all of us." Juice earned a slap to the head for his remark.

"Not in front of the lady." Tig stormed over to Roxy. "Baby your mom'll be fine. Sweet butt won't press charges, everyone will be released and we'll all be a big happy family again. But in the mean time you need to get your pretty little butt back in that office and watch out for the piggies." He pushed her back in the office gently, kissed her temple and shut the door.

No matter how long Roxy had known that guy he still surprised her.

xxx xxx

By the time ATF rolled up with their warrant the guys and Roxy had closed up the garage, the guns being successfully smuggled out, and the group were enjoying smokes and drinks outside the clubhouse.

What looked like a freaking SWAT team rolled into the lot, guns out, yelling at the group to get on the ground. One of the agents tried grabbing Roxy along with the guys and just as Jax and Juice were about to intervene Hale stepped in and told the agents to let her be.

Roxy smiled in appreciation and moved back to sit on the picnic table while the guys were handcuffed on the floor. Naturally laughing their heads off at outsmarting the authorities.

By the time the raid was done the clubhouse was a mess and everything had been trashed.

The guys had work to do so they had to leave and when Roxy started cleaning up Tig took pity on her and sent her home.

Juice caught up to her at her car and gave her his key to his house and asked if she'd meet him there.

So after swinging by hers to get cleaned up and grab some supplies she made her way over to his.

xxx xxx

When Juice got back to his he was desperate to spend time with Roxy but first he needed a shower. He was sure he had to stink from the gun retrieval and he was anxious to get everything off him.

When he got through the door he spotted Roxy in her dressing gown sleeping on the sofa. He didn't blame her it was after midnight but he really, really, wanted to be with her.

Taking pity on her he gently woke her up and ushered her to his bed while he went for a shower.

After almost 20minutes scrubbing himself in the scalding water he felt mostly clean and figured he better get out. Pulling on some boxers he went back into his room, expecting Roxy to be out cold.

"About time. Not like I've been waiting all week. Now you gotta take the longest shower in history?"

Roxy was propped up on his bed in her silky nightie, dressing gown hung on the hook on his door.

"Thought you'd be asleep." He came over and stretched out next to her on the bed.

Roxy rolled onto her side so she was facing him and ran her hand down his chest.

"Like I said." She leant over and kissed him. "I've been waiting for you all week."

Juice pulled her in for a kiss and she rolled her leg over the top of him so she was straddling him.

Juice deepened the kiss ground his hips up into hers. Roxy moaned at the friction and couldn't help but slide her hips back over his. Juices hands gripped her waist before sliding up to her chest, seeing as she wasn't wearing a bra under her nightie it was easy access to her chest. He sucked one nipple into his mouth while his hand found the other. Roxy rolled her hips against his at the contact and it drove him wild.

He moved his hands back down to her thighs and pulled the bottom of her nightie up to find she wasn't wearing any panties either, slightly disappointed, he enjoyed her lingerie especially the panties, he shifted her so she was over the prominent bulge in his boxers.

Roxy moaned softly and bit her lip at the feeling of him rubbing against her and Juice cast around in his bedside table for a condom. Roxy moved back down his legs slightly and pulled off his boxers before sliding her hands up to his cock. Juice quickly rolled on the condom and pulled Roxy back on top of him. He pulled her in for a kiss as she slid onto him, moaning into her mouth at the sensation. Roxy started rolling her hips and Juice bit her lip at the feeling of her breasts pressed against his chest before he pushed her up so he could thrust up into her.

xxx xxx

Roxy spent the next few days at Juice's place after work making up for lost time. They decided to keep things to themselves for a bit longer while they saw where this was going. Last thing Roxy wanted was for Juice and Clay to get into it. It wouldn't be fair on Juice, that or the intense pressure Clay and Gemma could throw his way would likely scare him off.

Both were happy with the arrangement though as it was nice to get to know each other more without prying eyes.

Roxy was enjoying getting to know the different aspects to Juice's personality. So far she had surmised he definitely had OCD, though he hadn't admitted to it, and she liked his goofy and endearing quirks and sense of humour. However there was no denying his dominant, macho side, especially in the bedroom.

Juice liked how soft and calm Roxy was. He knew she must have cottoned on to his OCD, she was a counsellor after all, but she hadn't said anything about it, she just followed whatever routines he had in place without question. He didn't really want to admit to that flaw in his personality just yet. And for the most part he had it under control. He never took the meds he was prescribed as a teenager and never followed up on the counselling Child Protective Services set up for him. So long as he had easy access to weed and kept his compulsions satisfied and anxiety low he could manage it.

Roxy was coming round to see the clubhouse after work today. She was getting off early in the afternoon and was going to see if they needed any help. It brightened his day knowing he'd get to see her. Even if their relationship was still under wraps.

About 15 minutes before Roxy arrived a silver Mercedes pulled into the lot and a tall, white, mousy haired guy got out and surveyed the scene. Tig sent Juice over to go see what his issue was.

"Can I help you?" Juice looked the guy up and down and knew he definitely wasn't from around here.

The guy stared at Juice before sniffing and replying. "Looking for Anna Morrow." He gestured round the lot. "Gave me this address."

It clicked then who this guy was, the accent and attitude gave it away that it was Matt.

"She's at work. Can I help?"

Matt looked back to Juice. "I doubt it. Where can I find her?"

Juice folded his arms across his chest and stood to full height. "Ain't gunna tell you that. What do you want her for?"

"That's between her and I."

Tig sensed something weird was going down when he saw Juice's posture change and walked over to see what the go was.

"Problem here?" He clapped Juice on the shoulder.

"This guy is looking for Roxy."

Matt smirked at her name.

"And why would he be looking for her?" Tig eyed the guy up and down.

"Because she's my fiancée and we need to talk."

"From what I've heard she's not your fiancée any more." Tig eyed the douchebag up and down and noticed the boxes in the back of the rented Merc. "I'm gunna assume that's the stuff she's been waiting on?" He raised his eyebrows.

Just as Matt was about to respond Roxy pulled into the lot. Juice groaned, typical this would happen the one day she got off early.

He groaned even more when he saw her step out of the car, she'd clearly changed after work and was wearing short black denim cut offs and a tight black tank top paired with some work boots. He knew she'd worn it to wind him up but with Matt here now he was wound up in the wrong way.

She smiled as she walked over to them and Juice couldn't help but run his eyes up and down her body. She caught him and smirked but her face fell as soon as she noticed who was standing next to him. She ran a hand through her hair and stormed over.

"What are you doing here?" Her tone was cutting.

"We need to talk."

"No. We don't. I asked you to send my stuff here over two months ago."

Matt was keen to get out from under the eyes of the two bikers and grabbed her arm to try pull her away somewhere private.

Juice and Tig immediately jumped towards him but Roxy pulled her arm from him and gestured to the two she was ok.

"Fine. Come over here." She gestured to the picnic benches over at the clubhouse.

Tig was about to protest but she cut him off. "I'll be fine. You can watch from here. We won't be long."

The pair walked over to the picnic benches and Matt sat down. Juice could see him leering at Roxy from their spot at his car and clenched his fists. Especially when he saw Matt gesture up and down her body, saying something and Roxy's stance changed, she folded her arms over herself but it wasn't in a confident manner. She was almost shrinking back. She self consciously moved around the bench to sit opposite him and let her hair fall over her face slightly.

"I can see you've fit right back in here." Roxy glared at him. "Which of those two are you sleeping with then? The old dude? The spic? Or both?"

Roxy cringed, forgetting how racist Matt could be. "You got some nerve Matt. What possessed you to come all the way over here? We are done. I haven't spoken to you since just after I got here."

"I've been thinking." He clasped his hands on the table. "I wanted to give you one more chance to see what you're missing out on. You know I can make you happy. Happier than all of-" he waved his hands around and sniffed- "this."

Roxy stared at him. "This isn't going to happen Matt. I don't want another chance. Get my shit out of your car and fuck off. You don't want me. You can easily find some prissy girl in New York that'll fit the bill. I don't know why you ever wasted time with me in the first place. I was never what you wanted. So just leave. Make it easier on yourself," she looked over at Tig and Juice who were glaring in their direction, daring Matt to make a wrong move, "because I don't think they'll be patient much longer."

Matt looked back at the two bikers and realised she was right. He got up to stand and his shift in position made Tig and Juice walk over.

"Yeah you're right I don't want you. Who would? I should have never bothered, you're just white trash." Juice ran at him then but Tig pulled him back.

"Juice don't." She stood in front of him as Matt laughed walking back over to his car.

"Guess that answers my question." He opened the doors and started chucking the boxes out. "Have fun with your new boyfriend. You don't know what you've just missed."

Juice tensed again and for a brief moment Tig considered letting him go so he could go after him himself.

Roxy, the voice of reason, stepped in again. "Guys I'm telling you. Not worth it. His dad could rain down hell on the club. Just let him go."

Matt sped out of the lot, attempting to burn rubber as he departed.

As soon as his car vanished Roxy breathed a sigh of relief.

"So THAT's the high and mighty prick you left us for Rox?" Tig was stunned.

"Yeah. I guess." She reached into her pocket and pulled out her car keys. "Can you guys chuck the boxes in my car? I just need a minute."

Tig accepted the keys and motioned for Juice to come help. Roxy sped into the clubhouse and straight to Juice's dorm where she knew she could get peace for a minute. Luckily the door was unlocked from the cleaning so she bolted in and slammed the lock shut behind her. Walking past the full length mirror that hung on his bathroom door Roxy thought how ridiculous she looked, attempting to pull off sexy biker chick. Opening a couple of the dresser drawers Roxy pulled out a black hoodie and threw it on. At least it covered her enough to stop her looking like an idiot.

God she could not compete with the women around here and she here she was trying to look like this for Juice. He must think she's ridiculous.

Outside Tig and Juice finished chucking the boxes in Roxy's car.

"God that guy is an asshat. Where does he get off talking to Roxy like that? No wonder she left him." Tig was shaking his head.

"Yeah I know. She's told me some of what he was like. Dunno why the fuck she stayed with him so long." Juice shut the door and looked back at Tig.

Tig hummed. "She hasn't exactly been shown what she's worth growing up here I guess." He looked up as a taxi pulled into the lot and the woman who's car Tig was working on got out.

"I better get over there. You go see how she is yeah?"

Juice agreed and jogged over to the clubhouse. When he noticed she wasn't at the bar he moved to the dorms knowing she was either in his room, the bathroom or the roof.

He figured he'd try his dorm first but the door was locked. He knocked and heard a muffled sniffle.

"Just a sec."

Roxy scrambled to make herself presentable. Her mascara had run slightly so she used the sleeves of the hoody to wipe it off. You could still tell she'd been crying though.

Reluctantly Roxy opened the door and let Juice in.

"Sorry I just wanted to hide somewhere for a second. Hope you don't mind-" she gestured to his hoody.

"Course I don't mind. But it's hot out so you probably won't need it."

"Yeah I know. I'm just gunna go home and change."

"Why?"

"Just feel like an idiot." She gave him a limp smile.

Juice walked over and pulled her in for a hug. "I think you look sexy as fuck in those shorts. But if you wanna change then change."

Roxy pulled back from the hug. "Sorry I'm just a bit of a mess today."

"You don't have to be sorry. What did he want anyway? What was all that about boyfriends? You didn't tell him did you?"

Roxy sat on the bed and Juice followed sitting next to her.

"No I didn't. He asked which one of you I was fucking. The old guy or the spic."

Juice tensed. "He's a fucking dead man."

"Don't worry about it. I just told him he was an ass. But when you stepped up to him he figured it out." She shrugged.

They sat in silence for a couple of minutes.

"Don't take what he said to heart."

"The fucking thing? I know he's a racist prick. I don't care what he thinks about you Juice."

"No I meant about you."

She shrugged again.

"C'mon you're amazing babe. Really. You moved back here to start again, you've got an amazing job, you're funny, smart, gorgeous. Any guy would be lucky to have you. Hell I'm lucky to have you put up with my shit. I know there's better guys out there."

Roxy smiled up at him. "Not for me."

He pulled her in for a kiss but before she could deepen it he pulled back.

"We better go back out there before Tig gets suspicious.

She sighed. "Yeah you're right."

He pulled her up and into him before reaching down and pulling off the hoody.

"You'll die of heatstroke out there if you keep this on."

He folded it and placed it on his bed before running his hands up her sides and pulling her in for another kiss.

"Ok we really gotta go now." He tugged on her hand and pulled her out of his dorm. Still on edge that things weren't 100% back to right after the raid. Thankfully Roxy had kept him busy enough to distract him other wise he wouldn't have been able to sleep at his house at night without the state of his dorm driving him mad.

When they reached the lot he let go of her hand but stepped in close to her.

"I'm not gunna be able to keep my temper if your old flames keep rocking up here. First Jack, now dickwad. Too much competition." He chuckled.

Roxy rolled her eyes. "Matt's hardly competition." She stopped in front of him for a second, a naughty gleam in her eye. "Plus if you're that worried about old flames then you're gunna have a hard time living in Charming then. Plenty of those round here." She turned to walk off but he grabbed her arm.

"What do you mean?" She laughed at the panic in his voice.

"Well I did grow up here Juice. Lots of high school boyfriends." She winked and leaned in closer. "I'll let you in on a secret too."

She looked back towards the garage. "You're gunna have a hard time working here too. Lowell and I go waaaay back." She winked and stepped away.

Juice looked over at the tweaking mechanic. "Seriously Rox? Lowell?"

She punched his arm. "Hey he's a really sweet guy. Plus this was before he got all messed up. Around the time his dad died."

She squeezed his arm gently as they got to the office door.

"Don't worry babe. You got no competition. You have my undivided attention." She smirked at him again before moving over to the desk.


	15. Chapter 15

Unfortunately for Juice's jealousy over old boyfriends Roxy was asked by Clay to keep an eye on Lowell. She wasn't 100% on the details but he had relapsed, badly, and needed a lot of attention while they sorted him out. Luckily for Roxy she had some training on drug addictions and her and Lowell had known each other for years so she was able to work with him.

This ate into her and Juice's time a lot and he hadn't had any time with her in a couple of days. He was sitting on the tow truck, messaging her some dirty shit, while Sack hooked up a car and before he knew it Sack was stealing a freaking ambulance.

By the time he got back to the garage all the guys were there and were impressed with both Sack's stupidity and the initiative he had shown.

"Yeah maybe we can start our own little rescue station and get little uniforms." Tig was royally taking the piss outta poor Half Sack. Juice couldn't help but laugh though, for once he wasn't the butt of the joke.

xxx xxx

That night, on the other side of town, Roxy was leaving the hospital with Gemma after finally getting to hold her nephew.

Roxy had visited Abel most days on her lunch break at work but actually getting to touch the tiny baby was amazing.

After Jax took off Tig called and told them to come straight to the clubhouse. So in a panic they sped into the lot.

Roxy looked around for her dad's, Jax's and Juice's bikes hoping everyone was safe. When they made it into the clubhouse the place was a hive of activity and Roxy could hear screaming coming from inside the Chapel. Praying it wasn't any of the guys she made her way over while Gemma talked to Clay.

When she walked in Juice and Chibs were hovering over a bloodied guy, naked ass, attempting to do some sort of first aid.

"I'm afraid to ask really."

"Oh lass! You got a spare pair a hands? I'm dying for a piss." Chibs was dancing around.

"Uh sure what do I do?"

Chibs handed her some fresh towels and got her to help Juice put pressure on the guys ass wound.

Once Chibs was gone Roxy turned and looked up to Juice, she bumped her hip against his seeing as their hands were otherwise occupied.

"You ok?"

"Yeah I'm whole." He gave her a sweet grin. "When I said I wanted to spend time with you I hadn't really meant like this."

Roxy laughed. "Yeah can't say this is a particularly hot date. We got plenty time though. You'll just have to be patient."

Chibs came running back in and took back over from Roxy. "Clay wants a word."

"Oh sure. Well give us a yell if you need something."

She smiled at the pair before heading back into the bar.

"Roxy. You and your mum are locked down here till I say so alright?" Clay was at the bar with a pissed off Gemma beside him.

She looked between the pair before answering. "Yeah course. What's going on?"

"Nothin for you to worry about sweetheart." Clay passed her a vodka and Coke and walked off to go see Tig.

Feeling like she was in for a long night Roxy wandered round sipping on her drink before flopping on to one of the sofas. She could see Juice through the open doors and every so often he'd glance over in her direction and give her a smile.

After a while Roxy dozed off on the sofa but woke with a start when she heard Chibs yelling.

"What is it?" She rushed into the Chapel.

"Sorry didn't mean to wake you love. Thought one of the guys might be out there. Can you get us some more Whisky?"

"Yeah sure." She returned a minute later with the new bottle. She got a seat for Juice who was uncomfortably leaning over his spot at the Irish guy's ass.

"Thanks Rox. You're a lifesaver." He gave her a smile. "If you want to go to sleep you can borrow my dorm."

Chibs raised his eyebrows but said nothing. This was an interesting development. He knew Juice was fussy about his stuff so for him to let Roxy sleep in his dorm was very interesting indeed.

"Thanks. The sofa is rather uncomfortable." She touched his arm briefly and left for his room.

Chibs noticed the contact but chose to say nothing, he'd just see how this played out.

xxx xxx

By the time Tara got there the next morning Juice was dead on his feet and desperate for a shower to wash all the blood off.

After Tara told him he probably saved Cameron's life he proudly walked down to his room ready for a well deserved shower.

When he let himself in Roxy was passed out on his bed with one of his tshirts and a pair of his boxers on. He desperately wanted to crawl in bed with her but he had to scrub the blood off first.

A few minutes into his shower he heard the door open and Roxy stepped in. She smirked and pulled her clothes off, stepping into the shower behind him.

"How'd you go?" She wrapped her arms around him and kissed his chest.

"He'll live. The doc came and patched him up."

"That's good." She looked up at him. "How are you?"

"Better now." He pulled her in for a deep kiss and pushed her back against the wall under the stream of water.

xxx xxx

After their shower they both dressed and lay on his bed. Juice reached over to his bedside table and pulled out a joint.

"Want some?" He blew out a long stream of smoke and passed the joint to her.

Roxy normally wouldn't with her job now but given it was the weekend and she was on lockdown she figured why not?

They passed the joint back and forth between them as they lay on his bed holding hands.

"So after last night see you considering a new career path in medicine Dr Ortiz?" She squeezed his hand.

"No way." He stubbed out the roach and turned to face her. "Too messy for me."

She pulled his face towards her for a kiss.

"Well you did a good job."

"Thanks babe."

There was a bang on the door and they sprung apart as if someone would see them.

Chibs' voice rang through the door. "Juicey Boy! Church!"

Juice groaned quietly before yelling he'd be out.

"I wanna sleep." He flopped his head back on the pillow.

"If I was allowed out I'd go get you a red bull."

"Nah s'okay babe. I try avoid that shit. Makes my head race." He smiled and got up to go.

Roxy followed behind him and pulled him in for one last lingering kiss.

"I'll see you later."

xxx xxx

Roxy's day was monotonous to say the least. Being holed up in the clubhouse was not enjoyable. But eventually her and Gemma were allowed to leave to go and get supplies for the party that night.

With some of the other charters hanging around they needed to make sure they had enough food and drink to go round.

Roxy sped back to her apartment with Sack escorting so she could change for the party and grab some clothes for the night.

Roxy settled on the tight black skirt and the silver tank top along with her black pumps. Of course she wore her sexier black lingerie just for Juice. With her make up done and hair straightened she was ready to go. Grabbing Sack off her sofa they left ready for the night.

Roxy and Harley were enjoying catching up and having a few drinks at the bar. The guys were busy outside discussing some business so Roxy hadn't had a chance to get Juice on his own yet.

Eventually Roxy and Harley made their way over under the guise of watching the fight. Roxy just wanted to see Juice so they stood not far from the table.

Chibs caught Juice eyeing Roxy, his eyes lingering on her ass which was highlighted in the tight skirt.

Juice wasn't the only one eyeing her however and one of the Utah members sidled up to her and slid his hand across her ass and pulled her into him.

Chibs definitely noticed Juice's hand fist up and his jaw clench but Roxy pulled away shaking her head.

Yep there was definitely something going on between those two and he couldn't help but think it'd be an OK pairing.

xxx xxx

"I think we should tell people soon."

Juice's hands were on Roxy's waist, pinning her against his closed door.

She pulled her lips off his neck. "And whys that?"

Juice nipped at her neck as his hand ran over her ass. "Coz people gotta know you're mine. Can't watch other guys tryin to push up on you all night."

She giggled and ran her hands down his mohawk, pulling him in for a kiss. "Now you know how I feel watching the crow eaters push up on you."

He sighed. "Ain't gunna happen babe." He cupped her breasts. "Not when I got you in here waiting for me."

She pushed him backwards towards the bed. "So that's all you like about me is these?"

He smirked. "You do have pretty perfect tots. But-" he moved his hands to her ass and gave it a squeeze- "this is pretty good too."

She laughed. "That's ok. I'm only with you coz of this anyway."

She rubbed his crotch before pushing him back on the bed.

xxx xxx

Waking up the next morning was not fun, her head was pounding and she could already feel her muscles aching thanks to Juice's enthusiasm in bed last night.

Roxy enjoyed his dominant side, but perhaps they got too carried away last night.

Groaning she rolled out of his bed and went for a shower. Coming out in a towel she raked through her bag for her change of clothes for today.

"Morning babe." Juice had finally come round and stretched himself out on the bed.

"Morning." She offered him a sweet smile as she pulled her jeans up.

Finished packing her clothes up she searched through her bag.

"Ah shit."

"What's wrong?"

"Ran out of my heart meds. I gotta go home and get my prescription and go pick more up."

"Oh right. You be ok?" Juice hadn't noticed her taking anything before but figured she just did it discreetly.

"Yeah, yeah. Just need to do it soon. Supposed to take them every day." She smiled and pulled her tshirt on.

Juice sighed as her top hid her tattoo from view. It really was pretty sexy.

"How come you gotta take them?"

"Same heart problem as my mum. Well not as bad I've only had one little op. Went in through the vein in my leg and all the way up to my heart. Super gross. But seemed to do the job. Just gotta take these blood thinners and diuretics to keep things moving."

"Huh."

She moved across the room and gave him a quick kiss.

"I gotta go but I'll be back later."

"Sure thing." He watched her slip out into the hall and decided to go back to sleep.

xxx xxx

A few days later Roxy was back at the clubhouse. She'd been paid a visit that morning by some ATF agent wanting info about SAMCRO. As if she would turn rat on her brother and father.

But it worried her what the agent implied. She had nothing on Roxy but apparently had something on Jax so soon as work was done she made it over to go and see him.

She pulled him into the dorm hallway. "So I got pulled up at work today by some ATF bitch. Asking me all kinds of shit about the club?"

"What she say to you? Does she have anything on you? She's been after Luann and Cherry too, had them in holding since yesterday."

"She has shit all on me. I'm a good girl." She smirked at her brother. "You on the other hand. She was dropping hints about that dude from the ATF who was sniffing round here? Who's now vanished? Apparently he had a thing for Tara and now he's gone."

Jax shifted uncomfortably under his sister's gaze. "Look I'm not gunna ask what happened. I don't wanna know. But you better be careful. Coz if you've done something she seems to be on to you."

"Don't worry bout it Rox. Ai'ight? We got this sorted." He squeezed her shoulders.

"Ok Jax. But just be careful."

"Always am, come have a drink. You'll need it after a run in with her."

She laughed and followed him out to the bar. She hopped up on the stool next to Juice to nosy at his laptop.

"What ya doing?"

"None of your business nosy."

She nudged him and accepted the drink Jax had poured her.

"I wouldn't look too closely sis. Knowing him it'll be some freaky porn." He moved back to the other end of the bar.

Roxy smirked, knowing exactly what sort of porn got Juice off. She ran a hand up Juice's thigh where no one could see.

"Surely not watching porn without me Juicey Boy?"

He was about to say something back to her when he noticed movement on the security screens.

"Clay! Cops!"

Just as he shouted it the front and back doors were caved in and some SWAT team looking ATF agents stormed the clubhouse, guns out, yelling for everyone to get on the ground.

Roxy was almost off her stool when the nearest agent slammed her to the floor, her mum getting the same rough treatment. Juice was already on the ground at this point but he swore at the agent and made a move to get up but was met with a boot to the side.

Roxy slid closer to him and told him she was fine but he could see the panic on her face.

"It's ok Rox. We'll be right."

She nodded and closed her eyes as Bobby was arrested and her mum kicked up a fuss.

Eventually the agents left, but not before the one who had Roxy roughly shoved her into the bar to get past her. Jax and Juice made to go after him but Agent Stahl stood in the way.

"Now now boys. Play nice." She waved a finger at them and pushed her way past.

Jax swore. "You alright Rox."

She had her hands on the bar and was taking deep breaths. Juice got her some water and waited eagerly for her response.

"Yeah I'm fine. Just gave me a fright." She straightened up and gave them both a smile.

The guys all went to Clay to figure out what the next move would be leaving Roxy and Gemma at the bar with some vodka.


	16. Chapter 16

Roxy's next day at work was slow. She'd caught on from Juice that Opie, Donna and the kids were missing and it wasn't looking good. Seemed to be ATFs doing. Juice was super suspicious but Roxy was doing her best to convince him that Opie would never rat.

Unfortunately all the evidence pointed that he did. Juice didn't want to believe one of his brothers would turn against them all but it was a worrying thought. If Opie tried to save his own family's ass then all the rest of them would be in jail. For a long time.

And the way Juice was starting to feel about Roxy, he didn't want to be away from her. Not even for a day.

xxx xxx

Luckily by Saturday everything with Opie seemed to have cleared up and everyone was gearing up for Abel's coming home party.

The little guy had made huge leaps in his recovery and Roxy just couldn't wait to dote on him. Eventually she would love to have kids of her own. Roxy had always wanted a big family. Growing up SAMCRO meant there was always people around and though Roxy did enjoy her solitude these days she still wanted family in her future.

Setting up for the party with her mum and Wendy was awkward to say the least. Roxy hadn't lied to Tara when she said she held no hard feelings there and she had essentially given her blessing to Tara for whatever would happen with her and Jax. But with Wendy back on the scene and her mum orchestrating everyone's moves Roxy could tell things wouldn't be that simple. Hopefully no one was hurt in the process. Wendy was still fragile and on the road to recovery and Tara, well, Tara and Jax had history. Long history. And that wouldn't go away easy.

Wendy left to clear the air for a bit and Roxy took her chance.

"Ma stop meddling in Jax's shit. It's just gunna end badly."

She huffed. "Me meddling is the only thing keeping his head on straight. He's all twisted up right now and with those two hanging round him he needs someone to look out for him."

Roxy rolled her eyes. This conversation would go no where. When Gemma Teller Morrow got something in her mind that was it.

"Ok. But I just think you're playing with fire messing around in his love life."

Gemma raised an eyebrow at her daughter. "Rather I mess around in yours?" Roxy stiffened, holding the balloons she was arranging. "I know you blew off Jack last time."

"Yeah well. Things just weren't what I wanted I guess."

Gemma moved over and gave her daughter a sympathetic shoulder pat. "Don't worry baby. It'll happen soon."

Roxy smiled at her mum and nodded. Little did she know.

xxx xxx

By the time everyone got there for the party Roxy was exhausted. Minding everyone's opinions and Jax's love life all day was a minefield. But she had survived and there was food, drink and decorations so her job was done.

Roxy was ecstatic to hold Abel and finally have a sense of being an Aunty now he was home. Juice was currently stood next to her looking at the cooing baby in Roxy's arms.

"Wanna hold him?"

Juice backed up "hell no! I've never held a baby. Ain't gunna happen."

The guys laughed, and Tig shouted out "I wouldn't Roxy. He'd probably drop him!"

Juice nodded in agreement.

Roxy laughed and handed Abel on to the next person waiting for a cuddle.

After a couple more drinks Roxy sat next to Juice and Tig and on the sofa, Tig was a bit distant so she had Juice mostly to herself.

Sitting next to Roxy but not being able to touch her was killing him. He started off not wanting anyone to know about them so they could figure this shit out themselves. But now every time they were around others he had this desperate need to claim her and let everyone know she was his.

Roxy noticed his hand tense. She nudged him and nodded her head to the front room and left to go get another beer.

A couple seconds later she met him there, just out of everyone's view.

"What's wrong?" She walked over to him as he was leaning against the wall in the dark room.

"Nothing." He ran his hand down her arm.

"Seem a bit wound up?" She took the spot next to him against the wall and handed him the other beer.

"Just struggling with the whole not touching you in public thing." He grinned.

"Well maybe we can re-evaluate the status of our 'relationship'. See what happens?"

Juice squeezed her hand. "Sounds good."

He gave her a quick kiss and moved to go back to the lounge room where the party was.

They rounded the corner and bumped into Tara and Jax. Tara just glared at Jax and stormed out the door.

"Do me a favour. Make sure she gets home safe?" Jax nodded to Juice who was looking at the red mark on his cheek. "Don't ask."

Juice agreed, passed off his beer and took off after Tara.

"So. Things with Tara are looking up then?"

Jax rolled his eyes at his sister.

"Not you too."

Roxy held up her hands. "Soooo not getting involved. It's keeping Ma off my back so you can keep stuffing up your love life as long as you want."

Jax punched her shoulder gently and walked back to get another beer

xxx xxx

A while later Roxy was busy cleaning up the party with Gemma, Harley, Wendy, and a couple other crow eaters. Everyone else had gone.

Harley and Roxy were avoiding cleaning up as best they could by hiding out in the front room with their beers.

"So you and Juice are pretty cosy then?" She raised her eyebrows.

"Yeah I guess. Think it might be getting serious." Roxy grinned.

"Well you deserve it. He is a good guy better than the rest of this lot." Harley laughed.

"What about you?"

"Rox I spend my days watching people have sex... Sometimes that kinda puts a dampener on your love life."

Roxy shrugged. "I s'pose."

"Hey I'm happy playing the field."

"Fair enough."

Just then there was a cry from the kitchen. The pair ran through to see what was going on.

Gemma threw her phone down on the counter.

"What's happened Ma?" Roxy ran over and grabbed her mum's arm.

"Uhm. It's Donna." Gemma braced her arm on the counter top. "She's dead. Someone gunned her down. Clay says we're here till someone comes to take us home."

"Oh god. Ma? Really?" Gemma just nodded and hugged her daughter.

The women stood round the kitchen in silence.

xxx xxx

By the time Roxy got home it was well after midnight. Sack had been tasked with following her back to make sure she was safe but she insisted he go home when she was inside. She wasn't sure if Juice would be over later or not.

How are you holding up babe? - R

Juice was at the clubhouse drinking with Chibs. He couldn't get the image of Opie cradling Donna's limp body out of his head and the feelings it evoked in him petrified him.

The image of him holding Roxy's limp body crossed his mind a couple of times and he shuddered. Terrified of feeling like that about her, terrified of losing her, terrified of being with her even.

As he took another shot of whisky he stated at the message on his phone and tried to work out what to do. He could feel the thoughts in his head beginning to race and he knew if he let it go much more he'd lose control of them.

Don't know really. Where are you? - J

Almost immediately he got a response.

At my apartment. You can come round if you like? - R

He waited a few before responding.

Sure. Be there in 10 - J

Chibs didn't seem to really notice that Juice said he was going home. Just patted his brother on the shoulder and left him to it. Juice ran to his dorm to grab some stuff for the morning, along with his weed stash, and made his way to Roxy's.

He probably shouldn't have gone on his bike after the Whisky but he decided he needed to be with her.

Roxy opened the door in grey sweat pants and a shirt of his he must have left behind, hair piled on top of her head in a messy bun, eyes puffy from crying but to Juice she had never looked so welcoming.

She pulled him into her apartment and straight into a hug. They moved over to the sofa where Roxy had a bottle of whisky waiting with two glasses, it was as if she knew.

Juice pulled off his kutte and lay it on the back of the sofa before sitting down and pulling her into him.

"You alright?" She asked Juice.

"I dunno." He shrugged. "I didn't know Donna as well as you do, or Opie, I patched in while he was in Chino. But fuck, they got kids man." He rubbed a hand over his face.

"Yeah. Poor souls."

"What about you?"

Roxy shrugged. "Donna was a good woman. She really loved Ope. And he really loved her. I don't think he's gunna be able to get over this."

They sat in silence for a moment, Juice's hand rubbing up and down Roxy's forearm. She watched the light glint off his rings before moving to pour them some Whisky.

Juice downed his before looking over at Roxy. "Fuck. Tonight I couldn't help thinking what if that was you? Like what would I do? I'd never be able to forgive myself you getting hurt because you were with me." He looked down at his glass.

"Juice I'm daughter of the president of the mother charter. That's always going to be a possibility whether I'm with a member or not."

Juice sighed. She was right. Whether Roxy liked it or not she would always be a target.

"To be honest I think that's another reason my dad resents that Gemma couldn't give him a son when she gave JT two. He's always going to have me as a burden whether I have a man or not. At least if he had a son he'd be in the club and able to look after himself. But not me. I'll always be a liability."

She smiled over at him and squeezed his hand.

"C'mon. We can ponder our feelings and the meaning of life another time. But now we should sleep. I just wanna curl up next to you and forget this night happened."

Juice nodded. "Sure. Mind if I smoke some weed. Kinda need to shut my brain off."

Roxy sat back down and curled next to him. "Sure."

He offered her some, which she declined, content just watching him in peace.

"You sure you're ok Juice?"

He was quiet a few moments, taking another hit before responding. "I think so. My minds just racing a bit. Just need to slow it down. Can't help it sometimes."

Roxy contemplated her next statement. She didn't want to intrude or make assumptions but at the same time she just had to ask. "You have OCD huh?"

Juice tensed briefly. "Uh. How'd you know that?"

"I'm a counsellor remember. Sometimes you say things or do things and it gives it away."

"Oh yeah." He shifted uncomfortably so Roxy sat up. She eyed him but he avoided her gaze.

"You don't take meds or anything?" She paused. "Sorry if I'm overstepping. I'm just curious."

He tapped the last of the joint he was holding. "You're looking at it."

Roxy hummed. "Probably not the best."

Juice shrugged. "I dunno. Helps when I want it to." He looked over at Roxy. "When my Ma left I was like 15. She just didn't come home one night. My sister knew where she'd gone and said she wasn't coming back. Then she left. Not like it made much difference anyways." He stubbed the joint out. "Ended up in Child Protective Services. Sent me for some testing because I was 'acting out'. Got given a bunch of bullshit reasons. One of them being OCD. Prescribed me some Meds and counselling but there was no way I was doing the therapy and I ran away from the home any chance I got so paying for Meds was least of my worries." He grabbed the bottle and took a long gulp. "Never told anyone that before."

Roxy pulled him in for a kiss. "Well now you've told me."

"Guess so."

"C'mon then. Bed time."

Juice was perplexed. "That's it?"

"Well yeah. I guess. Just if you ever want anything let me know. Especially if you're stressed out."

Juice nodded and followed her to her room.

xxx xxx

The next morning Juice got up early to go to the clubhouse. He knew there'd be a lot to talk about today and Roxy was planning on going round to Opie's to see if she could help.

They had a peaceful breakfast before Roxy walked him to the door. They shared a long kiss till a grunt in the hallway interrupted them. Roxy pulled her dressing gown tighter around her as two burly white guy's squeezed past Juice with a big box.

Juice eyed them carefully. "Who's that?"

Roxy shrugged. "New neighbours I guess. Apartment down the end there was up for rent for the last couple weeks."

Juice pulled her in for another kiss. "Just be careful."

He glanced back down the hallway as the two guys entered their apartment before turning to head for the stairs.

xxx xxx

Church that morning had been really tense. Everyone was on edge about Donna and there was a lot of shit to sort out between the Niners and then finding this witness so they could clear Bobby of any jail time.

But apparently the day was to only get worse. Rosen arrived on the lot to inform them that the witness' identity would be released that night and that they would be arresting Opie too. So the guys had to work fast to put this all to bed before it got worse.

Roxy pulled up then which made to brighten Juice's day a little bit.

She walked over to the group to chat to Clay about something. After a few minutes the guys moved off to discuss the plan of attack leaving Roxy alone with Rosen. Juice watched them as he tried following the conversation with the others. He noticed Rosen brush Roxy's arm and her smile in return before shaking her head. Rosen passed her a card before hopping in his car and leaving the lot. Roxy shoved the card in her pocket as they made their way back over to her, plan of attack in place.

"What were you and Rosen talking about?" Clay had a glint in his eye, couldn't do much better than having Rosen as a son in law, perhaps he'd look after the MC at a cheaper rate then. God knows they'd need it.

"Nothing much. Everything ok here?" Roxy did not want to have this conversation with her dad in front of Juice who already looked pissed.

"Nothin for you to worry about sweetheart." He nudged her. "Rosen's an alright guy, should take him up on his offer."

Roxy rolled her eyes. "Sure old man. I'll leave you guys to it." She tried to catch Juice's eye as she left but he walked off to the clubhouse.

xxx xxx

Juice was stunned sitting at his laptop at the bar. He'd just sent the Tacoma Killer, Chibs and Tig to kill a 17 year old girl. Sure he didn't know that at first. But he knew whoever the innocent witness was they'd be killed. It just made it worse when it was a kid. He knew what would happen. His first instinct was to call Roxy but Jax came over to see what was wrong.

"Uh that witness. She's a 17 year old girl Jax. I just sent them after a kid."

Jax could see the conflict in his brother's face and he did not like it.

"Shit!" He ripped off his kutte, handing it to Juice before taking off for the door.

Clay yelled after him but Jax was a man on a mission, he was not going to let the club stoop this low.

Clay turned to Juice now. "Grow a set will ya. Shit needs to be done. Can't handle it then fuck off." With that he stormed back into the Chapel and slammed the doors.

Juice groaned and let his head hit the bar top. Deciding he'd ignore Roxy's messages to come round he left for his place.

xxx xxx

Roxy was slightly worried that Juice hadn't responded for a few hours. He surely couldn't be that pissed off about Rosen. But then she remembered he'd been wanting to tell people about them for a while now and she was reluctant to set Clay and Gemma on him. She thought that Juice really didn't understand what he was in for there so she was protecting him as long as possible. She didn't want to get this far with him to have him freak out about that. At least not till their relationship was more solid.

She toyed with the idea of going round to his place for a while. She still had a key he'd given her before so she made up her mind and left the apartment.

Locking her door she turned around and bumped into one of the guys from that morning.

"Hello neighbour." It seemed like a pleasant enough greeting but there was something sinister behind his eyes. That's when she noticed some of the Aryan looking ink on his arms.

Roxy wasn't full bore on gang tatts but hanging around the club enough she had seen this style before. However, she straightened up and plastered a smile on.

"Nice to meet you."

She smiled again and stepped round him to head for the stairs, eager to get to the car park. Unfortunately if she told Clay, Jax or Juice about this they'd probably throw a fit about her staying here any more. And she loved her apartment. There was no way she was moving back in with her parents.

Pulling up to Juice's she decided on keeping her neighbour's identity a secret for now. Noticing his bike in the driveway she made her way to the front door and rang the bell a couple of times. A few minutes passed with no answer so she rang again. Still no answer.

She was starting to get worried now so, hoping she wasn't rude, she unlocked his door and made her way inside.

First sign that something was up was Juice's boots. They weren't on the mat by the door like they usually were but haphazardly left in the hall as if he'd just kicked them off as he walked.

Entering the house further the TV was on, playing some game's main menu and theme song over and over.

"Juice? Are you here?"

Nothing was out of place in the kitchen but she was really starting to worry now.

Looking down the hallway she noticed faint light coming from his bedroom.

"Babe it's me. Where are you?"

Roxy made her way into the bedroom, the light was off but the light from the ensuite was leaking under the door and she could hear the water running. Roxy could see his clothes littering the floor and made her way to the bathroom wondering what the hell she was going to find.

When she opened the door she immediately noticed Juice passed out sitting under the stream of water from the shower. There was an empty bottle of tequila on the vanity. She rushed over and turned off the water, kneeling down next to the bath she shook him.

Juice mumbled something and came round.

"What the hell Juice?!" Roxy was tugging on his face trying to get him to focus on her.

"Fuck. I did something bad Rox." He mumbled.

Roxy didn't really care at that point. He was frozen, the hot water long having since run out.

"Yeah ok we'll talk about that in a minute but can you get out of the bath."

He looked at her as if she was speaking a different language before nodding his head.

She helped him get up and passed him a towel, wrapping the other one round his shoulders. After helping him dry off she led him to the bed and pushed him under the covers, she removed her jeans and top and slid in behind him and tried to warm him up.

"It's so bad. Roxy."

She kissed his shoulder. Worried about what could possibly be making him act like this.

"What is?"

"I found the witness. Sent the guys to kill him." He let out a sigh. "But it was a girl. 17." This time he groaned.

"Hey, hey it's ok. You didn't know that babe." She tried shushing him and kissed his shoulder again.

"Plus you don't know what they're gunna do. The guys don't kill women and children. It'll be ok."

"Happy will kill whoever you tell him to." He shrugged. "S'ok. Your brother was super pissed when I told him. Just hope he wasn't too late."

"See there you go. Jax will have sorted it. All gunna be fine."

He murmured an agreement. Ready to pass out again.

"Except for your dad. He hates me now for feeling bad."

"He doesn't hate you. We'll worry about him later. Now it's time for sleep."

Juice mumbled again and snuggled into the blankets. Roxy kissed his shoulder blades again and tried to figure out what to do next.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: so here we are at the start of series 2. So this chapter might be a bit upsetting for some. We all know what happens to Gemma.**

 **Also hope you're understanding everything. I don't like explaining every part of the club business and episodes in detail, mainly because we mostly know what goes on from watching the series. But also because at this stage Roxy is still mostly in the dark given that Clay won't tell her club stuff and she's not technically Juice's old lady so she's not privy to all the details. But if you want more detail and context let me know.**

Juice woke up with a groan, his head pounding. He could have sworn Roxy was here last night but she wasn't in the bed with him. He looked around his room and realised she'd picked up his clothes and folded them neatly on the end of the bed. Then he heard movement in the kitchen.

After slinging on some sweat pants he made his way down to the kitchen to find Roxy, redressed in last nights clothes making some breakfast.

"How you feeling?" She gave him a once over.

"Ok." He shifted on his feet. "Sorry about that last night." He moved over to give her a kiss.

"It's ok. Like I told you the other night you can talk to me about this shit. Instead of downing a bottle of tequila." She wrapped her arms round his stomach and squeezed.

"Yeah I will."

"It's up to you how much you tell me about club stuff. I know how that works. But just remember I'm a big girl I can help you."

He chuckled. "Sure thing. Guess we'll find out today how it went. And how much of a pussy your dad thinks I am."

She motioned for him to sit at the table and served up the bacon and eggs."

"I'm sure he doesn't think that. He's just an ass sometimes. Especially if he and Jackson are butting heads."

"Probably best we leave telling him on the back burner a while longer. Till I'm in his good books again."

Roxy shifted in her seat and reached out to squeeze his hand. "Sure. Whenever you want to. I know when they do find out they'll be nuts anyways. So I don't wanna pressure you into that just yet."

He smiled and nodded in agreement before finishing his breakfast.

xxx xxx

Donna's funeral was beautiful. But tense. Sitting next to her mum and Wendy in front of her dad Roxy could feel the tension between Tara and Wendy. Tara was sitting in front of Juice, who spared Roxy glances from time to time to see how she was.

When Jax eventually showed up Tara took his kutte from Juice and went to Jax, kissing him for all to see.

Roxy rolled her eyes slightly. This was not the time for such a strong statement and she could feel Wendy tense next to her.

Juice caught Roxy's eye knowing the drama this would most likely cause. She just gave him a facial shrug and turned back to the minister.

xxx xxx

The three weeks following Donna's funeral had been slow. Opie had gone for a ride to clear his head, needing some time away from everything. And although the case against Bobby was thrown out, due to the 'disappearing' witness, ATF were holding him for the allowed time in case they could re build the case.

Juice was relieved when Jax let him know that the witness wasn't killed and it put his mind at rest.

So today he thoroughly enjoyed testing out the new guns and just relaxing back into their regular outlaw routine, which thankfully didn't involve killing too many people. Juice wasn't innocent when it came to breaking the law but his moral code did stop at murder and sometimes he found that side of MC life to be a bit confronting.

Meanwhile Roxy was helping Gemma sort the clubhouse out for Bobby's coming home party. Rosen had called yesterday to let them know he was finally being released today and they figured he deserved a big shindig. There were some visiting members coming to party as well which meant a big crowd, lots of booze and lots of food.

By the time they were done Gemma and Roxy were exhausted. Roxy had left her car at her parents so she could get drunk tonight and enjoy the party. Her and Juice had decided they'd keep their relationship a secret a while longer. Just till all the stuff with Donna died down. Her dad was still preoccupied with all that so she didn't want to distract from the more serious issue. This meant she probably wouldn't get away with staying at the clubhouse tonight but she was hoping to catch some time alone with Juice while everyone else was busy partying.

As the clubhouse slowly started filling up Roxy went hunting for Juice. She had gone back to her mums to get ready so she missed the guys coming back.

Sneaking down the dorms she knocked on his door, he opened with just a towel on. Clearly just having come from the shower.

He pulled her in quickly and locked the door.

"So how was your day?" She wrapped her arms around his damp torso.

"Was pretty good. Better now." He smirked and bent down to give her a kiss. "Mind helping me get dressed?"

Roxy cocked an eyebrow and pulled his towel off. Pushing him towards the bed.

xxx xxx

After a little while together in his room they figured they best make their way out to the growing party. After a few more kisses.

Roxy made her way out first and headed to the bar to grab a drink before moving outside to see where the guys were. Juice joined a few minutes later and casually sat on the picnic bench next to her. Roxy was sitting up higher on the table, enjoying her smoke as Juice every so often brushed his shoulder against her leg.

Everyone was getting in the party spirit, a few sweet butts approached the group attempting to lure the men away but they were busy waiting for Bobby.

Roxy wasn't so jealous of the sweet butts these days, knowing how Juice was trying to commit and didn't want to stuff things up she had faith in him. The crow eaters also weren't too bad, they didn't pursue Juice as rabidly as some of the office bearing members. However she had heard them discuss that he was one of the better Sons in bed so usually if they were bored they'd go after him.

Chibs again had caught slight moments of affection between the pair. The most telling when Juice left to go get another drink and brought Roxy one back. Not something the guys would usually do. He made a note to talk to Juice later just as a fancy car rolled into the lot. Too fancy to be the Feds dropping off Bobby.

When the three burly white guys and an older gentlemen in a suit exited the vehicle the guys were on immediate alert.

Juice pushed Roxy to go over and stand with her mum while he joined the welcoming committee.

Roxy watched on from her spot at her Mum's side. Curious as to who these guys were, whatever they were discussing was not friendly, she noticed Tig slowly pull out his gun. One of the guys at the back looked slightly familiar but Roxy just couldn't place where she'd seen him before.

Eventually the men turned to leave, after dropping a box at Clay's feet. One of the more particularly uptight looking men stopped in front of Gemma and Roxy, giving Roxy a disgusted glare before excusing himself.

"Wonder what crawled up his ass?" Gemma huffed as she walked over to Clay, Roxy trailing behind her.

"I wanna know everything." Clay handed Juice a business card which he accepted and ran inside.

Juice returned some time later and gave Clay a run down. Neither seemed impressed.

Roxy made her way over to find out what was happening.

"What was all that about?" She plonked herself next to him on the bench again and pulled out a smoke.

"Not really sure to be honest. Just some guys trying to make a move on Charming I guess."

Roxy was about to say something else when the crowd surged forward and there was plenty of cheering. Bobby was home at last.

Juice grabbed Bobby's kutte and made his way over to the group.

Gemma found Roxy a little later and said they needed to go to relieve Neeta till Tara got there. Rox wasn't particularly wanting to leave the party but she figured she'd spend some time with Abel. Making an excuse she ran back inside to hunt down Juice. She found him at the end of the bar with Chibs.

"See ya later guys. Me n Ma are off." She hugged Chibs. "Was gunna say goodbye to Bobby, but uh..." She gestured to him and the two women he was currently enjoying the company of. "Well I'll leave him to it."

Chibs patted her on the shoulder. "Yeah best not to get involved there." He gave her a chuckle.

She turned to Juice and gave him a hug too. Slightly more lingering than Chibs'. "See you tomorrow." She whispered.

"Yeah babe. Night."

She let go and turned to the pair. "Behave yourselves." She left with a wink.

Chibs signalled to the girl tending the bar to get them a couple more drinks before turning his attention to Juice who was texting on his phone.

"So what's with you and the lass then?"

Juice's head snapped up and he quickly closed his phone.

"Huh? Nothing."

"Come off it boy. I've seen the two of you." Chibs smirked. "You're not as sneaky as you both seem to think you are."

Juice groaned. "I dunno man. Just taking things easy."

"Yeah well you best look after her. Won't just be Clay on your back if you mess that shit up."

Juice cradled his head in his hands. "Don't I know it."

Chibs patted him on the back. "Ah don't worry about it. The pair of ya deserve some happiness. Just make sure you give it to each other."

Juice could see the approval written on the older man's face. "Thanks brother."

xxx xxx

After some cuddles with her nephew and whatever weird shit was going on with her mum and Tara now Roxy was ready for her bed.

Gemma was on her way to drop Roxy at her apartment when they pulled up at a stop sign on the highway. Some people mover screaming up behind them, honking the horn.

"What the hell?" Gemma reached for her bag when a young blonde woman appeared at the window.

"Please! You gotta help me. My baby! She's choking!" The woman looked frantic.

Gemma ditched the bag and jumped out the car. Roxy not far behind her.

When Gemma reached into the car and pulled the blanket off the car seat all she found was a doll.

"What-" the blonde woman smacked Gemma over the head while a guy grabbed Roxy from behind.

Roxy fought like hell against the guy but he was too big. When he knocked her head against the side of the car she couldn't keep her eyes open.

xxx xxx

Roxy slowly opened her eyes, fighting the nauseous feeling in her stomach. At first the dim lights in the warehouse were too much for her sensitive eyes so she groaned.

"Roxy? Baby? You awake?" Gemma's frantic voice came from somewhere nearby.

"I think so. What the fuck happened?"

"I dunno sweetheart."

"Where are we?" Roxy could feel the chains that were binding her to the wall biting into her wrists.

"I don't know baby."

Just as Gemma answered the two women sensed movement from the far corner. From what Roxy could tell, now her eyes could focus, they were in a warehouse. Her mum was tied to a chain link fence a few metres opposite her. Roxy could hear more than one set of feet coming from her side and the level of panic in her chest rose.

Who were these people? And what did they want?

God she had only just told Juice the night of Donna's death that she'd always be a target. She just wished she were anywhere but here. Back at the clubhouse. Or in his comfy bed at his house. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as the group approached. Panicking would solve nothing.

"Who are you and what do you want?"

Roxy could make out four men, each with the same creepy white mask covering their faces and muffling their voices.

"Just some concerned citizens. Taking issue with the goings on in Charming."

Gemma retorted. "Do you know who I am? Do you know what I could do to you?"

The men laughed.

"You're no one but a biker bitch with a race traitor daughter." He chuckled.

Gemma looked over to Roxy. Who at this stage had been quiet the whole time. Gemma could see the fear on her daughter's face and was intent on keeping the men's focus on her, and off her daughter. She figured whatever they had planned was not going to be pleasant.

"Oh mommy doesn't know?" The ring leader gestured to one of the guys closer to Roxy. He walked closer pulling some pictures out of his pocket as he went. "You see we know all about you and that spic biker."

Roxy looked at the pictures being waved under her nose. Some of her and Juice outside his place, standing on his porch, kissing, his hand touching hers at the shop, her in her dressing gown kissing him goodbye at her apartment door. How someone got that one she didn't know. The last was probably the worst. It was clearly taken through Juice's open bedroom window, with a clear shot of the two of them on his bed. Juice was taking her from behind, one hand wrapped in her hair, the other holding firmly to her waist. Both too wrapped up to notice that anyone has seen them.

"How the fuck did you get these you sick freaks!" Roxy tried to kick the guy holding the pictures but he simply moved over to show Gemma.

"That's right. Not only does your MC arm the niggers and wetbacks but your daughter fucks em too."

Gemma by now had seen the pictures and stared over at her daughter. Totally surprised by what she had seen, and of course mortified having never wanted to see her daughter like that. She had no idea her and Juice were seeing each other. And by the looks of the pictures it wasn't just some hook up.

"It's ok baby." Gemma tried to comfort her daughter who by now was sniffling quietly.

Roxy was humiliated. That was the last way she wanted her mum to find out about her and Juice.

"Ashamed sweetheart?" The guy who had shown her the pictures chuckled to himself.

Roxy glared at him. "No you sick racist fuck. Why? Jealous?"

"Why the fuck would I be jealous of a wetback like him?"

Roxy could feel the rage bubbling under her skin. Who the fuck were these guys?

"Because he can actually please a woman in bed?"

That just earned Roxy a punch to the face, knowing she'd have a wicked black eye tomorrow she groaned. The guy was ready to take another swing when the ring leader called him off.

Eager to get the attention back on herself, Gemma decided to challenge them.

"What the fuck do you want?"

"To deliver a message." Came the response.

Roxy saw the men move to take off her mums jeans and started screaming at the guys. But she was met with a swift punch to the head. Trying her best to fight back, despite her hands being tied up, Roxy managed to get a couple of kicks in, earning herself a fat lip and bruised ribs in the process before the final blow to her head knocked her out.

xxx xxx

When Roxy came to this time she was no longer bound to the wall. Sitting herself up she could feel the wave of panic rush over her body before her consciousness caught up to her.

Remembering where she was she attempted to look around for the guys but there was no one there. Roxy touched the side of her head, which was aching, and felt the dried blood that had run down her temple. Looking down Roxy could see all her clothes in tact but spotted with blood which must have dripped from her face.

Groaning, Roxy looked around the room and spotted her mum, covered in a blanket, lying on the other side of the room.

Roxy attempted to stand up but dizzily fell down again. Resorting to crawling the few metres she called out to her mum.

Gemma was conscious but beaten to hell. Roxy grabbed her mum and pulled her into her, feeling the sobs wrack her body.

After a few minutes Roxy was contemplating how they would get out of there. They didn't know if the guys were coming back or what.

Roxy felt her stomach drop when she heard a car pull up outside the warehouse.

Gemma stiffened in her arms as they heard the footsteps approach the door.

"Gemma?" Came the call. Roxy could feel the relief and almost cried.

"Way-Wayne?" Gemma's response was so soft Roxy was sure he wouldn't have heard it.

"Hang on!" There were a couple of shots fired at the lock on the door which made Roxy jump.

When Unser finally saw them his face dropped and he rushed over.

"What happened?"

Roxy shook her head and burst into tears.


	18. Chapter 18

"What happened?" Unser slowly made his way over to the two, clearly traumatised, women. Looking around carefully as he stepped.

"Just take us home Wayne." Gemma's response was weak.

Roxy stopped her sniffles and moved to help her mum up with Unser.

When they were safely in the car Roxy could feel the relief flood her body. They were safe now. When the guys found out about this those assholes would pay.

"How did you find us?" Roxy's voice was hollow in the quiet car.

"Heard it over the radio and recognised Gemma's caddy description.

"Let me guess. Anonymous tip?" Gemma sounded bitter.

"Yeah." Unser shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Wayne where are we going?" Gemma sounded panicked now.

"The hospital Gemma." Unser answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Roxy glanced at her mum from her seat in the back.

"No. No hospital." She was adamant.

"Ma you gotta go."

Gemma slammed her hand on the door. "No!" Roxy jumped at the sudden exclamation. "Call Tara. No one can know about this." Gemma caught her daughter's eyes in the rear view mirror.

"But Ma-"

"No one Roxy."

Roxy nodded and borrowed Unser's phone to call Tara.

xxx xxx

Tara managed to convince Gemma to get to the hospital under the guise of treating Abel. Gemma needed proper treatment and certain antibiotics.

Tara was also concerned about Roxy's injuries and wanted her to be x rayed due to her ribs. Luckily they were just badly bruised along with her black eye, swollen nose, cut cheek and cut lip.

Tara left to talk to Clay and the guys who were waiting outside. Unser had thought to crash Gemma's caddy and make out like the two women had been in an accident. At least this gave them a good cover story for now.

Roxy moved over to sit next to her Mum's bed. Slowly grasping her hand Gemma turned to her daughter.

"I'm so sorry baby." She sniffled slightly.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Roxy tried gently reassuring her mother.

"I should never have brought you with me. I should have let you stay at the party. With your little boyfriend." Gemma attempted some humour to lighten the situation. But sitting in the dimly lit hospital examination room Roxy couldn't find it in her to laugh.

"Mmm."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Roxy snorted. "I was going to before those assholes..." Roxy stopped herself for a second to gain her composure. Livid still that those men had taken those photos. She felt violated. But then guilty for feeling like that compared to her mother's violation. "I did not want you to find out like this."

Gemma gave her daughter a soft smile. "Yeah I have to admit that was not a side to the idiot I wanted to see." She squeezed her daughter's hand. "But are you happy?"

"I think so." Roxy looked at her Mum's bruised face and sighed. "He really does try and I can see us having a future together."

"That serious huh?"

"I think so."

The two women were silent for a moment.

"You know you can't tell him about this." Gemma raised her free hand to silence her daughter's protests. "If any of them find out it'll start world war three and we can't risk that. Not yet. Knowing this will hurt the club and then those guys have won. If you really care that much about him you won't tell him."

Roxy considered her mother's words for a moment before nodding her agreement. "Ok. For now. But Ma you have to think about this."

"I will. Just let me handle it."

xxx xxx

Out in the waiting room Juice was barely keeping it together. He wished he'd worked harder to convince Roxy to stay last night. He was terrified that something bad had happened to her in the accident.

Tara however assured them that it was just some bumps and bruises and that they were awaiting more X-rays so the women would be here a while.

Chibs clapped Juice on the shoulder and gave him a reassuring squeeze. He could see the worry etched on the younger man's face, but the doc had said they'd be fine.

"C'mon lad we gotta go." Chibs tried to direct Juice after the others. They had to sort some things out for Luann.

Juice resisted at first. He was desperate to see his girl. He didn't know when she became his girl but he was adamant now. Now that Chibs knew he wanted everyone to know.

"You heard the doc, the lass will be fine and you'll see her later."

Juice hesitated but agreed and pulled out his phone to send her a message.

Hey babe. I hope you're ok, we've been at the hospital but they told us to go. Let me know how you are. X - J

He flipped his phone shut and jogged after Chibs.

xxx xxx

Providing muscle for Luann was a good distraction from worrying about Roxy. They'd paid this Georgie Caruso a visit and threatened him off stealing Luann's talent.

Roxy had eventually messaged back that she was ok and she'd see him later. That somewhat put his mind at rest but he found himself knowing that he wouldn't be able to relax until he'd seen her.

He knew he was getting in deep with Roxy now and he hoped she was feeling the same way.

Juice was back at the clubhouse just about to call her to see if she wanted picked up or anything when Chibs called. Apparently Georgie boy didn't get their message this morning.

Juice followed the others out to Georgie's set. Baseball bat in hand he was ready to let out some frustration.

Swinging the bat into lighting set ups, cameras, and props was cathartic and when one of Georgie's men took a swing at Juice he did not hesitate in bouncing the bat off his head.

Once they'd made their point the guys decided to return to the clubhouse for church. Juice was slightly more relaxed now he'd let off some steam but he was still desperate to see Roxy.

xxx xxx

Gemma had sent Roxy home to shower and relax. Truth be told Gemma just needed to be alone with her thoughts and Roxy's presence was making it hard to come to terms with everything.

Gemma was glad the men hadn't dared touch her daughter but she knew she was still in danger. Those men had clearly been following her for some time, hell they'd even caught them in the act at Juice's house. Roxy would need to watch out for herself and make sure she was careful without letting Juice in on what was happening.

She also didn't know how deep their relationship was and if she'd be able to keep this to herself for long. She just prayed her daughter could keep her mouth shut for now.

Roxy was relaxing with some wine and a joint Juice had left at her house. Tara had written her off work for a few days so Roxy didn't have to worry about the consequences. She knew how inappropriate it was to be getting high with her job. But she needed it today.

Juice was messaging her. Pestering her to come over. She wanted to see him, she needed to see him. But how could she seek comfort in him when she wasn't being honest about what had happened.

All Roxy wanted to do was have him wrap his arms around her while she cried. She wanted to tell him everything. How scared she was, the panic she felt and how through it all she was just thinking of him and how much she wanted to see him come through the doors.

She finally relented and told him to come over and she could swear he was there within about 5 minutes. She had a feeling he'd perhaps been waiting round the corner for her to reply.

Roxy opened the door as soon as he knocked and let him inside.

Juice took one look at her face was filled with this weird pain in his chest.

"Oh shit baby. You ok?" Juice reached out to touch her swollen face.

Roxy cracked a small smile. "Yeah I'm ok. Just sore."

Juice pulled her in gently for a kiss, his soft lips caressing her swollen ones. Roxy sighed and curled her arms round his waist. Finally feeling the peace she knew she would.

After a second she pulled away and offered him a beer.

Juice pulled his kutte and boots off and made his way over to the sofa.

"So what happened babe?"

Roxy passed him the beer and sat gingerly next to him, careful not to jostle her ribs too much. Juice noticed and winced with her as she situated herself.

"Ma just lost control and we hit a barrier at the roadworks. I'm ok just some cuts and bruises. My ribs are bruised too but should heal soon. Ma wasn't as lucky. She's quite sore but we'll both live."

Roxy looked at his concerned face and felt the guilt wash over her. He was so concerned for her and yet she was keeping a massive secret from him. A secret that really did involve him, I mean he was in those pictures and that one was taken through his bedroom window.

Roxy shuddered and knew for that reason she couldn't tell him, he'd be livid.

Juice ran his hand up and down her leg absentmindedly. "I'm glad you're ok." He took a gulp of his beer. "I was so fuckin worried. And when I couldn't see you Chibs had to practically drag me away."

Roxy chuckled slightly.

"He knows about us by the way."

Roxy's eyes snapped to his. "Shit. What he say?"

"Not much to be honest." He shrugged. "Told me I'd have to look after ya." He cracked a smile.

Roxy contemplated telling him her mum knew but decided against it for now. It would leave their story too wide open.

"Well you'd better." She winked.

He finished the rest of his beer. "Well come on then, I better put you to bed." He offered her his hand to pull her up.

Roxy stood slowly, wincing as the movement pulled on her sore ribs. Juice led her to her room and pulled back her comforter. She was already in her pyjamas so he just helped her down onto the bed.

"Want me to get you a drink or anything?" He bent over and kissed her head.

"Yeah please. Water? I might have to take some more painkillers in the night."

"Course."

He returned a couple of minutes later with a glass and set it on her table. He took off the rest of his clothes, folding them neatly and laying them over the chair in the corner. After he took his chunky rings off he slid in behind her and wrapped his strong arms around her.

Roxy relaxed into his embrace, totally at peace now he was here. After a couple of silent tears Roxy felt herself drifting into sleep.


	19. Chapter 19

The next three weeks went by slowly. Gemma was on edge, naturally, and Roxy's increasing guilt over not being honest with Juice was eating away at her.

The worst part was she was worried for his safety but she couldn't say anything to him about it. These guys were clearly white hate and they knew where she lived, where Juice lived and that they were together. She was worried for her safety for being a 'race traitor' and for Juice's for being him.

These guys clearly weren't scared either seeing as they had come right up to the window of his bedroom.

Roxy didn't feel safe round at his place any more and insisted that he come to see her at her apartment. This wasn't always doable and Juice was starting to get suspicious over her increasingly weird behaviour.

Juice had noticed Roxy was jumpy, distracted, spent way more time with Gemma than she usually would, and was taking on a lot of overtime at work. She'd even offered her last weekend to work in the residential unit at the hospital. Roxy claimed it was because she wanted more experience and spending time in the resi unit would be worthwhile. But he was starting to feel like she was finding ways to avoid him.

Sitting with Chibs at Cara Cara, eating chips and watching Lyla shoot her latest film, he was finding himself question their relationship.

Only a few weeks ago Roxy was saying they'd tell everyone about their relationship when everything with Donna had died down. Now all of a sudden she was adamant on keeping it private. She'd even stopped kissing him at her door out of fear someone would see them. He was starting to think she was ashamed of him.

Lyla's big finish distracted him for a moment and he questioned how any guy could enjoy having a bottle shoved up his ass for the sake of porn.

Chibs had noticed his friend's distracted demeanour and Roxy hadn't been hanging around the clubhouse as much recently. Juice had been. A few weeks ago Juice had been rather absent, unusual for him, now he was back there most nights moping round the bar. He hadn't noticed him bedding any Crow Eaters or Sweet Butts but the way he was acting he figured it'd only be a matter of time.

Chibs thought to bring the younger man with him to the porn studio today, get him away from the clubhouse and on his own so he could find out what the problem was.

Once Chibs had quickly called Jax to come sort out Bobby and Luann's fight about the bookkeeping he pulled Juice aside on their way out to their bikes. He'd been getting a bit too distracted with one of Luann's girls.

"What's with you brother?"

Juice's head snapped up to face Chibs. "Huh?"

"With you? And Roxy? I'm assuming something has happened?" Chibs sat on his bike waiting for Juice to answer.

Juice rubbed a hand over the short strip of hair on his head.

"Fuck I don't know man. She's been weird these last couple weeks. Jumpy and avoiding me." He slumped down on his bike. "I even wondered the other night if she was cheating on me. I mean she's always 'with Gemma' and she used to do whatever she could to avoid her. Never wants to come to mine." Juice let out a big sigh.

"I doubt the lass would cheat on ya. Not in Roxy's MO. Must be something else going on. Gemma's been weird too."

"Yeah I suppose. But even a couple of weeks ago she was ready to tell everyone about us... Now though she's hiding it even more."

"Just talk to her. Figure it out." Chibs fixed him with a stare. "But do NOT do anything stupid. Hear me?"

Juice nodded.

"Not with any of these sluts at least." Chibs nodded towards the warehouse. "If we're gunna be working with this then we can't have you fucking around."

Juice chuckled and agreed, clipping up his helmet and starting his bike. That's what he'd have to do. Have it out with Roxy.

That was a conversation he was totally looking forward to...

xxx xxx

Roxy pulled into the lot just as Clay and Tig pulled out. Clay didn't even register her presence but Tig lifted his hand in a wave as he sped after her dad.

Walking up to Chibs and Juice she raised an eyebrow. "Where they off to in such a hurry?"

"Not a clue lass." Chibs dismounted and started towards the garage, giving Juice a pointed stare on his way.

Juice looked up at Roxy a hopeful expression on his face. "Come inside a minute?" He reached a hand out to her but she pulled back, looking around.

His hopeful expression dropped. "There's no one here but Chibs babe. And he's not gunna say anything."

Roxy sighed. When she found out Chibs knew about them it worried her more. One slip up and everyone would know. Then it'd be harder for her and her mum to keep their secret.

"I know. I just was supposed to find my Ma. I should probably get going." She offered him a weak smile.

Juice decided he wouldn't take no for an answer.

"She's at Cara Cara with Luann. Some shits gone down with the club and her. Me n Chibs just rode back in, was getting a bit hairy over there." He attempted to lighten the mood but Roxy just rolled her eyes.

"Ah of course you and Chibs would have spent the morning there." She folded her arms across her chest.

Juice could feel his temper rising. "Well I wouldn't have had the opportunity if you would ever hang out with me." He made to get off his bike. Not wanting to start another argument with her.

It had been Roxy's day off and she made up some bullshit reason as to why they couldn't spend the night together last night.

Roxy sighed. "I'm sorry." She put a hand on his back, seeing as it was turned to her now he was huffing and fiddling with his bike. "I'll come inside."

"Why thank you for deciding to grace me with your presence." He huffed towards the clubhouse.

"Maybe I won't if you're gunna keep up the attitude." She mumbled, following after him.

The last thing Roxy wanted to do was upset Juice and she knew this weird behaviour was affecting him. So choosing to ignore him being an ass she followed him to his dorm.

Juice sat on his bed and rubbed his hands over his head in frustration while Roxy locked his door.

Roxy sighed and sat next to him on the bed and slid one of her arms through his.

"Is there something wrong Rox? Like have I done something to piss you off?" He looked over at her perfect face. Taking in her blue eyes, the perfect curl to her dark brown hair as it framed her face. He even spared a glance at her full lips and just wished he could kiss them. But for some reason he felt like he couldn't. So he let his eyes slip back to his knees.

"No. Of course not." Roxy tugged on his arm. "I'm sorry I've been making you feel that way."

"Well then what is it? Like only a few weeks ago you were all set to tell people. Now it's like you're doing everything to avoid me." He sighed. "Like you've changed your mind and you're ashamed of me or something."

That part struck Roxy. She'd never be ashamed of him, regardless of what those assholes said to her about being a 'race traitor' and all that shit. Juice's head was hanging down and his eyes still firmly planted on the floor.

Roxy pulled her arm out from his and knelt in front of him on the floor, she put her hands on his face and pulled him in for a searing kiss.

"I'd never be ashamed of you Juice. And I'm sorry you felt that way."

He shrugged but looked her in the eye. "It's just I know how much pressure Clay puts you under to sort yourself out with the club. And I know there are far better members than me to hook up with." He sighed. "I figured you were maybe starting to worry what Clay would think."

"Of course not baby. I promise you this isn't about that. I just-" it was Roxy's turn to sigh now. "There's just some shit going on with my Ma and it's getting to me. I shouldn't have let it interfere with us. I'm sorry."

"Is everything ok?"

"I think so. I can't really say much right now. But I will when I can. Is that ok?" Juice pondered her vague question for a moment. Not really sure what she was getting at but believing her when she said it was why she was acting weird.

"Ok. Just know you can trust me with whatever it is going on yeah?" He held her hands which were now on his knees.

"I do trust you. It's just not my place to tell." She squeezed his hands back. "But please know I'm not trying to avoid you, or anything like that. I really care about you Juan." She knelt up to give him another kiss.

He really felt it this time. Probably more so because she never called him by his real name.

xxx xxx

After spending a bit more time in his dorm reassuring Juice, Roxy figured she should attempt to find her mum again.

Exiting the clubhouse Roxy almost ran into her dad. Her really pissed off dad.

"Hey are you ok?" Roxy stopped him by gently placing her hand on his arm. She'd noticed the colour of his fists, knuckles swollen.

"Perfectly fine." He said through gritted teeth.

"What happened?" Roxy glanced between her dad and Tig who was walking up behind him.

"Ask you're crazy bitch of a mother." Clay shrugged her hand off and stormed inside, brushing past Juice who was stood in the door way.

Tig noticed her face fall and wrapped her in a hug. "S'alright baby. Just some domestic shit. They'll be ok when they calm down."

Roxy gripped his shoulders and nodded against his kutte.

"I guess Tigger."

He pressed a quick kiss to her temple and followed in Clay's wake.

"You gunna be ok?" Juice came up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders.

Roxy quickly swiped under her eyes to catch the tears forming. Her dad had no idea what had happened to her mum. She knew he wouldn't be like this otherwise. But she just wished she could say something to someone. This secret was eating her up inside, it had already damaged her relationship with Juice and now it was doing the same thing to her family.

Roxy nodded silently and turned round to squeeze Juice's arm. Careful not to be too affectionate with the lot being busier now.

"I'll be fine. Just gunna find Jax and my Ma and figure out what the hell's going on."

xxx xxx

While Roxy went off to find Gemma, Juice was tasked with briefing the club on Zobelle. Unfortunately the guy was squeaky clean, and Juice had checked everywhere he could to find info on the guy. Luckily they'd figured out where the crank was being dealt and decided to pay a visit to the mill to see what they could find.

Donning a cap over his tattoos, and acting a little shady, Juice managed to lure the dealer behind a truck and into the awaiting arms of Tig. The guys managed to get an address on the lab where Darby's guys were cooking. And it was in Charming.

So they made a plan for tonight. They were gunna get rid of the problem once and for all.

xxx xxx

Well Roxy hadn't found Jax or Gemma but she had bumped into Tara as she arrived at the clubhouse and she was not happy with the news she got.

Clay had thrown a brick through her Mum's car window before going off on her at Cara Cara. Sounds like the club being involved in this was more trouble than it was worth.

Roxy and Gemma had been hanging around with Luann and Harley for years and never had this much drama. The club gets involved for a few weeks and there's already clashes.

Plus on top of that apparently Ima was trying to get in with Jax. Harley wasn't impressed with Ima either and had agreed to keep an eye on her for Roxy. Tara and Jax were just getting into some kind of normal and Roxy didn't want Ima interfering.

The two women made their way into the office where Gemma had holed herself up. Tara to get Gemma's next urine sample for her HIV test, and Roxy to get some answers.

While waiting for her mum to get back from the bathroom the girls heard a bike pull up. Seeing Jax pull in with Ima riding bitch had Tara tense her jaw as she looked through the window.

"What a dickhead." Roxy shook her head at her brother as he let Ima kiss him on the lips.

"You just gunna let that slide baby?" Gemma had returned and caught what the girls had been looking at.

"I trust him." Tara said through gritted teeth.

"It's not him I'm worried about baby. You gotta lay your claim. Let those other bitches know he's not a free dick." Gemma knowingly informed Tara.

"I think my bitch fighting days are over Gemma."

"Well you better think something else up quick." She handed Tara her sample. "Thanks doc."

Tara just nodded and headed out the door.

Roxy locked the door behind Tara and turned to face her mum, eyebrow raised.

"Care to tell me what went down at porn central this morning?"

"Oh nothing to worry about baby." She shuffled papers on the desk. Attempting to get out of the conversation. "From what I hear your boyfriend has been spending a lot of time there recently."

"Ma don't change the subject."

"Well I'm just worried. You haven't been seeing him much, spending all your time worrying about me."

"Don't worry about him. We talked today."

Gemma fixed her daughter with a glare that could kill.

"Don't worry I didn't say anything. Just said I had some shit going on. We sorted through it."

Gemma softened her expression.

"So what happened with dad?"

Gemma sighed and put her head in her hands. "Just hard to work through this baby. I can't even look at him sometimes."

Roxy crossed the space and sat opposite her mum across the desk.

"Ma you gotta talk to someone about this. Get some counselling."

"That's what I got you for baby."

"I don't think I can give you what you need." Roxy reached out and squeezed her Mum's hand. "I don't know how much longer we can keep this secret. It's causing a lot of problems."

Gemma sighed. "I know baby. But there'll be more problems if we do tell. Trust me. The guys can't know this. Please?"

Roxy sat back in her chair. "Fine. But you need to talk to someone properly about this. Someone who actually can help."

Gemma fixed her daughter with a defeated look. "Fine."

xxx xxx

Roxy got ready for the wrap party with Harley. Her dad wasn't too impressed that she was coming but she was invited outside of club business so he'd have to suck it up.

Roxy finished straightening her hair and gave herself a once over in the mirror. She was wearing a tight, burgundy, crop top paired with a matching tight high waisted skirt that went down to her knees. Far more revealing than she would have worn before. But Harley convinced her and now that she was with Juice she was starting to feel a bit more comfortable in her own skin and was happy to show off for him.

As they made their way through the new Cara Cara warehouse, Roxy made note of all the Sons and associates there. With plenty of talent to keep them company. Juice was no where to be found so she settled at the bar with Harley and got some drinks in.

After a while Roxy spotted Opie, sitting by himself and made her way over to him.

"Hey Ope. How's things?" Roxy plonked herself down next to him.

"Alright I guess. How've you been? Not seen you around the clubhouse much." He toyed with his beer cup.

"Just been busy at work I guess." Roxy wanted to ask him how he really was. She could tell there was more to it but Opie was a hard guy to get talking. Just as she was about to open her mouth she spotted Jax walking over to them. He gestured slightly with his head and Roxy took her leave.

Spotting Juice making his way over to the bar she sent him a wink and made her way to join Harley on the makeshift dance floor.

Roxy could feel Juice's eyes boring in to her as she swung her hips and danced with Harley.

Juice was sat at the bar watching his girl, desperate to get up and go over to her. But he kept his cool. Even when one of the guys slid up behind her and tried to do exactly what he was wanting to. But Roxy just shrugged him off and made her way over to the bar.

Ordering her drink, Roxy stood close to Juice, who bent over and whispered to her. "You're tryin to kill me aren't you?"

Roxy just chuckled and accepted her drink. "Why would I wanna do that?" She lent against the bar and looked innocently into his eyes which flickered over her face and travelled down her frame.

Juice had to admit she looked fucking hot tonight, the tight outfit left very little to the imagination.

"I think we need to find a quiet room somewhere."

Roxy made quick work of her drink and gave him a wink. "I know of a quiet room just down the hall there. Third door on the right." With that she excused herself from the bar and sauntered down the hall.

Juice skulled the rest of his beer and followed after her.

xxx xxx

A few days later the guys were all ready for the Eureka Blood Drive. All except Juice who had been tasked with helping Piney in the garage. Not that he minded all that much. It meant he'd get some easy alone time with Roxy without worrying about Clay or Jax sniffing around.

Juice was still worried about what Clay might think, if he was good enough for Roxy. And Roxy still hadn't talked to her dad since he blew up at her mum that day. Luckily she'd been able to avoid him.

However with them going off on a run she figured she best get down to TM and say goodbye.

Strolling across the car park she made her way to her brother and the group. Just as Sack was mouthing off to Chibs about getting a new nut.

Roxy playfully punched him on the arm. "Sack there are ladies present."

"Where?" Jax playfully teased with a shit eating grin.

"All I can see in front of me are lovely ladies in leather."

Jax threw his gum wrapper at her as Chibs gave her the finger.

"Nah you guys have fun on your little trip." She gave Chibs a grin and hugged her brother.

After saying her goodbyes she made her way over to the office to stand with her mum.

"So ya gunna thank me?" Gemma was looking out at the guys as they mounted up.

"For what?"

"Clay asked who I wanted helping in the garage this week and I said Juice. You're welcome." Gemma shifted off her place on the door and made her way to meet Clay, giving him a hug and a kiss before moving off to Jax.

Clay made the rest of the way up to Roxy and pulled her in for a hug. "Look after your mum while I'm gone." He fixed her with a look.

"Yeah of course. Just you guys be safe out there." Roxy gave him another hug and let him make his way back to the bikes.

Yeah she still held a bit of a grudge against him for treating her mum like that but she still worried every time he left for a run.

xxx xxx

The guys eventually made it back from the Eureka run, somewhat hole if you don't count Tig's leg issue. Bobby had managed to trip Tig up on the road and he laid down his bike, thankfully nothing too serious, although when Piney brought the bike back Juice realised how much work needed to be done on it before Tig could be riding again.

They'd gotten word that morning that Otto had been jumped inside Stockton and had his eye taken out by some aryan brothers. The conclusion was it was an order from Zobelle. The guys had to act to sort something out soon. They couldn't have Otto at risk in there.

Juice was busy stocking the bar when Jax came to him hoping to dissuade him from voting in favour of the retaliation. Jax knew they had to be smart about this, and Juice did agree.

That was until Roxy paid him a visit. She slumped down at the bar as he handed her a drink. After gulping down half the vodka premix Juice decided to ask her what was wrong.

"I've just come from Harley's. This shit with her dad is killing her. Y'know he was only supposed to be in a couple years but now his sentence has been extended coz of all the shit he's done for the club. Now he's lost his good eye." She took another gulp. "It's bad enough Luann doesn't have her husband but now Harley can't stop worrying about her dad." Juice watched as she picked at the label on her bottle. "Y'know sometimes I just wish Otto and Clay could trade places. He's so much more a father and husband to those two than Clay is to us. Is that selfish?"

Juice placed the box of beer on the bar. "I don't think so. It's sad you feel that way but it's not your fault."

Before they could delve any further into it the rest of the guys rocked up for church. Juice gave her a half hearted smile and followed the rest inside.

xxx xxx

Roxy was enjoying a smoke on the benches outside with her mum when the guys all stormed out of the clubhouse. They made their way over to Jax to find out what the deal was. Apparently some were pissed off the retaliation vote didn't go through. Not that Jax passed that info on to the girls.

"Just a tough vote."

Roxy took out her phone and sent Juice a message to meet her at her apartment if he wanted to chill out. Not wanting to attempt comfort or conversation here in front of everyone.

Juice was just about to reply when there was an almighty boom from the other side of the lot.

Roxy jumped and turned round to see Chibs lying prone with a pool of blood round his head.

As if everything happened in slow motion Roxy watched as everyone ran over to Chibs, someone called for an ambulance as Tara started to work on Chibs.

Shaking, Roxy sat back down on the bench. Unable to move and not wanting to see Chibs up close. She couldn't bear it if he was gone.

Resting her head in her hands she sat there, listening to the commotion in the lot as the sirens drew nearer.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: sorry for the long distance between update. Lots of stuff happening. But I've been chipping away at it. Hopefully more to come soon. Enjoy and let me know. More exciting stuff coming up soon!**

As the ambulance left the lot, Roxy made her way over to Gemma and Tara. Gemma was looking a bit stunned. Unable to comprehend what had just happened. Deep down she knew this was tied to those guys.

Just as Roxy sat next to her mum, thinking the same things, Jax confirmed it. Tara, Roxy and Gemma shared a look.

After the guys made their way inside for church Tara started on Gemma.

"This was them wasn't it? The same guys?" She fixed Gemma with a knowing stare.

"Hey this ain't on me doc."

"We aren't saying it is Ma. But we gotta tell them. First Otto and now Chibs. They're just gunna keep going."

Gemma turned to her daughter now. "You know how the club works baby. We say this now and all hell breaks loose." Gemma sighed. "We can't make this worse than it already is."

Roxy didn't look convinced. "Well I don't know how much longer I can keep this in Ma. You need to figure it out fast."

Roxy jumped off the table and headed for her car. She needed to get out of here and clear her head.

As Roxy climbed the stairs to her apartment, bottle of vodka in hand after her quick stop at the liquor store, Roxy bumped into the weird guy from down the hall. He eyed her, gave her a quick apology, then kept going out the building. Roxy got a weird feeling that something wasn't quite right about him. But not wanting to dwell on it she hurried to her apartment and locked the door.

xxx xxx

When Juice arrived a couple hours later he found Roxy snoring on the couch. The bottle of vodka was on the coffee table, half full. Grabbing the bottle he took a strong few gulps before placing it in the kitchen.

"Babe. You ok?" He gently shook her awake.

Roxy carefully opened her eyes. "Hey you. How is everything?"

"Not sure." Juice shrugged. "Police are still wrapping stuff up down there but I figured I'd come see you."

"How's Chibs?" Roxy slowly sat up and rubbed her eyes, voice slightly slurred from her drink.

"Last I heard in surgery."

Roxy frowned, praying that everything would work out.

"But look we needa sleep. Lots to do tomorrow so we are gunna need it." He gently helped her off her sofa and made their way to the bedroom.

xxx xxx

Roxy had to go to work that day but she was glad for it. It would mean she could sneakily check on Chibs and find out how he was getting on.

Juice on the other hand had been tasked with staying at TM and 'cleaning' up the bomb site before the forensic team got there. The club needed to stay off the ATF's radar which meant no traces of a bomb could be found.

As Juice got everything together to clean the site he couldn't help but let his mind drift to whatever was preoccupying Roxy and Gemma.

Roxy still wouldn't tell him what was happening but he knew that whatever it was was clearly bad as it was obviously eating both women up. With everything going on with the club, however, he couldn't really dwell on it too much. Whatever it was he was sure Roxy would tell him soon. It was weird for him to have someone he expected to share everything with. Juice had been used to, for so long, just having to worry about himself that having to worry about Roxy as well stressful. Taking into account her feelings and reactions to things was going to take some getting used to.

After being busted by the forensic team on his first attempt to clean the scene Juice and Unser had to get creative. Destroying this evidence was going to be tricky and Juice had a feeling he was going to be in for a long day.

xxx xxx

Roxy had also had a long day at work. One of her younger clients had relapsed and ended up back in hospital. She would be there for the foreseeable future which was distressing for Roxy. Extended stays in hospital very rarely meant anything good, so for such a young kid this would be a hard time.

Then on top of that, worrying about Chibs was taking it out of her. Last she heard he was stable but still critical. The guilt of his injuries lay heavy on Roxy's heart. Despite what her mum said, Roxy felt like Chibs' explosion was a result of them keeping quiet on their ordeal. If the club had already known about this then they could have stopped this before it happened. Now Roxy was left questioning who's next? Jax? Opie? Her dad? And God forbid, Juice?

Roxy didn't know what she'd do if anything were to happen to Juice because of her lies. These guys were smart, hated anyone of a different race, and knew where Juice lived. If they wanted to they could easily hurt him with no suspicions.

It didn't help that that morning Roxy had luckily been the first up and stumbled upon an envelope of photos that had been shoved under her door.

The photos were similar to the ones she was shown that night, more of her and Juice. Roxy had been careful in recent weeks to be extra secret about her meetings with Juice. It's what had him so worried that she was wanting to break up with him or something. They never stayed at his house and very rarely left to go places together. Roxy also avoided kissing him in the hallway outside her apartment or anywhere else someone could see them. Luckily this time there were no photos of them in bed. But still, they had almost tracked her movements with Juice and seemed to know when they'd be together and we're just quick enough that they managed to catch a snap. Roxy had successfully hidden the photos from Juice but she was desperate to get her mum to tell the guys what was going on. She had almost considered doing it behind her Mum's back. But at the end of the day it wasn't her secret to tell.

Roxy just hoped that whatever plan her mum had in mind worked out the way she planned because for now Roxy was having a hard time following it. She couldn't keep this from Juice much longer. Especially seeing as it directly involved him now.

Whatever plan Gemma had in mind Roxy was not prepared for this. After being picked up from work, with Tara, the group headed back to Gemma's where she appeared in the kitchen with her gun collection.

"Jesus Gemma do you guys really need all these guns?" Tara was shocked as Gemma pulled out a selection of handguns from her hat boxes.

"Oh these are just mine." Gemma replied almost absentmindedly.

Tara was stunned as Gemma handed her a gun before tossing one at Roxy and walked out the door, the younger two women following after.

Roxy had no idea where her mum was going or what they were going to do there but it was obvious they were going to let off steam.

When they pulled up at Cara Cara Roxy could only imagine the kind of trouble they were going to get into. After firing a few rounds into some of the promotional posters, Tara spotted Ima pulling into the car park. Spinning her chamber and laughing, Tara followed Ima with the gun until she ran inside.

"Oh that was fun!" Tara was almost gleeful in her intimidation of Ima. Roxy didn't blame her however. She'd seen the way Ima was pushing up on Jax. At first Roxy had thought Ima was a bit of a laugh but after that fateful night out those months ago Roxy had learned Ima only cared about herself.

As Roxy gathered her thoughts Gemma started moving forwards towards Ima's car.

"Oh if you think that was fun, this'll be better!" Gemma stepped up and shot at Ima's car.

Tara, stunned at first, moved to join her. Watching the two other women for a moment Roxy questioned what the hell she was doing. But shrugging her shoulders she stepped up and joined in. What the hell. It could only serve to make her day better right?

xxx xxx

Sitting in the back of the prison van, Juice couldn't help but play back the evenings events in his mind.

Clay had convinced the guys that this was the best plan of attack for retaliation for Chibs. Juice had been the one to hack the computer and find out the meeting point for tonight. Now he just wished he hadn't.

They had arrived at the Morada Christian Centre, guns blazing, thinking they were walking into an AB rally. Turns out all they had done was scare the shit out of a bunch of women and children during some family function.

As Juice was arrested and loaded into the back of the van he couldn't help but think of Roxy and the potentially long sentence in front of them.

Now sitting in the back of the van on his way to Stockton he couldn't help but wonder if she'd wait for him. She'd said from the get go that she didn't want to be an Old Lady and fall into that aspect of the club. As a result they had never put a label on their relationship. Juice had not asked her to be his Old Lady, Roxy was adamant they wait some more on telling others about their relationship, yet they remained faithful to each other in this weird relationship limbo.

Juice just prayed that wherever these charges landed that Roxy would be there for him. He wasn't ready to give her up just yet.

xxx xxx

Gemma had called Roxy late last night to let her know about the guys' arrest. That had accounted for Juice's lack of response to her messages and resulted in a very sleepless night for her. Roxy knew shit wasn't quite good for the club at the moment and Gemma had confirmed that they had no protection inside at the moment. Worrying for her dad and brother was something she was used to but worrying for Juice was new and very different. She knew he'd been inside before so he wasn't new to all this but she did acknowledge he was very different to the other members of the MC and she knew that a long stretch would be tough for him. Especially with his OCD, which he covered very well but Roxy knew better.

Sitting with her mum and Tara listening to Rosen Roxy was starting to understand the dire situation the guys were in. No protection and no hope of them raising enough money to bail all of them. Federal weapons charges weren't exactly taken lightly so the boys were in for a rough ride.

Roxy just hoped the bad news ended here.

xxx xxx

Being out in the yard was tense when they had no one to affiliate themselves with. Last time Juice had served time he was alone, no protection, but back then he wasn't with the MC and could easily blend in and didn't require protection.

Doing sit ups to pass the time Juice was trying to keep his mind off Roxy. If she hadn't told anyone about them she couldn't really come visit him and an extended period without seeing her was not something he wanted to do.

"How you going beautiful?" Tig was smirking above Juice as he finished a sit up. Juice looked up to see Tig and Clay staring down at him.

"What?" He said back suspiciously.

"We need you to take one for the club." Clay was eyeing him carefully.

"Oh shit." Juice stood up. Dreading whatever it was the guys had in store for him. It couldn't be good.

"Snitch over there finds you very appealing." Bobby nodded towards the big guy in protective custody. "Gotta get him outta PC for the family."

"Buys us protection." Clay added.

Juice shook his head. "Get him out how?"

Bobby chuckled and started thrusting in Juice's direction. "Boom boom boom boom boom."

"Oh come on are you serious?" Juice could see where this was going and there was no way he was being someone's bitch for the sake of the club. That was a line he wouldn't cross.

"Nothing's gunna happen you're just bait." Jax tried to reassure Juice, not liking where this was going. "Black will jump in before he bites."

"Well, we hope." Tig smirked and walked past Juice.

"50/50 chance you wind up with no dick up your ass."

Jax rolled his eyes. "I arranged a meet at the PC infirmary. You gotta distract Dion, unlock the guard gate, let in Russell's crew. It'll be a piece of cake."

"So how do I get there?" Juice stared at Jax questioningly when Tig punched him in the kidney.

"Jesus Christ I think you cracked my rib." Bobby and Tig helped Juice to the guards.

"I know. I'm sorry."

xxx xxx

Juice thanked whatever God there was that black got there just in time to stop Dion. He was not looking forward to weaselling his way out of that room.

He just hoped he'd done the guys proud and sorted everything, even though Clay didn't know about him and Roxy he still wanted to garner his approval. Juice knew the others saw him as the idiot kid brother of the club, despite how often his tech savvy got them out of trouble or important information.

Making his way back into the yard, with a spring in his step, Juice was happy to let the guys know it was done. Hopefully they'd respect him for pulling through for them. Chances are though it'd just make him the butt of more jokes.

As he walked across the yard some dickhead barged into him. Before he could react Juice felt the stabbing pain in his back and fell to his knees. All he could do was scream out in pain as the guys rushed towards him.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: bit of a short one but we are getting to the good stuff I promise. They all find out soon.**

Roxy had been hanging around at the lot most of the day. She had taken a sick day from work, unable to concentrate she would be of no use to any of her clients after their meeting with Rosen that morning.

Lighting up yet another smoke, Roxy's phone started ringing. Her heart dropped as she looked at the screen and noticed it was a blocked number. She knew this would be the prison. Why they'd be calling her she didn't know, but it couldn't be good. N

"Hello?" Roxy held her breath waiting for the response.

"Hello, is this Roxanna Morrow?" A lady's cool voice replied on the other end.

"Yes this is her."

"This is Dr Harper from Stockton Penitentiary Infirmary. A Juan Carlos Ortiz has you down as his emergency contact when he arrived yesterday?"

Roxy's heart plummeted. This could not be good.

"Yes. What's happened? Is he ok?" Roxy was frantic now, the catch in her voice evidence of her emotional state. She had jumped off the picnic table she'd been occupying and started pacing. Drawing Gemma's attention from the office.

"He's stable. He was stabbed twice in the back. Luckily the shank missed his lungs and kidneys but he lost some blood and has had some internal bleeding." Roxy couldn't help the tears now as Gemma made her way over to her daughter, sensing her despair she pulled her into a hug. "He's stable but we are transporting him to St. Thomas for further care."

Roxy breathed a slight sigh of relief. "Can I see him?"

"Immediate family can see him. I'm sure as his emergency contact you'll be allowed in. However that will be up to the guards who accompany him."

"Ok. Thank you for calling. Can you let him know I'll see him at St. Thomas?"

"He's under sedation at the moment for the transfer but I'll try."

"Ok thank you." Roxy hung up and couldn't help the tears now, Gemma just squeezed her tighter.

"What happened baby?" She pushed Roxy away slightly so she could see her face.

"Juice was stabbed in the back. He's being transferred to St. Thomas." She hiccuped slightly.

"Dammit. I knew they weren't safe in there." Gemma squeezed her daughter's shoulders. "He ok?"

Roxy wiped her face with the backs of her hands and sighed. "I guess. They're transferring him to St. Thomas. I should be able to see him seeing as he put me down as his emergency contact."

"Ok. Well you head over soon as he's there baby." She pulled her towards the clubhouse. "In the meantime lets have something to drink."

xxx xxx

Roxy managed to get into Juice's room, he was sleeping when the guard let her in. She made her way over to the bed, he was wearing a hospital gown and was shackled to the bed with one hand. Roxy shuddered at how pale he looked and vulnerable hooked up to the IV and heart monitor. Roxy pulled the lone plastic chair over to his bedside and plopped down. She pulled his hand into hers and gave it a squeeze, trying not to cry again.

After a few minutes Juice groggily opened his eyes. He was still kinda foggy from the sedation, that was necessary for the bumpy transport from Stockton back to Charming.

"You're a sight for sore eyes." Juice tried to focus on Roxy's face. After his close call with the lovely Dion followed by a yard shanking he was ecstatic to see his girl at his side.

"Jesus Juan Carlos, you gave me the biggest fright. What the fuck happened?" Roxy's eyes were probing, desperate to find out why he was on his own and what the guys were playing at in there. Juice's incident only made her worry more about her dad and brother.

"Just some rivalry shit. Wrong place, wrong time, don't worry about it." He squeezed her hand back. "So do I get a kiss or what?"

Roxy cracked a grin, forgetting the importance of her question. "Of course. Guard says I only have half an hour though and you slept through 25mins of it."

"Well you best make the most of the last 5 then." He tried giving her his winning smile, but still feeling a bit drunk it didn't go quite to his eyes.

Roxy stood up and leant over his bed, running her hand up his chest to his face she moved in and captured his lips with hers. Roxy couldn't help but pour her emotions into the kiss, she had been so worried about him, panicked that she'd perhaps lose him when they hadn't even had the chance to make anything official yet.

Starting to get carried away, Juice tangled his free hand in her hair while Roxy moved one of hers from his face down his chest towards the blanket. Just as her hand reached his crotch the door opened and the guard busted in.

"Alright lovebirds visits over."

Roxy sprung off Juice and flustered while she straightened out her clothes. Juice just glared at the guard and shifted uncomfortably in his bed. A hot make out session with his girl had been exactly what he needed. Unfortunately it was cut short.

"Sure. I'm coming." Roxy gave the guard a pointed look before turning back to Juice.

"I'll come by again tomorrow. Try rest up." She winked at him and gave him one last lingering kiss before the guard cleared his throat reminding them he was still there.

Juice squeezed her hand again before letting her go.

xxx xxx

By the time Roxy made it back to the lot it was nightfall. She filled Gemma in on Juice's condition and thought she could broach the subject of their secret again.

"It's time we tell them Ma. I can't help but think this was related to our attack and I can't keep putting Juice in danger when he doesn't know anything about it."

Gemma just sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Baby I'm telling you this will just make it worse. You think it's bad what they did after what happened with Chibs imagine what'll happen if they knew about us." Placing her glasses on the desk. "Jail time would be the least of our worries."

"Ma he coulda died. They shivved him in the back. Twice. They weren't exactly being gentle." Roxy huffed.

"Just let this blow over baby. It always does."

Tara arrived at that moment, effectively finishing their conversation.

By the time they'd finished saying hello the three women noticed a van pull into the lot. Heading out of the office the women approached the van as it parked up and the men started getting out. The mood was instantly tense. Most of the club moved towards the clubhouse but Jax just walked past the three women, face covered in bruises and cuts and made his way to the garage. Roxy snapped her head over to her dad, his face equally battered and serious as he stormed into the clubhouse without even a second glance.

This couldn't be good. If Jax and Clay were at odds then nothing good could come of it.

xxx xxx

The next day Gemma decided having a big dinner would be a good way to get the guys on good terms again. Plus it had been a while since they'd all been together.

Roxy was currently with Juice though. Now that he was technically on bail he had easier visiting limits and no guard on the door.

Letting herself in Roxy pulled the curtain closed so that if someone did come in they couldn't see the bed. That would give them an extra moment of privacy in case anyone from the club busted in.

"Finally. Been dying to see you since last night." Juice tried to pull himself up in his bed.

"Sorry got a bit held up down in the office. Plus I've gotta go help Ma out later. She's having a dinner tonight."

Juice's face fell at that comment. He loved Gemma's big family dinners. He'd never experienced anything like it growing up and it felt good to have such a big group of people who all cared about each other.

Roxy noticed his expression. "Don't worry babe. Soon as you're out we can do another one. Tell them about us." She offered him a smile.

"Sure ok. But in the meantime you have some kissing to make up for."

Roxy rolled her eyes at his lame comment but she slid onto the bed anyway, careful not to put any weight on him.

Juice had use of both his hands now he wasn't shackled to the bed, so with one tangled in her hair to pull her lips to his, he used the other to slide down her back to grab her ass.

Roxy was wearing tight fitting slacks and a loose blouse, her usual office attire, and Juice always thought she looked sexy in it.

Roxy picked up where she left off the night before and slid her hand down the front of his not so sexy hospital gown towards his crotch.

She broke away from his lips for a second. "Sure you're ok baby?"

Juice gasped as she wrapped her fingers around him. "I think if you stop I won't be."

Roxy kissed him once again, allowing her hand to move up and down his length with just the right amount of pressure.

"Good. Wouldn't want to hurt you." She mumbled, kissing down his jaw and neck towards his muscular chest.

Juice couldn't help but pant as Roxy replaced her hand with her lips, it'd been too long since he'd last had her and spending the last two days either in prison or lying in this stupid hospital bed was driving him crazy.

When she had finished and Juice had recovered somewhat Roxy fixed them both up and pulled herself up the bed to face him again.

Juice stroked her face as he took in her features. She had the most beautiful clear blue eyes, her dark brown curls slight messed flowing round her face. He couldn't take his eyes off her lips, plump and slightly swollen from their recent activity.

Roxy felt slightly self conscious under his intense gaze and tried burying her face in his pillow.

"What?" She mumbled into his shoulder.

Juice considered for a moment before answering. "Nothin'." He had been almost ready to say those three words to her. Something he'd not said to anyone before, he couldn't even remember if he'd said them to his mum or sister before. But it scared him and he decided against it. For now. "Just glad you're here."

Roxy raised an eyebrow. "What? Glad you got a blow job out of it?" She retorted with a smirk.

He chuckled. "Well that... And I was worried I'd never get to see you again if we were stuck in there."

Roxy blushed. "Yeah I was worried too." Roxy had always maintained she never wanted to be an Old Lady, and the guys doing time was one of the reasons why. She didn't think she could just wait around, life passing her by, as she waited for her man to be released.

Now she knew she could do it. Just being apart from him for 24 hours was too much and she couldn't see herself with anyone else.

Before he could question the look on her face her phone rang and Roxy jumped up to grab it.

It was Harley. "Hey lady what's going on?"

Harley groaned. "You would not believe it if I told you. But we've been shut down for the day. More issues with Caruso. Wanna come pick me up and I'll help you with your Ma's dinner?"

"Yeah sure I gotta swing by the shops soon anyways so I'll come pick you up from your place."

"Ok cool. My Ma is dealing with all this for now so she'll come later. Figure we could use a catch up. Heard about Juice being in the hospital."

"Yeah I'm here now. But I'll come get you in 20."

"Ok. Have fun lady." Roxy could hear the wink in Harley's voice.

"Already did." Roxy laughed and hung up as Harley started laughing at her.

Juice had been trying to eavesdrop with little success. "Already did what?"

Roxy leaned back in and gave him a hot kiss. Pulling away she said, "have fun."

Juice smirked. "Well I sure had fun. But I'll make it up to you when I'm better."

"Who said I didn't have fun babe?" Roxy winked and started gathering up her stuff. At the disappointed look on his face she stopped and leaned over him again. "I always have fun when I'm with you." She gave him another searing kiss. "But I'm looking forward to you making it up to me."

xxx xxx

Harley and Roxy had spent most of the afternoon messing around at the shops before heading to Gemma's to help cook.

The few croweaters that were there served the girls with good club gossip, mainly about the guys and who was doing what.

By the time people started arriving the two girls had a fair amount to drink and were giggling away, trying to serve food.

The mood was light, until Tara came in. All guns blazing. Roxy wasn't really paying attention but it was something to do with Gemma causing a fuss at the hospital.

With the arrival of the guys Roxy and Harley started dishing out beers and trying to get everyone else into the party spirit. It was obvious this was going to be a hard task given the mood of the MC members at present.

As soon as Jax and Clay were together and Bobby and Tig all hell broke loose. The remaining guys were trying to calm the fighting pairs down and then it just became an all out fight.

No one noticed Deputy Hale enter the room until he shouted over the top of the men. Taking a few steps closer to Harley he attempted to offer a comforting hand.

"I don't know how to say this. But we've just found Luann Delaney off the highway. She was beaten to death. We don't have any other details yet." He squeezed Harley's shoulder, "I'm really sorry Harley."

Harley grabbed Roxy's hand, unable to say anything or do anything other than stare at the door Hale just left through.

That's when Clay started in on Jax again. "Did you cause this? Retaliation for Cara Cara?"

Jax glared at his step father. "You're as blind as you are crippled."

"No! The blind guys in jail with no wife because you just got her killed!" Clay's voice was full of contempt.

"I'm not the one murdering women!" Jax spat back.

Roxy just stared as the two men in her family tore shreds off each other, vaguely aware of Harley clinging to her arm.

Just as the noise reached its peak Gemma slammed the roast platter down on the table. The guys seemed to be forgetting that she had just lost her best friend, that Harley had just lost her mother.

The room fell deathly silent aside from Harley's soft sobs.

The club members actually looked guilty for their behaviour as Roxy and Gemma pulled Harley away and made their way to Roxy's old bedroom.


	22. Chapter 22

That night Roxy spent in her old bed with Harley curled up in her arms. What made things worse is that she couldn't even call her dad and seek comfort from him right now.

Roxy couldn't bear to think about her uncle Otto right now. He would be absolutely heartbroken. The love he had for Luann was like nothing she'd ever seen before. If there was one MC relationship that could convince her to become an Old Lady it was theirs. His two girls were what he lived for. And without Luann she feared he may not see much else.

When they got up that morning Jax called and let them know he was headed up to Stockton to see Otto. Roxy informed him she was taking Harley up there later to see him as well.

Roxy eventually managed to convince Harley to get out of bed. With the aid of a joint and some coffee she managed to get her in the shower and ready to see her dad.

The trip to Stockton was long and quiet. Roxy drove while Harley just stared out the window. When they parked Roxy could spot Jax's bike, meaning he was still there.

By the time Roxy had coaxed Harley out of the car Jax was exiting the prison. She stepped away from Harley for a moment to get some info from Jax. Harley busied herself with another joint. Roxy would have scolded her doing it right outside the prison but given the circumstances she figured she'd leave her to it.

Jax nodded to his sister as he lit up his cigarette. "How's she doing?"

Roxy looked back at Harley. "Honestly? Not coping. Don't think she's fully grasped it yet." She looked down at her shoes. "How's Otto taking it?"

"Same as her. Will do him good to have her in there." Jax took a long drag on his smoke while he watched Harley slowly make her way over.

"How is he Jax?" Harley threw the roach down and stepped on it.

"He'll be glad to see you. Remind him he's still got you out there to think of."

Harley gave a deep sigh, nodded, and wiped her face before trying to smooth out her clothes. She was currently wearing a pair of Gemma's jeans which were slightly too big, paired with an oversized SAMCRO t shirt. Probably one of Jax's. She pulled the zipper on the hoodie up, knowing she'd probably be given grief for wearing that into the prison with the club's name on it.

"Suppose we should get in there." Harley motioned to the doors. Dreading facing her dad.

"Yeah course. I'll see you guys later yeah?" Jax kissed his sister and gave Harley a hug and a kiss too. "Look after yourself doll."

Harley nodded again and walked towards the entrance. Roxy gave Jax a limp smile and followed after her friend.

xxx xxx

After visiting her dad Harley insisted on having some time alone. Roxy didn't want to leave her but Harley was adamant she needed some time.

Reluctantly, Roxy returned to her apartment in desperate need of a nap.

Upon opening her door she stumbled on another envelope. Dreading what was in this one, she scooped it up and made her way into the apartment.

Turning on the coffee maker Roxy propped herself against the kitchen counter, took a deep breath and opened the envelope. There weren't any new photos in this batch, probably because they hadn't had much time together at all given Juice's trip to Stockton and extended stay in hospital.

These were the same photos from that night with a note this time that read:

"Time is running out. Tell them or we are coming for you."

Roxy let out a shaky breath and flicked off the coffee maker. They knew where she lived. This couldn't end well.

She shoved the photos back in the envelope and ran to her room to grab some fresh clothes. Not bothering to shower she shoved on the fresh clothing, made sure her gun was loaded and bolted from her apartment.

xxx xxx

Roxy made her way to the clubhouse. She had decided she had to tell her dad and the club about this. She feared for her life now and Juice was completely unprotected in his hospital bed and had no idea to even worry about this.

When Roxy entered the clubhouse she could feel the tension in the air, choosing to ignore it she made her way to her dad who was storming through the clubhouse.

"Dad. Can I have a minute?"

"Not now Roxy." He looked over at Happy. "Happy call your Nomads. Gunna need bodies. We've been deputised." Clay brushed past his daughter and stormed towards the Chapel.

Rolling her eyes Roxy figured she wasn't going to get anywhere with her dad today so she decided on staying at the clubhouse tonight. At least she'd be safe there given that Happy was currently staying.

xxx xxx

Roxy woke with a start the next morning, tangled in Juice's blankets. She'd managed to find the spare key to his dorm in her Mum's stash in the office.

Thankful to be enveloped by bits of him she was glad to be in his room. It gave her a bit of security.

Roxy had told Happy she was staying the night here and luckily he didn't ask any questions. It's what she liked about him. However he did say she would be safe if that's what she was worried about. Roxy has just given him a thankful pat on the arm and made her way to bed.

Deciding to get up for a smoke Roxy cast around for her packet and lighter. She couldn't find her lighter anywhere and decided to raid Juice's drawers. Pulling open his bedside drawer she couldn't help but giggle. Sitting in there next to a bottle of lube, a ridiculous amount of condoms, and a joint, were a pair of her black, lacy panties. She had a feeling these were the same panties she was wearing the first night she hooked up. She knew that he must have pinched them when she couldn't find them that morning. At the time Roxy had been in too much of a rush to get out before he woke up so she'd given up and done the walk of shame panty-less.

As much as it was funny and weird, Roxy also found it endearing. Figured it meant that he was being true to his word about being faithful if he was keeping them there. God knows what he did with them, she had a faint idea given their prime position next to the lube. But she just moved on in her search.

Eventually she found a lighter and chucked on a fresh tshirt from Juice's drawer before heading outside for a smoke. Most of the guys smoked in their rooms but not Juice. So she respected that.

When she was sitting on the picnic table Roxy spotted Jax. Deciding she would tell him about the letter she made her way over to him. However when she got close enough she could see the look on his face and knew that, once again, her problems were going to have to take a back seat to whatever issues the Club were facing.

"What's wrong Jax?"

With a face like thunder he replied, "fucking Cara Cara burned down. That's what's wrong."

Roxy groaned, as if they needed this on top of everything. Harley was barely going to cope without her mum never mind their business burning down too. "Harley is gunna be devastated. What happened?"

Jax just grunted and walked past her to the clubhouse. "Ask your dad."

xxx xxx

Giving up on telling her story Roxy figured she'd be safe for now if she stayed within arms reach of the club.

Before she went to work she quickly called Harley to see how she was doing. Luckily her Mum's sister had come round to help with funeral planning. Harley assured Roxy she was doing ok and would come out and see her later. For now she just needed to be with her Aunt.

During one of her ward visits Roxy heard that Chibs was ready for release so she headed up to ICU to be part of his welcoming committee. She had visited him frequently while he was in so she was a welcome face in the group.

The good thing about working in the hospital was that if any members were in there they weren't alone and were guaranteed frequent visits from Roxy or Tara. It was also a good cover for her visiting Juice, which now it was her lunch break she decided to do.

As she approached his room she found Jax sitting outside. Placing the coffee and cake she had for Juice down on a nearby table she went to see what was wrong with her brother.

"Hey bro. What you doing here?"

"Was going to proxy a vote form Juice but turns out he's being released in a little while." Roxy's heart soared at the news, relieved that he would no longer be alone in the hospital. "Bobby's in there filling him in on some club stuff for when he gets out."

"Huh."

"What are you doing?" Jax glanced up from his hands.

"Coming to visit the remaining cripple. Felt sorry for him now Chibs is out. Guess I didn't need to if he's being released."

Sitting down next to Jax, Roxy decided to try find out what was wrong.

"What's going on with you?"

Jax let out a lengthy sigh. "Just some fucked up club shit." He nudged Roxy with his elbow. "Don't tell Ma. But shit with Clay has gotten real bad."

Roxy cut him off. "So I noticed."

"Well I decided to go Nomad for a bit. Try and let this shit cool off."

Roxy tensed. Being a member of the Nomad charter was dangerous and it would mean he'd never be around. Their mum was definitely not going to like this.

"Say something Rox." Jax looked concerned.

"I dunno what you want me to say." She flexed her hands out in a shrug like gesture. "It's gunna suck not having you around. Abel is gunna miss a lot of time with you." She looked up at her brother now. "And Nomad is dangerous Jax. Like you'll be alone 90% of the time. So much could happen."

Jax let out another lengthy sigh. She was right, he knew the risks. "Yeah but I gotta do it. For the good of the club. Otherwise we're gunna end up killing each other."

Roxy nodded, trying to hold back tears that threatened to spill out. "How am I gunna navigate mum and dads craziness without you around?"

They weren't the closest siblings, with the age gap and Roxy's time away, but they were siblings none the less. Jax had always been around to look after her, being the overprotective older brother.

"You'll manage." He gave her a slight smile as Bobby exited Juice's room.

"All caught up. He'll be out in time for the vote." Bobby nodded to Jax. "Hey Rox. Come to pay our little Rican a visit?"

Roxy picked up the coffee and cake. "Yeah figured he might be a bit lonely. Didn't know about his release though."

"Sure he'll be glad of the company." Bobby squeezed her shoulder as he passed. He hadn't expected Juice to be as emotional about Jax's decision as he was. But what he said to Jax was right. The charter was supposed to be family, and he knew Juice didn't have much of that. If Roxy could cheer him up then that was good.

Roxy said goodbye to Jax and Bobby and made her way into Juice's room. He was sat on the edge of the bed, facing away from the door.

"Hey babe. Doing ok?" She approached the small bedside table and sat down the coffee and cake, looking at his back. "Brought you some coffee and cake. Figured it might cheer you up." She stroked his back, feeling the slump of his shoulders.

"Thanks babe."

She moved around to the other side of the bed to stand in between his legs. Putting both hands on the sides of his face she pulled his head up for a kiss.

"What's going on?" She figured he was sad about her brother's stroked his fuzzy hair while he answered. He hadn't had the ability to shave his Mohawk and as a result his head was covered in short black hair.

"Just club shit. Seems like everything's gone to shit in just a week. That and the prison sentence hanging over us."

He looked up at her then to gauge her reaction.

She hummed noncommittally. "Heard about Jax going Nomad too."

Now it was Juice's turn to reassure her. "He'll be ok babe. He and Happy are pretty tight. As if he'd let anything happen to him." He chuckled.

"S'pose you're right there." She bent and gave him another kiss. "So you're getting out early?"

"Sure am. Stool is officially blood free." He gave her a cheesy grin.

"Exactly what your girlfriend wants to hear babe."

He just grinned even wider. "Of course." He gave her hips a squeeze with his knees. "So maybe we can tell everyone about us now?"

She giggled. "I suppose." Dropping her head to catch his lips in a sweet kiss she draped her arms over his shoulders.

After a few heated minutes they pulled apart. "C'mon then. We should get you ready to go."

xxx xxx

Roxy headed to the clubhouse that evening after work. Juice was already there for the vote they had on Jax going Nomad. She figured after the vote maybe they could try telling her dad. Probably not the best time but they both seemed to be sick of keeping it on the down low. There'd be no good time to tell Clay and whatever his response would be tonight would be no different.

Sitting around outside with her Ma and Tara the ladies waited for the guys to be done. They knew it wouldn't be a happy occasion either way. If they voted for Jax to stay he'd resent them if they voted for him to leave, well, he'd be leaving.

When the doors to the clubhouse opened and Jax came out it was obvious the way the vote fell.

Roxy and Gemma let Tara go over to him and Gemma turned to her daughter.

"I have a plan. It's time we tell them." Gemma squeezed her daughter's shoulder and made her way over to Jax.

Stunned at her Mum's sudden change of heart she followed.

"I need to talk to you."

Jax sighed. "It's done Ma."

"Meet me at my house." She looked between Jax and Tara. "Both of you."

Gemma motioned for Roxy to follow and they made their way to the clubhouse.

"I'm going to get Clay. You get Juice and meet me back at home."

"You sure about this Ma?"

"You've only been on at me to tell them for weeks Roxy." She sighed. "Yeah. This club needs a healing."


	23. Chapter 23

Roxy got Juice to come to her parents house under the guise of telling them about their relationship.

She felt guilty about taking him there under false pretences. However this was Gemma's secret to tell and although it involved her and Juice it was important for her Ma to be in control of the information.

As they walked up the steps to the front door Juice turned to Roxy.

"You sure about this?" He looked down at their joined hands.

"Of course baby." She gave his hand a squeeze. "Having second thoughts are we?"

He looked up into her eyes then. "Never babe." He leant in and gave her a soft kiss.

"Alright then." She tried her best to smile at him, unsure how he'd react to this whole thing.

When they moved inside Jax, Tara, Gemma and Clay were already sat at the table.

Clay and Jax stood as they watched Roxy and Juice enter the room. Hands no longer joined together.

"Juice? What are you doing here?" Clay was on edge already and wondered why his intelligence officer was here with his daughter.

Gemma ignored the question and cut in. "Sit down boys."

Clay looked at his wife questioningly but obliged and sat at the head of the table.

"You too doctor. You know what it is I have to tell them."

Tara looked just as confused at Juice's presence. But didn't question it.

Juice gingerly sat next to Roxy who was seated next to her mum. He tried to catch her eyes but she was actively looking away. He couldn't help but feel he was walking into an ambush.

"What is this?" Clay looked between the three women who had knowing looks on their faces.

Gemma sighed and looked down at her hands. Roxy moved one of hers to squeeze her mother's in reassurance.

"The night of Bobby's party. We didn't get into an accident driving home."

The guys eyes flitted between the three women. Juice was feeling increasingly out of his depth and Clay eyed him suspiciously.

"We were attacked." Gemma looked down at her and her daughter's intertwined hands.

"Minivan pulls up behind us. A girl jumps out in a panic - says her baby's choking. The girl was very convincing. We get out to help. But it was a god damn doll in a car seat." Clay was watching his wife intently now. He could see where this was going. "Hit me with a black jack or something. Then grabbed Roxy."

Their eyes shot to Roxy now as if looking for confirmation. Juice grabbed her hand now and she tried giving it a reassuring squeeze. Jax and Clay both eyed them curiously but allowed Gemma to continue.

"I came to handcuffed to a chain link fence. Roxy opposite me. Utility house, out by the access road. They wore masks. There were three of them." Jax glanced between Roxy and Gemma. He knew what she was coming but prayed he was wrong. "One who spoke. I knew his voice. Tatt on his throat. Zobelle's right hand. Weston. They had photos of Roxy and Juice."

She pulled the envelope from beside her chair and emptied the photos on the table. Roxy's eyes widened, she'd given the envelope to her mum for safe keeping. She just prayed she had taken the rather compromising photo out. That was the last way her dad and brother needed to find out about their relationship.

Clay chose now to speak up as he eyed the photos. "What's this?"

Roxy took over from her mum. "Juice and I have been seeing each other." Jax and Clay's heads snapped to Juice. "These guys seem to have it out for us for some reason. Took these to threaten us with."

"What the fuck Roxy?" Juice whispered.

Gemma cut in again as Roxy tried to comfort Juice, who was becoming increasingly frustrated.

"They wanted us to deliver a message to you. Stop selling guns to colour. Said if I didn't tell you they'd find us and do what they did to me to Roxy." Gemma looked to Tara who nodded slightly in encouragement. She sighed before looking at Clay. "They raped me. All three of them. More than once."

Jax slammed his hand on the table causing the three women to jump. After a second he moved around the table to grasp his mother's hands. He kissed them before dropping a kiss to his sister's head and moving back to Clay and squeezing his shoulder.

Jax nodded to Tara, who stood up, and then to Juice. "Take care of her. We'll talk tomorrow."

Juice nodded and Jax left.

Roxy tried to catch Juice's hand but he moved it subtly away from her and gathered up the photos which were scattered over the table.

Clay was just staring at his wife, stunned by the recent revelation. After a minute or two he leaned forward and grasped her hands in his. Roxy took this as their cue to leave. She nudged Juice who was leafing through the photos.

As they stood up to leave, Gemma thanked Roxy and Clay turned to Juice.

"As Jax said look after her tonight. We'll be talking tomorrow morning." He levelled Juice with a calculating glare. As if daring him to challenge the orders.

"Of course." Juice awkwardly moved towards the door. Not waiting for Roxy to follow.

They had taken his bike there tonight, at the time Juice had finally been excited about being able to have her openly ride bitch on his bike. Now he wished she'd taken her car. He didn't know what to feel about all this. He cared about her deeply so this news hurt him but at the same time he was livid she didn't tell him. The secret

had led to him being shivved in jail but also put her in insurmountable danger.

These guys had openly threatened her, knew where she lived judging by the photos and he had no idea what he'd do if she was raped like Gemma when he should have been able to protect her.

"Juice?" Roxy's voice penetrated his thoughts. He didn't realise he had just stopped in front of his bike, staring at the seat, fists clenched.

He ignored her, mounted the bike and motioned for her to climb on behind him.

As they made the drive to her apartment Roxy tried to snuggle close to him but she could feel him tense under her hands. She wasn't sure but he seemed angry and she couldn't fathom why it seemed to be directed at her.

The few times she had ridden bitch on his bike before he had relaxed into her as she pressed against him, loving the feeling of her hands on his stomach, or thighs depending on how frisky she was feeling. Right now he was angry with her for lying to him for so long and didn't want to be so close to her right now. But he would stay with her tonight to look after her, as per Clay's request, especially given how much danger she was in. But he just couldn't handle how hypocritical she had been about trusting him when she was the one who had been keeping such a huge secret.

By the time they got into her apartment she was really feeling the cold shoulder.

Sighing, Roxy threw her keys in the dish near the door and walked into the kitchen to grab the whiskey she kept there and two glasses. She could tell they would be having this out and she needed a drink to get through that.

Juice sat on her sofa and waited patiently for Roxy to pour them both a drink and start the conversation.

"So you're angry with me." It was an observation more than a question.

Juice just gulped some of his whiskey. "Shit I dunno Roxy. You kept something massive from me. Fuck you coulda got yourself hurt." He rubbed his hands over the strip of hair on his head in a frustrated motion. "Hell I got shivved in the back because of this! If I'd known I coulda watched myself better. The guys coulda watched me better."

"That's not what I wanted to happen obviously. But you don't understand. I had to keep this from you. For my Ma. It wasn't my story to tell."

"I get that. But you gotta use your head about this shit. Gemma had her reasons I'm sure but this was about you, about me too."

"I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say." She looked down at the glass in her hand and swirled the whiskey slightly before taking a sip.

"Yeah well me either."

Roxy felt his reaction was a bit unjust. She hadn't done this on purpose to piss him off.

"I don't understand why you're being shitty with me over this." Roxy could feel the tears brewing.

Juice let out a frustrated groan. "Because Roxy. You went on and on about me being faithful and honest and all that shit. Yet this whole time you've kept this massive secret from me. We're supposed to be in a relationship. We're supposed to be in this together. You wanted that and I've tried to give you that. You haven't."

Roxy stood up now and started pacing. He was being totally unfair. "I kept this from you to protect my Ma, to protect you, to protect the club. Fuck Juice, could you imagine what you guys would have done in the heat of the moment after finding out about this? Look at what you did after Chibs!" She levelled him with her gaze then. "I love you and I just wanted to keep you away from the mess that this was likely to cause."

Juice just gawked at her, waiting for her to realise what she had said. Roxy stared back as if to say 'what?'

"You don't get to say that to get out of this easy." He glared over at her.

"Say what?"

"That you love me."

Roxy rolled her eyes. "Well I do. And that's why I didn't want this to blow back on you." She sat back down next to him. "Believe me Juice. I wanted to tell you. Honestly I did. But like I said, it wasn't my secret to tell."

Juice groaned in frustration again. "I gotta be able to trust you as much as you need to trust me. I know your stance on Old Lady shit but when it comes to MC life I gotta know this shit Roxy. Especially if they're threatening both of us."

"I know. I'm sorry. I really am." She grasped his hand and leant her head against his shoulder. "God the whole time I was there all I could think about was you, being in bed with you, cuddling you, all that lame shit. I just wish you were there."

Juice wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him. "I know baby." He kissed the top of her head. "I love you too."

xxx xxx

Heading to the club the next morning, Juice felt the weight of the world on his shoulders. He'd followed Roxy to her Mum's to make sure she got there safely then kept going to the clubhouse.

Roxy had shown him the other photo that Gemma had luckily kept in the envelope last night, Juice had almost blown his lid when he saw it. He couldn't believe he hadn't noticed someone taking a photo through his window. And even angrier that someone has watched him and his girl like that. No one should see her but him. The possessive vibe that flowed through him at the thought shocked him at first.

Walking into the Chapel he could feel Clay and Jax's eyes boring holes into him. He chose to ignore it while the rest of his brothers were in the room.

As Clay and Jax began explaining what Gemma had told them last night it came out about he and Roxy's relationship. There were raised eyebrows and Tig seemed slightly pissed off, but Bobby clapped him on the back. However the reactions were short lived as Clay continued to tell them the rest of the story. Including the threat on Roxy.

As Roxy had predicted the guys were livid and there were calls for immediate and harsh retaliation.

Luckily Clay and Jax stepped in and demanded order. Juice wanted to steak his claim on Roxy's safety and assure the others he had her covered, however he thought it best he wait for his talk with Clay and Jax.

As the others slowly filed out of the room, stunned with the information, Jax and Clay motioned for Juice to stay. Standing near the door awkwardly Juice agreed.

"So you didn't think to tell us about you and Roxanna?"

Juice shifted awkwardly on his feet. "I... Just... She wanted to keep it quiet for a bit." He offered hopelessly.

Clay considered his answer. "Don't you think it's something you outta tell your president? When you're screwing around with his daughter?" Clay was beginning to lose his temper. With everything he'd recently found out about her and Gemma he wasn't in the mood for any more surprises.

"With all due respect Clay we ain't 'screwing around'." It was Juice's turn to be angry now.

"So what? She your Old Lady now?"

Juice shrugged. "Not sure. You know she isn't keen on that title."

Jax spoke up now. "You want her to be?"

"Course I do. But it's up to her." Juice held Jax's gaze.

"You gunna fuck around on her?"

"Haven't yet and don't plan on it."

Jax turned to Clay. "Good enough for me. Juicy boy will look after her."

Clay rolled his eyes. "I have my doubts. But whatever."

It was obvious the conversation was over and Clay left the room, brushing past Juice on the way out.

Juice clenched his fists in frustration. He knew they should have been up front about this a while ago. Clay's reaction just added to his annoyance with Roxy for keeping this secret from him.

Jax must have seen Juice's frustration and spoke up. "Don't worry bout him brother. He'll get over it. Hell he's wanted her to be an Old Lady for years. He got his wish."

"S'pose."

Jax made his way over. "C'mon. Think we need a drink." He clapped Juice's shoulder and pulled him out to the bar.

xxx xxx

Roxy had an interesting breakfast at her Mum's. Unfortunately Gemma was a bit depressed now Clay knew. Said MC men like to "own their pussy", and she was worried now that Clay would stray.

Roxy figured it didn't make much difference, she knew he took full advantage of the run rules anyways. He always had and she figured he always will.

However her Mum's comments made her worried about the state of her relationship with Juice. She thought they had sorted shit out last night. But where did he stand on stuff like this.

With that thought she made her way to the clubhouse to see how he was. Plus she had to face the rest of the guys at some point.

Making her way into the barroom Roxy caught Juice's eye straight away. Pushing aside his frustration he made his way over to greet her. Finally happy that he can openly claim his girl.

He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her into him for a quick kiss before pulling her to the bar.

"So that's why you were visiting our little Rican yesterday?" Bobby smirked as he poured everyone some more shots. He was trying to avoid the other depressing subject matter.

"That and I felt sorry for him." Roxy chuckled as she set herself between Juice's legs as he sat on a bar stool.

xxx xxx

Roxy spent the rest of the morning milling round the clubhouse as the guys busied themselves with, what she was assuming was, retaliation business.

After a while she made her way over to the TM office to see if there was any work needing doing in there. That's when she spotted Tig and Opie.

At first she thought they were just talking about the bike Ope was working on, then it looked like an argument before Opie launched at Tig. Roxy watched for s brief moment but she soon realised Ope was going to beat the shit out of Tig.

She ran over to try break up the fight, calling the attention of the others as she went. When she reached their side she couldn't believe what she was hearing.

Tig had killed Donna.

Her Uncle Tig.

Stepping back, Roxy allowed the guys to sort everything out. Juice squeezed her arm briefly, seeking assurance she was ok before running off to call Tara as he was told.

Roxy was just glad he hadn't heard what she had. Jax snapped her attention back to the present and asked her to take Tig to his dorm and start cleaning him up.

Before she got too far from the group Jax stopped her and quietly whispered. "Not a soul finds out what you heard here. Yeah?"

Roxy, still stunned, nodded in agreement. "Course Jax."

"Not even Juice. Club can't know this shit."

"Yeah. You have my word." She turned back and made her way to Tig who was halfway to the door now.

Linking her arm in his for support she could feel him lean into her. He'd thought, after this, no one would care about him again. But here was Roxy literally offering him a shoulder.

As they made their way wearily to the clubhouse Roxy couldn't help but notice the bad feeling she had, that all this was just the start of turmoil for the club.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: thanks for the reviews. Glad people are enjoying this. :)**

The following day Roxy was staying close around the clubhouse. She had taken some leave from work while the club sorted all this stuff out. They weren't taking any chances now that they knew.

After busting herself in the office most of the morning, Roxy decided to head outside for a smoke. Deciding to check the garage first she wandered through.

No one else was around except Chibs, who was sitting solemnly on one of the stools next to his toolbox.

"Chibs? Everything ok? You feeling alright?" She was a bit worried given his recent injury.

He looked up, eyes glassy, "yeah m'fine everything's fine."

She hesitated and decided to go over to him, pulling a stool as she went. "No offence Chibs but it doesn't really look like that."

He sighed. "Ever done something that's made you feel wretched... Protecting someone you loved?" He looked up at her now and she could see the conflict and pain in his eyes.

"S'pose."

He looked back down and started to cry.

"Chibs." She didn't know what to do other than pat his back comfortingly.

"I've dug myself a good one kid. Jesus. I've got no idea how to get out."

He broke down fully now and Roxy just hugged him. It startled her to see him so vulnerable. She had never seen Chibs like this before and it was super unlike any of them to let Roxy in on club stuff like this.

"What do I do?"

"Tell them. Whatever it is. It's the only way out of the hole." She shrugged.

Chibs looked in her eyes and nodded. He seemed to steel himself before standing up. "D'ya know what love? Don't know what we'd do without you n your Ma. We love ya." He bent over and kissed her forehead before making his way across the lot to the clubhouse.

Chibs' behaviour only solidified the feeling Roxy had in her gut about the club and its current standing. After what she witnessed with Tig yesterday, everything with Zobelle and his crew, things were just heating up around here.

xxx xxx

Juice had luckily managed to stay out of his brothers' way most of the day, collecting everyone's guns and doing a stocktake. He hoped he was proving himself useful to Clay whilst also avoiding the constant jokes and comments made to him regarding Roxy.

He had thought given recent developments that they guys would be more concerned for her safety and less concerned with their love life. But that was apparently not going to happen.

Sitting in Church they were trying to make a plan and garner information regarding Zobelle and their current situation. But Juice's mind kept drifting back to Roxy and the previous night. They had talked some more about their relationship, something he did not enjoy, but spent the rest of the evening in bed together, something that he did enjoy. Thus making it hard for him to concentrate on what was an important meeting.

They were just starting to get somewhere when Chibs interrupted looking distraught. He opened up about his pending deal with Stahl, all to protect his estranged wife and daughter. Juice knew a little about their relationship and how Jimmy O had broken them up and sent Chibs away fearing for his life. Stahl was taking advantage of his hate for Jimmy O and love for his family.

Juice was starting to understand that love and how it could be easily manipulated. After finding out what happened to Gemma and Roxy and the current threat on Roxy's safety, he knew he'd do anything to protect her so he didn't fault his brother on that.

Clay and Opie shared a look before Clay spoke. "You didn't make the deal. You ain't no rat."

"Thank you brothers."

Just as they moved to wrap up the meeting Piney burst through the Chapel doors, all guns blazing. Literally. And fired at Clay.

Before Juice had a chance to figure out what was going on they had all jumped up to break it up.

xxx xxx

Roxy had been enjoying her smoke on one of the picnic benches when Piney strode by purposefully.

Roxy tried to say hi but he blanked her and stormed into the clubhouse, a man on a mission.

Shrugging her shoulders at his weird behaviour she continued her smoke. Until she heard the shots fired in the clubhouse. She knew she shouldn't but Roxy dropped the smoke and bolted into the clubhouse. As she entered she could hear the commotion in the Chapel and unsure whether to go in or not she waited at the bar.

After a moment everyone left the Chapel, except Piney and Opie. Her dad looked livid and Roxy figured he must have been the target of Piney's rage. Knowing what Tig had done, under Clay's orders she guessed, Roxy made her way over to her dad.

"You ok dad?"

Clay poured himself a shot of bourbon.

"Fine sweetheart." He gave her a one armed hug before she moved over to Juice.

"What was all that about?" She whispered to him.

"I got no fuckin' idea." Juice downed some of the beer he'd grabbed.

xxx xxx

After the commotion this afternoon Roxy was glad to just chill in Juice's room for a bit.

Deciding she had best get up she tidied herself up and made her way to the bar for a drink.

After mixing a strong vodka and Coke she made her way outside for a smoke. Tara, Lyla and her mum were already there sitting at the picnic tables so Roxy joined them.

"About time you rose, sleeping beauty." Gemma stubbed out her smoke.

"Funny." Roxy rolled her eyes and gulped down half of her drink, enjoying the burn down her throat. She definitely needed this to quiet everything going on in her head.

Before they could go into more conversation the doors to the clubhouse opened and the guys all filed out.

Clay made his way over to them told the girls to "be good to them, it's been a rough day."

Roxy definitely agreed with that and waited for Juice to make his way over to her.

Roxy was sitting on top of the table with a drink in one hand and smoke in the other. Juice couldn't believe how good she looked to him right then. Figure hugging jeans, low cut tank top and loose fitting cardigan just made her look so welcoming. He made his way over to her and stood in between her legs, relieved he could finally touch her whenever he wanted. He needed to right now.

He bent down and captured her lips in a slow kiss. Pulling back slightly, hands on her hips he asked simply, "my place?"

Roxy nodded, threw her smoke onto the lot and downed the rest of her drink. There had to be at least 4 shots in it so she figured if they were taking his bike they best hurry up before she lost the ability to hold on.

They quickly made their way back to his dorm to grab a few things, stopping for a couple of shots at the bar with Tig on the way.

By the time they made it back to his bike most people had cleared off home and Roxy was starting to feel the effects of the alcohol. It relaxed her, made her forget about everything causing drama at the moment.

Grabbing Juice's hand, Roxy bumped her hip into his before squeezing his ass. Juice looked down at her, eyebrows raised before pushing her against the railing behind the bikes.

Roxy dropped her bag as Juice lifted her up onto the railing, standing between her legs, hands on her hips. As they made out Roxy couldn't help but moan softly and tighten her legs around his waist.

After a few minutes Juice pulled back, if he didn't stop now they'd end up doing it right there in the lot and that was something he did not want his Pres or VP to see if they happened to still be around.

"Babe, we gotta go."

Roxy replied by sliding one of her hands from his neck down to his belt buckle while trying to pull him back in for a kiss.

Juice was quick though, laughing he pulled back farther and tugged her down off the railing.

"C'mon, on my bike."

Roxy adjusted her top and slung her bag over her back and climbed on behind him.

As they took off out the lot, Roxy couldn't help but press herself further into him, the combination of the alcohol and Juice's closeness were not helping her libido.

Roxy pressed kisses along the part of his neck she could reach while dragging her hands up his thighs towards his crotch. She could feel him tense underneath her and shift slightly in his seat and smirked.

He tried to grab her hands with one of his when she started massaging his crotch. He could feel her clench her legs around him, trying to press herself closer.

He breathed a sigh of relief when they arrived at his street. He wasn't sure he'd last much longer.

After he flicked his kick stand down and hopped off his bike he helped Roxy dismount. Juice was fumbling with his keys, trying to open his door, which was really hard with Roxy's hands roaming his body.

As soon as he got the door open and both of them inside he slammed her back against the door and claimed her lips with his. Roxy responded in kind and the pair had hands all over with lips following.

Roxy's hand was at his belt buckle before Juice even knew what was happening. The feel of Roxy's soft hand on his hard cock blanked his mind for a moment. Clearly the alcohol had quite an effect on Roxy, he could barely keep up.

He tried to pull her towards the hallway to his room but Roxy was too forceful so they settled on the sofa. Roxy pushed him so he was sitting down and straddled his lap, her lips kissing his jaw down to his neck while she ground her hips onto him. Juice made short work of her top and mouthed over her bra while his hands attempted to undo her pants.

After a couple more heated minutes he was inside her and they worked towards their release.

Hearing Roxy call his name just pushed him over the edge and when they finished he couldn't get over how lucky he was to have her, and he promised he was going to keep her.

xxx xxx

The pair woke up early the next morning, much to Roxy's dismay. She had a killer hangover and quite a few bruises from their heated night. Roxy had no idea what came over her, she had never been that forthright with a guy in the bedroom before. But Juice seemed to have loved it. He was usually the dominant one in the bedroom, which Roxy didn't mind. Juice was a bit of a softy when it came to the rest of the guys but when he was riled up or having a good time in the bedroom there was no mistaking how he fit into outlaw lifestyle. Roxy loved that juxtaposition in his personality. He cared about her but at the same time wasn't afraid to be rough or passionate.

Last night though he let her take the reigns and she had to admit she enjoyed it.

Today however they were off to the clubhouse for lockdown. The guys had come up with a plan for taking down Zobelle, Weston, and their little gang, and while that played out everyone vulnerable and close to the club was to be locked down.

Roxy didn't mind lockdowns. She'd been to a few as a kid and then teenager before she left. It was usually a good excuse to muck around or get drunk so she was keen. It would hopefully settle the nagging feeling in her gut. She just couldn't escape the feeling that something was going to go wrong.

xxx xxx

By the time Roxy had unloaded her stuff in Juice's room the clubhouse was full. She wandered out into the bar area searching for Juice or someone else she could hang out with.

Spotting him over at the other side of the room she made her way over to where he and Happy were messing around. He slung his arm over her shoulder and pulled her in to kiss her temple while they listened to Clay address the crowd.

"People have already been hurt on my watch. Ain't gunna let it happen again." Clay punctuated this point by looking at Roxy and then Gemma. "If you have a safety concern you talk to Piney, any comfort concerns speak to my queen."

With that everyone hooted and hollered and the guys got ready to ride out.

Roxy managed to steal a brief moment with Juice before the guys made their way to their bikes.

Holding the front of his kutte, Roxy stood up to catch his lips with hers. "Don't do anything too crazy. Please."

Roxy's eyes were slightly glassy, showing her concern for his safety.

"Course not babe. But they gotta pay for this shit."

"Sure."

He gave her a reassuring squeeze and a final kiss before mounting his bike ready to follow the others.


	25. Chapter 25

Juice spent the day talking to Weston then staking out Zobelle's cigar shop. Things were a bit tense given the Mayans MC were helping Zobelle. Juice had been tasked with Watch duty and had been left with a couple of the Nomads.

Shit was pretty tense there given the Mayans were big rivals of SAMCRO but so long as they kept to their side of the street things would be ok.

The more Juice watched Zobelle through the window the angrier he got. This was the guy who put an order out on his girlfriend. Who threatened her continuously after, with rape. What sort of guy does that. Not that he even committed the act on Gemma but he ordered it.

God as soon as they got their hands on these guys and their crew they were dead.

xxx xxx

Roxy was keeping herself busy round the clubhouse, helping out where possible, to keep her mind off the guys. She didn't know the details of whatever it was they were doing but she knew it'd be dangerous. If not physically dangerous it was definitely bound to be legally dangerous given they were currently out on bail.

Roxy had spent most of the day with Tara who was still super unsure of her place within the club. It made her uneasy being waited on by the Croweaters and Sweet Butts. Not Roxy though, she'd been used to this treatment her whole life. Given her relation to the club she had always been given a certain respect. However that respect was changing slightly now she was with Juice and on her way to becoming his Old Lady. A lot of the crow eaters liked Juice, he was known as a good lay, and although he didn't carry an office title within the club he was younger than the others and easy on the eyes so he had been hot property among them for some time. Roxy had never been a threat to the eaters or sweet butts before as she genuinely hadn't been interested in that part of club life so as a result she was off their radar. Now though she had taken a popular club member away from them and so she was receiving the cold shoulder.

Gemma, Tara and Roxy had just been given some coffee by one of the crow eaters and Gemma was schooling Tara on her place in the club.

"You too Roxy. They know your position demands respect. They're just huffy you've taken Juice away from them. But don't let em get away with pissy behaviour."

"Yeah I know. I don't really care though what they think to be honest." Roxy stirred her coffee.

"Well you should. If they see a chance they'll be all up on Juice again. Gotta remind em who's boss baby."

Roxy responded by nodding and rolling her eyes when Gemma wasn't looking. This was one of the reasons she wasn't interested in becoming an Old Lady. Club politics.

They were distracted from their conversations when one of the guys brought Chucky inside. He'd been burnt slightly and Tara had to spend some time patching him up.

Eventually the club members made their way back in and headed in for Church, Juice giving Roxy a quick kiss on the way in.

When the guys finally came out it was almost dusk and they looked ready to roll.

Roxy managed to corner Juice at his bike for a second.

She slid her arms around his neck. "What are you doing?"

"Meeting Weston and some of his guys gunna sort it out."

"Huh. Sounds ominous."

Juice had his hands on her waist and gave her a squeeze. "Yeah kinda."

"Just be careful yeah?"

"Course. Love ya." He gave her a long, slow kiss before letting go and mounting his bike. "See you later babe."

Roxy moved over to Gemma and Tara while they watched the guys ride out.

Again Roxy worried about what this would mean. 'Sorting it out' could mean any number of things with the club and Roxy just hoped that whatever happened that her guys would be back in one piece.

xxx xxx

It was after midnight when Roxy finally made it to Juice's dorm. She had stayed up drinking with Harley who had arrived at the clubhouse later in the evening having spent the day with her aunt.

Once again the alcohol had a good effect on Roxy and after smoking a joint she found in Juice's drawer she was finally relaxed enough to attempt going to sleep.

She had just started drifting off when she heard the boots in the hallway and Juice fumbling with his key to open the door. After a muffled good night to someone else he made his way into the room.

He didn't turn on the light, unsure if Roxy was asleep or not. He hoped to god she was awake, he needed a release after the fight, the adrenaline was still pumping through his veins after they'd been cut off early by the police.

He stripped off his clothes and placed them neatly in the hamper in the corner. He stood in his boxers, eyeing Roxy's form in the bed, whilst shifting with nervous energy. He'd been so close to actually beating the life out of one of the guys before the cops showed and effectively ended the fight. These men had threatened to violate his girl and he was more than happy to end them.

Watching Roxy's still form in his bed he decided to get in. Her hair was fanned out around her and she was wearing a pair of blue booty shorts and a singlet. He could just make it out in the light leaking in from the corridor.

Sliding in behind her, Juice placed slipped his hands under her singlet, relishing the softness of her skin.

Roxy was awake and stirred against him, inadvertently rubbing her ass against his crotch and this set him off.

With the energy still rushing over him from and the fight he flipped her over and moved himself over her.

"Juice baby, what happened?" She Was trying to elicit information about their activities that evening but he was more interested in her body right now.

"Fight." He mumbled against her neck as he lathed her with kisses.

Roxy tried to push him over so she could straddle him but he just grunted and pushed her back into the mattress and grabbed both her hands with his and pulled them above her head. He needed to be in charge tonight. Roxy just responded by pushing her hips up into his, desperate for that friction.

Juice was rough and hard, Roxy didn't mind though, with everything that had been going on the last few days, weeks, she needed this release too.

Roxy was holding on to the headboard as he took her from behind. Neither worried about the noise they were making, despite the fact her brother was in a room a few doors down. Juice bit into the back of her shoulder as he came and Roxy collapsed, panting, onto the bed.

After they'd recovered slightly Roxy rolled into Juice who was now lighting up, lying down next to her.

"So what was that about?" She questioned. Roxy loved the dominant side of Juice, but tonight he was unusually hard, almost punishing, but she'd liked it. "Not that I'm complaining."

Juice exhaled his toke. "Just an adrenaline rush I guess. Was pretty hyped up tonight."

"What went down? You guys had a fight?"

"Yeah we'd arranged it. 10 of his best against 10 of ours. Fair fight. But cops showed up and stopped us before we could finish it."

"Shit huh." Roxy snuggled in closer to him.

"Yeah. I swear we almost had em." He clenched his fist and tensed his jaw remembering just how close he was to getting that one guy. He'd admitted to being the one who took the pictures of them. Said a whole heap of nasty shit to wind Juice up. Then just as it was about to get good they were interrupted. The guy had to drag himself away.

"Why so tense?" Roxy attempted to calm him by smoothing her hand down his chest.

Juice sighed as he exhaled. "I almost had the guy who had taken the photos. Man he was sayin some rough shit about you, me, us." He fidgeted with his joint for a second. "I was so ready to kill him Rox. And I've never been that mad before."

Roxy pecked him on the cheek. "Don't let it get to you babe. They'll get what's theirs. Not tonight but it'll come."

"It better. Coz the shit he was sayin about you..." He hesitated a second, "it's best not repeated."

Roxy shuddered slightly. "Don't worry. It's done now."

"Yeah it is. No ones fucking touching you now." He turned to face her, eyes burning still. "You're mine."

xxx xxx

The next morning everyone woke up early to head to the station, eager to find out what was happening to Weston and Zobelle, who it turns out was also arrested last night, though Roxy was sketchy on the details of that one.

Roxy sat between Juice's outstretched legs on the hood of one of the police cruisers next to Chibs.

They shared a joint between them, with Juice occasionally planting a kiss on Roxy's shoulders, left bare by her corset style tank top. Truth be told he was feeling slightly guilty for last night. When they'd woken up in the morning Roxy was quite sore and he'd noticed the bruises he'd left on her hips, and the bite mark on the back of her shoulder. They could be rough in bed but last night they'd gotten carried away. Juice was eager to claim Roxy as his, even though he didn't need to he felt like he had to in his mind. Roxy was just wanting a distraction from the craziness the past few weeks had been. She needed to just feel something passionate and normal for once.

Roxy squeezed his thighs with her hands.

"Alright Juice?" She leaned her head back against his chest.

Juice threw the roach on the ground and nodded against her. "Yeah babe. Just tired."

Roxy snickered. "I'll bet." Needing a change in conversation she asked him something that had been bugging her since last night. It felt weird calling out Juice in the throes of passion. However she had never really called him anything other than Juice or Ortiz. Neither of which were personal. "What should I call you? Like Juice is your nickname, your club name, it's not really intimate. And I'm way too white to call you Juan Carlos all the time."

Juice let out a laugh at her attempted Spanish accent when she said his full name. "I dunno babe. Call me whatever you want."

"Jackass it is then."

Chibs, who'd been listening in on their conversation let out a laugh now. "Sounds about right lass."

Juice nudged him. "I dunno Rox. I don't mind you calling me Juan or JC or something. Whatever."

Roxy thought for a moment. "Even though JC sounds like Jay Z I can handle that."

They straightened up when Unser came out to fill them in on the latest, all joking conversations aside. The guys were not impressed with the news. Both guys were being released. However at the same time that meant they could serve them with their own style of justice.

Plans were being made with the guys so Roxy, Tara and Lyla decided to head into town to grab some stuff before heading back to the clubhouse. Poor Half Sack was tasked with baby sitting duty again. Not that he minded.

xxx xxx

Roxy and Gemma waited outside the grocery store for Tara to finish up. That's when he women both notices Zobelle's daughter just a few shops up.

Gemma eyed Roxy for a moment, clearly a plan forming in her head.

"Baby I gotta do this."

Roxy knew what her mum meant and nodded her head in agreeance.

"You go back to the clubhouse and run interference with the guys."

"You sure about this Ma?"

"100% baby. Little bitch has gotta pay for this. The guys are out doing their thing I gotta do mine."

"Sure. Ok I'll get one of the guys to come get me."

xxx xxx

One of the guys from the Tacoma charter had come to pick up Roxy and take her back from the clubhouse. She wasn't 100% sure what her Mum's plan was, but she was supportive of it. That little bitch needed to get what was coming to her.

It wasn't long before Jax and some of the others came back, looking somewhat relieved. Jax came over to the bar and slung an arm over Roxy's shoulders.

"It's done." He said, downing the shot that was poured for him.

"Really?"

"Well Weston anyways. Won't be bothering you again."

Roxy hugged him back and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Thanks bro. Where are the rest of them?"

"Don't worry. Your boy is safe. They're sorting out Zobelle."

Roxy let out a deep breath and accepted the shot she was poured.

"Proud of you Jax." Happy raised his shot glass in a toast.

"Sons!" They all cheered, slamming their glasses down and getting ready to go again.

"Hey where's Ma and Tara?" Jax stopped on his way out.

"Oh just at the shops. They've got Sack with them."

"Ah cool."

Happy clapped Roxy on the back, excited with all this violent retribution. Roxy gave him a smile as they all left again.

xxx xxx

Sitting on tenterhooks waiting for the guys to come back Roxy and Harley decided to raid the bar for tequila. Harley still couldn't believe what had happened with Roxy and Gemma and so drinking together was cheering them both up.

"Hey Rox, Hale's on the phone for you." The Tacoma member behind the bar held out the bar phone for her.

"Hale?"

"Yeah Roxy? I've got some bad news. The guys asked me to call you before they left."

The first few thoughts that ran through Roxy's mind were catastrophic. Was it Jax? Juice? Her mum?

"What's happened?" She asked gravely.

"Well your mum is being hunted by the ATF. 2 counts of murder."

Roxy's stomach plummeted at the thought. How the fuck did this go so wrong.

"Oh my god. She couldn't have."

"I'm afraid that's not all Rox. There's been an incident at Jax's. Kipp was killed and Abel has been kidnapped. I'm over here now if you want to come round. Tara's in bad shape."

Not wanting to hear any more Roxy hung up and turned to Kozik.

"Get your keys. We gotta go to Jax's. Abel's been kidnapped."


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: again thanks for the reviews and your opinions. I have a fairly set idea of where I want this to go. However if you have any suggestions, comments or criticisms please feel free to PM me and let me know.**

The past few days had been hectic. Due to Gemma being on the run Roxy and Harley had to step up in terms of helping organise Half Sack's funeral. Roxy couldn't believe he was gone, he was so young, fun, and full of life and now he was just gone.

Jax was completely out of it. Roxy had been to see him a couple of times but he was drunk and high so she had to just leave him to it. Watching Abel being taken away on the boat killed him and knowing there was nothing he could do about it was worse.

So far there were no leads. Juice was spending every waking minute down at the clubhouse searching whatever he could on the computer to come up with something. The rest had their ears to the ground listening for anything that would help.

Roxy was staying at the clubhouse with Juice. They figured it was best until they knew exactly what was going on. Plus with Juice being there searching it meant they could still spend some time together. Roxy had taken indefinite unpaid leave from her job. It would probably bankrupt her and set her career back but the hospital understood after hearing what happened to her nephew and friend.

The worst thing was not being able to talk to her mum about it all; Abel, Jax, sorting out the club. She didn't know about Abel. That had been Clay's call. He knew if Gemma found out about Abel's disappearance there'd be no keeping her away from Charming and then she'd be screwed thanks to Stahl framing her.

Roxy was currently sitting on Juice's bed making notes of what she needed to buy for the clubhouse given there were so many lodgers staying from other charters to help out. Juice was busy talking on his burner phone whilst typing something in the computer.

"Thanks bro." He flipped the phone closed and jumped up. "We got a lead babe."

Roxy sat up too. "You do?!"

"Yup. Gotta go, I'll let you know what happens." He gave her a swift kiss, grabbed his kutte and bolted out the door to find the others.

xxx xxx

They spent the morning following Juice's lead meeting with Laroy and some guy he knew that had sold Cameron a passport and some papers. Unfortunately he hadn't made a child's papers. Which meant either Abel was somewhere in the country still while Cameron fled, or the worst option, Abel was dead.

Jax had immediately jumped to that conclusion but the rest of the guys decided to stay positive. For his sake. Plus they had no solid evidence either way.

Their next lead had led them to the docks and then on another wild goose chase through the back streets to a yard full of bangers who, once again did not know where Abel was despite having bought the boat off Cameron.

Now they were back to square one and at the clubhouse again. Juice was sitting in one of the booths with Roxy snuggled into his lap. She was just as disheartened as Jax but she was trying not to go down the same dark path in her mind. Snuggling up to Juice was helping that.

As their relationship developed, especially now it was public and they were no longer hiding secrets, she was becoming way more comfortable within herself and relying on Juice. Something she needed since being with Matt. It was nice to have a guy actually take care of her and take an interest in her wellbeing. Rather than destroy it. Although it was under shit circumstances it was nice to know she could rely on Juice for things.

"I'm worried about Jax though babe. I don't think he'll ever recover if something actually happens to Abel." Roxy was toying with the rings on the fingers of the hand he has rested on her thigh. The other gripped a beer.

"Yeah he's gone off the deep end a bit."

"So long as he can pull himself together long enough for Sack's wake." She fiddled with one ring in particular. A heavy skull one which she knew he had worn in the fight the other night given she'd watched him clean it when he got back. The stress of the club turmoil at the moment had Juice's compulsions on high alert. His dorm was even more spotless and orderly than usual, and his showers were becoming longer and more frequent by the day. Roxy was sure that if he kept it up he'd be showering after every time he stepped out of the room.

So on top of everything else Roxy was trying to keep Juice on the straight and narrow too so he'd actually be of use to the guys. Given that he wasn't medicated Roxy knew that if he let them his compulsions could take over and once you went down that route it was a hard way back.

xxx xxx

Roxy smoothed out her black dress and threw on her leather jacket over the top. She rushed out into the barroom to meet the others before they headed off to Sack's wake.

She had been running late thanks to the fact she had to iron Juice's shirt to oblivion so it was perfect for him. He would have done it himself but he was neck deep in computer chasing for Abel.

As they rolled out, with Roxy carefully perched on the back of Juice's bike, the lot reverberated with the sound of Harley tailpipe. There were loads of members here from a lot of different charters.

Dubrowski's funeral home was even more packed.

Roxy made her way through the crowd to Sack's casket. It warmed her heart that they'd patched him in posthumously. He'd have been chuffed with that.

Roxy and Sack weren't especially close, given that she'd not been back all that long. And with him still being a prospect he wasn't particularly included in things with her. However on the times they'd managed to hang out or he'd been tasked with babysitting her, he'd been a sweet guy. And at the end of the day he'd given his life to protect her nephew. Sack had already laid his life on the line for his country when he served over seas. So for him to die for her nephew was a big deal.

Kneeling in front of the casket Roxy said a quick prayer before kissing her hand and placing it on the kutte.

After Roxy retreated the rest of the SAMCRO made their way in to pay their respects. Roxy gave them space and made her way over to where Harley and Tara were standing. Harley was still rather emotional given her Mum's funeral was only a few days ago in the same place. Luann's had been peaceful, well as peaceful as it gets with a bunch of porn stars in the room. But Luann would have gotten a kick out of it. Her sister sure did.

After a few moments the guys made their way back over, Juice slinging an arm around Roxy's shoulder, silently claiming her in front of the unfamiliar MC brothers who had been eyeing her.

Roxy let her head rest on his side as he led her out the front. Juice, Chibs, Opie, Lyla, Roxy and Tara stood out the front to wait on the others. Lighting up a smoke Roxy curled more into Juice's side.

They made small talk with Kozik and some of the other Tacoma guys who had made the trip for Sack.

Eventually Clay and Jax appeared and the group made their way to the front. Just as they neared the road, Roxy heard a van's engine revving. And as if in total slow motion she saw the door slide open and a machine gun barrel point out. Just as it opened fire the group stopped and Juice shoved Roxy to the floor.

The sound of the firing seemed to go on for hours, and when it stopped everything was too quiet. At first Roxy could hear nothing. Then after a couple of seconds she could hear Juice's ragged breathing as he laid over her, as if someone was slowly turning up the volume Roxy started to hear the screams and shouts of all those around them.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: as always feedback is appreciated :)**

The next day was hectic for Juice and he could feel himself bending under the pressure. Jax had been arrested last night at the wake. He had gone nuts and beat the shit out of the shooter, though Juice didn't blame him he felt like doing the same thing.

They'd picked him up from the station that morning and made their way to the hospital to find out who the shooter was. The bad news is that he was part of some shitty MC in Loda, Calaveras, who were patching over to the Mayans, hence the drive by.

Now, as a way of getting Abel back, they were being yelled at by Bobby's crazy ex wife, Precious. Her husband was a bounty hunter and had access to certain databases Juice couldn't even hack into.

Once the yelling was done they came to an agreement with the bounty hunter that they helped him catch his latest bounty and he'd help them out.

Their foray into bounty hunting led them to an adult store to wait on some guy finishing his peep show before chasing him down.

Unluckily he bolted soon as he saw them and they had to give chase through the streets. Eventually the dude was hit by a car, thus ending their pursuit.

"Damn hybrids. Dangerous!" Juice said out to Jax as they watched the guy groaning on the ground.

Juice was tasked with waiting behind for the info from Precious' husband while the rest of the guys made a move to the next thing.

xxx xxx

Roxy had been kept busy at the clubhouse all day just waiting for news from the guys. Juice had been texting her all afternoon while he waited around for the news. But he was back now and they were hanging out in his room waiting for an email to come through.

Roxy was trying to get him to relax but he was on edge, they were currently lying on the bed but he kept checking the notifications on his laptop waiting for this email, despite the fact he'd hear the notification beep.

"Babe, just relax for 5 seconds. You're gunna go nuts." Roxy was curled into his side, stroking her fingers down his arm, tracing the tattoos along the way.

"I'm already nuts." His attempt at a joke fell flat given his current state of mind.

Roxy stopped her tracing and pulled his head from the laptop to look at her.

She pulled him in for a kiss. "You're not nuts. Just kiss me babe. I'm worried too, need a distraction. You're usually pretty good at that."

This time Juice did chuckle and he pulled her over him so she was straddling him.

"I can manage that."

They were pretty deep into their make out session when Juice's laptop finally beeped, signalling the arrival of the email.

Juice practically threw Roxy off him in his haste to jump up and check the laptop.

"Sorry babe." He opened the email and pulled up the picture. Roxy peeked over his shoulder and let out a sigh of relief. Abel was alive, wherever he was.

Juice grabbed his phone and called Jax to come to the clubhouse then printed out the pictures.

They made their way out to the barroom to wait for Jax and the others to assemble. While they congregated in the chapel Roxy poured herself a drink. All this dancing around was making her nerves shot but thankfully it seemed they had some news on Abel.

It seemed he was in Vancouver. The photos the bounty hunter sent Juice were of Cameron and Abel buying train tickets. It was obvious Abel was alive and well. Which Jax was thankful for. Roxy could hear his audible sigh of relief from the chapel at her position at the bar.

Maybe things were starting to look up after all.

xxx xxx

Roxy arrived at her grandad's house the next day into some god awful mess.

Gemma had called Tara and Roxy asking for assistance up at her dad's. She was hiding out there while all this ATF stuff was going on. Tig was with her and they were supposed to be getting her dad ready to move into a home. However when Tara and Roxy arrived her grandad's live in Carer was tied up in the basement.

The three women stood around the Carer who was currently blindfolded and strapped into a wheelchair.

"Ma this is some fucked up shit."

"She was gunna rat on me. What the fuck was I supposed to do." Gemma replied, lighting up a smoke to calm her nerves.

"I dunno, not be a mental bitch for once?"

Gemma rolled her eyes. "C'mon. Let's go upstairs and figure this shit out."

By the time the ladies had made some coffee Tig was back with more bad news.

"Uh Nate's gone." He looked sheepishly at Gemma.

"Gone where?" She eyed him. He shrugged. "Fuck sake Tig."

xxx xxx

Things were going slightly better in Charming. The guys had all voted on accompanying Jax on a run to Vancouver. They'd take Gemma there to hide out while they searched for Abel.

Juice was excited to tell Roxy, maybe she'd come with them seeing as she was up with Gemma today. He wouldn't mind having his girl ride bitch with him all the way to Canada. Although the girls weren't usually allowed to be included in club business, but maybe Clay would let her tag along.

While Juice was dreaming about Roxy things at Nate's house had gone from bad to worse.

While they were all out searching for Nate, Tara had decided to check on the Carer, who had subsequently broken free of her restraints and knocked Tara out. Before she could escape however she bumped into Gemma and Roxy in the kitchen and Gemma had killed her.

Tig, Tara, Roxy and Gemma stood around the body trying to figure out what the hell to do next.

"Well the guys just called and they are coming up tomorrow. We gotta clean this shit up." Tig was shaking his head.

"Well what do we do?" Roxy questioned the older two.

"Call Bachman." Tig answered.

"The cleaner?" Gemma questioned.

"Yeah he's close by. Does a good job. I'll give him a ring."

Roxy and Tara just shared a look. Both were entirely out of their element here. Roxy had been around the club her whole life but was never exposed to anything they did. So shit like this was new to her. New and fucked up. They were just gunna get rid of this girl? This was the time she started really questioning being involved deeper in the club. Becoming an Old Lady was not looking like a good idea right now.

Sure she loved Juice but she just wished she could have a relationship with him that didn't involve the club and all this illegal drama.

xxx xxx

"You're missing a sweet Asian buffet inside." Clay sat down next to Jax outside Lin's establishment.

They'd had to strike a deal with the Chinese to raise funds for this mercenary they were meeting in Vancouver. This particular deal involved the Cara Cara girls and a party for some of Lin's associates.

"Surprised you're not in there." Jax lit up a smoke.

"Nah feels too much like cheating with your mum away." He replied as he lit his cigar.

Jax smirked. Never stopped him before on runs. But whatever.

"Your sister's man, however, seems to be having a good time." Clay had noticed two of Lin's girls perched on Juice's lap before. "Didn't think Roxy would approve of that sorta shit."

"Roxy won't be happy if she found out that's for sure." Jax was surprised at Juice. Juice had always been a bit of a man whore round the club, who wouldn't be with all the free pussy on offer, Jax was no better himself he knew that. But he also knew that Juice seemed to really care about his sister so why would he jeopardise their relationship when he knew Roxy wouldn't stand for this shit.

"Long as he doesn't get his dick wet I'm sure he'll be fine." Clay chuckled.

The guys finished up their conversation before Clay decided to go inside. "Should go get my dick sucked. Starting to sound as pussy whipped as you."

Jax let out a chuckle and finished off his smoke before joining Clay inside.

xxx xxx

Their deal with the Chinese did not go to plan thanks to Opie's jealousy over Lyla.

Jax and Opie were having a good chat about everything when Lyla arrived to take Opie away.

Jax spent a few minutes thinking everything over. The club life and its impact on his young family was taking its toll on him. He was starting to question things again, his choices and how they had impacted Abel. He was starting to think Roxy had the right idea by wanting to distance herself from the club. But now it seemed she couldn't given her attraction to Juice there was probably no hope for her now.

At first Jax was happy to have her closer to the club. Although he was pleased for her enjoying New York he had always wanted her close by. Same as Gemma did.

However now that she was close he was re thinking that train of thought. If her and Juice settled down that'd be her locked into club life. And their kids would always be caught in the club business just like Abel.

All these thoughts were running through his mind when Juice came running into the bar.

"Jax! Guys! Got an email from the Belfast VP." He placed the laptop on the bar for them all to look at. There, in the middle of the screen, was a very dead Cameron. With no Abel. "Cameron's in Ireland."


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: just a short chapter this time as it seemed to be a good point to cut it.**

"That's the guys here." Tig interrupted Roxy and Tara's packing to inform them of Clay and Jax's presence.

The rest of the guys were at the gun drop to the Oregon charter so there was no reunion for Roxy and Juice just yet.

Roxy continued to pack her grandad's stuff, letting her mum and Tara have their reunions. Jax and Tara made their way back into the room to help her pack. Roxy could tell there was something going on between them. She knew Jax was stressed but she hasn't expected him to take it out on Tara.

"Our bail is being pulled in two days. We're supposed to be going back inside." He told Tara gruffly.

Tara just nodded. Stunned for a second. Then, "wait? Supposed to be?"

"I can't go back in knowing Abel is out here. We're headed to Vancouver. Gunna take Ma up there and search for Abel. We'll face whatever shit we need to when we're back."

Roxy's ears perked up at this. "We?"

"Yeah all the guys voted that they're coming with me."

Roxy looked down at her hands. That meant Juice too. Not only were they up on federal weapons charges but now they were adding skipping on their bail too. They would probably be looking at serious time. Roxy got up to leave, figuring Jax and Tara had more to talk about.

"I suggest you think real hard about where shits going with Juice." He told her as she exited the room. Roxy just nodded but kept her eyes on her feet.

Could she really wait around for Juice for 10 years? Sure they loved each other but let's be realistic, they'd only been together a few months. Roxy knew she didn't want to be an Old Lady, so why was she finding herself further and further down that path every day?

xxx xxx

Roxy had started on things in the basement when Tara and Jax joined her again. Still arguing. This time it was about Tara coming with them to Vancouver.

"You wanna be an Old Lady so bad then start acting like one! Do as you're told! Pack your shit and go back to Charming! You too Roxy." Jax was almost red in the face as he bellowed his demands at Tara and Roxy.

Tara made a move for the wheelchair they'd stuffed under some boxes. The same one the caretaker had been kept on. Roxy could see where this was going and it wasn't going to be pretty.

"I helped your Ma kill a woman! That Old Lady enough for you?!"

"Jesus Christ! What did you do?" His anger was directed at both Tara and his sister now. "Thought you wanted no part in this club shit? So what the fuck are you two playing at?"

"Fuck you Jax! Shits been crazy up here too. It was that or she handed mum in to the Feds. What the fuck did you want us to do?!" Roxy got up in her brother's face now.

"I dunno? Not be fucking stupid? You're both better than this shit. What the hell happened?"

"She was going to rat on Gemma. Tig helped us get rid of the body." Tara answered sheepishly.

Jax just pinched the bridge of his nose. This was the last thing his sister needed caught up in. He was doing his best to push Tara away, but as long as she was with him she'd keep getting drawn back in. This is why he wanted to break up with her, push her away. Roxy was more difficult, her connections to the club ran deeper. But he was starting to think if he could get Juice to push her away it might get her to ignore those family ties and move on.

"Jax, we gotta go now." Clay and Tig had appeared at the top of the stairs as Gemma made her way down, she had cottoned on to what was happening.

"Not now. I'm dealing with something."

Tig spoke up. "Yeah, so are Bobby and Piney."

The three men shared a look.

"What's going on?" Spoke up Clay.

Jax moved around in the room. "Apparently our lovely ladies whacked the caretaker." Jax glared at his sister. "And this idiot helped them." He pointed at Tig.

"What?" Clay looked at Tig in disbelief before eyeing his wife and daughter.

"Actually I just made a phone call." Tig shrugged.

"Jesus Christ." Clay exhaled heavily. "This? Later." He stormed off with Jax, who called Tig a douchebag on his way past.

Tig turned to the three women. "What happened to 'oh we can't tell Jax about anything'? You three are killing me." Tig scowled at them all before following Jax and Clay out of the basement leaving the three women to consider their options.

xxx xxx

The guys had been met with a sticky situation at Piney's friend's house. She dealt in illegal prescription Meds and was supposed to be sorting Piney, Bobby, and Happy out with cheap medication. However when they'd arrived she was being raided by some local redneck thugs.

Once everything was done and dusted and the guys got what they needed they headed to Nate's care home where the girls had been dropping him off, ready to pick up Gemma and get Tara and Roxy back to Charming.

"Where's Ma?" The guys pulled up to see Roxy and Tara standing in the car park.

"I dunno she just took off with the car." Tara responded. Meeting Jax's steely gaze head on.

"What do you mean 'she took off'?" Jax was raging again.

"We went inside to get grandad settled and when we came out she was gone. She was pretty upset when we left her, grandad was saying he wanted to go home and shit." Roxy was standing up to her brother.

"Jesus Christ." Jax looked down for a minute. "She went home. To see her family." He looked over at Clay knowing nothing good would come of this.

Clay slapped his hand on the handlebars of his bike. Jax chucked his helmet at Tara and Juice beckoned Roxy over to him.

"Hey babe." He gave her a swift kiss before giving her his helmet as well.

Soon the convoy was rolling out to Charming to chase after Gemma.

Roxy held on tightly to Juice during the drive back. It was night and the cold wind was chilling her so she wanted to get as close to Juice as possible for warmth. That and knowing now they could be facing lengthy jail time she wanted to try and sort her feelings for him, being close helped that.

By the time the convoy pulled into the lot Gemma was in the middle of the lot. As they pulled their bikes up they noticed something was wrong. Gemma collapsed and Jax was the first to run over.

The rest of the group jumped off the bikes, Roxy throwing Juice's helmet in the general direction of his bike as she took off towards her mum. Watching her mum struggle for breath, Tara trying to calm her and Jax figuring out whether to call an ambulance or not, caused Roxy to start feeling light headed. She knew she had to calm herself down, her heart rate must be through the roof.

Juice caught up to Roxy and noticed her pale face and laboured breathing. Knowing she had the same issue as her mum he figured unless she wanted to end up on the floor along with her she needed to calm down.

He pulled Roxy to sit on the ground with her head between her knees. "Breathe baby." He rubbed her back and got her to focus on her breathing to slow her heart rate down.

By the time the ambulance arrived she had calmed down enough to ride with her mum. Juice was glad she would be in the ambulance too, just in case.

xxx xxx

It was a long night waiting around for Gemma to stabilise. The stress, along with not taking her meds, meant that her heart adopted an irregular rhythm. While they had waited around Juice made Tara check Roxy out too, she was fine luckily.

Roxy had somehow fallen asleep on one of the terrible sofas in the hospital waiting room and Jax took that as his opportunity to talk to Juice.

Beckoning him outside for a smoke he figured they could talk in private.

"What's up man?" Juice asked as he lit up his joint. He figured he needed it to keep himself calm at this rate.

"It's about Roxy." Juice eyed him curiously. "I don't want her caught up in all this shit. She's never wanted to be a part of it but fuck, her and Tara helped my Ma kill someone at Nate's."

Juice's eyebrows raised. He was surprised, Roxy hadn't mentioned anything along those lines.

"Yeah figured they didn't tell you either. Man we gotta get her and Tara clear of this shit. They're better than this. Than us. They've both got good jobs, helping people. That's what they need to do."

Juice couldn't help but agree with him there. "I feel ya. I know Roxy's better than I'll ever be." He sighed.

"I don't wanna fuck up what you two have. I know she's happy. Happier than I know she's been in a long time. But I can't help but feel like if she wants to be happy long term, she needs to be away from the club."

Juice sighed and took a long toke of his joint. "You want me to break up with her?"

"Shit I dunno. I just want her away from the club shit. She doesn't wanna be an Old Lady, she's not cut out for that shit. But I know she'll go that way for you."

"I'll think about it bro."

Jax nodded in appreciation. Threw his finished smoke on the ground, patted Juice on the shoulder and made his way back inside. Leaving Juice to finish his joint and contemplate what he said.

Juice knew he was right. Roxy wasn't an outlaw. Sure she'd been raised MC but that didn't mean it had to be her destiny.

She'd already gotten out once and made a life for herself, got her qualifications, until Matt held her back. Maybe he was going to hold her back too.

"Fuck." He threw the roach on the floor and stomped on it. The one time he had something good going for him and it wasn't going end well.


	29. Chapter 29

The next day had been off to a busy start. It seems like everything club related was too fast at the moment. Juice was starting to become a bit distant and his compulsions were increasing. He'd been incredibly frustrated with Roxy this morning when she used his toothpaste and left it uneven in the tube. Roxy wasn't able to calm him down like she usually could. All this with his kutte being stolen really wasn't helping. Put on top of that Roxy being involved in the care taker's killing and her not telling him about it.

They'd been out on some club related business this morning and Roxy had hung around the clubhouse to try relax a bit and figure out what his problem was. Vodka usually helped with that and seeing as Harley was busy at Cara Cara she couldn't go to her to blow off steam.

The guys were currently having Church to vote in the new prospects and the transfer of Happy and Kozik. The three nervous potential prospects, Miles, Filthy Phil, and Shepherd were currently sitting with Roxy at the bar, waiting to be called in when the decision was made.

Roxy figured none of them had any idea what they were in for. None of them struck her as particularly MC material but she figured first impressions could be deceiving.

The boys were eventually called in and emerged with triumphant smiles and brand new kuttes. Roxy smiled back but was inwardly smirking to herself, those boys would not be smiling if they really knew the shit prospects had to put up with. And she meant shit both figuratively and literally.

A few minutes later the guys started exiting the chapel with an elated Happy and defeated Kozik with them. Kozik stayed back chatting to Clay and Jax while Happy made his way to the bar, giving Roxy a smirk and a wink as he collected his celebratory drink.

Not two minutes later as Tig was walking up to join them at the bar Kozik came up behind him and sucker punched him. Then it was on! The two brawled around the clubhouse while everyone sat back and watched. Juice moved the furniture out the way so they had room to go at it. They needed this as the tension had been brewing for a while.

The fight was broken up, however, when they came too close to the bar and ended up bumping into Roxy.

"Alright champions let's break this shit up." Chibs stepped in.

Juice helped Roxy right herself so she could follow after Tig to help patch him up. Chibs took Kozik over to the sofa so he could patch him up.

Roxy got Tig to sit on the edge of his bed in his dorm. She carefully navigated the pigsty that was his room, to get his first aid kit from the bathroom.

Settling back in front of him she began tending to the cut on his face, from one of Koziks rings.

"When you guys ever gunna fix this?"

"When hell freezes over kid." Tig grunted at the application of the betadine. Roxy just rolled her eyes and kept going.

xxx xxx

After spending the rest of the day at the hospital with her mum Roxy was exhausted. Gemma had given her new statement to the authorities and was waiting on a possible deal or plea bargain. But it wasn't looking good, especially with Stahl meddling every chance she got.

Juice also hadn't responded to her last messages so god knows where he was. So she decided to stop by her apartment and freshen up, check the place out, and get some more clothes before heading back to the clubhouse.

When she arrived at the clubhouse the guys were all there, but she couldn't see Juice.

Roxy clocked her brother at the bar and went over to ask him where he was. Apparently in his dorm, patching up from the afternoons activities.

Roxy knocked then opened the door to his dorm room without waiting for a response. She'd been staying here this last week so she figured it didn't matter, the knock was more to alert him to her presence than anything else.

When she walked in she wasn't quite prepared for the scene before her eyes. It was innocent enough, but Roxy knew the score.

Juice was sitting on the edge of his bed with Mandy, one of the sweet butts, kneeling between his legs, her hands on his bloodied knuckles attempting to clean them.

Juice's head snapped up when he heard her ask what the fuck was going on.

"You weren't here Roxy, someone had to take care of him." Mandy had spared Roxy a glance before returning her attention to Juice, giving his thigh a squeeze at the same time.

Juice looked uncomfortable sure, but he was making no moves to tell Mandy to fuck off. He knew the score, this was way out of line. Yeah she wasn't his official Old Lady, but she was as good as.

Roxy focussed her attention on Mandy, wanting to rip the bottle blond extensions right out of her head.

"Well I'm here now so I suggest you get the fuck out." If looks could kill Mandy would be dead five times over.

Juice was starting to regret the decision to let Mandy in here. Sure he wanted to get Roxy to cut ties but this was going to be painful. Too painful.

"You want me gone baby?" Mandy looked up to Juice who was going to tell her to fuck off but Roxy stepped in.

"I don't give a fuck what he wants. Out! Now! Before I literally kick you out." Roxy stomped over towards Mandy, who even though she had a foot on Roxy, cringed at the look on Roxy's face.

"Whatever. You know where to find me if you need me Juice." She winked and shut the door behind her.

Roxy now focused all of her undiluted rage on to Juice.

"What is your game JC?"

He looked at his feet. Not knowing what to do. He agreed with Jax and wanted Roxy away from all this. But he didn't want her to think he cheated. He didn't want to cause that kind of pain. This was a stupid idea.

"Nothing. Just offered to help patch my hands. That's it."

Roxy eyed him sceptically. "Why a sweet butt though?"

"I dunno. Just needed someone to do it and Chibs was busy, she offered, he we are."

Roxy could see the honesty in his eyes. She knew they hadn't done anything. Still didn't stop it feeling like a betrayal.

"Whatever." She sat down next to him on the bed. "So what happened anyways? Noticed you got your kutte back." She nodded towards the leather hanging on its usual hook.

"Yeah sorted some club stuff and beat the shit out of Salazar who stole it. All good now."

"Told you you'd get it back." She nudged him with her elbow. "What's with the funk you e been in? I done something to piss you off?"

Juice sighed. "No. Just me. Being stressed." He wrapped an arm round her shoulder and pulled him in close.

He either needed to man up and push Roxy away or just live with him ruining her life with his selfish need to be with her.

xxx xxx

Roxy stumbled out of bed this next morning in search of coffee. It was going to be a busy day today, the guys were leaving for Ireland that night and she had loads to sort out with her Ma. In the meantime coffee was top priority.

She was just about to pass Jax's room when a livid Tara came storming out, ignoring Roxy's question.

She stopped in front of the open door, saw Jax on his bed, which wasn't out of the ordinary, but Ima wearing nothing but his tshirt standing at his bathroom door was out of place.

Clicking to what he was doing she told her brother, "you're a fucking asshat Jackson." She turned towards Ima, "and you're just a massive slut. You knew damn well he was taken."

She stormed off in search of Tara. Making her way through the barroom she saw Lyla slap Opie before taking off out the front herself.

What the hell was happening here today.

By the time she made it to the lot Tara was already at her car. Ima came stumbling out after Roxy. Lyla and her exchanged heated words before Lyla slapped Ima before she too stormed off to her car.

Ima looked slightly stunned but kept on her game face.

"I suggest you follow their lead. The next one won't be just a slap." Roxy turned on her heel and stormed back into the clubhouse, intent on having it out with Jax and Opie.

When she got inside Opie was already chatting to Jax so she left the boys to it and went back to take the prospect up on his offer of coffee.

Juice gave Roxy a tight smile as he left the chapel and went to Jax's room.

"Guys we're at the table."

"Oh sure." Opie made to get up.

"What's the go with Roxy? Think I was successful with Tara." He looked sadly at the ground.

Juice shrugged. "I dunno man. Don't wanna hurt her."

"Might have to Juice. It's for the best."

Opie looked between the two. "I think you're underestimating Tara and your sister." He walked past Juice and headed to Church.

xxx xxx

The plan to get Gemma out was in motion. The guys didn't know, but she had to stop by the clubhouse to grab some of her stuff. Roxy was to go with them, her Ma might need help and she also didn't want Roxy left at home alone without really any of the guys.

All the guys were loading up the van when she got there. Roxy had loaded her car up with her Mum's suitcase and some of her stuff from the apartment. She ran into Juice's dorm to grab her small backpack and filled it with her toiletries and her iPod along with a couple other bits.

She managed to throw it in her car too without raising any suspicion.

Juice caught her as he brought the last of the gear to the van.

"We gotta go now babe." He held her arms.

"I know, what if I could come with you?" She asked him curiously.

"No. Not happening."

"Why not?" She was annoyed now with his blunt answer.

"Got too much else to worry about." He copied her annoyed tone.

"Ugh. Like what?" She scoffed.

"Finding your nephew for one. Without worrying about you, I dunno, killing some chick and hiding the body?" He levelled her with a serious gaze now.

"Jax told you?"

"Yeah seeing as you didn't."

Roxy stammered for a moment. "Ma told me not to."

"This is exactly why you can't come. You have to tell me this shit." He dropped his hands from her arms. "I don't have time for this now."

"I don't have to tell you shit. You don't tell me everything."

"That's club shit and you know it's different."

Roxy gave up. She wasn't going to win this fight. Not now he pulled the club card. And she had places to be.

"Whatever. Have fun in Ireland." She kissed his cheek and left for her car.

Juice was torn in two minds. On the one hand it was not the send off he was hoping for. On the other it seemed like she was pulling away and he just hoped maybe she would have decided to leave by the time came back. It'd be easier that way.

xxx xxx

The police chase out of town was the exact adrenaline rush Roxy had been missing. She couldn't remember the last time she had such a huge rush.

Jax and Clay were of course mega pissed with her and Gemma and Tara for pulling such a stupid stunt. Plus it meant they'd lost Tig as he had to run interference. It only solidified Jax's plan in his mind. He knew Juice wouldn't be happy though on seeing his sister at the plane.

He was right. As they pulled up to the hangar and unloaded from the car Juice was livid.

He stormed over to Roxy as the rest of the guys loaded the plane.

"What the fuck? Thought I told you not to come." He cornered her against the car.

"Yeah and I told you I don't have to do what you say." She folded her arms in front of chest and stood straighter. He was up in her personal space, trying to intimidate her but she wasn't taking his shit.

"Fucks sake Roxy. You wanna be an Old Lady you gotta do what you're told!"

"I don't want to be your Old Lady!"

Juice backed off slightly, hurt by her outburst. He was trying to push her away but he didn't want to. So it stung to hear her say that. "Then what the fuck are we doing?"

"Nothing Juice. We-" she motioned between them- "are doing nothing."

She shoved past him and made her way over to her mum who had been watching the whole exchange. Gemma had been watching Jax closely the last few days and Tara had filled her in on some of the behaviour. She knew what the boys were up to. It wasn't going to work on Tara but Juice might find himself single for good.

xxx xxx

The journey on a cargo plane wasn't exactly the most comfortable. Juice was asking Chibs what every noise was and it was clear he was super on edge.

"You never been on a plane before or something?" Gemma was sick of his questions.

"My Ma was too busy gettin high to take us on family holidays. And I rode to Charming from New York." He frowned.

Roxy felt kind of sorry for him there. But he was being a jackass so he could shove it.

Roxy shoved her iPod headphones in her ear and snuggled down in her jacket. She had originally been excited about the trip, even though it was under shit circumstances, but she hadn't been overseas before and she thought maybe her and Juice could have some fun around all the club business.

Truth be told she had been considering this Old Lady shit but when he started demanding stuff of her she decided he could suck it.

She couldn't help looking over at him and watching him talk to Chibs and Happy. Every now and again his eyes would meet hers but as quick as they met he'd look away. This was going to be a long few hours.


	30. Chapter 30

The rest of the plane trip was long and boring, especially with Roxy trying to ignore Juice. No idea whether they were still together or not.

The trip to the SAMBEL clubhouse was long and somewhat treacherous. As soon as they got off the boat from Stranraer Roxy felt a sense of unease.

That sense of unease was soon realised when their convoy was pulled over by police not long after they'd met up with the SAMBEL guys.

"What's going on?" Gemma was in the front seat of the cargo truck with one of the SAMBEL guys driving. Roxy leaned forward from her place amongst the guys in the back.

"I dunno, but it can't be good." Luther, their driver, answered.

The two women watched with baited breath as the police took their IDs. Roxy could help but watch Juice, his posture hard and ready for whatever was going to happen.

After a moment of consideration one of the police ordered them all to the ground. Chibs resisted, spitting in the cop's face. Then all hell broke loose, punches thrown and guys wrestling with the cops. Until one of them let off their automatic rifles.

The women watched on in horror as the guys were cuffed and loaded into the police van.

Luther didn't help matters by saying the police would probably shoot and dump them. Roxy's heart caught in her chest as she pictured her dad's, Jax's and Juice's lifeless bodies in an Irish ditch.

"We gotta do something." Gemma screeched.

"Like what?"

Gemma considered for a second. "Like this." She jumped into Luther's lap and hit the gas pedal, rocketing their van into the police van as it pulled off.

Within minutes the guys were out and had their way with the police as Gemma and Roxy made their way over to the guys.

Juice watched Roxy approach and had expected her to come check on him. She hesitated in his direction before seeming to shake her head at herself and turning to Jax and giving him a hug.

Juice couldn't help feel his heart drop. She was ignoring him. This is what he wanted wasn't it?

They sorted things out for a few minutes and organised where to go from here. Jax and Clay left Gemma and Roxy with some of the SAMBEL guys while SAMCRO had a bit of a chat. One of the guys, who she'd seen Chibs being friendly with, made his way over to her while they waited. He offered Roxy a smoke and introduced himself as Padraic.

"So welcome to Belfast." He said as he lit her smoke.

"Ha! Warm welcome huh."

"We like to keep things interesting." He winked at her which got a smile out of Roxy.

Juice had noticed the exchange and couldn't help clench his fists. Jax noticed his gaze. "Chill bro. This is what we wanted yeah?"

Juice just shrugged, broke his gaze and lit his own smoke.

Padraic had noticed the look from his spot beside Roxy. "I'm guessing that's your Old Man?"

Roxy looked towards the guys before turning back to Padraic. "Nope. Don't have one."

"Well he's sure lookin over at you."

Roxy looked up at Padraic with a flirtatious smile on her face. "Good for him."

Roxy figured this was all Juice's fault so he could suck it.

xxx xxx

By the time they made it to the SAMBEL clubhouse everyone was ready for a proper sleep. Roxy had successfully managed to avoid Juice for the rest of the day and happily awoke in time for dinner and their welcoming party. The guys had already had a bit of a meeting and we're ready to get started on the search for Abel in the morning.

In the meantime it was time to let loose and meet members of the other charter. The SAMBEL lot has changed into a true MC party in the few hours Roxy had been sleeping. The boxing ring was up and being used already, fire drums were spread around to try and stave off the cool Irish night, beer and drinks were flowing and there were plenty of sweet butts and crow eaters hanging around. Not to mention the loads of Irish patches milling around with the SAMCRO guys.

Luckily Roxy had packed some sexy-ish clothes so she could somewhat fit in to the environment. After downing a couple of shots and grabbing a drink she moved around looking for Jax, her Ma or someone to hang with. Roxy's heart dropped slightly when she spotted Juice, drink in hand, sitting getting a lap dance from a particularly well endowed sweet butt. Roxy could immediately tell from his posture he was turned on, not to mention the fact he was biting his bottom lip as she ground her hips on his crotch.

Roxy turned back around and grabbed another two shots and walked over to Jax who was watching the boxing.

"How you feelin' sis? Over the jet lag?" He slung an arm over her shoulder.

"Nope. And it's fucking freezing here." Jax followed Roxy's gaze to where Juice was just visible on the other side of the lot and knew what the reason for her bad mood was. He was going to offer her some brotherly advice but just then Liam O'Neill challenged him to a fight. Liam was one of the SAMBEL brothers, but none of SAMCRO trusted him. He'd blatantly lied to them about Abel multiple times now so naturally Jax was more than willing to accept the challenge.

This suited Roxy fine as she could sit and sulk in peace seeing as her mum and dad left to go somewhere private.

Roxy lit up a smoke and surveyed the scene before allowing her gaze to go back to Juice. At this stage the lap dance had turned more into a dry humping session. She considered for a moment going over and breaking it up, slamming the blonde bitch's head off the wall and castrating Juice. But then she figured he wasn't worth it. They'd had a slight argument, she'd told him there was nothing between them in the heat of the moment but now here he was just going off as if what they had together was nothing. Fuck him. Whatever had crawled up his ass and made him act like a douchebag could stay there for all she cared.

As Roxy sat and contemplated the end of what had been the best relationship she'd ever been in Juice continued to enjoy the ministrations of the sweet butt.

In all truth he was completely wasted, and had gotten high with one of the SAMBEL guys, who knew they had good weed in Ireland. He wanted to be with Roxy, but he and Jax's plan to piss her off enough to leave seemed to be working. He was in need of company to stave off the hurt and seeing as Roxy was off limits when the sweet butt approached he figured she would do. When Roxy came down to the party he didn't push the sweet butt off, he figured Roxy seeing him with someone else would just further solidify the effects of their plan.

It seemed to be working well and although sad, Juice was glad it would push her on her way from the club. That was until he saw Padraic, Chibs' nephew, approach her and sit beside her on the bench. He watched them flirt for a bit while the sweet butt kissed down his neck and palmed his crotch.

When he saw Padraic's arm sling over Roxy's shoulders he wanted to jump up and knock him the fuck out. But then the sweet butt whispered in his ear and tugged him to follow her towards the back of the lot.

Seeing Padraic whisper into Roxy's ear he decided to allow her to pull him away. Maybe her getting on her knees for him would cheer him up a bit. Wouldn't be the same as Roxy though.

xxx xxx

An hour after Roxy saw the sweet butt pull Juice away she allowed Padraic to do the same to her. She hadn't seen Juice return so she could only imagine what he was up to.

But she pushed that out of her mind as Padraic pushed her up against the wall.

"You promise me you're not his Old Lady?" He asked breathlessly between kisses.

"Uh huh." Roxy was well and truly drunk and enjoying his attention. She started rubbing him through his jeans.

"Wanna show me you're not his Old Lady in my dorm room?" He slid his hand up her side to her breasts, massaging them through the silky fabric of her singlet.

Roxy hesitated for a second, but then Juice and miss Sweet Butt were still MIA and Padraic was cute and a good laugh so why not?

xxx xxx

Juice had made his way upstairs with the rest of SAMCRO for a poker game. It was nice to just chill with their guys after the party started getting a bit hectic.

He'd let the sweet butt blow him but that was as far as it went. She was keen to take it further but Juice couldn't bring himself to do it. However after he left the sweet butt he hung around out of the way and smoked another joint. By the time he got back to the party Roxy was no where to be seen. Neither was Padraic.

He hoped it was just a coincidence and she'd already gone to bed so he was thinking the poker tournament would take his mind off it.

Gemma said good night to everyone and made her way to bed, just as Roxy came in the door.

Juice's heart plummeted when he saw her slight bed hair and a faint mark on her chest. The others noticed it too but didn't say anything. They knew what Juice and Jax had been trying to do.

Roxy caught her mother's eye and motioned she was going to join her. With a hurried goodnight she shuffled after her mother towards the bedrooms.

After a few minutes Juice couldn't bear it any more and decided he was going to go to bed. Chibs gave him a sympathetic smile on his way past. But Juice couldn't return it knowing that it was his nephew Roxy had been with.

As he made his way down to the room he was staying in he could hear Roxy sniffling from Gemma's room. The door was shut so it was muffled but he stopped to hear just in case.

"I don't know what to do Ma. He's just turned into a dickhead this last week and I know I said I didn't want to be his Old Lady but I do. I was just pissed." She sobbed a little. "But then he went off and fucked thay sweet butt and I knew I fucked it by telling him that."

"C'mere baby." Gemma must have been hugging her.

"I love Juice. But I come downstairs to see him for the first time with that slut all over him. I watched him go off with that sweet butt for ages." Another sob. "How could he just move on like that?" More sobbing. "Guess I never meant anything to him."

Juice couldn't listen to any more. He sat in the bed in his dorm and wondered why he'd ever agreed to this plan in the first place, it hurt too fucking much.

He should have just been selfish and kept her to himself. He needed her. He needed someone and for once he'd had it. Someone who actually cared about him, who he could come home to and share things with.

The one thing he'd wanted his whole life. And now he'd fucked it.


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: thanks for the continued support. Continue to let me know what you think. It helps me write during the marathon night time feeds with my newborn!**

Roxy woke up the next morning feeling worse than the night before. Padraic had been nothing but a gentlemen when she decided she couldn't go through with things. But that just made her angrier at Juice. Fair enough she didn't speak to him on the plane and in the morning. But they'd spent most of the day resting up after that and she had thought that they just needed some alone time then they'd get a chance to talk things out.

Obviously she blew it by saying what she said because first chance he got he jumped into bed with a sweet butt. So much for him being different to all the other guys, or her actually meaning something to him.

Roxy reluctantly pulled herself together and headed downstairs for breakfast and a meeting. She wouldn't usually be included on club stuff but this wasn't really a formal meeting and even though Clay was still super pissed that she was here he had requested she attend to ensure she knew what was going on. It'd keep her safe that way.

After grabbing a coffee she sat down next to Opie on the sofa who had his arm on the back rest. He let his hand squeeze her shoulder in comfort then moved his attention back to the rest of them. Opie knew exactly what Juice and Jax were doing and he thought they were being jackasses. Especially Juice with his sweet butt show last night. He knew Roxy wouldn't leave Charming now. Juice seemed to forget she had come back to be close to family not an MC member or MC life so she'd happily stay put even if that was off the table.

Roxy couldn't even look at Juice. She could tell he was watching her but she knew if she met his gaze all the hurt she had been containing since last night would come out again in the form of tears and there was no way that was happening in front of all the guys.

It had been pointless Roxy attending this meeting as she had spent the whole time focusing on not focusing on Juice. So when Clay told them all to get some more rest before the run that afternoon she was taken by surprise.

Good. She felt like lying in bed alone.

Juice, of course, had other plans. He'd thought on it last night and he didn't want to go through with pushing her away. He needed her. He was going to be selfish and despite how guilty he felt at dragging her into all the MC shit he wanted something to himself for once.

He knocked on her door before opening and coming in. He felt even worse when he saw her curled up in her bed, eyes closed.

"Ma, I'm fine just go do whatever."

"Not your Ma." He said from his spot at the door, not wanting to fully enter the room.

"What the fuck do you want?!" Her sad aura was immediately replaced with anger. Anger that was directed fully at him.

"We need to talk." He made a move to enter the room and shut the door but the look on her face told him he wasn't going to be welcome. He shut the door behind him anyway.

Roxy sat up fully in her bed. "Bit fucking late for that. Go talk to the sweet butt."

Juice groaned. "As if you can talk. Have fun with Padraic?"

Roxy glared at him. "Actually no, asswipe. I didn't. I couldn't go through with it because unlike you our relationship actually meant something to me." The heartbroken expression returned to her features. Juice felt like it was probably mirrored on his own face. He hadn't expected that admission.

"Roxy, I swear nothing much happened with her."

She scoffed. "Yeah sure. Don't insult my intelligence." She turned away from him. "I know what I said about being your Old Lady. But I was pissed at your change in attitude. I thought you would have cared enough to actually talk about it, but first opportunity you get and there is some slut on your dick."

Juice groaned again and sat down on the bed. Not quite next to her. He couldn't quite be sure she wouldn't rip his dick off.

"That's not what it was like."

She snapped her head to look at him. "That's sure what it fucking looked like. Thought you were better than that. Obviously not." Her cold glare was like a knife to his heart.

"I let her blow me. That's all that happened."

"How nice of you to allow her that pleasure." She glared at him sarcastically. "You were gone for at least an hour. And that was just before I left the party. Let's not flatter yourself we both know you can't last that fucking long, so it must have been more than just her sucking you off."

"Whatever Roxy. I just wanted to explain my side of this." He made a move to get up. Pissed off now at the attack on his manhood.

"No don't go. I'd like to hear how you could possibly explain all this." Roxy sat up straight and clasped her hands in her lap just to be a smart ass.

"Fine." He turned to glare at her now. "Jax and I were concerned with you and Tara being dragged further and further into the club. Jax especially. You are so much better than all this shit Roxy. So much better than me. You've said it yourself hundreds of times. You don't want to be an Old Lady. You wanted away from the club and I'm just dragging you back in." Roxy was stunned slightly with this admission. "So Jax and I decided we'd push you guys away. Get you away from the club. She could go on being a doctor and you could go on making the most of your life. Problem solved." He sat back down on the bed. "But when I saw you with Padraic last night I knew I'd made a mistake. But by then you'd seen me with that sweet butt and I figured I'd well and truly fucked it, which was the point, so I left you to it and went off with her." He looked up at her now. "But same as you Rox. I couldn't go through with it."

Roxy had been starting to melt but at that she frowned. "Same as me? No it's not the same. You still had sex with her. And before you say you didn't, it's called oral sex for a reason. I kissed Paddy. He copped a feel. That's as far as it went. Because to me it felt too much like cheating."

Juice frowned. She had him there. "I'm sorry. Honestly this was a stupid fucking idea from the beginning but Jax got in my head about you being safer this way."

"I don't care JC. You should be man enough to talk about shit with me. Not make shitty little plans with Jax designed to hurt me." She pulled the blanket around her. "Because you know what? It worked. I'm hurt and I don't want anything to do with you now. Especially after I've had to watch you with some skank." She lay down and rolled over, signalling the end of their conversation.

"We'll talk later and work this shit out. I'm sorry." He squeezed her leg before getting up and making his way to the door.

"There's nothing to work out JC. You got your wish. We are done. Plus you gunna be going inside when we get back so it doesn't matter anyway. I'll be away from you like you wanted."

As Juice left the room that last remark was like the final blow. She didn't want to wait for him, she probably wouldn't have even if they were together by the sounds of it. What has he done?

xxx xxx

Roxy didn't get much rest that day so she headed down to the lot and by the time the guys were loading up to ride she'd smoked half a pack of cigarettes.

When Juice came down to saddle up he spotted Roxy and Padraic sat next to one another on a picnic bench. This fuelled his bad mood. So much for nothing happening there.

"I am sorry about last night. I was drunk and in a weird mood." Roxy was embarrassed about everything that happened with Paddy. She'd practically thrown herself at him and then ran off at the last second. He must have thought she was nuts.

"Don't worry bout it lass. I could tell you were hung up on him from the moment we met. Just thought I'd try my luck." He'd looked over at Juice who was sat on his bike, smoke in mouth, glaring at the pair.

"Hmm. Wish I wasn't though."

"Can't help it babe." He slung an arm round her shoulder. "Does he deserve to feel this bad?"

"You saw him with the sweet butt last night?" She chuckled.

"Ok then. Well let's give him something to make him regret it." He surprised Roxy as he pulled her in for a kiss.

He moved his hand to her cheek and deepened the kiss before pulling back. Roxy fought the urge to look over at Juice.

"You're walking a dangerous path Paddy." She smirked.

"Worth it babe." He winked and pulled back before jumping up. "Think of it as a goodbye kiss. We better give him a break. Cut the guy some slack, I know if I were him I'd regret letting you go."

"Such a charmer." She smirked at him.

"I'll see you later, behave yourself today." With another wink he made his way to his bike. Giving Juice a wide berth.

When Roxy finally did chance a look at Juice she could see the hurt and confusion on his face.

Juice couldn't believe it. She told him nothing happened with Padraic but it sure didn't look that way. He snapped out of it when he saw Roxy approaching the SAMCRO group. She walked around giving them all a hug then and stopped awkwardly in front of Juice.

She didn't give him a hug but she did give him a small smile. "Be safe."

Juice watched her walk away as he mounted his bike. He supposed it was better than nothing.

xxx xxx

Pulling back into the lot that evening Juice's stomach was like lead.

They had been blown up at the gun exchange by Jimmy's guys, losing a few SAMBEL guys in the process. Padraic included. Chibs was devastated and had been inconsolable when they stopped briefly on the way back. It was at the rest stop that Clay got the phone call from Gemma about Jimmy dropping in on them back at Maureen's. He and Roxy may not be together but he was desperate to get back and make sure she was ok.

The guys rushed up into the apartments where they were staying to find the girls sitting in the living area.

Clay rushed over to Gemma, and Jax to Roxy, while Chibs checked with Fiona and Kerrianne. Juice hung back a moment, letting Jax have a second with Roxy. When they were done he went over to her nodding towards the bedrooms. Roxy wiped a tear from her face silently as she followed him.

They made their way to his room this time seeing as he was leading the way. As soon as she shut the door behind them Juice grabbed her in a hug. Roxy grasped the back of his kutte and buried her face in his chest and let out a few sobs.

"Are you ok Rox? Like he didn't hurt you did he?" Juice's main concern riding back had been if Jimmy had touched her at all.

"M'fine. Are you?" She pulled back and studied his face for any cuts or bruises.

"I'm good." He looked down at her. "I'm sorry about Padraic." His tone was confused but he meant it.

"Me too." She moved her hand to his and squeezed it. "There was nothing going on with us. That earlier was him helping me make you jealous. He said you deserved it." She chuckled humourlessly. "It's so sad though. I was only just talking to him a few hours ago."

Juice pulled her back in for a hug. Jealous of her tears over him but he wanted to comfort her nonetheless. "I know babe."

After a few more minutes she pulled back again. "I'm so glad you're ok. When they said there'd been an explosion I thought the worst. I don't know what I would have done if that had been the last time I talked to you." Referencing their conversation that morning.

"Same. If Jimmy had gotten you and the last thing you thought was that I didn't care about you, well it would have killed me." He placed his hands on her cheeks. "Because I do care about you. I love you Roxy. I'm sorry about this stupid plan Jax and I had."

"I know babe." Roxy stood on her toes to kiss him. "Let's forget about it now. We've both had close calls today. Let's move on."

Juice agreed whole heartedly. Eager to have her back to himself. "Still got lots to talk about though. Like you steam cleaning your dick after last night. No way I'm touching you after that bitch." She laughed to show she was teasing but the look on her face said there was some truth in the threat.

"Whatever you want babe." He'd literally do anything she wanted right now. So long as it meant she'd stay with him.

xxx xxx

Juice had been sent with Roxy and the other girls to stay at the rectory at St Matt's. It was Father Kellan's church and as such was strongly protected by the IRA. The plan was the girls would be looked after and be safe there. Chibs wanted a patched SAMCRO member with his girls at all times so Juice was sent along seeing as Roxy was there too.

Luckily Juice didn't have to do any watch duties till the morning. He was thankful as he and Roxy had lots to talk about and it was already quite late by the time they got in and settled at the rectory.

The pair had managed to get a small room together with two cot beds, which they pushed together.

Almost as soon as the door was shut behind them Roxy had pinned Juice to it. She could forget about the sweet butt for now, she just needed Juice. Today had been too much of a close call.

Juice responded in kind and pushed her over to the rather uncomfortable beds. As soon as Roxy was laid on the bed he was on top of her, lips on hers, on her neck down to her breasts, Juice just couldn't get enough. He quickly un did all the buttons of her blouse and sat up to admire the view. Roxy didn't let him stare for long. She wanted his shirt off, which of course he obliged.

As soon as their shirts were out the way they were back together again. Roxy trailed her hands over every inch of his chest, back, shoulders, everything. Just tracing the muscles and taking in the warmth. Juice on the other hand was focussed on her chest as one hand slowly made its way down to her pants.

Both of them were breathing heavily at this stage but Roxy's breath hitched when Juice's hand made its way under soft cotton of her panties. She couldn't help but buck into him at his ministrations.

After a couple of seconds Roxy moved one of her hands to his pants and fumbled to undo his belt with one hand as the other pulled his head up from her chest for a kiss. Juice moaned into her as she managed to undo his belt and slide her hand into his boxers. Feeling Roxy's soft hand on his hard shaft he couldn't take it any more and decided they needed to hurry it up. Within seconds he'd ripped her jeans down and shimmied out of his. Kissing her deeply he thrust into her and relished the involuntary gasp she let out at the feeling. Juice let out all the frustration, confusion, anger, relief and joy he'd been feeling these last couple days as he moved inside her.

"JC!" Roxy gasped as she reached her climax. Juice relished the sound, something he didn't think he'd be lucky enough to hear again after his recent stunt.

xxx xxx

The pair laid twined together after on their terribly hard beds, just glad to have each other. But their peace couldn't last long. They had stuff to talk about, so Roxy reminded Juice.

She rolled off him slightly and onto her elbow so she could see his face. She still let her other hand trace along his stomach as she talked, not quite ready to let go of him.

"So what has come of yours and Jax's plan then?"

"I gotta have you. Jax will get over it I'm sure."

"Yeah he will. You know I wouldn't have left Charming either way. In fact I probably would have stayed just to spite you after that sweet butt carry on." Juice grimaced and she chuckled.

"I am sorry about that. I shouldn't have gotten so drunk, or high, I thought it was such a smart plan."

"Mmm. I'd rather not think about it. Clean slate. I don't want to dwell on that any more than we have to."

"Fair enough." Juice sighed deeply. He was dreading the answer to his next question but he had to know. "So you know we will be going in not long after we get back yeah?"

It was Roxy's turn to sigh now. "Yeah. Do you know when?"

"Not sure. And I don't know how long for either. Could get a deal, wouldn't count on it though." He couldn't let Roxy know about Jax's other plan with Stahl and Jimmy. Not yet anyways. "What happens to us when I go in?" He couldn't look at her, just waited for her response on baited breath.

"Both of us had close calls today. And the first thing I thought was what would I do if you were gone? I've never felt like this about anyone before and I know it's going to suck not being able to be with you for an indefinite amount of time, but at least I'll still get to talk to you, see you on visits. I'll just have to work through it." She watched the relief flash over his face as she answered him.

"Thank god. You have no idea how good it feels to know I'll have you while I'm in there. I'm sorry to do it to you though."

"I'm not saying it'll be easy. For either of us. This is one of the main reasons I hadn't wanted to be an Old Lady or involved with a club member."

"I know. And I'm sorry."

"So we don't have much time left together?"

"Don't think so." He sighed again.

"Well in that case we best make the most of it." She gave him a sultry grin and moved to straddle him.


	32. Chapter 32

Roxy had never been happier to see the SAMCRO clubhouse. After the last 48 hours she could have kissed the lot car park.

They had finally got Abel back after a whole lot of back and forth between the IRA, Jimmy and some fucked up illegal adoption scheme, only to find out Tara had been kidnapped back in Charming. And to top it all off she was pregnant.

The guys had been looking forward to relaxing before their bail was pulled and they were taken back inside for their court date. Juice had really wanted to spend some quality time with Roxy, he was worried their relationship was still on the shaky side so he wanted to get it solidified before he went away.

They received a warm welcome from Piney, Tig, Kozik, and the Prospects before the guys headed in to the Chapel to figure out what to do about Tara. Tig, Piney, and Kozik needed to fill them in on the finer details.

"Babe do you want me to take your stuff back to yours? I'll wash it and make sure your house is all good for when you get back?" Roxy tried to take his bag off his shoulders.

"Uh sure babe. I don't know how long we'll be though, but I do want one last night in my own bed." He gave her a sad smile.

"Ok. I'll head round and make some dinner too." She stopped to give him a long kiss before picking up his bag and heading to Jax.

"Good luck finding Tara. You know she's gunna be ok." She gave him a hug too before grabbing her car keys off Tig and making her way to Juice's.

xxx xxx

Juice could barely keep his eyes open by the time he got home. They'd been on a bit of a wild goose chase for Tara, involving trekking half way around Stockton and Lodi before finding out Salazar had taken her to Jacob Hale's office and held them both hostage there.

Jax had managed to work out a swap with the police and successfully retrieved Tara. He'd gone to take her to the hospital to check on the baby and sent the rest home to enjoy their last night of freedom. Rosen had informed them it was definitely happening tomorrow. They had a plan in motion to ensure a shorter sentence but that relied on a number of moving pieces to come together, and none of the girls finding out about it.

Roxy had the time during the day to head to the grocery store to grab things for Juice's favourite dinner. So when he walked in the door to his house he could smell the steak and garlic sizzling.

"Hey you. Glad everything worked out." Roxy slung her arms around his neck and stood on her toes to kiss him.

"Me too. Just wish we had some more time together." He stroked her hips with his thumbs.

"Let's just make the most of what we do have. Go get a quick shower and by the time you're done dinner will be too."

Juice tried not to take a long time in the shower but he wanted to enjoy it. The realisation that tomorrow would be the end of his freedom was weighing heavy on his mind and he was finding it hard to keep afloat. He was just thankful he had Roxy to help. He felt bad to rely so heavily on her to keep him straight but he needed it.

The pair enjoyed a nice but quiet dinner. Juice didn't feel much like talking and Roxy didn't want to push him. She could tell he was starting to fade a bit but she wasn't sure how to cheer him up. There wasn't really much to cheer up about. He was going away. For an unknown length of time. Could be months, could be as long as 7 years. It all depended on their trial, but federal weapons charges meant serious time.

Truth be told Roxy had spent most of the day crying. When she'd walked in to Juice's house after stopping at the store she realised this would be the last time for a long time she'd prepare for him to come home. So while she washed his clothes, tidied up, stripped and remade the bed with clean sheets, and prepared dinner she allowed herself to cry because she knew she has to be strong for him tonight.

When it was clear he had finished his dinner Roxy took his plate and cleared it away. She pulled Juice to follow her to the bedroom to relax together.

They'd had a frantic few days in Ireland having as much sex as possible in between club stuff. They knew they'd be parting soon and had wanted to get as much of each other as possible. But now they wanted to take things slow and really feel each other for the last time.

When they were done Roxy curled into his side while Juice lazily traced the outline of her chandelier tattoo. It was the sexiest tattoo he'd ever seen and he loved looking at it, certainly helped that it framed her tits which he also enjoyed looking at.

He sighed when he realised he wouldn't be looking at them for a long time.

"What's wrong babe?" It was the first they had spoken since dinner. Roxy could sense his mood and wanted to try get him to open up a bit.

"It's starting to dawn on me how serious this is. How long we'll be away for."

"You've been to jail before though? In New York right?"

He nodded. "Yeah but that was only 8 months." He reached over to his bedside table and fished around for one of his pre rolled joints and a lighter. When he was successful he lit it and inhaled it blissfully letting the feeling wash over him. "8 months almost killed me Rox. I dunno if I can do longer time than that."

She squeezed him and looked up to his face. "You can baby. The others will be there you won't be alone."

"It's not that Rox. It's-" he groaned, it was hard to explain the way his mind worked but he figured Roxy would get it- "it's the control thing. You have no control over anything in there. It's part of the punishment I guess, but it's hell for me. When I got out last time it took me a long time to get my head together. Aside from that 8 months the longest I've served has been like 3 weeks here or a few nights there. It's nothing compared to a possible 7 years."

Roxy could feel him tensing up and knew he was probably close to tears. "Babe you can do it. You have me this time, you can call me all the time and I'll visit you every week and we'll work through it together. It's gunna be ok."

Juice tried to feel reassured by the look in her eyes and it worked slightly. She was right he did have her this time. When he'd done his 8 month stretch he'd been alone. Purely alone. His mum had left 4 years previous to that and he hadn't seen his sister in months, he had no girl and not many friends. He was also alone on the inside too. At least this time he'd be hanging with the guys ever day during meals and yard time. Then he'd be able to call Roxy most days or see her on the weekends.

"I promise you, baby, we got this."

He liked the sound of this 'we' business.

xxx xxx

Roxy carefully moved the blanket out of her way and slowly sunk under it. She had woken up to Juice's morning wood poking her back and figured she'd give him something good to wake up to on his last morning.

Juice slowly came to, he had the best feeling down below and, thinking it was just a really good dream, he decided to wake Roxy up for some fun.

That was until he realised she wasn't next to him, then he realised the source of the good feeling below, it was Roxy, she swallowed around him and his sleepy mind blanked for a second.

"Oh fuck baby." He strangled out, grabbing her hair and pulling her down.

Roxy smiled to herself, as best she could, this worked out well.

"I could get used to waking up like this." He smirked when she finished and straddled his waist.

"If prefer it if you didn't given that you'll be waking up in Stockton from now on." She winked at him. "I don't want to think about who you'll be rooming with." He gave out a half hearted chuckle. "Just wanted to make your last morning with me memorable."

"That it was. Want to share a shower before we go to breakfast? I'm gunna be sharing one with Bobby for the indefinite future so I'd like to have one more nice one."

Roxy giggled and followed suit.

xxx xxx

The breakfast was exactly what everyone needed. It was great to have everyone together for one last time. Roxy was enjoying sitting in between her brother and Juice. She had her legs against Juice's and he had his hand on her thigh, squeezing softly every so often.

As soon as breakfast was over the guys were to get on with their plan for the day and it was unlikely they'd get any time together after that. Roxy could feel the tension building and she was guessing Juice could feel it too seeing as he asked her to follow him to his dorm.

"You doing ok?" He asked as he shut the door.

Roxy couldn't help but let it out now. She'd been so good until now. She thought she had gotten all the tears out yesterday. Gemma had given her a talk about being strong for her man but she just couldn't do it.

"I think so. Just got a bit much. Gimme a sec and I'll meet you back out there." She was facing away from him trying to hide the tears.

Juice shook his head. As hard as this was going to be for him he knew it was just as much a prison sentence for Roxy too.

He moved across the room and pulled her into him.

"I'm so sorry JC. I don't want to make this worse for you. I got the whole 'be strong for your Old Man' speech from my Ma yesterday."

Juice chuckled at that. "It's fine babe. You don't have to pretend you're ok for me." He kissed the top of her head before he pulled back from her. "So I'm your Old Man now?"

"Yeah. I'm your Old Lady, count yourself very lucky. I was never going to go down this path."

"What made you do it?"

She looked up into his eyes. "Because you're special and I know I won't find someone else like you."

It was Juice's turn to choke up now. He knew Roxy loved him but this was the first time anyone had ever been 100% for him. The fact that she'd give up herself for him in so many ways amazed him. He'd never had that kind of selfless love before and he vowed now to never screw it up again.


	33. Chapter 33

Roxy spent her morning hanging around the clubhouse. She wanted to be close by Juice as much as she could, despite the fact he'd be busy and was in and out of Church with the guys all morning.

Roxy eventually got news that her mum had turned herself in and groaned. As if this day could get any worse.

The barroom and Chapel had been a hive of activity all morning and Roxy had been trying to make herself scarce so as not to get in the way.

She was enjoying a smoke outside and chatting with Lowen, one of the club's lawyers, when Juice appeared at the door and summoned her to the clubhouse.

When she went inside the guys were milling around the bar, through the Chapel doors she could see Bobby and Chibs cutting and sorting stacks of money.

"We need you to do something for us." Jax levelled Roxy with a serious gaze so she knew this was important and he wasn't messing around.

She hopped up onto a bar stool and accepted the drink Juice gave her before he rested his hands on her shoulders.

"Sure. What is it?"

"Need you to drive the car to the pick up point. The prospects will drive you back but we can't spare anyone for the drive there." Clay for once was involving her in club business.

"Yeah sure."

They explained the plan to her, with as minimal details as possible.

Roxy stood out by the car having another smoke to calm her nerves while Opie set her up with the directions.

Eventually Juice and Jax came over to check she was all good.

"I love you sis. Just be careful and once the prospects get there they'll look after you."

Roxy wrapped her arms around him in a big hug. "I'm gunna miss you Jax. Be careful."

"Always." He left her with Juice.

He placed his hands on her cheeks and pulled her in for a deep kiss. "I love you." He rested his forehead against hers and she wrapped her hands around his wrists.

Roxy fought back the tears. "Just look after yourself. I want you back to me when this is over. In one piece."

He gave her a limp smile and helped her saddle up into the car. She was still under the impression they were facing up to 15 years for the weapons charges. But Juice knew if all went to plan this afternoon it would only be 3 max. But he couldn't let her know that just yet.

Juice watched her pull out of the lot with a sad wave and turned to his brothers.

Chibs pulled him in for a brotherly hug, he probably got along the best with Chibs seeing as he was his sponsor. Truth be told he was rather sad being separated from him for the next while. But he'd already spoken to him about Roxy and watching out for her. He knew he would anyway but he wanted to ask as her Old Man. Especially seeing as Roxy didn't yet have his crow which meant that any members from other charters that came by wouldn't know she was his. Although there was the prison clause he didn't think Roxy would use it however either way he didn't want anyone pushing up on her.

xxx xxx

Roxy smoked like 10 cigarettes while waiting at this exchange point. Eventually she heard the sound of bikes coming round the hill and she hopped off the trunk of the car.

The guys pulled up quickly and she passed Tig the keys while the Prospects hopped in the car and Juice and Happy transferred Jimmy into the trunk.

"Almost home Jimmy!" Juice said with glee. He was glad this guy was finally getting his comeuppance after everything he put Chibs through and then threatening Roxy in Ireland.

He stopped quickly to give Roxy another kiss as she bent to get in the car.

"No time for that. Let's go!" Clay slapped his shoulders as he passed.

Juice pulled away with a smile to Roxy. He couldn't help it, he just wanted to take every opportunity that presented itself to be close to her.

xxx xxx

"You know the guys will be alright yeah?" Filthy Phil, the large yet kind hearted prospect said to Roxy. She was sitting in the back seat staring out the window.

"I hope so." She gave him a small smile through the rear view mirror.

"You worried about Juice in there?" Miles asked.

"Yeah I'm worried about all of them. I know they can look after themselves but it's still scary."

They pulled into the lot and straight into one of the garage bays where Juice and Tig closed the door. Tig opened the door for Roxy and helped her out of the bullet proof vest they'd put on while Juice finished chaining the door.

"Best look after yourself in there Tig." She gave him a hug.

"You know I will kid. Come visit me yeah? I know you'll be all up on your man's visits but don't forget about me. I'll need some company." He winked, playing it off as being a sleazy joke, but Roxy knew he was being serious. Tig's daughters didn't want much to do with him and he'd always played a surrogate father role to Roxy, in a fucked up way. So Roxy was happy to do that for him.

"Oh I'm sure you'll find plenty of company in there." It was her turn to joke. "But of course I'll visit you. You guys will be sick of me by the time you're done." She gave him a smile and a big hug before he let her go to head outside.

"Love ya kid."

"You too Tig."

She turned to Juice who was standing by the car waiting for her. He pulled her to the office, away from Jimmy who was in the trunk of the car still.

"So this is finally it?" Roxy whispered.

"Yeah think so." Juice stroked her cheeks with his thumbs.

"Just please be careful."

"Of course I will. Look after yourself and I'll call you as soon as I can."

Roxy couldn't help but tear up again as she looked into his eyes.

"Please don't babe." He kissed her softly. "I don't wanna leave you."

"I'm sorry." She pulled him down to her and kissed him passionately.

Juice took his time, trying to commit every feeling to memory; her soft tongue, her smooth skin, and silky hair. "Fuck I'm going to miss you."

"Juice get your ass out here. Shits about to go down." Tig stuck his head into the office just as Jax pulled up followed by some black sedans.

Juice grabbed her for one last knee bending kiss before pulling her outside just as Stahl approached Clay.

"Where is Jimmy O'Phelan?" Clay just stared at Stahl. "Okay look I can have a dozen agents here in 20 minutes and they'll shred this white trash shit hole."

Clay considered for a moment and Roxy wondered how the hell she knew he was here. Clay turned to Juice and Tig, "get him."

The guys opened the door and got Jimmy out the trunk. "Thank god for the American justice system." He said as the federal agents moved him from the garage.

"Jimmy O'Phelan you're being taken into custody on suspicion of conspiracy to commit a terrorist criminal act."

"Sorry things didn't work out the way you planned boys. Luck of the Irish though, yeah?" He was led away in cuffs to the back of one of the sedans.

Juice gave Roxy's hand one last squeeze and briefly kissed her head before following Tig forward. Roxy moved to stand over near Lowen, and her mum.

"How'd you know he was here?" Clay turned to Stahl.

Stahl, with a wicked glint in her eye, turned to face the rest of the men. "Because your VP made a deal."

After a moments pause, while everyone took this statement in, Jax ran forward to Stahl. "Son of a bitch!"

"What is she talking about?"

"You made a deal for Jimmy, what?!"

"I did it for the club." Jax was facing his brothers while the girls looked on in shock.

"You ratted! You ratted!"

"I had no choice! Look at everything we'd be facing!"

Roxy's heart was in her throat now and tears stung her eyes. She knew what would happen. Her dad would kill him for ratting. That was the way of the club.

The guys surrounded Jax and all Roxy could do was look on in horror. She saw the looks in their eyes. They'd be out for blood.

"Wait a minute, all this time we've been tracking Jimmy you knew you were gunna turn him over to this bitch?!"

Lowen squeezed Roxy's hand. She'd been their lawyer for almost as long as Rosen. She knew how bad this was.

"Jimmy blew up five of our men." Roxy was astonished at the venom in Juice's voice.

"Chibs lost his nephew."

"I know. I'm sorry!"

Gemma broke forward now. Trying to plead his case to Clay but Bobby stopped her. "It wasn't his fault; she made him do it. He really wasn't a rat Clay!"

Roxy pushed forward to join her mum. "Please! Dad?! You can't do this."

"You are dead! You hear me? Dead!" Clay was being dragged off by agents now.

"You are!" Yelled Tig.

"Tig please?!" Roxy knew if Clay didn't listen to her Tig would.

"You just signed my death warrant."

Roxy managed to get a hug in to Jax before he spat at Stahl's feet as he was dragged away.

Gemma fell into Lyla's arms as Tara ran forward to hug Jax.

Roxy saw the rest of the club up against one of the sedans as they were searched. Juice was at the back of the queue so she ran forward as he was frisked.

"JC! Please you can't let them do this! It has to be a unanimous vote. You can't kill him! Please help him!"

"It's done Roxy." He wouldn't look at her as the agent pulled him away.

Roxy was pushed back slightly but she broke through and got close to Juice again.

"Please JC you can't do this to him. To me! Promise me you'll save him." The tears were flowing freely now and she managed to hug Juice, the agent didn't make a move to pull her off yet.

Juice whispered in her ear. "It'll all work out baby. I love you."

He was shoved forward and into the van at that point. Roxy backed away to her mum and grabbed hold of her arm as she watched the shining cuffs wrap around his tanned wrists. His gaze was glued on Jax, not once looking back at Roxy.

Stahl approached Lowen. "Your clients will be out in 3 years, they don't kill anyone, 14 months."

Roxy let this wash over them as she watched her family being taken away, with Jax not likely to come back. Was his work all for nothing?

xxx xxx

Kozik, Chibs, Opie, and Piney had been gone since before the guys were arrested. Roxy was nursing a bottle of tequila at the bar in the clubhouse. There were few crow eaters and sweet butts around seeing as none of the guys were here. Lyla was keeping her company but there wasn't much she could say. The prospects were tending bar and trying to cheer Roxy up. But there wasn't much they could do.

Roxy wondered if Jax was still alive as she continued to drink. It was dusk now, they had to be almost processed at least, would he even make it to his cell? And would the guys end up with an extended sentence for killing him anyway?

Gemma and Tara had long since gone home. Gemma was dragged off to have her house arrest sorted and Tara couldn't bear to be around the clubhouse to wait for the news. Roxy couldn't go anywhere. Her apartment was empty, Gemma's would be too sad, and Juice's would be too lonely. She decided to stay in his clubhouse dorm tonight, at least the others would be around but she's still have something of Juice nearby.

The sound of bikes approached the lot and Chibs, Kozik, Opie, and Piney rolled in.

"Ah my sweet girl. How you going?" Chibs approached the bar and slung an arm round her shoulders.

Roxy swayed slightly with the movement. "Didn't you hear? Jax ratted. He's a dead man." She glared at him and swigged some more tequila.

Kozik and Chibs shared a look with Opie. "No one told you?" Kozik asked.

"Told me what?"

He bent forward to whisper in her ear. No one else should hear this. "It was a set up. We knew what Jax was doing. He's fine."

Roxy's eyes widened in surprise and relief.

"But no one else knows so keep it hush hush." He winked at her.

Roxy couldn't help but let a few tears of relief escape. Thanking God that her brother would be safe.

Chibs hugged her tighter. "C'min girl. We got loads to celebrate."

Kozik started the sound system and the few that were in there converged on the bar.

Her dad, boyfriend, and numerous uncles were all inside but at least her brother was safe in there with him. That was worth celebrating.


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: so now the guys are in jail I have a few twists and turns up my sleeve which lead into the next few seasons seeing as I'm changing some of Juice's motivations and things. Let me know what you think.**

The first two weeks of Juice's incarceration were the worst. Standard prison rules were no visits for the first two weeks, only phone calls, then the two weeks after that it was non contact visits which meant there was a pane of glass between them. Roxy didn't care she just wanted to see him again!

He had been able to call her most days which helped but there was still that sense of distance. She couldn't wait till they had their full visitation rights as it meant there were three visiting days per week. Tuesday Thursday and Saturday. She could go on all three however Roxy was in the process of starting back at work. So most likely Saturday's would be her only options. However the first Thursday morning rolled around finally and she was on her way to see her man.

"Oh lover boy's gunna get lucky today!" Chibs had been in an amazing mood since he'd killed Jimmy.

That drunken night in the clubhouse, the day the guys were arrested, Chibs had let Roxy in on some more detail surrounding his beef with Jimmy O.

Roxy couldn't blame him for being happy. It clearly had been a long time coming and now he could enjoy the peace of knowing his daughter and wife were safe.

"Don't know how lucky he'll be getting with a pane of glass between us. Not to mention the fact that he's sharing a cell with Jax."

Chibs just chuckled. "He's getting lucky because he'll be seeing you. Now don't be late." He shooed her towards the door having already given her a lecture about tending to your man's needs while he was inside. Chibs really looked out for Juice and he wanted him to be happy so he had told Roxy everything she needed to do to make sure that happened.

After a tense trip to Stockton and a thorough frisking she settled herself in front of the pane of glass and fixed her outfit. Chibs had said to dress nice for Juice but to be careful to not be too showy, could make things difficult in front of the other prisoners. So she had gone with her usual tight black skinny jeans and a low cut but loose, flowy dark blue singlet.

Roxy was practically buzzing with anticipation as she waited for him to appear on his side of the glass. When she finally saw him being led to their booth she almost jumped up. Juice cracked the biggest grin as he saw her sitting there waiting for him, hair curled and flowing and just... She was waiting for him.

"JC! I'm so glad to see you." Roxy didn't know whether to sit or stand, all she wanted was to touch him, hug him. So she settled for sitting on the edge of her seat.

Juice couldn't take his eyes off her as he was un cuffed and pushed into his chair. As soon as he could he picked up the little phone and Roxy followed suit.

"It is so fucking good to see you babe." Juice still couldn't move his gaze.

"I've missed you so much and it's only been two weeks." They both chucked. "How is sharing a cell with my brother?"

"Could be worse, could be bunking with your dad. He's got his own cell. Lucky bastard."

"How is it in there? Are you safe?" Roxy couldn't keep the flash of worry off her face.

Juice, on the other hand , forced himself to disguise his reaction. He was worried all the time, the guys were constantly watching their backs. They couldn't go anywhere alone for fear of the Russians. They had threatened retaliation for the fake cash they used to trade for Jimmy. But Roxy was already worried for him and the others so of course he had to reassure her. "Yeah babe I'm fine. I mean it's no Four Seasons but it'll do for now."

Roxy seemed to accept this answer and the two spent the the next hour of their visitation talking about everything Charming and some of the guys' funnier escapades from inside.

When the guard signalled it was time to go, Roxy couldn't hide her disappointment. "Don't worry babe. Next visit we can touch."

He saw the slight smile crack on her face. "I love you."

"You too. I'll call you tonight. Make sure you fill up my credit on your way out."

"Yup, got yours, Jax, and Clay's ready to go." Roxy had to fill up Jax's money seeing as Tara had a baby appointment today and Gemma was on house arrest for 6 months. The guys needed their money for phone calls and perks from the commissary.

The guard pulled him up and cuffed him, again he couldn't take his eyes off her as he was pulled backwards.

Roxy sighed and blew him a kiss before turning to collect her jacket and purse and head to the commissary payment booth.

xxx xxx

Roxy went round for dinner at her Ma's the following night. Now that Gemma was on house arrest she was probably more demanding than ever. Lyla was at her neck and call 24/7 as Tara and Roxy had managed to skirt these duties seeing as they were both Old Ladies to guys who were inside. That meant they had lots of running around to the prison and the clubhouse. Whereas Lyla's Old Man was still out so her duties lay with Gemma.

It was only 4pm but they had all started to converge on Gemma's house. Kozik, Piney, Opie, and Chibs had arrived with the Prospects as Gemma, Roxy, Tara, and Lyla were busy in the kitchen. Prospects weren't usually invited to family functions but the group was so small at the moment so it was nice to have more people around, and they could be used to entertain Abel. Phil especially enjoyed that task. He was just a big kid at heart.

Gemma's home phone rang and she excused herself from the table to answer. It was rare that anyone called the landline so she figured it either had to be a cold caller or someone important.

"Hello? Rosen hi, what's going on?... Oh my gosh... What happened?... Is he ok?... Why didn't they call us when this happened?... I know... What the hell?... Did you speak to Clay?... This affect their good behaviour?... Ok... Thanks." The others were watching and waiting with baited breath. Roxy's heart was hammering in her chest and she had to lean down to take deep breaths to slow it down. She knew something really bad had happened. And it could affect their parole.

As soon as Gemma hung up she sat down stunned.

"Gem what happened?" Chibs was first to break the silence and ask what they were all thinking.

Tara was rubbing Gemma's back now she was struggling with her breath.

"Jax, he was stabbed by the Russians." They all gasped and Tara plonked down next to Gemma.

"Is he ok?"

"Yeah, just. They managed to stabilise him and he's ok now. But the others retaliated and they're in solitary for 2 weeks. No calls and no visits."

Roxy groaned now she had regained her breath. At least they were safe. "What about their parole?"

"Rosen thinks it'll be fine."

Tara spoke up now. "Why didn't they tell us about Jax earlier? It's not good enough!"

"I don't know baby. But he's going to be ok."

This was not a good end to the evening.

xxx xxx

Roxy started back at work this week and was exhausted. She spent her days catching up on everything in the office then spending her nights at home with a wine. She was well and truly exhausted and couldn't even call Juice to talk to him. Some of her cases were pretty tough and she'd forgotten how mentally draining that could be.

Now it was Saturday, her first day off she had to get some groceries. Her diet of wine and takeaway this week probably wasn't helping her mood and energy levels.

Walking slowly round the grocery store she made her way down the toiletries aisle. It had been a while since she stocked up to toilet roll. She walked past the condoms, no use for them right now, and made her way to the sanitary products.

She hadn't stocked up since last time. Then she realised, she hadn't had a period since before Ireland.

Fuck.

She was due last week, this didn't make sense. Doing the calculations in her head she realised you're most fertile like 10 days after your period... That would make it Ireland. That actually did make sense. They didn't have protection and there were a couple times when they were too in the moment to pull out.

She groaned and left the tampons on the shelf and made her way to the next rack and picked up a couple of pregnancy tests.

So much for a relaxing Saturday.


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N: got some mega twists and turns coming up so hope you're liking it. Let me know what you think as always!**

Juice was pacing his cell again. Solitary confinement was pure torture for him. It wasn't exactly pleasant for anyone but he couldn't function alone. It heightened the anxiety and his compulsions and he just couldn't quiet his thinking when there was no noise to distract him. Juice thrived off the energy of other people. He had been alone far too much as a kid and so as soon as he had his independence he wanted to surround himself with close knit groups. Some gangs as a teen in NY, then the mob in NY and then SAMCRO in Charming. So being separated from them and locking him back alone just threw him back to that time as a kid.

Worst thing was no contact with Roxy. She knew how to calm him down, it was her personality combined with her profession.

He'd spent all his time this last week just thinking about her. Focussing on her and the future they could have together. That was fine for the first few days while he counted how lucky he was. Then a few days in his mind started thinking of all the possible ways she could leave him. That's when the compulsions started, if he just did this the right way, or that the correct amount of times, she wouldn't go away.

Even his hour of yard time a day was spent thinking about her. He just jogged around the little cage, same amount of steps each edge he went around, otherwise his worst fears would come to life.

God he could not wait to see her. If she was still there.

By the end of that first week the guards had started to notice his weird behaviours. Like pacing his cell, making and remaking his cot, the organisation of his room, the continuous push ups he would do, trying to ensure he could do the exact same amount of push-ups every 5 minutes.

Eventually one of the guards had him taken to the infirmary for a mental health assessment.

Shit, he didn't realise he had gone that far off the rails. They had notes from his juvenile detention which had contained his diagnoses. They suggested he actually start the Meds he was supposed to take for his OCD. But he refused. He did not want to be the crazy guy on pills. Definitely not in jail. There'd be no way to hide the fact he was going to the infirmary for medication twice every day. The club did not need to know that.

He assured them he'd be fine as soon as he could see his girl again.

Thank god he only had one week left in here.

xxx xxx

Roxy had taken the two tests she had purchased and both had come back positive. She booked an appointment at the hospital as soon as she could. And would go on her lunch break.

It was now Wednesday, the day of her appointment. She had managed to avoid everyone since Saturday, she couldn't see them seeing as she was worried she would let on before she'd even confirmed it or told Juice.

Her nerves were on edge as she sat in the waiting room. How could she have let herself get in this mess. They were usually careful but they had gotten a bit carried away during their reunion.

And what was Juice going to think? He'd be in Stockton until the baby was like 6 months old! She knew he wanted a family. It was something he'd talked about before but this was too soon for them, not to mention he'd miss everything he wanted.

The doctor was calm and reassuring as she ordered a bunch of blood tests as well as a dating scan so they could be sure of the due date.

By the time she got home that night she was panicked. She had to give up smoking and drinking; so no wine to calm her nerves. At least with the smoking the doctor advised her to give it up slowly as quitting cold turkey would put her body under more stress which was worse for the baby. So for a while she could still indulge in that vice, despite how guilty it made her feel.

Roxy so desperately wanted to talk to Harley but she had to tell Juice first, so she avoided her too. This just wasn't fair that this had to happen now. The next time she was able to see him was Tuesday's visiting time so she was going to have to harbour this secret till then.

xxx xxx

Juice finished the the rest of his 2nd week in solitary... Barely.

He couldn't wait to get back in the yard with the others. Even just into his cell with Jax, someone else to talk to, was what he needed. He was almost on edge as he was led back to his cell, unfortunately Jax was back in the infirmary for a check up. He'd just been released a couple of days before. So he was alone still, however he was at least surrounded by noise, for which he was grateful.

The guard said it would be a couple of hours until Jax would be back so it looked like he was going to be alone for a bit longer. At least there was a bit more to do in his cell in gen pop than solitary. He'd done too many push ups and too much thinking over there. Only good thing about solitary was you could jack off in peace. It was tricky in a normal cell to jack off, never mind when your cell mate was your girl's brother. He considered it for a moment seeing as his mind had started wandering to Roxy. But then Jax could come back early or something. He was going to have to be very careful when he thought about Roxy.

So he settled for opening the letter that had been left on his bunk, Jax had made him take top bunk, which didn't bother him too much. He felt like he had more privacy that way as if his cell mate was awake for the toilet he couldn't really peek in to Juice's bunk.

The letter was from Roxy. She knew he couldn't read it until he was out of solitary so his girl had made sure he had something to come back to. It made him love her even more. The letter was filled with sentiment and positivity which made him even more relieved to see her on Tuesday. He had 3 more days but at least he could call her tonight.

xxx xxx

Roxy had to spend the day with the Prospects. Luckily Opie, Kozik, Piney, and Chibs were all busy so as she organised the clubhouse she wasn't tempted with confiding in them. She wasn't close to the Prospects so there was no chance she'd let on to them. The chances of Chibs picking up on something being wrong with her were high so she always had to watch herself with him.

With Gemma being on house arrest it meant she had an easy excuse for not seeing her mum. It did mean however she had more duties around the clubhouse.

They'd stopped cleaning to have dinner, Miles had gone to grab some Chinese and now the three of them sat around one of the booths.

Miles kind of annoyed Roxy the more she got to know him. He was arrogant and a bit of a kiss ass where as Filthy Phil was calm and eager to please. However she was enjoying their company, especially seeing as they were fresh to the club scene. They'd been hang arounds, sure, but they were hardly privy to club gossip never mind actual goings on.

She had turned down repeated offers of drinks, they were trying to keep her happy seeing as she was an Old Lady. Her excuse was she couldn't drink in case Tara needed her to help with Abel given she was pregnant and suffering with morning sickness at the moment.

They were starting to question that excuse when her phone rang and she jumped at the opportunity to pick it up.

"Hello?"

It was an automated voice responding to her. "There is an inmate from Stockton Penitentiary placing a call to this number. If you accept please press 1 now."

Roxy's heart jumped as she desperately pressed 1.

"Baby?" She just couldn't wait, she desperately hoped it was him and not Jax. She knew they were getting out of solitary soon but not exactly when. Not that she didn't want to talk to her brother, because she did, after his close call she was desperate to speak with him whenever she got the chance. Tara had been the only one allowed to see him in the infirmary.

"You have no idea how fucking good it is to hear your voice." The relief in his smooth voice was evident and Roxy almost cried hearing it.

"Does this mean I can see you on Tuesday?" Thank god she could finally talk to him.

"Yes. Please god come in. I know you have work but I can't wait another week."

She giggled slightly. "I can take the morning off and come see you. You have no idea how much I've missed you. Your smile."

Juice couldn't help but crack a massive grin then. He must look like the biggest dork standing there at the phones. Tig was watching his back while he used the phones seeing as he had no one to call. Juice just hoped he wasn't paying too much attention.

"God I've missed more than just your smile." They both laughed then. "2 weeks with just these ugly assholes then 2 weeks by myself has not been fun."

"You sure you're doing ok? Must have been tough in solitary."

Juice knew what she was referring to. She knew he would struggle more than most. "Yeah babe. I'm fine now."

She understood the now part. He was saying that it was tough for him but now he was out he'd be fine.

They made small talk for a while, Roxy filling him in on the Prospects and their shenanigans. It helped Juice to have some normal talk for a bit and make him forget where he was. Roxy was so busy enjoying the fact that she could talk to him that she forgot about this whole baby business for a while. She had been worried it would slip out over the phone and this was something that really needed to be discussed in person.

The line beeped then, signalling his time was coming to an end. They had to wrap it up quickly.

"Fuck." He ran his hand over his stubbly head he hadn't bothered shaving the Mohawk back. It was hard to get the right razors in there and he figured if he let it grow out it would make him stand out less.

"I don't wanna hang up."

"We gotta. Look I'll see you Tuesday." He sounded pissed off, though Roxy knew it wasn't directed at her.

Roxy knew the drill, she had to say the I love you, the phone area was really crowded and he didn't want to say it in front of anyone there in case it caused dramas.

"I love you JC. So much. I can't wait to see you on Tuesday."

"Me too baby. You have no idea."

"Bye."

"See ya."

They hung up and Roxy made her way back to the Prospects who seemed to have finished up all the Chinese food.

xxx xxx

Tuesday could not have come quick enough for Roxy. Now that they were one month down it had seemed to go so quick.

Roxy had been allowed to take the morning off, thankfully her supervisor was SAMCRO friendly and she understood Roxy's predicament.

Roxy was nervous as hell getting ready to go to the prison that morning. First of all she didn't know what to wear, then she changed her mind about three times on her hair and makeup. She wanted to look nice for him but Chibs had warned her not to be too showy, especially now they were allowed contact visits in the visiting hall. This meant other prisoners would be around and Chibs warned her that it could make trouble for Juice if she was too exposed.

The only person Roxy had ever visited in prison before was Otto and she didn't have to worry about what she wore around him.

Then when she finally was ready to go, luckily on time, the drive to the prison made her feel guilty because she couldn't help but smoke. She had been really good the last week, since speaking to the doctor, and had cut waaaaay back to one or two a day. That was much better than her usual half a packet. But she'd gone through almost half a packet on her way to the jail.

By the time she had been searched and shown to her table she was a nervous wreck.

Juice was excited as hell. His day could not get any better. They'd had good bacon for breakfast and now his girl was here. There was a little waiting room just off the visitation room where the inmates were uncuffed before being led to their table and visitor. It was so that those kids visiting their dads didn't have to watch them walk around in cuffs or some other bullshit. But it worked for Juice. It meant that as soon as he saw Roxy he'd be able to touch her.

The worst guard was on duty today. Juice had only been in gen pop for like two weeks out of his month stay and he already hated this guy.

"You got a hot piece of ass waiting on you Ortiz. How much you pay her?"

"Fuck off Warner."

"What was that inmate?"

Juice glared at him. "Nothin'."

Warner led Juice out to his table and his breath caught in his throat. Roxy was wearing her gray work slacks which were just tight enough to highlight her ass, paired with her smart black pumps. On top she had a peach blouse, with just the right amount of buttons undone and her hair pulled back in a sweet ponytail.

"Wonder how long she hangs around for." Warner chuckled. "Maybe I can give her my number."

Juice tore his gaze away from Roxy to glare at Warner. Despite the fear his words ignited in his relationship with Roxy. He wanted nothing more to grab his head and smash it on the nearest table. But he wanted to keep his 13 remaining months and not add another charge on.

He turned back and walked the last few steps to Roxy, who stood up to embrace him as soon as she could.

Just feeling her in his arms again made the anxiety of the last month just disappear. And the feeling of her pressed against him was driving him wild. He inhaled deeply and her comforting scent washed over him bringing instant peace.

Warner cleared his throat, signalling to Juice that he had to let go. Juice reluctantly sat down and Roxy followed his lead, sitting on the closest seat to him. She grabbed his hands over the table and tried her best to ensure they weren't shaking. She could play it off, initially, as her excitement to see him but he'd figure out something was wrong eventually. She wanted to wait for the right time to tell him what was happening.

"You look amazing babe."

"I'm sure I do given the only ass you've seen in here has been my brother's"

He let out a chuckle. "That's true. His ass is no where near as good as yours."

They made small talk for a bit and Juice could tell that there was clearly something wrong. Although she seemed happy there was a distance in her eyes that he hadn't seen before. He panicked then, wondering if maybe the guard was right.

He reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. "Babe there's clearly something wrong. What's happening?"

Roxy was quiet for a second while she worked up the courage. "There's something I need to tell you."

This was it. Juice's heart dropped. This was when she broke it off with him. Who was he kidding, they'd only been together less than a year and their relationship had that blip just before they were sent to Stockton. This was bound to happen.

Juice sat up straight in his chair, dropped her hand and his eyes. "What's going on?" He took a minute before he could look into her face again.

"I realised last week, I was late." Juice looked at her, confused. "So I took some tests. I'm pregnant." She looked confidently at him then. She was a nervous wreck inside but he couldn't see that.

"What?"

"6 weeks along. Ireland apparently. Guess we shoulda been more careful, huh?"

Juice couldn't process this. He thought she was breaking up with him but here she was telling him they were having a kid.

His mind started running a hundred miles an hour. What the fuck was he supposed to do. He was in jail. He could feel the adrenaline peak and he started panicking. He looked at Roxy's face and saw the brief look of hurt flash across her face at his lack of response. He needed to get out of this room.

Juice jumped up suddenly and stuttered before turning and going back to the inmate waiting area. He didn't even look back at Roxy.

Roxy sat there. Completely stunned. She knew there was a chance he'd be unhappy but she never thought he'd just blank her and run off.

Before she started crying she got up and hurried out of the visiting room, grabbed her stuff and signed out. Not stopping to fill up his commissary.

"Hmm looks like she'll be getting my number sooner rather than later." Warner said as he cuffed Juice.

"Fuck you!" He struggled against the restraints to shove into Warner, who just slammed him against the wall which split his lip. One of the other guards intervened and pulled Juice away to his cell, but not before Warner shouted he'd lost his phone and visiting privileges for the week.

This could not have gone any worse.


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N: thanks for the reviews Stordec! It's awesome to know people are enjoying the story!**

Roxy probably should have pulled over. The tears started in full as soon as she shut the door to her car. The look on Juice's face when she told him was like a deer in headlights then he just bolted. He didn't want this, she was kidding herself. It was only a few weeks ago he was trying to push her away, enjoying the comforts of a sweet butt. Now she was telling him he was going to be a dad, tied to her forever. He was trapped in every way. Trapped in jail, not able to do anything for himself, trapped with her brother in a cell, trapped with her forever now.

Roxy texted Harley when she was at a set of lights, to find out where she was. Luckily she was at home so Roxy had gone straight there.

Now she was sitting on Harley's sofa, bawling her eyes out, completely unable to form a coherent sentence. Harley had no choice but to just rub her back and make soft shushing noises.

"Baby you gotta take a deep breath and tell me what's wrong."

Roxy tried but started sobbing again. She loved Juice so much, she'd already changed her life options for him. Now he wanted nothing to do with her.

"You're starting to worry me hon. Is it the guys?"

Roxy shook her head. "I'm in so-" hiccup- "much trouble." She let her head drop to her hands.

Harley was super worried now. She had just assumed it was one of the guys in Stockton but now... She just rubbed Roxy's back some more.

Eventually the sobs died down and Roxy could speak again, although interrupted by slight sobs and hiccups.

"I-I'm pregnant. And JC, he-he doesn't want anything to do with me."

Harley's temper flared. "Fucking asshole. He said that? I'll call dad, he'll sort him out."

"N-no don't. It's not his fault."

"Uh I think you'll find it is."

"Takes two to tango. I never stopped him to get protection."

Harley groaned. "So what happened?"

"I found out last Saturday but with them being in solitary I couldn't tell him till today."

"Shit. And you kept it to yourself that whole time babe? You know you coulda talked to me."

"I know. But I stupidly thought he'd be happy and I had wanted him to be the first to know."

"What did he say when you told him?"

"Nothing. He said 'what?' Then I clarified and he just blanked me and got up and left. I mean, fuck, he's in jail and he still managed to run away."

"Oh babe." She wrapped her arms around Roxy. "I'm so sorry."

Roxy let out a soft sob. "I don't know what to do Harley. I can't do this alone."

"You don't need to do it alone. Everyone will help. You know that babe."

"That's just it though, Harley. I'll stay by the club and have all the help and support in the world. But then JC will be released and he'll be back at the club, forced to be around a kid he didn't want. That's not fair to him or the baby. But if I move away I won't have anyone."

"It doesn't matter, either way he has to support you babe. So he'll have to be around the kid a little bit."

Roxy scoffed. "You know these guys as well as I do. He'll be nothing more than a cheque in the post each month, living it up with all the sweet butts and crow eaters while I'm out there raising his kid. That's not how I wanted to start a family."

"So what will you do?"

"I dunno Harley. I want my kid to have a dad. I want to have a partner. I want all that family, white picket shit. And if he doesn't want that or the baby then I can't go through with it." She slumped her shoulders. "I'll give him till the end of the week to figure it out. But, even though it'll kill me to do it, I can't go through with it alone. I'll have to have a termination I guess." Then the tears started again full force. "I can't do it Harley." She wailed as Harley resumed her position rubbing her friend's back.

xxx xxx

Juice returned to his cell in the worst mood. Luckily Jax wasn't around, probably getting his antibiotics at the infirmary. Juice was relieved as it meant he didn't have to worry about talking to him just yet.

Juice paced for a while so he could try and reign in his racing mind, but it didn't do much good. So he made a list in his mind instead. Like a procedure of what he had to do to fix this.

First he had to contact Roxy somehow and tell her he was an idiot and that he loved her and wanted this.

Second he needed to take his friend up on his offer to be a partner in that new weed dispensary. It wasn't exactly the most 'moral' business, but it was legal and would provide for them as a backup.

And third he needed to get Roxy to move in with him.

All of these things, in essence, were doable. But at the moment he couldn't get in touch with Roxy thanks to Warner's communication ban. Plus he had no idea how she feels after his reaction. God he as such a jackass.

First things first, he needs to talk to his lawyer.

xxx xxx

Roxy felt awful, but once again she had to ask for time off. She was seriously considering packing it in at this point. It seemed that you just couldn't have a normal life outside of SAMCRO. Thanks to the time off she went to revisit her doctor to find out about her options. She knew that if Juice wasn't on board she couldn't raise his kid. If she had the baby she would have to stay near her mum and the club for support. But that meant Juice would always be around. She had made up her mind; if Juice wasn't on board she was going to have a termination.

Harley had taken time off to take her to the doctors. Which she greatly appreciated. At least she had someone to lean on, someone who cared but wouldn't judge. That was the best thing about their friendship, they both knew what this life entailed and they didn't judge each other for anything. They never had.

It was Friday evening and Roxy had decided that after Tuesday's disaster of visitation she would give Juice until now to own up to whatever he needed. If he didn't she was going to book the appointment next week.

She was almost tempted to drown her sorrows when her phone rang. It was an unknown number, which usually showed up when Stockton called.

Heart thrumming in her chest, she hit the answer button. "Hello?" She asked breathlessly, awaiting the automated voice as usual. However she was disappointed when a cool female voice answered her back.

"Hello, is this Roxanna Morrow?"

Roxy was confused. "Yes this is she."

"Ah good. My name is Ally Stringer, I'm a lawyer with Rosen's firm. I represent Juan Carlos Ortiz in his personal legal matters."

Roxy was super confused now. What the hell did he want that he needed a lawyer for. Her heart dropped when she figured it was probably something to do with the baby. Could he legally order her to do something regarding this?

"I see. And how can I help you Ms. Stringer?"

"Juan Carlos has currently had his communication privileges revoked so he cannot tell you this in person." What did he do to have that happen? "There are some papers he requires you to sign."

"Regarding what?" She was anxious as hell now.

"He has recently become partner in a new local business and would like to add you as a representative for him while he is incarcerated."

"What the hell?" She thought for a moment. "I don't really understand. Last I saw him he seemed to want nothing to do with me. So I apologise if I sound confused."

"Ah yes he did tell me that might be the case. He asked me to pass on that he is sorry and he can't wait to talk more with you about the future. I'm not exactly sure what that means but he seemed very happy and urged me to pass on that message. He would like you to visit again on Tuesday when his privileges are returned."

"Hmm ok I can do that. So when do you want me to come sign these papers?"

"Would Monday suit you?"

"Yes I'll see you then."

"Ok I'll let Mr. Ortiz know. Good night."

Roxy had no idea what just happened but decided she'd call Harley to see if they could figure all this out.

xxx xxx

Juice had been bouncing around the cell since 5am on Tuesday morning and it was driving Jax nuts.

"Jesus dude can you chill the fuck out? I need my beauty sleep."

Juice chuckled as Jax turned over in his bunk.

"I know Roxy's been too busy to visit but you're acting like you ain't seen her in years."

Jax didn't know about what went down last week. He didn't want to tell him and seeing as he still had his balls attached he assumed Roxy hadn't told anyone either.

He knew he was on thin ice and he half expected for Stringer to come back and tell him Roxy had wanted nothing to do with the shop, but he got a call yesterday saying the papers were signed. Thank god communication privileges being revoked didn't extend to lawyers too.

By the time they'd had breakfast and returned to their cells to wait for visitation Juice was a nervous wreck. He had no idea how Roxy would be feeling, although the fact she had agreed to come was a good sign. He hoped.

Warner was the guard on visitation, again, which just wound Juice up some more but he bit his tongue despite the guard's comments. Last thing he wanted was his visitation cancelled again.

"Looks like she stuck around another week. Shame." Warner said as they approached the table. Juice just rolled his eyes and made his way tentatively to Roxy, who was clearly unimpressed with him.

Although she had dressed down for this visit, probably to spite him, she still looked a million dollars in her loose fitting jeans and baggy hoody. Yup she had definitely dressed down to spite him.

Juice stood awkwardly at the table for a moment, Roxy didn't rise to give him a hug, just kept her arms folded across her chest and raised an eyebrow at him, so he wrung his hands nervously and sat down opposite her. She took in his appearance, he looked just as bad as she figured she did. His uniform was a bit rumpled, as if he'd been sitting or lying on it, his hair was still growing out and was at the stage where it just looked scruffy and for some reason he'd also given up shaving his face as well so he looked very shabby. Roxy wanted to roll her eyes, how dare he be feeling shitty about this when he's the one who caused them both to have a shit week. But then she saw the warmth in his glassy eyes and broke a little bit.

He was about to say something but she put her hand up to stop him and leant forward. "Before you say anything I want you to know how shit my week has been. I've also had to, once again, take extended leave from work. Unpaid of course. Because there's no way I can focus on other people's mental health when I'm feeling like shit. Thanks to you." He was about to interrupt but she hit her hand on the table to silence him. "I totally understand if you don't want a baby. I get it. But it would be nice if you could fucking talk to me about it instead of leaving me in the lurch. I got no fucking clue what the hell you want anymore. You just leave me here like an idiot to deal with it all by myself then next thing I'm getting calls from your lawyer entitling me to your share in some new fucking weed shop? I don't know what game you're playing but it would be great if it stopped so I could sort my fucking life out." She took a few deep breaths before leaning back in her seat and sighing. "Sorry I just needed to get that out.

Juice had let it all wash over him. He hadn't realised just how much his panic affected her. Though he should have realised. But being inside made it seem like everything on the outside stopped. And it was hard to get over that.

"First of all I just want to say I'm really sorry babe. I didn't mean it but I just panicked at the thought of everything at once. I should have left you like that."

"Yeah well you're not the only one who has to deal with anxiety Juan."

He fixed her with a stare. "I don't have anxiety."

"Just because you ignore the diagnoses and don't take the Meds doesn't mean it goes away. So either you don't have it and you can stop using it as an excuse or you acknowledge that and work on it."

"Whatever. I just want to talk about the baby. And you."

Roxy sighed. "Fine. What do you want to know?"

"How far along are you? Like what happens now? I don't know about any of this shit. Are you ok?"

"I'm 7 weeks nearly 8 I think. Got a dating scan tomorrow had a bunch of blood tests done so we'll find out."

"Blood tests? Everything fine?"

"Yeah it's normal. They gotta see if everything's tracking right. Iron levels shit like that."

"Huh. Have you told anyone else?"

"Just Harley."

"That explains why my dick is still attached then. I was worried you'd tell Jax before I had a chance to apologise."

Roxy chuckled at that. Glad that he was sweating it out for the last week. They were silent for a moment.

"So what's all this with this weed shop? Because you know that's exactly the sort of business that works well with my job..." She let the sarcasm hang.

"I was asked not long before we were arrested if I wanted to go partners in an herbal colonic and weed shop this guy is opening in Charming. It's all legit obviously. The dispensary I buy from in Lodi thought they'd expand to Charming so he asked if I wanted in. I was considering it, you know as a back up investment, but when you said you were pregnant I thought it was for the best."

"I see."

"So I wanted you on the paperwork so you could enact things in my absence. I wanna do it for you. And the baby."

Roxy softened. "So you want this?"

He cracked a massive grin. "Of course I want this. It's all I've ever wanted. And I only want it with you." Roxy grabbed his hand over the table. "And I want you to move into my house too. So you're settled for when the baby gets here. It's bigger than your apartment and closer to your Mum's and the clubhouse. You'll be safer."

Roxy was stunned. "You want me to move in while you're in here?" She was stunned. She knew Juice would probably panic having someone messing around inside his house while he was away.

"Yeah."

"You realise I'll have to move stuff, redecorate one of the rooms, that sorta stuff. You're ok with it?"

"Yeah babe. I trust you I know you'll respect my shit."

"Ok. When do you want me to do it?"

"Soon as possible." The smile on his face could have lit up New York and he knew it. But everything had worked out fine. He was one lucky son of a bitch.


	37. Chapter 37

"What's got you in such a good mood?" Jax was doing sit ups in the cell when Juice arrived back from visitation with a stupid grin on his face.

"Got your sister to move in with me." Still grinning like a fool.

"Uh hate to break it to you bro but it ain't gunna work. It's a bit small in here."

Juice chuckled. "Nah she's moving into mine."

"I figured. What brought that on?" Jax sat up on his cot and rubbed his face down with his towel.

Roxy said Juice could tell her dad and brother so he figured now was better than ever. Plus then Jax could help him break the news to Clay.

"Well, uh, looks like we're having a baby too. She's like a month behind Tara."

Jax stood up then and Juice panicked for a moment thinking he might hit him but Jax, instead, gave him a man hug.

"Congrats bro!"

"Thanks Jax. Shit timing but yeah. Couldn't be happier really. All that shit with trying to push your sister away was stupid. She's all I want."

Jax barked out a laugh. "Shit she's got you whipped doesn't she?"

"S'pose so. But she's worth it." He hopped up to sit on his bunk. "You gotta help me tell Clay though. Roxy left that task to me."

"Just be glad it's not Gemma you're telling."

They both laughed imagining how crazy Gemma was going to be. Difference is she'd be crazy in an excited way, Clay on the other hand? Who knows...

xxx xxx

That afternoon Roxy went straight to her Mum's to tell her the good news. She let Juice tell Jax and Clay, Clay being someone she didn't envy him telling. But it would be good for them to know ASAP and she didn't want to waste a visit on her dad. As bad as that sounds. Plus he'd prefer it if she didn't. His visits were taken up with club business from Opie or Chibs seeing as Gemma was on house arrest.

Roxy opened the back door of her Mum's house and was greeted with the smell of coffee and cigarettes. Clearly Gemma was handling the house arrest well.

"Hey Ma." Roxy bent over and kissed her Mum's cheek. Gemma was sitting at the dining table with a smoke and coffee, ash tray full of finished cigarettes.

"Bout time you came to visit me. I'm wasting away here and no one cares."

Gemma's mood had been horrific since the house arrest. Roxy tried to remind her it was better than the alternative but that just got her more sass from her mum. It was driving Gemma mad to be locked in her own home, unable to carry out her "queenly" duties. She always had to have her nose into everything at the club.

"Yeah well I come bearing exciting news so maybe you'll stop wasting away."

Gemma perked up at this. "So what's the goss then? Ope knocked Lyla up yet?"

Roxy chuckled. God her mum loved to gossip. "No he hasn't. But Juice knocked me up." Roxy laughed.

"Shut up!" Gemma stubbed her cigarette out. "No he didn't." She was smiling now.

"Yeah in Ireland I think."

"So your little reunion went well then. Who knew the little spaz had it in him." She got up to give Roxy a hug.

"Be nice Ma. He's not a spaz." She rolled her eyes.

"Clearly. So he excited about it?"

"He is now." Roxy grinned.

"What do you mean now?"

"You know what he's like. He panicked a bit at first but he asked me to move in with him today."

"Gunna be a bit cramped in that cell with Jax." Gemma laughed.

"Funny. And he's part owner in this new weed dispensary that's opening. As a backup income for us all."

Gemma raised her eyebrows. "Busy boy isn't he? Good for him." She levelled Roxy with a gaze now. "Does your dad know?"

"Juice is telling him and Jax today. How do you reckon he'll take it?"

Gemma sighed. "Probably good. Think he'll be happy you guys are moving in together and you'll be with him all the time rather than alone at your apartment. And that Juice will be responsible for you. You know what he's like."

Roxy chuckled humourlessly. "Yeah figured." She'd hoped he'd be happy to be a real grandad but who knows. She's probably right he'd focus more on his responsibility being cared for than the actual excitement for her.

"Suppose I got lots to get ready."

"That you do baby. Can't wait till I'm off house arrest and I can take you shopping." Gemma's face lit up with glee and Roxy groaned. Luckily Gemma had another 5 months of this before she could terrorise Roxy.

xxx xxx

The next two weeks went by in a blur of packing and moving. Roxy had also started back at work once again. Of course some of her coworkers weren't the happiest with her. In the almost year she had been back in Charming she'd had more time off than she had worked. So naturally they got annoyed with her constantly shifting case loads. As a result she was doing more paperwork and short term consults than cases these days. But Roxy wasn't too fussed at the moment. She had too much else to focus on.

It was Saturday and Roxy was at the afternoon visitation. Juice and the guys had been in Stockton for pretty much two months now and Roxy was 11 weeks along. Next week she was going for her 12 week scan and she was so excited. Kozik was the lucky one to be tasked with taking her, Juice was happy that she wasn't going alone but he just wished he was there.

"I just wish I could be there with you babe." Juice was pretty upset, he was stroking the palm of her hand with his thumb.

"I know Juicy." She smiled. "But I'll come by straight after with the pictures." She curled her fingers up and squeezed his hand.

"It's not the same. But I appreciate it." He gave her a limp smile.

"Also got my cardiologist appointment on Monday too. So many appointments I'm gunna lose track."

Juice looked concerned. "Why? What's wrong with your heart? Is everything ok?" He knew she had the heart problem like her mum but he thought it was under control. No one told him she was sick.

"Everything's fine babe. Just had to change a few of my Meds so they were OK for the baby. So now I gotta get monitored all the time. I'm fine really." She figured she should change the subject to keep him at ease. "Clay still blanking you?"

Juice chuckled. Since he'd told Clay there had been radio silence in that relationship. Clay wasn't impressed that knocked her up without being married. Not for any moral reason Roxy was sure. She knew how her dad's mind worked. He was just worried that without any official 'Old Lady' commitment or a marriage certificate, if anything happened between them Roxy would be back on Clay's doorstep. This time with a baby in tow.

"Yeah but he's coming around slowly. He acknowledges me in the yard at least. I can't stop looking over my shoulder for shivs from him I think."

Roxy giggled. "Well that's a plus. But hey I gotta get going. I'll be back Tuesday afternoon with the photos. I love you babe."

"God I love you so fucking much. Can't wait to see you again already."

"You're such a cheese ball." Roxy gave him as long a kiss as she could before the guards would come break them up. Still managed to slip him some tongue and he groaned.

"Y'know I have to go back to a cell with your brother, right?" Juice looked at her with lust in his eyes. It usually wouldn't have been as easy to get him going but limited contact with females would kinda do that to you.

"And?" Roxy had a cheeky smirk on her face.

"And I don't think I can come back from you visit all worked up. He's gunna kill me for thinkin about his sister like that."

Roxy just responded by leaning in again and whispering in his ear. "Just think about me in your bed tonight. Because I'll be thinking about you." She gave him another quick kiss and winked before letting him walk back to the room.

Juice groaned as he turned around, trying to conceal his slight boner like a high schooler.

xxx xxx

All had gone well with the scan and Juice was over the moon to see the pictures. A few more weeks had gone by and Roxy was balancing the demands of her job with the demands of her club and incarcerated baby daddy.

Right now she and Kozik were shopping for Miles' patch in party, Kozik's application for transfer had also finally passed thanks to the fact that Tig was in Stockton.

They'd been mucking around in the grocery store as they collected food, getting a few of the usual stares that accompanied a Son being out and about in Charming. But Roxy hadn't thought they'd been that bad when she saw the new Sheriff approaching her car with one of his deputies.

Kozik noticed and moved so he was slightly in front of Roxy.

"Ah Mr. Kozik pleasure to meet you. Just been introducing myself to the various, few, members of the Sons I have seen around Charming."

"Yeah? And?" Kozik crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Just letting you know I'm watching."

"Good for you." Kozik turned to Roxy as she put the last bag in the car.

"C'mon Rox. Let's go."

When they got back to the clubhouse Kozik called the new Prospects, Ratboy and VLin, out to come and unload the car and Roxy followed him in to the bar.

"What was his problem?" Roxy asked as she hopped on to a bar stool.

Kozik handed her a Coke as he opened a beer. "God knows babe, but I think we'll be hearing a lot more of him now. If he approaches you again just ignore him and tell me yeah?"

"Yeah of course."

Seeing as Chibs had stepped up responsibility within the club to help Opie while the guys were inside he had asked Kozik to take on some of the 'Roxy watch duties'. Juice had asked Chibs to look after her and he didn't quite trust Miles or the Prospects yet. As it was Phil had his Prospect term extended. He should have been patched in with Miles but some of the guys wanted him to wait a bit longer.

Roxy felt sorry for him when the vote came back because he was really devoted to the club and although he was a bit young and immature he kinda reminded her of Half-Sack in a way, though Phil wasn't as confident.

The clubhouse slowly filled up for Miles' patch party, luckily some of the Tacoma guys were in town delivering Kozik's belongings now that he was in Charming permanently. Otherwise tonight's party would have been super quiet.

Seeing as Gemma was still under house arrest and Tara was suffering pretty bad with pregnancy nausea it landed on Roxy to supervise tonight's party. A chore she really could have done without. When she was bitching to Juice about it at visitation this morning he told her to suck it up and enjoy the freedom. He just didn't get how boring it was when you couldn't drink, she was tired and to top it all off she wasn't there to enjoy the party she was there to host. So she was currently watching Chibs and his favourite sweet butt canoodling in the corner, Kozik was getting a lapdance by one of the Cara Cara girls and Ope and Lyla had been attached at the lips for the last two hours. Roxy had to turn away and face the bar to sip her Coke and wishing that Juice was here. She almost thought she had imagined his arms wrap around her waist but when she felt the lips on her neck she knew someone else was behind her. She pulled away and turned around to be face to face with Bowie who subsequently crashed his lips on hers. Eventually she managed to push him off. "Dude I'm an Old Lady, back off."

"What? I don't see no Crow." He moved in again. But she stood strong.

"Yeah because I'm pregnant, leave me alone." She didn't know if it was her admission of being pregnant or Kozik's manhandling that made him leave her alone but either way she got what she wanted.

"Thanks Kozik."

"Any time doll." He winked and made his way back to the stripper leaving Roxy alone at the bar again.

This was going to be a long night.


	38. Chapter 38

The two weeks since Miles' patch in party had been fairly busy. Roxy was having to see her cardiologist once a week for monitoring which was getting on her nerves. Gemma had a little over 2 months left on her house arrest and Roxy was certain she had lost the plot. She had taken to calling the garage and having them fill her in on every single minute detail of the day before the Prospects were tasked with bringing the paperwork round every night. Roxy and Tara also shuttled Abel to and from her house for entertainment then on top of that there was the insane amounts of time and money she was spending on online baby shopping. She had already started filling a room at her place for all the baby stuff.

"So when do we find out if it's a boy or girl?" Gemma was on her fifth cup of coffee for the day when Roxy came to visit.

"Next week at my 18 week scan. Hopefully they can tell. I took Tuesday off so I'm gunna get the sonographer to put it in an envelope for me and head straight up to see JC for the afternoon visitation and we can find out together."

"He excited?"

"Oh god yeah. He doesn't care what it is just is excited to be a dad. I want a boy first though."

Gemma smirked. "First huh?"

Roxy rolled her eyes. "Whatever Ma."

"He know you're planning future babies too?"

"Let's just get through this one first." Roxy chuckled and placed her hand over her slight baby bump.

xxx xxx

Saturday visitation rolled around and it was the last time Roxy would see Juice before they found out the sex on Tuesday.

Roxy could barely wait and she knew Juice was going insane. Jax had called her after she'd been at Gemma's the other day to complain about how Juice could barely sit still and it was making him nervous. Then he'd asked her to go check on Tara as when he'd called her beforehand she was super upset.

Tara was having a much harder time than Roxy, she had epic morning sickness and had to be placed on consult duties at work as she couldn't make it through an operation without needing to be sick. Then on top of that she had crazy mood swings and Abel to look after.

All Roxy had was high blood pressure, more likely due to her heart issues than the pregnancy, and some ligament issues which meant she was finding it difficult to walk or stand for long periods of time. Thankfully her job didn't require her to do these things.

Now that Roxy was starting to show slightly she wore a tight, black, tank top and her skinny jeans to the prison today. She wanted Juice to see it and share in that excitement. She threw a flannel shirt over the top just to cover up slightly but left the buttons undone.

Juice had to fight the urge to run to Roxy when he saw her. She looked smoking as always and with Warner once again checking her out he needed to contain his excitement.

When he reached her and pulled her in for a hug and a kiss as he ran his hand over her stomach. They had to pull apart after only a brief second as Warner slapped Juice on the back. Juice didn't want to cause a fuss and have his visitation pulled again so he just ignored him and sat down, taking the opportunity to really check out the start of Roxy's bump.

"You look so good baby." His eyes were filled with joy as he looked Roxy up and down.

She sat opposite him and held his hand. "Thanks babe. So do you. Your hair is really looking good." It was still growing out and each week it just looked better and better. "Excited for Tuesday?"

He laughed. "You got no idea. I think Jax is ready to kill me. But he's also curious. Wants to know if their boy will have a partner in crime or a princess to look after."

Roxy laughed at that. "What do you want?"

He grew serious. "Honestly babe? I don't care as long as it's healthy. I'm just excited." He glanced down. "And worried."

"Why worried?"

"I don't really know how to be a dad I guess. Not exactly had any role models. It's all exciting now but when the baby gets here I won't know what to do. And it'll be like 5 months when I get out."

Roxy's heart broke a little bit when she saw the look on his face. "Oh baby I'm so sorry you're going to miss those first months. I wish it was different. But either way you're going to be an amazing dad. You've grown up to be a really good man despite the fact you didn't have a dad so I have no doubt you'll be great at it." She quickly leant over the table to kiss him before anyone noticed.

Juice perked up a bit at her words. Truth be told that was something freaking him out on the inside. Yeah he had good intentions and all that shit but he'd never known his father and his mum hasn't exactly been a stable role model either so his only experience of family life was really just through SAMCRO. And let's be honest it wasn't usually the best example either. He had been reading every parenting book he could get his hands on in the library in an attempt to ensure he knew what to do. He didn't want to fuck his kid up any more than it would get already with its dad being inside for the first precious months of its life.

Looking for a subject change he asked her how Chibs was looking after her. Roxy filled him in on the business of the club and how Kozik and Phil had been taking it in turns to help her out. Juice didn't really like the sound of Kozik staying over at his place. He knew how much of a flirt he was and although he would surely respect that she was Juice's Old Lady there was still the prison clause. Phil on the other hand was no competition, so Juice thought.

It didn't help that Roxy was now informing him of how horny she had been since being pregnant. He guessed she thought it was giving him something to think about. After all Chibs had told her it's something Juice would appreciate.

Juice would have to disagree. He was sharing a cell with Jax and had limited times where he could have privacy for release and they were few and far between now that he wasn't visiting the infirmary as often for check ups. And in the showers the guys had to watch each other's backs. Juice, Bobby and Tig had been grouped together to watch out for each other one time and although those two had no shame in jerking off Juice sure didn't need his brothers to see that shit. Especially when Tig thought of Roxy like a daughter, it'd just be awkward.

Not to mention Juice now had another image in his head of Roxy, home alone, lonely and turned on with Kozik hanging around the house.

Roxy noticed the scowl on his face. "Sorry. Thought I was being sexy. Guess not." She looked awkwardly at her hands.

Juice felt bad then. He appreciated what she was trying to do for him. God knows he needed it. "Nah it's not that. Just can't help but feel a bit worried about you home alone with Kozik hanging around."

"Don't have to worry about him babe." She let a cheeky smirk cross her face now. "Only person I think about in bed is you. You have no idea how much I think about you, your hands on my body, lips..." She let it trail off as Juice shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Fucks sake Roxy." He grinned back at her.

Before they could continue, though, Warner approached their table.

"Alright lovebirds time to break it up." He tapped the table.

Roxy stood as Juice glared at Warner. She stepped forward, breaking Juice's concentration and wrapped her arms around his neck to give him a quick kiss before whispering in his ear.

"Can't wait to see you Tuesday, daddy." She pulled back and winked at him before turning around to head back to the check out area.

"Managed to knock her up I see?" Juice glared back at Warner again, who was following Roxy's ass with his eyes. "I'd still tap that though. Something quite kinky about the whole pregnant-biker-whore fantasy, right?"

Juice clenched his fists and his jaw and it took every single ounce of his self control to not knock Warner on his ass. In fact at this point in time he wouldn't care about the extra assault charge if it meant he got to literally wipe the smirk off Warner's face.

However he just smirked at Warner before saying, "maybe there is. But you'll never know." Before turning and walking back to the side room.

xxx xxx

Juice had called Roxy on Saturday night, after her visitation, as well as Sunday, Monday and then Tuesday morning before her appointment. She was going to go bankrupt filling up is commissary for phone cards!

He was just so excited to see her and the latest pictures of the baby and hopefully find out if it was a boy or a girl.

Jax was once again on edge thanks to Juice's pacing and constant chattering. He was starting to think he wouldn't have minded sharing a cell with Bobby and his sensitive bowels after all. Anything would be better than Juice and his constant nervous energy.

Roxy was also bouncing in her seat with anticipation as she left the hospital with the ultrasound images in the front seat of the car. It was taking all of her self control to not rip the envelope open and look at the pictures and the reveal.

Harley had accompanied Roxy to the ultrasound and was just as excited. Roxy had to promise to come straight back to hers as soon as she had told Juice the news.

Roxy was blasting her favourite album as she made her way up to Stockton. Nothing could dampen her mood today.

xxx xxx

Juice was waiting and waiting to be called through for visitation. So far Roxy was an hour late which wasn't like her. She also didn't miss visitation without calling the prison to let them know.

By the time two hours had passed he knew something had to be wrong. But now it was afternoon lock down where you were stuck in your cell for an hour while they did count after visitation ended and before dinner.

"Dude will you fucking chill she'll be fine." Jax was trying to reassure Juice but he was just as on edge. He knew something must be wrong. Eventually Juice gave up and just lay on his bunk and stared at the ceiling.

The hour for count seemed like the longest hour of his life. He needed to get to the phones and call Roxy to find out what the hell was going on.

The buzzer eventually sounded, alerting the inmates that they were free to use showers and the phones and common area again. Juice and Jax looked at each other and knew they were heading straight to the phone wall.

They managed to be at the front of the line and Juice ran at the phones and frantically entered his phone code. Jax stayed back to keep watch but was close enough to hear any conversation from Juice's end.

Juice frantically dialled Roxy's number. He knew there had to be something wrong. Maybe there had been an issue with the baby. That's what they picked up in ultrasounds, right? Maybe she had to stay in the hospital. But surely they would have someone else from the club come up to fill them in? Juice's mind raced as he phone rang out the first time.

Then he nearly had a heart attack when it rung out the second time.

By the third time he threw the phone at the wall and started to lose his cool.

Something was definitely wrong here. Really wrong.


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N: getting heavy for a bit! But I have a plan.**

Jax and Juice met the rest of the guys in the yard after their phone calls turned up nothing. They didn't have everyone's current burner numbers seeing as there was no way to constantly pass them on. So they had called Gemma's phone which was engaged constantly, then the clubhouse which no one answered and TM was closed for the day so they had gotten no where.

"Do we have any beef with anyone? Mayans? Someone who would wanna hurt her?" Jax was pacing almost as much as Juice who was mute at the moment.

Juice's mind was racing and he was on razor edge control with his temper/anxiety.

"Not that I know of. What's she doin' going around by herself anyway?" Clay wasn't happy with their current predicament.

"Nah man, Chibs has had Kozik on her. As much as I hate the asshole he'd take this duty seriously." Tig had stepped in now.

"Well she'll be somewhere. I'll try get a call out to Unser. Maybe he can get us some info." Clay stood and motioned for Tig to follow him to the phones. Jax took his seat and put his head in his hands while Juice continued to pace. Bobby and Happy watched on while they waited for the news.

A few minutes passed and Bobby was the one to break the silence, seeing as Happy would never talk.

"She'll be somewhere simple. There'll be an easy explanation for this. Just hard when you're in here."

Jax nodded in response but Juice didn't seem to hear and just kept pacing.

Happy was the first to notice Tig running across the yard. The fact that he was coming back alone didn't seem right to him and he knew something would be wrong. Happy was on alert as he watched Tig navigate the groups, ready to have his back if needed.

"What happened man?" Jax stood up and moved over next to Juice who was watching a visibly distressed Tig with wide eyes.

"Uh it's not good man." Tig laid a hand on Juice's shoulder, Juice just shook his head and stood back, he knew Roxy was hurt and immediately thought the worst, but nothing could have prepared him for the next words out of Tig's mouth. "She lost the baby man. She's in ICU at St. Thomas."

"What the fuck happened?" Jax had a close eye on Juice, as did Happy.

"Uh, drunk driver man, hit her on her way up here earlier. Something called placental abruption, I dunno, but they had to do a C Section to stop the bleeding. Kid was too young to survive." Tig almost teared up as he filled the guys in.

"And the other driver?" Jax seethed.

"Broken femur and collarbone. He's also at St. Thomas. Clay got Chibs' burner number so he's calling. See if he can find out more."

Juice was running his hands through his hair. He couldn't believe this. Roxy was hurt. Their baby was dead. All because she was coming up here to see him. He started moving to go across the yard, Jax nudged Happy and Tig to follow him, unsure of what he'd do in this state.

Unfortunately Warner was on yard duty this evening and saw Juice coming through the yard. Catching the look on Juice's face he knew something would be wrong given Roxy hadn't shown up for visitation.

"Finally decided to leave ya did she? Probably good job, give the biker bastard baby a better life huh?"

Warner didn't have time to react before Juice had bounced his face off the wall, Juice started wailing on him. Letting out all the emotion surrounding the recent news. By the time Happy and Tig managed to pull him off the alarm sounded signalling the inmates to get on the ground. Tig whispered in Juice's ear as he pulled him to the ground. "You have got to chill brother. Roxy is gunna need you and being in solitary ain't gunna help. We love ya bro."

Juice was dragged off by two guards as some of the others picked up Warner.

Juice was taken to plead his case to the warden who took pity on him. He was given 5 days solitary but could have contact if it was related to Roxy's condition. Luckily there had been some previous incidents and complaints against Warner so the warden didn't find it too hard to believe the story.

Thanks to his blind rage Juice was now alone with his thoughts for the next 5 days. Not that he cared right now. The numbness was setting in and all he could do was lie on the cold, hard cot and stare into space.

xxx xxx

Roxy had been in and out of consciousness for the 24 hours following the crash. Aside from losing the baby she had just cuts and grazes, a concussion and whiplash.

Roxy's eyes flickered open and she took in the lights in the room and surmised she was in a hospital room, but her mind was a bit foggy. Her eyes felt really dry, as did her nose and mouth. She tried swallowing but she didn't have any saliva. Roxy heard the muffled talking coming from her door and tried to sit up to see who it was but there was a shooting pain from her stomach up. She groaned and sat back down.

"Ah Roxy. C'mon lie back down." Chibs rushed over to her side just as Tara came fully into the room. "How you feelin lass?"

"Uhh sore I guess." She looked into their faces and knew something was seriously wrong. And going by the pain in her stomach it wasn't going to be good news. "So what happened?"

"We can talk a bit later." Tara gave her a pitying smile.

Roxy wasn't having it. She just needed them to rip the bandaid off. "No just tell me now."

Chibs and Tara shared a look and Tara sighed deeply. "So a drunk driver hit you yesterday at the lights coming off the 101 in Stockton. Rear ended you, gave you whip lash and a few cuts and bruises. But when your car hit the one in front of you the impact caused a placental abruption. There's no way to fix that Roxy, they had to take the baby and the placenta out and the baby was just too young to survive. I'm so sorry."

Roxy didn't really hear much after that. There was a buzzing noise in her ears and she just drowned out everything they said. After a couple of minutes the news Tara gave her set in, Roxy had lost the baby and there was nothing that could have been done. She'd just gotten a bump, they were supposed to find out the sex and everything. And Juice, did he know?

Tears rolling down her cheeks she had to ask. "Boy or girl?"

Tara looked down and Chibs sighed. "Boy, Roxy."

That's when it became too much for Roxy. Within a couple of seconds she was hysterical. She couldn't stop the tears and her heart rate spiked. Tara pressed the nurse button and tried to calm Roxy but there was nothing she could do. The nurses ran in and pushed a sedative into her IV.

Roxy came round again a few hours later, she could tell it was night time as it was really quiet in the hospital and everything seemed dimmer.

Chibs was sitting in the chair next to her bed, half asleep. Roxy turned her head so she could see him better.

"Does JC know?"

Chibs looked at her, her usually bright eyes were dark and her face held no emotion.

"Yes love."

"He ok?"

"Not really. Clay called Unser when you didn't show up for visitation and the guys couldn't reach you. When he found out he went a bit postal on one of the guards. Earned himself 5 days in solitary. Still gets contact if it's about you though so we've kept him in the loop."

"Mm."

"Want to talk to him?"

Did she? What the hell would she say? Part of her wanted to hear his voice and have him reassure her that everything would be fine and tell her he loved her. The other part just couldn't deal with him, she couldn't handle dealing with his emotions right now. She knew he'd be going crazy but it was too much.

"No. I can't."

"He'd really like to hear from you love."

"Chibs no. I can't deal with him right now." She pleaded.

"Ok fair enough." He sighed deeply. "Need anything Rox?"

"I dunno Chibs."

"Ok well you let me know whatever you need."

"How long will I be in here?" She fiddled with the blanket.

"Don't know love. Doc said he'll talk to you in the morning if you're awake. Also our good Ol' Sheriff wants a chat too."

"Ok." She didn't raise her eyes from the blanket.

Chibs leant closer and took her hands in his. "I know this is awful love. But you'll get through it. You and Juicy boy. That lad loves you, he'll look after you."

"I know." Roxy didn't really want to talk any more so she shifted down in her bed and made herself for going to sleep in the hopes Chibs would leave her in peace.

xxx xxx

"I'm worried about him bro. You saw him lose it on Warner, and Chibs has been calling him says he's not getting much out of him." Jax was talking to Clay with Tig, Bobby and Happy out in the yard.

It'd been 3 days since Roxy's accident and Juice would be out of solitary tomorrow.

"Yeah I'm kinda glad he was in there to cool off a few days. Probably not long enough though. We gotta lock him down when he's out. Don't want him starting shit we gotta finish." Clay looked to the others. "Don't want any time added on because he's not been able to control his temper."

Jax rolled his eyes at Clay's attitude. He was yet to enquire as to Roxy's wellbeing, other than the flippant 'how is she?'. "Sure thing Clay."

Over in solitary Juice had taken up his pacing again. The first couple of days he spent lying on his cot staring at the ceiling, counting the cracks in the cement. Then his thoughts got too loud so he started with the push ups and pacing again to try and distract himself. The constant calls from Chibs weren't helping though and so when he would get back to his cell the thoughts would start all over.

He worried about Roxy's injuries, her mental state at losing the baby, the fear that she'd leave him now she wasn't tied to him any more. It was just a constant merry go round he couldn't get off. He felt sorry for his baby too. The son he'd never get to know. He barely had a chance to bond with him so far. Normal dad's would have been able to feel the belly, talk to the baby, share in their partner's weird cravings, sickness, massage their aches and pains away. Juice could do none of those things and he felt so disconnected from Roxy and the baby. Now he'd never get the chance to forge that connection for real.

xxx xxx

"Ok I have to go over some of the discharge information with you Ms. Morrow." Dr. Davidson looked at Roxy for acknowledgement. When she nodded he continued. Tara and Opie were sitting across from her bed ready to help her get home. "So the whiplash and concussion are pretty simple. Any new bangs to the head within the month I want you to come back through ER. Cuts and bruises will heal up themselves in the coming weeks so don't worry about them." He looked down to his notes to gather his thoughts for the next more sensitive part of the discussion. Roxy had yet to lift her head throughout the conversation. "Now the C Section wound will heal in full by 6 weeks. You'll just need to be careful in the mean time. So no heavy lifting etc. You will notice bleeding and discharge similar to a period, which is normal, and your cervix is also sensitive during this time which means no sexual intercourse until I see you again at 6 weeks." Roxy snorted at this. "We'll also need you back to discuss some future complications. Due to the abruption there may be scar tissue on the uterine wall now which means you may find it difficult to conceive in future and zygotes may find it difficult to implant properly. So we will discuss this in detail later."

Roxy teared up at this but nodded her head. The doctor continued to go through her medication and pain relief before scheduling her for a psych appointment for trauma counselling. Roxy couldn't listen though. All that was running through her mind now was telling Juice he probably would never be a father. He wanted this with her and now he'd never get it. Luckily she didn't have his crow yet so there was time for him to back out of her as his Old Lady.

Ratboy and VLin arrived soon after he left to take her back to Gemma's. Gemma was devastated she couldn't come to visit Roxy and so she insisted she do recovery at her house. Roxy was glad. There was no way she could be at Juice's house by herself, surrounded by his stuff, knowing what she did now.

They loaded Roxy and her stuff into the van. Tara had apparently been to Juice's to collect some things for Roxy.

As they drove through town Roxy was quiet until she had an idea. "Take me past the dispensary." Juice had made sure she got a card so she could carry.

Ratboy was driving and he looked over at Roxy. "Chibs gave us strict instructions to take you straight to Gemma's."

Roxy turned and glared at him. "Don't make me ask you again, Prospect."

Ratboy and VLin shared a look. They knew they didn't have to take orders off Roxy. She wasn't a member of the club and Chibs had given them an order. However Roxy was an Old Lady and daughter/sister of the Pres and VP so she could make life very difficult for them.

"Sure thing."

Roxy was glad they'd taken her request. She knew they didn't have to. But she was going to need a lot of weed to distract her and let her think about what she was going to do about Juice.


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N: sorry for being mean! It gets better I promise! I just wanted to change Juice's motivations and I've got this tied right up to dreaded season 7.**

Tara had to stay at the hospital and Opie had gone back to TM after he waved the Prospects and Roxy off. However when he heard about their detour he called Ratboy and blasted him over the phone. Roxy felt bad for him but didn't have it in her to apologise.

Gemma happily toked up with Roxy and they spent the rest of the morning getting high and trying to forget everything. Sheriff Roosevelt came by to take Roxy's statement and although Rat had tried to delay him and ask him to come back later he wouldn't.

"Ms. Morrow, good morning. I hope this isn't a bad time?" He raised his eyebrow at her current state.

"I don't think there's ever going to be a good time Sheriff." Roxy glared.

"I guess so. I just need to ask you a few questions about the crash. I have Mr. Kozik's statement, I believe he was escorting you at the time but I'll need a statement from you as well."

They went through everything, how Roxy didn't see it coming, didn't remember anything and that the other driver was due to be discharged from hospital today but he'd be charged with 'dangerous driving occasioning grievous bodily harm'.

"Should be occasioning death. I lost a little boy because of him." Roxy was showing emotion for the first time the whole conversation.

"I know but I'm sorry Ms. Morrow, the law doesn't recognise a foetus as alive until it takes a breath. And that usually doesn't happen until at least 22weeks." Roosevelt knew this all too well. His wife and him had been trying for years. They'd conceived once and it resulted in a pre-term birth that the baby did not survive. Since then there had been nothing. "That means he can't be charged with that. I'm truly sorry."

Roxy didn't acknowledge him and just went back to staring at the coffee table.

Gemma spoke up now. "I think that's all Sheriff. She needs her rest."

Roosevelt agreed. "I understand. I think we have what we need." He motioned to his officer to leave and turned back around. "I hope you recover well, just go easy on the weed. I'll be checking for a card next time." He nodded to both Roxy and Gemma and departed. Rat shut the door behind him and made his way back down the yard.

xxx xxx

Opie and Chibs came by that night. Juice was out of solitary and they'd been in touch with him and Jax. Things weren't looking good and he was a bit off. The guys were worried things would get more dramatic. Roxy had refused to talk to him in the afternoon when he called her so they were round to check out what was going on. She was in a terrible mood anyway, she packed in her job at the hospital. She'd already used so much time off and she'd need forever to get over this and it just wasn't fair on her coworkers to keep putting up with that.

So when Chibs and Opie came round she had no time for them.

"He really needs to talk to ya love." Chibs was giving the joint in her hand a disapproving look. She was already high as a kite.

"Yeah? Well I really just need to be left the fuck alone." Roxy's attitude surprised Chibs.

"Ok. But you're going to need to talk to him eventually. The guys are worried about him."

Roxy was silent for a few moments. "I am too Chibs. But how the hell am I supposed to talk to him about this? What do I say? How the fuck do I tell him that the baby boy we did have died and we'll probably never be able to have kids again? When you figure it out let me know. Until then, just leave me alone." Roxy got up and slowly made her way upstairs to her room.

Gemma shrugged and gave the guys an apologetic look. "I think she's gunna need a bit more time guys."

Opie spoke up now. "I get it Gem but the guys are really worried about Juice. He needs to talk to her or things are gunna get rough in there."

xxx xxx

It had been three weeks since the accident and Roxy was just the same. She hadn't left Gemma's house and spent all her time smoking weed and drinking. Gemma tried to stop her but there was no getting through to her.

Juice was slowly going insane. Roxy hadn't made any contact with him since the accident but Chibs was filling him in and coming to visit him. Chibs could tell the toll it was taking on the poor guy, he'd lost the beefy muscle he used to have and was now leaner and more defined. Jax had informed Chibs it was due to his lack of appetite and constant workouts, it was driving Jax mad.

Juice was unnerving the guys to the extreme. He had a short fuse and had almost caused several scuffles with other inmates which the boys then had to handle and he'd somehow managed to find whoever was dealing weed inside and was smoking that along with tobacco out in the yard.

Juice just felt like he was on a never ending roller coaster and it was killing him that Roxy was refusing to talk to him. He had it in his mind that she blamed him for the loss of their baby and he was petrified she was leaving him. He didn't blame her though, she deserved someone who could actually look after her. But he just wished that he got what he deserved too for once. Juice wanted the family he'd never had and he was so ready to give that to their boy. When he found out he would have had a son that's what broke him the most. He didn't leave his cell for two days. In the end Jax had to physically drag him out.

Juice had begged Chibs during the Tuesday visitation to drag Roxy along on Thursday, anything he had to do he just needed her here.

Roxy on the other hand told Chibs she wasn't ready, made up excuses about her recovery and that she was in pain but that she would write Juice a letter instead. Chibs didn't want to push it and figured the letter would suffice. It was the most contact she'd agreed on since it happened.

What Chibs didn't know, however, was that Juice was not going to enjoy this letter. Roxy had made up her mind, Juice needed to go a different direction and if she split now he could use the rest of his time in Stockton to move on so he could have a fresh start when he was released.

xxx xxx

Chibs hated the look of disappointment on Juice's face every visit. Juice always seemed hopeful as he looked around the waiting room, then when he noticed it was just Chibs his face would fall and that was it for the rest of the visit.

Today was no different. However Chibs had the sealed envelope which contained the letter he thought would cheer the boy up.

"Sorry lad, she's not up for the travel and said she wasn't ready for a phone call." Juice was sad as ever, but perked up at Chibs' next words. "But she did give me this for you so hopefully it's a start. Don't think I've ever seen the girl like this before. She's struggling boy. But we got her. Just might take time yeah?"

Juice nodded and ripped into the envelope, thankful for finally connecting with her in some way.

Juan Carlos,

I'm so sorry I haven't been to see you or talked to you in person. I just can't bear to see the sadness I know will be in your eyes.

This has almost killed me. I've lost our child, the job I loved, and now my future chances at having a family.

Apparently the injuries have caused scar tissue that will probably extinguish any chance I have at starting a family and for that I'm sorry.

You deserve to have that family and I know you'll make an amazing father some day. I just wish it could have been to my children.

Because of all this I think it's best we call us quits. You need time to get over me so that when you're released you can find someone who can give you that family you deserve.

I'll figure something out for myself. Fresh start somewhere again I don't know. See if I can get another job where the team doesn't hate me for having constant time off thanks to the club.

Anyway, you are smart and generous and kind and everything good, I know you will find someone who can start a family with you and I wish you all the happiness in the world. And I want that for you. I'm sorry I couldn't do this in person but it's just still all too raw for me.

Look after yourself and know that none of this is your fault, I know what's probably going through your mind. But this was just a random accident, something neither of us could control, so please don't take on that guilt. You don't deserve it.

I love you,

Roxy.

Juice looked up from the letter to see Chibs' smiling face.

"So? Put your mind at rest a bit?"

Juice stared blankly at Chibs. "The fuck is this?!"

"What?" Chibs was confused now.

"She broke up with me!"

"She what?!" Chibs grabbed the letter and skimmed through it.

"Fucking hell." He rubbed his face. "Don't worry Juicey. She's just a bit messed up right now. She don't mean it."

"I think she does." He grabbed the letter back from Chibs and made his way out of the visitation room.

"Shit." Chibs got up to see if he could request a visit with Jax. This wasn't going to be good.


	41. Chapter 41

"For what it's worth I think you're making a huge mistake Roxy." Opie was at Juice's house with Roxy and the prospects helping her to pack her stuff together.

It was the first time Roxy had left her Mum's house and she just wanted it to be over quick.

She sighed and placed the picture frame in the box. "Opie, I don't wanna do this now. It's hard enough as it is."

"Then why do it?" He helped her pick up the box. It had only been a month since the accident and although she was recovering well she still wasn't to lift anything heavy.

"Because it's the right thing to do Ope." She walked alongside him to the TM van as he loaded the box in. "This is all just too much for me to handle. I can't drag him into it as well. Plus he's a good guy Opie. He really deserves a family, y'know? He's never had that and he needs it. And I can't give it to him."

"There are other ways to have a family Roxy. I think he cares more about you than that. Y'know he's back in solitary for the week again? Any more and he's gunna end up adding more time onto his sentence. That or get the others in trouble too."

Roxy groaned. She couldn't bear to think about how much he must be hurting. Solitary would only make it worse. "How is that my fault?"

"You could talk to him for a start. Answer a phone call at least?"

Juice has tried calling Roxy 3 times a day since Chibs gave him the letter. But she rejected the call each time.

"Opie I don't want to do this with you right now. I gotta sort my life out seeing as it has changed so drastically. We weren't even together that long I'm sure he'll get over it. I know I will." She turned and stomped back into the house knowing she was lying to Opie.

Opie knew it too.

xxx xxx

Kozik sat in the visitation room waiting on Juice. He had been sent to find out what Juice wanted to happen to the other driver. They'd managed to find out who he was and where he lived. He was your usual scumbag, lived alone, four kids to two different women that he didn't take care of, the child support payments were pitiful if he even made them. So Kozik knew this would be an easy kill. Juice had requested they find him, but this was before Roxy broke up with him so the guys were unsure of what to do now.

Juice didn't know who was visiting him. He still held out hope it was Roxy coming to her senses. When he got out of solitary last night he called Chibs for an update only to find out she'd moved out of his house at the beginning of the week. That broke him a little bit more.

However his heart dropped when he walked into the visitation room to see Kozik sitting at the table. He just wished it was Roxy, long brunette hair flowing and curled slightly, wearing her tight ripped skinny jeans and a tank top. He could still see her now from their last visit just before the accident. She was glowing, smiling bright enough to light up the room.

He could only imagine what she must be like now. If it was anything like him she'd be sucking the light right out of the room.

He walked past the other inmates with their women or children and it just pissed him off more. He wasn't sure who he was angry at but he was angry. He almost wished Roxy's accident had been club related. That way he could direct his hate onto someone else. But it was just a freak accident. At least they'd be able to make the other driver suffer but once he was gone that would be it and Juice would be left with that hate still there.

Kozik stood up to give Juice a bro hug before sitting back opposite him.

"How you doin bro?" Kozik was his usual lighthearted self. He hoped he could pass some of that on to Juice.

However Juice's face remained emotionless as he shrugged. "So what's happening? Roxy still at Gemma's?"

Kozik groaned inwardly. He knew that question was coming. "Yeah. She's talked about moving back to New York or somewhere else in Cali, but I don't think she's made anything serious yet. Still hasn't left Gemma's aside from the day she moved our of yours."

At least that was a positive. "Good, I guess." He looked around awkwardly. "So what's happening then?"

Kozik leant in. "We found the dude. What you want us to do?"

Juice frowned as he thought. "Make him suffer."

"Can do brother."

The were silent for a few moments before Juice spoke again. "Can you just keep an eye on her for me?"

"Always brother."

Juice nodded and mumbled a thanks before getting up and leaving the room. Kozik shook his head and vowed never to let any girl mess him up that bad.

xxx xxx

Kozik, Chibs, and Opie had spent an evening with the other driver and followed through on Juice's request. Rat and VLin had then taken the body out to Chigger woods to bury it. Roxy of course knew nothing about this. The one time retaliation had been discussed with her she said not to bother as it wouldn't change anything. But the guys figured if it could bring Juice some sort of peace then they'd do it.

Now Rat had been tasked with taking Roxy and Tara to the hospital for Roxy's 6week check up. It had been a little over 6 weeks since the accident and Roxy physically felt fine but she was far from actually being fine.

Everyone had been worried about her as she spent all of her time at Gemma's, drinking, smoking and watching Netflix. She hadn't spent hardly any time with Tara since it happened, she didn't want to be reminded of what she had lost seeing as Tara was now a little over six months pregnant. However Gemma couldn't come with her as she still had a while left on house arrest so she insisted Roxy take Tara for moral support.

"Well everything has healed in regards to the c section and it seems like your uterus is back to normal so you can expect a period to return any time now. I think it's safe to say you are ready to return to normal activities." Roxy nodded. "I have looked at the ultrasound results and it does look like there may be some scar tissue around where the placenta detached so as we discussed before this could hinder future family planning, but it's not impossible. We'll just have to take it as it comes. I'd like you to continue to be monitored so we can see how it continues to heal. For future reference."

"Can you give me a referral for an OBGYN in San Francisco?" Tara raised her eyebrows at that question.

"Of course, I'll print out a couple in a minute. Is there anything else you want to ask me?"

"No that's everything I guess."

"Ok I'll get you the referrals. I'll be right back."

Tara turned to Roxy. "San Francisco huh? Since when were you going there?"

"I need to get out of here Tara. I could go back to New York but I'd run the risk of bumping into Matt, which is all I need, and at least SanFran is close enough I can still see you guys when I want."

"And what about Juice? You're just going to abandon him like that?" Tara was starting to get annoyed.

"He's not a child Tara, I'm not abandoning him like an orphan. He's a big boy, he'll deal with it."

Tara glared at Roxy now. "That's just it Roxy, he's not dealing with it and it's putting Jax and the rest of the guys in there at risk. I get that you are hurting because you lost the baby, but it was his baby too and he's hurting also. You need to stop being so selfish and go talk to the guy before he does something that wrecks my family too." Roxy was stunned, she couldn't believe what Tara had said. "You can go back with Rat, I got shit to do around here."

Tara left Roxy sitting there in the office, contemplating what she had said. Roxy didn't really think it was fair but Tara was entitled to her opinion. She probably was being selfish but right now she didn't really give a shit.

xxx xxx

Once the appointment was over and she had her referrals Roxy had Ratboy take her by the clubhouse. She called Gemma and said she'd be spending some time there to get out the house. Gemma was over the moon, she'd really been starting to worry about Roxy.

The clubhouse was fairly busy, a few guys were visiting from Rogue River so there were plenty sweet butts and crow eaters around and there was a bit of a party happening. Not bad for a Friday night.

"What you doing here Roxy?" Kozik sidled up to her at the bar.

"Need a distraction." She signalled to VLin for a drink.

"How'd it go today?" He sipped his beer.

"I'm fully functioning once again." She smiled sarcastically. "Still no luck on the family front, but at least I've been cleared to lift heavy things and have sex." She fist pumped sarcastically and downed two shots of vodka before accepting the vodka Coke VLin poured.

Kozik eyed her. "Right Roxy. Just go easy yeah?"

"No promises. I just want to have a good time tonight. I need a bit of a laugh."

"Well you've come to the right place, we've got plenty of jokers here." He swiftly guided her round to one of the tables so she could join in the conversation with some of the RR guys.

Roxy enjoyed their company, no one made any sleazy comments and the girls seemed to even be respectful. She was sure someone must have filled everyone in on her but at least she could have fun in peace.

"Good to see her out and about." Opie pointed his beer bottle at Roxy who was laughing with Lyla and Kozik. He and Chibs were stood against the bar surveying the night's activities.

"Aye, let's make sure she has a good night. Maybe it'll change her attitude. I'm gunna need some good news to tell the lad soon 'fore he loses the plot all together." Referring to Juice.

"Amen to that brother."


	42. Chapter 42

As the night wore on Roxy, Lyla, and Kozik downed shot after shot. Roxy finally felt free from the burdens of losing the baby and disappointing Juice. She knew she probably broke his heart but she was determined this was best for him. She felt like crap doing it to him but really, deep down, she was scared.

She thought it would be easier for her if he hated her for breaking up with him than for losing the baby. Juice would never hate her or blame her for losing the baby, but in Roxy's mind it was a real fear she had the whole pregnancy. With her heart condition it was tricky and she had to take a lot of medication so it was always a worry that she could lose the baby at some point and in her mind she would have been letting him down so she was petrified of him hating her for that.

But Roxy was doing what she could to drink the pain away and forget her troubles. Not thinking that it could get her into a whole lot more trouble.

Slowly people had started to pair off for the evening. Chibs had taken a sweet butt back to his room and even Rat, Phil and VLin had managed to pick up. Unusual for Prospects to get a look in, however with so many of SAMCRO inside they were getting lucky tonight.

Kozik, Lyla, and Roxy were sitting in one of the booths with a couple of the Rogue Rover guys, they seemed to be the last ones on their lonesome but they were enjoying messing around. Eventually the last few girls got impatient and picked up the RR guys, leaving Lyla, Rox, and Kozik sitting there. Opie came over then, hating to break up their fun, but he wanted to get Lyla home before she was too drunk to function.

"Hey baby, wanna get going?" He wrapped his arms over Lyla's shoulders.

"Sure baby." She slurred while looking at him lovingly as she shuffled out of the booth.

Opie turned to Kozik now. "She stays here tonight. You're both too drunk for her to get home safely."

Kozik mock saluted Opie and Roxy just drunkenly giggled. "Sure thing cap'n. Now you go get your girl pregnant. We all know that's why you wanna leave."

Opie just slapped Kozik on the back of the head for the comment as he walked past, with Lyla draped over him.

Roxy's smile faltered but she just took another shot.

Eventually her and Kozik were the last two really standing and he offered to help her find an empty room. Juice's room had stayed empty, thankfully, he'd have died if someone was in there raking around his shit. The guys must have taken the spare keys for Jax, Chibs, Bobby, and Clay's rooms and handed them out. Somehow Juice's remained empty. Unfortunately someone had stolen Kozik's so he decided that after he used Juice's toilet he was going to head back to the sofa.

As they entered the room Roxy was hit by everything Juice. His scent lingered on everything, his things were in their exact places like always, and his bed perfectly made. Roxy sighed and looked around, noticing the odd thing she had left there over the last few months that she hadn't collected. Even a maternity top was hanging on one of the hooks near the bathroom, she'd left it here one day as a back up in case she got mucky helping clean up thanks to Gemma's absence. The memories and the feelings were overwhelming as she sat in the room.

"You gunna be ok in here?" Kozik, even in his drunken state noticed Roxy's apprehension. "I woulda offered you my room but it appears to be taken."

Roxy sat on the edge of the bed, putting crinkles in the perfectly straight sheets. "I dunno if I'll ever be ok again."

Kozik sighed and moved over to sit next to her on the bed. Comforting drunk, emotional women when he was drunk was not his forte. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and tried to give her a kind of half hug. "It's going to be alright eventually doll. You just gotta figure it out."

Roxy rested her head on Kozik's arm, for once she didn't feel like crying so she was happy to sit and allow the drunken buzz to flow over her. Then she had an idea.

Reaching into Juice's bedside drawer, she moved aside the condoms, and that pair of her panties, and found a joint.

Kozik watched her pull it out with a triumphant grin on her face. "Party time! Sure he won't mind."

Roxy did feel a bit guilty stealing his stuff but that feeling was outweighed by her buzz.

After a few tokes they were both feeling pretty relaxed. Roxy lay back on the bed and when she passed the joint to Kozik he followed suit. They had their feet dangling over the edge as they passed it back and forth. When it was done Kozik leaned over Roxy and stubbed it out on the ashtray on the bedside table.

When he pulled back across her looked down at her peaceful face, first time he'd seen that expression in weeks. Even as he was escorting her when she was pregnant she didn't have that expression. She always had someone to take care of, running around for Gemma, appointments for the baby, cases at work, and on top of it all caring for Juice. Running around visiting Juice was one thing but Kozik knew he had high emotional needs for a dude. He always saw how stressed Roxy was when she came out of visitations. He figured loving Juice had been a big burden on her shoulders, never worrying about herself, always worrying about him and his needs.

Roxy looked up into his bright blue eyes, different from the chocolate brown she was used to, and found herself leaning up. Kozik took the hint and crashed his lips on to hers. It was messy and sloppy in their drunken state but they didn't seem to care.

Roxy lost all idea of what was going on and just went with it. Somehow they ended up falling onto the floor as Kozik helped her pull her clothes off and they just got lost in the moment.

xxx xxx

After they finished they rolled apart and after looking up at the computer desk, seeing all the nearly organised things, Roxy realised what had happened.

"You need to leave." She said blankly to Kozik.

He was busy shoving his shirt back on. "Uh... Ok." He got up and offered her his hand, which she refused. "You going to be ok?"

"Just go Kozik." Roxy pulled her top against her and sat up on the bed.

"Yeah. Sure thing." Kozik gave her one last look and left the room.

Roxy lay back on the bed and started to cry, the realisation of the betrayal hitting her. She may have broken up with Juice but she still loved him, and doing that in his room was just the worst thing she could do to him.

Curling into his pillow, smelling the faint trace of him still there, she cried herself to sleep about the mess she found herself in.

xxx xxx

The next morning Roxy woke up with the worst hangover she'd ever experienced. She had no idea how she functioned last night. As the sun crept in under the blinds she attempted to sit up but the swimming in her head brought her crashing back down to reality.

"Fuck! What did I do last night?" The reality of her and Kozik's encounter brought on a fresh wave of tears and it was a while before she could get up again.

By the time she eventually dragged herself out of bed the clubhouse was showing signs of life.

Roxy pulled out one of Juice's tshirts and jumpers and threw them on over the top of her jeans before making her way into the barroom, fully intent on going home.

She surveyed the devastation in the barroom and looked around for someone who could take her home.

Phil was behind the bar as Chibs, Kozik, Rat and a couple of the Rogue River guys were drinking coffee.

Chibs gave her an approving smile as he saw she was wearing Juice's stuff, what he didn't know was that she also raided his bathroom and sprayed some of his deodorant and aftershave onto them as well. Chibs also didn't know how guilty she felt, especially when she met Kozik's eyes across the bar.

"Phil would you give me a ride to my Ma's?"

"Yeah of course." He motioned for her to follow him out.

Roxy gave everyone a half hearted smile, avoiding Kozik's gaze, before following Phil to the van.

"I see last night's happier attitude was short lived." Chibs said to Kozik nodding after Roxy.

"Yeah." He followed her out with his eyes. His own wave of guilt suddenly crashing over him.

xxx xxx

Juice hadn't left the cell for a couple of days and Jax was starting to get pissed off. Today would be the third day he'd not eaten and Jax wasn't going to stand for it.

"Dude man the fuck up!" Jax's sudden outburst surprised Juice but he just stayed put. Jax sighed before starting again. "Look I get it, this is a bullshit situation and there's nothing you can do about it. But you need to suck it up before something shit happens in here. We ain't gunna be able to protect you forever if you keep this shit up. People are talking out there."

Juice looked at Jax now and rubbed his head. "Ok. I'm sorry bro just don't know what the fuck is happening any more."

"I know brother. But trust me Roxy will come round."

He jumped off the bunk and walked past Jax to go get breakfast. "Yeah after she fucking kills me in the process."

Jax sighed and followed after him.

xxx xxx

For the next week Roxy spent all her time back in Gemma's house smoking and drinking as usual. In her downtime she was searching for jobs and places to stay in San Francisco as well as researching those OBGYNs the doctor gave her. She had decided she would need to move before Juice was released. She needed to make this as easy on him as possible, which gave her about seven months, especially seeing as now there was no way she could ever look him in the eye again after what she did with Kozik. God that was such a mistake. A mistake she could barely remember, she didn't even enjoy it so why had she done it? She knew why. She was lonely, upset, confused, drunk, high, and wanted it to be Juice.

Kozik had also spent all week feeling guilty. He had been keeping up with depositing commissary payments for Tig, Clay, and Juice as well as visiting them to keep up contact.

Kozik had put off his visit to Juice all week but he knew now what he had to do. Yeah there was a prison clause, which Roxy was more than allowed to take advantage of, but their situation was different and it just felt shitty to him. So when Saturday's visitation rolled around he decided he needed to own up to Juice. Then he was paying Roxy a visit.

As usual Juice's faint glimmer of hope was crushed when he saw it was Kozik sat at his visitation table. They shared a brief bro hug before sitting opposite one another. Kozik filled him in at first on the other driver and what happened to him but after that they ran out of things to talk about.

Kozik was acting kind of shifty so Juice eventually had to ask, "so what's up dude? Something going on with Roxy?" He figured Kozik would probably tell him she had upped and moved already but he really wasn't expecting what was said next.

"Well, uh, I gotta tell you something. And I don't think you're gunna like it." Juice looked at him expectantly. "Well, last Friday we had a bit of a party at the clubhouse and well me n Roxy got real drunk. Like real, real, drunk, dude. And well one thing led to another and that was it. It was a total mistake and I think she hates me now for it. So, uh, yeah..." Kozik looked nervously around the room, thinking now this was probably a bad idea. If Juice lost his shit and ended up with more time it'd be Kozik's fault.

"What?! How could she do that to me?" Juice looked pretty devastated.

"Well to be honest, dude, I don't think she really knew what she was doing. Neither of us did. Like I said we were both drunk and she was in your room crying and shit coz all your stuff was there and-"

"You did it in my FUCKING room?! Some brother you are." He stood up. "Don't come back here again." His voice was menacing, teeth bared. "And tell Roxy not to bother either. She's not welcome at my house or my room at the clubhouse."

With that Juice reigned in his anger as best he could and stormed off out of the room.


	43. Chapter 43

**A/N: glad you guys are still enjoying the drama.**

Kozik arrived at Gemma's and asked to go up and see her under the premise of passing on Juice information. Gemma just let him go for it.

Roxy was smoking a joint on her bed with Netflix on the tv.

"What are you doing here?" She whisper shouted.

"I need to talk to you." Kozik came in and sat down on the end of her bed.

Roxy scrunched her face and pulled her legs further in towards her.

"What do you want?"

"I went to see Juice today."

"You didn't tell him did you?" She watched the expressions on his face. "You did, didn't you?" When he nodded Roxy jumped off her bed and started pacing in front of him. "What the fuck is wrong with you Kozik?! Do you have any idea what this is going to do?"

"I couldn't help it, he's a brother I had to say." The truth was more that Kozik didn't really want to live with the lie, he felt too guilty.

Roxy groaned in frustration. "You have no idea what Juice is like, do you? This is going to kill him, it's going to completely fuck with his head."

"It'd fuck with any guy's head Roxy."

"Yeah well Juice's head gets fucked a lot easier." She groaned and flopped on the bed. "How did he take it?"

"How do you expect?"

She smacked her hand on the bed. "God sake Kozik. This was so not worth it."

"Gee thanks."

"Ugh. Look can we just clean this shit up. I need to talk to him now. Last thing I want is for him to do something stupid."

Just then Gemma barged in the room.

"So I just got a very pissed off call from Clay. Apparently Jax, Happy, and, Tig all got busted to solitary saving Juice's ass in the canteen... Don't suppose it has anything to do with this little conversation?" Gemma motioned between the two.

Roxy glared at Kozik. "Ask him." She got up and brushed past Gemma.

"Well Clay is pissed that he and Bobby have been left alone in there now. So someone better enlighten me." Roxy continued down the hall so Gemma turned to Kozik who also got up and left the room.

"Who'd have thought a little bit of boning would cause this much trouble." Gemma said to herself before following them out the room.

xxx xxx

Juice couldn't believe his stupidity. He didn't even have a chance to tell Jax what happened when he was walking across the yard some asshole started on him and then it was on. Before he had a chance to think about what he was doing he landed a punch. Of course Happy, Tig, and Jax ran in to help him but that resulted in the four of them being sent to solitary.

This meant that Bobby and Clay were left alone out there. Clay was going to be super pissed at Juice. But that was the least of his worries right now.

Having not had the chance to talk to anyone else about his latest problem, Juice was left to continuously go through it by himself. So as he did his solitary routine of making his cot the perfect way, doing hundreds of push-ups, pacing the width of the cell, and cleaning his toilet, he just ran over and over all the different possibilities in his head. Obviously Roxy was over him, why else would she sleep with Kozik? Did she want to have a baby with him? Was he going to be able to offer her what he couldn't? Maybe they'd go back to Tacoma together.

These thoughts just kept on a loop in his head each time he'd add on more and just wish that there was something he could do to stop it all.

xxx xxx

Juice and the guys were let out of solitary on Thursday afternoon, after hearing what happened Jax's first stop was the phones.

Roxy answered the Stockton call, hoping for once it was Juice.

"JC?"

"So now you want to talk to him." Her brother's agitated voice came through the crackly phone.

"Jax I'm so sorry. What happened?"

"Maybe you can start."

"I honestly don't know what happened." Roxy started sobbing into the phone. "Everything is so fucked up. My whole life is ruined. And I didn't mean to hurt JC, but I thought he'd be better off, and now I've really fucked it up for him. I didn't mean to."

"You didn't mean to sleep with Kozik?"

"No Jax. I was drunk and he took me to Juice's room because I had to stay at the clubhouse. And it was just so sad. There was pregnancy stuff in there and I just I dunno..."

Jax sighed lengthily into the phone. "I'm sorry Rox. You know I am. But you're gunna have to talk to him now. This shits gone on too long. We all have stuff happening while we're in here. Happy's mom is real sick, I'm missing out on Tara's shit and Tig is missing out on his weekly crow eater's visit." Roxy giggled at that part. "So please just come make this right."

"Ok I'll come up on Saturday."

"Thank you Jesus."

Roxy giggled again. Thankful for her brother's call as they continued to talk.

xxx xxx

Saturday rolled around far quicker than she had wanted it too. She had no idea what to say to Juice but she still loved him and she needed to make sure he was ok.

Dressing in a nice, tight, knee length, black skirt she paired it with her flowy peach blouse.

Harley had come over on Friday night for wine and a pep talk. She had been on team Juice since this all happened and was desperate for Roxy to just get back with him. This had led to Roxy ignoring her for a few weeks but now she needed that.

Harley's words of wisdom from the morning rang in her ears as she made her way to the afternoon visitation. As she made her way to the prison she passed where she had the accident and almost turned back around. But she had made it this far.

Little did Roxy know, Gemma had Opie tailing her just in case anything happened. Gemma knew this visit wouldn't be easy and she wanted someone there to watch out for her.

Roxy squirmed in her seat with nerves, eyes glued to the inmate entrance as she waited for Juice. She had some idea now of what to say, but when she finally saw him everything blanked out of her mind.

He looked broken, Roxy had no idea how much she had put him through, she felt more selfish than ever now.

His hair had well and truly grown out and under any other circumstance she would have thought how sexy he looked. He was extremely lean, probably from not eating she guessed, but he had even more muscles now than the last time she saw him. Roxy knew this was from him obsessively working out.

Juice assumed it would be Chibs checking in on him today, but when he looked up and saw Roxy his heart soared for a moment. Before plummeting dramatically into his stomach at the thought of her and Kozik together in his bed.

He was ready to turn around and walk out but after seeing the hopeful expression on her face he let the anger take over.

He stormed over to the visitation table, careful not to alert the guards to his mood, avoiding the gaze of other inmates and stood in front of her.

For a moment he couldn't help take her in, she looked gorgeous as ever in her blouse, and the tight fitting skirt was clearly meant to distract him. However she was slightly less curvy than he remembered. Granted she'd been pregnant last time he saw her but now she looked more than just not pregnant. She was skinnier. He figured she was probably eating just as well as he was. He hoped it was because she missed him but then again it could just be the guilt.

"JC?"

He realised he'd been staring for too long so he sat down across from her and folded his arms across his chest. "What do you want Roxy?"

He almost looked menacing like this. Roxy knew he had a dangerous side, being in the club after all, but she'd never seen it directed at her before.

"T-to talk."

Juice chuckled humourlessly. "You want to talk? Now?" He shook his head before uncrossing his arms and leaning forward on the table. "It's been two months since our baby died. Two months you haven't talked to me. Asked how I was. Nothing. It's been 6 weeks since you broke up with me, by letter. Didn't want to talk then. You were planning to move to SanFran without so much as a by-your-leave. And now because you fucked Kozik in my bed you wanna talk?"

Roxy flinched at the venom in his voice. She knew she deserved it. "We didn't fuck in your bed." She said quietly. "It's not what you think."

"You have no fucking idea what I think. You haven't cared what I've thought this whole time." He looked at her downcast face. She couldn't even look him in the eyes. "I know you're sad or whatever, but he was my baby too." He was silent for a beat. "Don't come back here."

With that he got up and left a stunned Roxy at the table watching him leave.

xxx xxx

When Roxy made it to her car she broke down. She knew she deserved it but it broke her heart to see him like that. To have all his anger and hate directed at her. He wasn't happy, he wasn't his usual goofy self. She had ruined him. What had she been thinking?

She calmed down enough to leave the car park but then she was faced with a tough choice. If she turned left she'd be heading back to Charming to face her mom and Harley. If she turned right she'd be able to find a bar somewhere in Stockton to drown her sorrows in peace. Only thing was no one knew she'd be there and that was dangerous.

She considered for a moment then realised she didn't really care what happened to her at the moment so she turned right and made her way to down town Stockton, see if she could find some dive pub to drink at.

What Roxy didn't notice was the black van trailing her. She wouldn't have peace for long.


	44. Chapter 44

Opie parked the black van across the road from the bar as Roxy made her way inside. He was going to go in after her and see what she was up to but he saw her mood written all over her face as she walked from the car to the door and figured it was safer staying in the van. He'd keep an eye out for her leaving.

xxx xxx

Juice was conflicted. One the one hand he had been relieved almost that he had seen her. But then the sting of the betrayal of her sleeping with Kozik just stabbed him in the heart. Sure she had broken up with him but it didn't mean shit and she must have known that given she'd broken down in his room. He also noticed the faint smell of his aftershave on her when he was sitting across from her in the visitation room.

This was all such a fucking mess and they needed to sort it all out. He had so been looking forward to finishing this sentence and having a family to go back to. Even if now that family was just Roxy.

The most devastating part of this whole thing was knowing when he got out of here he'd be all alone. Once again.

xxx xxx

Roxy was on her fourth drink when someone approached her at the bar.

"Buy you another?"

Roxy eyed him, the slight Spanish accent giving away that he was probably someone she shouldn't talk to. But she didn't care. His tan skin and big brown eyes reminded her enough of Juice to keep him around.

"Sure." She gave him a smile and let him buy a round.

The two of them shared a few more drinks and bantered together. Manny, his name was, seemed funny and interesting. It was nice to have someone to talk to that didn't know what had happened. It kind of gave her an idea of what her fresh life in San Francisco could be like.

However after a while the guy got a bit pushy. She hadn't intended on picking up tonight, just distracting herself. So she was eager to get out of there.

"Thanks for the company but I need to head off." She looked at her watch and it was well after 10. Gemma must be starting to worry.

"Sure I can't tempt you to stay mami?" He gave her a wink.

"Nah sorry. Maybe some other time?" She gave him a flirty grin but picked up her back to leave.

"Sure thing." He watched her leave.

Roxy had almost made it to her car when she heard the footsteps behind her. She cursed herself for not only parking at the far, dark side of the lot, but also for leaving her gun in the glovebox of her car.

"Yo, mami, I didn't get your number." He stopped just behind her.

Roxy breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh sorry." She gave him a false number and tried to say goodbye again. But he put his hand on her door to stop her from opening it.

"Uh, Manny I needa go."

"Nah mami, thought we'd have some fun first." He pushed her up against the car. In the dark corner of the lot there was no hope anyone would see her.

Opie had been waiting for her to come out of the bar but must have dozed off. He jumped as he woke up and remembered what he was here to do. He frantically looked across the lot for her car and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw it still there.

That's when he saw the movement in the shadows next to her car. That didn't seem right. He couldn't tell who the figures were but there weren't any other cars parked there so he figured it must be Roxy.

Opie checked his gun, jumped out of the van and made his way across the lot.

He rounded the car to hear Roxy's muffled yells for help as this guy was on top of her.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Opie yelled as he pulled the guy up by the scruff of the neck and bailed him up against the car.

Opie wasn't quite quick enough though. Manny was smaller than Ope which made him quicker and he landed a swift punch to Ope's groin making him drop his guard. Roxy scrambled to her feet as the pair scuffled. Ope had size and power on his side but Manny was quick and lithe. She was just about to open her car to grab her gun when Ope got the upper hand and took Manny in a choke hold, cutting off his air supply.

After a moment Manny's body went limp and Opie relaxed. "Fucking hell Roxy."

"I dunno what happened."

"Yeah well it's done now. Do you know who he is?"

"Just some guy I met in the bar."

Opie moved over to check the guy's ink. He had noticed some during the scuffle. After opening his shirt he saw the Mayan ink. "Shit Rox. Did he know who you were?"

"If he did he didn't say anything."

"This is bad. They find out and our truce is off."

"What do we do?"

"Just wait here. I'll get the van."

Roxy nodded and slumped against the car. She slowly tried to figure out what the hell had happened. Once again she had created a mess others had to deal with. If the Mayans found out about this the club would be in deep shit and with half the club inside it wouldn't be good.

Opie returned a second later with the club's black van. He must have been tailing her for a while. Opie jumped out and struggled to get the body in the van.

After a few minutes he scanned the lot for any witnesses or security cameras but there was nothing.

He turned to Roxy and checked her over again. She had a few grazes but nothing major. "Ok you gotta go straight back to Gemma's. I'll deal with him."

"I can help you Ope. It's my mess after all."

"No Rox. You go. I'll handle it." He gave her a hug and pushed her towards the car. "I'll come by check on you after. Don't breathe a word of this to anyone."

Roxy nodded and got in her car. Did she just attract trouble like a fucking magnet?

xxx xxx

Opie struggled for a bit. No one else in the club could find out about this it would just cause trouble. If he buried the body at Chigger Woods where the club usually did he ran the risk of them finding the body. So he had to come up with something else. Eventually he decided on Hale's property development, Charming Heights. There were plenty of spots there he could hide him and if a dead body turned up in the development it would hurt the progress. Something the club would appreciate.

After he managed to bury the body, a task that was far harder on his lonesome, he headed to Gemma's.

Roxy was holed away in her room again trying to hide from Gemma in case she figured out something had happened. Luckily Gemma had already gone to bed, so after Roxy had said hello through the door. She probably shouldn't have driven all that way back after drinking so much but now she was safe in her bed.

Opie texted and said he was on his way up to her room. Roxy sat up in bed and pulled out her smokes. She offered one to Opie as he came in the room. He stomped over and threw himself down on her bed and accepted.

"So how you doing?" He lit up and exhaled after a deep breath.

"Ok I guess. Bit shocked. But I'm ok. How'd you go?"

"Yeah fine. It's all good. You know we can't tell a soul about this yeah?"

"Yeah I know."

"It'll put us in a lot of trouble if the club finds out or if anyone else finds out. Club could patch me out for killing another MC member without permission."

"They wouldn't if they knew you were helping me. But I won't tell a soul."

"Ok good."

Roxy leant over to give him a hug. "Thanks for looking out for me Opie. Hadn't realised you were tailing me." Opie returned the embrace.

"You know I'll always look out for ya."

"Oh Jesus. Roxy do you need to sleep with every member of SAMCRO? Coz that's going to get very messy." Gemma drolly said as she leaned on Roxy's door frame.

"Ugh whatever Ma." She patted Opie's arm as he laughed and pushed him up. "See you tomorrow."

"Yeah we gotta talk about Juice some more."

"Sure." Roxy looked down.

"See you Ma." He stopped to give Gemma a kiss.

"Night Roxy." Gemma blew a kiss to her and followed Opie out. After she shut the door she jogged after him. "Opie. We gotta talk. I have a plan."


	45. Chapter 45

Roxy spent the next couple days wallowing in self pity. She'd has a scary time on Saturday night and it was her own fault. She had come so close to a horrible ending and was just lucky Ope had been tasked with tailing her. That was on top of realising Juice hated her, which was the last thing she wanted, and officially wanted nothing to do with her just as she was changing her mind.

Juice had also had a change for the books. He was no longer pitying himself. Now he was using his anger at Roxy to just get on with things and change his thinking. Hopefully this would lead to him getting over her. He just couldn't believe that she'd ignore him for two months, break up with him via a note, but then come to see him only because she felt guilty. What right did she have to fuck him around like that.

Gemma, Opie, and Jax on the other hand had been busy plotting. Ope had called Gemma as he watched Roxy sobbing her heart out in the prison car park after her meet with Juice. He knew she had just then realised what she had lost and wanted it back. Opie knew Juice was everything she'd ever wanted, aside from the club connection, and knew it would kill her to lose him for good, no matter how hard she tried to convince herself it was right. Jax had seen the change in attitude in Juice since he stormed out of visitation. He knew he was just trying to harden himself against the hurt. And that would change him as a person. A change Jax didn't want to see in Juice.

So come Tuesday morning everything was set. Roxy joined Gemma for their morning coffee and joint session. As they settled Gemma spoke up.

"So Clay needs to see you today."

"Ugh mom if it's just to bitch me out about Juice I'd rather not walk into that lions den."

"Nah club shit he said."

Roxy was confused. Her father never involved her in club stuff and the first thing that popped to her head was the Mayan. Shit.

"He say what?"

"Nope. Not a clue. Just that it wasn't about Juice. Guess he needs someone to do something that I would usually handle. Trusts you baby. You need to be there at 1."

Roxy glanced at the clock. It was already 11:30. She better get a move on. Sighing she dumped her coffee, stubbed out the smoke, and ran to her room. She threw on her blue sundress and a grey cardigan before quickly applying some makeup to at least try make herself look presentable.

Roxy called Opie on the way to Stockton and he assured her that it couldn't have been about the Mayan and that they were in the clear for all that. She just had to believe him and take whatever her dad had to throw at her.

Roxy checked herself one last time in her mirror before heading inside for the pre-visitation check in and search.

This time, however, after the search Roxy was taken down a different corridor to a private visitation room. Something must have really gone down if they were meeting in private. The guard showed her in and shut the door behind her, leaving her to contemplate what the hell this was all about.

Clay had told Juice that Rosen was wanting to meet with all of them separately to discuss their parole hearings and that his appointment was today. So Juice wasn't particularly expecting much when he was led to the private visitation room.

The guard unshackled him and opened the door. Before Juice had a chance to comprehend who was sitting there the guard told him the cameras were off and that he had 20 minutes. That's when he saw Roxy sitting at the table in all her glory.

Roxy panicked when she saw Juice come in and when the guard said the cameras were off and locked the door she got up and backed into the wall.

"Why am I here? What are you going to do to me?" Roxy was sure he'd never hurt her but he was pretty angry and you never know. Why else was she here?

Juice sighed and walked over to the table to take a seat. "I dunno I thought you musta set this up. I thought I was meeting with Rosen."

Roxy let her guard down slightly. "Oh. I thought I was meeting with Clay." She moved to sit back in the seat across the table from Juice.

"So what are we doing here then?"

"I don't know. But I have a feeling my parents are to blame." She looked down at her hands before looking up at Juice and tucking a hair behind her ear. "I can go if you want?" Juice just shrugged which Roxy took as an invitation to stay. She looked at him for a few minutes, really studying his appearance as he glared at his hands on the table. "I'm really sorry JC. For everything."

"Why did you break up with me?" His abrupt tone caught her off guard.

She considered for a moment before answering. "I guess I was just quickening the inevitable."

"The inevitable?"

"JC, I probably won't be able to have kids. And I know that having a family is something you want, something you need, so I just sped the process up and hoped it made it easier for the both of us."

"Why do you think I'd leave you for that?" He was somewhat hurt by the accusation he'd be so low.

Roxy sighed again. "Because when you get out of here and the reality of thay sets in for you, like it already has for me, you'll want out. You'll see all the hot, young, crow eaters round the clubhouse who can give you that family and take care of you and you'll want to be with them over me. And I'd never blame you for that."

Juice jumped up and started pacing, his temper getting the better of him. "How do you know that's what I'd do? Huh? There are other ways to have a family Roxy. And I only want that with you. But you fucked that up the night you fucked Kozik." He kicked the chair.

Roxy stood up now and walked over to him, pleading. "That's not how it happened JC. I barely fucking remember it. I was just so sad for you, for me, for everything. And just being in your room... I dunno. I just wished I was with you." She placed her hand on his arm but he yanked it away.

"Yeah you really must have wished you were with me." He said sarcastically. "You fucked him! In my room! You know how I am about my personal space but you still did it anyway." He crowded her against the wall as he walked towards her.

Roxy's back hit the wall and she forced herself to look at his face. He now had both hands against the wall either side of her head, caging her in. She could feel the anger radiating off him, hear his hard breathing, and see the emotion behind his eyes.

"You have to know how sorry I am. I just wished you were mine again. That I hadn't fucked things up so bad."

Juice looked at her for a few seconds, searching for something in her eyes. He must have found it because he crashed his lips against hers. All the anger, angst, and loneliness of the past few months poured out into the hard and punishing kiss.

Roxy was surprised. At first she had almost thought he was going to punch her, but when she realised what was happening she kissed him back. Roxy grabbed hold of his shirt with one hand and the back of his head with the other and pulled him in as close as she could. She needed him, needed to feel him and just have him make her feel happy again.

Juice pulled away slightly so he could kiss her jaw as he ran his hand down to her chest to knead her breast.

"I want you to get my crow so that Kozik and every other guy out there fucking knows you're mine." He almost growled against her neck.

Roxy mumbled an agreement around her moan. "Where do you want it?" She asked as she ran her hands down his back.

Juice responded by biting into the flesh above her left breast. "There."

Roxy's breathing hitched at the pain, she could tell Juice was still angry but that wanted her at the same time.

Two could play at this rough game though. "If I get your crow you can get my name." She moved her hands down to the front of his track pants.

He seemed amused by her demand. "Is that right?" He asked. He was in charge here, he reminded her of that by thrusting into her against the wall and pinning her arms above her head. "Where would I be getting that?"

Roxy moved her lips down to his neck and sucked hard. Juice groaned. She knew he loved that spot.

"There will do. Then all those girls at the clubhouse will know you're my family." She whispered against his ear.

That was it for Juice, he grabbed her and pulled her over to the table and lifted her onto it. They wouldn't have much time left in here and he wanted this over before the guards came wandering back in. He pulled the top of her dress down slightly to free her breasts, he relished the sight after so long in here, he could even see the top of her chandelier tatt poking up.

While Juice was ogling her Roxy swiftly pushed his track pants and pants down to release him and Juice groaned at her touch, he was already so close.

Without much more warning he pulled Roxy's hips so she was right on the edge and thrust into her. Roxy moaned at the sudden fullness and rested her head against his shoulder as she moved her hips to meet his thrusts.

"JC! Please..." She didn't know what she was asking for but he gave it to her.

"No more fucking around Rox. You're mine. For good. That's it. Doesn't matter what happens." Juice managed to get out between thrusts.

Roxy nodded against him and dug her nails into his back as she reached her release. Juice followed closely behind and let go of her so he could lean against the table.

After they both caught their breath he looked back into her eyes.

"We still got a lot to talk about."

Roxy nodded and averted her eyes. "I know. I am so sorry though."

Juice nodded his acceptance and rearranged his uniform.

Roxy hopped off the table and smartened herself up. There was no hiding the 'I-just-got-fucked' look thought and Juice chuckled and admired the blooming mark on her left breast, exactly where he wanted to permanently mark her. Roxy was also admiring her handiwork on his neck.

Once they'd finished staring at each other Juice embraced her, he wanted to feel her as close as possible one last time, he knew how much money, and favours, a visit like this would have cost and it was likely it wouldn't happen again. Roxy smelled the same as she always did, her perfume making his head dizzy as he tried to commit it to memory.

They managed to share a few more kisses before there was a knock on the door. "All right lovebirds time to go."

xxx xxx

"Well he's got the 'I-just-got-fucked' smile on his stupid face. So unless he bumped into someone on his way back I'm gunna assume that visit went well." Tig nudged Clay when they spotted Juice walking across the yard.

"Better fucking have. Cost me enough."

Jax rolled his eyes, not really wanting to think about the idiot and his sister going at it in some seedy prison visitation room.

When Juice finally arrived at the group there was no mistaking the hickey on his neck, Tig pulled his collar down to inspect it and ended up seeing the marks in his back too.

"Jeez Louise kid. You guys sure made the most of that visit." He patted him on the back and went back to sit on the bench.

Clay ignored the comment. "Well?" He looked expectantly at Juice.

"We worked shit out."

"Clearly." Jax rolled his eyes. Finally they were free of Juice's dangerous moods, only now he had to think about him and Roxy 'working things out'.

 **A/N: so finally an end to all the angst... For now. Season 4 is starting very soon and we all know what that means. Sad Juicey. But I have some things in store.**

 **Thanks for the review as always. Keeps me motivated.**


	46. Chapter 46

**A/N: just a bit of filler before we hit season 4. Thanks for the reviews and keeping me motivated!**

"He's beautiful Jax. And you should be proud of Tara she handled it like a champion." Roxy was visiting Jax for the Thursday morning slot before Juice in the afternoon. Tara had given birth to a beautiful baby boy on Tuesday night so Roxy excitedly agreed to come give Jax the photos.

Jax teared up looking at the photos of his second son and Tara holding him. There were pictures of everyone holding him, except for Roxy.

"No photo of you here."

Roxy looked down. "No. There isn't."

Jax reached over and squeezed her hand. He knew how hard this must be for her. She should have been ready to pop with her baby by now. But that wasn't happening. He'd seen the same look on Juice's face when they heard the news yesterday. Clay had called Gemma for an update on everyone only to find out Tara had the baby a few days early. Everyone congratulated Jax and Clay even brought out a smuggled cigar for him to have. Juice had stayed on the sidelines once he congratulated him. It was just as tough for him as it seemed to be for Roxy.

"Your time will come."

Roxy squeezed his hand back and gave him a weak smile. "Maybe."

xxx xxx

"Roxy?! Delivery for you!" Gemma called up the stairs.

Roxy could barely move, her hangover was killing her. Today was supposed to be her baby's due date. So last night Harley, Lyla, and Ima took her out for drinks and a good time. Things had been going well until Ima turned into a drama queen for not being centre of attention. She ended up finding some guy and ditching the group. Not that Roxy cared. Ima was far too entitled for her own good.

Roxy slowly made her way down the stairs to the kitchen where her mum had been yelling from.

"What is your problem?" Roxy plonked down on a seat and stole one of her mums cigarettes.

"These came for you baby."

Gemma walked over and sat a massive box of flowers in front of Roxy. Roxy looked at the display of soft pink and white lilies in awe. It was a stunning arrangement. There was a card attached so she pulled it off and opened it.

Roxy,

Sorry I can't be with you today, but just know I love you and nothing will ever change that.

Love,

JC

Roxy wiped a stray tear from her eye as her mum squeezed her shoulder.

"He's a good egg that boy."

Roxy nodded and stood up, taking the card with her up to her room where she intended on spending the rest of the day waiting on Juice's call.

xxx xxx

"So how have you been?" Roxy eyed Juice from across the visitation table.

Things had been going well since they made up a couple months ago, but Happy got some bad news about his sick mum and lost his temper out in the yard. This resulted in a slight riot and the boys had spent the week in solitary once again.

Luckily they only had a little over 3 months left.

"Yeah alright I guess. Fucking glad to be outta that hole again." He rubbed his hands over his shiny black locks. The grown out hair was rubbing off on Roxy. She thought he looked damn sexy. "How's things out there?"

"Alright. Ma's still drilling everyone at TM for letting the office get in such a state. She did buy Chucky these weird fucking hand things on eBay so he could help her. Definitely creepy." Juice chuckled and squeezed her hand on the table. He wasn't going to lie he was struggling now. Time had seemed to slow down to a stand still and their last stint in solitary without access to Roxy had really eaten at him. That combined with what should have been their baby's due date, Juice was a little bit torn up. "I've been spending my time supervising Rat and VLin move Unser's stuff."

Juice looked confused. "Where's he moving to?"

"Ah, Della left him. Thought I told you. But he's moving into his trailer for now so I helped them organise his things, some of his stuff is going to storage and the rest to his trailer."

Juice felt bad for Unser. Since he helped the club with the whole Stahl plan things hadn't been going well for him. "How's he taking all that?"

"Well he's sad Della left him for a high flying retiree, blames it on the cancer. So I'm just trying to keep him company I guess. Poor guy." She looked at the concerned expression on his face. "You sure you're ok baby?"

Juice nodded and his face softened slightly as he looked into her clear blue eyes, finding the peace he always saw there. "Yeah. Fine now."

She smiled at him but she worried the longer he stayed in here the less fine he'd be.

xxx xxx

Lyla was officially killing everyone with wedding details. They had settled on the date, they would do it the day the boys were getting released. The date had finally been announced now the boys passed their parole hearings. They were to be released at the end of the month. Provided nothing crazy happened between now and then.

It had been a long 13 months, and for Roxy and Juice it had been very turbulent with everything that happened in their relationship. Now she couldn't wait to have him back and attempt reality again.

The rest of the guys inside had also had their fair share of dramas, with Happy being the worst hit. Luckily his mum was out of hospital and back home again. For now. But she was really ill. This had put a major strain on him and resulted in another short solitary stint for Happy, Juice, and Tig. But things were looking up.

"So I'm gunna have the party next weekend. Harley is organising it with a couple of the other girls and Kozik is overseeing the Bachelor side of things." Lyla, Roxy, Gemma, and Tara were currently enjoying drinks at the clubhouse. Except for Tara who was still breastfeeding and has opted for a Coke without the vodka.

Roxy was dreading the joint bachelor/bachelorette party, for a start she was having to help out and secondly Juice wouldn't be there so she was not looking forward to a night of fielding off guys thanks to her lack of crow. Not that she assumed tons of guys would be all over her but she knew there were some other charters coming down and things would probably get hectic.

As Roxy had guessed the party was as draining as she thought it would be. She had been running around all week getting stuff organised for it to help out Tara. Tara was maid of honour and lone bridesmaid but had limited capacity thanks to Abel and the new baby. So Roxy was roped in to everything.

Now she was sitting at the bar, having been dressed by some porn stars, watching porn stars flirt with any penis that moved.

Luckily Roxy hadn't been giving out the right vibes and so most guys had let her be. But Chibs sidled up beside her as she surveyed the debauchery in the room. Half naked porn stars littered the room with Sons in various stages of hooking up while Roxy twirled her empty shot glass in her hand as she watched Harley pick up a particularly good looking patch from Nevada.

"Ah love, Juicy boy'll be here end of the month. Then you'll be free for all a' this."

"I know Chibs. Just can't help but miss him at shit like this."

Chibs looked out to the crowd with her. "Aye, I know." He squeezed her shoulder. "But that don't mean we can't have a bit of fun in the meantime!"


	47. Chapter 47

**A/N: thanks as always, I'm really enjoying writing this so I'm glad you're enjoying reading it. Keep giving me pointers!**

The excitement and apprehension since the bachelor/bachelorette party had been palpable. The last few days waiting for the guys to be released was intense and seemed to drag on for decades.

Roxy had scrubbed Juice's house top to bottom, wanting it to be perfect for his return. She would have gone all out and got him a nice dinner for his return but they had the wedding that night. So in all likelihood they wouldn't get much time together. But anything would be enough.

Roxy watched as Rat and VLin carefully loaded the bikes on to the truck under Miles' watchful eye.

Roxy paid particular attention as they loaded Juice's Dyna into the truck, another couple hours and it would be back with its rider.

"Excited baby?" Gemma slung an arm around her daughter's shoulder.

"You know it." She bumped her hip against her mother's.

xxx xxx

The feel of the wind in his hair and the vibrations of his bike beneath him were the most exhilarating thing he had experienced. 14 months being cooped up in that hell hole had really messed with Juice's head but the ride back to Charming, to his girl, to his family, was already reversing some of that damage. Aside from when he had greet Kozik he had been happy to be out. He hadn't seen or spoken to Kozik since the day he told him about sleeping with Roxy so all Juice had wanted to do was punch him in the face. But technically he'd done nothing wrong; Roxy had broken up with Juice and even if she hadn't the club had the prison clause so really he couldn't get shitty with Kozik either way. So instead of punching him Juice have him a bro hug.

All this was forgotten, however, as they pulled onto Main Street and they were blocked by the sheriff's vehicles. As they pulled to a stop the tall and dark sheriff walked over. This was all they needed, a delay to their homecoming.

Juice didn't pay much attention as Roosevelt threatened them. He just wanted to pull into that lot and his girl's waiting arms.

xxx xxx

The lot had filled up since this morning and was abuzz with excitement. Roxy was sitting on the picnic bench watching Tara and Piney chatting. Roxy still couldn't spend much time with Tara and Thomas. She was finding it really hard still to come to terms with everything and spending too much time around Tara and Thomas was painful.

Eventually they could hear the roar of bikes getting closer and Roxy made her way over to Gemma, Tara, and Lyla. Gemma pulled them all in for a hug as they waited for the bikes to pull in.

The crowd surged forward as the bikes pulled into the lot and came to a stop in front of the clubhouse. Everyone started cheering and whooping as the guys dismounted.

The crow eaters and sweet butts made their way forwards to welcome home the guys without Old Ladies. A short blonde was making her way over to Juice but he found Roxy and strode purposefully towards her. Roxy met him halfway and jumped onto him, wrapping her legs round his waist and pulled him into a kiss.

"God I love you!" Roxy kissed him once again before jumping down.

Juice wasn't quite ready to let her go yet so he left an arm around her waist as they made their way over to the rest of the guys. "Love you too baby."

"Enjoy your ride back?" She asked as they made their way to the group.

"Yeah." He leaned in to whisper in her ear. "But there's something else I'll enjoy riding later."

She slapped his stomach. "Whatever, cheese ball."

They reached the others and Roxy made her rounds, saying hi to everyone.

"Tig! I've missed you!" She gave Tig the biggest hug. She missed him more than her actual dad, but that wasn't really a surprise given he was the one there for her growing up.

"You too doll!" He squeezed her a little harder and stroked his hand on the back of her head before pulling back enough to look in her eyes. "I'm so sorry baby."

Roxy could see the sympathy in his bright blue eyes. She pulled in for another hug again. Aside from a couple of phone calls this was the first time she had really had contact with Tig the whole time they were away.

"Thanks Tiggy."

He patted her on the butt to move her along. Clay was finally free from his reunion with Gemma so Roxy went over to give him a hug and hello.

"Missed ya daddy." She pecked him on the cheek. A far more formal greeting than the one she gave Tig.

"Better have! Caused us a lotta trouble in there." Roxy met his eyes, but he seemed to be joking. "Glad you're ok now though." He gave her a squeeze before moving past to get to the rest of the guys.

Roxy was stunned at her father's kindness, although the fact he thought she was magically ok now was baffling.

Juice wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and nuzzled her neck. Roxy rubbed his hands as he kissed the side of her neck, right under her ear. She could feel him subtly rubbing against her and pushed her ass back into him before turning around in his arms.

She reached her lips up to kiss his jaw before stopping to whisper in his ear. "Better calm down cowboy, you got church."

Juice sighed and rested his forehead on hers. "I know. Just excited to be back home."

"Well you best go in there and wrap this shit up so we can go home. I want a ride on your bike." She winked at him and followed the group as they moved inside.

xxx xxx

Of course the reunion had been short lived. Roxy had joined the other girls at the bar for drinks while the guys sorted things out in church. What they didn't realise was there were things to handle before the wedding tonight.

Juice came out and apologetically asked Roxy to go home and wait for him. She dutifully did as he asked. She would have had a dinner for him or something but they had to be at the reservation later for the wedding so there was no point given the wedding started at 5.

Roxy just hung around the house in her blue sundress, waiting for Juice. After what had seemed like a lifetime she finally heard the roar of his bike pulling into the drive. About time. They only had a little over an hour and a half till they had to leave for the wedding.

She got up and jogged over to open the door for him. As soon as he was inside his lips were on her, frantic and wanting.

After a few heated moments Roxy pulled away. "Baby slow down. We got all the time in the world now." She led him seductively to the sofa.

"I know, but it's been so fucking long."

"Hey we're lucky we got that day in the visitation room." She pushed him to sit on the sofa before reaching down and pulling her dress over her head. "I've thought about that day a lot."

Juice's eyes widened as he took her in. The black lacy bra and panty set she had on perfectly highlighted the tattoo he loved so much as it cupped under her breasts. He'd also spent a lot of time thinking about their make up 'visit'.

"I did too. But it was fucking difficult with your brother there all the time."

Roxy chuckled as she sank to her knees in front of him.

"He's not here now though." She slowly pushed her hands up the inside of his legs to open them up so she could sit inside.

When her hands reached the top of his jeans she slid open his heavy buckle and slowly unzipped his pants to pull them down.

Eventually Roxy got to her destination and pulled him out. She started pumping him with her hands before leaning forward to take him in her mouth.

Juice's breath was hard as he tried to speak. "Babe this ain't gunna last long, you might wanna skip this part."

Roxy pulled back slightly so she could talk, but he could feel her lips brush against him as she spoke. "I don't mind baby. I want to make you feel good. You deserve it." She brushed her tongue across his tip. "It's been such a long time." She dragged out the sentence as she let her hands brush up and down.

Juice let out an involuntary groan.

"Like I said. Plenty of time for more later."

Like Juice said, he didn't last very long, but it didn't bother Roxy, turning him on like that and bringing him to the edge was such a turn on for her. At least she knew now that he would last a bit longer when they did make it to the bedroom.

When Juice had finished panting he pushed his jeans off and ripped his shirt over his head. Getting to his feet he pulled Roxy along with him towards the bedroom.

"We got about an hour till we gotta go, so let's get a move on baby." He slapped her ass playfully as he pulled her towards their bedroom.

xxx xxx

Roxy wished she could have laid in bed with Juice for the rest of the night but unfortunately they had to hustle to get down to the reservation.

Roxy had managed to pull herself together in record time. She wore a midnight blue fitted dress with a lace overlay. She paired it with silver pumps and curled and pinned her hair. The dress did make it hard to ride bitch on Juice's bike. But they made it work.

When they arrived at the reservation everyone was milling around and catching up with those who had been inside. Juice was quickly caught up by Chibs and a couple of the Indian Hills guys who were down. He shot her a grin as she stood and chatted with Harley who was currently eyeing up potential suitors for the night.

"Mmmm some of those Nevada boys are fiiiiine."

Roxy laughed at Harley's outrageous attitude. She was so much like her mum, which made Roxy miss Luann, she would have been a riot tonight and probably would have been a massive help during the loss of her baby. She decided to go put some flowers on her grave tomorrow.

Just before the ceremony began Juice came over and ushered Roxy over to the seats that SAMCRO had reserved for them. The other guests and charters filled the remaining seats and stood around the group.

The ceremony was beautiful, well as 'beautiful' as a wedding ceremony of a biker and a porn star could be. Juice had his arm round Roxy's shoulder and she had her hand on his thigh, squeezing it intermittently and stealing glances every now and then.

Gemma had been watching them carefully from the corner of her eye, happy with her daughter. She was worried for a while that losing the baby would have pushed her away again. She had already lost her once before, splitting their family away. But seeing her here, happy with Juice, she knew she wasn't going anywhere and her family would stay together.

xxx xxx

"Baby I don't mind if you drink. You deserve a good time." Juice encouraged Roxy as she sat on his lap at one of the tables.

The reception had been going on for a while now and Harley had stolen Roxy for a short time. When she returned to Juice she was already half way gone. Harley needed some liquid lubrication to help her flirt her way around the party and Roxy was only happy to assist.

"So do you Juicy." She whispered not so subtly in his ear.

Jax rolled his eyes at his sister's antics as Tig, Bobby, and Chibs laughed.

"Got your hands full tonight Juicy boy!" Chibs clapped a hand on the table.

Roxy slid her hand down his chest towards his crotch and cupped him quite ferociously. "It's me who's got her hands full." She hiccuped before giggling with glee.

This just caused Tig, Bobby, and Chibs to howl with laughter as Juice squirmed and tried to pry her hand off.

"That's my cue to move to another table." Jax abruptly stood and made to walk away.

"Don't be such a party pooper Jax. I've seen you in way worse positions than this." Roxy laughed again.

"Difference is sis those positions didn't involve me chopping your man's dick off." Jax chuckled and stalked off to find Tara.

"Somebody's grumpy tonight." She stuck her tongue out at Jax.

Chibs sat up. "And that's our cue to leave lads." He signalled to Bobby and Juice, who turned to see Happy waiting at the edge of the party.

Juice squeezed Roxy before helping her stand up. "I gotta go for a bit baby."

Roxy pouted. "Why?"

"Club shit."

"Of course." She rolled her eyes before standing to give him a kiss. "How long?"

"Not too long hopefully. I'll be back before the last dance."

"Ok. Be safe." Juice nodded, placed one last kiss on her forehead and left with the others.

Jax joined them at the truck for some final instructions. Juice was jealous he got to stay with his girl while Juice was sent out on a murder mission. He caught one last look at Roxy shimmying on the dance floor with Harley before turning back to Jax. "Drink heavily for us."

Jax winked and rolled the shutter door down.

xxx xxx

Juice was stunned as they drove back to the reservation after dumping the bodies at the new Charming Heights development.

This was the first time he'd outright murdered someone and it was some heavy shit. It was a burden he hadn't felt before and he wasn't sure he liked it. Tonight was about more than just retaliation and vengeance. That he could rationalise. No, tonight was more about greed and power plays. Something he wasn't used to and didn't like.

All he wanted to do now was get back to Roxy and find some calm. The first night back in his own bed was sounding better and better and the thought of finally snuggling up to Roxy for the first time in over a year eased that burden slightly.

xxx xxx

Roxy was well and truly wasted by now. Jax, Clay, and some of the others had disappeared and come back by now and things were starting to wrap up.

Harley and Roxy had been dancing but Harley had ended up leaving with the Indian Hills member she'd eyed earlier, leaving Roxy with no one to dance with.

Roxy found herself at the bar, tipping back another shot and staring longingly at all the couples on the floor. Tara and Jax had caught her attention and she felt the surge of jealousy rise in her chest. Not only did Tara have the baby Roxy should also have but she even got to dance with her man at the wedding while Roxy sat around like a lump. She was being petty and spiteful, none of this was Tara's fault, but in her drunken state that didn't matter.

As she tipped back another shot she felt leather brush against her arm. Turning around she expected Juice, but her face fell when she realised it was just Kozik.

"What's got you so glum soldier?" He propped himself on the bar next to her and followed her gaze back to Jax and Tara.

"Just lonely. As always." She slumped her shoulders.

After their drunken night together Roxy had avoided Kozik until she knew things with her and Juice were on the right track again. Then they'd started talking again. Everything between them was purely platonic. There were absolutely no romantic feelings whatsoever. Kozik was protective over her seeing as he'd spent so much time escorting her over the last year and he'd seen everything she'd gone through. He also still harboured some guilt for first of all not being able to stop the accident as he escorted her to the prison the day she lost the baby, but also for sleeping with her and causing that grief between her and Juice. He'd never have gone there, broken up or not, prison clause or not, if he hadn't been out his mind drunk.

He hated seeing Roxy so lonely. She'd been this way since she lost the baby. Perhaps before too. She struggled so much supporting everyone while the guys were in jail and he knew she spent a lot of emotional energy supporting Juice with little in return. She didn't like to trouble him with her emotions when she knew he had a fine control over his.

"Alright folks this is the last dance for the evening." The band announced to the remaining guests.

Roxy's shoulders slumped. She hadn't had one dance with Juice tonight and he'd promised he'd be back in time for the last dance. She felt the tears brim up slightly in her eyes and quickly wiped them away, not wanting to alert Kozik to her sadness.

Seeing her now, lonely once again as Juice was on club business, he offered her a dance.

"Can't have you missing out on the last dance sweetheart. Let's do this." He jumped up and offered her his hand as the band struck up with Eric Clapton's 'You Look Wonderful Tonight'.

Roxy smiled and wiped the remaining tears out of her eyes, careful not to smudge her makeup, and accepted his hand.

The pair struck up a slow rocking, Kozik's left hand respectably placed on the side of her waist while she placed hers on his shoulder. Their other hands clasped together at the side.

Kozik winked at the sweet butt waiting for him at the bar as he kept swaying with Roxy before twirling her around. Roxy placed her head on his chest and closed her eyes as they kept swaying to the slow and magical guitar. She let another tear escape as she wished Juice would have been here for this.

That's when she heard his voice at the side of the dance floor as he approached. She smiled at him at first, thinking he was going to take her hand and cut in for the last verse of the song but her smile cracked when he just used his outstretched hand to yank her off Kozik and into him.

"Hey what the fuck dude?" Kozik was on the defensive immediately. "You ok Rox?" He asked, she'd stumbled in her heels as Juice roughly pulled her off Kozik.

"Don't worry about her man. Worry about you. What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Juice squared up to Kozik as he pushed Roxy behind him.

"Keeping her company dude. Just having a dance so she didn't miss out." Kozik ground out, shaping up to Juice in return.

"Oh yeah? Like you kept her company while I was in county?" Juice was glaring right at Kozik, the adrenaline from tonight's events combined with the guilt of that shooting and the jealousy and hurt of seeing Roxy with Kozik made for a dangerous combination.

Luckily Tig wasn't far away and he stood in between them. "Hey take it easy Juicy. He knows she's yours, it was totally innocent." But Juice and Kozik didn't break their eye contact. "C'mon man, take the girl home. She was waiting for you."

Juice didn't say anything for a moment, then snorted derisively. "Yeah, 'waiting'." He turned to Roxy. "We're going." He spat, before turning back and bumping his shoulder into Kozik as he passed him.

Roxy hesitated a moment, she hadn't seen Juice this pissed off before and she was slightly scared to go home with him. She knew he wouldn't really hurt her but she didn't want to hedge her bets.

"Sorry guys." She gave an embarrassed smile to Kozik and Tig.

"Ain't you who should be sorry." Kozik glared after Juice who was turning around.

"Now Roxy!" He bellowed.

Tig gave her a comforting smile and pushed her after Juice who was waiting impatiently. As she approached him he tried to put his arm around her shoulder as a display of ownership to Kozik and anyone else who dared to push up on her, but Roxy shrugged it off.

"Don't touch me asshole." She grumbled and barged past him. Juice clenched his fists at his side and took a deep breath but continued to follow her to his bike.


	48. Chapter 48

**A/N: glad you're enjoying still. I'm hoping my Juice isn't too OOC, let me know.**

They'd barely made it through the door before Juice exploded.

"What the fuck was that Roxy?" He boomed as he turned to her.

"What was what, Juice? Huh? Me dancing with a friend because I was a loner? Or you being a gigantic asshole for no apparent reason?" Roxy's buzz had well and truly worn off and now she was just drunk and pissed. A lethal combination for a child of Gemma Teller-Morrow.

"You know he's not just a friend." He growled as he crowded her against the wall in his living room. "I come back to find you dancing all up on some other member, then you disrespect me in front of everyone, how do you think that makes me feel? Makes me look?" His eyes were boring into hers and all she could see was a mixture of anger and panic. What would have caused that expression she didn't know but she figured all this had something to do with the club business he had been on.

But right now she didn't care. She was drunk, angry, upset, and embarrassed. "How do you think I feel? I didn't want to be alone. You promised me you'd be back by the last dance. Instead I was sat at the bar like a loner watching my brother and Tara and all the other couples dance." The tears started flowing freely now. The drunken floodgates had opened and Roxy couldn't stop the flow of feelings she usually hid so well. "How come they get that Juice?" She sobbed. Juice felt his anger dissipating. He had not expected this reaction at all. "How come they get to be happy and dance and have everything? How come they get to have their baby and their family and all I get is stood up at the bar?"

Juice felt like a real asshole now. All this time he'd never really asked Roxy how she was coping. Once they'd made up at county he kind of just assumed everything was cool. He arranged the flowers for her on the due date because he thought it was a sweet gesture and would be a tough day but he hadn't really followed up on it, so much other stuff had been going on for him inside.

Juice backed down and pulled Roxy into him for a hug, attempting to shush her and comfort her, but she pushed him away.

"No, you don't get to be mad at me then hug it all better." She slurred slightly, giving away her drunken state.

"Babe, I'm so sorry I wasn't thinking, it's just been a hectic night."

"Yeah, you weren't thinking. Kozik has been nothing but a friend to me. There are zero feelings or attraction there. We were so fucked up that night neither of us even remember it. He was just being nice to me tonight because I was moping all over the bar."

Juice pulled her in again. "I know that now, please just let me make it up to you?"

Roxy gave in and let him hug her and now all of the tears she had held in for all those months came tumbling out.

"Why did it have to happen?" Roxy's sobs were breaking Juice's heart. He'd never got to be there for her when it happened so he guessed this was his delayed reaction.

"I don't know baby. But it's gunna be ok."

"No. It's not." She sobbed. "We'll never have what they have." She sobbed some more. "Our little baby boy is gone but they have theirs."

Juice picked her up and carried her down the hall to their room and placed her carefully on the bed. He quickly kicked off his shoes and placed his kutte on the new chair in the corner before sliding into the bed and pulling her into his arms.

"Roxy, baby, we will have that one day. I promise you." He whispered to her and kissed her head. "I'll give you anything you want to make you happy. You'll have a baby. We'll have a family. No matter what. I promise."

He stroked her hair as she sobbed, a few of his own tears escaping as they finally had the chance to grieve together.

This was not how he expected his first night home to be, but the more she cried and the more he comforted her, he knew it was what they both needed.

xxx xxx

Juice started when he woke up, he wasn't used to sharing a bed with another person and at first he was confused as to where he was. Then he realised he was safe at home in bed with Roxy.

He relished the peace and quiet for a few moments then the memories from last night sunk in. Roxy had cried herself to sleep in his arms, he'd never admit it to anyone but he shed a few tears as he fell asleep too.

He looked down at Roxy who was still asleep in his arms, her makeup was smudged slightly from the crying and her eyes were puffy, but she was still the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen.

He pressed a light kiss to her forehead before gently pulling his arm out from under her, he really had to take a piss and he figured he could make a start on breakfast.

Roxy mumbled in her sleep but rolled over and hugged a pillow instead as Juice silently made his way to the bathroom.

He had a shower while he was in there and was surprised when he came out to find Roxy still fast asleep. She must be really hungover.

As he wandered out to the kitchen he looked around his house and appreciated the little touches of Roxy. She hadn't done or moved anything major, she knew how much he'd freak out, but she had little touches which made sure you could tell she lived there.

Juice turned on the tv as set about making breakfast. His heart swelled when he noticed the fresh fruit Roxy had bought along with the protein pancake mix that was in the pantry. She knew exactly what to get him.

After he'd finished he sat down to eat but stopped when he saw the news bulletin about the dead Russians.

Roxy stumbled through then, she'd had a shower and thrown on one of his t-shirts. She wanted to come out and have a chat to him about last night, apologise for her hysterical outburst. Plus she knew she should have never danced with Kozik, as much as they were friends and she should be able to she knew what it looked like for a member's Old Lady to do that. But when she entered the kitchen Juice was ashen faced and staring at the tv. Roxy stopped to listen to the broadcast about the Russian bodies and the discovery of another, more decomposed, Mexican body. That's when Roxy's heart dropped, she needed to talk to Opie.

Juice turned and saw the look on her face. "Morning baby." He tried to smile but it didn't come off confidently.

"You involved in that?" Roxy snapped out of it, Juice couldn't find out about her and Opie's mess.

"Yeah. That's where I was last night." He looked back down at his plate.

"Pretty brutal." She sat next to him after retrieving a couple of pancakes from the oven and scooping some chopped up bananas onto them.

Juice hummed noncommittally and Roxy glanced at his stony face. "You alright?"

"I guess so. Was uh just a new experience for me."

"Killing someone?" Roxy said before chewing another bite.

"Yup. Don't really know what to think about it all."

"Was it deserved?"

"Kinda... Not really... I don't know Roxy. This was more than just retaliation. And I dunno if I can get right with that. These guys had no idea what was coming."

Roxy got up and moved over to stand behind him and rub his shoulders. "I know babe. Sometimes you gotta do shit like this as part of the club. And I know it sucks but these guys were gangstas, Russian outlaws. It's not like they were innocent in all this."

Juice let her words sink in. She was right, still felt shitty to actually kill someone and know it was him that did it.

Roxy took his silence as a cue to move on. She cleared her throat and patted his shoulders before sitting back in the seat next to him and picking at her pancakes. "Listen, I'm sorry about last night babe."

Juice looked up at her then. "What are you sorry for. I was the one going crazy."

"I should never have danced with Kozik. I know what that would look like."

Juice nodded. "Yeah it looks like I can't keep my Old Lady." He sighed. "But hey I'm just as sorry for blowing up at you. I didn't know how much you were still going through."

"Guess I didn't either." She grabbed his hand to get him to look at her. "And I'll work on all this Old Lady shit. It's just a big adjustment is all and Kozik really is a friend."

"I know. But now I'm out you need to keep your distance."

"Fair enough." Juice was pretty laid back in terms of club rules and Old Lasdy etiquette so she had to give him this. She knew he was more worried about how he looked to the others in the club than Roxy actually flirting with Kozik. She knew Juice felt like he was perpetually trying to prove himself, despite the fact he was patched in.

xxx xxx

The pair had spent the morning lazing around at home and making up for lost time. When it came time for Juice to head down to the clubhouse for church he was disappointed. He would much rather spend the rest of the day in bed with her, however he settled for spending the day with her at the clubhouse, business allowing.

Thankfully Kozik wasn't there this morning which meant he didn't have to talk about last night. To be honest he would still take him to the ring if he could but there was technically no foul for the stuff that happened while he was in prison. Last night, however, was shaky ground. He knew how it would look, dancing with Roxy, but he did it anyway.

However for now he had to focus on the meeting. Juice couldn't help but shake his head at this cartel deal. He knew what cartels were like, similar to the mob he worked for in New York, cartels were viscous and unforgiving. If you crossed them you and everyone you loved were fucked. He knew he couldn't get behind this.

As soon as Jax voiced his agreement with Clay's plan and subsequently started pulling wads of cash out the bag he knew some of the others would be tempted. He must admit that kinda cash could come in useful.

Juice wanted to give Roxy the happiness she deserved, whatever that took. He knew IVF and surrogacy and shit like that cost lots of money so the plus side of this would be being able to give Roxy what she wanted and provide that happiness for her. The downside was if they fucked around the cartel then they ran the risk of Roxy getting hurt as collateral. Luckily Clay had given them some time to mull it over.

Everyone had their jobs for the day, and Juice was tasked with doing a shift in the garage with Tig. He went out to the bar to see what Roxy was up to, when he found her she was on the phone.

"Shit Harley. Ok. Want me to come? Ok. Love you sister." Roxy hung up and turned to an expectant Juice.

"What's wrong?" He looked worried.

"Uhm its Otto. He's in the infirmary. Apparently he tried to kill himself yesterday. Slit his wrists." Roxy accepted Juice's hug. "I gotta tell Clay. Harley's on her way up there."

Clay and Bobby were talking in the Chapel so Roxy loitered at the door till they finished. Bobby opened the door and jumped a little when he realised how close she was to the door.

"What's wrong Rox?"

"It's Otto, Harley just called. He's in the infirmary, he slit his wrists yesterday." She looked to Clay who wasn't at all surprised.

"Club shit baby. Just don't worry about it." Clay patted her shoulder as he walked past, completely unphased one of his supposed best friends had gone to such drastic measures.

Roxy was disappointed in his lack of caring and went back over to the bar. Juice had gone to get his TM shirt from his dorm which left just Tig hanging around.

"How'd you go last night doll?" He wrapped an arm round her shoulder.

"Yeah ok. We talked about some stuff. I was pretty upset about some other things and I know I shouldn't have danced with Kozik."

Tig nodded. "I know you don't like some of this club shit baby, but that's the way it is round here. He's gotta have some sort of standing and shit like that looks bad on him."

Roxy hated that Tig was right. This is why she wanted nothing to do with being an Old Lady, it was so old fashioned. But here she was, and she wasn't leaving any time soon.

xxx xxx

Roxy was busy in the office today seeing as Gemma was busy with the boys. Juice had picked up a shift in the garage so she was peeking through the window to watch him work every now and again. It was weird to have him so close now after such a long time apart.

Juice found a spare minute to sneak into the office, Roxy had been rifling through the filing cabinet searching for a long lost receipt, so she didn't notice anyone in the office until she felt Juice's hands round her hips. She jumped and stood upright her back pressed against his stomach.

"Baby what are you doing?"

"Trying to make up for last night." He whispered in her ear and he lowered his hand down her front towards her jean buttons.

"You already did that this morning."

He nuzzled her neck and unbuttoned her pants, sliding them open just enough to slip his hand inside her panties.

"Mmm. Not enough yet."

Roxy didn't complain she just parted her legs slightly and lent back into him. She let out a moan as Juice began to kiss her neck and continued his ministrations inside her pants.

Then they heard Clay and Tig shouting for the guys to get to the clubhouse. Roxy quickly shoved Juice off and buttoned up her pants before following him out the office, frustrated now at the lack of release. Juice just gave her a shit eating grin before turning back around to the clubhouse.

When she realised it was club business she stopped following and sat on one of the picnic benches for a smoke instead.

A few minutes later the guys were rushing out, hoodies on, towards their bikes.

Roxy followed them as Gemma caught up towards the group as well. They soon surmised that Jax and Opie were in some kind of trouble. Roxy looked up at Juice for reassurance, he tried his best to give her a smile before pressing a kiss to her head. Just as he was about to mount his bike they heard sirens entering the lot.

"Bad timing." Bobby sighed.

"How do you wanna play this?" Tig looked to Clay.

"This guys really starting to piss me off." Clay got up off his bike and chatted to Gemma.

Roxy hugged into Juice's side as they waited. Apparently Roosevelt wanted to talk about last night but then some fire engines arrived.

"Do you smell smoke?" Roosevelt pointed to the clubhouse.

Roosevelt lead everyone inside and Roxy did not like where this was going especially with Jax and Opie in trouble somewhere.

"Alright you made your point now it's time for you and the campfire girls to get out." Clay attempted to wrap up the situation.

"There's no brothers on your wall. What's up with that?" He gestured to the wall of mug shots.

"There's no brothers on the wall that's what's up." Piney stepped in.

"Hmmm do you smell smoke?" He moved over to the mug shot wall and placed his hand over it. "Could be electrical." He grabbed an axe off one of the firemen and the guys watched on in horror as he brought the axe down onto the wall.

The guys let out yells of complaint, but they couldn't delay this as they were on a time crunch to get Jax and Opie. Juice watched as Roosevelt drove the axe through one of his mug shots before trashing the rest and making his way to the Chapel.

Roxy grabbed Juice's arm and pulled on Tig's shirt as Roosevelt powered the axe into the Redwood table.

By the time Roosevelt and the fire brigade had finished the clubhouse was trashed and the guys had to bolt to find Jax and Opie, if they weren't too late. Juice gave Roxy a brief kiss and promised to be safe before chasing after the others.

Gemma and Roxy sat down at the bar and pulled out their cigarettes while they surveyed the damage. This was going to take a lot of cleaning.

"So I heard Juice and Kozik got into it last night over you?" Gemma raised an eyebrow at her daughter.

"Wasn't that bad. He was just shitty I was dancing with Kozik."

"Baby you know you can't do shit like that to him. Sends out the wrong message to the other boys. If he don't own his pussy gives the others ideas and there were boys from loads of other charters there last night."

"Yeah I know that Ma. Just dealing with some shit still and wasn't thinking."

"Baby you'll get your family."

"I know. It's just hard watching Tara and Jax knowing that shoulda been Juice and I as well."

Gemma squeezed Roxy's leg in comfort before pouring them both a drink.

xxx xxx

A very relieved Jax and Opie arrived back at the clubhouse straight to their girls' arms.

Juice made his way to Roxy and wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed the side of her face. Roxy smiled and placed her hands over his. He pushed her forward to follow the others into the clubhouse. Everyone waded through the rubbish and tried to figure out where to begin. The mood was pretty low, but then Tara pulled out her engagement ring and announced their latest news to the club.

Roxy was happy for them, and congratulated them along with everyone else. But at the same time it brought up that twang of jealousy again. Just another point in them solidifying the family they had, that Gemma fawned over. She was still doubting she would ever have that and with each step further her brother got she felt like she was one step further away.


	49. Chapter 49

Juice watched Roxy as she congratulated her brother. He knew she was still pining for the family they could have started. He didn't understand why she didn't think they could still have it. But he did know he'd need to do something soon to prove to her they were on the right track.

He didn't know if he was ready to propose yet but he did know he was ready for her getting his crow.

Tig saw Juice standing by the bar as Roxy chatted with her mum.

"Y'know I think you two would do alright."

Juice looked at him confused. "Huh?"

"Marriage. Not many make it in this life. But I know you two would."

Juice fiddled with his beer before looking back at Tig. "S'pose. Dunno if we are there yet. But gunna ask her to get my crow."

"Yeah? Y'know that's as good as marriage."

"I know. But it seems different somehow."

Tig rolled his eyes. Marriage was a lot harder to get out of than a crow, what was Juice playing at if he didn't think he could marry her? To Juice it wasn't that, marriage was just intimidating to a guy like him. He didn't have any married role models so to him it was something alien, unobtainable, whereas the MC equivalent of marriage was simpler.

"Well whatever it is you do just make sure she's happy. She needs some cheering up right now. To know she's worth something. Yeah?" Tig voiced his concerns.

Juice looked him straight in the eye. "I've already promised her the world man." He turned to look back to Roxy. "And I'm gunna deliver."

xxx xxx

The couple eventually made their way home when they thought it was polite to leave. Some of the others were still celebrating at the wrecked clubhouse but Roxy wasn't really in the mood to see everyone fawning over Jax and Tara. She was already starting to feel like she was competing with Tara for her mother's affections, this was just making it worse.

Juice poured Roxy some wine and grabbed himself a beer before he joined her on the sofa. She was cruising the channels searching for something to watch when some goofy Adam Sandler comedy came on, he didn't really pay attention.

Passing Roxy her wine he sat beside her on the sofa and let her sling her legs over his lap. Juice draped his free hand over the back of the sofa and played with her hair as she watched the film.

Roxy eyed him every now and again, he was far too quiet, tense, and he kept sneaking glances at her.

"What is it Juice?"

After a while he decided to speak up. "So I know I kinda asked you at visitation that time, but would you still consider getting my crow?"

Roxy looked at him wide eyed. "Of course I would." She nudged him with her elbow before turning to face him some more. "How 'bout you? Still wanna get a tatt for me? You're still hot property down at the clubhouse and I'm starting to consider getting a branding iron." She winked and he chuckled.

"Yeah. Remember what you said that day in visitation? Coz I'll do it."

"Hmm I do like the sound of that." She placed her wine glass down and moved to straddle his lap. "You're happy to have my name on your neck?"

"Of course. Thought about getting a neck tatt before."

"Good. Coz I think they're pretty damn sexy." Roxy trailed kisses from his lips down his jaw to his neck before leaning back and running her nails down his chest toward his pants.

Juice looked her over hungrily and when her nails tickled over his abs he just had to have her. Leaning forward he crashed his lips to her and pulled her back against him. He trailed his lips, nipping and sucking, to her chest. He pulled her singlet down to reveal her breasts and left a bit of a mark where he wanted his crow. It turned him on even more imagining it there, just for him. Not even his own mother had wanted to tie herself to him, she abandoned him first chance she got so for Roxy to make such a definite decision to brand herself as his and tie herself to him forever made his heart swell. And his dick twitch. That feeling brought him out of his thoughts and back to his current, and very hot, reality.

Roxy's hips rolled against his and she could feel him through his jeans, standing up she pulled off her jeans and panties, kicking them out the way. In the mean time Juice had pulled his jeans and boxers down enough so he could pull Roxy back over him.

Within seconds he had her back on his lap and dangerously close to where he wanted to be. Crashing his lips back on to hers he let his hands roam her body, rubbing and caressing the exact spots he knew to get her revved up.

"You sure you want that brand baby?" He asked huskily.

"You have no idea how much it turns me on to think about it." She kissed him again. "Weird considering how opposed I was to the Old Lady stuff." She giggled, slightly off task. "But you know I'm yours, about time everyone else knew it too."

Juice couldn't help it, her words sent him over the edge and he plunged into her.

"Oh fuck baby." He let her control the rhythm as she gyrated on top of him. "You feel so fucking good baby."

Roxy moaned and dragged her nails down his chest as he hit just the right spot. It sounded cliche but none of the guys she'd been with filled her quite like he did. Her head fell forward to his shoulders as she neared her climax and Juice had to take a bit more control, grabbing her hips so he could thrust up into her. He could tell she was close so he did what he could to push her over the edge as he was dangerously close to losing his.

"Come on baby. Come for me." He growled in her ear.

A few seconds later she did grasping the back of his neck as she did so. Juice followed shortly after and it took a while for the stuttering feeling to stop.

"Safe to say we both like this idea then?" He panted as he tried to catch his breath.

"For sure Juicy." Roxy rolled over to her original seat. "Can't wait."

xxx xxx

Juice wanted Happy to do the tattoos but he was still at his Mum's with the guns that next morning when they went back to the clubhouse.

Roxy had her 9-5 job in the workshop office now. Although she was initially disappointed she was beginning to enjoy the less draining line of work. She still wanted to get back to counselling but until she had her head screwed on straight it wasn't fair for her to go back to it.

She noticed the guys leaving after a while, must be important club business. The only guys in the workshop today were their usual mechanics. Roxy had known Dog the longest, he'd been working for the garage since they opened so he was always happy to chat to Roxy and help her work the roster around the club guys.

So they were busy working on the new roster when Roxy got a call from Chibs.

"Hey Rox. Your boy is down at the station. Currently a guest of good Ol' Lieutenant Roosevelt. Might need you to go pick him up later."

"Fucks sake. What did you guys do?" She was annoyed, mainly, that they'd do something to violate their parole so soon after being released.

Chibs chuckled. "Nothing if you'd believe it. Got searched and picked up leaving Clear Passages for possession."

"He has a card!" She exclaimed.

"I know love. They'll release him soon enough. Just this guy showing us how big he thinks his dick is."

"Fine. I'll await the call."

Chibs said his goodbyes and hung up.

"Trouble?" Dog's gruff voice spoke up from beside her.

"Mmm just Mr. Roosevelt showing off. Might have to do a pick up from the station soon." She gave Dog an apologetic look.

"Don't stress. I got this covered."

xxx xxx

Juice couldn't believe how quickly his day turned to shit. Literally. He'd taken Chibs for a colonic down at Clear Passages. He was proud to show someone from the club his new business. He'd spent most of his morning building crates at the warehouse for transporting the guns so he was happy to be able to leave early for Clear Passages while the rest of the guys finished up.

Chibs has been super impressed with the place and actually appreciated the full cleanse. The guys had been ripping on him since they found out what Clear Passages did, aside from sell weed.

They were just about to leave when Chibs got a call so Juice had hung around waiting for him when the Sheriff's car pulled up, sirens and all.

Cane and Mendez searched them, found Juice's weed and took him downtown. He would have resisted the unfair arrest but he figured that would have made things worse.

The first thoughts going through his mind were about Roxy and him violating his parole and ending up back inside. Then he'd never be able to follow through and give her what she wanted. What she needs.

Now, however, he was ushered into Roosevelt's office to find out whatever it was they wanted.

"So what's going on?" Juice was pissed.

"I just want to have a conversation, that's all." Roosevelt came off cocky which out Juice on edge. What did he have on him?

"You can do that with my lawyer."

"Oh you don't need your lawyer." He chuckled. "I don't give a shit about the weed, man. Please, sit down." He motioned to the chair in front of his desk. Juice looked at it, sure it wasn't usually reserved for the criminals the sheriff talked to, but he gave a derisive chuckle and sat down.

"So why'd you pick me up?"

Roosevelt let out a breath and showed him a photo of a father and son. "This is me, and my father, fishing at Rockaway Beach. Huh? Now you grew up in Queens, right?"

Juice knew straight away he was talking shit so he chuckled. "Nobody fished at Rockaway. Not unless you wanted to fry up beer bottles and syringes. That ain't Queens. What's the game here man?"

Roosevelt knew he was caught out. "You ever see your father?"

This was dangerous territory now. "No."

"I can arrange that." Juice's heart plummeted and he could feel the familiar tingle of panic rising as he watched the sheriff open a folder. "Michael Howard Cole." He held the folder out to show Juice. It contained a photo of the man he knew to be his father along with Juice's criminal history report. "It's your daddy, Juan Carlos." Juice accepted the folder and let his eyes roam the pages. This was bad. Real bad. "By your silence I'm assuming that you already knew." Juice couldn't fathom why Roosevelt was showing him this.

"I knew who he was. I never met him." All traces of Juice's previously cocky demeanour were gone. He knew how bad this could be and he had to know what Roosevelt's end game was.

"Now I don't know if you can tell by this picture, but um... He's black. Like African black."

"Yeah. I picked that up."

"Yeah. I don't know. You tell me. What would the club do if they found out that you were black?"Juice knew it. Roosevelt knew he could use this against Juice. "Hm, you don't know? Let me break it down for you. Well first they pull your patch, then they make you scrape the ink, then, if you're lucky enough, you'll walk out alive. As far as SAMCRO is concerned, you never even existed." He chuckled. "So much for affirmative action. And any chance you had at trying for a family with your girl would be gone. Think she'd really chose you and being excommunicated over being with her family?"

Juice felt the bile rise at the back of his throat at the mention of Roxy leaving him. "You don't know dick about my club or my Old Lady."

"Yeah you right." Roosevelt raised his voice. "About dick, nothing. But Leroy?" He tapped the file. "Everything." He threw the weed that was confiscated back at him. "Enjoy your day." He sat down at his desk and shuffled some papers around.

Juice was confused and panicked. "So what happens now?"

"We go back home to our families." He looked calmly at Juice. "I'll stay in touch, brother."

Juice nodded and got up to leave.

His mind was reeling as made his way outside to call Roxy for a lift. What the hell did Roosevelt want? Why did he target him? Would Roxy actually leave him? He decided he needed to keep this to himself for a while. See where it led.

xxx xxx

Roxy was sitting in the picnic benches having a smoke with Piney. Well she smoked he watched. She'd picked up Juice and brought him back to the club for a vote. She was worried about him he'd seemed very off when she picked him up but he just assured her Roosevelt was just playing with them, trying to make the club's life difficult and went in for his vote.

Roxy watched as her dad pulled in and backed his bike into its spot. Her mum approached him and they shared what seemed to be a heated exchange that's when she saw her dad bailing her mum up against the railing behind the bikes.

Roxy threw her smoke on the ground and jumped up but Piney held her arm to stop her getting in the way, he knew the outcome of that wouldn't be pretty.

Roxy watched her dad let her mum go before storming over to the clubhouse. If looks could kill Piney would be dead five times over. Roxy ignored her dad, however, and made her way over to her stunned mother.

xxx xxx

This vote was going to be difficult enough as it was without the fact he was sat next to Kozik. They'd yet to talk since the issue at the wedding and Juice was not looking forward to it. Luckily, however, Clay arrived soon after Kozik sat down and the meeting began.

Things were tense in the chapel, Juice knew the vote would be close, some of his brothers had been swayed by the vast amounts of money they'd be raking in, while others like him were cautious of the trouble, both legal and outlaw, that could come with being associated with a cartel.

The vote got round to he and Kozik and he was rather surprised that Kozik, an ex junky, voted yay.

The vote passed, closely, and this was bad. The money would be good for giving Roxy what he wanted her to have. He needed to take care of his Old Lady and financially this deal would work, but physically? It was dangerous and there was always the risk that it could backfire on them and their families.

Roxy wasn't in the clubhouse as he exited the Chapel, he avoided Kozik who was trying to catch his eye and followed Bobby out to the lot and soon spotted Roxy standing over with Gemma at the office and strode purposefully over to them. He just wanted to take Roxy home, have dinner, and a good fuck. That'd help him work out this frustration. At least this way he could blame his weird mood on the vote than his talk with Roosevelt.

Roxy threw her smoke on the ground when she saw Juice walking towards them with that same concerned expression on his face. She gave her Ma a quick hug before walking over to meet him halfway at the bikes.

Gemma watched on affectionately as the couple shared a brief but loving kiss and Juice helped her onto his bike. Her scuffle with Clay this afternoon reminded her of their current standing, she hoped Roxy was having an easier time.

xxx xxx

Roxy ran her fingers along Juice's abs as they rode back to their house. He was definitely tense and she wasn't sure why. He'd already told her it wasn't anything to do with being picked up earlier so she figured it must just be whatever club business just went down.

When they got in she pushed him off to have a shower while she made dinner. When the steaks and veggies were done Juice arrived back in the kitchen, looking slightly better. He'd just slung on some track pants and freshly shaved so he definitely felt better now he was relaxed.

They are their dinner at the table and Juice felt almost a million times better as the first proper meal of his day filled him up. He was so lucky to have her here to look after him. He knew she looked after him more than herself sometimes and he was grateful. Then the panic from Roosevelt's earlier conversation set in. Would she really leave him? He couldn't risk it, but then if he didn't tell her he had no one to work through this with. He decided then it was best he talk to her about it. So he waited until they were snuggled up on the sofa with beer, wine for Roxy, and popcorn. Roxy had changed into her pyjama shorts and a singlet and tugged the blanket over them so they could watch a film together. Roxy scanned the hard drive for something funny, she could feel Juice's tense energy radiating off him so settled for something amusing and ended up picking the Big Bang Theory over a film. He'd missed a whole season while he was inside and the new season was just about to start and knowing how funny he found it she clicked it on.

She could feel him relax slightly under her as the opening credits played on the first episode but the tense energy was still there.

After a few more minutes she paused the episode and turned to him.

"Alright Ortiz spill. What's got you so worked up?"

Juice looked at her blankly for a second. "What?"

"I knew you said you're fine but you're clearly not. What's happened?"

Juice sighed and considered her for a minute. "Before I start, just promise me you're not gunna get up and go. Yeah?"

It was Roxy's turn to be confused now. "Uh of course. You know I'm not gunna leave. Now what happened?"

Juice let out a long sigh as he figured out where to begin. "Well you know how I got picked up by Roosevelt today?" He waited for her to nod. "It wasn't just a routine stop and search to piss off the club. He wanted to show me some Intel he found on me." Roxy braced herself for the reveal, she could see how much he was struggling with it. "You have to promise me you won't tell the club what I'm about to say next. Please?"

"Of course JC. I love you, I'd never go behind your back."

Juice seemed to accept this answer. "Well he's found my dad and knows he's black and you know what that means."

"Ah. The by laws."

"Yeah, so he tells me what the club would do to me; kick me out, strip everything, and either excommunicate me and you or kill me."

"He doesn't know that. And to be honest Juice those rules were made ages ago. And I don't think either my dad or JT would have been the ones to make em. I obviously never met Jax's dad but I've heard a lot about him and that's not what he started the club for. And Clay likes you, works with the Grim Bastards all the time, he doesn't have a problem with colour."

"You reckon?"

"Yeah. I mean you and Happy are both Hispanic anyways so what does it matter if your dad's a few shades darker." She gripped his shoulder. "You need to tell them though. That he's planning on perhaps blackmailing you." His eyes widened at the thought. "You gotta. This comes from Roosevelt with hints of you guys having had private chats? Well that will definitely not look good."

Juice groaned. "You're right. Haven't even met the dude and he's causing me all this trouble." He looked down at his lap.

Roxy leant in and kissed his cheek. "You miss him?"

"How can you miss someone you haven't met?"

Roxy looked down at her lap. "I miss the baby. I know that sounds stupid and it was only 18 weeks but I think it's more that you miss what could have been than the actual person. If that makes sense."

Juice considered for a moment. "Yeah I suppose it does." He was quiet for a moment. "When things were getting shit with my Ma I used to always wonder what he'd do if he were there. Maybe he'd take us away, look after us, hell even just take my sister and me out for dinner. But then I realised things would probably just be worse. I knew how I was conceived. Same way as my sister. My Ma and her junkie boyfriends were always the same. My dad was no different I'm sure." He cleared his throat. "So nah. I don't miss him. I do miss my chance at being an actual dad though."

Roxy nodded. "You still can be."

"Yeah. We'll figure it out." He nudged her under the blanket.

"Yeah we will. After you've talked to the club."

Juice groaned and let his head fall back and hit the wall behind the sofa.

"It'll be fine baby. I promise." She leant over closer so she could lay some kisses down his neck. "In the mean time, I'll help you relax..."


	50. Chapter 50

**A/N: just a short one this time as I set things up. Thanks for the reviews as always loyal readers!**

Juice woke up early the next morning. The fact he would have to speak to the club today was playing on his mind. Roxy had assured him they wouldn't care but it was a by law and they would be well within their rights to get rid of him. What if the rest of the club didn't like him or trust him and this has offered them the perfect out to get rid of him? Then he'd lose his entire family in one fell swoop. Juice literally had no one else. The only other person he had been remotely close to since leaving NY was an ex girlfriend who hung around with Bobby's ex wife. Although they ended amicably, and had hooked up the odd time since, he didn't think she'd ever take him in and she was the only non-club-affiliated person he really knew. His sister had nothing to do with him since she left home when he was 15. They'd seen each other once or twice since but they weren't really family.

The thoughts were swirling round in his head so he left Roxy in bed and quietly made his way to the living room. He pulled out his Xbox, headset, and controller and decided to get lost in a game. It was something he'd missed during his time in prison. Aside from Roxy, gaming helped calm his mind. The strategy and other reality helped him get out of his head for a little bit and reset.

By the time Roxy got up to get ready for work he realised 4 hours had passed. Roxy was due to open the garage at 8am so she was in a rush as usual.

"Hey babe. How long you been up for?" She said as she rushed to the kitchen to fill her thermos with coffee and grab a banana.

"Since like 3am." He lay back into the sofa.

"Stop worrying. You need to sleep."

"Yeah. Kinda hard not to worry when everything is hanging in the balance."

Roxy stopped what she was doing and made her way over to kneel in front of him. She grabbed his face in her hands and spoke softly but firmly. "Baby this will all be fine. You'll tell them, they'll get over it, Roosevelt loses his leverage, so he leaves you alone. It'll all be fine. I promise." She pecked him on the lips and moved to stand up but he grabbed her wrists.

"You don't know that." He said with a sad smile.

"I know everything Ortiz." She stood up. "Now get a couple hours sleep and come to the garage for a bit before church. Need me a mechanic fix!" She picked up her stuff and gave him another, longer, kiss before making her way out to her shit box car. After the accident the drunk driver didn't have insurance and Roxy's had lapsed and she couldn't get hers replaced so she just bought a junker from TM till she could afford a new one.

As it heaved itself to life Roxy's confident facade dropped. Juice was right, she didn't have any idea how the club would react. But she did have a gut feeling that her dad wouldn't be so heartless. Right?

xxx xxx

Juice eventually dragged himself to TM after lunch. They had church at 2 to arrange the stuff for the first cartel run, seeing as it had passed, so he would get an hour or so in while he waited around. He made his way to the office to let Roxy know he was here before he went to find Jax.

"Hey sleepyhead. Nice of you to finally show up." Roxy grinned from behind the computer.

"Hey you're the one who said to go to sleep." He leaned against the door frame and crossed his arms.

"Yeah for a couple hours, not all day." She smiled to show she didn't really care.

"I had to smoke a bit before I could sleep. Apparently it relaxed me too much."

"Apparently." She finished typing something on the computer.

"Your brother here? Needa go talk to him about table."

"Yeah in the clubhouse I think. He, too, is shirking garage duties." She raised an eyebrow at him as he chuckled and walked off to the clubhouse.

Juice's stomach was in knots as he made his way to the clubhouse and when he found Jax sitting with Chibs at a booth he just sucked it up and made his way over.

"Hey man, how you doing?" Jax was the first to notice his presence.

"Alright. Mind if I bring something up at the table today?"

Jax and Chibs shared a confused look. Juice had never brought something to the table before.

"Nah go ahead." He gestured to the seat in front of him and Juice sat down. "What is it?"

"Well, you guys know Roosevelt hauled me in yesterday on some bullshit search. Turns out he's found some shit about me, thinks he can use it to make me rat."

Chibs and Jax both shared surprised looks.

"What would that be Juicy Boy?" Chibs levelled Juice with a gaze he couldn't read and this worried him more.

Swallowing before he cleared his throat, Juice decided to explain. "My dad's black."

Jax looked at Juice, very confused. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"It's a bylaw. No black members." Chibs cut in.

"Yeah. So he said the club would patch me out and maybe even vote mayhem. I can't risk that, Roxy wants a family and shit and I can't risk losing the club family. I didn't know what to do. But will you kick me out for this?" Juice was slightly panicked now, looking between Jax and Chibs.

"What does it say on your papers?"

"What?"

"Your papers, boy, what box is ticked?"

"Uh Hispanic."

"Well there you go." He slapped the table. "Case solved. Half of us don't know who our dads are. And those laws are well outdated."

Jax nodded. "Shit I didn't even know that was one."

"Right. So what now?"

"Now we bring it to the table and explain to the guys that for some reason Roosevelt is interested in bringing us down from the inside."

xxx xxx

First order of business for church was organising their upcoming run for the cartel. Seeing as it was the first everything had to go to plan. No pressure.

When it came time for things to wrap up Jax quickly stepped in.

"So Juice came to me with something and he needs to tell the table."

Clay looked at Juice curiously before gesturing to him that he had the floor.

"Right, well, uh, Roosevelt had me hauled in yesterday, some bullshit stop and search, but really he just wanted me in to let me know he had something on me. I think he wants me to rat on the club for some reason. He didn't go into specifics yet just that if the club found out what he had on me I'd be lucky to just be patched out." Juice nervously jiggled his leg, but used every ounce of self control to ensure he kept his top half confident and at ease, not wanting to show any weakness. Jax and Chibs may say that it'd be ok but who knows what Clay would think.

"So what's he got on you?" Clay asked seriously.

"Well my father is black. And I knew that when I signed up. I never met him or saw him just I knew his name and that he was black. I know it's in the bylaws but when I was prospecting I never thought it would be an issue. He was never gunna be around, I'm Hispanic legally, but uh I know I misled the club and for that I'm sorry. It wasn't out of a want to disrespect the club or the rules."

"We'll discuss that in a minute. But for now has he asked you for anything? Did he mention any hints of club business?"

"No. Not yet. Just said he'd see me around."

Clay looked to Jax and nodded. "Ok give us a few minutes."

Juice nodded and stood to leave the chapel, trying not to trip over his own feet on the way out. Luckily when he entered into the bar he spotted Roxy sitting having a drink with Phil and VLin and made his way over to her. When she saw him leave without anyone else her heart sunk. She didn't think they'd need to discuss it, the worst thoughts started running through her mind. Juice motioned to sit in one of the booths so she joined him and rubbed her hand up and down his arm.

"What's happening? What did they say?"

Juice looked into her scared eyes, unsure of what to say to her now. "They're discussing it. Voting on whatever, I don't know."

"What is there to vote on? They can't cal mayhem for this?"

"I don't think so. But I did still lie to the club about my heritage."

Roxy sighed. "Well whatever the outcome I'll be here. It'll be fine."

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her in for a kiss. "I hope so babe."

VLin brought them both a drink and they sat sipping then while they had a smoke and waited on someone to come out. After a few minutes Miles opened the door and called for Juice to come back in.

Juice stood by the door but Clay motioned for him to sit back at his seat.

"So the club wasn't particularly happy that you lied about your heritage to get in, but we did agree that bylaw is outdated and irrelevant so we will get around to removing it. But you will need to be honest from here on out and although it says on your birth certificate 'hispanic' you did know otherwise and that was misleading. However Chibs, as your initial sponsor, vouched for your loyalty and assured us there had been no ill intent behind the lie so there won't be any repercussions. In the mean time just keep us in the loop if Roosevelt gives you any information on what they're fishing for. We might be able to use it to our advantage. Now everyone, you know what you gotta do before the run so get busy." Clay banged the gavel and with that Juice was free.

What he didn't know was that on the other side of town the Assistant US Attorney and his team had other plans...


	51. Chapter 51

**A/N: up to 60 reviews! Thanks guys. Good to hear what you think as always. Remember any suggestions are always welcome. I have an idea of where the story is going right to the end but any ideas of what you want to see included will help.**

Juice asked Happy on the way out of Chapel if he'd do their tattoos for them the following day. The run was the day after and with the relief of being in good standing with the club, Juice thought it was the perfect time and Roxy agreed.

So here they were sitting in the barroom of the clubhouse preparing for their tattoos.

Gemma watched on proudly as Roxy got a very similar crow to her in the same spot. Happy, however, tried his best to match the style in with her chandelier tattoo so they tied in together. When it came to the name however, there was an issue.

"I'm not having Juice tattooed on my chest forever."

Juice was exasperated by this point and Happy just watched on in amusement, getting a kick out of the couple's fighting. "But it's my name."

"Uh no it's not. Juan Carlos is your name, Juice-" she said in a mocking voice- "is your nickname. And as much as I totally love it I'm not having it on my chest."

Juice threw his hands up. "It's a club tatt baby. Hardly anyone in the club knows my real name, especially not guys from the other charters."

Jax, who had also been watching on in amusement, was starting to get tired of the conversation. "Why not Ortiz? Everyone knows that as much as Juice."

Roxy and Juice both looked at each other. "Makes sense." Juice responded and Roxy agreed, so finally Happy could finish the banner and name before adding some more finishing touches to the wings.

Roxy was so pleased with the intricate and delicate set of the bird, far more feminine than her mother's crow. The wings were spread out as if in mid flight and the feathers looked amazing. Under the crow, held by the feet, was a scroll with Ortiz in lovely cursive. Roxy was stunned that someone as gruff and rough as Happy could create such a delicate piece.

Now it was Juice's turn. They'd also back and forthed with her name. Juice wanted Roxanna but it was too long so Roxy insisted on Roxy. Juice didn't think it was proper enough but that's what they went with.

Juice's tattoo covered the left side of his neck and was done with intricate but bold enough script to read. Roxy loved it.

They covered up their tattoos to make sure they'd start healing properly but Roxy just wanted to peel his off and stare at it. Roxy totally understood why it was such a turn on for him to have his crow on her because seeing her name right there on his neck was super hot.

The hung around for a couple of drinks with the others before heading back to their house. Juice had to get up early to help with packing the truck so they needed to make the most of their time together. Juice wouldn't be gone more than a couple nights but still, it was long enough.

When they got in the house Roxy pushed Juice towards the bedroom and shut the door. When she ran her hands down his chest to undo his pants she could already feel his erection. Obviously the sexual tension had been brewing since they got their tattoos this afternoon.

Juice pawed at her singlet, trying to pull it off and Roxy hissed when he brushed against the new tattoo.

"Sorry baby." He mumbled against her neck. He eventually succeeded and carefully brushed his hands over her breasts.

After a few more minutes making out Roxy had enough, pushing him towards the bed she pulled his pants and boxers down then pushed him back so he lay on the bed.

She made short work of her own jeans before straddling him, clad in her blue, lacy bra and panty set. She leant down and started kissing him again, tongues sliding together as Juice let his hands roam her body. Roxy rolled her hips over him and the feeling of lace on him was too much. Eventually he couldn't take it any more and flipped her onto her back, as he made his way down her body he stopped at her panties.

"I'm taking these with me." He mumbled against her before he pulled them down her legs, throwing them over to his run bag which was neatly packed in the corner.

Before Roxy could respond he moved back up the bed towards her and slid into her in one quick motion.

Juice wanted nothing more than to trail his tongue over his mark on her, but it would have to wait. Just the thought of that, plus Roxy's intense climax, sent him over the edge and he rolled back next to her.

He considered all the times they'd been together in the short time since he'd been released. They'd never once used protection, so he was hoping that perhaps they'd be on their way to starting a family. He knew Roxy said she'd have difficulty conceiving naturally and that she'd probably have to undergo some sort of fertility treatments but he hoped maybe this would give them a fighting chance.

To be honest Juice had almost zero knowledge of getting chicks pregnant. Hell since he started having sex at 15 his main goal had been doing everything to not get them pregnant. So now he was going to have to do some research on this. He did know that all these treatments cost a fortune so that was the plus side to this cartel shit.

The run tomorrow was weighing heavy on his mind, as he was Intelligence Officer and runs the Comms for the club he was in charge of setting the meet with the cartel and if he was caught with this shit he would be in a lot more trouble.

"You're thinking awfully loud." Roxy stirred him from his thoughts.

"Sorry just thinking about all this cartel shit." Juice had told Roxy everything, he knew the Old Lady rule and with Roxy's other connections to the club he figured she'd need to know.

"You'll be fine babe. Everything will go to plan. You can't think about the alternatives. There are a million different things that can happen at every moment of every day. All you gotta focus on is the deliberate moves you gotta make. Forget about the other options." She stroked his cheek and he grabbed her hand, twining their fingers together.

"I love you."

"Love you too."

xxx xxx

Juice left early the next morning to go pack up the truck at Oswald's warehouse with Tig and Miles. Miles was acting super weird but Juice figured it was just nerves from doing his first big run for the club. Plus Miles was the one driving a truck full of semi automatic weapons on the way there and like 40 keys of cocaine on the way back.

He'd said his goodbyes to Roxy early that morning as he'd be leaving for Tuscon from the warehouse and Roxy would be at TM for the day.

As he rode his bike alongside Tig to meet up with the others he couldn't help but feel his worries float away. Despite the cartel, family, and Roosevelt issues playing in the background, the open road gave him some freedom and time to focus on nothing but the journey ahead.

xxx xxx

Roxy couldn't help but feel her mum was taking advantage of her ability to work at TM now. Gemma was always off running errands or looking after Abel and Thomas. Which didn't necessarily bother Roxy seeing as she was being paid; but the job was supposed to have been part time so she could focus on herself and getting ready to go back into her field. But then she thought maybe that was Gemma's end game. Keep her busy at TM so she'd be close.

Piney was supposed to be staying behind to help out at the garage seeing as the rest of the club was away. Happy and Kozik were up north dealing with some other club business and would be back to help out tomorrow, but in the meantime it was just Roxy and Piney holding down the fort. That was until Piney left to go on an errand also. What was with everyone and their pressing 'errands'.

Roxy was taking a quick smoke break, the garage was hectic today and she was getting sick of fielding calls, placing orders and talking to customers. Dog agreed to watch the phones for a moment so she could step out of the office and clear her head. But then her mobile started buzzing. At first she thought it was Juice and hastily pulled it out of her pocket to answer but when she saw Tara's name on the caller ID she groaned.

"Hey what's up Tara?"

"Not much, just thought I better let you know Piney's been admitted to the hospital. I know he's supposed to be helping you at the garage."

Roxy groaned again. "What happened? He ok?"

"Yeah should be. Oxygen levels went a bit loopy. But they're keeping him in overnight to stabilise him... Maybe get some of the alcohol out of his system." She chuckled humourlessly.

"Tara that guy's system is comprised of alcohol so good luck. Thanks for letting me know though."

"Yeah of course." She was quiet for a minute. "Listen, do you want to do dinner tonight? Gemma offered to keep the boys and I feel like we've not really spent much time together recently."

Roxy considered for a moment. Her jealously towards Tara was unfair, but she couldn't help it, and it's not like she had Juice to go home to. Maybe a night together was just what the doctor ordered.

"Sure that'd be nice."

"Wanna do Italian?"

"Sure. Rosa's at 7?"

"See you there."

Roxy went back to work somewhat looking forward to the evening. That was after she cleaned up the mess of the busy garage, all by herself.

xxx xxx

Roxy had like 20 minutes to get ready for dinner by the time she got out of the garage that night. Luckily Dog and Steve stayed behind to help her tidy up the invoices for the next day's pickups otherwise she'd have been there all night.

She was in the middle of applying her makeup after her 2 minute shower when Juice finally called so she put it on speaker.

"Hey baby. Sorry I didn't call sooner you would not believe the day I've had."

Roxy knew better than to ask for details given he'd called her on her personal cell and not a burner.

"I can imagine. I hear they party rough down in SAMTAZ."

"Hmm there ain't gunna be any mood for partying once we are done with this meeting."

"Fair enough. See much at the show?"

"Didn't have much time. Wanted to get some parts for my bike. But might get a chance tomorrow morning. What you up to?"

"Getting ready to go out for dinner with Tara. Going to Rosa's."

"Ah that'll be good for ya. Shit that's our call. Gotta go babe. But I'll call you later. Love you."

"Love you too." Roxy was glad he'd call back later, she was already running too late to sit and fill him in on everything. At least now she would have someone to debrief with after her dinner with Tara. And Juice knew how she felt, he didn't quite understand why it was directed at Tara but he could see why she might feel that way.

xxx xxx

The cartel switch went off without a hitch but Juice was just holding his breath for future drops. They were now back at the SAMTAZ clubhouse enjoying their begrudging hospitality until they left first thing in the morning.

Juice surveyed the scene from his spot at the bar while he enjoyed a beer. There were crow esters and sweet butts hanging around but he had to admit the girls at SAMCRO were far better looking. A particularly tired looking brunette made her way to him, running her hand down his chest. "Hey baby, wanna head back there with me?"

Juice shifted, she was pretty hot, and back in the day he'd most definitely have gone with her, but not now. "Nah I'm good sweetheart."

She shrugged and moved along. Jax came over and took the vacant seat next to him with a smirk on his face. "Not even a blow job man? You're well in line." And chuckled.

"What you reckon your sister'll be cool with that?" He raised his eyebrows sarcastically.

"Yeah probably not." He laughed. "Gunna be a long night."

xxx xxx

Dinner with Tara had gone ok. Tara did ask if Roxy had been avoiding her, which was awkward. Roxy just assured her she wasn't but just that she was still struggling with the loss of the baby and that it was painful to be around Thomas and the family. Tara tried to comfort her and said she hoped it didn't intrude on her bonding with her new nephew.

Roxy agreed, and was going to start working on putting it past her. She also begrudgingly accepted Tara's advice on talking to the psych at the hospital.

Now she was flopped on her sofa with a glass of wine and a smoke, toying with her mobile phone waiting for Juice to call. She didn't want to call him as she didn't know if he was still busy. She was about to give up and call it a night when her phone finally rang. She answered and moved to the kitchen to put her glass away.

"Hey baby, how's it going?"

"Yeah good. Back at the clubhouse now. How was your dinner?"

"Ok. Trying to make things good I guess."

"Nice." He sighed heavily and Roxy could tell he'd just sat down on a bed. So she made her way to their room to relax.

"So not partying Ortiz?"

He chuckled. "No. Not really the mood for it here." He was quiet for a moment. "Just wanna come home."

Roxy could hear something in his voice and knew it was more than just missing her. He was stressed. "You will be soon baby."

She just hoped all this stressful shit ended soon before he got any worse.


	52. Chapter 52

**A/N: thanks Stordec and Sliver of Melody. Hopefully you like what's coming up. It sets everything up from now on.**

Roxy was anxiously awaiting the boys' return down at the clubhouse. She was working in TM as usual, which was great as she'd be the first they'd see when they pulled in. Whenever that would be. She hadn't heard from Juice since the day before when they'd started driving back.

Harley's car pulled in the lot and Roxy perked up a bit. They hadn't hung out in person for a while, both being busy, most of their contact was via text messaging.

"Hey doll!" She hugged Roxy ferociously.

"Hey, what's got you in such a good mood?"

"Your Ma texted me earlier. Dad requested a meeting with her. Figured he must have had his privileges returned. So thought I'd come down here to see what was happening."

"Ah that's awesome."

Roxy pulled her over to the office so they could catch up while she manned the phones. She felt sorry for Harley, since her dad's suicide attempt she hadn't been able to see him and it was killing her.

Now they just had to wait around till Gemma got back to TM. Something Roxy did on a daily basis.

She perked up when she heard bikes pull into the lot and jumped up to see who it was. Her heart sunk when she just saw Kozik and Happy but she was already out of the office so she went to say hi.

"How's it going girl?" Kozik greeted her with a smile.

"Hey Rox." Happy gave her a brief smile before turning to Kozik. "I'll go get it. Be right back then we gotta go."

Kozik nodded and Happy took off for the clubhouse.

"I'm good. Where you off to now?"

"Just some more club stuff." Kozik eyed her up and down. "How you doing really?" Last time he'd seen her was when they danced at the wedding and Juice dragged her away.

Roxy crossed her arms. "If you're talking about the wedding, then I'm fine. We talked shit out and everything's good."

Kozik smiled. "Then I'm glad. Just want you to be happy."

"Thanks Kozik." She returned his smile as Happy came jogging over.

"See you next time." Kozik winked.

Roxy rolled her eyes and waved both guys off.

xxx xxx

Juice got off his bike and cracked his back. Finally back home he couldn't wait to go see his girl. First they had to drop the Coke off at the warehouse.

Alvarez and Jax sorted the details and Juice prayed he wasn't asked to stay and guard the merchandise. Thankfully Miles, Rat, and Phil got the lucky task.

"Rest of you go home and catch some sleep. Meet back at the clubhouse by noon."

Juice breathed a sigh of relief. He'd go to the clubhouse to see Roxy and grab some shut eye in his dorm. It had been a long night riding.

But before he could even mount his bike he got a text from Roosevelt of all people, on his personal cell.

Juice rode to the address Roosevelt gave him, at the end of his tether already.

Roosevelt parked and made his way over to him which made Juice feel very shifty. He hadn't wanted to tell the club until he knew what Roosevelt wanted, plus the rest of the guys needed sleep. He'd tell them at church later.

"Welcome home. How was the bike show?" Roosevelt made his way over to Juice's bike.

"Our PO signed off on the run."

"I'm gunna set up random piss tests. Let's us get together and chat in private."

Juice looked at him. "Blow me."

"You know, save the badass. Your MC ain't gunna give a shit about you being loyal or hard, coz all they gonna see is black. Now this is a simple trade, you give me some truth and I protect yours."

"What truth man?"

"My sources in the Oaktown gang unit say a major player surfaced in Northern Cali. Galindo Cartel. If I find out you guys are bringing weight into Sanwa, I will cripple you."

Juice needed to get some more information, surprised at how much he knew. "Where the hell you going with this?"

"I'm not going after your club. I'm going after the drugs."

"You're a sheriff, man. You ain't got the reach for any of this shit."

"I got important friends." Roosevelt made his way back to his car.

Juice needed to know how he knew this stuff. "How important?"

"I will let you know."

Juice watched him leave before getting back on his bike and heading to the clubhouse. He needed to see Roxy.

xxx xxx

Roxy heard the rumble of a bike and saw Juice pull into the lot. She left Harley and ran out to jump Juice.

"Hey babe!" She kissed him before he could even get off his bike.

Juice wrapped his arms round her and pulled her closer for a deep kiss. After a few minutes he pulled away and swung his leg over so he could get off his bike.

Harley, who had been watching the exchange from the office, yelled over. "You guys go inside. I'll watch the office."

Roxy grinned. "Thanks babe!"

Juice smirked and grabbed his bag off the bike before dragging Roxy down to his dorm room.

After some serious love making they were laying back on his bed sharing a joint.

"So. Glad you're home then?"

Juice smiled and pulled on her with the arm that was round her shoulders before passing her the joint again. "You know it." He was quiet a moment. "Talked to Roosevelt before as well. Wanted to meet me before I came back here."

"You tell him to stick it?"

"Nah told him to blow me." He grinned. "Nah club wants to know more first."

"Ah right."

"Hey!" He exclaimed, before jumping out the bed and going over to his bag. Roxy watched him curiously as he pulled out two big blocks of cash and crawled back over to her.

"What's this?" She asked, fingering the money.

"The upside to working with a cartel. Our first payment."

"The club's?" She asked, curious as to why Juice had all the money.

"No. My payment."

Roxy's eyes widened. "What?! All this is yours?"

"Yup. All ours babe."

Roxy smiled. "Your money. You worked for it."

"Hardly. Plus you're my Old Lady now. I gotta take care of you."

"Is that right?" Roxy smirked.

"That is right. I'm thinking new car for you first of all. Then maybe we can invest in a new sofa, mine has had it. And maybe a new stove. Some parts for my bike..."

"Check you out. Regular house husband." She laughed. "But you don't need to buy me a new car. Mine is fine."

"It's a rusty piece of shit Rox." He levelled her with a look not to argue. "Not fair I'm riding round on a fancy bike and you're driving a beat up rust box. Doesn't look good. People will think I don't look after you."

She was going to argue but the look on his face told her not to. "By people you mean my dad."

"Yeah. Mainly. He always takes care of your Ma. Would expect me to do the same."

He was right. Her mum had a massive rock on her finger and always had flash cars and clothes. "Mmm. Ok. Just remember I do not have the same taste, or expectations, as my Ma. So don't go nuts. I'm happy with whatever."

"I wanna spoil you when I can. Don't know when stuff like this runs out."

"That's why you gotta be smart and save some of it."

"Yeah I will." He looked at her for a moment and seemed nervous all of a sudden. "Plus I've been thinking. We can invest some of it in fertility treatments. If you want."

Roxy felt her breath hitch. Aside from forgoing birth control they hadn't really talked about the specifics of starting a family. Their first pregnancy had been an accident; although wanted, and although he promised her a family she thought it might be a while yet till he was properly ready.

"You ready for that?"

He looked at her seriously now. "100% babe."

The two continued to make out, cuddle, and talk until Juice had to go to church. Neither knowing it'd be the last time they'd be so care free for some time.

xxx xxx

Juice and Roxy were sitting outside smoking while they waited for the rest of the guys to arrive for church.

Harley stormed over to Roxy with tears in her eyes.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" Roxy jumped off the picnic bench when she saw Harley's tears and pulled her in for a hug.

Harley continued crying as Roxy pulled her to sit on the bench next to her. Juice shifted uncomfortably in his seat not really sure what to do. Crying chicks were foreign to him but he thought if he left it would be rude.

"Gemma talked to my dad." She hiccuped and sobbed. "Turns out Bobby was banging my mom before she died. They found his- his- stuff on her and apparently like a huge percentage of victims are killed by the person they were with and now I don't know what happened and why would she cheat on my dad? Why would Bobby do that?"

Juice was shocked at the admission of Bobby sleeping with Luann.

"Oh sweetheart I'm so sorry. I didn't even know. But Bobby didn't kill your mum. There's no way." She rubbed Harley's back comfortingly.

"Why would they do that anyway? I feel so bad for my dad."

Roxy sighed. "I don't know babe. But he's been in for a long time. Maybe she was lonely."

"He's only been in for so long coz he kept doing shit for this stupid club. They've fucked him in every way. Even his wife." She got up off the bench and went to the office to get her stuff. She'd left in such a hurry after Gemma told her what Otto said and she needed to leave now. Roxy gave Juice an apologetic look and he waved her off to tend to Harley.

Roxy was walking Harley back to her car when Bobby pulled into the lot with Clay and Jax and Harley threw her stuff on the floor and stormed over to the bikes.

"How could you?!" She slapped Bobby.

"Wow wow wow. Harley!" Jax got up to pull Harley back as she started slapping and hitting at Bobby who was stumbling backwards trying to ward off the blows. Clay stood looking in in shock as Juice ran over to help break up the fracas.

"What the hell did you do Bobby?" Clay asked gruffly after the guys had Harley under control as she sobbed into Roxy's shoulder.

"Uhm I'm gunna guess she found out about me and Luann."

By this stage Gemma had joined the group having heard the commotion from the office.

"I went to see Otto today, turns out our Sheriff has DNA results from the semen found on Luann." She raised her eyebrows to Bobby. "Tried telling Otto that a massive percentage of victims are killed by their lovers in hope he'd turn on the club."

"So he should!" Harley interjected. "How could you do that to him Bobby?!"

Bobby tried apologising as Clay turned to Roxy and Gemma. "Get her outta here." Not liking the accusations being thrown at the club. "You lot, chapel. Now. We'll deal with this shit later."

xxx xxx

Miles and the prospects were still at the warehouse so it was the established members who made up the table today. The guys kept the identity of Luann's lover to themselves but theorised that Georgie Caruso was the killer. They had to find out for Otto who the killer was and he was their best lead.

Juice did feel pretty awful for Harley and Otto. Although their situation was slightly different he totally understood the feeling of finding out someone else has had your girl while you're rotting away in prison. He couldn't help but look at Bobby in a slightly different light now.

However they were off to find Georgie Caruso now, see if they could get some more info on what happened that night. If they didn't do it soon there was a very real possibility he'd turn on the club. Or Harley too, she was pretty upset.

Juice was waiting by his bike for the others while Clay, Jax, and Bobby figured out what to do. Clay barked out some orders while he was walking over to the office for Gemma. "Find out how Harley is and tell your Old Lady she's to make sure Harley doesn't talk to the cops or anyone. Got it?"

"On it." He nodded as Clay stormed past.

xxx xxx

To keep Harley busy and in an attempt to calm her down Roxy coerced her into helping her cook meals for Unser. She'd been doing this every couple of weeks since he'd moved into his trailer. She'd felt pretty bad for him since he'd given up almost everything to help the club.

She ranted to Roxy for a bit while they cooked and Roxy just waited her out like a best friend should.

When Roxy's phone started buzzing she left Harley in charge of the meat sauce while she moved to the living room to answer.

"Hey baby. How's everything your end?"

Juice sighed. "Alright for now. But you gotta keep Harley in line. Clay doesn't want her talking to the cops or anything."

"I'll try my best baby."

"No trying. Do it." He said sternly.

Roxy choked a little bit. Why the hell was he ordering her like that. "Uhm ok then, douchebag. Goodbye." She hung up, no way was she going to be spoken to like that. She moved through to the kitchen to help Harley box up the meals so they could get round to Unser's and maybe clear her head of dickhead boyfriends.

xxx xxx

Juice found himself once again at a porn studio as they spoke to Dondo regarding Georgie Caruso's whereabouts.

He stifled a laugh when Tig found out about Georgie's sex dolls. Man that guy hated dolls, but at the same time had the weirdest, kinkiest, sex life. Juice wouldn't put it past him if he used one just for the thrill of it. Then he figured he might have to invest in one given Roxy's tone at the end of their call before she hung up.

He hadn't meant to come across so hard but Clay didn't just ask him to call Roxy, he told him to order his Old Lady to do something and he knew he'd be in the shit if Roxy fell through.

For once he was not looking forward to going home at night.

xxx xxx

Roxy and Harley pulled up to Unser's trailer and that's when they noticed Clay's Harley parked outside the trailer. The two men appeared to be having a heated conversation next to the burning fire drum but stopped when the two girls approached.

"What do you want?" Clay asked gruffly.

"Just dropping off Unser's food." Roxy responded as she walked past, knowing where the freezer was.

Harley kept her distance, choosing instead to sit in the car.

When Roxy reappeared again she had a strong feeling she was interrupting something. "Well I'm gunna head off. Been a draining day."

"Thanks darling. You know you don't have to do this for me every couple of weeks."

"I don't mind Wayne. I'll see you soon."

Clay grabbed her arm as she walked past. "She doesn't speak to anyone. Remember that."

"Ow-" she exclaimed "I know. Juice already ordered me." She grumbled as she walked away.

Jesus, what crawled up everyone's assess? She thought as she walked back to the car.

xxx xxx

Juice was kind of happy when Georgie showed up and he'd get to take his frustrations out on him. But then Ima pulled a gun and they had to deal with her crazy ass and chase after Georgie. Then he had to drag Bobby's ass off Georgie, which was no mean feat.

After they'd cooled everyone down and tied up Georgie, Juice's phone buzzed. He thought at first it might be Roxy, but nope, it was Roosevelt. Chibs came over to see what the problem was.

"Roosevelt. Wants to meet." Juice shifted uncomfortably.

"Go. See what he wants."

Before long Juice found himself in a room at the station with Roosevelt pacing confidently before him.

"My friend, the string puller, needs a little good faith."

"You must be kidding me with this shit."

"That shipment that you muled outta Tucson? He wants a sample. If it's uncut it has markers and the lab can isolate the region."

"There's no Coke."

Roosevelt didn't believe him for a second. "You tell me who's pushing it out in Sanwa. We connect the cartel, leave SAMCRO out of it." Juice avoided his gaze. It seemed like a good deal to Juice given they already knew about the Coke. When Juice didn't speak Roosevelt continued. "Look... I just want things to get back to normal. Your MC's outta drugs, your daddy back in the colour closet."

Juice got up to leave, not wanting to give anything away, afraid that if he said anything it would incriminate the club and cause a search on the warehouse and he didn't want that to happen till the stuff was gone. He tried to leave but the door was locked. He was at Roosevelt's mercy.

"It's a lose-lose if you fight me, Juice." He got up to open the door. "I'll give you two days."

"It's not happening because there's nothing there." And with that he left. Only question now was where should he head.

Back to the clubhouse and his girl? Or up to the warehouse?


	53. Chapter 53

Juice was going to head home or back to the clubhouse, wherever Roxy was, but called Chibs first.

"So what did our illustrious sheriff want from you?"

"Can't say over the phone. You at the clubhouse?"

"Yup come on down."

Juice sped to TM and went straight to the bar to see Chibs and Clay.

"They know everything."

"How?" Clay eyed him.

"I don't know, man. He knows we muled the Coke, about the cartel. Wanted me to take a sample of the Coke and give it over for them to test. Reckon they don't want us. Just the cartel."

"Shit." Chibs exclaimed.

"What did you say to him?" Clay asked seriously.

"Nothing much. Just that I wouldn't do it coz there's nothing to sample."

Clay nodded. "Alright. Go to the warehouse and check on everything. Make sure there's no tail on you or any surveillance on the warehouse. See what the prospects are up to."

"Sure thing." He turned to leave but stopped to talk to Chibs. "Roxy go home?"

"Aye. After she locked up."

"No time for pussy, Juice. Move it." Juice blanched at Clay not only referring to his Old Lady as just pussy, but referring to his own daughter as pussy. But he followed his orders and made his way to check on things at the warehouse.

When he got there he was greeted by Phil who was standing, lonely, the front.

Juice had doubled back a few times and was sure he didn't have a tail. He also had a good look around the property but could see no tell tale signs of surveillance.

He hung around with the prospects for a bit waiting for Miles to come back from his turn at patrolling around the warehouse. But he started getting cold and gave up. Shit he wasn't a prospect any more he had a girl to get home to, and probably fight with, so he said his goodbyes and mounted his bike.

By the time he got home it was well after midnight and Roxy was fast asleep. Not in the mood for the argument he was sure would happen, he quietly slipped his jeans and tshirt off and carefully placing them in the wash basket before climbing into bed next to his girl to enjoy the peace while it lasted.

xxx xxx

Roxy heard Juice come home late the night before but just didn't have the energy to deal with him after he'd been such an ass to her about Harley earlier. So when she woke up to him snoring in her ear she continued to let the rage boil.

Roxy threw herself out of bed and stomped around the room gathering her clothes for the day. She chose her usual tight blue wash jeans and paired it with a tight fitting navy blue tshirt and stormed her way to the ensuite. Not caring if she woke him up or not. Serve him right to talk to her like shit. Perhaps she was just hormonal and overreacting but then again; he was an asshole.

Juice heard Roxy stomping around the room but decided he needed a few minutes to get himself together before they had it out so he decided to pretend he was still sleeping while she had a shower.

When she came out of the ensuite, fully dressed, hair tied up, she made her way to her dresser to start her makeup, deliberately ignoring him sitting on the end of bed.

Juice sighed. "So we're gunna be immature about this are we?"

Roxy was stood with her back to him facing her dresser mirror applying mascara. "Hmm? Oh no. Not immature. I just have the decency to keep my mouth shut if I'm incapable of speaking nicely to the other person." She smiled sweetly at him in the mirror.

"Fucks sake Rox don't be like that." He rubbed his hand over his mohawk.

"Like what?"

"All snarky."

"Don't like it, do you?" She turned to glare at him. "Neither do I." She walked toward him. "I may be your Old Lady, but I will not take orders or be spoken to like that. I'm not my mother and you're not Clay. So cool it." She moved to walk past him to grab her sneakers but he grabbed her wrist.

"I don't have time for this shit, I got a lot of club shit going on and I'm stressed so can we just have this out and move on?"

Roxy saw red now. He didn't have time for this shit? Really? "Oh yeah coz all I do is sit on my ass all day twiddling my thumbs, awaiting your next order." She jerked her wrist out of his grasp. "I don't have time for this 'shit' either. So get back to me when you've gotten over yourself." She bent down, grabbed her shoes, bag, and jacket and stormed out of the room.

"Roxy?! Come back here. We're not done!" He jumped off the bed, completely pissed now at her dramatic over reaction to a simple request on the phone. He followed her through the living room.

"Yeah. We are, Juan Carlos." He tried to stop her again, and she looked into his face, eyes boring into hers and his nostrils flaring. "Come talk to me when you've calmed down and can act like a normal adult." She jerked away from him again and slammed the front door behind her.

He swore in frustration and swept the vase on the end table onto the floor, relishing the sound of the crash in his anger. Why was she being such a bitch? What was with the over reaction to him asking her to do something? She had to listen to club shit and at the end of the day she was his Old Lady. She agreed to that so she needs to get with the program.

He was going to storm off to his room to get ready for the day but the shards of vase lying on the floor were pulling him back. The compulsion in his head told him he had to clean it up, but he turned back around and forced it away. She could clean it up. He had shit to do. But ignoring it only got worse and made the ominous feeling in the pit of his stomach grow.

xxx xxx

Harley had cooled off over night and made her way back to the clubhouse to see Roxy. They were currently leaning on the wall at the front of the office. The mechanics were getting ready for opening while the two girls smoked.

"Guess I owe Bobby an apology." Harley exhaled her smoke.

"Maybe. It's up to you. In terms of club life he did nothing wrong. Prison clause. But morally I think you have every right to be angry with him."

"To be honest I'm more angry with my Ma for doing that to pops. But she's not here. I can't talk to her about it." Her breath hitched in her throat. "I was talking to Lyla last night and she says I should apologise."

"Do what you're comfortable with. Plus you don't know the story. She was probably really lonely and in need of someone." She was quiet a moment. "Why Bobby when there was always a room full of hot male porn stars surrounding her I don't know. But hey."

Harley laughed at that and the two continued talking as they watched Opie and Jax exchange heated words.

"Wonder what's up with the old married couple?" Roxy gestured to them.

"Lovers tiff."

Opie got up to leave Jax and wandered over to his bike looking a bit lost. Jax made his way back into the clubhouse.

"I'm gunna go see what's up with the jolly giant over there."

"Sure thing. I'm gunna hang for a bit before I head to the studio. See if Bobby comes by."

Roxy nodded and made her way to Opie.

"What's going on?"

"Hm?" He looked to her. "Oh nothing."

"Trouble in paradise?"

"Something like that."

"I feel ya."

"Thought you and Juice were all good?"

"Thought you and Lyla were all good too."

"Touché. What's going on with you guys?"

"I dunno Ope. He's been a bit more... unusual lately. And yesterday he just pissed me off. He gave me a order, would you believe? Like a legit demand." She made a disgusted sound.

"Club related?"

"I guess. But still. He knows I'll do what he asks but he had to go and be all 'Old Man' on me." She sighed and sat on Jax's bike seeing as it was next to Ope's. She knew he wouldn't mind.

"Way it is sometimes. Cut him some slack though. Lots of club shit going on right now he just needs support."

"Yeah? Well I do too." She huffed.

Opie gave her a sad smile but kept his opinion to himself. She knew what the deal was when she agreed to be his Old Lady.

"So you and Lyla? Or you and Jax? Which relationship is down in the dumps." He smiled and threw his gum wrapper at her.

"Found Lyla's birth control yesterday." He said solemnly.

"I thought you guys were trying for-" she cut herself off. "Ohhh. Oh. Right. I see."

"Yeah. So here I am wondering why she's not pregnant yet, turns out she never planned on it."

"I'm sure you'll work it out though. Maybe it's just not the right time for her."

"Doesn't matter." He looked out across the lot. "I'm just trying to fill a void. First with Lyla, now with a kid, but I'm beginning to realise it's not closing."

Roxy reached out to touch his arm. "Opie, Donna's void will probably never fill. But it doesn't mean you can't still be happy. And you don't need to forget her, but you need some company. You deserve that after all."

Opie looked up to her now. "Thanks Rox. And just go easy on Juice. He tries so hard to impress us, you, your Ol man and brother, sometimes to impress one you gotta hurt another."

"Mmmm well he keeps it up and I'm hurting him." She smirked and moved in for a hug, Opie and her grew really close after the Mayan incident and what with the guys inside, closer than they had been growing up thanks to their age gap.

"Oh I don't doubt it. Now get back to work." He pushed her towards the garage.

"Yeah, yeah. Says the guy who's not worked a shift in the shop for well over 2 months." She paused and turned back to him. "Just talk to Lyla. Sort it out, figure out what you both want. But if her company makes you happy then I suggest you cut her some slack and keep her around."

Opie felt his stomach drop then. Thanks to his stunt with Ima it was likely there'd be no keeping Lyla round now.

xxx xxx

Juice made his way to the warehouse with the others. Thankfully they were handing the Coke off to the Mayans today which took some of the heat off them.

He watched on as Opie and Chibs counted the Coke. But everyone was surprised, no one more than Juice to notice that they were one brick light.

All hell broke loose as the two MCs argued it out. Jax and Clay sent everyone out so they could talk to Alvarez in peace. Chibs pulled Juice to the side when they got outside.

"What the hell boy?"

"I didn't fucking take it! Why they hell would I tell you and then do that?!"

"Well someone did."

Juice glared at Chibs, not believing he was getting the blame for this.

Jax and Clay emerged from the warehouse and made their way over to the two.

"Juice?" Clay questioned.

"They must be pressing someone else too. They wouldn't put all their eggs in one basket. Plus I as much as told them yesterday it wasn't happening."

Clay sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. "So we gotta figure out who else it was. No way Bobby or Tig would do it. Or Happy. Just leaves Miles and the prospects."

"Miles wouldn't. Couldn't be the prospects, man. They didn't know what was in there." Jax said.

"They knew it was worth protecting though." Clay retorted.

The guys were at an impasse. This was going to be a long day.

xxx xxx

Roxy's day just got a whole lot better. She was stewing about Juice when a cab pulled up in the lot. She watched as Tig's daughter Dawn emerged from the cab. What the fuck was that poisonous bitch doing here?

She felt bad for the girls and the shit they had to put up with growing up in their parents' relationship. But Dawn was a mega bitch to Tig and he never deserved it.

Roxy called for one of the mechanics to watch the office, grabbed a smoke, and made her way over to Gemma and Tara who were talking with Dawn.

"It's Margaux now, with an x." Dawn smiled sickly sweet. Ugh Roxy just wanted to punch that look right off her face.

"Roxy hiiiii. Good to see you." She pulled Roxy in for a fake hug. Gemma raised her eyebrows behind Dawn's back and Roxy rolled her eyes. Tara watched the exchange in amusement.

They arranged for Chucky to hunt down Tig as they dealt with Dawn's drama.

As the group entered the clubhouse Tara handed Thomas over to Piney, before they were met with another of Roxy's favourite people. Ima. Emerging from a dorm room.

"Morning." She said, cheerily.

Tara was immediately on the defensive. A result from Jax and Juice's stupid plan to drive the girls away before Ireland.

"What are you doing here?"

"I was a guest." Ima responded snarkily.

"Whose?"

"Is that really any of your business?" She eyed Tara up and down.

"You should make it our business." Gemma and Roxy moved forward.

"I was invited."

"Invitations over." Tara joined the group.

"Now would be a good time to get your shit and get out." Roxy stared her down.

The four women stared down but Ima didn't move.

"Bitch, she will rip your little tits off." Gemma motioned to Roxy.

Ima have them another look and decided to leave. Tara stormed out the building and Roxy hoped like hell that her brother wouldn't be so stupid. Gemma and Roxy took off after her to find out.

"Jax come home last night?"

"Not the point. She shouldn't be here. I hate this shit."

"I know, baby."

The three stopped when they saw Lyla coming out of her car.

"Great. Here comes another one."

"Be nice Tara. She's a good one."

Tara snorted derisively.

"You guys seen Ope?" Lyla asked hopefully.

Oh shit, Roxy thought. This wasn't good. It would explain Opie's mood this morning.

"Uh. I think he's with the guys." Gemma answered.

"Oh ok. He didn't come home last night. I'm just worried."

Yup. This was not good.

"Uh I think they had a late one. Sure he just crashed here."

"Oh ok." She looked down.

"Something wrong?"

"No." She paused. "We're struggling a little. Lot of distance. We don't talk much."

"Just lizard brain baby. Happens to all guys when they get married." Gemma tried to reassure. But Roxy couldn't me Lyla's gaze.

"Yeah just give it some time." Tara interjected when no one else spoke.

"Ok." Lyla seemed to accept it and the girls made to leave.

"That felt shitty." Tara whispered when they were far enough away.

"Yeah not our business."

They continued walking until Roxy, however, noticed Lyla spot Ima's car.

"Uh we got trouble." She said to the others as she gestured to Lyla storming into the clubhouse.

Roxy ran after her and stopped just inside the door as Lyla and Ima faced off.

"What are you doing here?"

"Nobody says good morning any more."

"You spend the night?" Lyla asked tensely.

"You don't wanna know sweetie."

Lyla knew it then. "You back stabbing little gash."

Roxy was ready to pull Lyla back if she had to.

"Hey, I was just following his lead. Married pussy, is boring pussy."

Roxy saw just as much red as Lyla did at that point and the two of them lunged forward to grab at Ima, but Ima pulled her gun out.

"Hey hey hey hey!" Tig yelled as Piney manoeuvred Thomas out of the line of fire.

"I will blow a hole right through that pretty little yammy of yours." Ima waved the gun around as she tried to leave. As it passed over Roxy she felt pure rage bubbling in her veins.

"Why him?" Lyla just asked dejectedly.

"You want answers honey? Go ask the cock that was inside me last night."

Roxy stood in the way of Ima as Lyla started crying and stormed off. Roxy stared down the barrel of Ima's gun, she knew she wouldn't use it, she just wanted to wind her up, show her who she was messing with.

Tig moved over and stepped in, worried that Roxy was getting too close. "Get out. Now." He pointed to Ima.

She lowered her gun, only slightly, but started moving back.

"Keep that .38 close bitch, you're gunna need it." Tara threatened as she walked past her out the door.

Ima made a hasty exit and when Roxy was sure she was on her way out she grabbed her Ma's gun and ran out into the lot just as Ima drove past. Roxy took aim and shot out the back windscreen as she drove past. "Stupid slut!"

Gemma watched on and cheered. That was her girl! "Feel good baby?"

"You got no idea."

xxx xxx

The guys had Happy and Miles stage an interrogation to try scare the prospects. Juice did feel sorry for them, he knew it wasn't them, they were too innocent. Must have been Miles. He was the only one that made sense. But Miles was off now, sent to survey the security footage. Usually it'd have been Juice's job, but they needed him at the warehouse for the interrogation seeing as he was now classed as a senior patch.

Ope's phone rang just as Phil threw up with the tension of the roulette, he answered. He filled in Juice and Jax and the three left the room, bumping into Clay.

"Where you guys going?"

"Domestic at the clubhouse. Psycho porn star pulled a gun on Gemma and the girls."

"Jesus Christ." Came Clay's response. "They alright?"

"Gunna find out."

"Well I need one of you to stay here."

The three looked between each other before Juice stepped forward. "I'll stay. Roxy's pissed at me anyways."

"Yeah she is." Ope chuckled.

Juice frowned. How did he know? "Sure. Can you just lemme know how she is?"

"Sure brother." Jax and Ope left leaving Juice behind to stew some more on the increasingly frustrating situations he found himself in.

xxx xxx

Roxy couldn't stay in the clubhouse listening to Dawn's shit any longer. All she wanted off Tig was money. And he was falling for it. Dawn had no idea how lucky she was to have a dad like Tig and she just took advantage.

She went back to the office to hang with her Ma when Clay, Jax, and Opie roared in. She had a piece of her mind to give Opie that was for sure.

She walked over with Gemma and the group made their way over to the clubhouse.

"You ok?" Clay checked.

"Yeah." Roxy and Gemma responded.

"Where's Lyla?" Ope asked.

"Clubhouse."

"Ima?" Jax questioned.

"She took off, right after Roxy put a round through her back windscreen." The guys looked towards her then. "She said some cruel shit Ope. This may be none of my business, but you hooking up-"

"Mom don't." Jax was pissed now.

"Bitch pulled a gun on us."

"No, she's right. It's my shit."

The group continued walking when Piney stood up from his spot at the end of the bike row and knocked Opie to the ground with a solid punch to the head.

"Jesus!" Roxy exclaimed.

The guys let Opie stand up on his own before turning to Piney.

"Your dick almost got people killed." He looked Opie up and down. "I don't know who you are any more." He glared once more and stalked off.

Opie let Tara patch him up inside the clubhouse and Tara did not hold back on letting them know she was pissed and stormed off as soon as she was finished. The two guys raised their eyebrows at each other as Tara left.

"Doc seems pissed." Ope stated.

Roxy was still angry as hell and it irked her more that Juice didn't come to see how she was. "Wouldn't you be?" She hold off her seat. "You're both jackasses."

And with that, she too, stormed off.

xxx xxx

Juice had managed to sneak a quick text in to Roxy while they left the prospects in the room with a loaded gun. Juice knew they wouldn't get an answer as his gut feeling told him they didn't do it.

He led texted her to see how she was after Ima. But the only response he got was "what do you care?"

So he left it. She wanted to be a bitch then have at it.

Chibs walked back over to Juice and Happy as Juice was flicking his phone open and closed, thinking about Roxy.

"We gottae put one of them down." He said.

"Whoa whoa whoa. I don't think it was them. Roosevelt surely would know that the prospects wouldn't have that kinda clout in the club."

They argued for a few minutes before Juice managed to convince them to give the guys 15 minutes. He didn't think they took it but maybe this last bluff would work.

"I gotta take a piss. Clear out. Give em the 15."

Chibs shrugged and agreed after sending Happy to sit on the prospect's bikes to stop them leaving.

Juice made his way into the scrub on the other side of the warehouse to take a piss when he bumped into Miles.

"What you doing out here?" He asked.

"Oh just cutting through from the guardhouse." Miles shifted uncomfortably. That's when Juice noticed the missing key of blow sticking out from Miles' pants.

Miles noticed Juice's gaze and the two stared each other down for a second.

"Jesus, you took it?" Juice asked. He started to pull his gun out, intending on taking Miles back to the guys to explain. He knew Roosevelt was behind this and he didn't want Miles to die for making the very mistake he could have done.

"Whoa, easy man!" Miles stated. "I'm not carrying." He pulled the blow from his pants. "You gotta let me explain!"

"Yeah. Back at the warehouse." He gestured for Miles to get moving. "Let's go."

Miles nodded, but then panicked, he threw the Coke at Juice and lunged for his gun. The two struggled over the weapon for a second and it fired into Juice's leg. The searing pain caused Juice to double over and he saw stars for a second. This gave Miles the chance to rip his knife from his pants. Juice came to his senses just in time and grabbed the gun, Miles lunged at him with the knife, ready to stab him. Juice panicked, he couldn't move to defend himself, and felt trapped. Adrenaline and primal survival instincts coursing he raised the gun and shot Miles right in the head.

Miles dropped right in front of him and Juice could taste the metallic spray of blood that covered his face. There was dead silence for a millisecond before the gunshots triggered a ringing in his ears.

When the ringing subsided he could hear the guys calling for him. He couldn't help the groan of pain that fell out of his mouth as they approached him.

"Juicy!"

"What the hell happened?" Happy growled.

"He was walking back through with the key. I was trying to get him to come back to the warehouse to explain but he freaked out. Tried to kill me. I took one in the leg in the fight but he pulled his knife. I had to kill him, man. I had to." Juice panted his confession to Chibs as he and Happy helped him to his feet.

"S'alright Juicy boy. You did what you had to."

Happy unloaded several rounds into Miles' lifeless body. "Lying bitch!"

Chibs glared at him. "You get him?"

Happy nodded and wrapped Juice's arm round his shoulder again and helped Chibs move him back to the warehouse just as Jax, Clay, and Opie pulled in.

"What the hell happened?" Clay

"Miles. Juicy Boy caught him with that."

"Shit. Miles?" Ope asked.

"He is very dead." Happy growled almost gleefully.

"I oughta shoot you guys for patching him in." He turned to Juice. "Good work, Juicy."

"Yeah." Juice panted through the pain. Pleased with receiving Clay's praise despite it being at the cost of a brother.

"Look uh, Romeo's gunna be here any minute."

"Yeah we'll clean this up. Pack it away." Jax took the Coke and moved off to the warehouse.

"Get him in the van." Chibs gestured to the prospects.

Clay pulled Happy with him. "The thief. Put him in deep. No marker. Have Laurel and Hardy do it."

"Yes I will." He moved over to the two helping Juice. "Finished here, find me."

The prospects nodded, relief filling them at being out of the line of fire.

"We'll take him to Jax's. I'll call Tara." Chibs stated to the group.

"Roxy." Juice panted. "Get Roxy."

The prospects helped him in the van and Phil then called Roxy. Not looking forward to the conversation.

xxx xxx

Roxy looked at her buzzing phone, thinking it would be Juice once again she wasn't going to answer. But the unknown number flashing on the screen made her think twice.

"Hello?"

"Roxy?"

"Yeah. Phil? What's wrong?"

"Juice. He was shot-"

"He what?!"

"He's ok. I think. We are taking him to Jax's."

"Shit. I'm on my way." Roxy ended the call, heart in her throat and ran across the lot to her car, feeling like total shit at how they left their morning.


	54. Chapter 54

Roxy bolted up the front steps into Jax's house and stormed through the front door. She was greeted by the sight of Juice lying on the dining table while Tara worked on him. As she got closer she noticed he was covered in blood. Literally covered head to toe in blood spray. He only seemed to be shot in the leg, where Tara was working, so why he had spray on his face she didn't know.

"Oh my god. Juice baby, you ok?" She knelt by the top of the table so she could look in his face.

Juice was in an immense amount of pain and was fighting to hold back tears. Not just from the physical pain but from the pain of his actions in killing Miles. That could have been him. He could have been the one that stole the Coke and he would have just wished the club could hear him out first. That's what he wanted for Miles. But that didn't happen. The guilt was swirling in his head and he kept thinking about the vase he broke that morning. If only he'd cleaned it up none of this would have happened.

Chibs could see Juice was barely holding it together and was trying his best in front of Roxy, so he gestured for her to follow him. Roxy dithered for a moment but Tara assured her Juice would be fine, so she gave the top of his head a kiss and followed Chibs through to the living room away from Juice.

"What in the hell happened Chibs? And if you just say 'club shit' so help me god I will punch you in the throat."

Chibs would have laughed at the threat in any other situation.

"There was an issue, club business-" he gave Roxy a look to calm down- "and Juice got shot. He ended up killing someone. A brother. Miles."

Roxy's eyes widened, there's no way he would be OK after this. He was bad enough after killing some random Russian gangster never mind a brother and friend.

"Oh shit."

"Oh shit indeed. I don't need to tell you how much that boy's hurting right now." Roxy nodded her agreement. "I don't know what all he tells you, Roxy, but make sure he talks about this. He can't keep it to himself. He's barely holding on out there."

"Don't worry Chibs. I'll look after him." She made her way back to the dining room where Tara was finishing stitching the wound on the back of his leg. Roxy pulled a chair over and sat next to his face. She wanted to kiss him and make it all better but his face was covered in what she assumed was Miles' blood. So she settled for stroking his face instead. She could feel his jaw clench from either pain or in an attempt to hold back tears, she didn't know. Roxy continued to hold him as he came to terms with being a killer. Chibs watched on hoping Roxy really could deal with this.

"I'm gunna need you to flip over Juice. Can you do that?" Tara asked, her voice sounding very loud in the silent space.

When Juice didn't respond Roxy tapped his cheek and spoke quietly to him. "Baby? You need to turn over."

"Huh? Oh sure."

Roxy and Tara stepped back as Chibs helped him shift over.

"How hard were the painkillers you gave him?"

Tara looked blankly at Roxy. "I haven't given him any."

"Huh." This wasn't good. Juice was numbing himself to everything.

"He'll be ok. I'll give you some oxy to take home."

"I'm more worried about his mental space than the pain." She said as Juice swore while Chibs helped him onto his back.

"Now that I can't help you with."

xxx xxx

Chibs had called VLin to come help him take Juice home. Roxy left as Tara was finishing him up so she could get him some more weed, something for dinner, clean up the vase she'd noticed he'd broken, and arrange the bed for him. Tara said he should start walking better tomorrow or the next day but for tonight he'd need to elevate his leg with a pillow under the knee.

She'd just finished the spaghetti when she heard Juice's grunts of pain as the boys helped him in the front door. Roxy showed them through to the bedroom and Chibs had VLin wait outside while he helped Roxy strip Juice of his bloody clothes.

"Think you can handle him for a shower?" He asked her as they helped him out of his jeans.

"Yeah probably."

"Ok we'll wait out there."

"Thanks Chibs."

Juice had remained quiet during the exchange but as Roxy helped him limp to the shower he spoke up. "I'm not an invalid. I can do it myself."

Roxy chose to ignore his snappy tone and continued to help him to the shower. If she'd removed his arm from her shoulder he definitely would have fallen over.

"I know. But let me help." His face softened and he allowed her to help him out of his boxers and into the shower.

Roxy stripped off her clothes and joined him. Tara had put water proof bandages over both wounds and Roxy was to change them every few hours.

Roxy felt him relax into her as she soaped up his body to wash everything away. She took a flannel next and started gently scrubbing his face. After a couple of minutes Juice grabbed her wrist to stop her and pulled her in gently for a kiss. Roxy embraced him as best she could as he was leaning on the wall for support. As she deepened the kiss she felt the tears run down his face. Pulling away from him she squeezed him again.

"It's gunna be ok. Once we've finished in here I'll get Chibs to help you into bed, I'll feed you, then we'll talk all about it. For now just focus on getting comfortable."

Juice nodded as he complied with her plan.

Roxy got out of the shower first and wrapped a towel around her before awkwardly helping Juice out and drying him off.

As Roxy dried him and helped him into clean boxers he couldn't help but feel guilty that he had such love in his life while Miles was gone. Gone and definitely forgotten in the eyes of the club. How could someone love him right now? After everything he'd done today?

Roxy called Chibs and VLin back in and they helped Juice into bed and Roxy pushed a couple of pillows under his knees.

Leaving Juice alone in the bedroom Roxy showed Chibs and VLin out, but Chibs hung back at the door.

"Listen, if you need anything, any help with him in the night, you just call me. Ok?" He looked at her with concerned eyes.

"Of course Chibs. I think he'll be ok though once we've eaten and he's had some weed."

Chibs gave her a disapproving look. "Must be careful. I know the lads enjoys his weed but it might not be the best thing right now."

Roxy just nodded her agreement. Chibs knew Juice smoked a LOT of weed, usually supplying half the club, but where they took it as a social tipple Juice took it like tobacco. What Chibs didn't know however is that he was self medicating for his OCD and oftentimes, without it, he wouldn't be able to function. Roxy knew it was unhealthy, but it worked for him and right now she wasn't going to mess with his system.

Juice quietly ate the spaghetti and Roxy dosed him up with oxy and handed him a joint before snuggling next to him in the bed.

"So what happened today JC?" She caressed his shoulder.

Juice exhaled and took another hit of his joint while he worked up the courage to tell her. He quietly explained how everything went down before admitting his guilt at killing Miles.

"Baby you did the right thing in the end. He was going to kill you."

"I know but it doesn't feel right. If it were me in that position I would have wanted my chance to explain."

"And you were going to give him it before he panicked and went off on you. Plus baby he was a rat. It's what would have happened anyway. Perhaps worse if I know Happy like I think I do. It's what the club does."

He was mildly irritated at that comment. Sure she understood club way of life when it came to this but when it came to their earlier argument she didn't.

It was as if Roxy could read his mind. "I'm sorry about earlier. I don't know why it annoyed me so much. It's just you're always so good to me and when you got snappy... I dunno." Juice remained silent. "I guess I just see how my dad treats my Ma and I don't wanna go down the same route." She grew serious now. "You're a good guy Juan Carlos. That's why I want this with you, that's why I'm tied to the club, that's why I'm here now." She bent in to give him a kiss. She could sense his lacklustre response and pulled back.

"I don't deserve it."

xxx xxx

The next morning Roxy woke up early, disturbed by Juice's suddenly loud snoring. She made her way quietly round the room, picking up what she needed to have a shower and get dressed.

After she'd finished her quick shower she dressed for comfort today, knowing there'd be a lot to do and help Juice with. She threw on her black skinny jeans, a black tank top and her red flannel shirt, before piling her hair up into a bun.

She made her way back through the bedroom, Juice was still sleeping so she grabbed his dirty, bloody clothes from the laundry basket and took them through to clean.

Once she'd hand cleaned them in the special cleaning solution she threw them in the washing machine and made her way to the kitchen.

She knew he liked this fancy omelette with spinach and bacon in it so she set about making it for him.

Juice woke up hearing Roxy pottering around in the kitchen. He groaned as he pulled himself up and helped himself to two more oxy. He'd spent most of the night watching Roxy sleep and thinking about everything. He didn't deserve her. He hated himself for what he'd done to Miles and felt guilty that he had Roxy taking care of him like some prince. He was a criminal and a murderer. He'd listed all the reasons why he didn't deserve Roxy and why perhaps she was paying for his sins. They'd never be able to have a family, he'd never be able to give her that because he did not deserve it.

Roxy came bustling into the room with his breakfast so he could eat it in bed. She fussed over him making sure he was feeling ok, had his painkillers etc.

She fawned over him as she changed his dressing and he was becoming increasingly frustrated. When she insisted on helping him dress himself he finally lost his patience.

"I can do it myself."

"I know. But I'm here to help you." She smiled at him.

The loving smile just made the hatred he felt to himself on the inside switch to hatred on the outside. He knew she didn't deserve it but he felt like shit and he didn't care.

"I don't need you to help me." He ground out.

"Ok, ok. Jeez." Roxy backed off with her hands up in surrender. "Lemme just get the bed ready for you again."

"Stop fussing." He struggled to pull his track pants on seeing as he couldn't balance properly. He stumbled and Roxy caught him just in time. But her warm touch just drove him into himself more. He shrugged her hand off.

"I'm sorry. I just want to help you."

"Well I've told you I don't need your help!" He snapped.

Roxy didn't recognise the look in his eyes when she looked down to him. "Fine. Suit yourself. I just want to look after you."

"Like I said. I'm not a fucking invalid so go make yourself useful elsewhere."

Roxy just glared at him. "Fine. I'll go to the garage. Try not injure yourself more. Jackass."

With that she turned on her heel and left. Juice couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief that she was gone. Now he could just suffer in silence.

xxx xxx

Roxy stormed across the lot from her car and into the office of TM, slamming the door behind her. They hadn't opened for the day yet so it was just the boys in the garage setting up for the day. Rat looked relieved to have Roxy here, that meant he didn't have to look after the office.

Tig watched her stomp around the office while he opened his toolbox. Something was definitely wrong with his little girl. He was feeling extra fatherly today, something he wished he could share with Dawn, but she was obviously only using him.

Sighing, he placed the wrench he was holding back into its spot, before moving across the bay towards the office.

Roxy's head snapped up at the sound of the internal door from the garage bays opening, ready to tell whoever it was to fuck off. But when she saw Tig she stopped.

"What's going on with you? Thought you'd be at home looking after the Juicer." His crystal eyes were filled with concern over the girl who may as well have been his daughter.

Roxy snorted. "I should be. But he's being a grumpy jackass. So here I am."

Tig sighed heavily and sat down on the seat behind the desk, propping his feet on the desk.

"Baby you gotta cut him some slack. He had to kill a brother yesterday. A thieving rat brother, but a brother none the less. It's gunna fuck with his head."

Roxy knew he was right and sat down on the client sofa. "It's not just that Tig. He's been getting more and more like this since you guys got out. I mean you saw him at the wedding and it's just got worse and worse. I know I put him through hell in there. Maybe this is just my karma." She put her head in her hands. "But I'm worried about him Tig. Like you say it's gunna fuck with his head. And he won't let me in."

Tig got up and moved to sit on the sofa next to her. "Look just give him a few days, keep out his hair, just be there if he needs. He'll come round baby. I promise." He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close before placing a kiss on the top of her head.

"Thanks Tiggy." Roxy sighed contentedly. "So where's Dawn?"

"Ah, she's gone again."

"What happened?"

"Just wanted money. But she'll be back."

Roxy looked up to him then. "You deserve more than that Tig."

He was quiet for a second. "Nah baby. I was a dick to their witch of a mother. And wasn't good to them. But as long as she feels like she can still come to me I don't mind."

"Mmm." She wrapped her arm round his waist and hugged him. "Love you."

"Love you too, girl."

xxx xxx

Things hadn't gone much better when Roxy got home that evening. Juice had made his way to the living room and was playing video games. By the looks of it he hadn't eaten anything that day, not good when he'd probably been taking oxy and smoking weed all day. Then she saw the empty beer bottles and knew for a fact that nothing good would come between them that evening. She offered him dinner, which he refused, so after she finished she decided to head to bed. He flinched ever so slightly when she'd kissed his forehead. She almost thought she imagined it. But then he didn't come to bed all night.

Roxy had been waiting up for him, just wanting a cuddle but eventually passed out around 2am. When she got up in the morning for work he was already out. His kutte was gone from the front door and his gun and knife were missing from his bedside drawer.

Although he could walk, Roxy was sure Jax and Clay wouldn't call him for club stuff so early. But there was no other explanation for his absence.

Roxy worried more about him as she threw out the neatly ordered, empty beer bottles. That wasn't a good sign. His stubbed out joints and cigarettes were also neatly lined up in the ash tray.

Roxy's stomach was in knots as she made her way to TM. She asked around and found out Juice had been sent to check on things at the warehouse, sending him back to the scene of the crime was probably not Clay's best move.

xxx xxx

Juice had asked Jax what he needed to do the night before and when he was tasked with warehouse duty he decided to get up super early. He snuck around the bedroom gathering his clothes without waking Roxy. The more he could avoid her the better he felt. The guilt wasn't as heavy then.

As he drove down the dirt track to the warehouse he couldn't help but replay the scenes from the other day through his mind. After parking up he told Phil he needed to chuck a piss, but he wandered around, stumbling on Miles' unmarked grave. The only marker being the freshly turned earth.

Juice stared at the mound of dirt and began to recite the Act of Contrition. Despite his mother's severe drug addiction she thought going to church regularly would save her soul. Juice and his sister didn't mind, the nuns there knew their situation and when they were little would give them food and clean clothes. As he grew older, however, he stopped going with his mum and when she left he abandoned it altogether. What God could there be that would just ignore him like that and leave him on his own. Now he found peace in the familiar words and the desperate meaning behind them. It eased his guilt only slightly as he thought of all the mistakes and hurt he'd caused in his two short weeks since being released.

xxx xxx

Tara and Gemma rolled into the lot with Chibs and the boys, Tara looking panicked and toting her med bag.

Roxy jumped up out of the office and crossed the lot to find out what was going on.

"Everyone ok?"

Gemma pulled her daughter in for a hug. "Yeah baby everyone's whole, from our side anyway. Guys are bringing Alvarez here, he was shot at some meet this morning."

"Shit."

"Yeah. And that's just the half of it."

Just then the tow truck and a couple of blacked out SUVs pulled into the lot and there was a bustle of activity as the Sons and Mayans helped Alvarez into the clubhouse. Roxy watched on with concern as the Mayan President groaned in pain with the movements. Tara took off after them ready to patch him up.

Unser had also pulled into the lot and approached Gemma and Roxy with caution as he watched the goings on.

"Jesus, what happened?"

"Bad morning." Gemma handed Unser a piece of paper, Roxy leaning over to see what it said, her heart dropping as she read it.

"Jesus."

"Someone left it in her car. See what you can find out about that."

"Yeah. Is the club watching her?"

"Yeah she won't leave our sight." She turned to Roxy. "You too baby. No where alone, ok?"

Roxy nodded. Stunned. What else could possibly happen right now?


	55. Chapter 55

**A/N: once again thank you for your responses. I'm glad you're enjoying the path I'm taking. Hopefully I've done this chapter justice. It was sad to write :(**

Roxy was helping Tara and Chibs set up for Alvarez, grabbing towels, water, whisky, and the like, when Juice arrived back at the clubhouse. Chibs had called him back seeing as they were on lockdown.

He noticed what was going on when he arrived but Clay wanted him to head back to the warehouse with some guns, just in case.

He was getting things out of the gun safe in the Chapel while Tara left to disinfect, he couldn't help but overhear the conversation.

"Found a death threat in her car." Clay informed Alvarez.

"Death threat?" Juice repeated to himself.

"Shit." Commented Alvarez.

"What?" Clay asked.

"Been hearing rumours. Galindo lost a hit squad last week. Found em butchered and burned."

"So you're saying this could be the other cartel? Lobo Sonora?" Tig questioned.

"Nah this was some turf shit that came over the border Romeo would have given us the heads up, no?" Roxy looked to her dad as he spoke. She was sure she shouldn't be hearing this. But she just kept doing what she was doing.

Juice looked towards Roxy, panicked that she could be caught in the crossfire. Like she had said when Donna died, she would always be a target of the club and her relationship with him just kept her close.

He looked between Roxy and Clay as he spoke. "Targeting families is what drug cartels do." He knew this for a fact from his time spent working with the mob in New York. He'd heard all about their dealings with a cartel. And it wasn't pretty.

Tara walked in just as the words came out of his mouth and Clay shook his head. Luckily Chibs' phone ringing broke the awkward silence. Juice finished collecting the guns while the others talked on the phone. Chucky burst in a few minutes later to inform them of the sheriffs presence. He was wanting to talk with Tara.

Roxy followed him out of the room to talk.

"Hey baby you didn't come to bed last night?" Roxy grabbed his arm to try stop him but he kept moving, unable to look her in the eyes.

"Yeah I know. Look I gotta see what's happening." He kissed her quickly on the forehead before stepping out into the lot. A confused Roxy behind him.

Roxy stood next to her mother as Tara and the sheriff finished up.

Roosevelt turned to Juice before leaving. "Mr. Ortiz, tour PO called. Wants you to take a piss test."

Juice rolled his eyes, knowing it was just a front for the blackmail. "When?"

"Now. Follow me back." He turned to get into his car and go.

Juice turned to Clay and Chibs. "This is bullshit."

"Go. Last thing in the world we want is this prick coming back here. See what you can find out about Miles." Clay ordered.

Juice nodded and headed over to his bike. Roxy tried to catch up to him but he ignored her and rode off. Leaving Roxy standing dejected.

Clay spoke up from behind her. "Just leave him. When he gets back later you just be there for him." He patted her shoulder as he moved past.

Great, Roxy thought. Just wait around till he needs me. Doesn't matter what I need.

xxx xxx

"Your two days are up." Roosevelt barked as soon as Juice entered the room.

"Yeah... I told you there's nothing for me to sample." Juice stared blankly at Roosevelt. "So can I go now?"

"You realise I'm gunna have a talk to Clay?"

"You realise I don't give a shit."

Roosevelt sighed at Juice's tone. "We know about the Coke. Miles so much as confirmed that. But I'm gunna assume you know that? He appears to be out of town."

"Mm. Family emergency."

"Well you can go Ortiz. But stay close."

xxx xxx

Roxy was hiding out in Juice's room. The garage was really quiet and Dog was watching the office seeing as there was so much club shit going on. Clay wanted Roxy to hang around the clubhouse until Juice could look after her again. Although Clay had a feeling who put the threat in Tara's car, he couldn't be sure. So to be on the safe side his daughter was on watch as well.

There was a quiet knock at the door and Tara's small voice asked permission to enter.

Roxy sat up on the bed and motioned for Tara to join her.

"What's wrong?"

Tara sighed heavily. "This." She motioned in the direction of the clubhouse. "The cartel! Shit. Did you know about that?"

Roxy nodded slowly. "Yeah. Not in detail though. But it was a hard thing for JC to get right with."

Tara hummed. "I don't know if I can get right with the drugs Roxy."

"None of our business really."

"How can you see it like that?"

"Just do. No other way to see it. Trust me. I've tried."

Tara decided on a change of topic. Roxy wouldn't give her the reassurance she needed. Roxy would be fine to bring a family up in this life. "So what's with you and Juice?"

"I don't even know Tara. I tried to like 'be there for him' after this Miles thing but he's just pushing me away. And I'm really worried because he's letting his OCD take over now but he won't let me help him."

Tara sighed and brushed Roxy's hand with hers. "It'll come good babe. I promise."

xxx xxx

Juice went for a ride to clear his head before heading back to the clubhouse and as he turned into the lot, true to his word, Roosevelt was leaving. Juice assumed he was having his chat with Clay.

Luckily Juice knew nothing would come of it and he was safe. But what if he hadn't told the club? What if he wasn't safe? Roosevelt was playing a very dangerous game with people's lives and it just further solidified the guilt he felt over Miles' death.

Juice hopped off his bike in a foul mood, any little bit of good his ride had done was cancelled out the minute he turned into the lot and saw Roosevelt.

Chibs came over trying to talk to him about something to do with Bobby. He wasn't focussed he just wanted to go to his dorm and shut everyone and every thing out. His mind had been on overdrive the past two days and it was getting harder and harder to drown out the intrusive thoughts that came with increased anxiety. Hell, he'd had to ride back past one of the street signs twice because he wasn't sure he'd read each word properly. Then if he wasn't riding exactly in the centre of his lane he just lost it.

Chibs' voice just blended in with all the other noise in his head as he walked straight past him into his dorm. He unlocked the door and felt ready for the peace and quiet to hit him. But then he saw Roxy laid out on his bed, looking perfect as ever. He almost gave in to his heart to walk across the room and just bury his head into her neck so he could feel her warm, soft body close to his. But then his head jumped and kicked in and she just felt out of place in his room. She was upsetting the order. It was supposed to be quiet in here.

"What are you doing here?" He asked bluntly.

"Oh. I was just waiting for you. Clay told me to stay in the clubhouse."

"So you let yourself in to my room?" He stood like a statue in the door frame, unable to enter the room while she was in it. He didn't know why.

Roxy's face fell slightly. "Yeah. Sorry. I just wanted to wait for you. See how you were. Thought we might be able to have some time together."

"I don't want-" Juice's retort was cut short by Chibs' interruption.

"Clay wants to see ye boy. Chapel." He looked between the two, knowing he'd interrupted something.

Juice nodded and slowly, and silently, made his way down the hall, not saying another word to Roxy.

"Everything ok?"

"I have no idea Chibs."

"Come with me. We'll grab a drink."

xxx xxx

Juice entered the chapel and Clay asked him to shut the door and sit down. He made his way to his usual seat but Clay motioned to the one usually reserved for Tig.

"Most days this life is just riding round. Getting shit done. Some days it's more than that. Some days we ask our guys to do shit very few men could do. That's what this means." Clay slid a 'Men of Mayhem' patch over to Juice, who watched on with wide eyes. The pit in his stomach grew heavier as he let his fingers graze over the embroidered letters. "Way you handled the Russians. This hard thing with Miles. Way you look after my daughter like a real Old Man. I'm proud of you."

He couldn't feel any worse then than at the mention of Roxy. "Thanks."

"But now you need to put it all behind you. You understand me?"

Juice nodded and Clay moved to stand.

"Hey... You earned this. I love you son. You're part of my family now." Clay gave him a hug.

"I love you too." Juice mumbled into Clay's kutte as he tried to stop the tears from spilling out of his glassy eyes.

"Now head back up to the warehouse. Tacoma should be there by now. But you just keep em on their toes."

xxx xxx

Roxy had been sitting at the bar with Chibs downing shots of vodka while he had Whisky. She could see Juice and her dad talking through the window into the chapel. She couldn't see Juice's facial expressions but Clay passed something over to Juice and the exchange ended in a hug. She thought this would mean something positive but when Juice exited the chapel he didn't even look at her. He just went straight down the hall to the dorms. Roxy was going to go after him but Chibs sensed the boy needed some time alone to get his head straight. Choosing to pull Roxy away to help him tidy up the garage so Juice could have some peace was probably the worst mistake he made.

xxx xxx

Juice knew he had to get to the warehouse, and the walls in his bedroom were closing in around him, but he just felt like he couldn't move. He was fixated on the patch.

Eventually he tore his eyes away, collected his small sewing kit, and left the room. He held his breath as he entered the barroom and released it when he realised Roxy and Chibs weren't there. He moved his way swiftly past the few croweaters who were hanging around and out to his bike.

Roxy jumped up from her seat in the office when she heard a bike start up. She knew it was Juice. She tried calling out to him but he didn't even look back as he sped out of the lot. Chibs came over and placed a hand on her shoulder as she watched him leave.

"He'll be ok love."

Before Roxy could respond, Tig called Chibs over from the clubhouse. So he gave her one more squeeze before leaving her alone wondering where the hell Juice was going and why he wouldn't talk to her.

xxx xxx

Juice pulled up at the warehouse but didn't go in. He couldn't face any other people right now. His mind was still running away with him and he just couldn't stand it. He could barely focus when Clay was talking earlier, everything in his head was too loud. It was like a buzzing.

He found himself walking through the trees towards Miles' unmarked grave. He sat under the tree to sew on his Men of Mayhem patch. The repetitive nature of sewing helped him order his thoughts and focusing on making sure the stitches were even made him able to think straight.

And the thought that calmed his disordered mind was simple. A plan which would end all the confusion, the guilt, and heart rending pain. Roxy wouldn't understand. But in the end she'd be better off without his insane bullshit in her life.

xxx xxx

Roxy sat around the clubhouse as everyone but the members left. Rat was sent to watch Tara, Phil on Gemma, and Roxy was left waiting behind for Juice. He was supposed to be coming back for an urgent vote.

Waiting at the bar with Tig and Bobby Roxy could tell there was tension between the members as her dad flitted back and forth. But she just downed some more vodka and was slowly finding herself drunk. She had tried to call Juice a couple of times but both his personal and current burner just rang out. She figured if he was busy with club stuff he wouldn't answer her called ID. That and he seemed to be in some sort of huff with her.

That worried Roxy most. His behaviour had changed drastically from being in prison and Roxy knew his OCD was becoming unmanageable. She was trying to help but he just kept pushing her away. Chibs and Tig and Clay all said to give him space, but Roxy knew mental health and she knew he needed help.

Her heart started pounding in her chest when Chibs came back to the bar to let them know he couldn't get a hold of Juice either. He never showed up at the warehouse.

Tig saw the concern on Roxy's face and squeezed her leg in reassurance. Clay called VLin out from behind the bar and demanded he take Roxy back to her and Juice's house and stay with her till further notice.

VLin nodded and headed back to the Prospects' dorm room to collect some stuff. Tig took the opportunity to comfort Roxy seeing as Clay just made his way into the chapel, slamming the doors behind him.

"C'mon. He's probably at home stoned out his mind."

"I sure hope so Tiggy. He's not ok."

"None of us are baby."

xxx xxx

As Juice carried the heavy tow chain back to the tree he felt oddly at peace. He didn't count his steps or watch the placement of his feet like he had on the way there. Nor did the sound in his head seem loud. Everything was calm and quiet as he shouldered the chain and climbed the tree.

He said a silent prayer as he fixed the chain round his branch.

Thinking back to happier times with the club he smiled before his mind wandered to Roxy. His perfect girl, the girl who was paying the price for his sins, his wrong doings. He'd taken lives and there was no way he'd ever be gifted with a baby because of it. Roxy would suffer because of him. And it wasn't just Roxy suffering, Juice was suffering too. This wasn't the first time he'd considered something like this. He'd allowed fate to decide for him on more than one occasion over the years. This, however, was the first time he'd purposefully acted on his thoughts, and he felt oddly in control for the first time in a long time.

He just prayed Roxy would understand, out of anyone she knew how his mind worked, both from a girlfriend's point of view and probably a counsellor's too.

He just hoped she found the same peace he had in this moment.


	56. Chapter 56

**A/N: I'm so so glad everyone is enjoying it. Thank you for your reviews and thoughts! It's like the saddest storyline on any show I've watched and I agree with docsAngel I just wanna wrap him up and hug him** **too.**

Roxy let herself into their house knowing that he wasn't going to be there. VLin stood awkwardly behind her, waiting further instruction on what to do.

"C'mon in VLin. Make yourself comfortable. I got a feeling you're gunna be here a while." She motioned to the sofa and made her way to the bedroom to see if Juice had been home. Nothing had been moved.

She made VLin comfortable before heading back to hide away in their room again.

Roxy changed into some shorts and one of Juice's tshirts before climbing into bed and curling herself around his pillow. After a few minutes she decided to text him. Wherever he was he had his phone, one of the times he had ended the call rather than let it ring out, so he'd maybe read a message if she sent it.

'JC, I just want you to know I love you and I'm waiting at home for you. Please come by when you can. I miss you. xxxxxx'

xxx xxx

Juice fell from the branch with a massive thud, and for a second he couldn't hear, see, or feel anything. After a few moments and with a rush of oxygen to his brain, his eyes opened, taking in the outlines of the darkened trees around him. Eventually he began to feel the throbbing pain of his shot leg as it radiated up his body, the ringing in his ears slowly subsiding from a dull roar to a quiet whistle.

Then he heard the sound of bikes approaching. "Shit." He scrambled to get up, which was hard with his leg throbbing, and pulled the chain off his neck.

He pulled his hoodie up to cover his neck and made his way back towards his bike and the truck.

"Juicy boy! Where are ye?" Juice heard Chibs' voice as he exited the trees.

"Wha's all this?" He gestured to the leaves and dirt on Juice's hoodie.

"You take a spill?" Tig chuckled.

"Yeah, Oswald man, got all these damn security chains on these back roads." He tried to play off as Chibs inspected the bruise on his neck. "What's up?" He tried changing the subject.

"Vote man."

"Drugs?" Juice questioned.

"Nah, leadership." Tig responded.

They moved to mount their bikes but Tig had another request. "You needa let Roxy know you're ok. She's worried bro."

Juice nodded. Tig was right, his close call had cleared his mind, all those thoughts had gone away and were replaced with guilt at putting Roxy through this, even though she didn't know it yet.

He pulled out his phone as he started his bike. He looked at the 10 missed calls, some Roxy, some Opie, before opening the unread message. His heart dropped more when he read what she said. She was well within her right to be pissy with him for ignoring her, but she had just said how she'd be there for him and loved him.

So he sent her what he hoped would be a placating response.

'Sorry babe. Been caught up, club shit. I love you too. I'm sorry for everything. Xx'

xxx xxx

When the boys got back to the clubhouse the vote had been postponed to the following morning. It was too late and they were still waiting on Happy.

Juice snuck away to his dorm to check himself out in the mirror. He stared at the ring of blue and purple round his neck. There's no way he could let Roxy see this. Not tonight. He decided to go for a shower, then ice his neck, and stay the night here.

After he'd snuggled down into his sheets, which smelled intoxicatingly like Roxy, he sent her a message.

'I'm sorry babe, gunna be a late one, I'll crash at the clubhouse. I'll make it up to you, I promise. Love you.'

Roxy sent him a 'good night' and 'love you' in response and Juice lay in the dark waiting for the slow buzz in his mind to calm down enough to sleep. Although the thoughts of self harm were gone, and replaced with relief, he still had the guilt and self-hatred swirling quietly in the back of his mind.

He rummaged in his drawer for his joint bottle and pulled one out. Propping himself up in bed he let the smoke take over his mind and the tears run down his face.

xxx xxx

VLin drove Roxy back to the clubhouse in time for her to open up the office like she'd promised Gemma, she'd looked around for Juice but they were already in church so she made her way to the office while VLin and Phil cleaned one of the cars out in the lot.

After she'd started the computer and took the phone off answer machine mode she headed out into the lot for the smoke. Roxy leant on one of the cars near the garage, too lazy to walk across to one of the picnic tables, plus she had to listen out for the phone. Dog was the mechanic on opening today so it was just him in the garage. Roxy was enjoying the peace and was ready to talk to Juice when church was over. Given his messages last night she knew he was ready to talk.

Roxy chucked her butt on the ground and stomped it out, she was just about to turn and cross over to the office when she heard tyre squeals and automatic gun fire. Spinning around she saw the truck firing at the clubhouse. Her heart hammered in her chest and she did what she knew she had to do and dropped to the floor. Luckily she was shielded by the car as she waited for the shots to end. It seemed to go on forever when she heard the sound of someone firing back at the truck and some yelling before the sound of tyres squealing out of the lot again.

Roxy's heart pounded in her chest and she couldn't get up from her position on the asphalt behind the car. Hands over her ears she lay in shock until Dog came rushing over and placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Roxy, love, you ok?"

Roxy jumped at his touch, but relaxed when she opened her eyes and realised it was him. She slowly removed her hands from her ears and stood up with his help. Dog looked her over to check for any injuries as she trembled under his hands. He looked into her eyes carefully as he assessed her.

"Are you alright? Are you hurt?" His gruff voice cutting into Roxy's mind.

"Uh... I think so."

Dog pulled her in for a hug and that's when she heard Jax and Juice calling to her.

"Roxy!? Are you ok?" They both yelled.

Juice's heart hammered in his chest at the thought of losing Roxy or her being harmed even. He could tell physically she was ok as Dog held her, but he could see her trembling as he got closer.

Jax got there first and checked Roxy over before pulling her in for a hug and a quick kiss, then walking off with Dog to check out the garage.

As soon as Jax let her go Roxy leapt into Juice's arms and buried her face in his chest. Juice wrapped his arms round her shoulders and stroked her back as she cried. After a few minutes her sobs died down and he kissed the top of her head. Clay's voice cut through the moment as he called for Juice and Jax to come back over.

Roxy kept herself buried against his chest as he sighed. "I gotta deal with this. Love you babe. Be safe today."

"I love you too. And just be careful." She pleaded before she let go of his kutte.

Juice breathed a sigh of relief as turned away from her. She had been in too much shock to notice his bruise, which was mostly hidden by his collar and kutte anyway. He heard Dog comforting her more as Gemma pulled into the lot.

Juice didn't hear the exchange between Gemma and Clay but he saw her eventually go to Roxy and take over from Dog. The mother and daughter pair moved to a picnic bench to have a smoke while Juice watched on. He was desperate to go over there and offer her the comfort she so clearly wanted from him. And hoped for the same in return.

However he was snapped from his thoughts by Chibs. "Juice, you're with me." He said as he hit Juice's chest, it was obvious he'd been told more than once. Juice shook his head and nodded while following Chibs into the van.

xxx xxx

Things on the lot were hectic and probably would be for the rest of the day so Roxy and Gemma had been told to make themselves scarce. Roxy was still shaking as Gemma took her into town to get more things for the garden party that night.

"Hey, baby, smoke this, you're making me nervous." Gemma handed her daughter a joint as they made their way back to the clubhouse.

Roxy complied and finished the joint as they pulled into the lot. High and somewhat comforted she made her way to Juice's dorm to wait out the rest of the day, trying to avoid the commotion out in the clubhouse. But she soon fell asleep, high and relaxed.

xxx xxx

Juice had watched on, numb, as Happy tortured the shooter for information. Normally he would have been sick to his stomach at something so barbaric but this guy had shot at his girl. He came so close to losing Roxy with his actions the night before and then today she was almost ripped from him again. It was like some sort of sign to not take her for granted. So he didn't care as he listened to the Lobo Sonara member's grunts of pain.

Things got more complicated as the day went on and they ended up having to set a plan for that evening, which meant he wouldn't see Roxy again. He was frustrated with that as he just needed to be with her, to calm himself, but at the same time he was relieved. There would be no hiding his suicide attempt from her. She would know exactly what the bruise around his neck meant. He knew he should talk to her about it but to be honest he didn't have the strength. The strength to explain himself or put her through that.

xxx xxx

Roxy was dragged out of Juice's bed late in the afternoon to accompany her mum and Tara to the garden party. It was the last thing she wanted to do after her near miss that morning but her mum assured her the boys were safe and had important club business to attend to that night so she wouldn't be missing out on seeing him.

Although Roxy was glad to have seen Juice and knew he was physically ok she knew he was battling some serious demons and she wanted to check in with him. But that wouldn't be happening any time soon so she reluctantly accompanied her mum and watched dad give a speech and donation. She knew about the club's need to make Hale look bad as mayor so she enjoyed the show her dad put on.

After the garden party her dad sent her home again with VLin. There was no way she was to stay at the clubhouse after the morning's shoot out. She didn't blame him for that, but she had wanted to wait around for Juice. Clay said he would see him and send him home to her when they were done so she let VLin drive her home so she could wait out the night for Juice.

xxx xxx

Chibs had been rather worried about Juice during their little cartel sting. The boy's head was all over the shop and Chibs had to get his attention and head back into the game more than once.

When they'd finished they were all ordered to go home for rest and Clay told Juice Roxy was waiting for him at home, but when they got to the van Juice told Chibs he was going to the warehouse seeing as he wouldn't sleep that night.

Chibs was starting to think Juice's alone time wasn't doing him any good and the suspicious bruise on his neck was not putting his mind at ease, so he decided to follow him.

Juice was trying to wrap up the chain when he heard leaves crinkling behind him and jumped when Chibs emerged from the shadows.

"You scared me man." Juice faked a laugh to hide his nervousness.

Chibs looked at the heavy silver chain on the forest floor as it glinted in the moonlight, slowly putting it together, his suspicions confirmed as he looked at the tears form in Juice's eyes.

He let anger take over him as he ran at Juice and tackled him to the floor. "Jesus! Jesus Christ! What did you do?!"

Juice just folded in on himself, completely ashamed and guilty and just let Chibs take his anger out on him as he broke down sobbing.

Chibs let go after a moment, frustration at the vulnerable young man in front of him rolling off of him in waves. He slowly sank down at the bottom of the tree, rubbing his hands over his head. What a mess.

After a few moments listening to Juice's sobs he calmed down and moved over to pull Juice up from the floor and into a fatherly embrace. "C'mon boy. C'mon." Letting him sob into his chest.

xxx xxx

Chibs messaged Roxy saying they were having issues again and made Juice stay at the clubhouse under his watchful eye. He knew Juice wasn't ready to face Roxy in this state, this late at night. And he had to talk to Jax about this.

So after a very quiet breakfast he pulled Juice over to the quiet garage and waited for Jax to come meet them.

The anxiety in the pit of Juice's stomach rolled at the thought of Jax knowing about this, then Roxy finding out. Nothing could be worse. What has he gotten himself into? Why was he so stupid?

He leaned solemnly against the support pole in the garage as Jax approaches them, unable to look him in the eye.

"What's going on?" Jax asked as he folded his sunglasses up.

"I need your advice, brother." Chibs said seriously.

Jax just gave him a questioning look and so Chibs moved forward to peel back the collar of Juice's kutte, revealing the dark purple mark, leaving Jax just as confused.

"What about it?" He looked at Juice. "Thought you caught it on a security chain at Oswald's?" He looked between the two men, confused, until he pieced it together. "Oh, shit Juice."

Juice still couldn't look either of his brothers in the eye, feeling worse at the sorrow in Jax's voice.

"I dunno what happened man... I guess doing the time... The Russians... Then, Miles... And everything with Roxy, the baby..."

"I don't know how to handle this." Chibs said to Jax.

Juice jumped in, knowing this could spark trouble with the club. "It was a mistake. I know that."

"Give us a minute." Jax asked Juice, who nodded and slowly made his way over to lean against a customer's car.

Jax and Chibs deliberated for a moment as Juice looked around the lot, worried about what Jax's response could be. As Chibs called him back over he saw Roxy's car pull into the lot followed by VLin on his bike. Shit, there's no way he'd be able to avoid her now. He reached Jax and Chibs as she parked her car.

"I'm gunna guess she doesn't know about this yet?" Jax asked Juice, who shook his head. "Shit bro. Look we've decided to keep this to ourselves for a bit, but you're gunna have to tell her."

Juice took in a sharp breath, nodding as Roxy made her way up to the trio, smiling her beautiful smile, eyes twinkling. Until she saw the looks on their faces, stopping dead in her tracks in front of them.

"What's wrong?" She asked quietly, Juice watching as a look of concern washed over her face.

Chibs sighed and pulled Juice's collar down again when he didn't respond. Juice was frozen to the spot, unable to look at anyone, especially Roxy. He could feel

The panic rising in his chest.

Roxy looked at the bruised with the same confused look Jax had at first, but she was quicker in putting together the pieces.

Roxy felt her throat close up and the shot of adrenaline jump through her body with the panic of her realisation. "No..." She said in an almost whisper, hands up as she backed away from the group.

When she was a few metres from the garage door she turned and ran towards the clubhouse. She needed to get far away from that situation and there was no way she could drive. Hands trembling she made her way down the dorm hall, and up the ladder to the roof.

The tears started streaming down her face as she fully came to terms with what she saw. He had tried to kill himself and for some reason it failed. The bruise around his neck an obvious sign that the failing in the plan was an unwanted outcome.

How could he do that? He promised her everything. A family. Love. Everything. And he'd almost taken all that from her.

Her mind was in overdrive as she sorted through all her thoughts. But she calmed slightly as she began to think of the situation from a counsellor's point of view.

She watched Juice trudge over from the garage to the clubhouse, obviously coming in search of her, and her heart dropped as he looked up to see her perched on the flat rooftop.

Roxy sucked up a deep breath, steeling herself for the conversation to come.


	57. Chapter 57

**A/N: I'm so so glad you're enjoying my changes to the storyline!**

Roxy wiped the remainder of her tears away as she heard Juice make his way up the ladder and across the roof. He sat down, quietly, next to her on the floor and hung his head down.

Roxy took a deep breath and turned to him, she slowly raised her hand and Juice flinched as she gently rubbed her thumb across the worst bruise on the left side of his neck.

After a moment she leaned into him and nuzzled his neck, whispering just by his ear, "please don't leave me."

Juice choked back a sob. "I don't want to."

They sat quietly for a few moments as Roxy continued to embrace him, eventually she pulled back and Juice yearned for her comfort. He grabbed her hand in his and squeezed it.

"When I broke up with you while you were in jail, it was because I convinced myself you'd be better off without me. I thought you'd get over me, find someone else and happily start a family with them." She looked at the scowl on his face. "We're you ever happy with my decision?"

"Not for a second. You're the only person I want all that with. You know that."

"So what happened here?"

Juice nodded knowingly, understanding her point. "I convinced myself the same thing."

"Well I'd never be better off, or happy, without you. Those 8 weeks after I broke up with you were the worst of my life babe. And I don't want that. I don't want to lose you for good." She teared up. "Please don't do that to me." Roxy couldn't help the sobs again as she clung onto Juice. "Why would you want to leave me?"

Juice let a few tears fall silently. "I don't. It wasn't that babe. Just all the stuff that's happened these last couple of weeks, piled on top of being inside. I just... It's killing me babe. I can't handle it all. Everything inside my head is out of control and I can't stop it no matter what I do. Every compulsion I do it and it doesn't make any difference. I just keep thinking if I do this or I do that it'll be ok. But it never is..." Juice kept rambling on and Roxy could tell he was close to a panic attack, he was talking really fast, and his breathing was shallow.

"It's ok baby, just take deep breaths. You're fine now, everyone's fine."

"It's not. Jax and Chibs know they know everything and they'll tell the club and then that'll be it you'll be gone and everything will be shit. I don't have anywhere else Roxy I don't have anyone else. Roosevelt made that clear bringing up my father. Fuck I don't even know the guy. He abandoned me like everyone else ever has and now he's here 30 years later doing the same shit all over again."

Roxy moved and swung her leg over so she was straddling him. Not in a sexual way, but so that she could be as close as possible to him. She took his face in her hands.

"Look at me JC. You will be fine. I will help you through this. Ok?" She waited for him to nod. "I'm not going to abandon you again. I promise. You're it for me. I'm not leaving now. We'll sort this out alright. But you need to see someone baby."

"No! I can't do that." He was exasperated. "I can just talk to you, you're a counsellor you can help me babe I can't talk to someone outside the club."

"Ok ok ok, I'll try my best." Roxy understood his reluctance to speak to someone outside of the club. She knew about OCD from her degree, but she wasn't a proper licensed psychologist. Her experience came from supporting clients with the programs psychs put in place for them. But she'd do what she could.

Juice looked up and into her crystal blue eyes that were glassy with unshed tears.

He already felt slightly more at peace than before. Why he has avoided her all this time he didn't know. He knew he didn't do well on his own. It's what led to all of this. He vowed from now on he has to talk to her. No matter what.

He pulled her hands down from his face. "I am sorry babe. I already feel better." He kissed her palm before bringing her hands down to their laps. Roxy leaned in to give him a soft kiss.

"So long as you talk to me we'll be ok."

Juice nodded and pulled her back for another kiss. "Ok."

xxx xxx

The couple made their way from the roof to Juice's dorm and wrapped themselves together to lay on his bed. Juice felt more at peace now than he had the last few days. He was happy to relax with her and questioned why he ever let his head talk him out of this those days ago. He let his guilt over Miles subside a little, the stress from the sheriff release and tried to ignore the nagging feeling from the Russians.

Eventually there was a knock at his door, disturbing the peace. Roxy had been dozing slightly and her eyes jerked open when Juice told whoever it was to come in.

"Hey we're headed out. Need you to stay behind and sweep the clubhouse and hard drives."

"Sure thing brother."

Jax was about to turn to leave but hesitated. "Just look after yourself bro. This is between us for now, but we gotta know you're in the game."

"Of course. I'm good." He tried to assure him.

"I got him Jax. Don't worry."

Jax nodded and left the couple in peace again.

"Suppose I should make a start." Juice moved to get up but Roxy pulled him back. She moved her lips to his in a soft kiss, Juice relaxed into it, slid his hand up into her hair and slipped his tongue gently into her mouth. Roxy moaned contentedly under him as she stroked the back of his head. After a few minutes Juice pulled back and rested his forehead on hers.

"I am sorry."

"I know."

"C'mon. You can help me sweep for bugs."

"How romantic." She giggled and rolled out from under him.

xxx xxx

Roxy was sweeping the glass from outside the shattered clubhouse windows as Juice carried things from the garage. Roosevelt pulled into the lot and made a beeline for Juice. Roxy dropped her broom and made her way over to them. She knew he was in a fragile state and all this black father bullshit the sheriff was playing had had a part to play in his suicide attempt and she'd be damned if she let it happen again.

"Your guys already left. Crime scene is down." Juice said tiredly as Roxy approached.

"Oh this is just a follow up. You have got to pick up the phone when I call you Juice." He dumped a bag on top of the box Juice was carrying. "Now there are six disposable burners in there and I know you're responsible for the club's communication." Juice looked over at Roxy as she stopped next to his side. Surprised that Roosevelt was saying this in front of her.

Juice picked the bag up and dropped it on the floor. "I'm done." He looked at Roosevelt. "I can't do this any more."

Roosevelt looked between the couple, Roxy was stroking his arm and glaring at Roosevelt who then flicked his eyes to Juice's neck taking in the bruising.

"Jesus Christ what did you do?"

"Tell them I'm done playing games." He walked past him towards the clubhouse, leaving Roxy standing behind.

"Stop messing him about and bringing up his demons. You don't have anything on him. You've done your damage. Now go and do your job the right way." She spat as she stormed off after Juice.

Roosevelt regretted everything he'd been involved in so far. The guilt was rolling over him and he hadn't even had the chance to tell Juice their new leverage. And he didn't think Potter was going to let this go.

xxx xxx

After he'd finished the sweep, Juice left to go into town to restock his supply from the weed shop. He had a feeling he'd need more in coming days. Roxy continued cleaning up in the lot with the prospects while she waited for him to come back to pick her up for the night. Gemma was busy in the office for once, allowing Roxy to have some time away. She felt bad that Roxy had been there the morning before when the shooting happened.

Tara pulled into the lot and stormed towards the office as Roxy watched on having a smoke. She could vaguely see her mum and Tara arguing through the office window before calming down and having a discussion.

Tara eventually left the office and was making her way back to the car when she spotted Roxy and changed direction.

"Hey Rox. How you doing since yesterday?"

"I'm ok. Just tired of cleaning now."

"Mmm. Not worried about all of this?"

"Yeah I'd be an idiot not to be. But I'm here and I'm not going anywhere any time soon so I gotta deal." She looked at Tara's disapproving face and decided to change the subject. "What was all that about before?"

"Ah. Nothing. Just Gemma being Gemma." Roxy wasn't convinced. "But I better go. See ya later."

She stopped to give Jax a quick kiss as he came over to sit by Roxy on the bench. Offering her another smoke.

"So how's he doing after all that?"

"Ok. I think he's over the whole swinging from a tree idea for now. Scared himself big time. But... He's still not right. He will be, I'll make sure of that."

Jax wrapped his arm around his sister and pulled her close. "You're too good for him."

"Jax..." Roxy let it hang in the air. "He's a good guy. And I love him. He just hasn't had the best run of it."

"Mmm. Just don't let him drag you down."

Roxy scoffed at his lack of compassion. She knew it stemmed from a lack of understanding of the intricacies of mental health. But Jax had a good life, sure there was a lot of trauma, his brother dying, father dying, all the shit with Abel. But through it all he had a strong and supportive family base to help him. Juice never had that so he never developed that same resilience.

Chibs approached before Roxy could get in an argument with her brother about it. "You guys seen Juice? Tried calling him but he's not picking up his cell."

"He went to the weed shop to get some stuff. Why?"

"Well he's not there and I can't get hold of him Rox."

"Shit. You don't think..." Jax started, looking at Chibs.

"No Jax. I told you. He's probably riding and can't hear his phone. He'll be back."

Chibs and Jax shared another look. Not seeming convinced.

xxx xxx

Juice was picked up by Roosevelt outside the weed shop and told to ride down to the station. When he made his way inside, Roosevelt brought him through to the back of the station, through a key coded door and into some green room.

There was a guy there in a brown leather jacket who greeted him with an air of nonchalance. "Hello, Juan Carlos. Lincoln Potter. I'm a big fan."

Juice just glared at him. "What the hell is this?"

"I'm so glad you asked." Potter started as he made his way past Juice.

Juice followed quietly as Potter led them to another key coded door and swung it open. "After you sir."

Juice's heart stopped as the door revealed a bustling war room with pictures of all of SAMCRO on the wall along with a number of connected organisations.

"Oh, shit." Juice mumbled as he continued scanning the walls, noticing his mug shot alongside Otto's underneath a label saying 'Plan B'.

"Have you ever seen the inside of a RICO operation?"

Juice ignored Potter as his eyes landed on some security camera photos of Roxy, in a bar, with another guy's hands on her waist, he recognised the guy as a Mayan, but he wasn't wearing a kutte. She was smiling at him with a drink in her hand. He had no idea when the photo was taken but it was some time recently, he could tell because of her hairstyle. The photos were lined up around a second photo of him with a photo of some bar he knew was in Stockton, probably the on Roxy was in. On the other side of his picture of his father. This must be their portion of the brainstorm wall to get Juice to cooperate.

He didn't know where the anger came from but he leapt at Roosevelt as he let out a yell and just laid into him, letting out all the frustrations he was feeling. It was obvious Roosevelt was in on all of this. Not only had he rubbed his piece of shit father in his face but now he was trying to ruin his relationship too. The one good thing in his life and it seemed to be a lie too.

Potter watched on with glee. He knew Roxy was one of the reasons he didn't take their bait the first time. She was his main tie to the club, he probably would flip on them when he knew the leverage they had over her. It also helped if he could put some doubt into the air that could ruin that relationship.

xxx xxx

Juice had been cuffed and left in a holding cell for an hour before Potter made his way in.

"We've been on this RICO operation for almost two years. Started with the Russians, and it's ending with the Sons of Anarchy. We're turning Otto Delaney. He'll give us past criminal activities. That coupled with the MC's ongoing relationship with the cartel will give us out historical pattern of organised crime." Juice stared blankly at him. "I have enough to shut down every charter from here to Belfast."

"No. You don't. Or you wouldn't be standing here."

Potter considered for a moment before replying. "I want the Real IRA." He moved to sit on the bench opposite Juice. "I can collect you and the Mexicans without issue, but the clandestine Irish, even with the help of Scotland Yard and Interpol will be impossible to hurt at home. They will slither back into their secret snake holes, and the source of all my woes will still be at large."

"I don't know where they are. Never met them."

Potter ignored him. "MI5 intelligence has confined the Irish Kings are planning a trip stateside. Most likely to accompany a shipment. But I know it's about a face to face with the cartel. Old school protocol. You're going to find out when and where that handshake happens."

Juice scoffed, he had no reason to help this guy. What made him think he'd just hand over the info. "That's above my pay grade."

"Well then I suggest you apply yourself." He smiled at Juice. "That's if you want your pretty little girlfriend to stay out of Stockton's lady prison."

"What?" This must be about her photos.

Potter stood to address Juice now. "Oh. Those photos in there of Roxanna Morrow having a lovely night with a Mayan MC member? They were taken the same night he vanished. Assumed dead. She was the last one to be seen with him. I'm sure you don't want us poking around and investigating that little affair? Sons President's daughter seen courting a former rival MC's member before he went missing... Doesn't look good as a defence in court to me."

Juice's stomach tightened. What the hell had Roxy done?!

"If you give me information on the cartel-Irish sit down, I will extract the Sons from the RICO equation."

"You're just gunna let us walk?"

Potter sat next to Juice on his bench now. "No. But I won't use federal law to shut down your entire organisation."

"What happens to my club? And my Old Lady?"

Potter chuckled. "Some members of SAMCRO will have to pay for their involvement, but the Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club will survive. Your 'Old Lady' will continue to go about her life, as if her little affair never happened." Juice glared at Potter. "Maybe saving the reaper will be just the karmic balm your psychic neck would needs."

Juice hung his head. Guilt, shame, and anger washing through him at Potter's words.

Soon he was left alone in the room. Contemplating everything he had learned today. They already knew enough about the Club's shady dealings. So it wouldn't matter what Juice have them, in fact his cooperation was better for the club as it ensured some kind of immunity.

But Roxy, whatever she had done with that guy, whether she killed him or not, was going to lead to trouble. The pain at her betrayal cut him deep. He didn't know when those photos were taken and Potter had specifically been vague about it, but it didn't matter. She had still cheated on him. He knew she slept with Kozik, but Kozik was the one to tell him. They may have been broken up but that didn't matter. Now he was finding out there was another guy. A Mayan to boot.

Late that night he was taken by ATF agents to the holding cells in the Stockton federal facility. The whole ride over he didn't say anything. Just caught in his thoughts which were surprisingly calm as he deliberated.

When he was led to his cell he curled up on his side and hugged the pillow, this is when the overwhelming and intense thoughts took over and he spent the rest of the night swirling deeper and deeper into his mind.


	58. Chapter 58

**A/N: so so glad everyone is enjoying my changes to the storyline. I'll still be following the show but just with my own twist. Let me know any suggestions etc. Juice is still going through it so he's being a bit of a tool, but bear with him.**

Roxy had gone to sleep at her parents' house. There was no sign of Juice, not answering his phone, couldn't find his bike anywhere. Last he'd been seen was at Clear Passages buying weed, then he vanished. Roxy had a bad feeling that he'd taken the weed and gone off somewhere stupid. But he had assured her that morning he was going to be ok and was past the thoughts of harming himself.

She'd gone early to TM to see if he'd been back and also to open up the garage, seeing as her mum was in a huff about Tara taking the boys off to Oregon and Jax going with her. She'd had a bit of a rant to Roxy the night before that Tara was trying to take the boys away from her. Roxy had other things on her mind and didn't really care.

When she pulled into the lot, a quick glance down the line of bikes showed no sign of Juice. But Opie was there so she went to investigate.

"Any sign of Juice?"

Opie looked at her worried face and felt sorry for her. Then jealous that Juice had her while things with Lyla were on the outs. "No, sorry. Everything ok?"

Roxy hummed noncommittally. "I don't know. He didn't come home last night and hasn't been in touch at all."

Opie didn't think Juice would cheat on Roxy but then again he didn't think he'd cheat on Lyla. "He'll turn up. Things have been a bit crazy recently. Probably just clearing his head."

That's what Roxy was worried about.

Around mid morning Roxy had given up on waiting for him and made her way into the clubhouse for a drink. She was going to need something stronger than tobacco to get her through the day.

As she walked in she overheard Chibs, Gemma, Bobby, and Clay talking.

"Roosevelt picked Juice up for another piss test yesterday, released him last night, but he hasn't been seen since."

"Check his old girlfriend. He usually goes there to lick his wounds."

"Precious stays in touch with her. I'll give her a call." Bobby turned around only to bump into Roxy. She stormed behind the bar and grabbed the bottle of tequila that was closest to her and knocked back a few swigs.

Gemma sighed and made her way over to stand next to her. "I'm sure he's ok baby."

"So long as he's not 'ok' with her." She slammed the bottle on the counter. "I dunno what's wrong with him Chibs." She turned to face him on the other side of the bar. "But I'm worried."

"He'll be around love."

"I hope so. And I hope for his sake he's not with this 'old girlfriend'."

xxx xxx

Juice had been sitting alone in his cell all day. The cell had a cable tv however which helped distract him for a while. He had the cartoon channel playing while he went over everything in his head, feeling steadily angrier as the day went on, and more betrayed by Roxy.

He jumped back to reality as he heard the buzzer signalling a visitor to his cell. Potter appeared in the door way.

"I'm a Hanna Barbera fan myself. Quick Draw McGraw was always my favourite."

Juice turned off the tv and threw the remote. His foul mood being made known to the unwelcome visitor. Potter's head snapped from the tv to Juice, as if surprised by his mood.

"My promise." He said as he placed the paperwork on the little ledge. "When we take down the Irish at this meet we only prosecute the club members present. But that's where it stops. I will not use RICO to dismantle the Sons. It's all there. Just awaiting my signature."

Juice continued to stare blankly at Potter. "I don't know anything about a meet."

"Then go and find out."

"You're just gunna let me out?"

"Yes. Here's the deal Juice-" he stepped closer. "We give you a cell phone; acts as a monitoring device. We know where you are 24/7. You check in every four hours. You don't check in, I get wind you exposed us... We rip this up-" he clanged the deal on the table- "come crashing in, I settle for the Mexicans and the Sons, and your 'Ol Lady' spends the rest of her childbearing years behind bars while SAMCRO and all its charters will fall to RICO." Juice had no idea how he knew about Roxy's childbearing issues, but he assumed that's what Potter was getting at. Potter faced the tv and turned it on. "I'll give you till after The Jetsons to decide. Then it's off the table."

With a flourish he left the room and Juice was alone with his thoughts once again.

xxx xxx

Roxy had spent most of her afternoon in the hospital waiting room with her mum and the boys. That was until her mum left her alone to go do something else. There had been a lot of tension between her and Clay, and Roxy hated being in the middle of it so she is was glad of the break.

There was still no sign of Juice so she was trying her best to kill time. As she watched Abel playing while holding Thomas in her arms her heart ached for Juice. The more seconds that ticked by the more she worried for Juice and wondered if they'd ever have a happy ending.

Roxy wished for herself that she'd be able to have a family. She'd always wanted one growing up. Sometimes she could imagine her little boys running round the clubhouse. Other times she dreamed of a life and family outside of the club. But she could go without. She'd be lonely but she could make do with friends.

Juice, on the other hand, he needed people. He gravitated towards any group who could offer him family. He was a lone soul and he had to be surrounded by love. He couldn't function without it. Roxy knew he needed to have a family of his own, people to love him, depend on him, someone that he could make himself useful to.

Chibs passed through on his way to tell Gemma something. Before Roxy could get the question out he shook his head. Still no sign.

xxx xxx

Juice had no choice but to sign the deal. He didn't really know what happened between Roxy and this guy and when it took place. Either way he'd never be able to let her rot in prison. He loved her whether she cheated or not.

He was angry at her deceit, however, he spent the night thinking of ways to confront her, and her reasons for doing it. Prime reason at the front of his mind was his inadequacy and that, of course, he didn't deserve to be happy. He had felt guilty originally that perhaps her losing the baby was his karma, that he'd brought all this bad luck onto them. Now he felt angry. Angry at himself for everything he'd done and angry with Roxy for whatever bullshit game she was playing.

After he was released he'd made his way to the clubhouse, thankful Roxy wasn't around, cleaned himself up and sat out in the lot waiting for the club to arrive.

Chibs and Opie pulled in as Juice finished his smoke, he went over and helped Chibs walk his bike back into its spot.

"Where the hell you been?" Chibs questioned.

"Sorry. Roosevelt picked me up."

"Yeah, we know. Then what?"

"Had to clear my head. Took a ride out to Yosemite. I'm ok." He tried to reassure Chibs who looked at him sceptically.

"Probably should have stayed in Yosemite. Shits hit the fan brother. Lobo tried to take Tara this morning." Opie waded in.

"Jesus Christ."

"And Roxy thinks you spent the night at Sarah's. So uh... Watch out for that one."

Juice stood open mouthed and Chibs dragged him along. "Come on."

"What the fuck? How does she even know about Sarah? Haven't seen her since before I even met Roxy."

"We didn't know where you were. She heard Gemma tell Bobby to call Precious to see if you'd gone there." Chibs answered.

"Fuck."

"Fuck indeed."

xxx xxx

It was dinner time and Roxy was still at the hospital. Gemma had 'things to do' and rushed out of the hospital leaving Roxy to deal with Abel and Thomas while she waited for Elyda to come and take them home. She had strict instructions to be at her Mum's early the next day so they could sort out helping Jax for the day with the boys.

Jax came by to see Tara, giving Roxy a hug and kiss before ruffling the boys' heads and heading into Tara's room. Roxy heard Tara's raised voice a few short moments later. She wondered if she should intervene but then Elyda arrived to take the boys.

Roxy kissed them both goodnight and let them go with Elyda, choosing to stay and wait for Jax to leave.

It wasn't long before he exited Tara's room, tears in his eyes. He spotted Roxy and made his way over to her.

"Boys gone?"

"Yeah. You ok?"

He half nodded. "Kinda. She's not really in the right head space."

"I know that feeling."

Jax looked at the defeated look in his sister's eyes. "I heard Juice is back. Where was he?"

"Yosemite, apparently."

"You don't sound too convinced."

"Don't really know where his head's at right now."

Jax pulled her in for a hug. "He'll be fine soon. He's just a bit softer than the rest of the club. You're not used to that sorta shit."

Jax was right. Every man in Roxy's life demonstrated their manliness in a variety of ways. Even Matt, her only other serious adult relationship aside Juice, was a hard ass. Juice was different, he was softer, still tough when he had to be but he was in touch with his soft side where the others weren't.

"Yeah I guess." She returned her brother's hug. "I'm gunna head home. Wait for Juice."

"Ok darlin'."

Roxy pecked him on the cheek and made her way out.

xxx xxx

Juice had managed to avoid Roxy for the rest of the afternoon but when they arrived at the hospital to see Jax he noticed her old car in the lot.

He steeled himself as they walked through the corridors to Tara's floor but the group was stopped by Roosevelt before they could enter.

Juice assured the guys he'd be fine and agreed to talk to Roosevelt.

"What do you want?" He hissed when he was sure the others had walked away.

"To apologise." The look in his eyes was sincere. "I'm getting tossed around by this DA just as much as you are. The way I've conducted myself... I'm sorry."

"Yeah. Well it's a little late for that now."

"I know. Doesn't mean I can't man up and tell you that I was wrong. This entrapment and black mail bullshit isn't how real police work is done."

Juice accepted Roosevelt's apology. He could hear the sincerity in his voice. "Yeah. Ok." Juice watched him leave before turning on his heel and following the path his brothers took, bracing himself for seeing Roxy. He couldn't let his anger take over and he didn't want anyone to find out about his deal with the Feds. So for now he couldn't confront Roxy. Despite the fact his head was screaming for him to do so.

Jax told everyone to go home and get some rest, all but ordering Juice to go home to Roxy and sort everything out. He had to agree with his VP, especially when VLin had been sent to follow her home and stay till Juice came back. They didn't know what they were dealing with here and didn't want to take any chances.

Juice pulled into his drive noticing the delivery of the brand new black, Jeep Patriot he'd ordered for Roxy. He'd totally forgot it was being delivered today.

He sighed as he parked his bike next to it and made his way inside.

Roxy was waiting for him in the living room with a mug of tea.

"Thank god you're home." She stood to move closer to him. "Where have you been?"

"Yosemite." He replied as he kicked off his boots.

"That's it? All night?"

Juice glared at Roxy. "Yes, all night." He snapped.

"You sure you didn't go see anyone?"

"Yes I'm sure. What are you getting at Rox?" He moved closer to her and she could see the glint of anger in his dark eyes. "Are you accusing me of cheating?"

Roxy stumbled over her words under his intense gaze. "I don't know."

"You've got a nerve." He turned away from her. "I've not been with anyone since you."

The meaning behind his words was clear. She'd had Kozik. And here she was pretty much accusing him of cheating. Fair enough she'd technically broken up with Juice at the time but she knew he didn't count it. And neither did she to be honest.

"That was fair." She followed him as he marched down to the bedroom. "I'm sorry. I've just been worried."

"Mmm. No need to be." Juice softened only slightly with Roxy's concern.

He found he couldn't really look at her without imagining that guy, all over this girl. He allowed Roxy to move closer to him, wrapping him in her arms.

After a few moments, Roxy pulled him down for a kiss, and after a few seconds he returned it with fervour.

It had been quite a few emotional days, and combined with his current anger he was keen for a release.

Allowing Roxy to push him back towards the bed he fell slowly down so he was lying on his back. Roxy straddled him, grinding on him while her hands roamed his body. Juice didn't pay as much attention to her as he usually did, just focusing on how good she felt on top of him.

Roxy was intent on relaxing Juice so she did all the usual things to turn him on. Usually he was more handsy but she knew he still wasn't himself. She stripped down to her underwear for him and palmed him through his pants. She was about to undo them when he cut off her kiss and turned her around so she was kneeling up on the bed before him. Juice was ready to go now so he pulled his pants and boxers down just enough to free himself from them before slipping Roxy's panties over her ass and down her thighs.

He gripped his hard cock in one hand Roxy's waist with the other and without much further ado he plunged into her. Roxy bucked against the sudden intrusion, expecting him to engage in a bit more foreplay first, but after a second she found her rhythm and bounced back against him.

Juice used both hands to pull her hips back into him on every thrust while setting a punishing rhythm.

Roxy was finding it hard to build to her climax in this position, but before she could suggest another she felt Juice's pace become choppy and heard the familiar groan of him cumming as his grip tightened on her waist.

Roxy was disappointed when he pulled out, but she was devastated when he simply let her go, pulled up his pants, and moved across the room to grab his PJ track pants and a singlet while heading to the shower. Leaving Roxy to sit alone on the bed and wonder what the hell just happened. Juice was usually a dominant lover, but he was always preoccupied with making her climax as well. Today he did not give a shit, obviously.

She felt used, like whatever that was he had just been going through the motions, no emotional connection. As Roxy changed for bed she wondered quietly to herself if this is what the sweet butts felt like every night. She tried not to dwell on it, and keep the tears at bay while she lay in bed waiting for Juice.

He still didn't say much as he climbed into bed after his shower. When he eventually climbed into bed he possessively threw his arm round her waist, oblivious to her current state of mind and the silent tears rolling down her face.


	59. Chapter 59

Roxy woke up the next morning and rolled over. Juice was facing her in the bed, snoring his head off. Deep in sleep he looked peaceful and carefree, he looked like the funny, sweet, man who bought the car that was in the driveway, the car she assumed was hers. But his behaviour last night was way off. This was not the same Juice she fell in love with and she was worried that perhaps this change wasn't just because of the stress he was under right now, that it was maybe a more permanent change as a result of everything that has happened recently. And if that was the case she knew she was partly to blame given her treatment of him while he was inside. She raised her right hand and gently stroked the darkening bruise that marred the tattoo of her name on his neck and prayed that whatever this was that it would be over soon.

Roxy sighed and, not wanting to wake him, rolled silently off the bed. It was about time she headed to her mum and dad's house to get ready for the day. She quietly dressed herself and left Juice. He knew where she was going.

Juice held his breath, pretending to be asleep, until he was sure she left. Then he too got dressed and left for the day.

xxx xxx

Roxy arrived at her mums and let herself in with her key.

"Ma! I brought coffee and donuts." She yelled as she moved through to the kitchen.

The sight that greeted her as she entered the room knocked the wind right out of her.

"What the fuck happened to you?!" She ditched the coffee and bag of donuts on the table and rushed to her mum's side.

Unser sat quietly as Roxy surveyed her mother's horrifically battered and bruised body but her face held the worst injuries.

Gemma refused to look at or speak to her daughter. "Ma? Does the club know who did this? Does dad know?"

Gemma flinched and Unser cleared his throat nervously at the mention of Clay. Then it clicked, the tension and the arguments yesterday and the last couple of weeks. Her dad did this.

"Dad did this to you." It was a statement. Not a question. She backed slowly away from her mum as the anger coursed through her veins.

After second she picked her car keys up and turned to leave.

"Roxy?! Don't. Just leave it."

But she ignored Gemma's pleas and stormed out of the house. Gemma chose not to follow her daughter out of the house. Clay deserved his daughter's wrath and there's no way the guys at the club would let him hurt her and as low as he'd stoop he'd never kill his own daughter.

She hoped...

xxx xxx

Roxy made quick work of the short drive to the clubhouse from her parent's place. All the frustration from Juice the last few days was topped with this anger at her dad now. Her mum looked like she'd been run over by a Mack truck.

He wouldn't be getting away with this. Roxy threw her car haphazardly into a spot outside TM, ignoring the greetings from those in the garage and stormed to the clubhouse.

As soon as she entered the clubhouse she spotted her father, sitting at a table while Tig talked to him. She pushed past Tig as she yelled. "You piece of shit!"

She managed to get one punch in across his slightly cut up face. At least her Ma managed to get a few strikes in.

Before Roxy could do any more damage Tig pulled her back as she flailed against him.

"How could you do that to her?! Why?!" She relaxed slightly in Tig's arms as she began to sob slightly.

"None of your business! What happens between me and my Old Lady has nothing to do with anyone here." Clay commanded.

"It does when she's my mum!"

Clay moved forward to tower over his daughter, his heart breaking slightly when she flinched, she looked so much like her mother.

"I suggest you calm the fuck down."

"What? You gunna hit me too?" Roxy challenged, obviously not scared of her father.

Juice and Chibs emerged from the dorm halls to see what all the commotion was about. Clay turned to see who had joined them and barked at Juice. "Sort your Old Lady out Juice." He stormed past him towards the chapel. "Get her in line." He slammed the doors behind him.

Juice came over to Roxy's side, completely confused as to what just transpired.

"What just happened?" Chibs was the first to speak.

"Just wait till you see the state of my mum. Then you'll know." She glared at the chapel once more before turning on her heel and storming out of the clubhouse, leaving Juice, Tig, and Chibs staring after her.

Tig snapped out of it and pushed Juice in the direction of the door. "Go see if she's ok. Talk her down, before Clay does."

Juice found Roxy outside, she had her palms against her car, arms outstretched so it almost looked like she was going to do a push up against the car.

When Juice reached out and touched her back she flinched before turning around, relaxing only slightly when she saw it was him.

"What?" She said sharply.

"I just wanted to know what happened in there. But whatever."

"My dad has decided hitting my Ma is a good way to resolve problems."

"You know what it's like Roxy, if that's how they sort shit and keep each other in line then that's the way it is."

Roxy stared at him waiting to see the joke or sarcasm in his eyes, but it never came. "This was more than just 'keeping her in line', he beat her to hell and back. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Nothing. But you gotta calm down, making a scene in the clubhouse won't fix anything." She couldn't believe what she was hearing right now. "Go home. Calm down."

Roxy knew that was an order and not a suggestion. She was unable to form any sort of come back seeing as she was so livid so she just gaped her mouth a couple of times before shutting it. Without another word she just turned on her heel, slammed her car door and squealed out of the lot.

xxx xxx

Juice found himself at the warehouse an hour later. He was probably a bit harsh on Roxy, and he did not believe hitting women was a good way to get what you wanted, he'd seen his Ma on the receiving end of that more than once. In all honesty he knew exactly how Roxy was feeling at this point in time. But he was still just so angry at her that she was lying to him in some way. Deceiving him.

For once he thought he had someone who was going to ph him first, above everyone else. But it turned out that wasn't true. She was lying to him.

And now he was at the warehouse in close proximity with Kozik. Just another reminder of how shit everything with Roxy was right now.

He was snapped out of his thoughts as he watched the others unload some serious weaponry out of the crates.

"Man this is the sorta stuff I only see in my war games." He turned to Bobby. "Real Call of Duty shit."

Eventually they sorted everything out up there and left to go back for church. Juice had to stop for more smokes on the way back so by the time he got there everyone else was already at the clubhouse. He walked inside to find Roxy at the bar with Kozik and just about blew his stack.

Roxy hadn't gone home earlier as per Juice's order. Instead she went for a drive to clear her head before returning to the clubhouse to wait for Jax. She knew she'd have to be on her best behaviour if she saw Clay again, didn't mean she'd talk to him, but he did have the power to ban her from the clubhouse. Which was the last thing she wanted right now.

But it was a pleasant surprise when Kozik walked in the doors. She jumped up to give him a hug before he followed her back to the bar. She'd filled him in a little on her issues with Juice, and he assured her things would calm down. He was reminding her of what a good guy Juice was when she felt a hand grab her arm to turn her around.

"Thought I told you to go home?" He asked rather snappily.

"Whatever Juice. I'm going outside for a smoke." She shrugged Juice's hand from her shoulder and left the two of them at the bar.

Kozik punched his brother on the arm. "Why you being such a dick? She's worried about you."

Juice groaned, unable to explain to Kozik. "Just lotsa shit."

"Well get your head out your sorry ass before she dumps it. She's prime Old Lady material right there and for some reason she's 100% devoted to you. She's good for you bro. So sort your shit out." Kozik patted Juice on the arm this time before following after Roxy.

He joined her on the picnic bench and helped himself to a cigarette. She scowled as she snatched the packet from him before softening and letting him have one.

"I think I've sorted all your love life problems." He grinned cockily at her.

"I'm sure you have Kozik. Out of allll of his brothers you do know me the best." She winked jokingly at him. "I'm sure he loves getting advice on me from you." She added sarcastically.

"Nah he knows the score with us. Just be there for his sorry ass, Rox. He is a good guy. I genuinely would tell you to run for the hills, or keep you to myself, if I thought otherwise." He gave her a half hug and they finished their smokes in silence.

xxx xxx

After the guys locked everything down during church they made their way to the Lobos hideaway. Juice wasn't quite there with Roxy yet but he gave her a hug and a kiss goodbye anyway.

Kozik was right, she was good for him he just needed to find out what happened with this Mayan, but questioning her risked her with the club, and also he was afraid of the answer.

His head had been so far in the clouds that it took him a few minutes to realise what was happening when that first mine went off. Then he heard Kozik's curse before he exploded right in front of him. Hell his arm landed right next to him as he dropped to the floor with Clay.

After an hour or so of sporadic gun fire from both sides Galindo's contacts must have come through for them. Some guys stormed the field and after some more gunfire Jax called the coast clear.

Clay and Juice slowly rose in place, Jax asked if they could retrace their steps, but there was no way he'd be able to. So whether it was bravery or just shock he didn't know but he sucked in a breath and swiftly walked back across the field. He didn't even stop when he got to Jax and Chibs. He just yelled 'clear' to Clay and Happy and kept going back to the bikes.

Juice was numb the whole ride back to the clubhouse. Kozik didn't deserve to die like that. Everything just kept piling on top of Juice and he started feeling like he was going to suffocate again. He could feel a panic attack brewing. The pressure of checking in with Potter, lying to his brothers, not knowing where he stood with Roxy, the aftermath of his suicide attempt, and now watching another brother die in front of him, he as swirling farther and farther into that dark place.

When they got back to the lot they quickly discussed arrangements for Kozik and when Juice found out he had a brother it was just the icing on his panic attack cake. He had to get away from his brothers before he went into full meltdown. Sure Kozik dying wasn't his fault but he was right there. It could have been him. Should have been him. Roxy would be better off without him, she was his only real tie to this life. But now Kozik's brother was alone, Kozik was a good brother to the club, he was loyal and he'd never rat on them... Unlike Juice.

He made his way to the closest and most private room, the clubhouse toilet. Roxy's old beat up car was here but he hadn't seen her out there so he assumed she was in his room.

After a few minutes he flushed his finished joint down the toilet and steeled himself for going back outside now he'd managed to control his breathing a bit. But before he could leave the bathroom Chibs pushed him back in, slamming the door behind him and pinned Juice to the wall.

"What the hell was that today? Was that another attempt to swing from a tree? You told me you were ok."

"I am." He tried to convince Chibs but his voice broke as he continued. "I was just trying to make sure that they were... Kozik, man. Shit." Juice couldn't hold it in any more. He sat on the toilet and just started crying.

Chibs watched him for a second, realising how serious this was, before taking a seat himself. "Jesus Christ." He muttered as he rubbed Juice's back.

"What's going on with you boy? Huh? Tell me?"

Juice was quiet for a moment. He couldn't tell Chibs what was happening with Roosevelt and Potter. But he could tell him everything else. Maybe he'd feel better.

"It's everything, man. I'm drowning here. Roxy tries to help but, fuck, I can't let her in I've never had that before. She scares me. And just everything with the baby and that happened inside then killing Miles, I just can't do this. Then on top of all that Roosevelt is digging into my past, playing my useless piece of shit father off against me and reminding me I'll probably never get to be a father, useless or otherwise."

"Juicy boy, you'll be a father."

"No. I won't. As optimistic as I want to be Roxy's told me hundreds of times now, she can't have kids. And I love her too much to leave her for someone else. Plus her losing the kid and becoming fuckin infertile or whatever is my fault anyway. So I can't leave her high and dry."

"How in the hell was that your fault?"

"She was coming to see me Chibs. She wouldn't have been there if I wasn't in Stockton. Just payback for all the crappy shit I've done in my life."

"Don't be ridiculous boy. She coulda been hit by a drunk driver going over to visit you at Clear Passages. It's just life. And all this isn't some karmic retaliation. Shit happens. But you got each other. You'll pull through it." Juice nodded his head. "That girl fuckin love ye. So just go and be with her for christs sake. Stop taking shit so seriously."

Juice just nodded again and stood up to accept Chibs' hug. The weight of the RICO shit still hanging over him.

"I love you, my brother."

"I love you. Thanks brother."

"Couple guys hugging in a bathroom. Jesus." He chuckled and left Juice to it.

Juice sighed, looking into the mirror, his phone had been vibrating, reminding him it was time to check in. So he dialled the number and begrudgingly betrayed his brothers.

xxx xxx

Roxy had fallen asleep in Juice's dorm waiting for him to get back. She slowly opened her eyes as she heard him unlock the door.

"Hey." She smiled softly at him from his bed.

"Hey." He shrugged off his kutte and placed his boots neatly next to his door and made his way to sit next to her on the bed.

"How are you?" She gingerly ran her fingers across the back of his shoulders, sensing his mood and how close he would want to be.

"I uh... I got some bad news."

"What's happened?" She stopped rubbing his back and he pulled her hand round the front into his.

"It's Kozik. He uh... He died today Rox."

Roxy took a sharp intake of breath and slowly let it out. "But... He was just here..."

"I know, but he's not now. I'm really sorry babe."

Roxy let a few tears slip, she was used to this kind of loss growing up around the club. Members would often flit in and out of their lives and she'd been to more than her fair share of outlaw funerals. But it was different with Kozik. They were close, sleeping together aside, he was her friend.

She curled into Juice's side and let her sobs take over. After a few minutes of her sobbing and Juice stroking her hair she spoke. "I'm sorry babe."

"It's alright. I get it. You were close. I didn't like it but I know he was a good guy."

"Yeah. He was. Told me today to go easy on your sorry ass. Knows how good you are for me." She chuckled.

"Funny. He told me you'd leave my sorry ass if I didn't suck it up."

"You don't need to suck anything up JC. Just talk to me and let me help you."

"I'll try. Now let's go home, yeah?"

"Sure thing. I don't much fancy staying in here tonight." Juice's mind must have gone to the same place Roxy's had. This was where her and Kozik had slept together. He shuddered at the thought but decided not to bring it up. Instead he pulled her close to him, switched off the light and led her home.

Juice drove Roxy home on his bike, it was the first time she had gone with him on the bike for a while and she relished the closeness. She had no idea how close she'd been to losing him today and he didn't intend on telling her. He wanted to keep her close and try get past the issues those photos brought up in Juice.

Juice dropped his keys in the bowl by the door and placed his boots perfectly on the little rack. Roxy kicked her shoes off and put them alongside his. Before they moved further into the house Juice pulled the keys to Roxy's new car out of the envelope sitting in the key bowl.

"So obviously you've seen the new car." He passed her the keys. "We can go inspect it in the daylight but it's yours. Brand new, all the fancy extras and shit. Good safety ratings, thing's like a tank."

Roxy had seen it and figured it was for her. "I told you you didn't have to get me a new car."

"Hey I gotta look after you and it's way safer than that shitbox down at the clubhouse."

"Thank you baby. Just don't squander this money. I don't need fancy bits and pieces."

"I know." He moved off towards their bedroom and Roxy followed.

"I know today was probably horrible, but is everything ok? Like between us? We haven't really talked much since this..." She gestured to his neck.

"Yeah I know. It's not ok, I'm not ok, but I'm working on it. Had a good chat with Kozik and then Chibs today." He pulled her close to him. The thoughts of her with Kozik and the Mayan were battling it out in his head but having her close to him calmed them. The doubt was still in his mind, but he didn't really believe she could do that to him. It must be some sort of misunderstanding.

"Ok. Just know that I'm here for you." They stood like that for a few moments. Wrapped in each other, feeling the comfort they so desperately craved for the last few days.

Then Juice's phone buzzed, and he left her comforting arms to go outside and check in...


	60. Chapter 60

Roxy found it difficult to go to sleep that night, every time she dozed off she was wakened by nightmares, either of Kozik or losing Juice and even one of her dad and her Ma. So when she woke that next morning she was exhausted.

Juice felt her stir beside him, he too hadn't been able to really sleep. "Morning. You get any sleep last night?"

"Not really. Kept having nightmares."

"I noticed." He'd heard her cry out more than once, it soothed him that one of those times she had called his name. It cemented the fact that she was his. So he vowed to try put the Mayan thing out of his mind for now.

Juice's phone buzzed, a text from Jax to meet at the clubhouse in half an hour. So he had to get up and ready for the day. Before he could roll out of bed, however, Roxy pulled him back towards her.

"Please be careful today. I don't know what happened to Kozik but I'm guessing it was dangerous and I don't want anything happening to you."

Juice gave her a small, reassuring smile. "I'll be ok."

Roxy leaned over into him and planted her lips on his for a kiss. She was going to pull back when Juice deepened the kiss. Roxy looped her arms behind his neck and pulled him closer to her. She was pleased when, unlike the other night, Juice took the opportunity to run his free hand along her body, stroking her stomach, cupping her breasts and leaning down to kiss her crow before moving to her nipple. He took his time working her up, trying to make up for the other night, reassuring Roxy that he still loved her.

xxx xxx

Juice was only a few minutes late to the clubhouse. Their time together that morning was reassuring for both of them, he hated using her the other night but he was just so frustrated and angry. Today he could feel her love, gratitude, and relief when he paid attention to her needs.

The guys left from the clubhouse to meet the Irish Kings at the gun warehouse and it was a tense meeting. Juice and Happy were sat at the back of the room and both tensed when they heard Gaalen bag out the club for working with the 'dirty wetbacks'. Neither were Mexican but they both knew the Kings would think the same of them. It made Juice's decision to turn them over to RICO that much easier. He strained to hear as they planned to meet at the Wahewa land at 3pm the following afternoon.

Juice struggled to send the message to Potter confirming the meet as he was about to risk his brothers' futures. But he had to think of the pros; the MC as a whole would be safe, and Roxy wouldn't be touched. Sure they didn't have solid proof she was involved in this Mayan's disappearance, but as Potter said her connections would not look good in court and would probably guarantee some sort of jail sentence.

Taking a deep breath, and hating himself more, he sent the message and left the bathroom to join his brothers. Maybe for the last time.

xxx xxx

Juice had gone back to the clubhouse to spend a bit of time with Roxy before going to Clear Passages.

He was currently helping Roxy move some boxed around in the office. "I'll get some of the bud you like too."

"JC I don't care I'll just smoke whatever you do. I only ever do it with you so don't go out of your way."

Juice wrapped his arms around her from behind and nuzzled her neck. "I wanna just be with you tonight, smoke up, watch some movies." He sighed. "I just wanna feel good for the night." Guilt about tomorrow weighing heavily on his mind.

Roxy slipped around in his arms and wrapped her arms around his neck before standing up to whisper in his ear. "I think I could make you feel good."

Juice smirked and picked her up just enough to sit her on the desk. "Reckon you could make me feel good right now?" He asked as he ran his hands up and down her sides under her top.

"On my Ma's desk? While my dad mopes around the lot? I don't think so." She gave him a long kiss. "Tonight." She pushed him back slightly and hopped down from the desk.

"Fine. I'll see you tonight." He gave her one more kiss, relishing the break she gave him from his mind, before saying goodbye and heading to his bike.

Jax caught him just as he was leaving. "Hey where you going?"

"Clear Passages. Just going to pick some stuff up. You want anything?"

"Nah I'm good. Just don't carry, yeah?"

"Course." Juice had already put his piece in his dorm for now.

Roxy watched as Juice rode off and Clay, Tig, and Jax made their way over to the garage. Clay asked Roxy to shut the office doors so the three men could talk in private. Roxy just glared at her dad in response before turning on he heel and slamming the door in his face.

Jax smirked to himself at his sister's attitude, she sure had some balls to treat Clay like that.

xxx xxx

Juice finished up the paperwork he had to sign at Clear Passages and picked out some of the different strains he wanted to take home and show Roxy. She hadn't smoked much when they first started dating because of her job, but he was enjoying now getting to teach her the different types. She claimed she couldn't tell the difference but he definitely could. Although he had been a weed smoker since he was 13, so he had become a bit of a connoisseur.

He was ready to jump on his bike and head back to pick Roxy up and take her for a ride before they left for home. She'd driven her new car to TM that morning and loved it, but he figured it'd be fine on the lot overnight.

Just as he exited the shop two federal agents climbed out of a black sedan.

"Mr. Ortiz." They greeted.

"What the hell is this?" Juice snapped.

"We need some bud advice." One responded as he opened the door. "Get in."

Juice looked around to see if anyone was watching before he reluctantly got in, praying that whatever this was would be easy.

xxx xxx

"Finally. Thought you'd be back ages ago." Roxy grumbled to her mother who had flapped into the garage and office.

"Me too. Can't stay long, I'm looking for Ope then I'm picking up Tara."

"Oh." Roxy rolled her eyes. "Guess I'm here all afternoon then? I was wanting to hang out with Juice."

"I know baby, but things are crazy."

"I feel like I'm way outta the loop here Ma. You won't tell me what happened between you and dad, Tara is in a grump about something other than her hand, and you're all over the shop."

"I'm sorry sweetie. Don't worry about mine and your dad's shit. Just happened. And it's done now. Tara's in a grump because Wendy showed up saying how she wants to see Abel." She grabbed some papers out of the desk drawer and moved to the door.

"Ah right."

Sighing, Gemma looked back at her daughter. "Look I'll get Rat to manage the garage you go wait in the clubhouse for Juice. You two deserve some alone time."

xxx xxx

A couple of hours later Roxy was still hanging around the clubhouse. Tig was enjoying himself having a massage from some of his favourite crow eaters. The sight was sickening to Roxy. The girls were fawning over Tig, like they usually did. Roxy chuckled to herself remembering the blonde trying to sneak in with Juice when they arrived back from county. The blonde, Roxy had come to know as Crystal, seemed to remember too as whenever she passed Roxy in the clubhouse she glared at her. She'd even given her a triumphant smirk before as she led Tig away from her. Like Roxy wanted to get in Tig's pants...

So now Roxy was fiddling on the computer in the office just off the bar. She was lookin up recent movies she liked so Juice could download them and they could watch tonight. Her good mood evaporated however when her dad came into the clubhouse. She stayed out of his way, tucked in the office, not wanting to start any trouble with him seeing as it could blow back on Juice.

What surprised her however, was Tig's attitude towards her dad too. Tig was close with Gemma. Always had been, but he was Clay's best friend and right hand man. It surprised her that they would be on the outs. Guess maybe this stuff with Gemma upset him too.

Eventually Tig left, Clay was still sequestered in the chapel so Roxy snuck out to the bar and grabbed a couple of bottles of beer and went back to the office and shut the door. She figured out how to work the downloads so she was downloading a bunch of new releases for them to watch that night, that's if he ever came back, it was getting really late. She was starting to worry what was taking Juice so long. He'd been gone for a few of hours now. She knew he had stuff to sign down there but it shouldn't be taking all day.

Roxy had sent him several messages with no reply, she started getting an uneasy feeling in her stomach. This was beginning to play out a lot like the night he tried to hang himself. Lighting up another cigarette she reclined in the computer chair and propped her feet on the desk and tried to calm her nerves.

Roxy heard a bike roaring into the lot, thinking it was Juice she hopped up and started getting her things together. Just as she was about to leave the office she heard a commotion coming from the Chapel. Unsure who was in there Roxy laid low, it could be more cartel shit. She got her phone out ready to dial Jax when she heard Opie's raised voice. She snuck out of the office, staying low to the ground. Opie was talking about Donna and Piney and from what Roxy gathered it sounded like Piney was dead and Clay was being blamed for it. Roxy was considering intervening when Jax came bolting into the clubhouse. He motioned for Roxy to go back to the office before cocking his gun and storming the chapel.

There were a few shouted commands before Roxy heard the gunshots. She jumped to her feet and ran towards the chapel doors just as Jax shot Opie's hand.

"Dad!" Roxy ran to his side after Jax had disabled Opie.

Biting back some tears, Roxy assessed his damage, he had two shots to the chest, apparently from Opie. Roxy didn't know what to do aside from keeping pressure on the wound. Moments later Rat and Unser came running in, they must have heard the commotion from outside.

"Call an ambulance, Jax! Now!"

Jax was helping Opie. The men grumbled between them for a moment, debating the police involvement. Clay insisted then that they move him to the garage.

The guys got him situated before calling the ambulance and clearing the lot. Rat was tasked with taking Roxy away. She didn't want to leave her dad at first but they had to set this up right to protect Opie.

xxx xxx

Roxy eventually arrived at the hospital and sat in the waiting room with Happy, Chibs, and Tig. There had been no sign of Juice and he still wasn't answering his phone. This angered Roxy initially as she needed him and he, of course, was no where to be found. But then she worried, where could he be?

Roosevelt finished with his questions and left them to it. But Tig was pacing, hating himself for leaving Clay alone.

"Tig you didn't know this was going to happen. And to be honest he deserves this. I don't want him to die but he's fucked up. A lot."

Unser shot Roxy a warning look to not spill the beans about Piney and Clay's involvement in his death. Roxy wasn't stupid. And like she said she didn't want her father to die, which is exactly what would happen if the club found out about his dirty kill.

Tig wrapped Roxy in a tight hug and kissed her temple. "You've been nothing but a great friend to him Tig. And he's been nothing but an asshole to you and everyone else around him."

Tig released Roxy and resumed his pacing before he and Chibs exchanged more words. It ended with Tig marching off.

"At the end of the day a brother asked for my help and I just turned my back."

"Tig? Tig, come back!" Roxy called after him but he was a man on a mission. Chibs held Roxy back from going after him.

Roxy broke down then, wishing more than ever that Juice was here. Her father lay fighting for his life in a hospital bed and Tig, who may as well have been her father was now MIA.


	61. Chapter 61

Roxy found herself back in the hospital waiting room the next morning. VLin had been posted on her all night, just in case Clay's shooters came after others. Roxy knew it was redundant so she wasn't worried about her safety. Just Juice's. He hadn't shown up last night, or contacted anyone. Same with Bobby. So things were looking suspicious.

Roxy and VLin were playing i-spy in the waiting room when Jax arrived for an update. Clay was back in surgery, thanks to the damage 30 years of cigar smoking had done to his lungs.

"Any word from Bobby or Juice?" Jax asked.

Chibs sighed and stood up. "Nothing from Juice. Hopefully he's just off on one of his joy rides." He gave Roxy a look then. She couldn't interpret what it was supposed to say. But then he turned around and Happy joined Chibs and Jax as they moved away from the others.

"We have bigger problems. Talked to Lowen. Bobby signed in at Stockton and didn't sign out." Roxy strained to hear their conversation.

"What the hell does that mean?" Jax responded.

"Maybe Lenny can tell us. He wants a sit down, with you, today. Lowen said he's pretty jacked up about it."

"Oh my god."

"Ope and Tig are MIA too." Hap added.

"Ope is up at the cabin checking in on Piney and Tig is so wound up about this he's probably neck deep in cold pussy."

Roxy groaned and looked away at that remark. She'd heard enough about Tig's 'fetishes' over the years to know when to tune out of a conversation.

"You ok?" VLin asked. He and Roxy had been getting close, they gelled well together which was good considering how often he was tasked with watching her.

"Yeah, I'm just gunna talk to Jax." Roxy stood up as Jax made to leave and got his attention.

Jax pulled her in for a hug and kissed her temple. "Just look after yourself Rox. Clay will pull through."

"I know. It's not him I'm worried about."

"Look Juice will come back. And we'll talk. Figure out what he's doing."

"Ok." That's what she was worried about. The club was beginning to not trust him, and nothing good ever came of that.

xxx xxx

Roxy spent most of her day at the hospital. She'd asked her Ma more than once if she needed help with anything but she was being really cagey. Had secret chats with Jax and was then off to see Tara, rejecting Roxy's offer of help. Something was going on there but Roxy didn't know if she had the energy to care right now.

Her phone started buzzing, stirring her from her day dream, it was Jax.

"Hey brother. Juice?"

"No Rox. Nothing yet. Listen, Tig is coming to see Clay. He's a bit fucked up need you to keep an eye on him."

"Sure thing."

They hung up. After about 15 minutes Roxy spotted Tig striding through the waiting area to his room. She gave them a few minutes before she went in, hearing Tig apologising to Clay.

"Tig, this wasn't your fault." She moved forward to give him a hug, as she could see the tears in his eyes forming. "You've been nothing but kind to him Tig." She stroked his back as he sobbed quietly into her shoulder. After a moment he seemed to remember where he was and what he was doing and he pulled back, switching the tears off almost immediately.

"I'm sorry baby."

"It's ok Tig."

"You heard from Juicer yet?"

Roxy cleared her throat. "No. Not yet."

"Worried?"

"Without a doubt."

"C'mon. Let me buy you a coffee." He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and guided her out the room. Roxy looked back at her dad one last time, feeling sorry for him in his weak state, but unable to match that up with the anger she felt at his actions.

xxx xxx

Everyone else had pressing matters to attend to and left the hospital, leaving Roxy to hang around and wait for news. The guys had club business to do and Gemma was busy running around after Tara as usual.

Roxy knew her Ma cared desperately for those boys and just wished that she appeared on her mother's radar as strongly as her nephews did. She felt like she was always playing second fiddle to Tara and the boys. It wasn't Thomas and Abel's fault, or Tara's. But she found it difficult to not feel bitter towards them about it.

So Roxy had her orders to stake out at the hospital. Chibs thought it would be safer for her anyway, still not knowing that it was Clay who shot her dad. By this stage Roxy was out of her mind with worry. She had been calling Juice all day, her messages going from loving, pleading ones to downright pissed off.

She did worry that perhaps it would make things worse if he thought she was angry at him. But right now she did not care one iota.

Roxy started messaging Harley, downloading her on everything that happened and so began the bitchfest. Lord help Juice whenever he reappeared.

xxx xxx

Juice had been stiffly sat on his bed for hours now. He knew the meet was going down and his stomach was in knots thinking about who would be there. Jax, who'd miss out on his boys growing up, Happy, who's mother was ill and dying, Chibs and Tig who didn't deserve to go away again. Would they all happily do the time if they knew it was for Roxy? Or would they have expected her to go inside? Did she maybe deserve jail? He didn't know if she had actually killed that Mayan, he wasn't sure she could really do that. But you never know.

He was jumped out of his thoughts by Roosevelt opening the door to his cell. He was surprised to see him here knowing it was a federal facility he was currently residing in.

Juice sighed and turned the tv off. Scared of the look on Roosevelt's face. He stayed hunched up, with his knees to his chest, unable to move.

"Shit. How many guys did they arrest?"

"None. It didn't happen. RICOs gone away for now. They'll be cutting you loose."

Juice was confused now. "What the hell does that mean?"

"Means the US attorney doesn't have any leverage on you. The Intel on your daddy and Roxanna's friendship with the missing Mayan has been purged." He showed Juice the file containing all his information before placing it at Juice's sock clad feet. "That is the only proof. Thought I'd give you the satisfaction of tearing it up." He turned to leave.

"Why you doing this?"

Roosevelt stopped and turned around. "You're a criminal. You do bad shit. I'm a cop, I stop you. I just wanna get back to that."

"Yeah, okay."

Roosevelt almost gave him a smile before exiting the cell.

Juice picked up the file and looked through the photos and paperwork. He fingered the photo of his father for a moment, he'd seen him once or twice as a very young kid, but that was it. He turned the photo over and skipped past his criminal record sheet, he knew the ins and outs of that too well. He found the security photos of Roxy. He recognised the date as one when he was in prison. Thinking back it was around the time they broke up. So technically maybe she hadn't cheated on him, but she was lying to him all the same. He threw the file onto the bed before standing up and stretching out. Now he just had to wait for them to release him.

xxx xxx

Roxy called Jax that evening, begging for him to let her go home. They still hadn't heard from Juice but Jax knew the real identity of Clay's shooter so he let her head back home.

Juice had gone straight home when they released him he didn't return any of Roxy's calls or messages, which he noted had increased in anger over time. Then there were a couple of messages from Tig and Chibs. The most recent one calling for church at 8pm. He just sat looking at the file before he placed the photo of his father on his bedside table. That secret was out now and he didn't have to hide it any more. Realising the time he made his way to his bike and left for church. He passed by Roxy's car on the way back to the clubhouse. He didn't think she noticed as she was further down the street at a t junction as he carried on straight. He couldn't face her, not yet, so he kept going.

When he arrived at the clubhouse he met the rest of the guys in the barroom and was met with a barrage of questions. So he fed them the cover story the Feds so kindly thought up for him. The weed shop was raided and he and his other associates were held overnight for questioning.

"Your love of weed is more trouble than it's worth boyo." Chibs clapped him on the shoulder before bringing him up to speed on everything.

They had a few drinks before Jax arrived, it was clear some big changes were happening and Juice just hoped the guilt of his betrayal would ease with time.

xxx xxx

Roxy could tell Juice had been home the second she entered the house, she could smell his cologne, and he'd obviously smoked some weed. When she got to their room she could tell the bong had been used even though he'd cleaned it and put it back on its spot on the dresser. He was the only stoner she knew that immediately cleaned their smoking equipment while high.

Roxy threw herself on the bed, thoroughly pissed off that he'd had enough time to have a shower and smoke a bong before heading to the clubhouse but not enough time to call and check in with her.

She clicked on the bedside lamp and noticed the photo of an older black man sitting on the bedside table. Roxy would know that smile anywhere and it was obvious the man in the photo was Juice's father. Roxy had never seen a photo of Juice's mom, she doubted he had any. From what she knew of his mom, sister, and family life they didn't exactly seem like they'd be the ones to take family snaps. Roxy knew it killed Juice that his sister's dad was in her life growing up yet his had wanted nothing to do with him.

She sighed heavily and set the photo back down on the table and decided to have a shower while she waited for Juice to eventually return.

xxx xxx

Roxy stirred when she heard the front door slam shut. She looked over at the alarm clock, surprised at the time. It was just after 1am. She rubbed her eyes and pulled herself up in the bed, waiting for Juice to come through the door.

He stumbled in and Roxy rolled her eyes, he was drunk, great.

"Where the fuck have you been?" She almost growled.

Juice jumped, he'd not been expecting her to be awake. "At the clubhouse." He mumbled as he took his kutte off and hung it on the hook.

"I know that. I mean before? Where have you been for the last almost two days?"

"24 hours. Don't be so dramatic."

"I'm waiting..." Roxy glared at him.

"Jesus Christ Roxy let me get in the fucking door first." He slowly got changed into his sleeping gear and Roxy just huffed.

Eventually he sat on the bed in his track pants and started to explain. "The weed shop got raided and I was hauled in for 24 hours."

Roxy raised an eyebrow. "Why'd they raid it? And why didn't you call?"

"I dunno, to piss me off? Fuck knows. And they wouldn't let me call."

Roxy turned to face him fully. "You mean to tell me that a bunch of federal agents raided your shop without explaining why, then took you into custody for a whole 24 hour hold without allowing you your phone call or a chance to talk to a lawyer?"

Juice stared blankly at her. "Yes."

Roxy groaned and rolled over. "Whatever."

Juice mimicked her groan. "What is your problem?"

"Go to sleep Juan Carlos."

Juice ripped the covers off him and stormed out of the room, no way was he sharing a bed with her now. She had no fucking idea how much he'd done for her these last few days. He'd willingly betrayed and traded in every single one of his brothers just to keep her safe. And for what? For her to treat him like shit. All he wanted was to curl up with her in bed, hopefully fuck too seeing as he was so wound up. But no. Nothing. Not even a hug, a kiss, or a good to see you and glad you're home. That was it, he was going to sleep at the clubhouse.

He moved back into the room and redressed.

"Where are you going now?"

"Clubhouse." He snapped. "So I can sleep in peace."

"Fine. Do what you want. Seems to be all you do these days."

Juice slammed the door behind him on his way out. Fuck this. He was couldn't get to the clubhouse quick enough and be where he was actually wanted.


	62. Chapter 62

"What you doing back here brother?"

Juice threw himself onto the bar seat next to Chibs. Most of the guys were still milling around winding down. It'd been a rough couple of days as Juice found out.

"Rox and I had a fight."

"Jesus. That was quick." Chibs downed the last of his beer and waved off the crow eater who had been rubbing herself up on him as he arrived.

"Yeah. Didn't believe I was hauled in for the raid."

"Should she believe you?"

"You too? Fucking hell. Yes. Go see Roosevelt if you want. He was there."

Chibs held his hands up in surrender. "Alright alright." He passed Juice the Whisky he had been drinking in between beers. "Shouldn't have been riding in this state brother."

Juice accepted. "Yeah I know. Just thought I'd be able to go home and get a bit of love. But nope. Just cold shoulder and bitching."

Chibs chuckled. "Yeah rightyo boy. Well you enjoy your Whisky. I'm gunna go get myself some lovin' before it gets too late." He made his way back to the crow eater who'd been with him moments before.

Juice sighed and knocked back a couple of shots. Might as well get totally fucked up now.

His remaining brothers paired off and either left for the night or retired to their dorms. Juice checked his phone and it was just after 3am. He was about to call it night too but Crystal came up to him then.

"You're looking lonely Juice. Want some company."

Juice smirked. 'Not the kind of company you're offering' he thought to himself. But he shrugged and kicked out the bar stool next to him. He looked around and they were the only two left in the clubhouse.

"What's got you here on your lonesome?" She flicked her blonde hair from her face.

"Not welcome at home tonight." He shrugged again.

"That's a shame." She pouted and helped herself to a glass of whisky. "I could make you feel real welcome here."

"I'm sure you could. But not tonight."

She pouted. "Wanna talk instead?"

'Why the hell not' he thought to himself and made himself comfortable for the night.

xxx xxx

Roxy woke up early the next morning. Juice hadn't come back home, he made good on his offer to sleep at the clubhouse. She grumbled as she got off the bed and dragged herself off for a shower.

Roxy took her time in getting ready, she plaited her hair out of her face and put on a bit of make up. She dressed in some simple denim skinny jeans and a tight black singlet before putting on one of Juice's plaid shirts and tied it up, rolling up the sleeves too.

She felt bad for the way they were last night. She hadn't intended on being such a bitch but he just wound her up so much, she was frustrated with him for being away and with everything that happened to her dad she was feeling conflicted. It worried her that he was so sick but at the same time she felt he deserved it. Juice didn't know everything that happened and Jax ordered her not to breathe a word of it to Juice or anyone else.

She figured she should get down to the clubhouse to make it up to him and open up TM. She knew her Ma would be busy and she would rather make herself useful down there than spend another day moping around the hospital.

By the time she got to the clubhouse there was activity on the lot. Most of the guys were down there waiting for whatever action was to happen that day whilst nursing their hangovers. She made her way down the hall to Juice's dorm and stopped outside the door to collect herself. She knocked once before pausing and entering the room.

Juice hadn't even heard the knock. He was still passed out on his bed, tangled in the sheets wearing nothing but his boxers. She rolled her eyes and made her way over to sit next to him. She eyed the nearly empty Whisky bottle on his bedside table along with a couple of stubbed out blunts. He must have had a real pity party last night.

She leaned over him and kissed his cheek before nudging him awake.

He rolled over and rubbed his eyes.

"Roxy? What're you doing here?"

"Came to apologise. Sorry for last night."

Juice grunted as he pulled himself up on the bed. "Yeah well..." He let it hang in the air.

"I've just been struggling with everything to do with my dad and I guess I was just frustrated with you for not being there. I know it wasn't your fault though."

Juice nodded before giving her a small smile. "You wearing my shirt?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Just missed you I guess."

"Me too baby." He held an arm out for her and she crawled under it. "But I'm hungover so stay and sleep with me a bit longer."

Roxy complied and got herself comfortable under his sheets. Juice sighed contentedly. This was all he wanted last night. He just wanted to forget everything that had happened the last few days.

xxx xxx

The few days after their reunion went by in a blur. Jax was now president in Clay's absence and something told Roxy that wasn't Clay's decision. Clay had another surgery too but Roxy hadn't been to see him. The rest of the club found out about Piney's death and people set about planning a memorial for him.

It intensified Roxy's grumpy mood, however, because she knew the real reason he was dead but couldn't talk about it. She hadn't had a chance to talk to Opie about it, and she felt awkward, worrying that he'd blame her in a way seeing as it was her father.

Juice was getting tired of Roxy's grumps and snappy attitude, not that he was any better. His guilt was still there and the two just kept butting heads in their miscommunications and by the following week Juice had spent two more nights in his dorm at the clubhouse. Roxy worried even more about that and the fact that Crystal was so obviously sniffing around.

But tonight they were having a party. Chibs and Happy decided morale needed a boost and a good old fashioned SAMCRO party was the way to do it. Plus they hadn't celebrated Jax's new position as president yet and this was just the way to do it.

Juice hadn't been home all day and Roxy texted to say she'd just meet him at the clubhouse. She got a simple 'k' in response. He'd spent the night before in his dorm after a particularly snarky argument on both sides. So Roxy decided to try make it up to him tonight. She invited Harley over and the two got ready and had some drinks together. Roxy dressed herself in a tight, black, leather mini skirt, black pumps and a burgundy, sleeveless and very plunging top which highlighted her best assets. She chuckled to herself thinking just two years ago she would never dream of wearing something like this. But now as a full blown Old Lady with her crow very clearly on display she strutted into the clubhouse dressed to kill.

She spotted Juice almost immediately, sat at the bar with Tig who had two sweet butts vying for his attention. Roxy watched as Crystal brought Juice a beer and gave him an all too friendly smirk. Harley squeezed Roxy's hand before nudging her off in his direction with a whispered 'be cool' in her ear.

Roxy sucked in a deep breath and pushed her anger aside, she was here to make it up to Juice not start a bitch fight. She arrived at Juice's side just as Crystal ran her hand down his arm.

"Do you mind?" Roxy snapped as she raised an eye brow at Crystal who had on tight leather short shorts and a black zippered crop top.

"Not really." She smirked and continued to run her hand down Juice's bicep. He moved slightly out of her reach and allowed Roxy to stand between him and Crystal.

"You got five seconds to make yourself scarce bitch."

Tig chuckled at that. "You best go Crystal. Don't want Roxy busting your nose."

Crystal rolled her eyes and stormed off leaving Roxy and Juice alone.

"Hey baby." Juice pulled Roxy in for a kiss. She was stiff at first, still pissed off, but after a moment she snapped herself out of it, reminding herself of her pact to make it up to Juice.

After a few seconds she broke away. "I'm sorry about last night. I feel like I keep saying that but I'm just struggling with all this."

Juice sighed, he knew he was being just as snarky and sensitive as she was and was equally to blame. But just like last time they'd make up, have some hot makeup sex, then fight again the next day. However, it was party time so he pushed all that aside, happy to have Roxy on his arm to show off to his brothers. There were some of the younger members from Tacoma, Rogue River, Indian Hills, and Nevada down to congratulate Jax on being President.

"Me too. So let's just have fun tonight babe."

They spent the rest of the night touching, kissing, and eventually dancing when they were both drunk enough.

Juice had his hands on Roxy's hips as she pushed her ass back into him, she pulled his hands up to run along her sides as she swayed to the beat. After a few minutes of this action Juice was well and truly ready to go so he lowered his head to nibble on her neck. Roxy had to pull his hand up a couple of times as it strayed down towards her skirt and attempted to sneak under the fabric to her panties. Roxy pushed him a few feet over so his back was against the wall before reaching up and pulling him down for a kiss, their tongues battling it out for dominance. Roxy won when she trailed her hand down his chest towards his crotch and palmed him through his jeans.

"My room. Now." He growled in her ear before pulling her back to his dorm.

As soon as he had the door shut she pushed him up against it again.

As Juice pulled her hair back so he could have better access to her neck, a flash of silver caught his eye on the floor next to the bed.

It was the fancy hair pin Crystal had been wearing the night before.


	63. Chapter 63

**A/N: so glad you're enjoying. I have many many plans for the upcoming drama ;)**

Things had been really good between Roxy and Juice for the few days since the party. Juice was lucky enough to have managed to kick the hair pin under his bed before Roxy saw it, then did his best to subconsciously make it up to her as they made love.

After their fight that night before the party he'd gone back to the clubhouse to find it nearing empty. Crystal had been cleaning the bar and served him a few drinks whilst listening to him complain about everything at home. Then she took him by the hand back to his room where she started kissing him. To Juice it felt like it had been ages since anyone kissed him with sincerity like that seeing as the only kissing he and Roxy had been doing lately was during make up sex.

He didn't have the guts to go all the way with Crystal but he allowed her to suck him off as he sat on his bed. He'd grabbed at her hair so he could guide her head and thrust into her mouth, that must have been when he'd knocked the hair pin onto the floor. The relief of having someone take care of his needs and actually be affectionate towards him had made him feel good for a while. There was no history with Crystal and she didn't know anything about him or his involvement in any club shit, including RICO, so it just felt good to have her fawn over him.

He'd asked her to leave not long after but she insisted he have her phone number in case he needed someone to talk to again.

Crystal was happy to pursue him, she'd watched him since he got out of prison. She'd not really known him before hand as she only arrived on the club scene a couple of weeks before they went to Ireland. Then the boys were in prison so she hadn't had much to do with him. But he caught her eye and she'd heard from the other older crow eaters how good he was in bed so she wanted a shot. Then she watched as he gave Roxy his crow and jealousy bubbled inside her. In Crystal's eyes Roxy didn't deserve him. She took him for granted. Now she was just so happy they were having troubles which meant she could swoop in and be there for him, hopefully it would end up in him choosing her in the end.

Unlucky for her things seemed to be going well between Juice and Roxy for the few days after the party. That was until Clay was due to be released from the hospital and Juice offered to look after him. He started spending a lot of time down there helping Clay with organising his affairs now that Gemma had kicked him out and he needed more comfort than the clubhouse had to offer in his current condition.

Roxy was there when Juice offered to look after Clay and saw it as a betrayal of her and her Ma. He knew how Roxy felt about her dad and yet here he was volunteering to spend all his time with him. Including today, Roxy's day off which Juice had forgotten he'd promised to spend with her while they had their new kitchen appliances delivered. Instead he was taking Clay out of the hospital for the day to inspect a house.

"You know how I feel about him JC! And now you're ditching me for him?!" She was stomping around their kitchen making sure everything was out of the way for the delivery men.

Juice was exasperated. Of course he had to help his brother. He didn't know what Clay had really done with both Donna and Piney and although Roxy was well within her rights to hate him for beating up her mother, Juice thought she was being foolish and ungrateful to cut him out of her life all together. She had a father in her life but was choosing to ignore him, where he would have done anything to have his in his life.

"You're being selfish and over dramatic. He asks about you every fucking day. He's really sick Roxy and you won't give it up for five fucking minutes to go see him."

"Because he is poison Juan. He poisons everyone around him. He's done nothing but treat me like a second class citizen my entire life, ruined my Ma, and you don't even want to know what else he's done."

"I do want to know. Maybe then I'll understand." He raised his voice.

"I can't tell you that!" She threw the towel she was holding in frustration.

Juice just sighed and turned around. "Yeah there seems to be a lot you can't tell me." He threw out before storming out of the house, hinting at the Mayan issue.

"What is that supposed to mean? JC?! Come back here!" But he ignored her, started up his bike, and took off down the street to TM to pick up the van.

He'd avoided Crystal since his close call at the party. But when she saw him arrive at the clubhouse she immediately walked to his side and greeted him with the same bright smile she always did.

"Need to cool off baby?"

"Not right now. Maybe later. I'll text you."

xxx xxx

Juice was sitting at the hospital after taking Clay around a few possible houses. As soon as they'd arrived back from his day release he had to be checked over before being hooked back up to his machines. They had some new Nomad members arrive the week before looking to transfer and they had offered to share accommodation with Clay but he was less than impressed and had Juice take him to visit smaller properties and it had worn Clay out moving in and out of the van all day.

Juice smiled as his phone buzzed and he saw the message from Crystal pop up.

I'll come by your dorm later baby, make you forget all about your troubles. - C

How would you do that? - J

First I'll start on my knees, seeing as you like that so much. Then maybe later my hands and knees? ;) - C

I think I like the sound of that. - J

You'll like the sound of me screaming your name more. - C

Juice smirked before texting her back again. But Clay caught him and asked what he was doing.

"What's got you so smiley all of a sudden?" Juice had told him a bit about he and Roxy's argument earlier on. "Patched things up with Roxy?"

Juice shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Uh... Nah."

"Well it's usually only pussy that gets a smile like that."

Juice stuttered and stammered. This was dangerous water. He was Roxy's dad after all. But Clay took pity on him.

"Look, my Roxanna is just like her damn mother. Headstrong, stubborn, nosey, fierce, and damn right argumentative. So don't make the same mistake I did. You gotta show her who's boss. That means hittin a little sweet butt then so be it."

Juice was surprised by his approval of someone doing that to his own daughter. But Clay was well and truly a supporter of the club rules and lifestyle. So he decided to get his take on things.

"I think she kinda cheated on me." Clay raised his eyebrow, surprised at his daughter. "Kinda. I mean I know about Kozik, but I think when we were 'broken up' she slept with someone else too. But the difference is she hasn't told me about it. I'm just assuming it was when we'd had that moment. I dunno. I've got some evidence and all it proves was that it was while we were inside."

"Huh. Solid evidence?"

"Yeah... Pretty picture perfect."

Clay rubbed his chin. "Look son, in this life you gotta own your pussy. You got the right, within the club, to tap a little on the side and if she wants to be an Old Lady she'll accept that. End of the day you're lookin after her yeah?"

"I guess. Got her the new car, we're getting kitchen shit delivered today. I'm just pissed she's not being honest."

"Well you gotta be the boss in this relationship. So do what you gotta do. At the end of the day she's yours. But you're your own man. Look after your needs, make sure you're in the right headspace for club shit or you'll both end up like me and Gem."

xxx xxx

Roxy was confused all day as to what Juice's comment meant. What does he think she's not telling him?

But her thinking time was cut short as the delivery men arrived and started hooking up her brand new cooking range and dishwasher. Roxy was amazed, she thought they were just getting a new oven and cooktop but Juice had gone behind her back and upgraded the order to a range that had two ovens, a slow cooker, grill and six burners. It had been similar something she'd seen in a magazine and he caught her salivating over.

Her heart melted slightly so she messaged him to tell him dinner was going to be ready for him at 7pm and she set about getting ready to break in her new oven and cook up a storm.

xxx xxx

When Juice got back to the clubhouse that evening it was fairly quiet so he made his way to his dorm room. Crystal had agreed to meet him there seeing as he'd decided to stay the night again. But he was still surprised to open his door and find her lying seductively on his bed.

"Juicy babe..." She beckoned him over with a finger.

Juice gulped, Clay's words ringing in his ears as he pushed all thoughts of Roxy out of his mind and walked towards her.

Crystal stood up off the bed and shimmied out of her red dress, leaving her standing in front of him in a matching black bra and pantie set.

Juice took a moment to drink her in, she had a cute face, but not striking like Roxy, she was blonde where Roxy was brunette, had small pert B cups where Roxy was a full DD, but she was here and happy to see him, unlike Roxy who was at home probably ready to bitch him out once again.

So he allowed Crystal to kiss him and snake her tongue down his neck as her hands made short work of his belt buckle.

She started working him over with her hand. "Can't wait for you to fuck me tonight."

Juice moaned as she slowly lowered herself down to her knees like she promised and enjoyed the feel of her mouth around him.

xxx xxx

Roxy had spent most of the day shopping then cooking, wanting to try out every aspect of her new oven she decided on a roast with Juice's favourite veg then his favourite cherry pie for dessert.

She used the slow cooker to roast the beef then the other two ovens for the veg and the pie.

While everything was finishing off she dolled herself up in the red dress she knew Juice was so fond of. But when 7pm came and went with no sign of Juice she started to get upset.

He had messaged back 'k' earlier so she knew he knew when dinner was. That meant either he'd been caught up or had simply chosen not to come. Both options broke her heart as both meant he'd decided to choose something else over her.

She sent him a couple of messages while she opened the fancy wine she'd bought to share with him. She thought she'd give him another hour and see where things went. If not then she'd pack up and go out to find him.

Roxy had almost finished the bottle before she realised what the time was. It was 8:45pm, no sign of Juice and no calls or messages. Roxy was far to drunk to drive but she was contemplating it when she heard the back door shudder. Surely it wouldn't be Juice coming round the back, plus she hadn't heard his bike. She was about to run for her phone when she heard the glass smash and the door unlock.

Heart in her throat Roxy desperately weighed up her options as panic gripped her. Being in the living room meant she was in an awkward position, as to get anywhere safe she had to run past the open plan kitchen and dining area the back door came into.

Her options were cut short when the three, large, masked intruders made their presence known. Roxy had little time to think so she grabbed her now nearly empty wine bottle and threw it at the closest intruder as she jumped the sofa and half wall to attempt to reach the front door.

Just as she thought she cleared the sofa she felt hands on her waist pulling her down. Roxy let out a blood curdling scream as a hand grasped her throat in an attempt to silence her.

Roxy fought like hell as her captor pulled her back over the sofa and threw her to the ground.

The last thing Roxy thought before she was set upon was a wish for Juice to come home and save her.


	64. Chapter 64

**A/N: so glad with the response to the story. Please keep letting me know what you think/want to see. How should this play out with Roxy and Juice? I have a solid plan of where it's going but just want to see what you all think.**

 **Thanks!**

Juice watched Crystal as she finished him off for the second time that night. He grabbed her hair and roughly thrust up into her mouth from his position on the bed. He had to admit she was pretty good at giving head. Unlike Crystal this affair meant nothing to him. It was just nice to have someone take care of him, both sexually and emotionally, for a few hours a day. He had been feeling bad about it until his talk with Clay. He and Roxy had been through so much together in such a short period of time which was probably their downfall. He needed someone to just be there on the side while he dealt with all that shit. Roxy would always still be his number one. Something Crystal didn't know about.

She finished her job and crawled back up his body. Juice allowed her to lie next to him while they both recovered, not having the heart to kick her out immediately like Tig would do.

After a moment she turned on her side and started tracing Juice's skin with her finger. Something way to intimate for what this was, and when her fingers reached the tattoo of Roxy's name on his neck he pulled her hand away.

"You should go." He rolled off the bed and reached for the pile of his pants, he pulled on his boxers and grabbed his phone out of his jeans.

Crystal pouted on the bed. "Don't you wanna have some more fun?"

Juice chuckled. "I'm good for now. Just wanna sleep."

"I could help keep your bed warm for you?"

Juice was distracted as he flipped through his phone. It was 11:45pm and he had a few missed calls and message notifications from Roxy, which he knew to expect. Most of them were from around dinner time with one last one at around 11. Then like 10 missed called from Jax, some from Tig, and Chibs. He quickly opened his messages and there were several from Jax, Tig, and Chibs.

The last one reading:

Roxy is in the hospital get your ass here now! - Tig

Holy shit. What the fuck happened? He threw Crystals clothes at her.

"You need to get out. Now!"

Crystal jumped off the bed, shocked at his sudden change in attitude.

"Roxy's in the hospital. I gotta go."

"Oh. Ok. Hope she's alright." Crystal huffed as she put her clothes back on.

"Yeah. C'mon." He checked the hallway before pulling her out. It seemed he was the only one who stayed at the clubhouse that night.

He quickly locked up behind them as Crystal moved toward her car and Juice his lone bike.

"Text me what happens."

Juice nodded solemnly and started his bike before following Crystal out the gates and locking them behind him.

He sped to the hospital and all but threw his bike into a space, mind on overdrive as to what could have happened. He immediately thought about her heart condition, sometimes if she skipped her Meds she'd take a funny turn and he kicked himself for not being there.

He rounded the corner into the ED waiting room where he was immediately bailed up by Jax.

"Where the fuck have you been?!"

"Shit I'm sort man. I was passed out in my dorm. Phone was on silent I only just saw the messages."

"Why the fuck was my sister home alone?! Huh?!" He pushed Juice by his kutte against the wall.

"We had a fight bro. I was sleeping it off at the clubhouse." He wriggled out of Jax's grasp. "What happened? Is she ok?!"

Chibs stepped over then to calm the situation.

"Some guys broke into your house a little before 9pm. Done her over while they ransacked your house."

Juice ran his hand down his face. "Shit. She ok?"

"She was unconscious for a good while. Didn't call Jackie boy till 11. They're checking her out. Making sure her heart's ok. Thinking it might be the same three that did over Wade's house the other day."

Juice's heart was racing now. How could he have been so stupid. One of their mechanics had the same thing happen to him but the club just figured it was more to do with him than his club affiliation. If someone wanted to hurt the club why would they go after a mechanic? Sure they ranked pretty high on the club associate radar but now they attacked Roxy at Juice's house, they knew it was business.

Tara had gone through a while back to see if she could help out, and find out information, and the boys' heads snapped towards her as she came back into the waiting room.

Happy, Tig, Rat, and VLin all pushed their way over to join Jax, Juice, and Chibs.

"What's the deal? Did they uh..." Jax didn't know how to finish that sentence but given the state they found her in, dress all ripped to shreds, he worried.

Juice looked rapidly between Tara and Jax knowing where this was going and wiped his had down his face as he waited the answer. Chibs grabbed his shoulder in support.

"Looks like someone had a good go-" she motioned to her chest- "but no. Rape kit came back negative."

"Thank Christ." Chibs muttered beside Juice as everyone let out sighs of relief.

"Juice she wants to see you." Tara motioned for him to follow. Jax naturally joining the two while Tig and Chibs followed behind.

When Juice entered Roxy's room his heart broke. She was propped up in her bed completely battered and bruised, black eye, busted lip, cut on her cheek and hooked up to the heart monitor.

Juice ran over to her and pulled her in for a hug. Roxy clutched on to him like he was a lifeline and sobbed her heart out.

"Where were you?" She broke out between sobs.

"Being stupid baby." He stroked her hair. "Sleeping at the clubhouse. I'm so sorry."

"Better be fucking sorry." Jax muttered under his breath.

Juice let out a frustrated sigh. "We gunna have a problem Jax?"

"Yeah Juice. I got a problem with you being a jackass and leaving my sister home, alone, and unprotected. Some fucking Old Man you are."

Jax didn't have time to react before Juice launched at him and punched him clear across the face. Jax managed to get one hit in back as Tig and Chibs pulled them apart while Tara and Roxy yelled for them to stop.

"That's enough!" Tig shouted. "Now both of you check yourselves or I'm chucking you out."

Juice ripped himself from Chibs' hold before going back to Roxy.

"I'm so sorry babe. I should never have left." He stroked her hair back from her battered face.

Roxy let a few more tears run down her face. She was so hurt, not just from the invaders but from Juice just not being there.

Jax came to the other side of the bed and kissed her cheek before saying goodbye. "I'm gunna go see if I can't hunt down Ma anywhere." He looked to Juice as he said the next part. "You need anything you call me, like a place to stay we've got the spare room."

"It's fine Jax. Really. And don't worry about Ma. Just wait till morning. It's late."

Tara have Roxy a kiss goodbye too, assuring her she was in safe hands. Tig and Chibs also joined the kissing parade where as Happy just gave her a smile and a nod before turning to leave.

When all was quiet Roxy broke down again and Juice did all he could to comfort her. When she quieted he had to ask.

"What happened?"

"I was waiting for you. I was gunna come down to the clubhouse to get you but I drank too much wine and then they just came in and I... I dunno. They knocked me out when they stopped me from running."

"What did they do?"

"I don't know. Waking up on the floor with my dress all ripped was the scariest fucking thing JC. I didn't know what they'd done to me." She hiccuped a sob and Juice climbed onto the bed with her so he could hug her better.

"I'm so sorry baby. I've never been more sorry in my life. I swear I'll never leave you alone again."

xxx xxx

Gemma arrived like a whirlwind into Roxy's room the following morning. She'd been out in Stockton at a bar drowning her sorrows and woke up that morning to a barrage of text messages and missed calls from Jax and Tig.

"Oh my god baby. What happened?" She strode across the room to kiss Roxy on the forehead. Juice had been asleep in the chair next to the bed and jumped at the sudden intrusion.

"I'm fine Ma. Home invasion. Like what happened to Wade."

"This is not good." She sighed and turned to Juice, levelling him with her hawk like glare. "And where were you while my daughter was being assaulted?"

Juice looked sheepishly at Gemma then Roxy. "Sleeping at the clubhouse."

"Uh huh." She raised an eyebrow at him and Juice looked away back to Roxy. "Some Old Man you are turning out to be."

Juice frowned but Roxy jumped to his defence. "Ma it wasn't his fault."

Gemma made a disapproving noise but left it at that.

xxx xxx

Roxy was allowed to leave the following day, Juice had the prospects help him clean up and re organise the house as well as put fresh locks on everything.

Juice decided to ramp up security as well and went to the electronic shop in Stockton before picking up Roxy to purchase some fancy cameras so he could set up his own security monitoring system. He'd never bothered before seeing as it had been just him living there. Then while he was in prison there was usually Kozik or a prospect hanging around to look after Roxy.

Juice drove Roxy home in her car, seeing as she wasn't fit to ride, and set about making her comfortable in bed. He wirelessly hooked the laptop up to the tv in their room so she could watch Netflix in bed and cuddled up with her for a while before he needed to start dinner.

"JC you really don't have to do all of this. You don't need to feel guilty about what happened." She was stroking the lines of the muscles on his chest as they watched Van Wilder, Roxy was just in the mood for a trashy movie.

"I do baby. I should never have left you alone."

"It's just as much my fault as yours. We both argued."

"Still..." He let it hang there, unsure of what else to say.

Eventually it was time to make dinner. Roxy just wanted pizza so he went out to the kitchen to put it in the oven.

He leaned against the counter tops and pulled his phone out of his pocket. Crystal had messaged a couple of times but he'd yet to respond to her.

Please let me know if everything's ok. I worry about you. - C

Everything's fine. Roxy's home now. She's good. I'm good. Thanks. - J

She responded almost immediately. It had been a few hours since he'd received the last message, but as soon as he replied he got a response.

Oh good. Well you know where I am if you need a break. - C

I'll be good for now. Thanks though. - J

Any time. I'll meet you at the clubhouse tomorrow? - C

I don't know if that's such a good idea. - J

Oh come on. We have a fun time don't we? ;) - C

Yeah we did. But I've gotta look after Rox. She's my Old Lady. Sorry. - J

Doesn't mean you can't have a little action on the side. All the other Old Men do. I'm only here to please... xxx - C

Roxy called out then to see what was happening with dinner so Juice figured he better wrap this up.

Maybe. I'll chat to you later. - J

I'll be waiting Juicy - C

Juice felt guilty as hell, but at the same time spending time with Crystal was a huge release. He'd been so stressed for so long and she was just ready and willing to look after him 100%. There was nothing else he had to do or worry about. Things with Roxy were complicated, so many emotions involved and secrets at play.

Crystal was simple. And purely there to serve his needs. Just like Clay said.

So after sorting his Old Lady with food he left her to it to hook up their security system and message with Crystal a little more.


	65. Chapter 65

**A/N: shits gunna hit the fan for a few chapters. But it all serves a purpose. I promise.**

It had been a week since Roxy's hospitalisation and she was back at work no lasting damage. Juice had been busy helping Clay unpack in his new house, a task which Roxy vehemently opposed. She wanted nothing to do with it. She still hadn't spoken to Clay since the shooting and she didn't intend on doing so any time soon.

Gemma had been slowly going off the rails and was acting more like a 21 year old college kid than a 55 year old grandmother. Roxy was feeling like she was being taken advantage of in regards to TM so she started looking for jobs back in her field again. She thought, although there was still a lotta shit going on, that she'd be in an ok enough headspace to start counselling again. And maybe it would help her having something of her own.

Juice had gone early to Clay's that morning to help unload his boxes now they had furniture in. Clay was on an oxygen tank and was really quite weak so he couldn't do very much for himself.

Roxy had gone round to Harley's. She had the prospects look after the office at TM, sick of the fact her Ma had all but abandoned the office to her daughter.

"So how is everything now?" Harley asked as she placed a coffee in front of Roxy.

"Yeah good. I think he still feels really guilty about the whole thing. Trying so hard to make up for it."

"Well that's good."

"He's still pushing all this reconciliation with my dad but I dunno. I can't get right with much of what he's done."

"You know my views on the matter." Harley had much the same views as Juice. Roxy had a father who was close by and yet she was closing not to talk to him. Harley would give anything to have Otto back on the outside. Especially now he had such restricted privileges. At the moment they could only talk via letters.

"I know. I know. I'll think about it."

"Good." Harley was keen for a change of subject. "So job search, how's that going?"

"Ok. Seems to be a few things going around. Really good one out in Oakland I wanna apply for. But I don't know if I'll be allowed out there. Plus it's like an hour commute each way. But it's only 3 days a week and exactly the type of work I want. So I'm gunna ask JC. See if it's ok."

"Alright. Well after you've helped me build this furniture. We got the memorial this afternoon too."

"Fine." Roxy rolled her eyes. Harley had conned her into helping build a new bedroom suite. She had offered to have the prospects come round and do it for them but Harley wanted to be an independent woman.

So Roxy pulled out a joint she'd stolen from Juice's stash. They'd need this if they were to keep any kind of sanity while they attempted this job.

xxx xxx

Juice was messing around on his phone while they waited for Clay to finish his call with the Irish.

Crystal had been messaging him non stop trying to get him to change his mind. He decided after the other night that he had to end things with her. So he told her, and she didn't take it so well. She was pretty attached for a sweet butt. He rolled his eyes at his luck, screwing around with the one chick at the clubhouse who was a bunny boiler.

"How's he doin?" Tig asked.

"Movin slowly but doing ok. Misses her... And Roxy."

Tig rolled his eyes. He too had tried to convince Roxy to see Clay. But she was just as stubborn as her mum.

The sorted out the Irish stuff for church that afternoon but first they had Piney's memorial.

"Do you want a lift to Piney's memorial?" Tig was desperate to do what he could to make this up to Clay. He still felt guilty for leaving him alone the night he was shot.

"Nah. I'm gunna sit this one out."

"But he was First Nine." Tig exclaimed.

"Yeah, I'm aware." Clay walked off out of sight.

Tig went to go after him but Juice held him back. "Hey, I don't think he's ready to deal with that kinda shit."

Tig hesitated but left him to it, not knowing yet that Clay was the real reason for Piney's death. So the three left Clay to it and made their way to the cemetery.

It was just the SAMCRO members, Kenny and Ellie, and a few others who attended. As soon as Juice arrived he spotted Roxy and Harley stood together under a tree a few metres away from Opie. He approached them and gave Roxy a quick kiss, assessing some new scrapes and bruises on her hands and arms.

"Who you been scuffling with?"

"Harley's bedroom suite."

"Is that right?" Juice raised an eyebrow.

Roxy rolled her eyes. "Yeah. Get your mind out the gutter. We were building flat pack."

"You know you coulda asked the prospects. Would have saved you a lot of blood by the looks of it."

The girls giggled. "We're independent women Ortiz. We don't need any men doing it for us."

"Well just keep that in mind Harley first time you have someone in that bed and it falls apart after the first thrust."

Roxy rolled her eyes and dragged Juice over to the memorial which was about to begin. Harley following behind.

Roxy watched as they commenced the service. She'd barely been able to look Opie in the eye since it happened. Her heart broke for Opie. For his kids. They had lost so much when Donna died. And now their family was smaller once again.

After the service Roxy sucked up the courage to approach Opie. He welcomed her into a hug, which she was surprised at. She had thought he'd blame her.

"I am so so sorry Opie. I'll never be able to forgive him for what he's done." She whispered in his ear.

Opie sighed. "It's not your place to forgive. Don't hold it against him. I've lost my dad but you don't have to lose yours. As much evil as he's done you still need him."

Roxy nodded and wiped away a tear. "I'll try Ope."

"Good." He patted her on the back and moved off to chat with some of the other guests.

Juice came up and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "What was all that about?"

Roxy snapped out of her trance and turned to look at Juice. "Oh nothing. Just giving my condolences."

Juice raised an eyebrow, but chose not to comment. "Ok. You coming back with me?"

"Nah gotta drop Harley off. I'll meet you at the clubhouse later when you're done with church."

They shared a quick kiss and Roxy left to drive Harley back. She stole one last glance at a forlorn looking Opie before starting her car and pulling away from the car park.

xxx xxx

Juice thought he'd seen the last of Roosevelt for a while, but just as they were relaxing outside the clubhouse he appeared. Wanting to know about the home invasions. Especially now Roxy had been a target too. Roosevelt had nosed around when she was in the hospital but Roxy had kept her mouth shut. They knew now it wasn't a coincidence that they had hit club members' or affiliates houses, so they wanted to keep the sheriffs away from it.

Roosevelt was far too near the mark as he described all the bits of evidence that pointed to it being retaliation against the club. He was shaping up to Happy, something Juice thought he was crazy to do, when Bobby arrived back in the lot with Jax.

The rest of the club ran over to greet him, leaving Juice and Roosevelt alone.

"Munsons free, RICOs dead, I guess you're free and clear too huh?" He stated, approaching Juice and walking with him. "Don't worry. I'm not gunna out you. But... This Pope thing spills over into Charming, I expect you to tell me. Good faith gesture."

Juice ignored him and ran to Bobby to welcome him home. He was uneasy, knowing that Roosevelt still had leverage on him, he just hoped he wasn't dirty enough to use it.

xxx xxx

The guys were still in church when Roxy arrived that afternoon. VLin was hanging out by the bar, polishing some glasses so she made her way over to sit with him.

"How long they been in there for?" She nodded towards the chapel.

"Hour now. Probably gunna be a long one." He offered her a beer which she rejected.

"I'm gunna go wait for Juice in his dorm. Let him know when they come out, yeah?"

"Sure thing." VLin smiled.

Roxy unlocked Juice's dorm and took off her shoes and flopped onto his bed. She was knackered after her day with Harley so she figured she'd sneak in a nap while she waited for Juice.

She was playing on her phone for a bit first and dropped it onto her face, it slid to the floor as she jumped in pain. She could feel a lump coming at her lip. After she recovered she laughed to herself, getting a fat lip from her phone.

Her phone had slid between Juice's bedside drawer and his bed so she moved to the floor and lay down so she could reach under. Just as she did so something silvery caught her eye. She reached in and pulled it out after she found her phone.

It was a silver hair clip with little diamantes on it. She didn't recognise it as something that belonged to her. Confused, she stood up and made her way over to place it on Juice's dresser. It must have been there since before they were dating. Why else would he have another girl's hair clip in his dorm.

As if reading her mind Juice's personal cell began vibrating from its spot on the dresser. Roxy looked at the number on the screen, it hadn't been saved into the phone. Thinking nothing of it Roxy moved to go back and lie down. A few seconds later the phone rang out again. Then there were a series of short vibrations as text messages arrived.

Roxy gave up and gave in to her nosiness. She hopped over to the dresser and picked up the phone. All the message notifications were from the same number. She knew Juice's unlock code but she debated for a couple of minutes whether she should look or not. It was a massive invasion of privacy, but whoever it was had been desperate to get a hold of him. What if it was an emergency?

So Roxy keyed in the number, a part of her knowing she wouldn't like what she was about to find.

Answer my call, please.

I need to talk to you.

I want to see you.

Come on Juice. We had fun...

Don't you want me to come back to your dorm again?

I'll do anything you want baby, just like last time.

Just say the word and I'm there.

Answer!

All the messages were from the same person and Roxy definitely didn't like what she saw. She started scrolling back, reading the conversation between Juice and who she found out to be Crystal.

There were a bunch of dirty messages, detailing explicitly a hook up they must have had. It seemed like they'd been together a few times over the past few weeks.

Roxy's heart plummeted in her chest and the tears pricked behind her eyes the more she read.

Eventually she couldn't take it any more and threw the phone across the room where it hit the wall and shattered.

Roxy threw the hair pin onto Juice's bed then turned back and swiped everything off the top of his dresser onto the floor.

Messing up the order of Juice's room was intensely satisfying so she did the same with his computer table, knocking the laptop and one of the monitors over before resuming up and flinging all of his DVDs and CDs onto the floor too.

Then she pulled out her keychain and started twisting the key to their house and the key to her new car off the chain.

Roxy stormed out of the room, not bothering to close the door behind and her strode into the barroom.

The guys were still in church so she walked over to VLin and slammed the keys onto the bar.

VLin looked up at her, surprised and confused at the sudden change in her attitude.

"Give them back to Juice when he comes out and tell him he can take the slut back to his house next time. She'll be more comfortable."

Roxy pulled her bag further onto her shoulder and made her way out of the clubhouse.

VLin called after her wondering where she was going.

"I'll be at Harley's if anyone asks."

And with that she fled the clubhouse and the lot, shakily calling Harley as she cried hysterically into the phone.


	66. Chapter 66

**A/N: ain't no way he's going to get out of this easily. Thanks for the reviews! Hope you continue to enjoy!**

Juice walked out of the chapel totally confused about everything that Clay had just said. He killed Piney? It was in self defence but still, it blew his mind.

He followed his brothers over to the bar for a much needed drink while Clay and Jax talked in the chapel.

VLin passed everyone a beer, except Juice. To Juice he slid over two keys.

"What's this for?" VLin opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, unsure how to answer Juice's question. He had no idea what happened but given Roxy's comments about a slut he had a feeling Juice cheated. And he had a feeling he knew who with given Crystal's closeness with Juice over the past couple of weeks. "Dude? Why do you have Roxy's keys."

"She uh, told me to give them to you."

Chibs, Tig, and Happy looked over now, VLin's awkward body language telling them something had happened.

"Why? What did she say?"

"Look I dunno what happened man. She said she was gunna wait for you in your room while you had church. Then like 10 minutes later she came storming into the bar crying. She said 'to take the slut to your house next time as she'd be more comfortable.' Then she left." VLin quietly said the last part.

Juice froze in his seat. How the fuck did she find out about Crystal.

"What the fucks going on lad?" Chibs asked. But Juice just jumped up to run to his room. "Juicy?!"

Chibs got up and followed Juice to the dorms. Stopping when he saw Juice leaning against the door to his room.

Juice kicked a couple of DVDs that had landed near the door.

"Jesus Christ lad, you musta really fucked up." Chibs said as he looked at Juice's usually neat dorm room, his stuff strewn across the room.

Juice wandered into his room, surveying the damage, and sat on his bed. He picked up the hair clip and turned it over in his hands. "Yeah, I really did."

xxx xxx

Roxy told Harley everything she saw on his phone and she just couldn't believe it.

"Juice is like the last person I thought would cheat. I can't believe it."

Roxy had stopped crying a while back and lit another cigarette. "I knew this would happen. There's no future with me, that's why I broke up with him jail. But he's the one who took me back." She ashed her smoke. "Promised me everything. But that's gone now."

"Look, you can stay with me for as long as you like. I'd love the company and we can bitch them out together."

Roxy nodded and watched as Harley prepared them some drinks, getting lost in her thoughts.

She just couldn't believe Juice had done that, she had that hook up with Kozik but technically they'd been broken up. Juice didn't want to be broken up but she'd at least had the decency to do that before she got with someone else. Juice on the other hand went behind her back for weeks, texting Crystal while they were together, sneaking off to see her or staying at the clubhouse just for her. Hell Roxy knew he was probably there the night she was attacked. The betrayal was cold in her chest every time she thought about Crystal touching him, her smug face as she took what she knew didn't belong to her. Then he'd come home to Roxy and touch her lovingly with the same hands he'd used on that whore.

Roxy didn't realise she was crying again until Harley sat next to her and pushed a drink into her hand and rubbed her shoulder.

xxx xxx

By the time night fell Roxy had a pounding head ache from crying and thinking over everything. It hurt worse that Juice hadn't even called or messaged her. It had been hours since she left the clubhouse. He must have found out by now.

Harley had ordered them pizza for dinner and they just finished when Roxy heard a bike coming down the street and stopping in Harley's drive.

Juice stumbled off the bike and threw his helmet at it before walking up to Harley's front door. He couldn't focus on anything earlier until he had his room sorted again. His brain went into overdrive with the emotion of the situation combined with such an intrusion on the order in his room and he cursed Roxy for knowing what would wreck him. It took him 3 hours to sort everything again, then his mind could focus enough to start making order of the situation. Chibs came in with some Whisky for him and they talked over everything, like how Crystal had offered him a reprieve from everything with Roxy and his fucked up head, but she had meant nothing to him. Crystal on the other hand thought it would lead to something more. Chibs advised him to give Roxy room to calm down, judging by the state of his dorm she'd need a lot of room. When Chibs left him to his thoughts Juice thought he'd be smart and head over to Harley's to talk to Roxy.

Roxy knew it was Juice the second she heard the bike and told Harley to call Tig, she trusted him to help her over his brother. But there had been no answer with Tig. Roxy's next best bet was Opie but she didn't want to bother him so Chibs it was. Chibs and Juice had a really loyal relationship and she knew Chibs would back him a hundred percent but she did trust him to make sure he wasn't violent or aggressive towards her and he'd take him away if he was annoying Roxy.

There was a series of bangs on the door as Juice found his way to it eventually.

"Roxy?! I know you're in there. Open up!" He demanded through the door. Roxy could hear the slurring in his words and knew nothing good could come of this. Harley hung up with Chibs who would be there any minute to remove a belligerent Juice.

"Go away JC. I don't want to see you right now." Roxy's voice was soft through the door and Juice wanted to kick himself.

"Open the door."

"Just please go away." Roxy pleaded.

"Not until we have this out Roxy." Juice said sternly. He was losing his patience. "Open the door now!" He barked.

Roxy's temper got the better of her and before Harley could stop her she ripped the door open.

"Have what out, Juice?" She sneered his name. "That you're a jackass? Lying piece of shit? A cheater?" She spat, jabbing him with a finger on each point.

Juice's heart clenched with her calling him Juice. She hadn't ever called him that since before Ireland, she thought it was too impersonal.

He grabbed her finger and pulled it down. "Don't talk to me like that." He pushed her into the house so he could come in.

"You have some fucking nerve coming here." She glared at him, Harley standing close by in case things got heated. She hadn't seen this side of Juice before. It was probably a combination of shame and hatred of himself along with the alcohol so she didn't know what to expect and didn't want Roxy getting hurt.

"You're my Old Lady remember? I needed to find you to bring you home." He tried to tug her arm but Roxy ripped it out of his grip.

"I am not your Old Lady any more. I think that ship sailed the moment you invited Crystal to wait on your bed on her hands and knees." She quoted one of the messages.

Juice tensed. He had panicked in coming here, in his drunken mind he just thought he could force her to come home and everything would be fine. That's how this worked right? The Old Lady had to do what they were told?

"I think you'll find my name tattooed on your chest says otherwise."

"Trust me, that will be getting covered up in no time."

She couldn't do that to him, he wouldn't allow it. "Stop this shit and come home. Now!" Juice had raised his voice.

Harley stepped in now that he was getting ramped up. "Juice you need to leave."

"Fuck off Harley this is between me and my Old Lady." He pushed past her to get to Roxy. He stepped in, his face just inches from hers as she attempted to meet his aggression head on. "You need to come home with me. We have to talk about this."

Roxy didn't flinch, she just stared him down. "There's nothing to talk about. I saw everything on your phone."

"It's over now. It was nothing to begin with, she didn't take the hint."

"You were with her the night I was attacked, Juice. There's nothing good I have to say to you."

Chibs arrived just then as Juice advanced on Roxy, boxing her against the wall. To Roxy's credit she stood her ground against Juice's considerably bigger frame. He wasn't the tallest but he still had a few inches on her and was almost all pure, lean, muscle.

Chibs called Juice to come away from Roxy, but didn't move to pull him away. Juice continued to stand over her, not wanting to give in. Every part of him wanting to throw her over his shoulder and force her to come with him.

"You need to get the fuck away from me." Roxy's resolve faded and she gave in to her emotions. "How could you do this to me? How could you be such a dick? After everything?! I wanted to be there for you after your little issue with the tree, but you pushed me away to seek comfort in some slut? You lying motherfucker!" She hit against his chest.

Juice couldn't help but see red then, at her outing his secret to Harley, who didn't know, and throwing it back in his face. He placed both hands either side of her head against the wall and lowered his face to hers, lowly speaking in her ear so the other two couldn't hear. "I'm the liar?" His deep brown eyes sparking with something Roxy had never seen in them before as they bore into hers. "I know all about your little thing with the Mayan." He growled.

Roxy looked shocked for a minute. "There was nothing there. Now get away from me you evil piece of shit." Roxy spat back with just as much ferocity.

Juice knew he was getting nowhere and growled in frustration before he pulled his right arm back and slammed a punch into the wall right next to Roxy's face.

She jumped and started trembling at his sudden, violent outburst just as Chibs moved forward to intervene. Harley pulled Roxy away as Chibs dragged Juice towards the door. But Roxy couldn't help herself.

"You're just like Clay! I hope you're fucking happy with him!"

Juice's heart officially broke at that comparison. He kicked the front door on their way out, smashing it back against the wall, putting another hole in the dry wall, cracking the wood an smashing the window.

Then he slowed. What the hell had he just done? How could he have let himself go like that. He'd seen this happen to his mother over and over again as a little boy. Perhaps it was a good thing they didn't have any kids. He'd never have wanted them to witness this. He would be a useless father just like he was a useless partner.

He heard Roxy yell in frustration as Harley slammed the door behind them, then he heard the sobbing as Chibs dragged him over to his bike to lead him home.

"What a fuckin' disaster." He muttered to himself as he watched Juice kick his helmet along the floor before solemnly picking it up and fastening it round his head. "Fuckin' disaster."


	67. Chapter 67

**A/N: yay I love creating drama. More to come! I'll be updating again very soon. You're supposed to sleep when your newborn naps right? I just do this instead haha**

Roxy woke up early the following morning still in a bit of shock. She had not expected Juice to get physical like that and it frightened her a bit. He didn't hit her but it seemed awfully close, and he had trashed Harley's door! Chibs must have called the prospects because VLin and Rat arrived about 15 minutes after it happened with the stuff needed to patch it up overnight. Then VLin insisted on staying on the sofa overnight. Roxy wasn't sure if he was doing it out of the goodness of his heart or if it was Chibs telling him to stay in case Juice came back. Either way Roxy was grateful.

She got up and made Harley and VLin some breakfast, she hadn't slept very much. She couldn't get images of Juice and Crystal out of her head. Every time she closed her eyes she'd remember one of the explicit messages and the image it would conjure up. Crystal's hands and lips on Juice and his on hers. The same lips he used to kiss Roxy, the same hands he'd touched her with. She just couldn't get that image out of her head and it was killing her. It hadn't been all that long since they'd been talking about pursuing kids. Now that was all out the window.

Roxy had to stop herself thinking before she started crying again. It was too painful.

xxx xxx

Juice woke up hungover, it took him a while to piece together his memories from last night and why his room was turned upside down. Then he remembered. Roxy finding out, Harley's place, punching the wall, kicking the door, Chibs driving him home, then finally ransacking his room looking for Roxy's pyjama top. He'd wanted to sleep with it for some stupid reason but he just couldn't find it. Then the more he looked the more panicked he got, like if he couldn't find it then that was it for their relationship and he'd never get her back. He'd found it in the dirty washing pile in the laundry then smoked a blunt before promptly passing out in his bed, the top clutched against his chest.

His phone ringing shrilly in his ear had been what woke him. Chibs needed him to come pick them up from some place called Diosa. Said he'd fill him in when he got there.

He quickly showered and put on some fresh clothes, not having time to tidy his room, just coming to terms with the fact that it would bug him all day.

Juice expected to have his ass chewed out or his balls chopped off by either Tig or Jax. But he soon realised they had bigger things on their plates. Tig, Chibs, and Jax had warrants out for their arrest for Tig killing Veronica Pope and the chase after. So they were currently in hiding. What made his stomach roll more was hearing about Tig's daughter. He couldn't imagine that pain. Roxy was going to be devastated for Tig when she found out. And with that he was thinking about Roxy again.

They were just about to leave to find Tig's other daughter, Fawn, when Jax pulled him aside, bailing him up against the wall.

"Don't think I don't know about you running around on my sister. I'm not one to judge with the cheating shit, but she was hospitalised because you were off getting your dick wet in some trashy gash. Anything else happens to her because of this and I'll have your balls."

Juice nodded. This was going to be a long day.

xxx xxx

They arrived at the address in Oakland, ready to get Fawn out of there and somewhere safe whether she liked it or not. But as soon as they arrived at the house they could already hear her screaming and then yelling at someone to stop hurting her. Tig and Jax burst through to her room, then a few minutes later joined the rest of the boys back in the living room.

They all stood around awkwardly as Fawn and her boyfriend came into the living room. Juice knew what was coming and Fawn wasn't going to like it.

"I had to find you baby. You might be in trouble. There's a guy... A black guy... He wants to hurt me, my family." Tig started uncomfortably.

"Why? What the hell did you do now?" Fawn moved to sit not to her dad.

"Well... I just... You gotta get out of town for a while, please."

"What about Dawn? You get her to leave? Or maybe you just paid her to go." Fawn snarked.

Tig couldn't answer. Juice couldn't look as the emotion was too thick in the room. He was too on edge for this shit today.

"Oh shit. Dad... Where is she?" No one could say anything. "I hate you. I hate you!" Fawn just kept screaming and screaming at Tig until eventually Happy pulled her away.

Juice and Jax were left with the boyfriend and explaining their next move. He wasn't best pleased but he agreed to get her out of town.

Jax had Chibs and Juice stay behind to make sure they left town ok. Chibs was giving Juice a judgemental look and he knew he was going to have to explain himself.

"Look I'm not in the mood right now Chibs."

"Well you better be in the mood soon boyo. I want an explanation for whatever that was last night."

Juice was quiet for a moment. "To be honest, I don't think I have one."

xxx xxx

Roxy was busy wallowing in self pity when Tara called her requesting her urgent attendance at some place called Diosa. Apparently her and Jax were getting married.

Tara obviously hadn't heard about Juice and Roxy's break up; either that or she just didn't care. Tara was so wrapped up in her own shit recently that they'd barely spoken since their dinner a few weeks back when the guys first got out. So much had happened in that small amount of time and Roxy felt so distant from Tara and her mum. Her Ma hadn't even called to say anything, see if she's ok or offer advice, so she doubted she knew either. However if something ever happened with Tara or the boys Gemma was there right away. They were welcome to each other she thought to herself.

Roxy couldn't help but feel sorry for herself as she and Harley got themselves ready. Just recently she had thought this would be her and Juice sometime soon, maybe once they'd locked down having a kid, if it was possible. But that dream was just as crushed as the kids one. Roxy wasn't even sure she wanted kids any more. It would be a hard road whatever happened and she didn't know if she'd ever be comfortable doing it with someone that wasn't Juice.

She knew he'd be there today so she wanted to look nice. Rub his face in it a bit. Harley had googled the directions so they knew how much time they had, and apparently this Diosa place was a brothel. Why the hell they were getting married there she didn't know but, whatever, Roxy had to dress to kill. Kinda hard when all her usual clothes were still at Juice's, however it came in handy when your best friend was a porn producer. Harley had plenty of clothes for Roxy to choose from. She settled on a nice pair of black skinny jeans and a flowy light blue silk strappy top. Harley had certainly chosen a dress fit for a brothel. It was a gold colour body con dress which played on her blonde hair and glorious tan.

Roxy rolled her eyes at her best friend's stunning beauty. "Jesus Harley. You sure know how to put a girl to shame."

Harley chuckled and pulled Roxy out of the room with her to her car. Seeing as Roxy had given Juice the keys to her Jeep, Harley drove to Diosa, which left Roxy free to smoke like half a packet of cigarettes and a joint before they got there, her nerves on overdrive.

When they pulled up to Diosa Roxy felt sick. She scanned the line of bikes and noticed Juice's immediately. She did not want to see him after last night but she needed to be here for her brother's wedding.

Harley noticed her friend frozen by the car and linked her arm with hers and pulled her towards the door all the while whispering boosters into Roxy's ear. They stopped just outside the door and Harley kissed her cheek before unlinking arms and ushering her inside.

As soon as Roxy entered the room she saw Juice. It was as if her eyes and mind were trained to know where he was at every moment. He was busy pouring tequila for everyone, but stopped when he noticed Roxy looking at him. He blanched when he saw the tears father in her eyes before she snapped her head away, plastered a smile on her face and turned to walk with Harley.

Juice just cleared his throat and continued to pour out the tequila.

Roxy made her way to find Tara who was apparently in one of the 'therapy rooms' getting ready.

Roxy found her, doing her hair and makeup.

"So congratulations Tara. Bit of a surprise."

Tara smiled back through the mirror. "Well yeah spur of the moment. But your brother, Tig, and Chibs all have warrants out for them and they're surrendering this afternoon. We wanted to do it in case he's in for a while."

Roxy's smile faltered. "I didn't know."

"Only happened yesterday."

"Oh." Before Roxy could get anything else out her Ma stormed into the room.

Sensing the tension Roxy decided this was her cue to leave. She had enough drama on her plate without adding whatever petty fight her Ma and Tara were having now.

She slipped out before either could notice and made her way back out to the bar. She saw Harley standing at the bar chatting to Chibs and made a bee line straight for them. Not wanting to leave herself open for Juice to talk to her.

"So you're going inside tonight?" She asked as she got to Chibs' side.

"Yeah. Unfortunately. But we'll be alright." He gave her a side hug. "And you will be too. I don't know the full details of all this. But hear the boy out."

"There's no hearing him out Chibs. Not for this."

He sighed but nodded. "Ok. But promise me you'll talk to Tig. Before we surrender tonight?"

"Sure. Why?"

Chibs cleared his throat and lent in to whisper in her ear. "Can't tell you the full details. But Dawn was killed. In front of him. Retaliation for something he did."

Roxy gasped. "Oh my god. Chibs! That's awful."

"Yeah. So just go see him before we go. He needs a bit of love. Fawn hates him."

Roxy nodded. But she didn't have time now as Jax called everyone over to the kitchenette area where they were having the wedding. Slightly quieter than the bar and more private.

Roxy sat next to Chibs on a bar stool with Harley stood next to her. Her Ma sat across from her and they got ready to watch Jax and Tara get their happy ending in front of a judge who'd just had his own version of a happy ending.

Juice distracted her however by standing across from Roxy next to her mum. Roxy glanced at him briefly before turning away. Her heart clenching at the sight of him, looking amazing as ever in his jeans, grey tshirt and kutte. She used to love those tshirts, they just clung to his muscles in all the right places. Usually the sight of him while she perved on him would turn her on. Now it just turned her stomach knowing someone else had enjoyed that same view.

So Roxy focused herself on Jax and Tara's rather rushed vows. She was happy for them, really, but she just couldn't feel it today. Harley, as if sensing her friend's anguish, reached out and grabbed Roxy's hand, squeezing it in comfort. Roxy squeezed back but kept her eyes trained on Jax. She tried blanking her mind as she watched her brother's face as he stared lovingly into Tara's eyes.

Once again she found that jealousy bubbling up under her skin. Tara had her baby when Roxy lost hers. Now Tara had her love when Roxy lost hers. Just another thing that always went right for them that sucked for her. She was even jealous at them having JT and Gemma's rings. She'd never want to wear Gemma and Clay's rings, that marriage hadn't ended well at all. Jax's father may be dead but at least he died a good man... Clay would never have that memory.

Roxy realised she was lost in her thoughts when Chibs startled her as he got up to say a little something, but she didn't hear it as she caught Juice's eyes once again.

As soon as the ceremony finished Harley and Roxy made their way back to the bar for something else to drink. Harley pushed another drink at Roxy, seeing as she was driving and couldn't drink it herself, when Gemma came over.

"Just promise me that when the idiot proposes to you you'll plan a proper wedding." She nudged Roxy as she sat on the stool next to her.

"That won't be happening Ma. We broke up last night." Roxy sighed.

"What? Why? Why didn't you say?"

"This is first time I've had a chance. I'm staying at Harley's. He uh, he's been cheating on me with one of the sluts down at the clubhouse." Roxy played with the straw in her drink.

"Oh honey. They all sleep with a sweet butt from time to time. But so long as he comes home to you that's all that matters."

"That's the thing Ma. He wasn't coming home to me. He was meeting up with her, calling, messaging, setting, and everything."

Gemma was shocked. She couldn't believe the idiot had it in him. "I'm surprised. What an idiot."

Harley laughed. "Tell me about it. Didn't even have the game to step it up from a clubhouse slut. But he's welcome to her now."

Juice looked over at the three women at the bar. He knew they were talking about him by the looks on their faces. Gemma was shocked, Roxy devastated, and Harley angry. He was desperate to talk to Roxy and see if they could figure this out but he wasn't going to walk into that lion's den so he left them to it and helped himself to some more tequila.

xxx xxx

The party eventually made their way back to the clubhouse and Roxy found Tig sitting by himself at one of the tables with a bottle of whisky. So she excused herself from Harley and made her way over to him.

"Hey Tiggy. I'm so sorry about what happened."

He looked up at her and she could tell he was completely broken. So she pulled him up into a hug and stroked the back of his head.

"I love you Tig. I really do. You've been more of a father to me than Clay ever was."

He squeezed her tightly. "I love you too. Thanks baby doll." He gave her a kiss on the temple and moved away to go to the toilet. Probably to calm himself down.

Jax was going over to talk to Bobby but Roxy intercepted and hugged him.

"Be careful in there yeah?"

"Always." He returned her hug and looked over at a forlorn Juice standing by the bar. "Just don't be too hard on him."

Roxy snorted. "Yeah. Sure."

He kissed her head and made his way over to Bobby.

"Alright boys." Chibs called out from the bar. "Our ride's here."

Everyone stood up to say their goodbyes as the sheriff knocked on the door. Roxy gave Tig one last hug before they made their way outside.

Happy was most certainly not happy to let the guys go willingly and Lowen had to step in before he got in Roosevelt's face. Roxy chuckled slightly. She quite liked Ally. She didn't seem to be scared to stand up to or get in the way of the guys, unlike other women. And the guys let her. Probably because she was damn good at her job and without her they'd find themselves in bother more often than not.

Roxy watched on with Harley as the sheriffs cuffed and chained the guys. Opie pulled into the lot just in time to say goodbye, but as he made it over to Roosevelt he threw a punch and all hell broke loose.

Roxy yelled out to him just as the sheriffs pulled their shotguns and aimed at the group to keep them at bay. Juice moved to stand in front of Roxy like a reflex and she subconsciously gripped the back of his kutte.

Roxy called out to Opie again as they loaded him on to the truck with the others, he turned to face her and gave her a smile as they shut the doors.

Within a few minutes the transport truck and sheriffs cars were gone and the lot was quiet once again.

The few left on the lot moved back into the clubhouse for a solemn drink. They were all worried about what awaited the guys in county. Their protection was apparently only organised that afternoon and with such a small group going in with tensions the way they were it was a dicey time.

Roxy was hesitant to go inside, it was such a small crew that she'd probably have to talk to Juice sooner or later. But she wasn't ready for it. At least he seemed calmer than he did last night.

She was about to ask Harley if they could go home when Tara pulled her inside. So the three girls sat at one of the tables and drank some vodka and tried to put Tara's mind at ease. Harley even invited her for a wedding night sleepover. Gemma had left almost as soon as the last sheriff's car did so she wasn't around, probably off to wherever she went these days to have her own pity party.

Bobby, Juice, Happy, and the prospects sat at the bar and had their own group. The girls were actually starting to have a few laughs and VLin turned on the music in the background to lighten up the solemn mood. Tara had just gotten married after all. Roxy, now halfway drunk, pulled her up for a first dance and Happy wolf whistled as Bobby cheered. Things were livening up but that's when the crow eaters arrived. Bringing along with them a certain, unwelcome, blonde.


	68. Chapter 68

**A/N: so happy to read your thoughts, keep it up! Make sure you check the end of the last chapter. I had to add something on to it if you missed it.**

Roxy stopped dancing with Tara mid spin as she saw Crystal saunter over to the bar with the other Crows and sweet butts, anger coursing through her veins at the sight of her. Happy probably called the girls to get them down here to take their mind off things, not thinking or knowing that Crystal would be one of them.

Of course she made a bee line for Juice not noticing Roxy at first, also not knowing what had happened the night before.

She'd barely gotten a word out to Juice when Roxy grabbed her by the hair and ripped her backwards from him. She punched her a few times, cracking her nose, before Crystal had the chance to respond and the pair scuffled for a few minutes. Roxy definitely had the upper hand, however, having been taught how to fight by Jackson at a young age.

Bobby had the prospects break it up when it started getting too heated. VLin taking Roxy by the arms as Rat pulled Crystal up off the floor.

"If you ever show your face around this clubhouse again I'll bounce it off the bar so hard your own mother won't recognise you." Roxy snarled from her position in VLin's arms.

Rat dragged a sobbing Crystal towards the door and VLin slowly relaxed his grip on Roxy now she no longer seemed to pose a threat and she spun to face a surprised Juice who had been frozen to his spot at the bar.

"She's all yours now Juicy." Roxy spat before she turned and stormed towards the clubhouse bathroom.

The room was silent aside from the music playing over the speakers. The older crow eaters who had been around the club longer knew that Crystal's beating was well deserved. She'd over stepped the boundary between being a quick lay for one of the guys to wanting more and getting in the way of him and his Old Lady.

Tara followed Roxy to the bathroom to see if she was ok, grabbing the first aid kit on the way.

"God you really picked the trashiest out of the lot didn't you?" Harley threw out to Juice as she took off after Roxy too.

Juice watched, mouth agape, wondering if he should go after them or not. He took another shot of whisky and moved to follow after the girls but Bobby put a hand on his shoulder and shook his head.

They waited around a few more minutes until the girls came out from the bathroom. Roxy had a cut on her cheek, her eye would definitely be black tomorrow, but aside from her messed up hair she was fine. Crystal had definitely got the worst.

The girls grabbed their bits and said goodbye to the others. Juice tried to grab Roxy on her way out, he had to talk to her, make sure she was ok, see if she was leaving him for good or not.

Roxy ripped her arm out of his grasp. "Don't... Just don't... Touch me." She wiped a year from face before moving off towards Harley's car.

Juice watched as they left the lot, torn between following her for a solid answer and going back inside to drink himself into oblivion. In the end he turned and made his way back to the bar.

xxx xxx

Roxy woke up the next day curled into Harley. They'd shared a bed so Tara could have the spare one. That and it meant Harley could comfort a drunken Roxy during the night. They'd indulged in a little too much alcohol when they got back to Harley's. But it kept spirits up until they turned in for the night and Roxy ended up crying.

But today was a new day and Roxy wasn't keen on continuing to use Harley's clothes so she messaged Juice to see if she could pick some up. She knew she'd have to talk to him at some point and when he said he'd meet her there at 8 she quickly got up and dressed.

Harley had wanted to come with her but she knew it was something she had to do alone so Harley allowed her to take her car over to Juice's.

It felt weird to Roxy to have to knock on the door of the house that had been her home for the last 16 months. Although for two of those months she had moved out when she broke up with Juice, it never felt final. This did.

Juice opened the door only a few seconds after she knocked, Roxy figured he must have been sitting right there waiting for her.

Roxy took in his appearance as he opened the door to welcome her inside. She could tell he was hungover by the redness in his eyes and the scruff on his face. Usually he was clean shaven but she figured he'd maybe only just woken up when she messaged him.

"I'm really sorry Roxy." He started as she walked past him to go to their once shared bedroom.

She chuckled humourlessly. "I don't wanna hear it Juice."

He cringed again hearing her call him Juice instead of Juan or JC.

"But I need to tell you-"

"You don't need to tell me shit Juan." She cut him off. Maybe Juan was just as bad as hearing her call him Juice. "I read enough the other day." She stomped down the hall to their room, going to the wardrobe to pull out her duffle bag and laying it on the bed to fill.

"Roxy please hear me out." Roxy turned to him when she heard his voice crack. He looked broken and for a moment she almost felt sorry for him. She knew he'd been through the wringer recently, but then she remembered the message he sent detailing how he wanted Crystal to suck his cock and anger took over.

"What do you have to say? Huh? How the fuck can you possibly explain that while I was here, waiting on you, I was beaten to hell by those intruders and you were back at the clubhouse balls deep in that skank? How do you explain that?" Roxy couldn't help herself and she started crying. So she turned away and moved to the dresser and started pulling clothes out to shove in her bag.

"It wasn't like that. I promise. I was just lost and I thought you had been with that Mayan and you were lying to me. She just was there when we had been fighting."

"Yeah well VLin was there for me but you didn't see me jumping into bed with him, did you?" She forced her clothes into the bag. "How'd you even know I met him anyway?" Roxy had been curious about this since he'd mentioned it at Harley's.

Juice sighed. "It's a long story."

"Try me." Roxy stopped packing and sat on the bed. Curiously piquing.

Juice took it as a good sign that she was willing to listen so he sat on the chair in the corner of the room opposite where Roxy was sat on the bed. He knew sitting next to her on the bed would be pushing it.

Rubbing his hands over his mohawk he took a deep breath before starting.

"I ruined the RICO case for the Feds when I killed Miles. He'd been the one willing to rat on the club. So without him they had nothing. So they came back to me with more leverage. They had photos of you all cosy with that Mayan in the bar the night he disappeared. Told me that if I didn't cooperate then you'd find yourself in jail for the rest of you childbearing years, as Roosevelt put it. So I had to tell them about a club meet up and they kept me in. That's where I was when Clay got shot. All that shit played on my mind and that's why I'd tried to hang myself. I betrayed the club. They could have gone to jail again because of me. But the club overall would be safe. You'd be safe. It was a small price to pay. But it got too much for me."

Juice was rambling now so Roxy caught him off. "Ok. So what does that have to do with you banging Crystal."

Juice looked down again. "I just felt like shit. So much stuff happened, we were fighting coz I thought you'd lied and cheated on me-"

"So you thought cheating on me would solve it?" Roxy scoffed.

"No, just, I dunno. But then Clay told me I had to 'own my pussy' or some shit and that night after our argument I felt shitty and she was there and was nice to me and looked after me like she had been doing and that's when it happened. Fuck. I'm so sorry. I just let everything go to my head. But it never meant anything. I swear. I just love you Roxy. So much."

He was ramping up again so Roxy cut him down. "You listened to relationship advice from a man who not only beat the fuck out of his wife but who also referred to his own daughter as 'pussy'. You are an idiot."

"I know. I know I am. But I need you Roxy. I love you. Please just unpack your shit."

"It's too late for that Juice. I never cheated on you. Kozik was a mistake, but at least I'd had the decency to break up with you first. If I hadn't I'd never have been upset enough to get into bed with him. Then that Mayan thing, that was the day I'd come to see you after Kozik told you. You'd all but told me you never wanted to see me again so I decided to go to Stockton to get fucked up. Lucky for me Opie had tailed me in." She got up to start packing again. "That guy bought me some drinks, then when I went to leave wanted my number. I thought maybe everything wouldn't be so bad. I'd fucked up with you but maybe someone else out there would be my second chance. But then he followed me out to my car. If Opie hadn't got there in time I'm sure he'd have raped me. It wasn't till Opie killed him during their scuffle that we knew he was Mayan. So Opie hid him in Hale's new development. We didn't tell a soul because the club would have been implicated in his death and Opie would have copped the flak." Roxy finished getting her clothes so made her way to the ensuite for toiletries. "The most I did with him was flirt. That's all."

Juice's heart clenched more and more with every second of her confession. He'd fucked up royally. When she'd put her toiletries in the bag she scanned the room to check for anything urgent she'd want to take with her.

"I should go." Roxy said as she moved to pick up her bag.

Juice caught her arm and spun her to him. "No please, Roxy don't leave me." Juice had tears in his eyes now and Roxy watched as his jaw clenched slightly, fighting back tears.

"I'll come back with the prospects when you're out one day. Collect the rest of my shit." She pulled out of his grasp and moved to the door.

"Roxy no. I didn't mean any of it."

"Juice you sent her multiple, explicit messages, met up with her more than once, and told her things about us she didn't need to know. What part of that was an accident?"

"I know it wasn't an accident. But you had to know where my head was at."

"How'd you feel when you thought I'd fucked that Mayan? When you'd imagined us together? That's how I feel. Only I have detailed descriptions of you two together thanks to your messages. I know where she's touched you, kissed you, had her mouth on you. You've had sex, she's screamed your name, you've probably called out hers, not mine, and now you want me to forget all that hurt? I don't think I'll ever be able to." Roxy left their old room.

Juice followed her to the living room and watched as she slipped her shoes back on. His heart warmed knowing she'd put them there just to keep his OCD happy, but cracked when he knew she was leaving for good.

"Roxy baby please. You can't leave me." The panic was evident in his voice now. "I can't be alone. I don't do so good on my own."

Roxy moved closer to him and took his hand in hers. Juice's heart soared for a moment thinking she'd taken pity on him. It wasn't the best reason to stay but he'd take it.

"I know. But you'll have to find someone else that's not me. I can't do this for you. Not with that betrayal. I won't be happy." She stood on her toes and pressed a kiss to his mouth. She'd wanted to feel his soft warm lips just one more time. So pushing all thoughts of Crystal from her mind she kissed him.

Juice relished the feel of her lips on his; soft, warm, and inviting. He squeezed her hand and tried to move his free one up to cup her cheek but she moved back.

"I'll see you around Juice." Roxy picked up her bag, opened the door, and crossed the veranda to her car.

Juice watched as she backed out and drove away, a few tears finally escaping as he watched her car turn out of his street and her tailgate fade from view.


	69. Chapter 69

Juice sighed, he was sitting at the bar in the clubhouse waiting for Bobby with the others. After his morning from hell with Roxy he wanted to be anywhere but here.

Luckily, though, Bobby had good news about the guys' protection inside so that was one thing off their minds. But now they had to get to a meet.

Juice walked out into the lot towards the van with Clay. He was responsible for driving him around. He chanced a glance towards the office, hoping to maybe see Roxy but she wasn't there.

Gemma stopped to talk to Bobby and he didn't miss the dirty look she threw him and Clay. He avoided her gaze and continued to the van, resigning himself to the fact that trying to win Roxy back was probably a futile effort.

xxx xxx

Roxy had gone back to Harley's to wallow in self pity some more. She didn't want to do anything or see anyone.

Her morning talk with Juice had really drained her. She felt awful but she couldn't just take him back because he felt bad. He didn't feel bad when he slept with Crystal. And now she was the bad guy?

The kiss had been a bad idea. She'd just wanted to feel him one more time, she hadn't remembered their last kiss. It had probably just been a run of the mill good morning kiss or something. So she just had to have that final seal on their relationship. But the kiss had stirred all the emotions inside her into a furious whirlpool. She wanted so desperately to be with him, to forgive him, but then the betrayal, lying, and hurt just washed back up and she couldn't.

Harley was at work and Tara had left before Roxy got back so the house was quiet. However Roxy was stirred from her thoughts by the insanely loud ringtone on her phone. It was her Ma.

Roxy smiled as she answered thinking her mum would be calling to check in on her.

"- Doctor bitch." Gemma must have been muttering under her breath when Roxy answered the call.

"Hi Ma."

"Oh hey baby. Would you mind watching TM for me for a bit?"

"Uhh I'm not really in the mood right now. Had a talk with Juice this morning."

"Oh. Not good?"

"Nope. We are done."

"I know he slept with the white trash, baby, but maybe you'll be able to move past it." Before Roxy could respond Gemma launched into the next thing. "Listen I got shit to sort out with Tara real quick then I'll come pick you up and you can tell me all about it. I'll meet you at TM? Just quickly look in on the boys for me? Make sure they're not trashing the office too much."

Roxy knew better than to reject Gemma so she agreed and moved to go get redressed.

Rifling through her bag in her new bedroom she settled on her usual jeans and singlet combo, grabbing the flannel shirt of Juice's that she always wore.

xxx xxx

Juice stood in the car wreckers and watched on while Clay and Bobby met with Luis. When they were finally done he hopped in the van with Clay. He wished he was riding though, that usually took his mind off things, but at the same time he didn't mind driving Clay. He was rough around the edges but Juice felt like the older man respected him whereas his other brothers still treated him like the club joker. The young kid. And they were right, aside from the prospects he was the youngest. Plus although sometimes a bit weird, Clay have him fatherly advice.

And he was in desperate need of some of that at the moment.

"Clubhouse?" He asked as Clay situated himself.

"You know where she's been." It was a statement, not a question and Juice knew he meant Gemma.

"Who? Gemma?" He played dumb. "No. I don't know anything."

"That wasn't a question." Clay said gruffly. "You know where she's been."

"Not really." He was super uncomfortable now. He didn't wanna start shit when he was already on such thin ice with Roxy and Gemma. "I can't, Clay."

The older man took off his glasses and was quiet for a moment before he spoke again. "I lost my seat. Half a lung. If I'm not riding in a month, I lose my vote. She's the only hint I got left." Juice took pity on him now. He knew exactly how he felt. "I just need to find out if it is what I think it is. Her killing time with somebody to hurt me. I ain't gunna set it on fire. I promise. I know shits rocky with Roxy right now. I wouldn't do that to ya." Juice didn't answer. "Please Juice, it's killing me."

Juice sighed deeply. He knew this was gunna come back and bite him on the ass somehow. "Oh, shit." He said to himself, and started the van.

The ride over to Diosa was tense, Clay could tell Juice was on edge.

"So what's happened with my daughter then?" Clay asked gruffly.

"She took some of her shit this morning. It's over."

Clay signed. He knew his advice was probably partly to blame. "She'll be back, eventually. She's just pissed right now. But she loves you. She's just stubborn like her Ma."

"I dunno... Seemed pretty final to me."

"Look we're on our way to a brothel right? Go get yourself hooked up with some random gash. Relax for a little while. Then in a few days you and Rox can figure it out."

"I don't know if she'll like that."

"Don't be a pussy about it. What she don't know won't hurt her. But if it gets you to chill the fuck out I'll be happy."

Juice didn't say anything else for the rest of the drive, just contemplated what Clay had said. Maybe he could go relax for a bit. He didn't even need to fuck anyone. They did massages and shit there. It'd just be nice to feel someone else. It would stave off the loneliness he could feel looming over him with Roxy's departure from their home.

When they pulled up out front he made to help Clay out of the van but stopped when he caught the look on the older man's face.

They'd been in the lobby only a moment when the slightly older Hispanic woman, Juice knew from the other day as Carla, welcomed them.

"What? You ditching another warrant?" She joked.

Juice couldn't help but smile. She had a welcoming personality and she'd taken care of them all the other day after she got over their initial intrusion. Juice knew she was attracted to him, he wasn't being up himself or egotistical, but she had brushed his thigh at the wedding as he reached for some booze. Juice had played it off at the time but here she was again with her 'milf' like attraction.

"Nah just looking around. That ok?" Clay asked as Nero appeared.

"No no it's all good. I'm Nero."

"Clay."

"You got a nice shop." Clay remarked as he looked around.

"Thanks." Nero answered warily.

"This is Gemma's Old Man." Carla warned.

"Yeah and I'm guessing you're the new one." Clay fronted Nero now, Juice on edge behind him. He knew this was a bad idea.

"Look I got no idea what your situations like man. Just know that this right here; is not the place to work it out."

Yup, definitely a bad idea. "Aaaand we should go." Juice stepped in.

"No I'm just getting comfortable." Clay moved past Juice knowing his younger brother would do nothing to stop him.

Juice followed behind Clay and Nero as they walked to the lounge.

"Whoa, is she available?" Clay nodded towards the young blonde girl waiting for someone to pick her up.

"You really think that's a good idea?" Nero questioned.

"Look friend, I'm just a wounded guy in need of a little comfort."

"C'mon Clay." Juice attempted to get Clay to leave once again.

Clay didn't even turn to look at him but commanded, "shut up."

Juice backed down immediately, knowing he was way out of his depth. "Okay."

Clay moved over to start chatting up the girl who'd caught his eye.

"You think he's up to that?"

"I don't know."

Nero figured it was best to just leave them to it and went back to his office. Juice was about to turn around and go outside for a smoke when he felt someone's hand in his.

"C'mon baby. It's time to graduate."

Juice looked Carla up and down, figured he may as well get some comfort of his own while he was there.

"Really?

"Really." Carla started leading him back towards a therapy room and he happily followed along, ready for some comfort to take his mind off things.

"What are you doing?"

"What? You think you're the only one who gets to play with the white trash?" Carla sassed Nero as they passed, but Juice hung back.

"Actually I'm Puerto Rican."

Carla tugged on his hand. "Stop talking honey."

"Okay." Juice paused. "Wait, is he charging me?" He half joked, but at the same time he didn't want Roxy to find a possible paper trail of this.

"No, but I should." Carla winked as she pushed him into one of the rooms.

xxx xxx

Gemma had picked Roxy up from TM, as promised, but their catch up was already over as Gemma commanded Roxy buckle up before taking off to Diosa as fast as possible.

Turns out Clay was there probably causing drama. Drama Roxy did not want to be involved in. Especially if hookers were also involved.

Roxy followed Gemma in like a little puppy dog, she would have stayed outside and smoked had she not been worried for peoples' wellbeing and safety around an angered Gemma. She stopped dead when she heard Juice's chuckle emanating from the hallway. This wasn't going to be good.

And she was right. Juice was busy pulling his tshirt back on as an older woman Roxy had seen around the other day followed him with a satisfied smirk.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, his smile instantly dropping.

"Where is he?" Gemma demanded at the same time as Juice cursed.

"Who?" He faked, unable to take his eyes off Roxy as she turned to leave.

"Really?" Gemma huffed some more but Juice didn't hear her, eyes trained on Roxy's disappearing figure until he noticed Gemma storming past him.

"Do you want me kicking in every god damn door?"

Juice sighed and turned to chase after Gemma and try conduct some damage control. Damage control with Roxy would be impossible right now.

He cursed himself for being so stupid, he knew this would bite him on the ass. But he wanted to feel wanted. Even if only for 10 minutes. Clay was right. He was a massive pussy.


	70. Chapter 70

**A/N: so excited to have reached 100 reviews! Thanks sliverofmelody, stordec, and the guests who review faithfully ever chapter! You keep me going!**

Harley had a previous engagement that night for work that was super important some sort of networking thing. She offered to cancel to be with Roxy but she insisted Harley go. So Roxy took Gemma's car and drove back to Charming, after the incident at Diosa Gemma had decided to stay the night so she let Roxy take her keys.

Thankfully Juice had been busy patching up Clay's prostitute, Emma Jean, so she hadn't needed to see him.

Roxy was going to just head back to Harley's and drink some wine or something but Tara called and asked if she wanted to come over to her house for dinner with Bobby and Happy, who were watching over her.

Roxy agreed on the proviso that Juice wasn't invited. Tara assured her he wasn't seeing as he was helping Clay who definitely wasn't invited.

To be honest, Roxy wasn't all that annoyed that he slept with Carla, hell he'd already slept with Crystal, but she'd seen how panicked he was that morning at being alone. She knew he'd seek comfort out somewhere and she couldn't blame him. Juice didn't have any friends outside the club, and that macho testosterone fuelled environment didn't offer the chance for heart to hearts and comfort. Juice thrived on contact and he needed that emotional contact with someone all the time. She was even starting to understand his reasoning for sleeping with Crystal. Rich hadn't been available emotionally due to their fighting and it pushed him to her. Juice just didn't realise that sex didn't necessarily mean emotional connection. Probably a product of his upbringing.

"Roxy?" Tara called, it mustn't have been the first time she'd called her. "You want a drink?"

"Oh. Sure. Thanks." She accepted the beer Tara offered her. She would have preferred something other than beer but she didn't want to be rude.

They sat around talking, enjoying the company, Roxy still being distracted. But everyone stopped when the landline rang. It wasn't often that people called the home phone so they all jumped. Tara eventually answered. Although they all wish she hadn't.

xxx xxx

Roxy hadn't stopped crying all night. Bobby and Happy eventually left around 1am but Tara and Roxy stayed up with some weed and wine and drowned their sorrows. Opie didn't deserve to die. Not in jail. They were sketchy on the details seeing as Jax didn't have the time to tell them too much on the phone. But whatever had happened probably wasn't pretty.

Roxy went with Tara the next morning to wait for the guys at the clubhouse. Roxy went to see Tig and Chibs while Tara greeted Jax.

She wrapped Tig in a hug first, he gripped her shirt briefly before pulling back. "I'm so sorry Tiggy."

"Don't me. S'my fault." He chocked slightly on the words, probably holding back a tear.

"Don't be silly." She squeezed him again and kissed his cheek before moving to Chibs for an equally strong hug.

By that point Jax was free and Roxy practically jumped on him. They weren't the closest of siblings due to the nature of their lives but he was still her big brother and she hated that he was in such pain. Opie and Jax were inseparable growing up and insufferable for Roxy as a young girl. But in recent months Opie had been there for her when no one else would or could be. And she would be forever thankful.

"I'm so sorry Jax."

"Me too Rox." He grasped her hair and held her close.

When they finished their embrace Roxy made her way over to TM to start her day, Gemma had been MIA since yesterday afternoon at Diosa so Roxy figured she must be with that Nero guy. She didn't mind as he seemed a nice enough guy, but if it meant Gemma was going to keep ditching out on her and sticking her with TM then she wouldn't be happy.

xxx xxx

The fall out of the news from the last night was heavy, Juice couldn't fathom how hard it must have been for Jax, Chibs, and Tig to watch Opie go out like that. Especially for Jax.

As they sat around the table the tension was thick and heavy, Jax had said that he felt Opie had been looking for a way out since Donna died and Juice knew that feeling. The feeling of being hopeless, lonely, at a loose end. He'd been that way before and he was slowly finding himself drifting that way again now without Roxy.

After the meeting they had a few jobs to do, which involved Juice driving Clay around as usual, however they ended up back in the clubhouse that afternoon. Clay wanted to try get his strength back and so Happy, Frankie Diamonds, and Juice took him to the weights room.

They were halfway through a workout when Gemma and Roxy interrupted.

"I need to talk to you." Gemma demanded. Roxy turned on her heels when she realised that Clay and Juice were both in there and scarpered out, not wanting to be witness to a show down between her parents. "This is the part where the rest of you get the hell out."

Juice jumped to attention and he, Happy, and Frankie made themselves scarce. Juice did not want to be in an enclosed space with a wound up Gemma.

xxx xxx

Roxy had been chasing after Gemma to ask her some things for Opie's wake that night when she stormed the weight room. Bobby wanted her to organise some food but she didn't really know what to get for an outlaw funeral, social engagements were always her Ma's job. But seeing that not only was Juice in there but Clay was too. She did not want to be in an enclosed space with either of them so she turned tail and ran.

She quickly ducked in to the clubhouse office and took a few deep breaths before walking back out to head to TM. But Juice obviously had decided to look for her and she bumped right into him as he entered the barroom.

"Roxy! Can we talk?" Juice blurted out as he grabbed her to stop her from falling over.

Roxy was slightly transfixed by his topless body and took a second to flick her eyes up to his face.

"Juice I said everything I needed to say yesterday. I got shit to do." She ripped her eyes from him with one last glance at his chiseled torso.

Juice caught her looking and hid a smirk. "Please. I need to explain yesterday."

"Look I really don't care who you sleep with any more. Even if they are either white trash whores or twice your age." Roxy moved again and tried to make her way past him but Juice grabbed her again.

"Please Roxy." She could see the hurt in his eyes and thought it was from her comment.

She sighed. "Look that was harsh. I'm sorry. Just... Today's not a good day." Her breath hitched.

"I know. That's why I wanna talk." That's when Roxy realised he was probably pretty cut up about Opie himself so she nodded and Juice motioned for her to follow him to his dorm.

When they got inside he shut the door and moved to sit on the bed. Roxy stood frozen at the door, the last time she'd been in here was when she trashed it those few days ago. However now it was completely righted. There were a few cracks on his mirror and it clearly looked like he'd punched a hole in the dry wall next to the bathroom door, but mostly the room was perfect.

"I drank almost a whole bottle of whisky tidying it up before I went to see you at Harley's." Juice responded to her unasked question. Roxy nodded but still didn't move. "The hole I haven't got round to fixing yet." He looked down at the floor for a second before motioning to the computer chair.

Roxy hesitated but decided to sit next to him on the bed. Juice was surprised but kept to himself. Roxy needed the safety and comfort right now that being close to him offered, not that she'd admit it to him.

"I am sorry you had to see that yesterday. I was just so fucking cut up about everything, it just-" Roxy cut him off.

"I know. You just need that connection. It's why I somewhat understand Crystal." He looked hopeful for a second, but Roxy corrected him. "There's no way I approve of it. You are old enough to know cheating is wrong even in that emotional state. And you should know that sex does not equal emotional comfort." She hesitated before continuing. "Maybe you'll learn that for your next girlfriend."

Juice tensed as Roxy said that. There's no way he was giving up on this but he figured that was a battle for another day. "Look I mainly brought you in here to ask how you were after Opie. But now I'm gunna promise you I'll show you I'm worth a second chance."

Roxy couldn't miss the earnest look in his eye, but she was still too hurt to even consider it.

"Do what you want."

They were silent for a few moments. "Look I'm ok. But I gotta get shit ready for his wake so I should go." Roxy moved to stand up.

Juice grabbed her hand but stood up next to her. "I know how much Opie meant to you and, since yesterday morning, how much he really did look after you while I was inside. So if you ever need anything I'll be here." He pulled her in for a hug and felt her relax in his arms, relishing having her there again. Roxy breathed him in, he was slightly sweaty from his workout but he still smelled the same. She was about to tell him the same thing, that he could come to her if he needed. But then he ruined it. "I love you, Rox."

She could hear the pain in his muffled confession, probably a mixture of losing her and a brother in the same two days. But she was still too angry with him to give in like that.

"I gotta go. Just... Look after yourself." It was all she could offer him right now. But at least it showed him she still cared, and that's all he needed.

xxx xxx

Roxy spent the rest of the afternoon flitting between the clubhouse office and the TM office. She was trying to stay out of Juice's way seeing as he wasn't on the TM roster, due to his Clay duties, but all the information she needed was in the clubhouse office. So every time she had to do something else she had to traipse back over there. Juice eventually told her he'd go somewhere else so she could just work there in peace. He could see how had this Opie thing was on her and took pity. His need to get her back was quashed by his need to see her happy. Right now he couldn't do that. So he let her be.

By the time Opie's body had finally been transported to the clubhouse the crowd had grown and there were a lot of people there to say goodbye.

Roxy stayed by the bar as some of the members said their goodbyes. Sneaking in after them to see him once more.

"Oh Ope..." Roxy stifled a sob. He looked so serene, just like he was sleeping.

Roxy wanted to touch him, hold his hand or something but she couldn't do it. She hadn't had the chance to bring something meaningful to put in with him, not that she had anything.

"God you were such a pain to me when I was little. You and Jax. But I don't think I can ever thank you enough for being there for me when all that shit happened. You were probably the most steadfast friend I could have asked for. Jax too. He's gunna be lost without you. I just hope that you and Donna and Piney will all look after us from up there. I think we're gunna need it." Roxy decided to overcome her squeamishness and leant in to kiss his forehead. She remembered the brief smile he gave her as he was packed into the back of the prison transport van only just two days ago. It was as if he knew he wasn't coming back.

"You alright doll?" Tig's voice called from the door.

"Oh. Yeah." She left the room so the others could keep coming in and say their goodbyes.

She made her way through the crowd towards the bar, a very stiff drink was needed. Then someone caught her eye. Earlier on she had called Sara, one of the older and more trusted crow eaters, to rally the troops to come and help out at the wake. Sara had called round and got everyone down to help, so it was no surprise to Roxy that there were a lot of sweet butts and crows running around with food and drinks. What did surprise her was the sight of a certain bruised blonde helping out at the other end of the bar.

Roxy approached her with fire in her eyes.

"Outside. Now." Roxy growled lowly in Crystal's ear.

Crystal hesitated, but didn't want to cause a scene and hurt her chances at hanging around, so she followed Roxy outside.

As soon as they'd cleared the door by a metre or so, Roxy pushed Crystal into the wall with a forceful thud, holding her there with her forearm barred across her neck.

Crystal choked slightly and tried to push Roxy off.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing here?" Roxy hissed. "I thought I'd told you what would happen if you came back here."

Crystal squeaked beneath Roxy's arm so she let up a little.

"I came to help. See how Juice was." She croaked.

"He's not your concern."

"You're broken up now. He's free game."

Roxy forcefully slammed Crystal against the wall, having pulled her back slightly.

"I said you're fucking done, whore." Roxy spat.

Chibs and Clay had been watching the pair in case they got out of hand. But when Roxy had slammed Crystal again they called Jax over as he exited the clubhouse and pointed it out, so he made his way over.

"He told me things about your relationship, the stress, the baby, everything, just pushed him away."

"What did you say?" Roxy and Crystal had been arguing about the infidelity when Jax approached them. "He told you about our baby?"

At Crystal's nod Roxy began to growl and tighten her arm painfully over Crystal's neck, Jax jogged the last few feet and pulled her off, allowing Crystal to fall slightly, gasping for air.

"If this wasn't Opie's wake I'd have killed you by now, bitch."

Juice appeared all of a sudden at Jax's side, ready to help break it up so Jax turned to him and ordered him to get rid of Crystal.

Roxy turned on her heel and stormed off towards the TM office, apologising to Jax and Chibs on her way, still choosing to blank Clay.

Juice sadly watched her for a few seconds before turning to Crystal.

"I fucking told you not to come back here." He spoke lowly.

"I know she moved out. There's no reason we can't be together now."

Juice slammed his hand against the wall in frustration. "I told you I don't want to be with you. If you can't handle being a sweet butt then you should never have come here."

"I could before. But when I started seeing you it changed. I like you Juice."

He could see it in her big, blue, heavily lined eyes, but they weren't the same blue eyes he loved. They belonged to Roxy.

"I should never have done this." He stepped back from her. "You need to leave, don't call me, message me, or come back here again." He sighed. "Don't make me make you." The threat was clear in his now cold voice and Crystal knew she'd outstayed her welcome.

With a tear in her eye she apologised and left.

xxx xxx

Juice had a stiff drink before deciding to go look for Roxy, it felt like all he did now was search her out to apologise. His own fault.

When he wandered over to the TM office the door was shut, when he used his key to open it he found it empty, but then he heard grunts and quiet cheers from the garage. He moved over to the window which looked into the bays and lifted one of the blinds slightly. He had to do a double take. Gemma and Roxy were watching on gleefully as Tara beat the shit out of Carla. He knew it was probably payback for her ratting on Jax and Chibs that morning as they went to pick up Emma Jean. But he couldn't help but feel guilty that Roxy's involvement was due to them sleeping together the day before. Not wanting to interrupt whatever that was he left the office and walked back to the clubhouse.

xxx xxx

Juice caught Roxy's eye as he helped carry Opie's casket through the clubhouse to the hearse. She'd seen this a few times growing up, it had never bothered her before, but Opie was probably one of the closest people, other than Luann, that she knew and had to bury and Juice knew it was just as hard on her as it was on them.

Roxy walked over to Harley and Tara who were both comforting Lyla and gave Lyla a quick hug and kiss on the cheek before they joined the others out in the lot.

After they had carefully placed Opie's casket into the awaiting hearse the crowd slowly dispersed back into the clubhouse leaving the SAMCRO members, Roxy, Gemma, Harley, and a slowly approaching Tara to watch the hearse drive away with their fallen brother. Juice couldn't think of a worse way to go out as he watched his brother leave the lot one last time. His last stint in Stockton almost killed him, he'll he was still facing the repercussions now two months on, he'd never be able to do it again.

He caught Roxy's hand as they approached the garage door and she gasped. Juice looked down to see the fresh cuts and bruising around her knuckles.

"Carla." She answered his unasked question.

"Oh." Juice replied softly.

They moved to stand to the side of the door like Crystal and Roxy had before.

"I, uhm, told Crystal not to come back here again."

Roxy gave a soft smile. "Good. Because I wasn't lying. I will kill her. Or at least try to." She looked towards the ground. Juice couldn't believe he'd turned her into this person. The old Roxy wouldn't have threatened someone like that, or beat Carla up. "How could you tell her about our baby?"

The sudden question and hurt look in her eyes caught him off guard. "I don't know Roxy. I'm fucked up. I was drunk just ranting and she listened."

"Before or after sucking your dick?"

Juice rolled his eyes. "It wasn't like that."

"Yeah... Well... Maybe this was never a good idea. I just can't believe you'd cheapen that loss by telling someone like her." A silent tear rolled down her cheek and she made her way back into the clubhouse, leaving Juice outside in the cold lot, alone.


	71. Chapter 71

**A/N: I'm leaving for a holiday tonight so trying to update as much before I go. I'll hopefully still be able to update as I go along so should be sweet.**

It had been a couple of days since Opie's funeral and Juice hadn't seen or heard from Roxy. Gemma had been having Rat watch over the office instead of Roxy so she hadn't even been by the clubhouse. Juice had been staying in his dorm, not wanting to be home alone and in the off chance he'd see Roxy around the lot.

He kept seeing the disappointment on her face when she saw him with Carla, wearing his shirt probably because she missed him. Then there was his other major fuck up of confiding in Crystal about how he felt about the baby. He didn't mean to but he hadn't really talked to anyone about it, especially Roxy. He'd been so busy being there for her he didn't really process it himself.

He would have been drowning his sorrows if it wasn't for the amazing day they'd had today taking some blackmail photos to secure a venue for their new venture in Diosa. So instead he was mainlining red bull, sitting on his computer in the clubhouse office, and sifting through endless photos of Venus Van Damme riding a non-consenting Alan Biancone. He had to chuckle to himself again as he recalled Tig's fascination with the lovely Venus, who was clearly more man than Tig was.

He messaged Roxy for, like, the millionth time as he waited for Photoshop to load. He figured she'd blocked his number by now. Juice had considered locating her phone on his laptop, but he thought that would be one step too stalkerish.

Jax interrupted his thinking as he came in to check out the pictures.

"So, uh, do you know where Roxy is?" He sheepishly asked.

Jax considered for a moment before taking pity on him deciding to tell him. "Harley took her to Reno for a few days. Let their hair down and shit, get away from all this crap."

Juice nodded. "I am sorry for everything. Wish I could change it all."

"Dude, like I said before, I ain't one to judge for the extra-marital shit, but you kinda messed up big. But let her cool off a few days. I know my sister. She'll be back eventually."

Juice nodded. He sure hoped Jax was right, and that Roxy wasn't having too much fun in Reno.

xxx xxx

Harley had taken Roxy to one of the nicer hotels in Reno. They'd packed their bags for a few days stay deciding to just see where things took them. They'd been there for four days now just drinking, swimming, gambling, and dancing. It'd been a great 4 days so far and if it wasn't for Juice's incessant messaging she would have been having a great time. By the second day Harley had confiscated Roxy's phone, sick of her scowling at it every 10 minutes.

They'd decided that night to hit up one of the nearby clubs and finally Roxy was really letting herself have fun. The pair were currently being bought drinks by two, very good looking guys who'd invited them back to their suite for a 'private party'. Harley looked to Roxy for an answer and when she shrugged and smiled Harley grabbed her by the hand and they followed the two over to catch a cab.

xxx xxx

By the time a week was up Juice was on edge completely. He'd stopped sending Roxy as many messages. Just one each morning to tell her how much he loved her.

Over the course of the week things had gone nuts back in Charming. He'd been happy with the developing father/son relationship he had going with Clay. Helping the ex president, disgraced or not, felt like an honour. And when Clay praised him it kinda lit him up for a while. He never had anyone praise him except for Roxy so for someone as important as Clay to do it really set Juice off.

But that was until things started going pear shape with the Nomads. Juice was starting to piece things together and Clay's relationship with the Nomads was just too close for comfort. But surely Clay wouldn't have his own daughter attacked... Would he?

His musings about the home invasions were cut short when he heard the news of Chibs and Jax's attack and them being run off the road. He went to Clay's straight away to see if he needed a lift to the hospital. It was while he was waiting at Clay's he got the news of Gemma's car accident with the boys.

Now they were all congregated in the hospital waiting room trying to round everyone up. Juice had been tasked with calling Roxy but she wouldn't answer his calls or messages. So he started on Harley.

It was pretty late at night so he figured they'd probably be asleep but when Harley finally answered he was proven wrong.

"Soooo Juicy! Get tired of calling Roxy so you've started on me?" Harley was obviously drunk and Juice rolled his eyes. Some of his fears about their little trip coming true.

"No. Just you and Rox need to get here. Gemma and the boys had a bad car accident." Juice could hear Roxy giggling in the background accompanied by some male laughter. He could feel his blood boiling as he gripped his phone.

"Oh shit. Are they ok?"

"Yeah I guess. Abel's gotta have a procedure to correct his heart beat but other than that they're fine. Gemma's just a bit banged up." He answered through gritted teeth, hearing Roxy's flirtatious tone in the background, though he couldn't quite make out what she was saying.

"Ok. Well as you can probably hear we are both slightly intoxicated. We won't be able to drive till the morning. So in the meantime we'll be getting back to our company." Harley giggled.

"Who's that?" Juice could hear Roxy's muffled voice through the phone.

"I'll tell you in a minute." She called to Roxy. "We'll see you tomorrow." She directed to Juice.

Just as she was hanging up he could hear Roxy's squeal, he knew what that squeal meant and he could feel the heat rise through his body picturing everything he'd ever done to her to elicit that squeal. He snapped his phone shut and stuffed it back in his pocket, resisting the temptation to throw it at a wall.

An hour or so later he'd slowly managed to calm himself down, though the jealousy still raged inside him. He guess he knew how Roxy felt now and they weren't even together. He didn't remember even feeling this uptight about Kozik. Probably because he knew Kozik, and knew their thing was a complete mistake. This time he didn't know who she was with or what they were doing.

He was snapped out of his thoughts by the arrival of Roosevelt in the waiting room. He wanted everything they had on the Nomads.

"I'll pull what we have on them." He was keen to have an excuse to leave the hospital so was in a rush to get back to the clubhouse. He needed a blunt right now to calm himself.

"Ortiz. Can I see you for a moment?" Roosevelt commanded.

"Why?"

"Now!"

Juice looked at Clay and Bobby for help but they both said nothing. "Aw, man." He followed Roosevelt round the corner to another waiting area.

"I need to know where Frankie Diamonds is."

"We got no idea." Juice replied.

"Is he the one calling the shots?"

"I dunno, man."

"Well then find out."

Juice moved closer then. "Who do you think I am, dude? I don't know shit, man."

A doctor bustled past then, shutting Juice up.

"You seem a little nervous. I bet you Clay's real curious about our private little conversation right here."

"You're gunna get me killed."

"That concern left me when I watched my wife die." Roosevelt turned and left Juice open mouthed in the corridor. He had no comeback to that, Roosevelt had no idea how this shit worked. He didn't think Roxy did either. She was in just as much danger as he was now. Not only would she be in mega shit with the club for the Mayan kill but also for her being a rat's Old Lady. Separated or not.

xxx xxx

Juice went back to the clubhouse later on, not wanting to be around when Roxy and Harley got to the hospital. Plus he still had to find that shit for Roosevelt on the Nomads.

He was at his desk in his dorm, head in the clouds when Clay knocked on his door.

"What are you doing here?"

"I hate hospitals." He responded gruffly.

Juice chuckled nervously, Roosevelt's earlier conversation playing in his head.

"Yeah, I get that." He watched as Clay took a seat on his desk. "All I have is dues payments, for the Nomads. Think that's cool with Roosevelt?"

"Yeah, this stuff won't tell 'em shit." He was quiet for a second. "Anything you need to tell me? About Roosevelt?"

"No, why?"

"Well he's been pressing you pretty hard since we got outta Stockton."

"Yeah, I guess." Juice shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Why just you?"

"I dunno."

"I think you do."

"He's just an asshole cop, man." Juice moved to get up but Clay pushed him back down.

"What's he know, Juice?"

"Nothing. Come on Clay."

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm not."

"Hey. You can tell me the truth, son."

The son part broke his resolve slightly. Juice had been called a Son more times than he could count. But son? That was something no one had ever called him. It stirred up the closeness he'd been feeling to Clay since his hospitalisation.

"Please Clay, I can't."

"You got no choice." He waited. "Tell me."

Juice took a deep breath before shaking his head and letting it all out. "Eli and this US attorney found out some stuff about Roxy. Bad shit. Said if I didn't help em out that she'd go away, for life. Needed me to give them some information."

"For what?" Clay was shocked.

"A RICO case. Otto flipped, gave them past crimes. But the Feds want the Irish and the cartel. Said if I could give them the Irish meet that they'd spare Roxy and save the club."

"Shit. What did they have on Roxy?"

Juice sighed, resigned, seeing no way out of this. "When we were in Stockton and had that break up and she slept with Kozik, Kozik told me. Roxy came to see me a couple days later but I told her it was over. So she went to a bar in Stockton after she left and met this guy. A Mayan. She didn't know that at the time, but they had a couple drinks, he got her number and she left to go home. But he cornered her in the car park and tried to rape her. Luckily Opie had been tasked with watching her and had followed her to the bar. He intervened, it got outta hand, and Opie killed him. Roosevelt doesn't know for sure he's dead, but figures it's pretty obvious. They got security footage of Roxy and him together. She's the last person to see him alive, obviously, and they threatened to charge her with the murder."

"Jesus Christ."

"I had to cooperate. Not only would she be in jail but the club would also have to deal with her, and would have had to sanction Opie for the kill. I couldn't risk either of them being caught up in that shit. So I gave them the meet."

"That RICO case, went away?"

"Feds couldn't make it I guess. Cut me loose. Not sure about Otto."

Clay took a deep breath and exhaled. Then they were silent for a moment.

"I sent the Nomads to the trailer. Unser took down Gogo. I killed Greg."

Juice looked at him. "What happens now?"

"Well, you take this bullshit Intel to the sheriff, and I catch up on some paperwork."

"Clay, I didn't..."

"Listen to me. Everyone at that tables done something that puts them outside the reaper. At least you did it protecting my daughter. Look, self-disclosure kills the group. Now what we've just shared here makes us even, honest. We're connected. Nobody else needs to know. That's how it works." He clapped Juice on the shoulder and left.

Juice felt some relief at his words, some of the guilt of ratting on his brothers was eased, Clay approved of him looking after Roxy and doing what he had to do. That's what an Old Man does after all, right?

xxx xxx

When Roxy and Harley made it back to Charming it was nightfall. Reno was only four hours away but they had massive hangovers after their night and it took them a lot longer to recover, pack, and drive back to Charming than they'd expected.

Roxy knew she was just doing exactly what her Ma had been doing to forget Clay in her attempts to forget Juice. But the guys they'd met at that club weren't too bad and they'd spent a couple more nights partying together before Juice had called Harley to let her know about the crash.

Roxy had called her Ma to find out where she was and it turns out she had been discharged and told Roxy to head to the new Diosa venue.

When Harley dropped Roxy off she noticed Jax's bike in the lot so she rushed inside to see her family.

When she got in the door Nero greeted her.

"Roxy huh?" He smiled warmly at her.

"Yeah. Nero?"

"Yeah." He gave her another sympathetic smile. "Look your Ma is, uh, not doing good. Tara cut her off from the boys."

"What? Why?"

"She was high when she crashed driving those boys."

"Oh ma..."

Nero pointed her to the room where Gemma was and let her in. Jax and Gemma were just finishing off.

"Jax! You ok? Chibs? The boys?"

"Yeah yeah we're all fine." He accepted her hug and gave her a kiss. He turned to leave then giving gave Gemma a look before going out to his bike.

Roxy rushed over and gave her Ma a hug. "What happened?"

Gemma gave a little sob. "Tara's banned me from the boys. It's my own fault."

"Oh Ma." Roxy cradled her mother and let her cry it out. Perhaps wishing she'd just stayed in Reno seeing as things have gone to shit in Charming.

xxx xxx

Juice hadn't a chance to see Roxy since she got back the night before. Today they had been on a mad hunt to find Frankie Diamonds resulting in a shoot out at the lake house. Juice had him at gunpoint and Frankie had been saying some weird shit about Clay putting all the home invasions in motion. Confirming Juice's suspicions. But as sure as he was he couldn't hand Clay over like that. They were bonded now, he didn't turn him over about RICO so he couldn't betray him like this.

He wasn't surprised when he went to the garage and Roxy wasn't there. He listened to Phil and Clay ramble on about shit while he stared at the bike, that had been getting repaired, in front of him. This shit with Clay and the unresolved situation with Roxy was killing him. He didn't know what to do any more.

Eventually he found himself back at Clay's house fixing his bike. The mechanical work took his mind off things. He liked the way everything fits together just right. The way it should. Everything had a spot and a place and it really set his mind at ease.

He was disturbed from his peace by Gemma's ringing the doorbell.

He figured he should leave them to it. If they could fix themselves then maybe he and Roxy could too. So he decided to ride home and get high and figure out how to get her back.

When he arrived at his house there were cops waiting out front.

"Really? You're sitting on my house?" He was panicked as to what this could mean.

"We are taking you in for questioning."

"For what?"

"The attack at Unser's."

"Now?"

"Which way we gunna do this?"

"This is bullshit." Juice groaned as he accepted his fate. Not noticing Jax watching them leave from the black SUV parked over the road.


	72. Chapter 72

**A/N: hopefully this chapter is a good departing gift while I'm in transit for the next couple of days. As always feedback is appreciated. I don't want the story to get too extreme or unbeleivable so let me know :)**

Juice was brought in to Roosevelt's office and he was fuming.

"Are you kidding me with this shit?"

"All right, shut up and listen. Jax knows it was you who gave up the club, okay? You gotta get out of Charming now."

Juice looked at him, panic coursing through his veins. "You ratted me out?"

"No. I needed Frankie. Ok? I told Jax I would give him some Intel on the rat."

"But Frankie is dead."

"I know. I didn't tell Jax. He already knew that it was you. I'm sorry. Anything I can do?" Juice was fixated at a spot on the ground. "Juice?"

Juice's head snapped up. "No. No I got it. I gotta get Roxy. We need to sort it."

"Roxy? Why Roxy? They don't know about her stuff I didn't tell them."

"She's a rat's Old Lady, her fate is the same as mine." He turned and left before Roosevelt could say any more.

Juice frantically called Roxy as he straddled his bike in the station car park. He'd gotten her voicemail 6 times before she finally picked up on the 7th.

"What the fuck do you want Juice?! This shits getting old take the hint already." She grumbled into the phone. He didn't blame her. It was after 1am.

"Roxy. You gotta come to my place. Now."

Roxy sat up in bed, she could hear the urgency in his tone and knew something serious had to be happening.

"What's going on? You ok?"

"No. Not really. Jax knows about the Mayan. I need to explain. Meet me there. Please."

He hung up and raced home. He had just pulled into the drive when Roxy pulled round the corner in Harley's car. He unlocked the front door and waited to usher her in, leaving all the lights off as he guided her to his bedroom and locked the door.

"Juice? What the fuck? You're scaring me now."

He sat on the bed and motioned for her to join him. He grabbed her hand when she sat next to him, speaking lowly and quickly.

"Jax knows I gave up that Intel on the club to keep you safe from the Mayan murder."

"Oh shit Juice, I'm so sorry, you should never-"

He cut her off. "I'd do anything to keep you safe Roxy, you know that. I'll never regret it. But you know what the club is gunna do to me and the fallback on you. Maybe Jax will take pity knowing that we've broken up, but I don't know. I just wanted to give you the opportunity to save yourself. Maybe if you're the one to hand me over to the club they'll have mercy on you. But before you do I just wanted to tell you how much I love you." He looked in her eyes, noticing the fear there. "I've loved you more than I've ever loved anyone or anything. You gave me like two years of peace, family, and order and I could never thank you enough for showing me that happiness. Every single thing I've done in my life has been a mistake except you. The worst mistake being Crystal. I probably won't have the chance to ever make it up to you now but just know that was my intention. I've never deserved you but please just know I really fucking love you."

Roxy could feel the emotion as it poured out of him and she couldn't help but let a few tears slip. Before she knew it his lips were on hers in a searing kiss and she forgot about all his transgressions, they didn't matter any more and she kissed him back with all the passion she could muster.

"I forgive you." She whispered against his lips.

Juice could cry he was so happy to hear those words. He pushed her backwards so she was lying on the bed and crawled over her, then engulfed her lips with his once again. Roxy gripped his shoulders pulling him as close as she possibly could, trying to get every inch of Juice's body pressed against hers.

As things heated up she pushed him till they were sitting up so she could slide the kutte off his shoulders quickly followed by his tshirt. "Is it shallow to say I missed this?" She murmured as she left a trail of kisses down his chest.

Juice chuckled before pushing her back down and doing the same to her. "No, coz I missed this." He turned his head slightly to suck on the top of her breast next to her crow, making sure to leave a mark behind, and smiling at Roxy's gasp.

Juice continued his trail down towards her pants, pulling them down her legs followed by her panties, he licked and kissed his way back up her thighs across her stomach and up to her breasts, taking his time on each before she pulled him back up to her lips.

Roxy tugged on his bottom lip with her teeth as she tugged his jeans down to free him. Juice groaned as he felt her hand slowly stroking him, after a few seconds he had to pull back so he could stand up and shimmy his jeans and boxers off.

Before he climbed back onto the bed he just had to take a moment to appreciate the sight before him, Roxy with her hair mussed up, chest heaving with her hard breathing, and her skin flushed from their groping and kissing. His heart sunk slightly thinking this could be the last time he saw her like this.

"JC quit staring and get over here. I want you." She beckoned.

He didn't need to be told twice he crawled up the length of her body, peppering kisses and love marks until he settled between her legs with his lips ghosting over hers. Roxy slid her hands around his neck and pulled him right in for a kiss as he pushed into her. She moaned into the kiss and moved her hips up to meet his as he set a deep and passionate rhythm.

Juice relished the sound of his name falling from her lips, something he thought he'd never hear again, he wanted this to go on forever, but Roxy's climax brought his on seconds after.

Juice rolled over and pulled her against his chest as they both recovered. A few silent moments later their breathing slowed and Juice felt her tracing designs on his pecs.

"I want to go back to the way we were before. Like before Crystal, Stockton, hell even Ireland. I want you to be happy again and for us to be full of that crazy life again. Not this secretive darkness."

Juice caught her hand and brought it to his lips. "Me too." He whispered as he kissed her hand. "But I think it's gunna be a mayhem vote for me."

"No. Baby, we'll figure it out. Talk to Jax yeah?"

"You think he's just gunna let me off with this?"

Roxy sighed. "Maybe not off but he'd surely go easier on you, you did it for me and the club after all babe. It's got to count for something, right?"

"Maybe." He played with her fingers absentmindedly as he used his other hand to stroke through her hair. "Say he does go easy on me, you willing to move back in here? Try things again."

Roxy chuckled. "I think that's obvious." She moved to lean up on her elbow so she could look properly into his eyes. "But babe, we can't do this shit again. I can't go through that another time. This-" she pointed to her crow- "means you can't do that to me. Not with some crow eater or sweet butt." She cleared her throat. "I'd do anything for you Juice, anything to make you happy but I can't be ok with that. It killed me that you could just throw me aside like that. I'm devoted to you 100%, only reason I slept with Kozik was because I was devastated at breaking up with you, thinking that I'd ruined us forever. But Crystal? That was a conscious decision on your part to stray, multiple times, and betray me not just sexually but emotionally, telling her that shit about the baby, makes me feel like less of a woman already knowing I'm probably not going to be able to give you a child when she could." Roxy let a few tears slip.

Juice brushed the tears off her face. "I swear I'm never gunna treat you like that again. You're everything to me. Baby or not. And once we figure out this club shit we'll look into the fertility treatments ok?"

Roxy nodded. "Ok." She curled back into his side again. "Let's get some sleep. Could be a tough day tomorrow."

But Juice didn't care what tomorrow might bring. He was happy he could stay here tonight with her in his arms.

xxx xxx

The next morning, after another round of making up, and much coaching from Roxy they made their way to Jax's house. Tara was surprised, but happy, to see them together again and told Roxy she'd want the details after work.

Roxy played with Abel while Juice moved to the kitchen to talk to Jax. She was totally eavesdropping, but she needed to know if she had to step in.

"Want some coffee?" Jax started nonchalantly.

"I'm good."

"So what's going on?"

"I know you know." Juice cut to the chase. "Eli told me... Hoping that I'd split." It was quiet for a moment and Roxy strained to hear if anything was happening. "No friends... No family. All I have in the world is Roxy. I couldn't leave her, especially not to face my mess. Plus things would turn to shit no matter where I went."

Another moment of quiet. "I know about your dad. But Chibs cleared that up with you after Miles. So what's the leverage?"

"You're not gunna like it. Feds had us on RICO. They wanted the cartel and the Irish more than us. They originally tried blackmailing me about my dad like you said but when I rejected them they went after Miles. That obviously fell through and that's when they came at me again... through Roxy."

"What do you mean 'through Roxy'?"

"When we broke up in Stockton and she slept with Kozik she came to see me to apologise. I told her to get fucked and she left the visitation and went to town to get drunk. Met this guy at a bar and gave him her number. But when she left he cornered her in the car park. Things got ugly, but luckily Opie had been tailing her and he stepped in. Ended up killing the guy. It was only after he was dead they realised he was Mayan."

"Holy shit."

"Opie covered it up and they figured nothing would happen. But this US Attorney had photos of them, she was the last known person with him so he threatened me that she'd be charged with his murder. I couldn't let that happen dude. So I gave them the meet. They said they'd spare Roxy and the club as a whole and only arrest the brothers at the buy."

"So my family and I would be fucked, none of the guys would get a say in their fate and you'd be sitting pretty at home with Rox?"

"I was just trying to protect the club, and your sister."

"Shut up!" Jax yelled. Roxy was about to make her way back in when she heard Jax continue. "Do you want to earn your way back in? A pardon?" That was not what she had expected.

"What does that mean?"

"It means you do everything I tell you to do and I make sure your betrayal never hits the table. It stays between us."

"Yes of course. This club is all I got. You know that. Just tell me what you need me do."

It was then that Abel started crying saying he needed the potty so Roxy had to go take him.

By the time she came back Juice and Jax were wrapped up and Juice was getting ready to leave. He gave Roxy a small, reassuring smile, as he waited for her to pass off Abel.

"I'll meet you outside JC."

"Ok."

Roxy pushed Abel back toward his toys and turned back to her brother. "I don't know what transpired but I'm assuming that him walking out of here with me means no mayhem?"

"No mayhem. He's got some club shit to do but he's got a pardon, if he follows through." He looked her up and down with concern. "Told me about you, Ope, and the Mayan. How come you never said?"

"Ope didn't want me in trouble and I didn't want him sanctioned for the dirty kill. So we kept it to ourselves."

"Mm. Well secrets are setting shit on fire round here." Another pause. "You and Juice back together then I take it?"

Jax noticed the sparkle in Roxy's eyes as she answered him. "I love him Jax. Like you and Tara kinda love. I'd do anything for him. Go anywhere with him. I don't care so long as it's with him."

Jax noticed the implied meaning behind her words. If anything happened to Juice she'd be going down with him. Something he'd feared she would say.

"I hear ya sis. Just don't do anything stupid. I love you."

She smiled. "I love you too. Thanks Jax."

Roxy softly shut the door behind her and made her way to Juice's bike where he waited with her helmet. Roxy took it from and fastened it before jumping on the bike behind him, excited to be riding bitch with him once more.

"So that's great news babe. I told you it'd work out fine." She excitedly whispered into his ear before kissing his head and squeezing him with her arms.

"Yeah, great news." Juice was less than enthusiastic as he backed out of the drive and onto the road. Now he had to hand over the only father figure he'd ever had, and probably break Roxy's heart in the process. She may hate Clay but could she ever really love the man who played a part in killing her father?


	73. Chapter 73

**A/N: first update of my holiday. Only have internet at the hotel so doing it while I chill out. Was excited to see they had SOA on the plane, but it was only season 1 so I couldn't write much on there haha. But it was good to see the club happy like they were in season 1 lol.**

"So Jax just gave you a pardon? Just like that?" Roxy queried. They'd made their way back home and Roxy was basking in the relief this news brought. It was funny that two days ago she was ready to kill him but now she was ready to move back in and love him again. Kind of made her regret what happened in Reno when they met those guys but what the hell? She needed a bit of fun for herself to kinda set things straight in her head. Truth be told she'd missed him the second she started kissing the other guy. She didn't know if it was the love or something else but no one could ever compare to him in bed even just kissing he'd rock her world.

"Well not quite. Gotta do some club shit for him first."

"What shit?"

Juice considered the question for a moment but decided on this 'no more secrets' attitude and answered truthfully. "He needs me to hand over Clay." He said seriously.

"Oh... Why? What did he do now?"

"You don't want to know. But it's serious. And if I don't then it's me who gets the table."

"I do want to know J. Might make it easier for me to get right with it all."

He sighed lengthily. "Fine. He was the one who ordered the home invasions. Was a way to make Jax's presidency seem shaky." He watched Roxy for her reaction, surprised when he saw pure rage flash across her face.

"He was the reason I was put in the hospital?!"

"Yeah. Apparently."

Roxy couldn't help the angry tears that sprung from her eyes. She felt so betrayed, her own father ordered an attack on her so he could get his seat back.

Juice tried to calm her but she jumped out of his grasp and off the sofa, and began pacing the living room. "He is evil JC. Pure evil. You do this for Jax. For me."

Juice sighed. "Of course I will." He looked conflicted for a moment. "It's difficult though babe. Clay has been like a father to me."

Roxy scoffed. "Well that's nice coz he hasn't exactly been one to me." She stormed off to their room.

Juice sighed and followed her, seeing her sit on their bed with her head in her hands. "I'm sorry."

Roxy scratched her head in frustration before lifting her head up to look at him. "You don't need to be. It's not your fault. He'd always wanted a son and I'm guessing when he and Jax fell out that you filled the spot."

Juice moved over and sat next to her, wrapping his arm around her. "We both have shit dads."

Roxy chuckled. "Tell me about it." She lent her head against her. "Just do it. Do what Jax wants. Clay would turn on you in a heartbeat to save his own ass, so don't feel bad." She was quiet for another moment. "Would they vote mayhem for this?"

Juice shrugged. "Possibly. Depends I guess. He'll definitely lose his patch that's for sure."

"He deserves that."

"And the mayhem?"

"I don't know J. I freaking hate him, but he's still my dad. I guess I keep holding out hope that he'll suddenly want to be good to me."

Juice pulled her back onto the bed and peppered her face with kisses. "I promise I'll be good to you this time."

"Mmm. Good." She smiled and kissed him deeply.

"We've got a while till I need to head over to Clay's." He winked at her.

So Roxy rolled over to straddle him. "Guess we should make the most of it."

xxx xxx

Roxy made her way back to Harley's that afternoon when Juice got the message from Jax to head around to Clay's house. She figured she best pick up her stuff and tell her the good news. And perhaps return her car she'd had since the night before.

"So you're moving back in?" Harley asked incredulously.

"Yeah. Some shit happened but you should have heard what he said Harley, he loves me. Like really loves me. I couldn't turn him down."

"Even after all he did?"

"Yeah. I mean it sucks but I can put it behind me. I think."

"Well as long as you're happy I guess." She smiled at Roxy. "Guess I'm gunna have to let Josh and Chad down gently then." Referring to the two guys from Reno.

"Guess so." She laughed. "Not a word to JC though. He'd lose his shit."

"Fair enough. Though I think he deserves the torment but whatever you say. So what now?"

"Move back in. Get on with life. He was talking about fertility treatments again and all that." She smiled but then at Harley's raised eyebrow she added, "once he's proven himself again. Last thing I want is to end up like the other Old Ladies. Raising three kids while their man runs around on them."

"Good. I think he might have learned his lesson though. I sure hope he has." Harley jumped up off the sofa. "Guess I should help you pack your shit and take you home."

"Guess you should."

xxx xxx

Juice had gone to Clay's as soon as Jax told him the coast was clear. He had to look for some legal documents that he'd taken from the 'stolen' safe.

After an hour of searching he'd come up with nothing that would help Jax. He was admiring one of Clay's engraved guns when he heard Clay arriving back. He shoved the gun back in its box and hid it away again before rushing to the kitchen to pretend to wash up.

"You don't have to do that."

Juice shrugged. "Just came by to see if you need anything. Prospects are doing a Costco run."

"I'm good. Hey sit for a sec will ya Juicy?"

Juice sat at the small dining table and nervously awaited for what Clay had to say.

"You know, I don't think I could have gotten through the past month without you." Juice looked away, shy, at the compliment. "No, no, I mean it. You reminded me of what being a brother really is."

"Thanks man." Juice could feel the conflict rolling over him. This was the man who ordered the attack on his Old Lady, who treats her like crap at every stop, and he didn't want to feel sorry for him.

"I've made a lot of mistakes Juice." Clay sat across from him. Some really heinous shit. Most of it- I can't even begin to tell you."

Juice wanted to know what Clay had to say for himself. "What are you talking about?"

"You get to this point in your life and you start to wonder, are you chasing after shit you don't even want any more?" They were quiet for a moment. "I'm exhausted, son. Just... Watch my back... Please."

Juice looked over Clay and thought of the bad he knew Clay had done. Hell when Roxy was hurt the Nomads were ransacking his own house under Clay's direction and here he was now thanking Juice for everything. But Juice couldn't help understanding where Clay was coming from. He'd lost his wife and his club in a matter of weeks and it would have killed him. Juice knew how desperate he could get when shit hit the fan so he couldn't relate to Clay and understand why he did what he did, even though Roxy was hit in the crossfire. This understanding just made the feeling of betrayal worse. He was giving in Clay, the one man who'd ever helped him, been a father to him, to save his own skin.

They were interrupted from their reverie by the door bell. "I got it."

Juice moved to open the door, finding Gemma on the other side, hands loaded with bags. "I, uh, got two more in the car."

Juice grabbed the last of the shopping from Gemma's car and placed it on the kitchen counter. "I'll see ya later." He attempted to leave but Clay grabbed his arm and pulled him in for a hug.

"Thanks, son."

Juice could feel his heart twisting with Clay's gratitude and Gemma caught the look in his eye, feeling much the same way. Gemma just wanted to move on with Nero, didn't want to be involved in Clay's downfall. But her want to see her grandsons was greater. So she complied with Jax's request.

With a heavy heart Juice left, sighing deeply as he shut the front door, before moving off to his bike and back to the clubhouse.

As soon as he pulled into the lot Jax had him come over.

"How'd you go?"

"Nothing yet." Juice shrugged.

"Ticking clock Juice. You should find it. Soon." He stalked past Juice towards TM.

"What happens when I do? To Clay?"

Jax walked back over with a hatred in his eyes that surprised Juice. "The same thing that happens to you if you don't."

The venom in Jax's voice was chilling, he may as well have spit at Juice's feet.

Juice moved through the clubhouse towards his dorm, just wanting to shut himself off from everything.

He lay face down on his bed and muffled a groan into his pillow. Why did he keep finding himself in positions like this? He just wanted to be happy with Roxy. He'd take her away from here if he could but he knew it was unlikely she'd leave her Ma and Jax. But maybe she would when she knew how horrible Jax was being.

He jumped when he felt fingers on his back, he turned to face the intruder and when he noticed it was Roxy he relaxed and allowed her to continue her ministrations.

"How'd you go?"

Juice sighed again. "Couldn't find it. And I don't know if I want to, to be honest."

"You have to babe. I don't want you in the shit. We're only just getting back on track."

Juice rolled over and pulled her with him so they were cuddled together. "Look we'll sort this out. I promise. But for now, I just need you babe."

Roxy could feel the need in his voice so she turned in his arms and kissed him deeply. After a few moments Juice tangled his hand in her hair, pulling her in closer, if that was even possible. Roxy pulled up his tshirt and ran her hand down his bare chest towards his pants, admiring the chiseled muscles, the tattoo of her name on his neck, the script under his left pec, then his very prominent abs. She reached her destination eventually and made short work of his belt and zipper. After she'd worked his pants down enough she freed him from his boxers and stroked him gently as she kissed his lips, then kissed and sucked her way down his neck, slowly moving her lips down his chest and stomach to meet her hand.

Juice groaned as she took him in her mouth, the feeling relaxing him almost instantly. Roxy gave the best head out of anyone he'd ever been with and it took all his efforts to not come too fast.

When he tried pulling her back up, ready to take her she pulled out of his grasp and pushed him back down and took him deeper in her mouth.

Juice got the hint and laid back, relaxing once again. Roxy decided she would be taking care of him. She missed him and she knew he had an impossible task ahead, one which he was at serious conflict within himself over. If she could help ease that by taking the lead in bed for the afternoon she did not mind.

A few minutes later Juice was breathing heavily and grasping at her hair to pull her down to meet his thrusts. Roxy smirked as he moaned her name, praised her efforts, and cursed in pleasure.

She took a minute to compose herself before sliding back up the bed to join him as he slowed his breathing once again. "I love you baby. This'll all work out. I promise."

xxx xxx

The next morning Juice was just as nervous about everything. He had to do it but it was killing him slowly. All this constant betrayal was not what he thought this life would be about and Roxy was the only one keeping him sane. He thought about her as he unloaded his tools in the garage. He hadn't seen Chibs or Bobby since this all came to light. He wasn't sure if they were actively avoiding him or if it was just by accident. His stomach twisted at the thought of Chibs hating him. Out of all his brothers he and Chibs were the closest and it killed him to think he might have ruined that relationship in his efforts to save Roxy.

While Juice had headed straight to the clubhouse to start work, Roxy had gone round to her Ma's to see how she was doing and figure out if she was needed at the garage. She would work if she had to but she'd prefer to set everything right back at Juice's house once again.

Using her key to open the door into the kitchen she let herself into the house, calling out for Gemma. Roxy stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Clay sitting at the dining table. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Your Ma let me in."

Roxy made a noise of disgust. "Then she's gone mad." She turned ready to leave again, not wanting to be stuck in a room with him especially now she knew the truth behind her attack.

"Wait, please?"

Roxy sighed and turned around. "Why was I never enough for you? Why do you hate me so fucking much?"

The resigned look on her face shocked Clay and he felt his heart break slightly at the hurt he could see there.

"It's my fault Roxanna."

She scoffed. "Of course it's your fault. I'd never done anything to you. In fact I've tried my best to do whatever I could to make you like me. You're my dad, I love you... But you don't love me." She turned and left, just barely hearing him as she shut the door.

"I do love you." Before a cup smashed on the floor.

xxx xxx

Juice watched Roxy pull into the lot as Jax ushered him back into the garage.

"Time's up Juice. I need those documents today. You turn his house upside down. You understand?"

"Yeah okay."

Jax gave him another intimidating look before opening the internal door into the office as Roxy entered through the front.

Roxy was exhausted. After her run in with Clay she drove her jeep up to the lookout and smoked several cigarettes before calming down enough to drive over to TM. When she pulled in she noticed Gemma's car in the lot so made her way over to the office to see what the hell she was playing at.

As she entered the office Chucky was leaving under Jax's orders. She'd seen Jax talking to Juice as she'd walked from her car, hoping he wasn't being too harsh on Juice. Seeing the thunderous look on his face she thought maybe he was being a bit harsh on Juice and she was ready to tear him a new one.

"Give us a minute darlin." Jax's sweet yet direct order made Roxy roll her eyes before she leaned on the wall outside the office and lit up a smoke. Juice caught her eye from inside the garage and she gave him a reassuring smile which he returned as he moved back to the car he was working on.

A few moments later Jax left the office for the clubhouse but Roxy stopped him.

"Hey Jax, can you go easy on him? Please? This shit is hard on him."

"This is club shit Roxy it don't involve you."

"It does Jax. This is all my fault. He wouldn't have done it if he wasn't protecting me."

"Club comes first Rox. He knows that and you know that."

"So, what? You'd have been happy with me going to jail?"

"If it went that way we'd have Rosen and Lowen on it, you'd have been fine."

"No I wouldn't Jax. My affiliation to the club as an Old Lady? They'd have thrown the book at me and I'd die inside. I'd never be able to do time. He had to do this to save me, and Opie." Roxy was pleading now.

"Well none of this woulda happened if you'd kept your fucking legs shut for five minutes instead of hooking up with random dudes at random bars who turn out to be Mayans." The look in Jax's eyes was cold and it surprised Roxy. She'd never have expected him to speak to her like that. It's the exact same shit Clay had said to her in the past.

"You're turning into Clay, you know that? You're trying to take him down but you're slowly turning in to the very thing you hate in the process." Roxy shook her head before turning and going into the office to finally speak with her Ma.

"What was all that about baby?" Gemma had been watching the exchange through the window, concerned for her two children.

"Fucking Jax being an asshole." She flopped down on the sofa opposite her mother at the desk. "I'm worried about him. He's really changing. And not for the better."

"I know, baby." She sighed.

"So why was Clay at your house this morning?" Roxy asked with disdain.

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Call him Clay. He's your father."

Roxy scoffed. "Some father."

Gemma chose to ignore her attitude. "Jax needs me to keep him close for now."

Gemma didn't go into details but it made enough sense to Roxy that she didn't have to. She'd pieces it together from what Juice had told her.

"So they're letting you see the boys again?"

"Once all this shit with Clay is done, yeah."

Roxy didn't get to continue the conversation as her phone started ringing, cutting off their conversation.

Roxy shared a few quick words on the phone before hanging up quickly and grabbing her bag.

"What's wrong?" Gemma was very curious at the change in Roxy's attitude.

"I gotta go see Harley. Otto's killed some nurse at Stockton. He's in big shit now and Harley's out her mind."

Gemma's mind ticked over to Tara. This couldn't be a coincidence. "Ok baby. Give her my love."

Roxy nodded and ran to give Juice a quick kiss then dashed to her car to go save her best friend, because nothing could just go simple these days, could it?


	74. Chapter 74

**A/N: ok so both chapters I've updated on my holiday seem to have errors pop up once I've added them. But the live preview shows the chapters on there. Please let me know if you can see them! I have a feeling there's an issue with uploading.**

Roxy rushed around to Harley's as quick as possible and found her in her kitchen with a bottle of tequila and a joint.

"Fuck Harley. What happened?"

She looked up at her friend with red rimmed eyes. "I don't know." She sobbed. "Killed some nurse that was treating him in the infirmary."

Roxy moved across the room and gave her best friend a hug. "Oh Harley, I'm so sorry."

"I just don't get it. I know he was on death row for killing that guy, but that was retaliation for his attack. This was just so out of character for him. And now I'm never going to be allowed to see him again."

Roxy comforted Harley for what seemed like hours. It was the first time she'd ever seen Harley worked up like this. Otto and Harley had always had a great relationship. One which Roxy was frequently jealous of. When they were kids Otto had doted on Roxy as much as Harley, and she loved her uncle Otto for that, but it just wasn't the same. Whenever Harley had come to their house for sleepovers Clay was always less than impressed as opposed to Otto's fun filled nights with pizza and movies. It was a complete juxtaposition to his tattooed, biker appearance.

It started to make her think about her relationship with Clay now. Harley would probably not get to see her father face to face ever again. Roxy had that opportunity and she wasn't sure she wanted to give that up now. She was beginning to feel the conflict Juice was at their current predicament. If she allowed Juice to go through with Jax's plan she'd lose her dad for good, no chance of ever repairing that relationship. But if Juice didn't go through with it then she'd lose him and her future.

As she hugged her friend she prayed that there would be some sort of reasonable solution to this.

xxx xxx

Meanwhile, on the other side of town, Juice was frantically searching Clay's house. He had to find those papers, Jax had all but threatened his life and he knew his time was running out.

Juice was dripping with sweat, both from nerves and the heat in the house as he searched high and low. He'd just about given up under the air vent when he noticed the papers flicking with the breeze inside it.

Juice managed to get them out of the vent and rifled through them, checking to see they were what Jax was looking for. Relief coursing through his veins he called Jax to let him know. Jax asked Juice to get Chibs, Tig, and Happy round there with Clay and to wait for him and Bobby.

After Juice had called everyone he relaxed in one of the chairs, his life was safe, and Roxy would be happy, but now he had to hand over the man that had become some sort of mentor for him. Juice had no idea how bad a mentor Clay was, but he respected him, Clay had given him the time and understanding that none of his other brothers had in recent years. Despite the havoc Clay's advice has wreaked on his and Roxy's relationship he still held a misguided submission to Clay and his directions.

He decided to sit out on the front porch so he could smoke and distract himself. Plus he probably shouldn't be inside the house when Clay got there, it'd look too suspicious. It was after his third smoke when Clay and Tig pulled in at the same time, Clay opening the house for them to come inside.

Happy and Chibs arrived a few minutes later and let themselves in.

"So why does Jax want us here?" Chibs piped up after a few moments.

"Dunno said it was urgent though." Juice replied.

They didn't have to wait much longer until Chibs' phone rang. He spoke quickly and quietly before snapping it shut. "Mexicans got Jackie. We need to meet Bobby at the clubhouse." Chibs led the charge and the group followed him out.

Clay shut the door quickly behind Juice. He knew something was up and he'd seen Juice glancing at the air vent a couple of times, his nerves showing through. He didn't have long but he needed to hide the evidence before the rest of the club found out.

xxx xxx

Roxy had eventually left Harley and headed back to the clubhouse. Harley wanted to have some time alone and when Roxy had heard about Jax she decided she'd go on down and see what was happening. When she arrived at the clubhouse she was greeted by a bloodied Happy who'd apparently taken a shot to the head earlier in the day.

"Jesus Hap, you are one lucky guy." She exclaimed as she inspected the wound.

"Nah, you guys still need me so I decided to hang around."

"Sure sure big guy." Roxy clapped him on the shoulder as she looked around for Juice. She managed to give him a quick kiss before Jax pulled them in for church.

While the guys were in church she had some drinks with Gemma, catching up on the Nero/Clay/Gemma triangle. Roxy felt really sorry for her mother. She'd finally found someone nice in Nero and she knew he'd treat her better than her father did. But now Gemma was being dragged into this Clay business and it was killing her. It was killing Juice too, Roxy knew that. So maybe it's time she stepped in and asked Jax to stop? Or go easy on Clay at least. But she couldn't do that, not after the way he spoke to her yesterday. So she resigned herself to waiting to see how this would all play out.

Some time later the guys all left the chapel, Roxy's eyes were immediately drawn to Juice, who was avoiding contact with Chibs or Bobby as he made his way over to Roxy.

She pulled him in for a kiss and patted his chest before he followed on with the others. After a few moments Jax joined the group and they all had a celebratory shot together. Roxy sidled up next to Juice and slid her hands under his kutte and tshirt, rubbing comforting circles into his skin. She could tell how tense he was and that he needed some comfort right now.

"You three, with me." Jax ordered Chibs, Bobby, and Juice.

"Where to?" Asked Bobby.

"Show and tell."

Roxy could feel Juice tense and knew that now was the time as she watched Gemma lead Clay out of the clubhouse. Before Juice could leave she pulled him in for another quick kiss and whispered in his ear. "Do what you gotta do baby. I love you. I'll be waiting at home for you." Juice nodded, gave her a squeeze and continued out the door with a heavy heart.

xxx xxx

Things could not have gone worse at Clay's. The documents weren't there. Juice had left Clay alone in the house and put Jax's plan at risk. Now he was in the shit, big time.

After Chibs threw him out of Clay's house he slowly rode back the short distance to his house and to Roxy.

He was so glad she was sticking around for him. He didn't deserve it, but he would be thankful every day for it.

When he got home he hung up his kutte and placed his boots in their spot by the door and moved silently through the house to the bedroom. He had no idea if Roxy was awake or not, he hoped she was, but he wouldn't wake her for this if she wasn't.

"Oh baby, what happened?" Roxy was concerned the minute he walked into the room. She was sat up in bed playing on her phone.

Juice remembered the punch Jax had thrown, it spun him round and almost knocked him out. He would have a black eye at the very least.

"I fucked it up. Left Clay alone in the house by accident after I found the stuff. Now it's gone." His defeated tone made Roxy's heart break.

"I'm assuming it was Jax who gave you that black eye?" Juice nodded. "Oh shit baby." She moved over so she was behind him and began rubbing his shoulders. "So what happens now then?"

He sighed. "I don't know. Jax didn't say anything. Guess I just show up tomorrow, see what my fate is."

Roxy leaned over and spoke quietly into his ear. "It'll work out. And if he tries anything then I'll be right there with you. You're not alone in this."

Roxy knew just the right words to say and with her saying she was with him he knew things would have to work out.

The sudden optimism set off a fire inside him and he spun around pushing Roxy back onto the bed. He crawled up her body and kissed her deeply.

"I'm so glad you're mine." He murmured as he kissed down to her crow.

Roxy was enjoying the dominant side of him again and she egged him on, happy to have her Old Man back and just hoping that this attitude could carry over to whatever tomorrow brings.

xxx xxx

Juice was petrified as they arrived at the clubhouse. It was easy for him to be confident and in charge around Roxy, but back in that room with so many alpha males it was easy for him to slink to the back of the pack. Especially now he'd pissed off their leader.

Roxy hopped off the back of his bike after he'd parked it up. He wondered briefly if they'd let her keep his bike when they'd voted Mayhem for him, or if she'd even be allowed back on the lot.

He hadn't realised she was standing in front of him until her hands were on his face. "It'll be ok. I'll be over in the office if you need me."

Juice looked at the bikes around him and nodded, they must be all here ready to go. So he swung his leg over and gave Roxy one last kiss before heading in for the meeting.

Everyone else was already in the chapel when he arrived so he quickly took his seat, shirking Chibs' stare. Bobby grunted a hello as he sat next to him and Juice felt the shame washing over him. Of course none of the others knew what happened so Phil's welcome was a nice change and Juice returned it happily.m, praying that if it was his time to be brought to the table maybe his nice attitude to Phil could save him at least one vote.

xxx xxx

Roxy watched as Chibs came over to the garage to collect Clay. He'd arrived a few minutes ago looking forlorn and worried. Roxy just watched him fiddle with his tools as she smoked sitting on the bars behind the bikes.

Her guess was they would be voting on his membership, if not mayhem, and her stomach was in knots. She'd wanted to go and talk to Clay but she knew now wasn't the time. She just prayed that whatever the outcome that Jax would have the decency to allow her a goodbye. There's no way they'd kill him here so she at least would see him after the verdict.

She stubbed out her smoke and was about to walk over to the clubhouse to be nosey when Jax burst through the door and knocked Clay over a table. She jumped and ran forwards as Jax laid into Clay, unable to prevent herself from yelling at Jax to stop.

Eventually Chibs and Happy pulled him off Clay and she bent over to help him up, none of the others willing to assist the disgraced former president. Not after what they'd heard today.

"Just leave him Rox." Tig called to her. He was livid with Clay. His deceit had caused Tig to kill an innocent woman in his search for revenge which then resulted in Opie losing his life. "He's not worth your help."

Roxy shook her head. "Well someone has to sort this."

"You do realise he was the one behind the home invasions? The ones that put you in hospital?" Tig questioned as Clay batted her hands away, Jax still circling Clay as if he were prey.

Roxy groaned in frustration as Tig pulled her in to the clubhouse after Jax, Bobby, and Juice.

"Jax you can't kill him. Please." Roxy begged. She'd assumed the beat down was just preliminary to the mayhem.

"You're lucky it's only him I want." He growled only loud enough for Bobby and Juice to hear, Tig being preoccupied at the bar.

"You know what Jax? You're so much like Clay now it's not even funny. You're turning in to the very thing you're trying to get rid of, and you'll never be happy." Roxy turned on her heel and followed Juice to his dorm room, only just hearing Bobby as she left.

"She's not wrong there Jax."

Juice groaned as he shut his dorm room door, happy to just have some quiet for a few moments as he could feel a panic attack coming on. He sat on his bed with his head in his hands and took a few deep breaths and tried to calm himself.

Roxy sat next to him and rubbed his shoulders until he relaxed and pulled his head up.

"So what's happening with Clay?" She asked tentatively.

"He's free from mayhem. We've just taken his patch..." He left it hanging.

"For now." She finished for him.

"Well you saw Jax then. He's out for blood and he's right. I'm lucky he's not after me right now. You're probably the only reason why he's not." He groaned.

"Look this shit'll blow over. Now that Clay's out it'll calm down. We'll figure this shit out with Jax too."

"I don't think we're ever going to be happy families again Roxy." He gave her a frown.

"Ha we weren't really to begin with."

The couple were interrupted by Bobby knocking on, then opening the door.

"Jax wants you to head to Clay's. Pack up his reaper shit."

"Ok. On my way." He nodded to Bobby who just gave him another look and left.

Juice turned to Roxy. "At least things are ok for now. Coming with me to help Clay?"

Roxy considered for a moment. Her dad would need someone right now. He was losing the very thing he loved the most in the world. More than her.

"Ok. I'm coming." She grabbed his hand and let Juice pull her out the room to go help her estranged father.


	75. Chapter 75

**A/N: hope you are continuing to enjoy! I'm slowly getting through chapters while I relax on my holiday. I have a tumblr now which I was going to put up bits about how I see Roxy etc it's called sons-of-anarchy-forever let me know if there's anything you want to see about them and I'll add it on there.**

Roxy gingerly sat in Clay's living room while Juice set about packing up all his reaper stuff. Juice was relieved the mayhem vote fell through. There was no way he'd have been able to vote against it as it would have attracted Jax's wrath. So he was glad that Bobby had been able to stop it. Though he doubted Bobby'd be so kind if it came to a mayhem vote for him.

Clay was moving quietly around the house checking on bits and pieces, he'd accumulated a lot of reaper bits and pieces over the years being a First Nine member, so Roxy got up to make some coffees feeling at a lose end. Clay made his way to the kitchen and leant against the arch frame and watched his daughter. He knew he'd never appreciated her for what she was. He took her in, beautiful like her mother, same glossy, thick, brown hair, stubborn and fierce personality, but she had his eyes. Only, behind her crystal blue eyes he could see love, sincerity, loyalty; things he knew you wouldn't see reflected in his, no matter how hard you looked.

"You don't need to do that." He said out gruffly.

Roxy shrugged, not turning to face him. "It's ok. Figure everyone might need one."

Clay shuffled over and sat at the small dining table. He looked over the reaper engraved lighter Roxy had bought him for some event, possibly his birthday, he couldn't remember. He spun it on the table and sighed. Another thing he'd have to hand over to Juice for the collection.

"I'm sorry it's all played out like this Rox. Sorry I wasn't the best dad."

Roxy placed a coffee down in front of him and sat opposite him. "I don't think I can forgive you for what you've done, I mean setting the Nomads on me? That was low." Clay winced. "Then what you did to Ma, that's just not right. But I'm willing to try fix this if you are. All I've wanted was for you to really care about me." She ran her finger along the pattern on her mug.

"Roxy, I've always cared about you. Just not been so good at showing it."

She snorted. "Yeah, you can say that again."

"I just had a different idea for your life than you did."

"Y'know I don't blame you for that. That's the way your life was, I get that those are the roles women played for you. But that doesn't extend to the way you spoke to me when that guy drugged me when I was out with Harley that time, or sending the Nomads on me... I just don't get how you could do that."

Clay fixed her with a forlorn stare. "Those are things I'll never ever be able to take back. But I do regret them Roxanna. I am sorry."

Roxy teared up, she knew he was really feeling guilty and she couldn't help but forgive him. She felt sorry for him, pitied him that he'd lost everything due to his own power hunger and greed. "Ok. Well I'll try and forgive you dad. And I hope we can maybe try salvage some sort of father daughter relationship out of this mess."

"Me too." He leaned over and kissed her forehead just as Juice came in the room with a box. Juice was happy to see them making up, albeit under sad circumstances.

"That's all of it brother. Pulled everything with a reaper." He set the box down in the living room.

Clay moved over to his cabinet and reached in for one of his guns. "Let Happy know I'm, uh, gunna take out the ink tonight. We'll do it at TM so there's no doubt it's been done."

"Yeah okay."

"There's some vintage club shit in there." He motioned to the boxes. "You're welcome to it."

"Thank you." Juice called looked down at the boxes and studied the reaper engraved gun. He'd seen Clay clean it a number of times and had admired it.

"You always liked it." Clay picked it up and Roxy watched as he fiddled with it.

"Yeah. It's beautiful." Roxy rolled her eyes at Juice's description. Only these guys would refer to a handgun as 'beautiful'.

"Piney gave it to me for my five year. Always thought I'd give it to Ope." He looked at it once more and handed it over to Juice.

"No Clay, I can't."

"C'mon I gotta get rid of it. It's my way of saying thanks."

Juice smiled and accepted the gun saying thanks again. They broke apart when there was a knocking on the door. Roxy moved to slide her arm around Juice's waist and he tucked her under his arm. Clay opened to door to let in Tig.

"Shit went south with Gaalan. We're on lockdown."

"Ah, Christ." Clay grumbled. He looked over to Juice and Roxy. "Go ahead Juice. Look after my girl."

"You too." Tig said to Clay.

"No, no. Jax don't want me there-"

"I don't give a shit about that. You ain't safe here alone." Tig interrupted.

"Yeah, c'mon dad. You said you needed to get your tatts done anyway." Roxy piped up.

"Ok." Clay relented and grabbed his jumper. Tig ushered him out as Juice slung on his kutte, tucking the gun in the inside pocket, and Roxy threw her leather jacket on and followed him out the door, being sure to lock it behind her.

"Look after my girl. Dunno how safe we are." Tig pointed at Juice as he and Roxy mounted his bike.

"Of course." Juice responded as Roxy gave him a squeeze from her position as bitch rider.

Juice revved his engine a couple of times, checking around them before taking off after Tig and Clay on the familiar route to the clubhouse.

xxx xxx

When they arrived at the clubhouse it was still kind of empty so they went to Juice's dorm so he could work on his computer for a bit.

Roxy lay on his bed and dozed slightly, waking when Juice sat down on the edge of the bed next to her.

"I gotta go out and see what's happening. You staying here?"

"Nah I'll come too." She responded, sitting up and rubbing her eyes.

Roxy followed Juice to the barroom, holding his hand. She scanned the room to see who was there, sporting her Ma at the bar, a bunch of crow eaters and family members, some Washington members, before landing her eyes on Nero and Lyla playing pool.

"I'm gunna go hang with them for a bit. You do your thing." Roxy squeezed Juice's hand to leave but he pulled her in for a kiss before slapping her ass lightly and pushing her towards the table.

Roxy rolled her eyes as she caught Lyla's smirk. She hadn't seen much of Lyla since Opie passed so she sidled up to her and bumped hips.

"How you doing?"

Lyla gave her a small smile. "I'm ok. Getting used to having the kids."

"How they handling it all? They being good for you?"

"Well they're pretty devastated but they're good with me. They're beautiful kids."

"That they are." Roxy smiled. "Well if you ever need anything just let me know."

"Thanks Rox. Might need a girls night again soon, that's for sure!"

"I think Harley does too. We'll get Gemma to look after the kids."

"Yeah I heard about Otto. Well I'm ready when you are." Lyla smiled. Nero motioned for Lyla to take her shot before coming over to stand next to Roxy.

Juice watched as Roxy laughed with Nero. He was so happy she'd agreed to get back with him again. He knew he didn't deserve her but he vowed to do everything he could to make up for it. Watching her smile and mess around with Lyla and Nero made him smile too.

He was interrupted from his study by Bobby who'd moved to sit next to him by the bar.

"You're one lucky guy to have her back." Juice nodded his agreement. "And not being brought to the table."

Juice could feel his throat tighten. "Bobby I-"

"Don't. There's nothing you can say that'll take it back. Just be sure you earn that spot. Jax has given you a pardon, probably only for her sake. So don't fuck it up this time." He tapped the bar top and moved over to the chapel, leaving Juice there speechless.

He figured Jax hadn't actually told him why he did what he did, maybe he wouldn't be as pissed off if he'd known. That meant Chibs probably didn't know either. But Chibs had been avoiding him since he'd found out. So he had no way to gauge how much he hated him.

Juice just hoped that now he has Roxy back he could focus on salvaging his relationship with Chibs.

xxx xxx

The rest of the day wore on slowly. The guys were busy in and out doing club stuff and as night fell Roxy found herself alone at the bar. Lyla was busy with the kids and Harley had point blank refused to come to the clubhouse so she was alone. After a while she decided to either find her Ma or Juice.

She made her way out to the garage, leaving the hustle and bustle of the clubhouse everything was eerily quiet out here. Roxy poked her head into one of the bays and saw where all the SAMCRO guys were. They were crowded around Happy who was setting up his tattooing gear, ready for Clay. Juice caught her eye and gave her a tight smile. She tried to return him a reassuring one but had to leave before the others saw her.

Opening the door to the TM office she saw Gemma and Clay in deep discussion on the sofa. They both looked up as she came in, breaking away from their conversation.

"I'll come check on you later." Gemma gave him a hug and let him go.

Clay squeezed Roxy's shoulder as he passed and she watched him enter the garage and sit down, ripping his shirt ready for Happy.

Roxy was conflicted, she knew he deserved this, hated him in some ways, but she felt sorry for him and wanted to stop them from hurting him.

Then she caught Juice's eye and knew it was Clay or him. And figured the least her dad could do was be the distraction if it meant Jax forgot about Juice. At least Clay could give her that happiness.

xxx xxx

Roxy waited at the garage until Juice was ready to leave. The guys all waited until Happy had finished for them to leave so it was quite late and all Roxy wanted was a hot shower and bed.

She could feel how tense Juice was as she hugged him on the ride home and he was quiet as they moved through the house to the bedroom.

"I'm gunna have a quick shower then we can do whatever you want, ok?" She gave Juice a quick hug before chucking her phone and keys on her bedside table and heading towards the ensuite, grabbing one of his tshirts along the way.

Juice sighed and flopped down on the bed, rolling to Roxy's side so he could smell her pillow. The sound of the shower was soothing and he was almost drifting off when Roxy's phone started buzzing. It was an unknown number so he just let it ring out.

Then it started again. He let it go to voicemail, deciding if it rang again he'd pick up incase it was someone important.

It didn't ring again but then two text messages popped up in quick succession so he grabbed it to see what was happening. He didn't recognise the number as a burner number so he knew it wasn't the club but it could have been Harley or someone in trouble.

He swiped his finger to open her phone and it took him right to the messages.

'Hey Rox, it's Chad. I know Harley told Josh you guys wanted to cancel our catch up in Cali but I thought maybe she just wasn't that interested in Josh and maybe you'd still wanna meet up?'

Juice wracked his brain, who the fuck was Chad and why was he blowing up Roxy's phone? Then he read the second one and his blood really started to boil.

'I mean I figure I owe you a proper date. Those nights in Reno were fucking hot but they weren't exactly romantic ;) and a girl as fine as you deserves a bit of romance.

Just let me know babe x'

Juice threw the phone down the bed. He rolled back onto his back and rubbed his face roughly. He knew she'd hooked up in Reno, he'd heard it on the phone call that time. But it seems like they'd spent more than one night together and Juice started feeling insecure. He'd never really taken Roxy on a date, and like Chad said, she deserved it. Chad was offering, so why hasn't he? Sure when they first got together they were hiding things from the club, then Abel and Ireland happened, then jail, and then things were so hectic since they got out he never thought about it, but that was all about him. Hell Roxy had been carrying his baby and he'd never fucking took her to a movie and dinner? Now they were talking about really trying for kids, she was his Old Lady, and he'd never be able to tell their children what their parents did on their first date, because their first date was fucking in his dorm at a club party. Real romantic...

Roxy had already dried herself and come out of the shower and found Juice lying rigid on the bed with his hands over his face. He hadn't noticed her come out so she snuck over to him ready to pounce him when she saw her phone, unlocked, on the bed. Why would he be going through her phone? There was literally nothing on it except for him. She'd kept all the photos of him since their break up, she didn't have the heart to delete them.

Roxy picked it up and looked at the messages displayed on the screen. Chad. She thought Harley had told them no, but obviously it had been too ambiguous. Then she realised Juice had read them. Shit.

"Sorry. I didn't go looking through your phone. It just rung a few times and messages and I figured it might have been someone important." Juice looked up at her from the bed, a weird look in his eyes that Roxy couldn't quite place.

"Well it's no one important so we can just delete these." Roxy hastily removed them and sat beside him on the bed. Unsure what to say next.

"So, uh, Reno?" Juice looked at anything but Roxy, petrified of her next words and the possibility of her dumping him.

She sighed lengthily. "JC we were broken up. Unlike-"

"Yeah, yeah I know. I don't blame you. He seems nice, wanting a date n shit."

"Sure he was nice. I wouldn't have hooked up with him otherwise." Juice shuddered at her words, rage flowing through him at the thought of someone else touching her. "But he doesn't have anything on you." She leaned over to kiss him but was met with a frozen response.

"You guys slept together, right?"

Roxy groaned. "I don't wanna do this Juice." She moved to get off the bed. "I'm not gunna feel guilty for it. It's exactly what I needed at the time to remind me I wasn't a worthless piece of shit and that guys could actually want ME and just me alone." Her words stung, he hadn't thought about the effect his cheating with Crystal would have had on her self esteem, the self esteem he'd helped her build up after Matt. "I don't want you to feel guilty. I don't blame you for sleeping with him. If that's what happened?" He said calmly. He needed to know exactly what happened. So he could get it right in his mind. He couldn't bear not knowing.

"Yes that's what happened. On more than one occasion. You happy now?" Roxy was still on the defensive.

Juice sighed and moved to sit next to her. "Of course I'm not happy. But if I hadn't done what I did you'd have never been in that position. But from now on I want to be the only guy that makes you happy."

"You always were." She sighed

"Well fuck this Chad off and I'll be taking you on a date."

"A date?" She chuckled.

"Yup. Our first date. Now this shit with Clay is over and Jax seems to be off my back for now I'll take you out tomorrow night."

Roxy laughed. "Ok then hot shot." She moved to push him back on the bed and straddled him. Kissing him deeply and moving down to nip at his jaw and ear before kissing down to his Roxy tattoo, all the while grinding on him.

But Juice was still distracted by the images of her and some surfer dude Chad. "So uh, how 'hot' did it get between you and this Chad?"

Roxy groaned and stopped on her path down his chest, moving back up to his lips. "Nowhere near as hot as this, baby." She tried reassuring him. "Now let me show you how hot you are." But before she could start again Juice flipped her over and pushed her back up into the middle of the bed.

"Just promise me you're mine." He asked as he pulled the tshirt of his she was wearing up over her head and kissed down over her crow before looking up at her, tracing her chandelier tattoo with his fingers, causing goosebumps to erupt across her chest.

Roxy fixed him with her eyes. "Of course. And I always will be." She pulled him back down for a kiss. "Now shut up with all the sappy shit and fuck me like you own me."

Juice almost choked on air then, it was the dirtiest thing Roxy had ever said to him and he almost couldn't believe it. But after the shock wore off he dove right in. He ripped her panties off, they were the only thing on after he'd taken her tshirt off, and he kissed down her body.

Roxy was pulling him back up and trying to kiss him but he just grabbed her wrists and held them down in one hand and made his way back to her chest. Roxy squirmed beneath him, trying to get some friction or anything. But she was completely helpless beneath him.

After a few more minutes of Juice teasing her she couldn't take it any more. "Please J, just do it already." She panted.

Juice didn't have to be told twice. He stood up and quickly ripped off his shirt, pants, and boxers. He pulled Roxy down the bed and pushed her to flip over so she was on her stomach, then he lifted her so she was on her hands and knees at the edge of the bed. He pulled her up gently by her hair so he could speak in her ear.

"I love you."

Before Roxy could respond he pushed her forward again and pushed into her. Roxy moaned and pushed back to meet his thrusts, grabbing on to the bed sheets as tightly as he was holding her hips. After a few minutes she could feel herself getting really close but before she could let go Juice pulled out and pulled her to turn over. Within seconds his lips were on hers as he entered her again, his arms either side of her head, Roxy gripped his shoulders as he set a hard and fast pace.

"Tell me you're mine." He painted between thrusts. "That it's just us now."

Roxy pulled his lips to hers for another kiss. "It'll only ever be you."

xxx xxx

They lay in bed tangled together afterwards. Roxy loved Juice's dominant persona in the bedroom, especially when he was rough and took charge. It was as if he forgot about everything else he usually worried about and was just this confident, strong man. More often than not though real life would catch up as soon as they finished. This time being no exception.

"So you'll text him and tell him no dice?" He asked while stroking her shoulder.

Roxy sighed and motioned for him to pass her the phone and she set about texting him.

Sorry Chad, I'm back with my boyfriend, so I won't be meeting up any time soon. Sorry!

"Happy now?" She kissed him and hit send. "Honestly he was just a rebound to get back at you. Nothing but a quick lay baby."

"Good. I'm so fucking serious about us now Rox. I promise you no ones gunna fuck this up for us again. Me included."

"Ok cheeseball. Now go to sleep, you have work tomorrow morning."

Juice nodded and pulled her in closer for another kiss again. "Everything is finally falling into place for us babe."


	76. Chapter 76

The next morning Juice had to get up fairly early to go to work at the garage. He'd been pulling up the really sucky early morning shifts at the garage recently so he was usually out of the house by 7am. He tried to get out of the bed without waking up Roxy but she was sleeping lightly and stirred as soon as he sat up.

"Sorry babe. Go back to bed."

"Nah I gotta head in to the office. Maybe do the rostering at TM again. Make sure you stop getting the early shifts." She winked at him.

"You still applying for jobs? I " Juice asked.

"Kind of. Half heartedly I suppose. If I get something I get something." She sighed. "There was one in Oakland that I was gunna ask you if I could apply for before all that shit went down. But it's closed now."

Juice frowned. "I'm sorry."

"If something comes up again out there can I apply?"

"Not right now babe." He sighed at the look on her face. He felt bad for restricting her like this. "It's just shit is a bit weird at the moment there. I can't guarantee you'd be safe and there's no way we could watch you every day at work. We can reevaluate as stuff comes up though."

Roxy nodded. "Ok. I get its tough there. Look lets go have a shower and get a move on." She smirked and pushed him off the bed.

xxx xxx

After a long and steamy shower they just made it in time to the garage for opening. Juice set about organising his tools for the day and Roxy left the office work to her Ma so she could chat to Juice in the bay.

Jax came in not long after and beckoned Juice over to speak to him. Roxy watched from her perch on the ledge as Juice protested then agreed with whatever Jax was saying. His shoulders slumped as he made his way back over to Roxy and his toolbox.

"What was that about?" Roxy asked Juice as she eyed her brother's retreating form walking over to the clubhouse.

"He wants me to help him take down Clay or he'll bring me to the table." He groaned.

"I thought they'd decided on no mayhem? They stripped his patch?" She was worried again.

"Yeah. The club voted. But this is Jax's own revenge."

"He's not gunna kill him is he?"

"Not really. Just send him to jail."

Roxy jumped off the bench. "Fuck. The second anyone sees that blacked out ink they'll know. He'll be fair game in there."

"I know babe. But I gotta do it. You know Clay though. He'll figure something out. He's got more connections than just the club after all."

"Yeah ok. Do what you gotta do then." The resigned look on Roxy's face made Juice pull her in for a hug.

"Look, you go chill in the office a bit, I'll do this for Jax then see if we can hang for a while. Jax wants me to go help Clay pack for moving out of his house."

Roxy nodded and followed his suggestion and went to go chat with Gemma in the office. Juice was just about to get the gun Clay had gifted him when the man in question arrived to pack his tools. Juice's heart dropped as he studied the gun he had stashed in his locker. The gun was beautiful in itself, and on top of that it was a gift from Clay, a symbol of their shared respect. Now he had to hand it over to betray Clay and he'd know exactly who was party in his downfall.

Juice sighed and placed the gun in Jax's saddle bag before returning to his set up for the day. Dreading what was to come.

xxx xxx

Roxy sighed and sipped on the coffee Gemma had made her. She watched as her Ma filed some papers and organised the desk. Chucky, their adopted, fingerless, helper struggled with some of the finer details of tidying due to his lack of digits. So it was usually left to either Roxy or Gemma to do the last bits and bobs.

"So will you work full time in the office here? I think Juice will like you being close by." Gemma smiled at her daughter. She was desperate to keep her close, especially since she found out Tara was thinking of moving to Providence with the boys. The 'welcome' flowers currently sitting on her desk evidence of that.

"No Ma. You know I want to get back into social work. I'm applying lots. Just waiting and seeing for now."

Gemma sighed. Wishing she could have the job at St. Thomas back, at least it was closer to the club.

"Everything seems to be in Oakland at the moment." She moaned before taking another sip of her coffee.

Gemma raised her eyebrows. "Baby that's far too dangerous out there. The club-"

"Don't." Roxy interrupted. "I've already had the talk from Juice. I get it. I'm not going near Oakland any time soon." She pouted. "I just want something of my own, you know? Shit goes wrong with Juice again I don't want the club to be my only life."

"I hear you baby. It'll work out though. You and Juice. I got a feeling." She smirked and moved to give Roxy a kiss on the head before ushering her out of the office towards Juice who'd been waiting at the open door.

"Ready for Clay's?"

Roxy nodded. "Yup. Where's he moving to anyways?"

"Dunno but he can't stay there. Club owned house."

"Ah. I see." Roxy and Juice didn't know the extent of either Jax's plan to incarcerate Clay for a lengthy period of time. Or Clay's plan to leave for Ireland, apparently with Gemma.

But everything was bound to come to a head eventually.

xxx xxx

Once again Roxy found herself pottering around Clay's house as Juice packed boxes and Clay fiddled with things here and there.

Clay eventually pulled Roxy aside to tell her the plans. Roxy smiled expectantly at her father as she awaited his explanation.

"I don't know how much your mother told you but-"

Roxy cut him off. "Huh? Ma hasn't told me anything. What is it?"

Clay eyed her worried expression. He'd have assumed Gemma would have told their daughter about her plans to leave Charming and move to Ireland with him. "She's coming to Ireland with me. Tonight." He stated clearly.

"Ireland?!" Roxy's shocked expression soon faded to worry. "But how? And why wouldn't she say?!" Roxy didn't understand how this would fit into Jax's plan but she started thinking maybe Clay would avoid jail after all.

Clay watched as she calmed herself down slightly. "Ok."

"Ok? That's it?" He huffed.

"Yeah. What else do I say? I'm pissed at Ma but she'll have her reasons."

"Fine. Well I dunno how Jax is going to take this but you have Juice to look after you. He's a good kid."

Roxy smiled. "Yeah he is."

Clay gave her a brief hug. Not sure how far he could push her in their newly repaired relationship. Roxy gave him a squeeze back and pushed him off to continue his packing, deciding she'd go outside for a smoke to call Harley and see how she and Otto were getting on.

A few seconds after Roxy disappeared out the back door, Gemma appeared at the front door. Juice helped her bring her bags in, surprised she was agreeing to leave with Clay. Though Juice knew of Jax's plan and figured they wouldn't be out in time. He hadn't the heart to tell Roxy that it was happening today so she had no idea.

Juice had used up all the packing boxes so he moved the full ones into the garage for Clay.

"That's the last of the boxes. But I'll get some more and Roxy and I can finish up tonight, move everything in to storage next week."

Clay finished tinkering with his tools. "Thanks Juicy."

"No problem, man." Juice moved to leave the garage, guilt weighing heavily on his mind, slowly stifling his breathing and churning his thoughts, but Clay's voice stopped him.

"I know it was you... Found that legal shit in the vent."

Juice turned to face him. "Why did you say something?"

"Eh, I figured it had to be Jax, leveraging the RICO threat. You had no choice."

Juice stopped and shook his head, tears beginning to build. "We always have a choice... I'm sorry."

"It didn't end up mattering anyway. Let it go. You got Roxy to look after now." He sighed. "I know shit went sour for me n Gem for a while there. But I'd do anything for her. Always would. Always will. That's what I wanted for Roxy all along. I know you can give her that, so just do what you gotta do Juicy." He stepped closer and placed a hand round the back of Juice's neck. "I love you brother. Think I'm gunna miss you most."

He pulled Juice in for a hug and Juice's mind kicked in to high gear, anxiety rising and panic about to set in. He couldn't do this. How could he do this? It wasn't right.

"Christ. Clay. You gotta go. You gotta leave now." He pulled back from Clay's embrace, eyes wild with panic, trying to order his thoughts and commands before he blurted them out. "You got to split. Take my bike."

"What are you talking about son?"

But before Juice could answer there was a knock at the door and his eyes widened. Clay knew then, Jax was up to something and he'd once again pulled Juice into it.

He gave Juice one last look before exiting the garage to the living room where Gemma was ushering Roosevelt and another detective into the living room. Roxy stood from her chair, eyeing Roosevelt with disdain, still angry with him for everything that happened to Juice. She caught Juice's eye and moved to stand in the corridor with him.

"You leaving town?" Roosevelt asked as he surveyed the boxes and suitcases.

"What is this?" Clay demanded tiredly.

Roosevelt stepped forward, holding out an evidence bag. "This weapon is registered in your name. It was just used in the murder of Damon Pope and three of his associates."

Clay looked down and to his right slightly. Catching Juice, wide eyed and guilty as hell. Clay couldn't believe Juice had handed the gun over to Jax for this. Then he noticed Roxy, one hand tangled in Juice's and the other grasping on to his sleeve, unsure of what was happening but recognising the gun as the one Clay had given Juice. He noted how Juice stood protectively in front of her, shielding her from what was about to happen and he nodded to himself, he had to do this, for Roxy and Juice, at least Jax would spare Juice and, of course, Roxy's happiness if this went down as it should. So he turned back to Roosevelt, ready to accept whatever happened.

"Can you tell me where you've been this afternoon?" Roosevelt encouraged.

Clay spared one last look at Juice and Roxy. "Right here." He answered Roosevelt.

"Can anyone confirm that?"

"My wife." Clay answered, knowing full well that Gemma was going to turn on him. "Tell him Gem."

Gemma was silent, conflicted within herself as she weighed her options. If she handed over Clay now he was as good as dead. Sure there was no love lost between them, thanks to his violent behaviour, but he was her daughter's father. She didn't deserve to lose him. But if she did not hand him over she would lose her first born son and grandsons. And that was a risk she couldn't take.

"Gemma?" Roosevelt prompted. Juice almost thought she was perhaps not going to go through with this.

But then she breathed in deeply and made her choice. "He went out for a few hours. Took the gun. Said he had to settle up some accounts before he left." A pause. "I didn't think he'd kill anyone."

Everyone looked at Gemma, stunned for her confession. Roxy stifled a gasp as Roosevelt told his officers to arrest Clay, she knew this was coming but not so soon.

Juice lent against the wall as he watched his mentor cuffed and mirandised, guilt coursing through his veins and the ever persistent burn of anxiety slowly taking over his mind. Every choice he'd made had led to this moment and every little self loathing thought he'd had under control since the break up with Roxy came pouring into his mind at once like a dam bursting. He couldn't take it any longer and slid down the wall as the racing took over his mind and simply stared the wall as Clay was led away.

Roxy's sobs broke him out of his mind and he noticed that she was sitting on the floor next to him, head hanging between her knees. "This is so fucked. I can't let this be the last time I saw him."

Juice managed to pull her against him and kiss her head, God knows how he was still functioning. He figured it was just pure survival instincts now putting him through the motions. Needless to say their date for tonight was cancelled. Yet another thing he had ruined.

Gemma slowly got up from her chair in the living room. "I gotta go, give that statement. You two should head to the clubhouse, wait for Jax."

The front door slamming shut made the pair jump and they slowly rose to their feet. "Please, take me by the station. I wanna say goodbye."

Juice nodded, unable to form a sentence right now. His thoughts were too loud and too many. He barely registered Roxy's arms around his waist as he sped to the station. He needed a smoke while he waited for Roxy. So he pulled a joint out and smoked it in the station car park... Hell, he had a card if they took issue with it.

Roxy begged and pleaded her way in and Roosevelt took pity on her. He knew damn well Clay didn't do the murders. This had Jax written all over it, his way of giving Roosevelt his revenge. But it didn't sit right with him as it wasn't truthful. Clay deserved jail, Roosevelt had no arguments there, but he wanted it to be for legit reasons. Not this.

He took pity on Roxy for the fact that she was a nice girl, and he'd played a part in fucking up her life by messing with Juice, RICO, and the club. So he led her to the cell they'd put Clay in while they processed him. "5 minutes. I don't think I need to tell you how against the rules this is." He raised an eyebrow.

Roxy shook her head in response to Roosevelt and entered her dad's cell.

"I'm so sorry dad. Juice is too. He didn't want to do it." She hugged him. Suddenly not caring about all the shitty things he'd done in the past.

"Hey, you tell him he has my blessing. My way of making everything up to you. Without me in here, he'd be a dead man thanks to your brother. So enjoy him. That kid loves you. Look after each other." Roxy nodded and Clay gave her a quick kiss on the temple.

They hugged again briefly and Roosevelt called Roxy out of the cell and led her out of the building. Roxy kept the tears in till they were on Juice's bike heading back to the clubhouse.

She didn't know if she could face Jax just yet, so she moved to Juice's bedroom and decided to go for a nap. Juice, on the other hand, opted to stay out in the club office and fiddle on the computer while he waited for Jax. Before he left her in the room she did tell him what Clay said and it eased some of his guilt.

Juice made himself comfy at the office computer, he had to reply to some emails and sort any that needed to be brought up in church. His mind slowed slightly, knowing the Clay didn't blame him and that he approved of him and Roxy enough to accept his fate to make sure they'd be safe.

After an hour or so Jax showed up and made his way through to Juice. This was the part he was still worried about. Jax's approval was something he still desperately wanted, despite how rotten he had been lately. Mind you he couldn't really blame him. Clay had done some heinous shit to get back at Jax, on top of killing Piney, and Juice was a rat. He may have done it for noble reasons but a rat was a rat in the MC and Juice hated himself for it.

He braced himself for what was to come as Jax approached him. But Jax simply pulled him in and kissed his forehead.

"I'm proud of you." He nodded and turned away, leaving Juice stunned in his wake.

Juice couldn't believe it. Everything was right with Jax. This was all he wanted and now he and Roxy were good, he'd repaid his debt to Jax.

He shut down the computer and made his way back back to his dorm. Roxy was passed out on his bed, it was only 6pm so he hoped they could still have their date. Celebrate their new found freedom.

"Babe. Wanna go out still?" He gently nudged her awake.

"You're looking awfully happy. What's happened?"

"Everything's good with Jax." He grinned.

Relief washed over Roxy at that statement. "Thank fuck. And yes let's go celebrate." She grinned.

"Alright I'll take you home and we'll get changed. I got somewhere fancy in mind."

Juice and Roxy raced home, Roxy practically vibrating with excitement at the thought of going on an actual date. It hadn't bothered her before that they'd never been on one but now they'd decided on it she was ecstatic. Imagining having some cocktails in her lovely red dress with Juice dressed in some kinda shirt just really got her going.

She was halfway through her makeup when she got a call from Jax. She debated picking it up, annoyed with him for the situation he'd put Juice in, purely for his own advantage, but eventually she picked it up, knowing he'd keep calling till he got her.

"What's up?" She answered coolly.

"Uh... Tara's been arrested."

"What the fuck? Why?" Her shocked tone brought Juice out of the bathroom where he'd been putting on aftershave.

"She was helping at the prison when Otto killed that nurse. Charged her with accessory or some shit."

"Oh my god Jax. She ok?"

"Not really. Could you come over and help with the boys? Can't get a hold of Ma."

Roxy sighed. "Sure. See you soon." Of course she'd help with her nephews. She loved them in spite of the pain it brought her. She may hate her brother but she could never hate them.

"I'm sorry JC. Dates off. Tara's been arrested for accessory to murder." She grumbled. "Gotta help Jax with the boys."

Juice stared at her, open mouthed, not really registering what she said was saying.

"Uh sure." He gestured for he to leave and grabbed his keys. Of course they could reschedule their date, it'd only been like 2 and a half years in the making, but he still had a lot of making up to do to Jax. He could feel it.


	77. Chapter 77

**A/N: thanks for hanging in there guys! I'm in somewhere with more reliable wifi now so can update quicker! Thanks Ang R for all her reviews! And everyone else for reviewing and letting me know what you think! Tried something new this chapter so hope you like it!**

That previous night was a damn long night. The boys were unsettled, luckily they hadn't seen Tara being arrested but she'd missed their bedtime and so they weren't happy, sensing the tension from the adults in the house.

Roxy had almost dozed off when her Ma finally arrived, she'd been seeking comfort with Nero and licking her wounds. This meant her and Juice were relieved from the kid watching they'd been doing and Roxy was more than ready for bed. Before they could leave, however, Jax called Juice back. Roxy wondered what the hell this could mean now but she was ready pass out so Juice just took her home and put her to bed.

Juice, however, did not sleep. He set about packing for the run. Bobby was jumping charters to Indian Hills and needed the Prospects to help him move. Rat and VLin were already good to go but Jax offered another member to assist. Bobby suggested Juice, for reasons unbeknownst to Jax, however Bobby thought it'd do Juice good to get away for a bit, clear his head, and give Chibs and Jax time to cool off. Bobby felt a bit bad for the kid to be honest and figured he could maybe set him on the straight and narrow. He was to leave that lunchtime as soon as the Prospects had finished packing the van.

After he packed Juice got a few hours sleep but would still probably require the assistance of red bull to ride. It was about 3 hours to Indian Hills so it was a decent ride. Juice normally didn't like red bull as it raced his mind too much but if he was focusing on the road he'd be ok, riding usually helped him set everything right in his mind.

Roxy woke first, threw a tshirt on over her bra and panties, and went through to start on breakfast. She was going to have a long day helping Jax and Gemma again most likely. Either in the garage or with the boys.

When she got through to the living room she found Juice's run bag, packed and at the door, so she went back to the bedroom to wake him up.

"Hey, you going somewhere today?" She nudged him awake.

Juice rolled over and rubbed his eyes, silencing his snoring. "Uh, shit. Yeah. Didn't get a chance to tell ya last night. Bobby is moving to Indian Hills. Wants me to help supervise the Prospects."

Roxy felt a bit disheartened that he was leaving so soon. Not to mention she hated Indian Hills as they ran pussy up there. Briefly thinking back to his trip when they first got together and his admission at receiving lap dances. Now with his dalliance with Crystal fresh in her mind she couldn't help but tense at the thought of him spending time in their clubhouse, where, believe it or not, the girls were even freer with their favours than those at the SAMCRO clubhouse.

Juice noticed the tension and figured straight away where her mind had gone and felt terrible for giving her a reason to doubt him. He reached over and grabbed her hand and squeezed it for her to look in his eyes. "Hey I promise you nothing will happen up there. I know I gotta get your trust back and I ain't gunna fuck it up now."

She smiled vaguely. "Ok. How long?"

Juice knew she didn't 100% trust him and sighed deeply at his own stupidity for Crystal. "A week or so. Just to help him settle in. Will give me chance to mend bridges with Bobby and Chibs a chance to cool off. He hasn't spoken to me since he found out."

Roxy's heart broke a bit then. Chibs was the closest brother in the club to Juice. Often taking on a mentor role as Clay had done. But he'd been increasingly distant recently and was more of a mate than a father figure.

"Ok babe. But call me. I'm gunna miss you!"

"I will definitely call you, babe." He smirked. Roxy rolling her eyes knowing that it was a dangerous game trying for phone sex. It could give him the release he needed or it could just arouse him enough to find a sweet butt. In the past she'd maybe, just maybe, have been ok with the thought of him getting road head so long as she didn't know the details, but now it made her physically ill, hitting too close to home with Crystal.

"Ok hot shot. When are you leaving?"

"Meeting Bobby at the clubhouse at noon. Will you be there?"

"Of course babe. I'll call Ma figure out what's happening." She studied the earnest look on his face, he so wanted this break, to be useful to the club, responsible for the Prospects, and hopefully mend his relationship with Bobby. So she leant in and kissed him.

Juice of course took the signal and rolled her over so he could lie over her and deepen the kiss. After all he'd miss her for a week.

xxx xxx

Roxy was busy saying goodbye to Bobby and the Prospects and Gemma took her chance to talk to Juice. She wanted to see how he was after yesterday.

Gemma smirked as she noted the hickeys on Juice's neck, around the tattoo of Roxy's name, and peeking out from beneath his tshirt, clearly Roxy was making sure he was marked enough the sweet butts would leave him alone. Usually they were sign of an Old Lady, not a crow or sweet butt. They weren't allowed to leave marks.

Gemma pulled him in for a hug. "How you doing baby?" She surveyed him with a hawk eye. Gemma had wanted Roxy to take her place as an Old Lady for years. It was her destiny, if you wanted to get philosophical. At first Gemma had wished she'd picked someone a bit stronger, like Happy or Kozik, but she could see what her daughter saw in Juice. And now she was in too deep with him, so if she were to become an Old Lady it'd only be with Juice. Gemma just needed him to man up a bit, knowing how close he was to Clay, she didn't want her daughter dragged in to any friction with Jax.

"Yeah okay." He shrugged.

"Look that shit with Clay yesterday was rough, baby, but you gotta get past it. What happened, happened. You did the club proud. Now take this time to get past it and move on."

Juice gave her a slight smile. "Yeah I will. I'll be alright."

Gemma hugged him tight and kissed his temple before pushing him off toward her daughter. Juice may not hold an officer position, and likely never would under Jax's presidency, but he was still a patched member and that's all she could ask for for Roxy right now with their tenuous relationship to the club after Clay's demise.

Roxy met Juice at his bike and kissed him deeply as they said goodbye, Juice running his fingers through her hair before sliding his hands down to cup her ass.

"I'll not be long, then when I'm back I'm taking you on that date."

Roxy smiled into his kiss. "Gunna miss you." She kissed him again. "Just... Behave yourself, yeah?"

Juice sighed. "I know I've made you promises in the past but I promise you now you're it for me."

Roxy nodded, looking in his eyes she could tell he meant it. "I love you."

"I love you too."

After one final kiss Roxy pulled away and waved him off as he and Bobby led the Prospects out of the lot, worry still pooled in her stomach that perhaps he might struggle being faithful and she'd be lonely at home thinking of nothing but him.

"This is gunna be a long ass week." Roxy said to no one in particular.

xxx xxx

Four days after Juice left Roxy had worried herself to sleep every night. Juice had called her as he went to bed but she could hear the raging party in the background, however she just had to trust him.

Lowen had called that morning to request Roxy have a meeting with Tara at the jail. She'd refused point blank that she wouldn't meet with Jax so Roxy was called in to update her on the boys.

Roxy arrived at the prison and met Lowen in the waiting room. "Thanks for meeting me here Roxy." She gestured to some seats in the corner. "Your father has sent some directions through Rosen and he asked me to pass them along today." Lowen handed her a brown, A4 sized envelope. "You don't need to read it now but he was insistent that only you have it."

Roxy nodded. "Yeah he'll have a hard time trusting anyone right now." She shook Lowen's hand. "I'll read it after I've seen Tara."

"Good idea. Just... Encourage her to think things through."

Roxy gave Lowen a puzzled look, but she waved it off and walked her to the visitation room.

The pair said their goodbyes and Roxy made her way in to wait for Tara.

xxx xxx

Roxy went home that night with a heavy heart. Tara was beside herself with worry for her boys during visitation and made Roxy promise she'd check on them everyday. She confided in Roxy that she thought Gemma was behind her arrest as she had been privy to some information. Roxy tried to assure Tara it wouldn't have been Gemma but Tara was set. Eventually Roxy just agreed with her to calm her down and promised to look after the boys till she got out.

Roxy still couldn't believe that Tara and Otto were tied to this crime together. When Roxy called Harley to tell her she couldn't believe it either but couldn't get any more information as the only way she could communicate to her dad right now was through lawyers.

Roxy poured herself some wine and turned on the tv while she waited on her pizza delivery. She opened up the laptop and checked on her delivery for Juice's birthday. He was turning 30 next week and they hadn't celebrated his last one because he'd been inside. Roxy planned on making Juice's 30th a big deal, he'd confided in her he "didn't give a shit" about birthdays as he never celebrated them growing up. That broke Roxy's heart so this year she wanted to do something special. She was going to organise a party at the clubhouse and had ordered him some bits for his bike that he wanted. But her main present was a gold ring, it had a skull in the middle, which Roxy figured would represent the club then wings down the side for the baby. They'd talked about tattoos before everything with Crystal happened so she hoped they could still do that on what would have been his 1st birthday.

Finally her pizza got here and she settled in to eat and open Clay's envelope. The first few documents were bank account details, deeds, and ownership papers along with a copy of his will. It was recently updated and named Roxy as pretty much the sole beneficiary. He'd left the big house to Gemma to make sure she was looked after but the rest of his money, car, camper van, and rental house all were in Roxy's name. She sniffled a bit at the very real chance that he'd die in prison, but pushed through to read the instructional letter.

Clay had written some lovely things to Roxy, apologising again for everything and hoping she has a happy life with Juice. The next part contained instructions on his accounts. She smiled when he'd written in bold lettering to ensure the payments for Lowell's ongoing rehab and Lowell jnr's school fund was covered. She didn't know her dad had been paying for those things. Last she'd heard Lowell was doing well working as a mechanic in San Diego and was attending outpatient programs.

After she filed everything away Roxy settled herself in for a film and after a while, and lots more wine, her mind drifted to Juice and how much she missed him. Maybe it was the wine or maybe it was the romantic film she'd been watching but all of a sudden she really wanted Juice. Wanted to show him what he's missing in case he felt himself being led astray.

She messaged him to ask what he was doing and a few minutes later received a response.

Don't worry. I'm being a good boy. Sitting on my laptop at the bar... Not even watching porn! - JC

Roxy laughed and decided to change that. She picked up the laptop and ran to the bedroom where she set it up to point at the bed. She quickly changed into his favourite black bra she'd been wearing the day he left. She knew that set drove him wild, he loved the shape the bra gave while also tying in with her chandelier tattoo. Roxy was unable to find the panties that matched it, she realised he must have taken them with him and smirked to herself. He'd do that from time to time.

Roxy posed herself on the bed and opened up Skype, and called Juice.

xxx xxx

Juice was sitting at the Indian Hills bar with a couple of the Indian Hills members shooting the shit and messing around. He had been in the process of updating some of their software and security systems while he was up there. Last time it'd be done was when he stayed behind to assemble the guns after they patched them over SOA.

The guys were mostly busy with the girls and had been winding him up all week for not touching any of them. Last night he had relented and got a lapdance just to shut them up, then hurried back to his dorm room to jack off before he gave in to the temptation of a blow job.

Roxy messaged him a couple of minutes ago asking what he was up to but then she didn't respond. He was ready to call it a night, and accept the inevitable ribbing that came with retiring to bed alone, when his Skype popped up. It was Roxy's laptop.

As soon as he hit call accept he knew he should have taken it to his room, as right there on screen was Roxy, lying on her side, facing the camera, breasts popping out of his favourite black bra, and toned stomach in view.

"Holy shit Roxy!" Juice choked out as he attempted to black out the screen. But his fingers didn't hit the key shortcuts quick enough and Randy, Bullet, and Jury copped an eyeful while Rat and VLin strained to see what the commotion was all about.

"Into cam girls are we Juicy?" Bullet laughed.

"Fuck off, that's my Old Lady!" Juice protested.

"No fucking wonder you ain't touchin' shit round here if that's your Old Lady!" Randy barked out as he laughed.

Roxy grinned to herself as she heard confirmation of Juice's fidelity. That turned this from a security call to a reward call.

"Damn straight. None of these gashes have shit on her. So if you'll excuse me gentlemen..." Juice wandered off to his dorm to hollering from the guys.

As soon as he locked his door he shimmied out of his pants and ripped off his kutte and tshirt before settling himself on the bed, clad in nothing but his boxers.

He unblacked the screen as he propped himself up against the head board and sat the laptop on his thighs.

"So this is a nice surprise." He eyed her as she absentmindedly ran her fingers up and down her side.

Roxy reached for her wine glass and took a seductive sip, totally buzzed and ready for this. "What can I say... I'm lonely." She pouted.

"Well, fuck baby... Hang on, why aren't you wearing panties?" He noticed her bare bottom half as she adjusted the camera position.

"You stole them baby."

"No I didn't." He protested, guiltily.

"Yes. You did. Why don't you grab them?" Roxy raised her eyebrow when he set his hand on them immediately. They had been in his bedside table drawer. Juice ran the soft fabric through his fingers as he watched Roxy run her hand over the swell of her breast before tracing her fingers down to her lower half.

"So Juicy... What do we do now then?" Roxy was glad for the effect the wine was having on her. There was no way she'd be doing this sober. She was far too embarrassed.

Juice knew she wouldn't have any idea what to do so he gladly took over, he loved being the dominant one in the bedroom.

"Do you miss me baby?" He asked deeply, Roxy nodding as she ran her hand over her chest again. "Good, I miss you too. Imagine I'm there right now, kissing you, my hand running down to join yours."

Roxy smirked as she rubbed herself only imagining Juice's rough hands. She smiled again as she saw his growing erection and loved that it was her having that effect on him and not someone else. "What would you have me do babe?"

"I think you know." He said as he started stroking himself slowly.

"I do love giving you head babe. You taste so fucking good."

Roxy had picked up the pace and Juice noticed. "Fuck I wish that was me babe."

"Me too," she moaned, "feels so good... Better if it was you."

"You gotta go nice and slow for me babe. I wanna see you enjoy it." He watched as she took her time and rubbed her breasts. "Come on babe." He breathed as he picked up the pace. Roxy smirked at him as she watched his hand bob up and down on the camera and bit her lip. It drove her wild to see him jacking off, usually she'd help but right now she was a bit preoccupied.

After a few more minutes Juice watched as Roxy came, moaning his name which set him off too, which Roxy told him she thoroughly enjoyed watching to his surprise. They sorted themselves out and sat back down in front of their laptops.

"That was so hot babe." He chuckled.

"Don't expect it often Ortiz, I gotta be really fucking drunk to try that."

He laughed again. "I can easily stock the house up on wine before I go on a run."

"Sounds good to me! So what's happening up there?"

"Not much really. Jury got Bobby a house so once we're done moving his shit in we are home."

"How's he been?"

"Bobby?" Roxy nodded. "He doesn't want to know the details, said it don't change ratting on the club. Which shits me coz he doesn't know why but any time I try tell him he shuts me up."

"But you two are ok?"

"I guess. He doesn't treat me any different. Thanks me for helping him out, supports me in front of the prospects so that's ok."

"Good. Now just Chibs."

Juice sighed. "Yeah. He said anything?"

"I've only seen him a couple times at Jax's. He hasn't said anything to me about you. Don't know if it's a good or bad thing."

"Speaking of Jax, how is all that?"

"Tara still won't see him so he's losing his shit. But Lowen seems to think she can get her off so fingers crossed. I saw her today which was tough, and Lowen gave me some shit from my dad. He's leaving everything to me if... Well, yeah."

Juice sighed heavily, still hating his part in that. He hated that she has a dad and he was party to taking him away while he'd have done anything to get his back. It still set his anxiety on overdrive, even though both Roxy and Clay had forgiven him. He just had to be careful to keep his brain from racing. It was anxiety that pushed him up that tree and he couldn't do that again.

"He'll be fine babe. I'm sure the Irish are all over him in there."

"Yeah." She yawned.

"Look, go to sleep babe. I'll message you in the morning."

Roxy glanced at the screen, slightly worried now that he could be going back out to the girls. "What are you gunna do?"

He chuckled. "Nothing Rox. Sleep. In my cold bed. Thinking about you curled in to me."

"Good. Coz I need you back here." She sighed, allowing the wine to make her say what she wouldn't normally. "I can't be alone again."

"That's never going to happen again. Hear me Rox? I know I'm only here now by the skin of my fucking teeth and I'm not gunna fuck that up again."

Roxy could see the frustration in his eyes. "I know. I know. I'm sorry. Look just have a good sleep and I'll talk to you tomorrow. Love you."

"I love you too."


	78. Chapter 78

**A/N: thanks again Sliver of Melody and Ang R! Love hearing what you think. This ones a short one but more soon!**

Roxy bounced into Jax's house that morning, she had a job interview at last! It had been 9 days since Juice left for Indian Hills and she was DESPERATE for him to get home and had subsequently spent the last few days moping around waiting for him, to the displeasure of her brother. So Jax raised his eyes when he saw her bouncing in the house.

"I take it you've heard from Juice then?" He asked.

"No? Why what's happened?"

"Thought you'da been his first call. He's home this afternoon with the Prospects."

"Yesssssss!" She fist pumped the air and Happy rolled his eyes. "This is a fucking great day!"

It was Gemma's turn to raise her eyebrows now. "What else has you so happy?"

"Got a job interview in Lodi, working with kids coming out of jail to reintegrate them into society."

Jax snorted and Happy laughed. "You'll know all about that then sunshine." Happy chuckled out.

"Yeah maybe. I just hope I get it."

"What does Juice think of the Lodi location?" Jax asked.

"Haven't told him yet. The office is in Lodi but it's like a travelling job for the area. It covers a few counties so I'm not necessarily stuck in Lodi."

"That's probably less safe Roxy." Jax warned.

"It's all good, we have a car provided and lots of security shit. Don't worry it's all good." She beamed.

"Ok well as long as he's cool with it I guess." Gemma smiled. "But just watch yourself baby, you know I like you close by at the garage."

"Yeah I know. It's part time though, only 3 days a week so I can still help you out there too. I just want this so bad, it's like the perfect job!"

"Well good luck kiddo, when you heading off?" Gemma smiled genuinely, hoping that Roxy did get her wish.

"Oh it's not till later this afternoon. So I can still help with morning duties. Got my stuff in the car so I can get changed at the clubhouse."

"Perfect! Well let's have our breakfast." Gemma waved her over to the dining table and set up for a family breakfast.

xxx xxx

Roxy was chatting with Tig in the clubhouse while Abel coloured in beside them. Roxy was all dressed up ready for her interview, her grey slacks teamed with a light blue blouse had her looking all professional and copped some ribbing from Tig. Secretly he was proud of her but he had to make fun of her too and she was making it easy by hanging around being nervous. Roxy had an hour till she needed to leave and was sitting impatiently, resisting the urge to have a shot to calm her nerves. Then Ima burst through the doors into the barroom.

"Where's Jax?!" She demanded as she tottered in on her insanely high heels.

"What's this gash doing here?" Chibs ignored her.

"Please, I need your help. Lyla's hurt really bad. Please." Ima begged before running back out to her car.

Roxy's heart was in her throat as she looked to Tig, he asked Unser to stay and watch the boys while Roxy, Tig, Chibs, and Happy strode to the door.

Tig motioned for Roxy to grab a spare helmet from the coatracks at the door of the clubhouse and she followed him to his bike.

The guys escorted Ima to Diosa where Lyla had escaped to and rushed inside to see what was happening.

Roxy's heart broke when she saw her friend's bruised and battered body. She rushed over to sit next to her as Jax questioned her. Roxy felt awful for not being there for her more during this stuff with Opie, luckily Harley was around and could help her out. Lyla and Harley had been trying to pick up the pieces of Cara Cara since Luann died. But it was hard for them and ultimately it had failed.

"It was supposed to just be some fetish stuff. Sado play, cage time. It was torture porn. They never told me." Roxy squeezed Lyla's hand as she continued. "The more I asked them to stop, the more they hurt me."

"Who were they?" Jax questioned softly.

"Persians. Ghanezi brothers."

"I met them through one of the Saffron producers." Ima piped up. "They had references." She added at Jax's glare.

"You stupid whore." He said calmly.

"Hey I'm the one who got her outta there."

"I asked her for the work Jax. My best asset has a bullet wound in it right now, I can't do the girl on girl stuff. I need the money. Got three kids now." Jax sighed and Roxy squeezed her hand again.

"Hey Lyla, why didn't you say something?" Nero asked softly.

"I don't take charity."

"Look this gets settled, you understand?" Jax assured her. "Where are they?"

"Stockton. Near the navy docks."

"I have an address." Ima piped up again, offering a piece of paper.

The guys finished their arrangements while Roxy comforted Lyla. The plan was to take her back to the clubhouse to fix up while the guys went and found the assholes who messed her up.

Roxy accompanied her back in Gemma's car and was ready to help Chibs fix her up when Gemma reminded her of her interview.

"No it's ok. I'll find another one." She shrugged.

"No. Go. We've got this covered Roxy." Chibs practically pushed her out the door so she had no choice but to hop in her car and drive to the interview, where she'd have to pretend she was normal and hadn't spent the morning patching up her pornstar best friend while her biker brother went to kill the producers...

xxx xxx

Juice arrived back at the clubhouse late in the afternoon. It had been a long 9 days and he was more than ready to call it a night and get home to his girl. But he'd got a text message off her on the ride home saying she was at a job interview and would meet him at the clubhouse. He was so happy for her to finally find something else and would have something else to do for just herself.

Gemma approached him as he hopped off his bike, appraising him with her eyes as she did.

"Sweetheart."

"Gem."

She pulled him in for a hug as Rat walked around the bikes. "Ma'am."

Gemma smirked and grabbed his hand and placed it on her boob. Juice stifled a laugh as Rat stared in shock, not knowing what to do with himself. "There. Now you've had your hand on my tits, you can't call me ma'am any more."

"Okay... Gemma." Rat was still fearing for his life but he gave her a tight smile. "Where is everyone?"

"Some porn prick messed up Lyla so they went up to Stockton to straighten it out." She turned to Rat. "She's uh, laying out in the clubhouse. Why don't you run over, see if she needs anything?"

"Yeah, all right." Rat nodded.

"Don't grab her tits." Gemma warned as he ran off, she turned to Juice. "How's Bobby?"

They started walking. "He doesn't really say much."

"Maybe do him some good spending time with Jury's crew. New pussy, change of scenery."

"Nah it's more than that. I got a feeling he's gunna patch outta Redwood."

"And go where?"

"Started out Nomad."

"Nomads folded."

"All you need is four members who don't have a home anymore."

"That's not gunna happen." They walked in silence for a moment. "So, how are you?"

Juice shook his head, Gemma didn't know the reason why he had to help Jax take down Clay but she would have guessed he had something over Juice. Either way he had to be careful what he said. "I'm tired."

"Well I haven't heard anything."

Juice watched her for a moment. He had been desperate to know why she had so easily turned him in. He had no choice, but surely Gemma did, or was she just that vindictive. He didn't know and it was driving him mad. He'd been able to some what justify his part in his mind but Gemma was something he couldn't get right with. "Can I ask you something?"

"No. And I'm not gunna ask you. It's done." She turned to leave him in the lot. Gemma didn't want to know what Jax had over Juice, it would make her question her daughter. And right now, all she wanted was Roxy safe and tied strongly to the club. With Gemma's tenuous relationship with Jax right now it would be her only way to stay close to SAMCRO.

xxx xxx

That afternoon Juice and Rat kept busy giving their bikes a once over after the long drive. Juice was just trying to keep his mind off Roxy, he couldn't wait to see her and had no idea when she'd be finished with this job interview.

Gemma watched curiously through the office window as Chibs came into the bays and ordered everyone to clear out before taking off his kutte. She knew immediately this must have something to do with whatever leverage Jax had on Juice.

"Close the door Rat."

"What's up?" Juice asked, though he knew what was coming, he could see it on Chibs' face. From what Juice had gathered from Bobby he knew Chibs only had half the story but likely wasn't going to listen to Juice's half right now, so he'd have to suck it up and accept whatever Chibs had to do to make it right.

"What's going on?" He asked as Rat closed the door behind him.

"I'm a bit worried about you Juicy."

Juice shrugged. "I'm ok man."

"No, no, no. Not how you are. I'm worried about what you might do."

"I don't know what you mean?"

"You ratted. Then you took a cowardly swing from a tree."

Yep, Chibs definitely had it all wrong, after all he should have understood more than anyone about making a deal to protect someone you loved. He'd almost taken Stahl's deal to protect Kerrianne and Fiona. Juice just couldn't understand why Jax wouldn't have told them the full story.

"I never meant to hurt the club."

"But you did, and for some reason Jax has given you a pardon-"

"That's because-" Juice tried to interrupt to give his story.

"Don't! Interrupt me." Chibs glared. "Jax has given you a pardon and there's nothin' I can do about that. But I gotta get right with it somehow." He finished taking his rings off and crossed to Juice as he spoke.

Juice stood tall, if this is how Jax wanted to play this then he needed to take it like a man. For Roxy.

"I love you brother." Juice sighed as he waited for it.

"I know." Chibs answered through his teeth before swinging his arm back for a powerful punch.

Gemma gasped through her view in the office as Juice spun around and stumbled. Chibs waited for him to stand again before landing another forceful punch. Juice must have really fucked up to be copping this style of beat down, but he took it, he kept standing back up and all Gemma could do was watch and feel slightly proud at how he was taking this. She was distracted by Nero pulling into the lot and just hoped that whatever sins Juice was paying for wouldn't take his spot at the table. The last thing she needed now was for her daughter to be exiled alongside her Old Man.

On the other side of the glass Juice was doing his best not to crumble into a heap on the floor. Chibs wasn't going to let him explain his side of the story so he wanted to prove he could take it and eventually when Chibs found out the truth then maybe he'd respect him more.

After a few more hits to his face he couldn't stand any more so Chibs landed a few on his chest and stomach too before landing a final kick to the ribs. Juice was on the verge of blacking out and with the winding the kick gave he did momentarily, but then the pain hit him like a freight train and he just groaned in pain on the floor as Chibs put himself together again.

Chibs shook his head as he watched his brother slowly attempting to sit up. He had held so much regard for his brother and had at one time wanted to show him the ropes and perhaps play the older brother/fatherly role Juice so clearly craved for. But when Jax had told him he'd ratted to RICO to save his own skin that went out the window.

After a few moments he took pity on the younger man and moved over to help him up, feeling slightly guilty when Juice flinched at his sudden approach.

"C'mon. I'll patch you up." He lifted Juice to his feet and helped him over to the clubhouse, ordering Rat to go and fetch the first aid kit.

Chibs settled Juice in his dorm on the techy's obnoxiously large computer chair and began to patch him up. Juice didn't say a word the whole time and Chibs wondered how concussed he was. Finally he broke the silence.

"Want a drink?" He asked, his voice loud in the quiet space and thanks to the ringing in Juice's ears.

"Not unless you want to talk."

Chibs clapped him on the shoulder. "No laddie." Chibs wasn't interested in the reasons why. Jax had told he and Bobby it had been to save his own skin, the sheriff must have found something more than just his black daddy, and Chibs didn't want to know how bad it was. So he shook his head and let Juice be.

xxx xxx

Roxy was thrilled! Her interview had gone so well they wanted to do a bit of an induction with her then and there, before she had a drink with the friend that had got her the interview. They had one other candidate in mind still and needed to make a final decision but the induction would help gauge how interested Roxy was in the position. And she was interested!

As she pulled in the lot she spotted Juice's bike straight away and would have jumped for joy had she not wanted to keep her professional image. It was already dark outside so she ran as fast as her black pumps would let her and ducked in to the clubhouse out of the cold.

"Hey Hap, Lyla, Chibs, Phil, Prospects." No sign of Juice so she wanted to check his dorm, but needed to see how Lyla was first. "How you doing now?"

"Still a bit shaky but I'm ok." She smiled as she took another drink.

"Ok, I'm assuming Juice is in his dorm? Just gunna say hi, but I'll be back and we can talk properly if you need to."

Lyla gave a half hearted smile, she'd seen the state of Juice when Chibs brought him past earlier. He looked almost as bad as she did. "That's ok, Harley's coming to get me soon."

Roxy nodded and continued through to the dorms, fluffing her hair and straightening her top out before letting herself in the room.

She let out a small gasp at the sight in front of her as she shut the door. Juice was laid out on his bed, face a mess of cuts and bruises, an ice pack held against his cheek.

"Holy shit baby. What happened?!"

Juice pulled himself up so he was sitting straighter, wincing at the soreness in his side and head with the movement.

"This was Chibs making things right."

"What the fuck?! He of all people should know about making a deal like that. He did the very same thing to protect Fiona and Kerrianne."

"He doesn't know. Jax didn't tell him or Bobby why I did what I did."

"Jesus. Why wouldn't he?"

"I dunno. Don't really care to be honest. But hopefully Chibs and I are good now."

"Hmmm. Ok." Roxy lent over and gave him a kiss. "I'm gunna get a drink. You want something?"

"Nah I'll sort myself out and we'll go home. You can tell me all about your interview."

"Ok. Can you ride?"

Juice stretched as he stood up. "Yeah should be able to."

Roxy nodded and left him to get himself ready to head home. But before she could leave she had to talk to Chibs. She found him at the bar where he'd been when she came in. Chibs noticed her eyes zeroing in on him and avoided her gaze, but she was soon stood by his side.

"Not now love."

"Yes, now, Chibs."

He raised his eyebrow at her. "Club business love. Don't concern you."

"Chibs the whole thing is about me." She exasperatedly whispered so as not to draw attention to them. "Just, come with me. Please Chibs."

Chibs sighed but got up and followed her to the clubhouse office and allowed her to shut the door behind him.

"Look I don't know what Jax told you but you need to know why Juice did what he did." She waited for him to nod his encouragement. She explained everything and the leverage Potter and Roosevelt had on them. "So Juice had to give them the meet or me and Ope woulda been in the firing line. Opie couldn't have done that again and his family lose him so Juice did what he had to do."

"He still ratted love." He said with a scowl.

"Oh come off it Chibs. You did the same thing for Fiona and Kerrianne that Juice did for me and Ope."

"I didn't sign the papers. I came to the club."

"Yeah but you were real fucking close." Chibs sighed and rubbed his face. "Look you gotta cut him a break Chibs. Everyone at that table has done something like that. You included. They get blind sided by the Feds with promises of protection for the club and the ones they love and it seems like a good idea. He just tried his best. He'd do anything for me and you guys. I think tonight proved that. No one else here would take a beating like that for no reason."

Chibs nodded. "Ok." Another lengthy sigh as he pulled her in for a hug. "Guess I got some apologising to do, huh?"

Roxy smiled as she pulled away. "Maybe Chibby."

"Does Jackie Boy know all a this?"

"Yeah and I don't know why he wouldn't tell you. I have a bad feeling it's because he didn't want you questioning him on manipulating Juice into the whole Clay thing."

"Mmm. I'll keep my eye on him." He opened the door. "Let's get your boy home then."

xxx xxx

Roxy relayed everything that happened with Chibs when he apologised to Juice at the clubhouse. Originally he was pissed off that she had gone behind his back, but then when he realised it was sorted he calmed down.

Now with Chibs' apology and his warm bed he felt he could relax. "Thanks for doin that Roxy." He mumbled as they snuggled up together.

"Any time babe. I knew Chibs would understand. I just don't know what game Jax is playing."

"I don't know. But I guess we'll see what happens." He tipped her face up so he could reach her lips before planting a long, slow kiss on them before pulling away.

"What was that for?"

"Nothin, I'm just really happy."

"Me too." Roxy whispered as she pulled him back for another kiss.


	79. Chapter 79

**A/N: just a small fluffy and smutty chapter to keep you happy while I travel back home. In transit for like 2 days. Have stuff on the go but may be Monday before I can finish and post it.**

 **As usual thanks for the reviews Sliver of Melody and Ang R and to all those who have favourited and followed. Hope you enjoy!**

"Good morning birthday boy!" Roxy pounced on Juice who was still cocooned in their bedsheets.

Juice was less than impressed with the wake up. He knew what day today was and the only purpose his birthdays had were to serve as reminders of his cold and lonely childhood, and the fact that he was aging. Not that he felt the effects of aging all that much right now. His body was more toned and muscular than it had ever been, the only thing he had to thank his time in Stockton for, and although he had more crinkles round his eyes he didn't seem to mind. Juice kept himself fit with regular workouts, he ate healthy, and despite the fact he smoked, drank, smoked weed and occasionally took other recreational drugs, he looked after himself.

But here he was, his 30th birthday, early in the morning. He groaned and swore at Roxy for waking him up before rolling back over to sleep again.

"Ah-ah baby. It's your birthday! Rise and shine!"

"Seeing as it's my birthday, shouldn't I get a sleep in?" He complained from under the blankets.

"Nope. Got shit to do doll face, so get that pretty Puerto Rican ass outta bed and into the shower." She slapped his covered backside and nudged him to get up.

He rolled over and rubbed a hand over his face, avoiding the still black eye Chibs had given him. Though they'd made up after the fight the bruises still showed four days later. "Hmmm I wouldn't know first hand but don't birthday boys get special wishes?" He raised an eyebrow.

"I don't know baby, why don't you get to the shower and find out." She replied suggestively.

xxx xxx

After a rather long shower, where Roxy had indulged him in a birthday blow job, they made their way into the kitchen for breakfast.

Juice was genuinely touched when he walked into the room to see the kitchen table set up with two places, rather formal compared to their usual fare, along with a few wrapped presents in the centre. It had been a long time since someone had bought him birthday presents and he felt the catch in his throat at Roxy's planning. She'd obviously gone to great trouble to ensure he had a good day. Sure last year she had been around but he was inside and the most he could have for his birthday was some extra money in the commissary. It didn't stop Roxy from sending him an adorable card, but this was something different all together.

Sensing his trepidation she crossed the room and took his hand, pushing him to sit in his chair before she began pulling the pancakes out of the oven where they'd been keeping warm.

Roxy placed the protein pancakes on the table and collected the appropriate sauces and toppings for Juice's healthy yet sweet breakfast. Once she was satisfied that everything was perfect she sat across the table from Juice.

"What?" She questioned at the strange look on his face.

"Nothing." He dropped his eyes to his food. "Just... Looks like a good breakfast." He smiled up at her.

"Of course it is."

They ate in a happy silence, Juice eating the majority of the pancakes, she'd used some sort of healthy protein recipe so he went to town on it. When they'd finished she pushed his presents over to him, which he slowly accepted, the strange look plastered on his face once again.

"What is it?"

"Nothing... Just... I dunno. These are the first real birthday presents I've had since... Well, since I can remember."

Roxy gave him a small smile. "Well you deserve them."

She nudged them and he took the hint, opening the first of the three packages. It was one of the accessories for his bike he'd been pining after. The second being a blue tooth addition for the sound system on his bike, something Roxy did not understand, there's no way you'd hear the music over the wind but Juice said you could so whatever he thought.

The final present was a small box, Juice figured it'd be something else for his bike and wondered what on earth would fit in such a tiny box. But when he opened the lid and saw the gold ring inside he could the wave of emotion hit him like a freight train. He swallowed as he pulled the ring out from its green velvet padding within the box and admired the intricate wing design on the sides of the ring yet the skull in the middle looked menacing. A good juxtaposition he thought.

"I figured it could represent the baby and the club for you. I just happened to come across it and thought it was perfect." She looked over at him as he smiled and tried it on, eventually settling on his pointer finger on his right hand where it would sit next to his smaller gold ring. "I, uh, also settled on a name for the baby. I know we haven't talked about it but I need to name him and I thought Gabriel was the one. He's a little angel just like Gabriel the Angel. Then the wings on your ring definitely can represent him." Juice was silent for a few moments as he ran his finger over the ring. "Just... I dunno... Something I thought about with it being his 1st birthday and all." She sighed and sat back in her chair, annoyed with herself for potentially ruining the mood on what was supposed to have been his first happy birthday.

Juice looked up toward her and smiled. "It sounds great. I really love it." He squeezed her hand.

Roxy plastered on a smile in return. "Great. All set for our tattoos in a couple weeks." Juice smiled and nodded. "Well now that you've had you're presents its up to you what you want to do for the rest of the day before your party tonight."

"Oh shit. Forgot about my party."

"You'll love it. Harley is setting it up."

"Fuck, that's gunna be fun." He rolled his eyes knowing just how all out Harley would go. He was surprised she'd even agreed to step foot in the clubhouse with everything going down with Otto. "To be honest I'm surprised she is stepping foot in the clubhouse."

Roxy hummed her agreeance. "I was too. But then she explained that the club is the only family she's got left. She isn't all that close with her mum or her dads sisters so that leaves her alone. I think tonight is her way to get involved again. It's clear her dad has uh, made some choices about his life now. She just wants people around."

"Makes sense. Well in that case I want to spend the day in bed with movies and you... In that new bra and pantie set I found in the bag in the wardrobe." His eyes crinkled as he grinned from ear to ear. Roxy couldn't help but let out a chuckle at his optimism.

"Fine you perv, sneaking through my undies again. Anyone would think you have a pantie fetish." She quirked an eyebrow knowing full well he did but never would admit to it.

"Whatever. Come on I get first pick of the movie."

xxx xxx

Roxy had groaned her way through the first half of Die Hard and decided to distract him with birthday sex so she wouldn't have to watch the rest. Juice knew exactly what she was doing which was why he'd picked the film to begin with. She'd get bored half way through and would do anything to distract him from the movie.

They'd finished Roxy's pick of Hot Fuzz and just had a late lunch before getting ready for the party. Roxy's joyful squeal interrupted Juice as he was about to hop in the shower. He wrapped the towel quickly around his lower half and made his way into the bedroom to see what the go was.

"Oh my god Joey! You've made my day. Seriously... I can't thank you enough... I can't wait... Yeah... I'll see you then... Bye!" Roxy fist pumped as she hung up the call and turned around to see Juice watching her from the ensuite doorway.

"What was that all about?" He questioned. "Who's Joey?"

"You know the interview I went for? The day you came back from Indian Hills?" Juice nodded remembering that day all too well. "Well I got the job!"

"Congratulations!" He moved over to give her a hug and tilted her head up to meet his lips for a searing kiss. He almost forgot the second part to the question. "So who's this Joey?" He repeated as he pulled away.

Roxy smirked at his jealousy. "No one you have to worry about." She answered as she trailed her finger tips down his chest. "Just someone I went to school with. He moved out to Cali and told me about the job as he's one of the program directors."

"Oh. He know Matt?" Her old boyfriend, well fiancé, did play on his mind from time to time. He'd been tossing up the idea of proposing to Roxy but he feared rejection. He knew she wasn't particularly fond of the idea of marriage given how things went with Matt and with her resistance to Old Lady stuff, he figured she was probably scared of being hurt and left in the lurch. He didn't blame her, like she said, it did happen to a lot of the Old Ladies but Juice knew he'd treat her better than that.

"Yeah." She gave a sad smile. "Didn't particularly like him. But what could he do?" She moved to pick out what she was wearing for the party.

"So this job? That's the one driving around with the parole kids?"

Roxy smirked at his question. "Is that a judgmental tone I hear, Mr. Jailbird?"

He scowled at her, big brown eyes narrowed. "No. Just worried about you is all."

"Please, I've been hanging around this club long enough JC. I know how to look after myself." She settled on a pair of tight leather pants to go with the shimmery, black, flowing, strappy top she'd bought for his birthday party. It was loose fitting but highlighted her ample bust and combined with the tight pants she knew Juice was going to appreciate the look. "Now hurry up. I wanna get there in time for some food."

xxx xxx

The couple arrived just after 6pm and the lot was pretty busy and food was already on the BBQ. Roxy had sent the invite around the charters and a few of the guys who knew Juice, and could be spared, had made their way to come join the party.

There were whoops and hollers when they pulled up, Roxy jumped off the back of the bike and Juice wrapped his arm around her possessively as they made their way over to the party.

Roxy was right and Juice had loved her choice of a outfit for tonight and was clearly wanting to make his claim known, even though you could clearly see her crow on display for anyone to see. By the time they made it over to the food, however, Juice was dragged away by the guys and Roxy was left to her own devices. She grabbed a burger and made her way over to Harley who was sitting at a table with Happy drinking beers and playing some sort of card game.

Roxy raised her eyebrow at her friend who was quite clearly flirting with the Tacoma Killer. "I won't stay long, but just wanted to say thanks for this Harley. Couldn't have done it without you and I think it's made Juice's year." She laughed. Harley stood up and pulled Roxy in for a hug. "We'll chat later about what's going on here." She whispered in Harley's ear who chuckled in response.

"Unless you two are gunna start making out, which would be totally hot by the way, I wanna get back to our game." Happy joked in his gruff voice.

Roxy smirked at the playful glint in his dark eyes. "As fun as it is to make out with Harley I have some other things to do." Roxy slapped Harley's ass on her way towards the clubhouse, hearing Happy curiously questioning Harley on what Roxy had meant by that.

When Roxy entered the clubhouse the party was in full swing. Most of the guys were in here, the SAMCRO crew, a few from Indian Hills she recognised, others from around the place, the mechanics and a few hang arounds and of course the girls. Roxy spotted Juice over by the stripper pole with some of the guys from Indian Hills. They'd grown close during his time there and seemed to be having a good laugh. Juice was scanning the room, occasionally flicking his eyes towards the girl dancing on the pole. But when he saw Roxy his eyes lit up and his face cracked into one of his shining grins. She winked at him and made her way over to Lyla who was at the bar.

The girls caught up on everything and Roxy questioned Lyla on how she was doing, how her gunshot wound was healing, the kids, all the fun stuff. And now they'd decided to do some jäger bombs seeing as Rat so kindly offered to make them. He'd been playing around in his time as prospect bar tender and after Roxy had decided she'd had far too much jäger her moved them on to skittle bombs, Cointreau and red bull. The girls had a good buzz on when one of the guys from Indian Hills arrived at the bar to grab some more beers. He was tall and broad shouldered with short cropped dark brown hair. Roxy eyed the tattoos that swirled down his neck and on to his arms. Similar to Juice's head tatts but a bit thicker designed.

He looked Roxy up and down as he introduced himself. "Bullet. And you must be the foxy Roxy. I've heard many things about you."

Roxy flicked her eyes towards Juice who looked on curiously. She accepted Bullet's greeting and looked back to Lyla who shrugged. It was clear Roxy was an Old Lady by the crow adorning her left breast quite clearly on display, and the fact that Bullet seemed to know Juice quite well she assumed he wasn't hitting on her.

"Hmm. All good I hope."

"Of course. Seen some good things too." He winked.

"Oh god. You were there when he stupidly accepted my video call at the bar right?"

He raised his hands in surrender. "Hey I ain't complaining. Whatever you gotta do to keep your man happy I ain't gunna judge." He gathered up the beers to make his way back over to the guys. "But your man sure is smitten... Pussy whipped some may say." He chuckled and the girls laughed and he made his way back over to the group.

Tig had Juice in a headlock attempting to pour Jack down his neck while he spluttered and coughed.

"Looks like this is gunna be a messy night." Lyla laughed.

xxx xxx

Around midnight Roxy was well and truly smashed, her and Lyla had been up dancing for quite some time when Harley came in to join them. Happy was clearly watching Harley from his spot with Tig and Chibs at the bar, Jax had made a late appearance and left early as well. Tara had been released and wasn't in a particularly good way so he was attempting to mend bridges. Roxy had a feeling shit was going down there, her brother had his guilty look on.

Lyla eventually had to call it a night as her leg was killing her and VLin drove her home. Eventually as the girls pulled each other closer to dance to one of Harley's favourite sexy songs Happy beckoned Harley over to him and Roxy saw him dragging her to the dorms. Smiling to herself she looked around for her Old Man seeing as she was now all alone. Nero and Gemma had arrived some time ago but she didn't really want to third wheel on that train wreck when she had her own Old Man to find.

Roxy spotted him almost immediately from her spot at the other side of the room. He was sitting on the armchair watching the stripper while Bullet and the other Indian Hills guys plied him with shots. They had shared most of a bottle of Jack between them from what Roxy could see. Juice stubbed out a joint and looked up as he saw Roxy winding her way through the crowd towards them.

But then the stripper stepped down from the little podium and started giving him a lapdance. Bullet and the others clapped and hollered but Juice stiffened knowing Roxy was watching his every move as she walked over to the group.

Roxy figured it was the alcohol's effect as she felt the urge to smack the girl's face off the podium but then she could hear Bullet and the boys snickering as they saw her come over, she heard a muffled 'pussy whipped' and decided, mischievously, she could have some fun with this.

"Enjoying yourself are we?" Roxy asked as she stopped by the arm rest of Juice's chair.

Juice looked panicked and scrambled for some sort of excuse, peeved that she'd seen him like this when he hadn't even done anything wrong. He was terrified of pissing her off and losing her again even if he hadn't touched anyone else.

Roxy just smirked and trailed a hand up his arm as she turned towards the blonde in his lap. The girl, sensing Roxy's idea, stood and turned to face Roxy winking before pulling her in for a kiss.

Roxy was surprised at first, she hadn't exactly planned on going this far with her teasing, at least not straight away. She'd kissed girls before, as she'd previously alluded to Happy, but the difference was she didn't know this stripper.

The stripper who was currently tangling her hand in Roxy's hair to get a better grip. Roxy threw caution to the wind upon hearing the boys' cheering and moved her hands to the strippers waist and ran one up to her face. The stripper, however, really knew how to put on a show and began cupping Roxy through her bra as her tongue darted out across Roxy's bottom lip. She pulled her head to the side and whispered in her ear.

"Wanna take this to the bedroom?" She whispered in a sultry tone.

Roxy looked down at Juice who had shifted uncomfortably in his chair, clearly to ease the pressure of an erection. He looked on edge and Roxy turned back to the bottle blond who currently had her hands all over her.

"Sure, why not. It's his birthday after all."

Blondie chuckled and grabbed one of Juice's hands as Roxy took the other. The guys clapped him on the back as they passed and Juice could not believe this was happening. He wasn't a hundred percent sure how he felt about sharing Roxy, even if it was just with a random chick, as hot as it was watching that girl touching his girl he could still feel the jealousy bubbling deep down.

However, it was his birthday, he was high, buzzed and having a good time. Why the fuck would he turn down a threesome his girlfriend was clearly into.

They reached his dorm and he fumbled with the key before finally managing to unlock the door. A nervous energy set over him as he turned to face the girls. He hadn't ever had a threesome before and Roxy was pretty shy when it came to sex stuff and he didn't want to push her when she was already so far out of her comfort zone. He questioned whether she was just doing this to make him happy or if it was something she was really into.

However, stripper girl broke the tension, clearly a pro at this. She pulled the ridiculously fancy computer chair over so it was facing the bed. She pushed Juice, by the kutte to sit and watch before walking back to Roxy. They started making out again, only this time with more passion. They slowly walked over to the bed, kissing and touching the whole time. Stripper girl paused as she undid Roxy's pants. "Names?"

"Roxy."

"Alana."

Roxy nodded and Alana pulled back in to connect their lips as she pushed Roxy's leather pants down her legs to reveal a racy, hot pink, lacy thong. Alana was already wearing simply lingerie so she had nothing to take off. She pulled Roxy's top over her head so she was in nothing but her hot pink, lacy, bra and panties.

Alana pushed Roxy to sit in the middle of the bed and turned to Juice. "You too sexy, off with the clothes."

Juice nodded and hurriedly complied to rid himself of everything but his boxers. Alana made an appreciative sigh as she studied his chiseled torso, but she willed herself to turn back to Roxy. She could sense the hesitation in the room and knew what the crow on Roxy's breast meant so if this was going to happen she had to make sure Roxy was on side. Alana had been around the clubhouse a few times since she had worked at Cara Cara in the day. She knew how MC relationships worked, but she badly wanted to bed Juice and this was probably the only way that would happen.

She began her make out session with Roxy on the bed again, both girls touching and fondling each other as the kiss grew sloppier and more sensual. Alana pushed Roxy back in the bed and pulled her thong down and threw it over to Juice, who caught it expertly, both girls easily noticing the rather large tent in his boxers. He didn't know what to do so he continued watching while running the soft fabric of Roxy's thong through his fingers.

Meanwhile on the bed Alana hovered over Roxy, she kissed down her neck and chest, stopping to push Roxy's bra cups aside and lick, suck, and squeeze her way over Roxy's breasts. Juice could hear Roxy panting and knew how turned on she must be. He allowed his hand to rub over himself through the boxers and groaned at the site of Alana going down on Roxy.

The jealousy and arousal battled it out inside his head as he watched Alana touch Roxy everywhere he wanted, Roxy's hands ran up to massage her breasts as she came closer to her release. Arousal won out for the time being and Juice slid himself out of his boxers and ran his hand up and down his shaft. Roxy came with a loud moan, writhing on the bed under Alana's ministrations, he committed that scene to memory, there was nothing that got him going more than watching Roxy cum, but he just wished it was him doing it.

Alana pulled herself up from Roxy and hopped down off the bed. "Your turn Juicy boy."

He shifted in his seat as she crawled her way over to him, she ran her hands up his thighs and snapped his legs open. She was licking a stripe up the underside of his dick when he glanced at Roxy noticing the clear panic on her face as she watched Alana get closer to having him in her mouth. He knew then that she was way too far out of her comfort zone and was regretting this decision with no way to stop it. So he put his hand under Alana's chin and pulled her away.

"It's ok, you can go." He said simply.

Alana looked at him like he'd gone mad. "Uh, what?"

"You need to leave. I don't need you here for this next part."

Alana looked like she'd been slapped in the face, but she knew better than to argue unless she actually did want a slap in the face. Not that Juice would ever do that but she didn't know that.

Alana huffed and stomped out of the room, flicking her hair over her shoulder before slamming the door, Juice locking it behind her.

When he turned around he noticed Roxy sitting up against the head board, knees pulled against her chest, insecurity, rejection and a slight bit of fear written all over her face. He walked over to her and pulled her down so she was lying on the bed before sliding up over her body so he could kiss her deeply.

"Was that ok?" She asked quietly as he kissed down her neck.

"More than ok." He replied simply.

"Then why'd you ask her to leave?" She was still timid, worried of possible rejection.

"Like I said. I don't need her here. That was really fucking hot." He kissed her again. "But kind of made me jealous."

"Jealous?"

He stopped in his tracks, kissing just under her bust. "Yeah. Jealous. I'm the only one who gets to make you cum like that."

"I see. Then let's see if you can do it again."

He smirked and kissed down lower on Roxy's stomach, he smiled against her skin. "Fuck, I love birthdays."


	80. Chapter 80

**A/N: 80 chapters :O can't believe it! Hope you guys enjoy the turn I'm taking here. As always thanks to Ang R and Sliver of Melody for your reviews, and now Lennon it's great to hear what people think. Enjoy and let me know what you think!**

Roxy rubbed her eyes as she walked into the barroom early that next morning. It was safe to say Juice's birthday was enjoyed if the state of the clubhouse was anything to go by. Roxy noticed Chibs sprawled out on a sofa with a very young, very naked, brunette on top of him, apparently he didn't make it back to his dorm. She noticed Bullet in a similar position with Alana on the sofa near the stripper pole and memories of last night came flooding back. How embarrassing. What the hell was she thinking? She groaned as she made her way into the kitchen to make a coffee.

She'd decided to let Juice sleep it off, far too nervous of his reaction to her antics last night. He said he'd kicked Alana out as he was jealous, but she was still worried it was because she wasn't as sexy as she thought it was and Juice wanted to end it. She'd never done anything like that before so the worry was rife in her mind.

She grabbed the freshly made mug and made her way out to the picnic benches so she could drink, and smoke, while she moped, glad that no one stirred as she passed them, she was just wearing Juice's tshirt and a pair of pyjama shorts she kept in his room and her hair was a mess.

She was halfway through her second cigarette when Harley made an appearance, in a very similar looking situation. She was surprised to see Roxy sitting outside and happily made her way over to sit with her.

"Someone's happy this morning." Roxy said with a smirk, laughing at her own joke.

"Shut up bitch." Harley said jokingly as she sat across from her best friend.

"So?" Roxy prompted.

Harley groaned and let her head fall to the table before reaching for one of Roxy's smokes.

"That was the most mind blowing, yet kinda scary, sex I've ever had."

Roxy laughed. "I can only imagine after the stories I've heard. Why Happy?"

Harley shrugged. "I dunno. He'd been helping me move some of Mum's old stuff out the house. Jax had sent him over to offer his services as some sort of peace offering. I think he's feeling guilty about what happened with my dad. He explained about some RICO shit dad was involved in against the club. Guess I'm just lucky to still be allowed to hang around."

Roxy squeezed Harley's hand. "He'd never exile you. He knows the shit with your dad is partly his fault too. From what I heard they messed him about with Luann's death and didn't exact the revenge they'd promised."

Harley shrugged. "What's done is done. Don't make much difference anyways. It's not like he'd ever be out in time for my future wedding or anything like that. Though I definitely won't be having one if things with Happy go anywhere. Could you imagine?"

Both girls cracked up laughing, but Roxy grew serious for a moment. "Wait, things going places with Happy?"

Harley smiled. "I dunno. We've been hanging around this whole week, and he didn't make a move on me till last night. We'd been joking around and having fun and shit. Flirting like crazy. But he waited. I dunno, there's just something about him."

"Wow. I never thought you'd go for Happy. Don't get me wrong he is crazy hot, emphasis on the crazy, but he's like old enough to be your dad."

Harley let out a short laugh. "Calm down, he's only 38, that makes him 10 years older."

"No way."

"Yup. Anyways enough about me and my daddy issues. How did Juicer like his birthday party?" She blew on her coffee, not expecting the juicy information about to come.

Roxy sighed. "Maybe a little too much."

Harley turned to face her best friend. "Oh no, he didn't invite a crow eater back to his room did he?" She laughed. Harley didn't think he'd be so stupid but then she saw the blush on Roxy's face and thought maybe he was. "He did, didn't he?"

"Well not exactly, I invited her back to his room..."

Harley just sat in stunned silence, staring at her friend. In all the years she'd known Roxy this was the craziest shit she'd ever done. Harley was the outlandish one, both in personality and sexuality. Let's face it her mum was a porn star while she grew up and then she started work at the studio at 16. "So this is gunna need an explanation." She prompted.

Roxy let her head fall into her hands and let out a longer groan. "It was soooo stupid. I dunno what came over me. I shouldn't be allowed to drink that much."

"Just spill."

"Well he was over at the pole watching with the Indian Hills guys, I went over to go sit with him but Alana," Harley raised an eyebrow at the first name basis, "started giving him a lap dance. The guys were all making comments about him being pussy whipped and so, I dunno, I figured I'd show them he wasn't. Boost his ego a bit, show off kinda. I didn't intend for it to go as far as it did." She sighed and lit up another smoke while Harley watched with an amazed expression. "So anyways, from what I can remember we started making out and Alana asked if I wanted to take it to the bedroom. And we did. Oh my god." She hid her face in shame as she recalled the events of the night before.

"It couldn't have been that bad, surely?" She rubbed Roxy's hand in encouragement.

"Well he kicked her out. God I'm so embarrassed. It was such a stupid idea."

Harley knew exactly what had happened then. "What exactly happened before he kicked her out?"

"Well, uh, I guess we kinda put a show on for him. She went down on me and then when we were done she was about to, you know, blow him but he just kicked her out."

Harley laughed and Roxy glared at her. "That explains so much."

"I'm glad you find this so amusing." Roxy ground out, totally unimpressed with her friend's behaviour.

"It's not that. I'm so proud of Juicy babes."

"For being embarrassed of me?"

"No of course he wasn't." She leaned forward. "Look, guys claim that having a threesome would be the hottest shit ever, but very, very few guys can actually follow through with it with a long term partner." She said matter-of-factly.

"Why?"

"Too jealous, possessive. It's really not as sexy as they think it will be when they see someone else pleasuring their partner. Don't even matter if it's girl on girl." She leaned forward. "You know how possessive these guys are. There's no way Juice could just sit there and watch, he'd want to be the one doing the pleasing. I've heard soooooo many stories like this. Some of the girls who would do hooking before Cara Cara told us this kinda thing happened to them more than once. Most people think it'd be the girl getting jealous and calling it off but more often than not its the dude."

"Huh, didn't think of it that way."

"Sure. You know what it's like in the MC world, so chauvinistic and possessive, you're his. He isn't gunna like watching you with anyone else, male or female."

"Well that explains so much. At least I can tick two things off my bucket list. Being with a girl and trying a threesome."

Both girls cackled and set about finishing their coffees.

"But hey, props to you, Alana is pretty hot and good at what she does." Harley laughed with a wink.

"That she is."

xxx xxx

Roxy eventually made her way back to Juice's dorm after a little while catching up with Harley.

She opened the door slowly so as not to wake him and found him still tangled up in the comforter, he wasn't snoring though which was a tell tale sign he was not sleeping.

"Morning birthday boy. How's the hangover?" She said brightly as she plopped herself down on the bed.

He groaned but turned to face her. "I should be asking you the same thing." He chuckled, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, I'm fine. Pounding head ache, stomach doing somersaults, but fine." She smiled and shimmied down so she was under the covers with him.

He curled an arm around her shoulders and pulled her in so her head was lying on his arm, Roxy instinctively slid her arm over his stomach and slipped her leg between his, effectively tangling them together.

The lay in silence for a few moments before they both tried to talk at the same.

Juice laughed and Roxy prodded for him to go first.

"Listen, about last night, I uh didn't want to like ruin your surprise or whatever." He rolled over so he was facing her, pulling his arm out from under her to support his head as he looked down at her. Roxy's smile slipped for a second until he trailed his free hand down her side. "Look, it's just, sharing you with someone else is too much. I thought it'd be like the ultimate fantasy, watching you and another chick, and it was for a bit. Hot as fuck actually. But uh, I couldn't have done it. And I couldn't have gone through with having sex with her. Not after I hurt you with Crystal. You're it for me now, I know that 100%. Other chicks just don't do it for me, the only reason I was turned on last night was because I was watching you let loose. Not her. I was jealous it was her making you like that, not me."

Roxy watched him for a moment, she didn't know what to say. She had no idea he felt like that. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to put you in that position. I think I just got carried away." She picked at a thread on the pillow, unable to meet his eyes, she was still feeling a bit too embarrassed.

"Hey I'm all for you getting carried away in the bedroom. But after last night I know I'm the only one I want you getting carried away with." He tilted her head up for a kiss. "You're mine, forever. I'm not gunna cheapen that with someone else. That's something you do with someone who's a fling, not someone who'd be a wife, it's disrespectful." At that bombshell he jumped up, surprisingly nimble for someone who's supposed to have a hangover, and made his way to the shower. Roxy admired his naked butt for a moment before snapping out of it.

He'd basically just said she was wife material.

xxx xxx

Roxy took Juice out for a proper hangover breakfast. The diner in town did do a healthy breakfast but Juice opted for full fat today. He was just finishing his last sausage and beans when Roxy gasped.

She looked up from her phone and stared at him.

"What?"

"Uh, there was a shooting at the school in town. Some elementary kid went in with an automatic weapon and opened fire on his class."

"Fuck." Juice rubbed his hand down his face. "Where'd you see that?"

"It's all over Facebook. One of the girls I went to school with is a teacher there. She's ok but a few kids and another teacher have died."

"They say what kinda gun?"

Roxy narrowed her eyes at him. "Why? This something to do with you guys? Please tell me not." She studied his face, his features still marred by the beat down Chibs had given him.

"Nah, just curious is all." He avoided Roxy's gaze. He had a bad feeling about this. No sooner had the thought crossed his mind he got a call from Chibs, he flipped open to answer his burner as Roxy went back to her Facebook.

"Chibs."

"Juicy boy. Gotta get your arse back to the club house. Shits gone down."

"Yeah I think I know what."

"Aye. Not a good morning brother. See you soon." The line clicked off and Juice turned back to Roxy.

"Finished? I gotta head back to TM."

"Yeah, drop me off at Jax's first? Gunna spend some time with Tara. See how she is."

"Ok."

Roxy looped her arm through his as they left the diner, ready to face the unholy dramas of the day.

xxx xxx

Juice sat staring at the reaper tattooed on his arm, remembering the reason why he had it inked there in the first place. Brotherhood. Family. Sure there was violence and some wheeling and dealing but he never thought about anything like today.

No. Today, they had played a part in killing innocents. Of course they hadn't meant for the boy to get a hold of the gun, but he did, and they put it in his reach.

Now this, on top of everything else he'd been party or witness to that day, Jax was asking him to do this.

He stared at the needle in his hands as Fiasco watched on, his eyes flickered over Fiasco before looking down to Darvany, who was currently tied down to the bed, her pretty blue eyes darting around the room.

"Hey, relax." He said as he stroked her arm. She nodded but her eyes flicked to Fiasco again. It was obvious she was scared of him. "I got it dude."

Fiasco nodded and left the room, he should probably go help Nero with burying Arcadio and watching Juice shoot her up wasn't really all that exciting.

Darvany let out a small sigh at his departure and visibly relaxed knowing what was coming. Juice tapped the syringe with his forefinger, expertly, he knew what he was doing. He'd seen his mum do it a million times as a kid, then when she left him and he landed in foster care he figured 'what the hell' and gave it a try for himself. Luckily his girlfriend at the time convinced him to give it up after a while, or his life probably would have taken a very different direction.

He stroked Darvany's arm and found the vein. Satisfied with the choice he lined up the shot and watched as her eyes rolled back in her head, already feeling the effects as soon as the needle pierced her skin.

"I'll come back and check on you later. Just rest for a bit."

Darvany barely nodded in recognition of his words and Juice left her to it, closing the door softly behind him.

He sighed as he walked back into the kitchen, adding 'shooting up a traumatised woman' to his list of bad shit for the day. Feeling the intensity of his anxiety growing he met Jax's eyes. "She good?" He asked, blowing out a stream of smoke.

"Yeah." Juice nodded as he made his way to the sink to scrub the dirty feelings away. Jax nodded and stubbed his smoke out, moving out of the kitchen and leaving Juice alone with his thoughts, the soap, and boiling water.

xxx xxx

Roxy had arrived at Tara and Jax's house just after lunch. She'd stayed at the clubhouse after the guys all left, she figured she should help the Prospects clean up a little seeing as it was her Old Man's party and she'd not done much of the setting up.

When she arrived at Tara's, however, Lowen was leaving. It hit Roxy then that Tara could be going to serve serious time and those poor boys would be without a mother. It brought her back to the days of jealousy that Tara had everything Roxy wanted, the family, and the job, the perfect life. Now it was all crumbling away, thanks to Jax. Roxy had since been told by Tara that she had been sent to the prison on Jax's bidding and now not only was Tara in the shit but Otto was too, leaving Harley in the lurch. Jax was so busy trying to destroy Clay that he was destroying everything else as well. Including his family.

Roxy and Juice may not have their baby but they had each other, sure their relationship had been through some shit but it was stronger than ever now. Roxy's escapades last night being proof of that.

After some time with Tara and the boys, lots of coffee and talking, she left their house feeling good about herself and her relationship. Something she hadn't felt for a while. Although she was sad for Jax and Tara she couldn't help but feel like maybe things were going right for her for once.

xxx xxx

"What happened, ese?" Juice found himself on the end of Nero's interrogation.

"I dunno, man. Gave her half the 10 pack." He held up the kit. "Look, check the balloon. There's still dope in it."

Fiasco had gone to check on Darvany half an hour after Juice had finished with her and she was dead. Juice was adamant he hadn't caused her death though... He couldn't have. He didn't give her the full amount. Thinking he'd best save some for her later on. No way that dose should have killed her. Could it?

Jax had even gone to check on her when he left the kitchen. He said she was fine then. Then the suspicions kicked in. Jax was being shifty, he'd gone to check on her even though Juice knew she was fine. It was obvious Jax had wanted to shoot her earlier when he'd disarmed her as she was trying to flee. Keeping her quiet was going to be a hard task after all, and a huge risk. But at the end of the day they didn't kill innocents. That's not what the Sons do.

Juice couldn't prove anything, plus there's no way he'd out Jax in front of everyone like this, but he couldn't help his mind racing with guilt at suspecting his president, or suspecting himself for doing something wrong and causing her death.

"Look, who knows what else she took. Probably took something before she went commando." Jax tried to play the peacekeeper, but Nero eyed him sceptically and pulled Jax to the kitchen.

Juice watched on as they talked in there, not hearing much of the conversation but did her Jax standing up for him as they left the kitchen. "Juice knows what he's doing with that shit, man. It wasn't his fault."

Happy and Chibs both looked over at Juice upon hearing the discussion, Chibs with a sympathetic look on his face.

"Can you handle this? I gotta get home and see the wife." Jax asked Chibs, who agreed. Jax gave him a hug before coming over to the door, stopping by Juice to give him a hug and brotherly kiss. Juice had no idea of the guilt wracking Jax now upon learning he'd just killed a mother of two kids.

xxx xxx

Juice arrived home very late that night. He'd stayed behind to help bury Arcadio and Davrany after Jax had bailed. Then he went the long way home from the cabin to clear his mind. He hated the doubts running through it and the guilt swirling in his stomach. He felt like he couldn't face Roxy, but Juice knew that she was the only one who'd be able to calm him down right now. So eventually he turned and made his way home.

Roxy had been messaging and calling him but aside from a quick reply to say he was fine he hadn't responded. She'd obviously tried to stay up for him as when he walked in the door she was passed out on the sofa, hair falling over the arm of the sofa and her face, while she'd pulled the blanket over her curled legs.

Juice shrugged off his kutte and hung it in the hook before placing his boots in their spot on the rack. He walked quietly over to the sofa and knelt beside her head, stroking her hair he woke her up slowly.

"Hey baby. Want to come to bed?"

Roxy's eyes fluttered open and after she focussed she took in his battered face, still showing signs of Chibs' fists. She sighed and ran her thumb over one of the particularly bad cuts. Chibs had apologised to Juice when he found out what happened, and as a result Juice enjoyed his birthday in the company of his brothers. But she thought it still hurt him deep down, knowing Chibs could inflict such pain on him just like that.

"You ok?" She whispered sleepily.

"Yeah. Just want to go to bed."

Roxy nodded and sat up. She rubbed her eyes before taking his hand and stumbling to her feet. She dragged him down the hall to their bedroom and watched as he undressed himself. She snuggled up into the comforter and waited for Juice to slide in before wrapping her arms around him and snuggling into him to fall asleep. Juice stroked her hair, breathing deeply as he felt her body becoming heavy with sleep, wishing he could find the same peace.


	81. Chapter 81

**A/N: jet lag is killing me so lots of writing. Thanks as always for the reviews. Hope you enjoy!**

Juice woke up with a start the next morning, sunlight falling through the curtains to rest on his face. Roxy wasn't beside him and he didn't remember falling asleep, he'd been tossing and turning all night. He looked over at his alarm clock and noticed it was already 9am. After focusing a bit more he heard Roxy rummaging around in the kitchen so he hopped out of bed to go join her.

"Oh sorry I didn't mean to wake you, I tried to roll out of bed as stealthily as possible."

He walked over to give her a kiss on the head. "It's ok. Had a bit of a disrupted night."

"What happened?" She poured them both coffees and sat down at the kitchen table as Juice set about making a breakfast smoothie.

Juice sighed, he didn't want to tell her they were to blame for the shooting but at the same time she had to know. Plus she could help him sort the mess in his head.

"Well, we were partly to blame for that shooting." He admitted. Roxy gasped and then looked down at her coffee.

"Shit JC. What happened?"

"The mom of the kid was dating one of Nero's crew. He had the gun off us and the boy found it. He was real messed up apparently and when he'd found the gun and the clips he took the opportunity." He sighed before buzzing his Nutri bullet a few times, giving Roxy time to think of a response.

She waited for the whirring to stop before talking again. "It's not really you guys' fault. He shouldn't have left an automatic weapon just lying around. Plus that kid shoulda had more help. I heard that DA on the news talking about it."

Juice nodded. "I guess." He weighed up whether he should tell her the suspicions he had about Jax but that would involve him telling her he'd given Darvany drugs and all the rest of it and he just couldn't bring himself to do that.

"You ok JC? You know this isn't on you guys. There were so many other factors at play here."

He nodded again, but Roxy thought the movement looked jerky and forced. "Yeah. I should get going to the clubhouse."

Roxy sighed and looked down at her cup. "Ok. Guess I'll see you later."

Juice took in her dejected look, she was still slightly embarrassed from everything that happened at his party so he put down his smoothie and crossed over to her. "Look, remember I promised you a date and it'll be tonight yeah? Come hell or high water I'm taking my girl out."

Roxy smiled. "Ok. Might relax me. I have my first day tomorrow!"

"Shit. Really? That's cool."

"Yup. No more working at TM for me... Well I'll probably be conned into working there more seeing as Ma is always busy with Nero now."

"It'll all calm down." He dropped a kiss on her head. "Why don't you take the card and go get some new clothes for work? And our date tonight."

Roxy smiled and rolled her eyes as she stood up. "You're such a good 1950s husband." She pecked him on the cheek. "Of course I'll go on a spending spree, might even convince Harley to come along." Juice was about to protest, they had some good money at the moment but Harley was a bad influence when it came to spending, but Roxy cut him off. "She has such good taste in lingerie after all."

xxx xxx

Everything was a bit hectic when Juice got down to the clubhouse. As soon as he arrived Chibs ushered him into the garage where Unser was being stitched up by Tara. Some aryans had broken in and carved a swasticka into his stomach and they had no idea why. When Jax arrived he was livid, the Prospects were sent to the warehouse and the rest of them were called into the chapel for an emergency church. A couple of the guys from SAMDINO were down to discuss some things but Juice wasn't really paying attention. He was too busy worrying about yesterday.

He stared at the reaper carved into the wood on the table. Such a fitting logo for their club, for their president. After more thought Juice was no convinced Jax was behind Darvany's death and he was going to question him on it. He was startled from his thoughts with the sound of the chairs pushing away from the table. He jumped to his feet, sucking in the courage he needed to talk to Jax but Chibs was also gunning for a chat with their pres so he waited out in the barroom.

A few tense minutes later, Jax entered the bar and Juice headed over to him.

"Can we talk?"

"Now's not the time Juice."

Juice sighed. "It's about Darvany. I know what happened Jax."

By the look in Juice's eyes Jax knew he was onto him. Jax stumbled on his words for a moment but was saved in the nick of time by Les, the SAMDINO president, needing to chat to Jax.

Juice sighed and rubbed his head, this brain fuzz was not going to go away. He needed to know why Jax did what he did. This was gunna be a long day.

xxx xxx

The guys found themselves at Darby's house in their search for the guys who carved Unser. Juice had managed to track him down after his run in with Jax.

Juice was fidgety and in good spirits surprisingly, thanks to his lack of sleep last night he'd resorted to Red Bull, knowing that it would make his mind race more he had to take it, it was that or lay his bike down on the trip.

Jax chuckled, catching Juice's straying attention, thanks red bull. "You and Rat. Tell em you're father and son. They love that shit."

Tig looked incredulous as the rest of the group chuckled. "Wait, wait, what? Really? Really? Me? Come on. You think I look old enough to be his old man?"

Juice eyed his hair. "If you wash that black shoe polish outta your hair."

Tig stared at him. "Coming from a guy who's had a faux-hawk since the ninth grade." Juice chuckled.

"Come on, dad. We can do this." Rat chipped in, smirking.

"My old man used to rape me. Just saying." Tig turned on his heel and left the group.

"Now it all makes sense." Juice chuckled to Rat as they brought up the rear.

Juice was tasked with watching Tig and Rats' backs as they tried to infiltrate Gerber's group. They believed he was behind Unser's attack and it was time to get even. Juice didn't mind. He liked Unser and he'd been dealt a shitty hand recently, kept getting kicked when he was down, thanks to the club.

He watched as Tig and Rat drove down the dirt track in Darby's blue pick up. Juice kicked down his kick stand and relaxed in the seat, hoping he wouldn't be stuck here with Darby for too long. What the fuck do you say to an ex AB member who'd once upon a time have cut him for his skin colour. So he opted for silence, let Darby break it if he wanted.

They sat in silence for five or so minutes, Juice taking out his phone to message Roxy, Darby looked like he was about to say something when an old beat up van came screaming up behind them. This wasn't good.

The three burly guys had them outnumbered. Juice had pulled his gun but there was no use, by the time he shot one the other two would have his brains in the dirt. Juice resisted as they advanced on him and pulled him off his bike, yelling at them when they kicked it over.

"Motherfuckers!"

"I'd shut up if I were you. Fuckin' wetback scum."

Juice elbowed him in the ribs which earned him a right hook to his already bruised cheek. After that he stopped struggling and let them shove him unceremoniously into the van. Panicking would achieve nothing and he just prayed this shit would be done in time for his date tonight.

They took a short, hate filled ride, most of it aimed at Juice, but some at Darby for betraying the cause. Juice couldn't help but hope that it hurt Darby now he had a Latino wife and maybe he'd get a taste of his own medicine.

They pulled up with skid and Juice fell forward hitting his chin off the wheel arch in the back of the van, great another fucking bruise to add to the list. Then he was pulled up by the scruff of his neck and shoved out of the van into the dirt.

"Look what we found strolling along the main road. A race traitor and his spic boyfriend."

Juice turned to say something back but Rat's yelling caught them all by surprise. "I'll blow his shit out!" He yelled as he pulled Gerber into a headlock.

"He means brains. He's a little excited right now." Tig clarified unnecessarily, the gun to the head kind of gave away his intentions.

"Yeah, so put down the guns." Rat added.

Juice looked around as everyone had weapons drawn. His being turned on him by one of the AB. "Now!" Rat yelled.

Gerber told his men to stand down and they all released their weapons, which Juice, Tig, and Darby happily scooped up.

"Boyfriend, you're driving." Tig shouted as he threw the keys to Juice. It was known to all that Juice was the preferred get away driver, he was nimble behind the wheel having spent a lot of his youth joy riding through the streets of Queens, where as the rest of them were bike guys through and through.

"I got it. In the back." Juice called as they loaded Gerber into the back of the pick up.

"Fucking hell." Juice sighed as they sped down the road, watching in the rear view mirror as Darby booted Gerber in the face before Tig kicked him off the back of the tray. "That was some crazy shit Rat. Respect, brother."

Rat smiled happily to himself, being called brother was exciting and gave him a feeling of acceptance. He'd looked up to Juice as a Prospect. Chibs had been Juice's sponsor and now he was Rat's so they were kinda bonded in that sense. So hearing Juice praise him kept him happy.

xxx xxx

"You heard much from your dad?" Harley questioned over their cocktails. They'd hit up Applebee's now they'd finished at the mall for some refreshments.

"Nope. After he sent me that package he rejected my visitation requests. Juice says he probably doesn't want anyone in there to see me. Leverage I guess." Roxy stirred her 'Sex on the Beach' absentmindedly.

"Mmm. Makes sense." Harley slammed back her shot before starting on her cocktail. VLin and Phil had dropped them off on their way to the warehouse and one of the Diosa girls, who was visiting her boyfriend in Stockton would be picking them up later which meant they could drink as much as they wanted.

"How's Otto?"

"Stopped getting letters from him. Can't visit him. I don't know. I've sent him a letter through his lawyer so I know for sure he gets it. So just wait and see what he says."

"I'm sorry." Roxy reached over and squeezed Harley's hand as she dabbed her eyes as. "Happier topic. So? Happy?"

Harley chuckled at the change in topic. "Yeah. He's good. Came round mine last night, fucking late, scared the shit out of me banging on my door like that. Met him with a Glock to the face. He was impressed."

"I bet he was. So what happened?"

Harley shrugged. "He spent the night." She pulled the strawberry off the cocktail stick.

"And?"

"Want me to go into detail of every spank and hickey?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, maybe not."

"How'd Juice recover after his little birthday adventure?"

"He's good. We sorted it out. Turns out you were right."

Harley lit up with a triumphant smile. "When am I not?"

"Mmm. Well he's taking me out tonight remember? So we can't get too drunk."

"Speak for yourself. Drunk sex with Happy is amazing. Maybe I'll invite him over tonight and recreate it."

Roxy rolled her eyes at Harley and gulped down some more of her cocktail. A happy buzz would certainly make her date prep more enjoyable.

xxx xxx

Juice was shitty that somehow he'd copped the blame from Jax for what went down at Gerber's. Not much he could do about it but Jax was being an ass. Juice felt like he was always going to be proving himself. Juice didn't know if Jax knew Chibs knew what really went down with RICO. So Jax probably thought he still had shit over Juice.

His thoughts were cut short as they pulled up at the warehouse. The Irish were no where to be seen. Then they spotted the pool of blood on the dirt.

"PHIL! VLIN!" Chibs yelled.

Happy pulled open the doors to the warehouse while the rest took aim just in case. Juice had a flash back to Ireland just then, what is it with the fucking Irish and messing about with warehouses? Luckily this one didn't blow up. The sight that met them inside would probably scar him forever. Lying in front of the open door were Phil and VLin's kuttes with their severed hands placed on top. To the right of that horrible sight were the rest of them. Arms and legs hacked off. Juice felt like he was going to be sick at the thought of his brothers being destroyed in such a way. He just prayed to God they were dead before the Irish butchered them.

The worst task of his life to date was helping Happy pack the boys into the crates. Happy was tough about shit like this. Juice was not. It turned his stomach, sure it affected Happy seeing brothers like that, but he could switch off that part of his brain that felt hurt and pain, Juice's was just more sensitive.

He rolled back into the clubhouse with Happy and dismounted his bike to help unload the van. He didn't even think about Roxy until he'd gone in to the clubhouse for a drink. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed the side of his head. She seemed tipsy already but he didn't say anything. She didn't look sad so he guess she did not know what had taken place that afternoon.

"Hey baby. Ready for our date?"

Juice looked at her for a second, taking in the short blue skater dress with the plunging neckline. It made her eyes pop, highlighted by the makeup, long hair curled around her face. Usually he'd be rock hard by now with the sight of her cleavage in that dress. But he wasn't feeling it.

"No one told you?"

"Told me what?"

"We are on lockdown. Irish took out Phil and VLin." Juice said bluntly. He didn't feel like beating around the bush.

Roxy gasped and clutched her hand to her chest. "Oh my gosh. Why? How?"

"You don't want to know."

The tears started flowing as Roxy came to terms with the most recent losses. "They only just dropped us off shopping this morning." She managed to sob out. "VLin and I shared a joint like we usually do."

Juice pulled her into his arms and rocked her back and forth.

"I know baby. I'm sorry."

Roxy wrapped her arms around his back and squeezed, burying her face into his chest. "No I'm sorry. They're your brothers."

Juice squeezed her in return. They stood rocking silently for a few minutes, Tig and some of the others coming and going around them as they comforted each other. The rest of them were getting ready to seek revenge.

Tig approached and tapped Roxy on the shoulder. "Roxy, doll? We gotta go baby."

Roxy released Juice and looked up to Tig. "I'm sorry Tig."

"Me too baby. They were good kids." He placed a hand on the back of her neck, pulled her in, and dropped a kiss to her head. "But we're gunna go slit some throats now so I need Juicer with me."

Roxy flicked her eyes over to Juice now. "Please be careful."

Juice nodded and pulled her in for a long, hopefully reassuring kiss. "Of course." He gave her one more peck before turning to follow Tig, calling out to her as he left. "We are staying here tonight. Do not leave the clubhouse!"

Roxy nodded and sat back down at the bar. Sighing when she realised VLin would never be on the other side again. She sighed, stood up, and went round to the back of the bar and found his hidden stash of absinth. They'd had a couple of good nights with it while the guys were in Stockton.

She poured three shots, raised the first, "VLin. Phil." She said simply, chinked it with the other glasses, then downed the three in quick succession.

xxx xxx

The guys rode down to the same spot Juice had stopped in with Darby before. They retrieved their weapons from the van and set off to Gerber's house. Juice's heart was thrumming with nervous energy yet his mind was surprisingly clear for once. He knew this had to happen. On the ride over he'd come to terms with it and it felt good to let out some of the pent up aggression and rage from finding his brothers in that mess. VLin wasn't technically his brother yet, having not been given his top rocker, but he'd looked after Roxy on more than one occasion and that earned him a spot in the family in his book.

They lined up outside Gerber's ranch and opened fire, obliterating every single one of those hate filled pricks and Juice didn't feel a shred of guilt, his mind painfully calm.

By the time they'd set the scene and burned down the ranch it was getting dark and they rode back to the clubhouse through dusk.

Juice helped Happy quickly load up the van then ran inside to see Roxy. He found her in one of the booths with Harley. She was still wearing her dress, but now she'd kicked off her stilettos and her makeup had been rubbed off slightly from where she'd been crying. Some of the more well known crow eaters were commiserating with the girls over the loss and the group were all quite merry.

"Baby. Yeah you ok?" She queried as she noticed the blood spatter on his kutte, from moving one of the bodies at the ranch.

"Yeah I'm good. Just going to Oswald's." He gave Roxy a meaningful look, she knew they were going to bury the boys. So she stepped on her tip toes and gave him a solid kiss before telling him to be safe and watch him run back out to the lot.

Happy strode past the table to the bar to grab some Whisky to take with them. On his way back he caught Harley's eye and winked before continuing back to the lot.

Digging the hole big enough for the two crates in the dark was a challenge. And a challenge that fell to Happy and Rat to take care of. Juice was tired and he just wanted to crawl into bed with Roxy and forget this day ever happened. As soon as they were finished here that's exactly what he planned on doing.

Once they had the crates in the hole they placed the kuttes on top and doused the whole pit with petrol. Chibs lit a match and threw it down and they all stood silent as they watched the flames engulf their fallen brothers.

xxx xxx

By the time Juice and Happy made it back to the clubhouse it was pushing midnight. The others had gone back an hour or so ago but Juice and Happy had to fill in the hole. Jax wasn't there, opting to go and seek out some comfort in Tara.

He was set to grab some Whisky and join the girls at their table but when he saw them Roxy was sat up on the sofa, bottle of absinth in one hand that she'd periodically swig from, while the other stroked Harley's hair. Harley was laying down with her head in Roxy's lap, occasionally sniffling which earned her a soft whisper from Roxy.

Happy and Juice exchanged looks, thinking there's no way the girls were this upset over VLin and Phil... No offence to them of course.

Tig met the two confused bikers at the door ushering them back outside before the girls saw them.

"What's going on?" Happy questioned lowly, twirling his toothpick with his tongue. Juice found the habit irritating as hell, but there's no way he'd tell the Tacoma Killer that.

"Otto's lawyer called about 45 minutes ago. Otto's dead."

"Shit." Juice breathed out, knowing that not only would Roxy be sad for her friend, but Otto was like a father to her growing up. She'd be devastated too.

Happy rubbed a hand over his stubbly scalp. He was starting to enjoy Harley's company, girl was hot as hell, funny, easy going, knew the club life, and kinky as fuck in the bedroom. A fantastic combination in his eyes. But it had been a long time since he'd had any interest in a girl for more than somewhere to put his dick so thinking about having to walk in there and comfort her was suffocating. He took a step back and lit up a joint he had stashed.

"What happened?" Juice turned his attention back to Tig, knowing Happy wouldn't know what to do here.

"Well from what the lawyer knows, Otto stabbed that Marshall that'd been sniffing around from Tara's arrest. Then went for the guards and they shot him, self defence." Tig sighed. "From what I heard he had it pretty fucking rough towards the end there. Harley doesn't know that. But probably best he's gone to be honest."

Happy rejoined the group, he'd decided to suck up his discomfort. He enjoyed Harley's company and if it took some comforting on his part to keep her around then he'd oblige. He passed the joint to Juice who took a few tokes before passing it back.

"Guess we should get in there." He clapped Happy's back and the three made their way back in to the clubhouse.


	82. Chapter 82

**A/N: thanks lennon and Ang R for your reviews as always. And also hello to the new followers and favourite-rs. Feedback is welcome so let me know what you think or want to see. This is the longest chapter by far but I just kept writing over a few days and didn't realise till after haha. Shit's getting real in Charming!**

Roxy groaned as Juice woke her up, her head was already pounding and she hadn't even opened her eyes yet. Juice luckily had the sense to take her home last night as she was supposed to start her new job today.

"Come on baby, you gotta get up, you got work today."

"Not till 10. What time is it?" She mumbled into her pillow.

"7am."

She half groaned half cried into her pillow before turning her head to look at him. Juice was already up and dressed ready for the day, his tight gray shirt highlighting his pecs and biceps. But Roxy was too hungover to think about that. She pushed herself up from the bed and let out a cry as the full hit of her hangover washed over her.

"Here I brought you some advil and water. Take it, have a shower, then come out and I'll give you breakfast." He soothed.

Roxy simply nodded and made her way to the bathroom. By the time she was finished with her shower she felt much better. She quickly blew dry her hair and slipped on her dressing gown to go join Juice for breakfast.

"So how are you feeling now?" Juice asked softly.

"Better than Harley I imagine. Gosh I don't know what to do." She sighed.

"Yeah I know. Happy's got her for now, he messaged and said Gemma was popping round later so she won't be alone for long." He placed scrambled eggs on toast down in front of her along with a juice and a banana.

Roxy smiled and tucked in to her breakfast, she was going to need this today if she was going to make it through the day. Not only was she battling the hangover from hell but she was mourning the loss of a father figure, she just hoped he was at peace now.

"It's good that Happy is looking after her. Things must be getting kinda serious there if he's doing that."

Juice raised his eyebrows. "You're telling me. I've never known him to even speak to a chick longer than to tell them to suck his dick."

Roxy snickered, she'd witnessed that order on more than one occasion. The unsuspecting sweet butt giggling her way towards his room then emerging some time later with a shocked, yet satisfied, expression on their faces.

They finished their breakfasts in silence. Roxy didn't really want to talk about much, she just needed to process it all in her own head before dumping on Juice. Juice on the other hand had no idea what to say. He'd heard some of the shit Tig had found out about Otto's last weeks on this earth and it wasn't pretty. Tig knew a couple guys in there still and they'd informed him of the prison gossip, this Marshall, Toric, had been arranging 'special visits' for Otto every day. Juice just prayed to God he never found himself in that position.

xxx xxx

Roxy arrived 15 minutes early for her official orientation day, even managing to stop for coffee on the way in.

She handed Joey his usual coffee, well it was his usual back in school, and followed him into his modest office.

She scoped the room which had five desks centred around a conference table in the middle, filing cabinets and bookshelves lining every wall, and stacks of paperwork occupying every surface. The office was fairly large, with plenty walking room round all the desks. Sunlight flooded in from the two large windows occupying most of the outside wall, and the noise from the main bullpen filtered in through the open door and the windows separating this team's office from the main Child Protective Services floor.

Roxy was ecstatic as the tour continued, meeting a variety of people from different programs. However after grabbing lunch Joey led her back into their office which was still empty. It was obvious others worked in here judging by the state of their desks, Roxy's being the only one without anything on it, but she'd yet to see another face.

"The rest of the team are out on the road. Only time we are all in the office together is Friday's when we do paperwork and case files." He answered her unasked question.

"That explains it then. Will be good to meet everyone else." She looked up from her chicken salad.

"Yeah they're a good bunch. After this I'll get you set up with your case load and show you the system."

Roxy beamed back at him as she looked over at her desk from their seats at the meeting table in the middle of the room. She was filled with joy in her new position and couldn't wait to throw herself back into work, something that was just hers and would give her a break from all the club shit.

xxx xxx

Juice rolled out from underneath the pickup he'd been working on. He was covered head to toe in grease and mud. Whoever brought their truck in to be fixed hadn't bothered to clean the underneath first and it was caked in mud from whatever fun they'd had on the weekend. It was probably what led to their truck being here in the first place.

He groaned as he stood up, ready for his break and the sandwiches calling his name over in the clubhouse.

"Gem, just going for my lunch." He called as he wiped his hand off on his rag.

"How's it going with the truck?" She called back from the office door.

"Slow. Should be done soon, the clutch is a bitch to get to." He said as he walked over. "Promise it'll be done today." He answered to her frown.

Gemma nodded and waved him off as she answered the phone. Juice checked his phone as he made his way over to the clubhouse. Roxy hadn't messaged and he wondered what she was up to. He'd already sent her a message when he was out for a smoke break and still no response so he tried again. Sighing he flipped his phone shut and grabbed his sandwiches from the fridge before plonking down at a booth with a bottle of water.

Juice sat happily by himself, munching on his sandwich while he scrolled through the news site on his phone. Roxy had pestered him to get a Facebook but he knew how easily people could track you through social media so he refused. He'd then gone through Roxy's and changed all the settings to super private and disabled all the location services on her phone, paranoid that someone could use it against her. She was so deep with the club that it was a real possibility, Juice could easily do it on a rival so why wouldn't they do it to them.

Tig slapped the phone out of his hand as he slid onto the seat on the other side of the booth, smirking at Juice's protest as he hungrily ripped open his burger package.

Juice eyed the cheeseburger for a moment, knowing how good it would taste but he was resigned to his workout and healthy eating program. He'd just got his body the way he wanted and he wasn't giving it up that easy. Roxy always teased him for it, saying he was probably the only outlaw who put so much time into the way he looked, but then he'd take his shirt off and she'd soon be distracted.

"So how's the kid's job going?" Tig asked through a mouthful of burger. Juice winced as a bit flicked out and landed on the table in front of his sandwich.

"Haven't heard. Must be mega busy."

"That's good. Kid needs shit outside all a this."

"Yeah for sure. Still worry I'm holding her back."

Tig sighed. "Nah. I thought that at first. But she was miserable when you guys pulled that shit before Ireland. Never seen her as happy as when she's with you." He took a sip of his milkshake. "Just glad she's got this job though. Worked her ass off at school, deserves it."

"That she does." The men ate happily in silence for a few minutes before Juice broke it. "Heard anything about Clay recently?"

"Nope." Tig shook his head. "Don't really want to either. He really fucked up towards the end." Juice nodded slowly. "You disagree?"

"Nah not that I disagree. He did some fucked up shit. But then hasn't everyone? And Roxy is gunna be devastated if anything happens to him. She feels like she's only just getting the relationship she wanted from him."

"Too little, too late. He's only doing it cause he knows he's a dead man. Probably hopes she'll save him by inspiring mercy in us." He looked at Juice. "Shit comes down to it, you can't vote against the club dude. On a club level he deserves everything he's got coming his way."

Juice nodded silently again, mulling over Tig's words. He was right, Clay had fucked up big time. And that's when it came to him, Clay was only being nice to Juice in the hopes he'd take his side. Why else would he have bothered? Hell he'd ordered that target on Roxy with the Nomad shit. But now he was desperate to have her love him all of a sudden? "You're totally right brother." He said on a sad nod.

Tig sensed a change in conversation was needed. "So. Not worried about Roxy being in Lodi for this job?"

"Mmmm. Not really. She'll be on the road a lot and they got trackers n shit in their cars. Plus Grim Bastards are there so Jax said he's gunna give them a heads up. See what happens. I did tell her if shit goes down she's gotta do what I say and if that means no work then that's it."

"Yeah good. Well I hope she's having fun over there. Will do her good after Otto."

Hopefully not too much fun, Juice thought to himself as he checked for a reply again before shoving his phone into his pocket and packing up to go back to work.

xxx xxx

Roxy opened her phone at the end of the day to multiple messages from Juice asking how she was. She smiled, he seemed worried, as if she'd never been off on her own before or something. Then there were also two from Jax and Juice demanding she arrive back at the clubhouse for lockdown. Guess shit really was going down with the Irish after all. Rolling her eyes she shoved her phone into her pocket and started packing up her bits and pieces.

"So, wanna grab a drink? Celebrate your first day. Catch up and all that shit." Joey asked as he shut down his computer.

Roxy sighed, remembering Jax and Juice's messages. "Uhmm I gotta head back to Charming." Joey looked disappointed slightly, but Roxy had an idea. "You could come with me if you like? I gotta go to the clubhouse and there's a bar there."

Joey raised his eyebrows, he'd heard about her family and the MC from her before, obviously not details but he could imagine enough. He knew how secretive MCs were and was slightly curious of the whole brotherhood, gang, culture so to be invited like that was going to be a good experience.

"Yeah sure, I'll follow you back."

xxx xxx

Juice received a message from Roxy finally saying she was coming back to the clubhouse and was bringing company. He assumed at first it was Harley but he was wrong. In she walked with a tall, dark, and handsome guy. He was around Roxy's age, his dark hair cropped short but styled with gel. His chinos and shirt fit well, showing broad shoulders and lean legs.

Juice felt the burn of jealousy spread from his chest as he watched Roxy squeeze his arm, laughing at what he said as they walked through the door. The only saving grace was when he noticed Roxy's eyes light up as she spotted him at the bar with Tig and Chibs.

She walked directly over to Juice and slung her arms around his neck for a quick kiss. "Hey baby." She said quietly, stroking her fingers over the back of his mohawk.

But before Juice could pull her in for another kiss she had stepped away and grabbed Joey's arm to pull him into the group.

"Guys, this is Joey Russo, my boss, and Joey these are my guys. Tig, Chibs, and Juan Carlos." Roxy gestured to the three sitting at the bar.

Tig and Chibs offered their hands for handshakes easily and Juice took Joey's with a firm grip. "You can call me Juice. I'm Roxy's Old Man."

Roxy rolled her eyes at Juice's clear attempt at being the alpha male. She knew Joey would eat this shit up. There's no way he'd be interested in her. He wanted an Italian girl, with a big Italian family just like his. But they had similar senses of humour and it helped them get through their years at school together. Matt used to get jealous of their friendship all the time and Joey just loved pissing him off by deliberately getting too close to Roxy.

"Ah yeah, Roxy's been telling me all about you. Good to finally meet you after all this time." He squeezed Juice's hand back.

Juice dropped his hand and grabbed his beer again. Tig snickering behind his back knowing exactly what game Joey was playing.

"Yo Rat, can I get a vodka cola? And a..." She gestured to Joey.

"Beer is good." Rat nodded and set about finding their drinks.

The group sat and chatted for a while, for Roxy the distraction of Joey was a welcome one. She'd ignored her phone earlier in the day, wanting to forget about Otto, Phil, and VLin but as home time approached she knew she'd be at the clubhouse surrounded by everyone with no way out of that grief. But having Joey here meant they wouldn't talk about that stuff and she'd be free to laugh and think about something else for a bit.

They'd moved over to the booths after a while and Juice immediately pulled Roxy to sit on his lap resting one hand on her thigh as the other grasped his beer. Joey winked at Roxy and kept playing his little games. Roxy sniggering behind her drink, felt Juice's hand tighten on her thigh when ever Joey made a reference about their history together.

Luckily everyone was saved when Jax strolled into the clubhouse. "Church guys." He stopped as he noticed the new guy sitting at the table and made his way over to them. "Who's this?"

"Oh Jax this is Joey, my boss and friend from college."

"Nice to meet ya. But we got a meeting Rox."

Joey stood up. "That's my cue to leave." He downed the last of his beer. "Was nice meeting you all." He stood and shook the offered hands, Juice's was not one of them. "Take care of my latest and greatest employee, Juice." Roxy walked him to the door and he stopped to give Roxy a hug before whispering in her ear. "This was too fun. Good luck." Roxy laughed as they noticed the fire in Juice's eyes and said their goodbyes.

Roxy made her way back over to the booth and Tig and Chibs laughed before standing up and making their way over for church. Roxy plopped down next to Juice. "What's up? You ok?"

Juice picked at the label on his beer. "That's your boss, huh?"

"Yeah. He's a good guy."

"I'm sure he is." Juice huffed and moved to get up.

But Roxy didn't move. "What's wrong?"

Again, like a petulant child, Juice huffed, feeling Roxy's amusement. "Nothing."

Roxy relented and slid out of the booth so Juice could stand, but grabbed his hand and turned him to face her before he could leave entirely. "Baby you don't have to be jealous. We were just winding you up."

"Not cool." He looked down into her eyes. "But I wasn't jealous."

"Sure sure. Look you run along to church then after you can come show me how 'not jealous' you are."

Juice smirked and crowded her back so her thighs hit the edge of the table, hands dropping to her waist he pushed into her before catching her lips in a smooth kiss. "Oh I'll show you alright." He said against her lips before squeezing her hips once more and turning to walk over to the chapel where Chibs was calling for him.

xxx xxx

Church was quick, the guys were just organising where they had to go tonight for their stakeout. They were going to watch the Irish locations to see what they could find out. Jax wanted Roxy and everyone else to stay at the clubhouse while they figured out what the hell was going on. But luckily they had two hours till they needed to leave. So the first thing Juice was doing was taking Roxy back to his room. She wasn't at the bar when he walked out of the Chapel but Rat pointed him towards the dorms.

Juice unlocked the door to find Roxy lying on his bed hands behind her head, dozing. He locked the door behind him and quietly made his way over to the bed. Roxy stirred as he lay down next to her.

"So Mr. Jealous? How was church?" Roxy asked softly as she stroked his cheek.

Juice scowled. "I wasn't jealous babe. And it was fine."

"Sure sure." She winked.

"Well, should I be? You guys seem pretty cosy for my liking."

Roxy frowned. "No of course not. You know you're it for me. We are honestly just really good friends." Juice didn't seem convinced. "Joey is after some Italian girl to make lots of pasta and babies with. His Ma would kill him if he brought me home." She snickered. They'd often laughed at how stereotypical it was. But then Roxy's life was stereotypical of the MC culture so she could get away with making fun of him as he did of her.

Juice still looked sceptical but he nodded. "Ok. But just remember you're mine yeah? I'm not losing you again."

"I know, but remember how you said you'd show me? I need a reminder." Roxy smiled and pulled him in for a slow kiss.

Juice mumbled his agreement against her lips and moved to hover over her, his possessive streak winning out and wanting to claim what was his once again.

xxx xxx

"Well that'll show Joey." Roxy said sarcastically as she eyed the large hickey on her collar bone. "You're lucky I'm in the office on Friday, Ortiz. Otherwise I'm with clients and I'm sure you want a bunch of teenage boys seeing that shit." She smacked his arm as he chuckled behind her, tugging a fresh tshirt on over his head.

Tig had come pounding on the door a few minutes ago to get them to hurry it up for Juice to go.

"I don't care who knows you're mine." He gave her another quick kiss and squeezed her ass right where he'd spanked it before.

"And also, you give me a handprint like that again and I'm doing it back to you." She raised her eyebrow.

"Can't help it, you got such a sexy ass."

Roxy laughed. "Ok, off you go champ. Be safe n shit. Need more love when you come back tonight."

"Always baby."

Roxy followed him out to the bar and said her goodbyes to everyone. Jax was looking particularly downtrodden so Roxy made her way over.

"You ok bro?"

Jax puffed on his cigarette. "What do you think? Lost two guys yesterday."

Roxy's smile fell. "I know. Just hope you're ok."

"Always am." Jax squeezed her shoulder and walked past to go to the door. Looking anything but ok.

xxx xxx

Juice was bored out his mind sitting in the truck with Tig. Usually they'd have a laugh together but the circumstances tonight weren't the best. It was only 9pm and they were stuck outside the Irish bar all night on a stake out.

Roxy was also bored but kept busy back at the clubhouse with Harley. She'd arrived not long after Juice left with Happy dropping her off. Usually they'd have gossiped and had a laugh, but tonight Harley was still drowning her sorrows, with Chucky bringing them constant refills. Roxy's job was simply to serve as a drinking and commiseration buddy, her mind frequently going to Clay who she was petrified for now since Otto's death. Otto's passing wasn't exactly club related but it just served as a reminder for the lack of safety inside. Chucky was also taking Otto's death hard and he and Harley shared a few conversations reminiscing her dad. That allowed Roxy to get lost in her thoughts for a while.

Back at the stakeout, Juice was deep in thought about Roxy. Hoping that she'd be ok and this shit would end soon. Juice was snapped from his thoughts by the lights flicking off at the bar. Tig looked to him and they both nodded before Tig flipped open his burner.

"Place is closed. No Gaalan, no Connor. Anything there?... You think SAMBEL got us good Intel?... Yeah I'll check in with Chibs." He settled back in his chair as he dialled Chibs' burner number.

This was gunna be a long ass night.

xxx xxx

Juice hadn't returned back to the clubhouse last night. Whatever task they were on had kept them busy and he'd simply sent her a message saying he loved her and goodnight. Gemma asked Roxy to stay with Tara today, Rat was to look after them both and the boys. After Roxy helped Tara load them into the car she hopped in the front seat and waited for her. She shot Juice a text to see how he was, but didn't expect a reply till later.

Tara jumped into the front seat and buckled up before following Rat out of the lot.

"So what we doing today Doc?"

"Gotta talk to Lowen. Margaret's letting me borrow my old office so that's good seeing as I gotta get more tests while I'm there."

Roxy looked at Tara from her view out the window. "Tests?"

"Didn't Jax tell you? I'm 8 weeks pregnant."

"Oh my god! Jax doesn't tell me shit. Congratulations." Roxy was happy for her brother and Tara but still the jealousy burned in her heart. Her periods had been all over the shop since she lost the baby a year ago. Any time she thought she could be pregnant she'd take a test and it would just turn out it was a longer cycle. So she'd given up all together right now.

"Thanks Rox." She gave Roxy a sympathetic smile, knowing it would hurt her hearing the news. This was the part Tara felt guiltiest about in what she was doing.

For a while Tara had thought about asking Roxy to be the boys' guardians. But her and Juice deserved to have their own and that wouldn't happen if they were worried about Abel and Thomas. So she'd decided against it. Plus Wendy would take the boys away form Charming where Roxy would not.

"How are you guys doing with all that?"

Roxy cringed. She didn't really need to be reminded but she knew Tara's heart was in the right place. "Gunna try some fertility treatments. My doc reckons if they can control implantation at the right, exact time of the month and on the right side of my uterus it could be successful. High risk pregnancy, but it could work. But IVF is pricey so we're waiting for the right time."

Tara grabbed Roxy's hand and squeezed. "I'm so sorry all this happened."

Roxy sighed. "It's ok. It's Gabriel's first birthday next week. Chose to kinda mark that rather than the anniversary of the accident."

"Fair enough. Doing anything special?"

"Tattoos." She looked out the window again. Tara took the hint and left her in peace for the rest of the trip. Roxy wished more than anything she'd just stayed back at the clubhouse.

xxx xxx

After all their running around with the Irish that morning, including literally running into the Irish, Juice had been glad to leave the warehouse, ready to see Roxy again.

But when he got back to the lot she was out with Tara and Rat. Juice's stomach twisted. It's not that he'd thought Rat wasn't capable of looking after Roxy, he pulled some crazy shit at the Gerber ranch the other day, but he was still just a Prospect and wasn't as invested in the club as a full patch might be. He'd just wished Jax had tasked one of the Tacoma guys with looking after them at least.

His ringing phone caught his attention and he hastily pulled it out his pocket hoping it was Roxy seeing as it was his personal. But upon answering it he was disappointed to find out it was Clay's lawyer, and he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

Jax pulled up while he was on the phone so Juice rejoined the group. "Uh that was Clay's lawyer on the phone. He set up a conjugal between Clay and Gemma." Juice took in the amused but slightly horrified faces of his brothers.

"When?"

"Now. He's waiting. Said to tell Gemma to bring $500 cash."

"Ah. He's bought himself a cell." Chibs surmised.

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Means the state cannot wire a conjugal. You have to do it with your spouse. Clay needs to tell us something." Tig put together the pieces.

"Yeah? And who's gunna tell her?" Juice pointed to Gemma's approaching car.

Everyone put their hands up backing away from that bomb.

"Sounds like a job for a loving son to me." Tig answered.

"Yeah. Chibs?" Jax sighed.

"Yeah. I'll back you up." Chibs gave Juice and Tig the one finger salute as he followed Jax over to Gemma's car.

Juice and Tig laughed at Jax's misfortune and were going to head over to the clubhouse for a drink when Juice saw Roxy hop out of the passenger seat, and she didn't look happy.

Jax took Gemma aside and Juice followed Roxy as she headed to the clubhouse, head down, not looking up. She didn't even notice anyone around her so she jumped when Juice put his hand on her shoulder.

"Baby? What's wrong?" He asked softly.

Roxy looked up at him, cringing at his choice of pet name right now. He could see the glossiness to her eyes.

Roxy cleared her throat. "Nothing. Just gunna use your dorm a minute. That ok?" She managed to get out. Juice nodded dumbly and she took off, Juice following behind her like a lost puppy.

As soon as she got in his room she bolted to the bathroom and shut the door. Juice tried to open it behind her but she'd locked it. Juice sighed and rested his forehead on the door, wondering what the fuck Roxy was so upset about. He heard her sobbing quietly through the door but his questions went unanswered. Then he realised. She'd spent the day with Tara.

He groaned and slid down the door so he was in the sitting position with his back on the wood. Not realising Roxy was in the same position on the other side.

"This about Tara and Jax?" He asked softly.

Roxy nodded, but then realised he couldn't see her. "Yeah." She answered thickly.

"Babe I'm sorry. I just found out last night."

Roxy sighed. She stood up and looked at herself in the mirror. Her small amount of mascara luckily hadn't smudged, so she combed her hair with her fingers and smoothed out her flannel shirt before opening the door.

Juice almost fell backwards but quickly stood up and took her in. She had on the tight jeans he loved paired with a black tank top and blue flannel shirt buttoned to just beneath her bust. She always looked so hot like this but the dejected look in her eyes caught him off guard. He pulled her towards him and she buried her face in his chest.

"I had to get Ma to bring me back. Couldn't stay with her all day." She cuddled him tighter. After a couple more small sobs she pulled back. "I'm sorry."

"Nothin to be sorry for." He smiled and tucked some of her hair behind her ear before slowly leaning in for a kiss. "I promise you we'll have babies. We got the money, and we got the goods. It's gunna happen."

Roxy smirked at his attempt to cheer her up. "I know. Just sucks. I'm happy for them but just feel like it's never gunna happen for us. Every time my cycle is long I think I'm pregnant. Then I test and it's like a big fat slap in the face."

"You've been testing?" This was the first Juice had heard of it.

"Yeah all the time. Never tell you about it because I don't want to get your hopes up. It's just because my cycle is all fucked up."

Juice scrunched his nose, he had no idea about this shit. One of his girlfriends when he was younger had tried to tell him about it. But that was when he'd been using and she was more focused on helping him off it than helping him understand the female body.

"Hmm. You should tell me. I wanna go through it with you. No point you doing that shit alone."

Roxy smiled up at him. "Ok. Next time I promise."

"C'mon. Come have a smoke with me before I gotta go out. We can watch your Ma kill Jax. Might cheer you up some."

"Why's she killing him? What's he done now?"

"Well, Clay has organised a conjugal. Wants your Ma there and Jax is the messenger."

"Why the fuck would he want a conjugal with her? She'd never go."

"Wants to pass on a message. No surveillance in conjugals."

"Ah. Right. Ok well this'll be fun to watch."

Juice followed Roxy out but pulled her in for one more quick kiss in the hallway. "I love you. No matter what, right?"

Roxy squeezed her arm around his waist. "I know. You too."

xxx xxx

The clubhouse was packed that night. The guys still weren't a hundred percent on any potential threat the Irish still posed after they'd offed Phil and VLin. Roxy sat at the bar nursing a large vodka and Coke with Tig, Chibs, and Juice. They'd been talking privately before about some club shit and Roxy kept busy playing with Harley's hair. When the guys became free they'd separated and went to their significant others. Roxy was watching as Happy rubbed the bare skin between Harley's shirt and jeans as she talked to Rat at the other end of the bar.

"What's sheriff Remus doing here?" Tig quipped as he noticed the squad car pull into the lot.

Their eyes shot to the CCTV screens and watched as Roosevelt pulled up into one of the few empty car bays.

"Oh shit." Jax approached the group.

"I'll go see what he wants." Unser offered.

"What's the time?"

"Two minutes to eight." Juice replied.

"Alright. Let's go take this call." Jax stubbed out his smoke and Juice stood to kiss Roxy.

"Table, boys!" Chibs called to SAMCRO. The SAMTAC guys keeping an eye on everyone and the clubhouse.

Jax stopped what he was doing and grabbed the pen from the bar. Roxy watched as he turned it over in his hands.

"Hey Chucky, you know where this pen come from?"

"It's a shamrock pen. Delivery guy left it a few hours ago." He said with a smile.

"What delivery?" Jax grew serious and Roxy stood from her bar stool, sensing something wrong.

"Beer. Gemma musta ordered it." He gestured to the fresh keg he was about to hook up.

Chibs and Jax looked at each other then.

"Right o'clock." Chibs stated.

"Full table for the vote." Jax pieced it all together. He and Chibs moved to start ushering people out. "EVERYONE OUT!"

Happy grabbed Roxy and Harley and shoved them towards the door as Tig grabbed Tara and Thomas.

"Juice!" Roxy yelled but she couldn't see him through the people. He'd already gone into the chapel.

Happy shoved her and Roxy along. "Just get out!" He grunted pushed them through the door.

Harley and Roxy ran over to Gemma who was huddled against Nero who was holding her back.

"Juice!" She called again, not seeing him amongst the crowd.

She watched wide eyed as Jax and Chibs ran from the building just as the explosion boomed.

Happy shielded Harley and Roxy as they crouched from the blast. It seemed to go on forever and Roxy could still hear the ringing in her ears for the seconds after.

When they realised it was over Happy stood and let Roxy move around him to find Juice but she spotted him a few metres away handing a little girl back to one of the crow eaters. He'd obviously grabbed her and ran out.

Juice rushed over to the group and Roxy grabbed a hold of his kutte as he searched her for damage, Happy doing the same to Harley.

"Thanks brother." Juice said to Happy as the girls curled into them.

"Of course." Happy grunted.

The pairs' eyes were drawn to the fireball that was the clubhouse, watching the wreckage sprinkle down to the ground.


	83. Chapter 83

**A/N: so was rewatching season 7 today to make sure everything was on track and omg so excited for writing whats to come. I've always known how I want this to end, but a few people have suggested different things, and in light of a possible sequel, post season 7, I may change it up slightly. Let me know any ideas you have.**

 **Anyway as always thanks for reading, reviewing, favouriting, and following. I also have a tumblr sons-of-anarchy-fan where you can get in touch or have me post other tidbits or ideas you have. Also have random imagines I can write too that I don't think fit in with Juice and Roxy's relationship.**

 **And now this is the longest chapter by far, over 6000 as opposed to the usual 3500. Yay! Hope you enjoy!**

They'd all gone back to Gemma's house to stay and Juice got no sleep that night. They were two minutes away from dying. Roxy could have died last night in their fucking clubhouse because of the stupid games they were playing with the Irish. It was more dangerous trying to get the club to earn straight than it had been just doing what they were doing before. So he lay awake in Roxy's old bedroom, staring at the ceiling and thinking over every little detail in his head.

Like, what if she'd gone to the bathroom? Or what if she'd gone for a nap in his room? Or to the roof for a smoke? She'd never have got out in time.

He could feel the panic rising in his chest and he gripped the sheets in an attempt to ground himself. It worked, barely.

Roxy stirred, sensing the movement next to her and turned to face him.

"Babe? You ok?" She reached out to stroke his cheek and he flinched. His jaw was clenched and he was staring at the ceiling, still gripping onto the sheets. Roxy could see his rapid breathing in the speed his chest was moving up and down.

Roxy tried getting his attention but Juice was just running through every time he could have lost her. When he'd pushed her away before Ireland, when she'd been in the accident while he was inside, when he'd pushed her away after Kozik, when the Mayan had her outside the bar, when he'd tried to hang himself, when he'd cheated on her with Crystal, and now last night... Every minute of every day he ran the risk of losing her and it was killing him. He'd die too if he didn't have her.

Roxy shook him and he turned to stare blankly at her, he managed to make out her words and he followed he breathing pattern, slowly feeling himself release the tension and regain some control of his thoughts.

"I think you were having a panic attack baby. But you're ok now."

Juice nodded simply at her and just watched her chest as it rose and fell with her breathing.

After a while Roxy sensed that he was ok and nudged him. "You can stop staring at my tits now."

Juice gave a small chuckle. "But they're so sexy." He tried to joke with her but it didn't sound right.

"Ok baby." They lay in silence for a bit longer.

"Sorry for freaking out."

"Did you get any sleep at all?"

"Maybe an hour here and there."

Roxy nodded. She'd taken some sleeping pills but Juice refused them. Said they affected him too much the next day, but Roxy thought being tired the next day would be just as bad.

"Listen, everything is gunna be fine. Ok? You go have a shower and get dressed while I make everyone breakfast. No doubt my Ma is down there freaking out. Then you'll come down and join us and we'll see what happens the rest of the day. Ok?"

"Ok."

Roxy made herself decent by pulling on a pair of track pants over her panties and straightening Juice's top on her frame. Tying her hair in a bun she made her way downstairs to the kitchen where she was met with Chucky, frying eggs on the stove.

"Where's my Ma?"

"Gone to visit Nero at the police station." Chucky smiled.

"Right." Roxy rolled her eyes but set about helping Chucky organise breakfast.

Slowly over the next twenty minutes Happy, Harley, Rat, and Tig made an appearance at the table.

Juice arrived for his breakfast looking a hell of a lot better than he had before. He did light up a joint after he finished his meal and Roxy sat next to him, stroking his thigh, while the guys all talked.

Tara and the boys still hadn't made an appearance but Roxy made sure to save them some food for when they surfaced.

Chucky was pouring everyone more coffee when Jax arrived, looking harrowed.

"Where's Tara?" Was the first question out of Jax's mouth.

"With the boys, your old room." Happy answered. Roxy could tell his hand was on Harley's thigh and she smiled at Harley who winked back.

"You hear anything yet?"

Tig stood up. "Well, talked to Belfast. They're whole. All the other charters too."

Jax nodded. "See if they're ready?"

Chibs pulled out his burner. "Aye."

Jax made his way through to the boys and Roxy stood alongside Juice and wrapped an arm around his waist, while she listened to Chibs talking to some other charter. Juice dropped a kiss to her head and slung an arm round her shoulders.

They allowed themselves to cuddle for a moment but were interrupted by Chibs and a new call on his burner.

"Chucky? Get Jax. It's Ireland calling." Chucky nodded and Roxy took her leave, knowing that this was important and not for her ears, Harley following her lead, after Happy squeezed her ass as a parting gift.

Juice and the rest of the guys sat round the table and waited for Jax to return. Rat was ready to follow after Roxy and Harley but Jax invited him to stay.

They listened intently to the terms Gaalan laid out for them, not having any choice but to agree with them.

Once they'd wrapped that shit up it was time to hit the road. Their northern brothers were ready to meet with them. It was going to be a busy day with Rogue River, Indian Hills, Eureka, Moab, and Tacoma all converging for a meet. Big shit was about to be decided and Juice had to get his mind in the game.

xxx xxx

"Where the hell have you been all this time?" Roxy demanded of Gemma as she came through the door. She saw the look on Gemma's face and stopped in her tracks. "What happened?"

"Nothing baby. Just got caught up visiting Nero at the station."

Roxy knew that wasn't all. "No. Bullshit. Tell me." She knew the look on her face right now and her heart sunk to her stomach.

"Just the visit with your father. Didn't go to plan."

"I know. A conjugal right?" Gemma didn't respond. "He didn't, did he?" Roxy feared the worst. Her new relationship with her dad was in its infancy, and unfortunately she couldn't put it past her dad trying something like that.

"No. Well he didn't..." Roxy nodded for her to continue. "The guards. They wouldn't let me out until we did it. In front of them."

Roxy clapped a hand to her mouth and moved over to Gemma. "It's ok baby."

"And dad went through with this?" She asked incredulously.

"It was either him or the guards. Better the devil you know than the devil you don't. Right?" She sunk into the dining table chair.

"Oh Ma. I'm so sorry." Roxy wrapped her arms around her, what else would you do?

She was just glad Tara was heading to the hospital, taking Harley with her to drop off at work along the way, it gave her peace to look after her mom. Roxy had no idea how Gemma could keep doing this, keep coming back and getting on with her day after shit like this happened. It brought back memories from the night Weston and his men kidnapped Roxy and Gemma. Shivers went down Roxy's spine at the flashes of memory, she just wished now she hadn't farewelled Juice a few moments ago. She wanted nothing more than to wrap herself in his arms right now.

xxx xxx

Juice noticed the sign for Eden blurring past them as they continued on their fast track up north to their meeting. He'd calmed down slightly since his issue this morning. However after a panic attack he usually felt hyper aware of everything, his mind would hone in on one or two things and just set him on edge. So when they were pulled over by some weak ass bike cops he found himself already losing his temper.

"Welcome to paradise boys. Had a little trouble keeping up with you back there. You know it's 55 on our roads here?" The two dickheads got off their bikes and approached the group, automatically drawn to Jax when they noticed the President flash on his kutte.

"Yeah sorry about that boys. I guess we were just enjoying the scenery." Jax answered the particularly smug looking cop.

"Where you headed?" The other, taller cop asked from his place several feet away, he seemed calmer and was surveying the group from a distance rather than cockily close like his buddy.

"To Chester." Chibs answered.

"From where?"

"San Joa, Charming." Jax replied.

Mr. Smug started up again, the look on his face just pissing Juice off for no reason. "Well I don't know what the laws are in Charming, but here in Eden, wearing those gang colours, that's illegal."

"We're not a gang. We're a club." Happy butt in with the usual line.

"Rotary, Knights of Columbus, 4H. Those are clubs. Rockers and Reapers suggest something else." Mr. Calm, the other officer, piped in.

"Look we didn't mean any disrespect officer. We know you got a beautiful place." Added Tig.

"Yes we do and we intend to keep it that way." Mr. Smug again. "Let's see some ID." The guys groaned and reached for their wallets. "We had a big robbery last week. Bikes stolen off a truck headed for Butte County Harley dealer. A few Dynas. Half a dozen baggers." He collected their cards.

"None of these bikes are new." Chibs pointed out.

"Or stolen." Added Tig.

Juice had been sitting quietly, fuming up till this point. He wasn't in the mood and wanted to get going.

"No, looks like you got some recent modifications though." He pointed out Juice's bike, the parts Harley had given for his birthday for his exhaust and sound system clearly new.

"Yeah we own a garage. Do all the work ourselves." Jax defended.

"Gifts from my Old Lady." Juice ground out as Mr. Calm inspected his bike.

"Good for you. Tell you what, I'm gonna you a solid, ok? Have the bikes picked up, run serials for anything after market. Make sure no one sold you any stolen parts." Mr. Smug had their attention now.

Everyone looked to Jax. "Look you made your point man. We won't come through Eden again. But we got a family thing we really need to get to."

"I feel you pres. I do. But I got a job to do." Mr. Smug headed back to the cruiser.

But Juice just couldn't let it lie. "And what job is that?" He asked, sitting on his bike.

Mr. Smug stopped and looked him over, while the rest of his brothers shared their disbelief. Juice was usually quiet, he'd defend himself but he'd never look for a fight. However today he seemed to be in a mood.

Mr. Smug gestured to the sides of his head. "That some kinda tribal shit? You supposed to be a warrior, son?"

Juice scoffed and stood up, getting right into the officer's face. "No. I'm just a guy, who knows a coward when I see one."

Jax jumped forward now, seeing Juice was on one he had to step in. "Okay, look, I'm sorry. We're all just a little road weary. We didn't mean no disrespect."

The other officer interrupted with some instructions while Juice looked back at his brothers. Happy was smirking in encouragement but the others had tense looks on their faces.

"Call Pagone?" Mr. Smug asked the other officer.

"Yah. Flat bed is on the way."

The guys were vocal about their discontent.

"Just write us up for speeding, get your little quota." Tig shouted.

"Eden doesn't have quotas." Mr. Smug replied. "You fellas, uh, you're all about the brotherhood, right? Loyalty? That kinda shit? Good." He grabbed Juice's hand and cuffed it.

Chibs advanced on them. "What, are you serious?" Ready to intervene and help Juice.

Mr. Calm, who had been in the background till now pulled out his gun. "Hey, don't be stupid." He aimed at Chibs.

Mr. Smug cuffed Juice to his bike, by this stage he was practically vibrating with anger. No buzzing in his mind, just rage, calmly directed toward the officers.

"My partner and I gotta head out. You boys sit here and wait for impound and backup to arrive. This right here-" he held a card out to Jax, "that's where you can pick up your bikes."

"Yeah if there's anything left." Tig muttered under his breath.

"We know you wouldn't desert a brother, would you?"

Before the guys knew what was happening the officers shot out Juice's tyres, while he was standing right next to them. Juice lost it then, not only had they shot out his fucking bike, his pride and joy, but they'd come really fucking close to hitting him.

Juice's mind was clear and focussed. He swung his free arm back, elbowing Mr. Smug in the face and knocking him to the ground. Happy, who was delighted with the turn of events, slammed Mr. Calm with a right hook and took him down to stop him advancing on the group.

Meanwhile Juice was laying in to the other officer while Chibs, Tig, and Jax called for him to stop and attempted to pull him off, which was difficult as he was cuffed to his bike.

Tig grabbed the officer's gun and took aim, ready to shoot if needed while Chibs grabbed Juice in a head lock and pulled him off the floored cop.

"Jesus Christ." Chibs yelled as Jax called for him to stop.

With Juice pulled back, panting heavily in Chibs' arms, Happy was keeping the other officer at bay with the officers own weapon. Getting carried away as usual, Happy had the officer on his knees, gun to his head, as Jax tried to reign him in as well.

"Ok you better think twice about this next move. Assaulting a cop gets you killed in this town." Mr. Smug called from his spot by Juice's bike as Chibs searched him for the key to Juice's cuffs.

"And we know who you are." Happy's officer yelled.

"Yeah? And we know a scam when we see one." Jax retorted.

Chibs successfully uncuffed Juice from his bike.

"Yeah we do. I've seen Smokey and the Bandit a thousand times. Love that movie." Tig added.

"You scumbags are done. You won't make it out-" Mr. Smug attempted to say but Juice cut him off with another two right hooks before Chibs and Jax pulled him off.

"Juice enough!"

Then they heard the sirens in the distance with another cruiser on the horizon.

"We gotta go now!" Happy yelled.

"Juice, c'mon." Jax ordered, he could see Juice hesitating. He'd been weighing up whether to give the cop another few punches but then he realised more time in Stockton meant risking Roxy again and so he grabbed his helmet and took off towards one of the cops' bikes.

They weren't meant for high speed pursuits so it was cumbersome to get up and on the road to catch up to his brothers but he managed it.

As he sped to keep up with the boys he realised the bike was nowhere near as nimble as his Dyna and the cruiser was catching them up. So he swerved in front of the cruiser and pumped his brakes, forcing them to slow up and allowing the others to put distance in between them.

Juice was soon losing ground and panicking for an escape route, but when they rounded the next bend he saw Rat and the van.

Rat realised what was happening and opened the van door before speeding off after the group.

Rat pulled the van up alongside Juice and called for him to jump in. Juice weighed up his options, risk this jump, or risk years in jail for assaulting a cop, stealing the bike, evading arrest, violating his parole... The list goes on. He couldn't do that to Roxy so he took the risk and jumped into the van, kicking the bike out behind him which rammed up into the cruiser.

Juice landed on his shoulder but was alright, he and Rat celebrated the stunt with big grins and laughter. Juice hauled himself up, shut the sliding door, and jumped into the front seat, throwing his helmet into the back, he hung out the window so the rest could see he was ok. Thumping on the roof, he and Rat cheered and blasted the horn watching the guys on the bikes turning to wave at them and fist pump.

Rat turned to Juice and echoed his words from Gerber's ranch. "Respect, brother!"

xxx xxx

By the time they'd reached Three Point Lodge the adrenaline had worn off slightly. Juice did some checks along the way to ensure they were safe and so far so good.

Rat pulled the van up next to the bikes and Juice hopped down to talk to Jax.

"Talked to Barosky. No APB and no POI call. No ones looking for us." He informed Jax.

"Which means they were dirty." Added Happy, slapping Juice on the back, whole heartedly approving of his stunt.

Jax nodded and followed off behind Tig leaving Juice, Chibs, Happy, and Rat to bring up the rear.

They made their way inside for the meeting, Juice taking his place alongside Chibs at the top end of the table. He didn't believe these days that he was sitting so close to the top. When he'd first joined and was patched in he was right down the bottom, his only use being computers, but now he was trusted more and Chibs considered him his right hand man, felt he had to look after Juice. Sometimes Juice queried that maybe he was only up this end because they'd lost so many members, but then Chibs would ask him his opinion on something and it would reinforce his hard earned place at that table.

Juice watched the faces around the table as Jax laid out the move to get out of guns. Most were surprised, some in disbelief, and when he mentioned Diosa and Cara Cara and their future being in pussy there were chuckles.

Juice twirled the ring Roxy gave him around his finger, rubbing his thumb over the winged design. He was unsure what she'd think about their new earning but at least it was safer than guns. He'd yet to talk to her in great deal about it but Jax had mentioned Juice would be in charge of online services for Diosa and Cara Cara. Hopefully she wouldn't mind him reviewing and uploading porn for a living...

He was stirred from his thoughts by Chibs' hand slamming on the table, he looked around as the others started and joined in. They were obviously voicing their agreement of Jax's plan for the club. SOA was finally becoming legit, something Juice never thought when he'd first joined, but now, with Roxy, he wanted a safe life more than anything.

xxx xxx

They mingled after the meeting, catching up with their friends from other charters. Bowie wasn't there but a couple of the other Indian Hills guys were and they were ribbing him about the failed threesome at his 30th, damn Alana for going back out to Bowie afterwards. Luckily she had the sense not to give the details, but seeing as she'd left his room it was kind of obvious what went down.

Juice took it in good humour but after a bit decided he wanted to go out and call Roxy, see how she was getting on, he knew she was still shaken up after last night.

He'd almost made it down the steps when he heard Jax calling out to him.

"Hey!" Juice slowed and Jax ran the remaining few steps to sling an arm round his shoulder. "You gunna tell me what the hell that was today?"

Juice shrugged. "Was kinda just doing it before I even realised what was going on."

"You don't have anything to prove, Juice. We're good."

Juice gestured to his face, still annoyed that Jax obviously hadn't told Chibs the truth about the ratting. He wanted to see if he could trick Jax into getting to the bottom of it. "Not sure Chibs feels the same way."

"Ah, I'm guessing he'll be healed by the time your face is."

Juice shook his head slightly, of course Jax wouldn't own up to this. Before Juice could call his bluff, however, Jax's phone interrupted him.

Jax looked at the called ID before back up at Juice. "No more cowboy shit. Ok?"

Juice nodded, "sure. Ok." And let Jax go off.

Juice sighed and made his way back to the van, pulling out his personal iPhone he stared at the home screen. It was a photo of Roxy kissing his cheek, he had a big cheesy grin on his face and Roxy had her eyes closed peacefully. She'd pestered him in to taking a selfie, something which he found hilariously vain, but he'd obliged her. Then right as he'd clicked she had kissed him smack on the cheek. He smiled at the memory, that was before he'd been to Stockton, before Ireland even. Happier, simpler times. The minute she'd sent the photo from her phone to his he had set it as his lock screen. So no matter what he was doing he could look at that moment straight away.

He keyed in his unlock code, he'd forgone the four number passcode in favour of the longer letters and numbers passcode. A combination of Roxy's birthday and his along with a combination of meaningful letters, thus making it harder for people to hack into his phone. Unless another club had someone savvy like him they'd find it extraordinarily difficult to get into his personal shit.

The home screen picture was slightly different. Roxy was kneeling on his bed, midnight blue lingerie on, blowing him a kiss. She'd taken it for him and sent it to him while he was on a run. When he'd come back she had printed him a copy to keep on him too. It'd kept him company on a few occasions. Most recently while he was in Indian Hills, he kicked himself when he realised it was in his saddlebags.

He groaned as he dialled Roxy's number, she'd kill him if she found out so hopefully he'd get to his bike before any of those guys from earlier found it.

"Hey baby."

"Hey Rox."

Roxy could tell immediately that he wasn't in a good mood.

"What's happened?"

Juice smiled, hearing the worry in her voice showed him she really cared. "Nothing I can tell you on the phone. Just wanted to hear your voice."

"Mmm. What do you want to hear my voice saying?" She laughed at her own attempt to be sultry, making Juice let out a chuckle.

"Bit too public for that right now baby. Just tell me you love me."

Roxy grew serious now. She knew he needed this today, he was not in the right frame of mind. "More than anything. JC, I love you. Please look after yourself." She was worried now.

"I always do."

"No. You don't. That's why I'm worried."

Juice let out a small smile then. "I will for you."

"Ok."

"What's going on over there?"

Roxy let out a lengthy sigh. "Nothing really. Although I did go by the hospital to drop some shit off to Tara and Wendy was hanging around with Abel. I knew she'd come back to see if she could see Abel but I didn't realise her and Tara were so chummy."

Juice listened to her, not really paying attention to the words, more the cadence of her voice, it sounded so scandalous when she gossiped. "Fuck knows what they're playing at."

"I know. Look I like Wendy, and for all she's done she is a good chick, she's turned her life around and deserves a chance to know her boy. But I dunno. It all seems a bit fishy to me."

Juice chuckled. "Sure it does." He heard Bobby calling him over to the group, the rest of SAMCRO had crowded around. "Look I gotta go sweet cheeks."

"Sweet cheeks?" Roxy laughed. "What the hell Juice?"

"Just thought it sounded good." He defended.

"Whatever floats your boat buddy."

"Hey it's not my fault your ass is so sweet when I slap it."

Another laugh, it was like music to his ears, calming him down from his earlier escapades. "Ok cowboy. Just cool it."

If only she knew what 'cowboy shit', as Jax put it, he'd done today. "Love you."

Roxy grew serious again. "I love you too. Really. More than anything. Ok?"

"Ok. I'll see you tonight."

"Yes you will." She made a mwah noise into the phone and Juice hung up and wandered off towards the group.

xxx xxx

On their way back from Chester the guys pulled up to the salvage yard the Eden cops had told them to pick up their bikes from. Juice was just hoping it wasn't too late and he could get his baby back.

Jax had Happy come with him, shrugging off their kuttes, to see if they could be let in while the rest waited by the bikes.

After a moment of wrestling with the owner Jax called the guys over to come inside.

Juice brought up the rear as Chibs dragged the piece of white trash owner through the rows of dead cars towards the garage, keeping his eyes peeled for any signs of his bike along the way.

They stopped just outside the garage and Juice noticed his bike then. Heart dropping as he saw it stripped down, the guy had clearly been working on it when they'd come in.

"Hey, hey! That's my bike!" Juice stared at his most prized possession. When he'd first joined the club they told him he needed to upgrade from the piece of shit bike he'd rode in on. He'd spent every last penny on buying that bike, endless hours doing it up then he'd modified it as he made more money. His was the fastest in the club thanks to everything he'd poured into it. Before Roxy came along that bike had started relationships then ruined them, helped him pick up chicks, made him the envy of every other rider on the here it was, in pieces in this dickwad's yard. Next to the bike was his saddlebags, the contents strewn around them. Juice saw his weed bag, couple of photos, his tshirts, deodorant, phone chargers, then Roxy's panties, the ones he kept in there for a reminder of his girl on the road, hanging off the handle bars. Obviously they'd been touched by this asshole and before he knew it Juice had grabbed the guy from Chibs' grasp and slammed him into one of the wrecked cars, landing blow after blow across his face while the others yelled for him to calm down. Eventually Chibs managed to drag Juice off while Quinn grabbed the scum bag.

"That's new." Bobby commented at Juice's new fiery temper.

"Yeah." Jax agreed as Chibs pulled Juice over to calm down. "That my sister's panties?" He asked Juice with a raised eyebrow. Juice had the decency to look embarrassed as he grabbed them off the handlebars and shove them in his pocket.

"I so do not need to see that shit." He commented to Bobby. Juice rolled his shoulders and stood straight, not really giving a shit about what Jax thought right now.

"Jax! You gotta see this in the garage, man." Tig called over to the group.

"Ohhh snap." Jax said as they walked into the room. Laid out in front of them were a bunch of brand new bikes and two souped up cars.

"I checked the stickers. They're brand new. All of them were going to Bernacchi Harley in Butte County." Tig gestured.

"Wow. What do you wanna do boss?" Chibs asked.

"What you're supposed to do when you find stolen merchandise. Call the police." Jax chuckled.

xxx xxx

Juice had surveyed the bikes as they waited for the two cops from earlier, choosing one he'd like to keep and sitting on it. It wasn't something he'd usually go for but it was the most expensive of the bunch so he'd be able to make a bit of money off it when he got his back.

"Pagone?" The guys heard the cops from earlier call in from the yard.

Tig nudged Pagone. "In here." He called back before Tig started taping up his mouth.

The two got a shock when Quinn and Happy, two of the scariest motherfuckers you'd ever meet, gave them a pat down as the cops realised how deep they were.

"No need for guns boys." Jax smirked as he rolled a cigarette. We're all friends now."

"They made me call you." Pagone interjected.

"Yes we did." Added Jax. "We also took pictures of all these vehicles. Just in case we need to return them to their rightful owners."

The cops looked around, knowing they were fucked now.

"Did you know that these were the bikes you said were stolen and we found them all here? I mean, how crazy is that?" Tig said from his spot on the bench.

"What do you want?" Mr. Smug cut to the chase.

"First of all, leaving all this shit here, that's just stupid and lazy." Jax walked forward through the rows of Harleys to the two cops.

"You know, if you're gonna go outlaw, boys, use half a brain." Bobby interjected. "I mean you're making us all look bad."

They snickered.

"Which one do you want Juicy?" Chibs asked, voice gruff from the smoke in his hands.

Juice gave a last glance at the bikes around him before deciding he was happy with his choice. "This one is good." He shrugged. Still angry as hell.

"He's gunna take Liberace's bike. Don't worry. We'll change the numbers ourselves. What I need you to do is to make sure that none of the shit that happened today comes back to bite us in the ass. Or all of this goes very public." Jax waited for the men to agree. "Oh and I need you both to apologise to all my guys for your behaviour today."

Mr. Calm's eyes widened when he realised Jax wasn't joking. "You gotta be kidding me."

Jax snapped his elbow up and slammed it against Mr. Calm's head, dropping him like a sack of potatoes, before turning to Mr. Smug. "Do you think I'm kidding?"

The cops agreed to the terms and had Pagone find the keys for Juice while he picked up his saddlebags and everything missing from them.

Juice got the bike out the garage and joined the guys out at the roadside where their bikes were lined up.

True to his word Jax made the cops apologise to everyone, humiliating them in front of the bikers. Juice couldn't even look at them when they attempted to deliver his apology, turning away before they could finish. The sting of seeing his baby stripped down was too much.

xxx xxx

By the time Juice got to Gemma's it was midnight, but he'd texted Roxy to ask if she wanted to stay there the night and sleep or go back home with him. She'd opted to go home with him regardless of how late it was and having work in the morning. She wanted to be with him and he was glad.

Roxy snuck out of the house, careful not to wake her Ma and Nero. Which was silly really given that Juice's bike was right out in the drive and was louder than she'd ever be.

Juice watched the expression of surprise flash over her face at the state of his new bike. "Long story." He said as she approached, handing her the spare helmet.

Roxy squeezed him close as they rode back to their house, thankful lockdown was over for now. Roxy could feel the tension in him as she ran her hands over his stomach and thighs, her cheek pressed against his back.

As Juice got his bike in the garage the road of the louder engine reverberated from the walls, causing some of his tools to shake with the vibrations. Thankfully Juice cut the engine before Roxy was deafened.

Juice took a moment to lock up as Roxy made her way to the bedroom, she wanted to know the full story here, Juice was in a weird mood, had been since last night. She sighed and sat down on the bed, waiting for him to come in and explain himself.

Juice closed the bedroom door behind him, Roxy startling at the sound, she hadn't heard him come in.

Roxy watched him approach the bed, not taking his eyes off her. "So, you gunna tell me what-" Juice cut her off with his lips, forcing her back onto the bed with him as he lay his body over hers.

Roxy pulled him into her, wrapping her legs around his waist to keep him close and right where she wanted him. Roxy clutched at the sheets above her head as his lips moved down to her chest, pulling at the fabric of her tank top to get at her breasts before giving up and pulling it upwards over her body.

Juice was kneeling on the bed between her legs, eyes roaming Roxy's body, bare chest heaving, now he had her tank top in his hands he could see her perfect chandelier tattoo, swinging and criss crossing under the band of her bra before he quickly removed his tshirt, his kutte already hanging by the door. His eyes moved up slowly, over her crow tattoo, the symbol of why he was doing this. She was his, she wasn't going to be taken away from him, and no one else got to see her, or enjoy her, or her panties... He pushed the thoughts of that asshole playing with her panties to the back of his mind, the possessive streak fuelling his actions.

Juice bowed his head down and growled against her skin as he sucked a nipple into his mouth, Roxy's back arching underneath his touch. Roxy tried trailing her hands down to his pants but he pulled them back above her head and held them there with one of his hands locked on her wrists.

"No." Was all he said before continuing his assault on her chest, Roxy squirming beneath him, trying to get some contact where she desperately wanted it.

"Juice, baby, please."

He responded to her panting by sliding his fingers down her bare chest to her gym shorts, pushing beneath the elastic and running his fingers over her, Roxy bucking beneath his touch.

"So wet for me." He grunted into her ear.

"Only you JC. Please?" She kissed his neck, the only area she could reach. "I want to touch you."

Juice bit down to her shoulder as he kissed her neck, she gasped in pleasure underneath him and he finally let go of her hands.

Roxy watched him, admiring the feeling of his muscles under her fingers as he flexed while he continued rubbing hard circles over her sensitive spot before slipping two fingers inside her.

Roxy's leg hooked instinctively over him as she ground into his palm, her palm curling around his neck to pull him in for a kiss. Juice was rough and claiming with his lips. He was usually dominant in the bedroom, but Roxy wondered what the hell had gotten into him tonight.

"JC, I'm gunna-" she panted between kisses.

"No you're not. Not like this." He stopped immediately and Roxy whined at the loss of contact.

Juice stood from the bed and undid his belt, biceps twitching as he pulled the belt apart and unzipped his dickies. Roxy shimmied out of her shorts and panties and started to slide up the bed.

Juice grabbed her ankle to stop her moving as his boxers hit the floor. Roxy's breath hitched as she watched him stroke himself slowly.

"Hands and knees." Was his simple request. Roxy nodded and obliged, breath hitching as his free hand slid up her back, she could feel him at her entrance and let out a shiver of need.

Juice's hand wrapped round the back of her neck and pulled her up so he could speak in her ear.

"You're mine, forever babe."

Roxy gasped as he thrust into her, pushing her forwards so she fell back to her hands, his larger hands taking up residence on her waist, gripping hard as he thrust into her.

"Oh, God, Juice." Roxy moaned as he hit all the right spots, this position being her favourite.

"Fuck, Roxy, so fucking good." He moaned behind her.

Roxy fell to her elbows and gripped the sheets as her orgasm built up slowly again, sensitive from his teasing before. Juice could feel her tensing under his hands and knew what was coming. He reached his hand around to her front to help her along, teasing her just the right amount as she screamed his name into the sheets.

"That's right baby, come for me." He commanded before finding his own release seconds later, feeling every muscle in his body contract as he emptied himself inside her, head swimming with the release. He rested his head on her back as he tried regaining some control, the last of the adrenaline from the day leaving his body.

He was very aware of Roxy panting beneath him so he rolled off of her and crawled up the bed towards the head board before laying himself out, not bothering to cover up.

Roxy was spent, but in the best way possible, she lay face down into the mattress for a few moments longer as her breathing slowed. When she looked up Juice was watching her from his spot on the bed, a slow grin on his face

Roxy kissed up his thigh, barely brushing against his softening member before peppering kisses across his abs and up his chest until she reached his lips.

Moving her legs so she straddled him she took his face in her hands and kissed him slowly. "What was that about Ortiz?"

Juice ran his hands over her ass then up her back. "Told you I had a shit day."

"Mmm. Glad I made it better for you." She kissed him again, running her hand over the strip of stubble running down the middle of his head. "But spill."


	84. Chapter 84

**A/N: so close to 200 reviews now! Thanks everyone :D**

 **So im getting close to setting up my ending for season 7, anyone want to give me any opinions feel free to message me. I've had some feedback re: Tara and Jax already but would be good to hear what others think too!**

 **thanks again to Ang R and Lennon for your reviews. And to those who've favourited and followed.**

 **Hope you enjoy!**

Friday so far had been a drag for Juice. Jax had given everyone the day off while he and Chibs arranged somewhere for a new clubhouse, but Roxy was at work. So Juice had the house to himself, something most people would relish, but Juice being the way he was did not enjoy this.

By the time Roxy had called him on his lunch break he had completely cleaned the house from top to bottom, and started packing away his gym stuff from the spare room. It was his plan to start converting it to a nursery for Roxy so they could start getting serious about this baby stuff. They'd never got to do it for Gabriel so he wanted to make it special for her this time round, because the next time they had a baby, the baby was coming home.

It should have been Gabriel's first birthday tomorrow so Juice was trying to plan something special. Maybe do their fated first date. It would hopefully make this whole thing a bit happier for her, he'd already asked Happy about the tattoos and organised the designs with him. He was happy to do it, honoured they'd pick him for something so special. Kids weren't anything he had any desire to have, but what happened to Roxy and Juice was horrible and he'd help them out if that's what they wanted.

Chibs called him late in the afternoon, they'd found somewhere for the new clubhouse, Jacob Hale had given them rent on the ice cream shop in town, weird cover but it did come with a private upstairs apartment for chapel.

"So you'll be round in the morning to help us move then?"

"Uhh tomorrow shoulda been the baby's first birthday. Was kinda hoping to spend it with Roxy, she'll be pretty wrecked especially seeing as I already wasn't there last year when it all happened." Juice was finishing up some stuff in the spare room. He'd managed to move most of the gym stuff either to his computer room or the garage.

"Ah of course lad... Well this makes my next order of business worse. Jax needs you and Happy to run the Irish to Eureka fir the drop off."

"Fuck. Dude? Nothing you can do to get me out of this? Jax'll understand surely?"

"Look, hang tight boyo. I'll see what we can do."

"Ok. I'll pray for a fucking miracle."

Chibs chuckled and hung up, leaving Juice looking at the scrunched up news paper in his hand.

He'd been packing some bits into boxes using paper to pad them out. Then it caught his eye.

A very well placed ad in the paper. He stood up, grabbed his wallet and keys before shoving his kutte on and heading out to his bike.

This was gunna be perfect.

xxx xxx

Roxy said her goodbyes as everyone packed up for the day. She would be working Mondays, Tuesdays, and Fridays with Fridays being their office day. Her first office day had gone well and she'd finally met the rest of the team. It was great to be working with such a passionate bunch and she was really looking forward for what was to come.

What she was not looking forward to was tomorrow. Juice told her at lunch that everything was set up for Happy to do their tatts tomorrow, and that Juice was going to take her out somewhere. But she was dreading the reminder. Hopefully Juice's plan would take her mind off it.

When she got back to the house Juice's bike was gone and everything was locked up. He hadn't said anything about going out so she just let herself in and made her way for a shower, figuring club stuff had called him out.

When she finished her shower she changed into a pair of pyjama shorts and a sweatshirt, fully intending on a movie nigh with Juice... If he came home that is.

She reflected on the short weeks they'd been back together since Crystal.

Things had been tough, and it would take her a while to 100% trust him again, but she wanted to believe him. She did believe him, deep down, but there was always that one little voice shouting 'what if?' in the back of her mind. Like right now, with Juice not being home her mind shot out a few possible locations he could be, one of which involved someone else's bed.

Her suspiciousness went into overdrive when she opened the door from the ensuite to the bedroom only to find Juice quickly shutting his bedside drawer.

Her eyes narrowed at him for a second while she towel dried her hair.

"What are you up to?"

Juice shrugged nonchalantly. "Nothing."

Roxy hummed her disapproval. "Ok." She moved to her side of the bed and checked her phone. "So what are we doing for dinner tonight?"

"Chinese?"

"Whatever floats your boat. I just wanna curl up and watch movies."

Juice lay down next to her as she went through her Facebook, he liked being nosy about social media seeing as it was something that he'd probably never have. But after a couple of minutes he remembered his plan. He took the phone out of Roxy's hands and reached over her to place it on her bedside table before moving his hand back to cup her face.

"So, tomorrow?"

Roxy sighed deeply. "I know." She turned her head to kiss his palm before looking up at him. "What are we doing?"

"Well that's the thing. Jax needs me and Hap to drive something up to Eureka." Roxy's face dropped before he could get out the rest of the plan to her, tears gathering in her eyes.

Roxy knew there was no use fighting it, if Jax wanted them to go they'd go. Club comes first after all. But then she was angry, Jax was having yet another baby and Roxy was getting dealt the shit blow once again. "But you didn't get to be here last year. I need you this time."

"I know, that's the best bit. He's agreed to let us take you and Harley. We can have a bit of a holiday! Once we've done the drop we are yours. Gotta drive back Sunday afternoon so you can work Monday but it'll be great."

Roxy perked up a bit at that, they'd never been away together, Ireland did not count in Roxy's books, and first time in a hotel together would be pretty awesome.

"Ok, that actually sounds really good." She smiled up at him.

"Great. Well start packing!"

xxx xxx

The next morning Juice had to head round early to help move the chapel stuff over to Scoops n Sweets for church. It didn't take too long to move everything but the guys had looked around the clubhouse for a bit first, see what else was salvageable.

Juice's dorm hadn't been burnt too bad on the inside, but he doubted any of the computer shit would work again. Luckily he didn't really keep much of importance in his dorm room these days.

By the time they'd set up the chapel at Scoops it was 9am, they were finalising everything for today then they'd be off. Roxy and Harley were waiting at the rest stop in Roxy's jeep. Neither Happy nor Juice wanted them anywhere near Marks or the Irish. Just in case. So they'd follow on behind the van as they made the trip north.

First they had to vote in Quinn, Montez, and West. Juice liked Quinn, he was intimidating as fuck but he was actually a really good guy. Montez he couldn't get a good read on and West was super quiet but they seemed to have their heads on straight so Juice voted the three in. Would be good to have some fresh blood at the table.

Juice and Happy shared a look, more than ready to get on the road, but then Jax brought up Rat for patching in. Of course it was a resounding aye vote but they had their games to play with Rat before handing him his top rocker. The look on Rat's face was priceless and Juice couldn't help but laugh at his misfortune. Juice remembered getting his rocker. Probably the single scariest moment of his life. The look on Chibs' face was terrifying, he actually thought Chibs was going to kick him out. But they'd given him his patch and the ensuing party after was amazing. Thinking back to that day he realised how young he was and how crazy his life had been then, he'd gotten so drunk and high that night, he had his dick sucked by two different sweet butts before another finally took him back to his dorm. It was the first time he'd felt accepted and part of something. But he realised now, thinking f Roxy, how hollow that original feeling had been. Now he had his family, his acceptance, and he couldn't wait to get away with her tonight.

xxx xxx

"Oh my god this drive is so long!" Roxy groaned from the steering wheel. She could just see the van up ahead. They had strict instructions to follow the van from a distance and when the boys stopped in Eureka they were to head straight to the hotel. Happy and Juice didn't want to risk the Irish seeing them if they could help it.

"We've only got half an hour left Rox. Almost there!"

"Thank god! Hap's still got our tattoos to do and it's like 3:30 already! I've a hot date tonight apparently."

Harley laughed. "I'm so glad Juice is doing all this for you today."

"Me too. We don't want to dwell on Gabriel forever, but I dunno, I guess with him being inside for it all last year this is like our way to grieve together and finally move past it, you know?"

"I feel ya. Thanks for bringing me along too though." Harley lit up two smokes and passed one over to Roxy.

"Hey that was Juice and Happy's idea. I think Happy even suggested it."

Harley laughed and flicked her ash out the cracked window. "Interesting development."

"Sure is. I think he quite likes you Harley."

"What's not to like?" She giggled but then grew serious. "But you're right. It's nice to have someone. I mean it's only been a week or so but he's even offered to help me with dad's funeral. Said its because he knew him but so did Jax and he's not offering."

"Yeah but unlike Jax Happy isn't an asshole 90% of the time."

"S'pose you're right there." She nudged Roxy.

The girls passed the van just outside of Eureka as it pulled off to an access track. Juice sent Harley a message seeing as Roxy was driving telling them to stay in the hotel until they got there.

It wasn't long until the girls checked in using Juice's card. Harley dumped her bag and joined Roxy in her room. Roxy and Juice's room had a lovely view of the beach and the harbour with a tiny little balcony to sit on. It wasn't the fanciest hotel but given the boys usually either stayed in motels or clubhouses when they went on runs this was luxury. It had taken Juice half an hour to convince Happy to spend the $80 on the room, he was a notorious cheapskate but Juice informed him that Harley would probably thank him in the best way possible if he splashed out this once. Happy reluctantly agreed with the idea of a hot night as reward.

Juice and Happy arrived at the room an hour later, Happy's tattoo equipment ready to go.

"You know the placement? Still wrist?" He gruffly asked Roxy as Harley lounged on the bed watching Happy set up.

"Yup. Ready to go."

Juice watched on intently as Happy worked his magic. Once again the tattoo was exactly what they wanted, a intricate angel wing with Gabriel in neat script underneath on Roxy's right wrist. Something simple yet delicate. Roxy hadn't wanted the date of the accident on there as it was something she didn't need a reminder of, and they didn't want his birthday seeing as he'd never actually made it to his due date. So they just settled on Gabriel.

It took a little over an hour for Roxy's with Juice occasionally holding her hand. Though he wasn't sure if that was due to the pain of the tattoo or the pain of the reminder. Juice was next, lying on the bed for his with his left arm stretched out onto a table at the side of the bed. Juice was having the same thing on the inside of his bicep. It was right next to his 'luctor et emergo' script, fitting really that the translation is 'I struggle and I emerge'. They'd struggled through this loss, then the dramas with RICO, then Crystal, but they were coming out the other side stronger than ever.

As Happy buzzed away Juice thought back to that tattoo being done. It was after he'd left New York. It took him a while to get to Cali and he had an epiphany along the way. He'd been through so much shit in New York and then that door was closed for him. He couldn't go back, only forwards both figuratively and literally. So he'd struggled but emerged through the other side. He reinvented himself in Cali, put his hacker skills to good use and did some freelance work. That's how Jax eventually found him. Part of his reinvention was his head tatts and eventually the mohawk.

He was stirred from his thoughts by Roxy squeezing his other hand. She was sitting on a chair on the other side of the bed.

"Zoned out a bit there JC."

"Huh? Kinda soothing getting ink." He chuckled to hide his real train of thought.

When Happy had finished Juice's tattoo the Roxy and Juice admired each other's work. Both very pleased with the outcome.

Roxy wrapped Happy in a hug, something she hadn't ever done before. "Thanks Hap. For doing this. You didn't have to."

"Course I did. Better than some jackass doin it and stuffing it up." He gave her a small smile as they broke apart.

Harley took Roxy's hand, carefully inspecting the new ink. "It's so beautiful Happy." She murmured as she looked over the brushing on the feathers.

"Maybe you'll let me ink you tonight. Take your ink virginity?" He winked at her.

Harley gave a laugh. "Maybe hotshot. But let's leave these two to it. We got our own room to hang in." She grabbed Happy's hand and pulled him along as he gathered his stuff. Happy shot Juice a wink as he shut the door behind him, leaving the two up to whatever Juice had in mind.

xxx xxx

Juice left his kutte with Happy before coming back to the room to grab Roxy. He had on nice dark wash jeans and a black button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Wearing his kutte out, by himself, in a different town probably wasn't a good idea. Especially not for what he had in mind tonight.

Roxy was finishing her mascara when Juice came back to the room, she had on black skinny jeans, black flats and a flowing red button up blouse, the silk fabric skimming her thighs, it was simple but sexy and Juice enjoyed the view as he looked her up and down.

"You ready?" He asked as he rubbed his hands up and down her sides, pressing his chest against her back so he could kiss her neck.

"Yup." Roxy smiled as she capped her mascara and turned around to face him. "Where are we off to Romeo?"

"Scoped it out online, there's a nice pizza joint down by the beach, thought we might get some takeaway and sit on the beach."

"Mmm. Very romantic, biker watching the sunset." Roxy smirked.

"Shut up, I can be romantic."

"Ok hotshot. Let's go then."

Juice patted his pockets, making sure he had everything one last time.

xxx xxx

Juice ordered their food then sat outside with Roxy while they both had a smoke and waited. It was a warm evening and the sun was a little while away from setting. Juice had a blanket in his backpack and some champagne to drink later. Roxy looked over at her jeep and smiled.

"Good car you got me there."

Juice nudged her with his elbow. "Only the best for my Old Lady." He smirked.

Roxy was about to retort when their pizza was called. Juice grabbed it while Roxy hopped up into the passenger seat.

"Where to now?" She asked when Juice started the engine.

"You'll see."

Roxy rose her eyebrow but didn't comment, he was taking this whole romance bit too seriously. It was sweet though, but she didn't care what they did just that they did it together.

Juice drove down the sea front road for a few minutes before pulling up in a car park above the beach. It was very peaceful and there weren't too many other people around, promising them some privacy. They hopped out the car, gathering their bits and made their way down onto the sand. Juice picked a good spot facing the ocean and set out his blanket before putting their food down onto it. Roxy followed his lead and sat next to him resting he head on his shoulder for a moment.

"Thanks for today baby. This was such a good idea."

Juice smiled and reached his hand over to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. "Like I said. Only the best for you." He leaned in to catch her lips in a sweet kiss. "I know it's not exactly fancy, there's not really any 5 star restaurants here in Eureka, but everything just fit into place."

"J, I've done the whole 5 star, pretentious jackass thing with Matt. It didn't make me happy. You do." She kissed his cheek. "So let's eat."

They are happily, joking and teasing each other from time to time, but enjoying each other's company as the sun began to set.

"Y'know, thinking about everything that's happened in the last two years is insane. Like I said before with the whole Matt thing. I'd agreed to spend my life with him, thinking I was happy and would fit in with that whole upper east side life. But now I find myself on a beach in the middle of nowhere with you. You're the complete opposite of Matt in every way, and it's so good. I actually can't imagine being happier than when I'm with you."

Juice smiled softly before fumbling in his pocket. "I'm actually so glad you said that because..." He pulled a small blue box from his pocket and Roxy eyed him suspiciously, "I know I've fucked this up before, but I love you, you're it for me babe. I don't wanna fuck us up again, I just want you. Forever."

Roxy's heart started beating like crazy at his words, wondering if her intuition was right.

And it was.

Juice snapped open the small box, revealing the ring inside. "Will you marry me?"

Roxy clapped a hand over her chest as she looked at the ring, then Juice, then the ring again. "Really?"

"Yes, really." He gestured to the ring in his hand.

"Of course I will Juan!" She pulled him into a hug with her arms wrapped around her neck before pulling back and covering his face in kisses. "I love you! So much!"

Juice playfully pushed her off him and rubbed his face down as Roxy excitedly looked down at the ring. She was surprised he had picked something so intricate. It was a marquise shaped diamond with little tiny sapphires in a halo around it. The band was white gold and had little tiny diamonds set in the band halfway round.

"This is stunning JC. Who helped you pick this?" She asked as he took it out of the box.

"No one. I saw it and thought it looked good and that you'd like it. You do like it right?" He hovered the ring over her finger, panic in his eyes as he waited for her response.

"Yes. I love it." She smiled genuinely at him and he took that as the go ahead for sliding the ring down her finger. Luckily he'd managed to steal a ring out her jewellery box earlier and knew this one would fit. Apparently Roxy had standard sized fingers.

Roxy wiggled her fingers in the dwindling light, watching the sparkle on her finger as Juice watched the sparkle in her eyes.

Eventually she managed to tear her eyes away from her new accessory long enough to turn to Juice sitting next to her. His gaze flicked to her lips then back to her eyes before catching her lips in a kiss.

It started off slow and loving, but soon became more and more heated until he was pushing her back on the blanket.

Juice slid his leg in between Roxy's ran his hand up to her chest as Roxy pulled back from the kiss. "J! People could see us."

Juice chuckled before looking around, it was almost dark now and the beach had cleared out a while ago. "No one here but me n you baby."

Roxy gave a quick look about and he was right. Plus in the light no one would see them. Juice took that as a yes and went back to kissing down her neck and unbuttoning her shirt.

But she pushed him off again and used one of her hands to pull his head to look at her. "Anyone comes round here Ortiz and you stop and cover me with this blanket, ok?"

Juice nuzzled her nose with his. "Of course. No one else gets to see this." He chuckled down at her and started kissing her again.

Roxy stroked the point of his mohawk with her fingertips as she trailed her other hand down back. Juice managed to unbutton the first few buttons of her top, enough to nuzzle and kiss in between her breasts. He pulled the cups slightly to the side so he could suck her nipples while Roxy slid her legs around his. Juice ground his hips into hers, and Roxy could feel the hardening bulge through their jeans. Before long Juice gave up on her breasts and snakes his hand down to her jeans, unbuttoning and unzipping them enough to slide his hand under her panties. Juice teased her for a few minutes before slipping a finger inside her, drawing a gasp from Roxy as she bucked into his hand.

"I love you." Roxy panted out between kisses.

"Love you too." Juice whispered before slipping his hand from her panties and kneeling up to unbuckle his pants.

Roxy followed him up and looked around the beach. It was fairly secluded and she couldn't see anyone else so she threw caution to the wind. She'd never felt safer than when she was with Juice so she knew no matter what he'd look out for her. There were two bulges in his pants after all, one being his gun.

Roxy pulled him in for a kiss as he unbuckled his pants, he was trying to push her back down but she pushed him back stronger. Juice took the hint and lay back on his blanket. Roxy admired his caramel skin glowing in the moonlight, eyes sparkling with the mischief of what they were doing. Roxy straddled his hips and bent down to kiss over her name, inked into his skin. Juice let out a deep sigh as she pushed his shirt up so she could kiss down his chest, trailing her tongue over his abs before stopping at his unbuckled pants. She pulled them open slightly and slipped him out, hard and desperate for attention.

Roxy stroked him slowly with her hand before wrapping her lips around him. Juice, arms outstretched, gripped at the sand beside him, the feeling of Roxy's warm mouth too much in this sensitive moment. He looked to his left and saw the moonlight bouncing off the water before looking back down at Roxy. She was always sexy but he loved nothing more than watching her going down on him, she was shy and always slightly nervous no matter how many times he told her she was amazing at this. After a few more minutes Juice had to pull her up, not wanting to spoil the moment by blowing his load prematurely.

Roxy made her way back to his lips and he slid his tongue in her mouth, tasting himself slightly on her lips. Roxy ground down against him so he rolled her over and hovered over her. He sat up enough to slide her jeans and panties off, kissing his way back up.

Roxy smiled up at him and stroked her thumb over his lips, Juice kissed it before sliding into her in one long thrust. Roxy moaned at the feeling of fullness and grasped his shoulders.

They took things slow and steady, filled with passionate kisses and touching, this time being more about the love and connection than sexual pleasure.

Eventually Juice rolled off of Roxy and pulled her into his side as their breathing slowed, Juice holding her hand and admiring her new tattoo once again. Roxy held up her other hand and watched as her new ring sparkled in the light, letting out a contented sigh.

A few more minutes in silence and Juice sat up abruptly to rummage in his bag.

"What's wrong?" Roxy asked as she pulled her pants back on, lifting her bum off the blanket to shimmy her tight jeans back up.

"I brought something for us to drink and celebrate." He pulled the champagne and two plastic glasses from the backpack and handed the glasses to Roxy.

Juice hadn't ever had champagne before but he'd seen people do this on tv, so he shook the bottle before twisting the metal casing off the cork.

"This is gunna spray everywhere baby." Roxy warned.

"Doesn't matter. Probably only time I'll get to do this." He grinned and aimed the bottle towards the water and edged the cork out until it popped and shot off towards the sea.

Roxy gasped as the foam spurted from the bottle and covered Juice's arms, laughing at his expression before he turned the bottle towards her and she caught the last of the spray.

"You're a jackass." She threw the plastic glasses at him and attempted to shake off the alcohol dripping down her top.

"Yeah but you love it." Juice propped the two glasses up and filled them with some of the remaining champagne before shoving the bottle into the sand to keep it up.

"Cheers." He passed Roxy a glass and knocked it with his own.

They each took a sip, Roxy savouring the bubbles and the sharp taste of the wine. With Matt she had done many a wine tasting and drank bottles of wine and bubbly. She could appreciate the flavours and knew this bottle cost quite a lot. Juice on the other hand was scrunching his face at the taste and looking at the bottle, questioning if it was supposed to taste like this.

"Is it supposed to taste like this? Or did I pick an off bottle?" He gestured towards the label.

Roxy laughed. "No baby. It's perfect. It's supposed to taste like this. It's actually quite a good bottle."

Juice shrugged his shoulders and knocked back the rest of his glass as Roxy sipped on hers. Juice had only ever had wine once or twice, not liking the taste, and had never tried champagne. He'd only chosen this bottle based on the price. He assumed expensive meant good and was glad he wasn't wrong.

Before long they'd finished what was left of the bottle, after the foam had sprayed everywhere, and Juice pulled Roxy in for a kiss again. She tasted like champagne and he soon found himself following the champagney trails that ran down her chest.

xxx xxx

"Suppose I should call my Ma. She'll go nuts with the wedding. I'll just prepare you now." Roxy and Juice had packed everything up and sat back in the car after fooling around some more.

Juice smiled. "It's gunna be fun babe. We can plan whatever wedding you want. Or whatever wedding Gemma comes up with."

Roxy waited for her mum to answer while staring at her ring again, wiggling her finger to catch the light again. Roxy redialled, Gemma hasn't answered so she'd try again in case she was driving or something.

"No answer?" Juice looked over at Roxy.

"Nah. I'll send her a message to call me back."

"Try Jax?"

Roxy nodded and dialled him but he wasn't answering either. Juice messaged Jax's current burner to call him when they got the chance.

"Weird. Probably busy at Scoops or something. We can tell em tomorrow. It's getting late now anyways."

Roxy looked a bit disheartened and it broke Juice's heart. He knew she wanted to share this with her family. Finally she had something to celebrate with them, instead of heartache. But no one wanted to listen. "Babe.."

"It's ok. We'll go back and I'll text Harley. See what her and Happy are doing."

"Ok."

Turns out they were down in the bar in the hotel lobby so Juice started making his way back there.

Happy knew Juice was proposing, he was sick of hearing about it after their 5 hour ride up here. Juice told Harley about it when he went to give Happy his kutte, unable to keep it in any longer and wanting someone close to Roxy's approval. Harley gave it, of course, but with a strong warning that if he cheated again his balls would be off before he could say 'I'm sorry'.

They were waiting for Roxy and Juice, drinks at the ready to toast, when Happy got a call from Chibs. One he did not want to have received, Harley was looking on curiously.

"What was that all about?" She eyed him, curious as to whether he'd tell her club shit or not.

Happy surprised her by being forthcoming with the information. It wasn't anything pertinent to club business as such but he knew Harley would never rat. "Uhh Gemma attacked Tara. She lost the baby."

Harley groaned. "Holy shit."

"Yeah. We gotta go home first thing."

"Oh dude. You can't tell them now."

"Why not?"

Harley stared at him. "Uhh you do remember why you tatted them today? And perhaps because it'd be nice they got to celebrate for one night before shit hit the fan. No ones gunna celebrate when they get home. We gotta do it tonight."

Happy took in the earnest look on Harley's face. She was right. "Ok. But I'll tell Juice before we go to bed. He needs to know we gotta go."

"Fine. I'll distract Roxy."

They came to an agreement just in time for Roxy and Juice to enter the bar. Harley's stomach was twisting, preparing to be happy for her but knowing that this would all be short lived.

"Sooo, how was the date?" Harley asked as they sat down.

Roxy's face cracked in to the biggest grin as Happy offered Juice his kutte. Before Juice even had the chance to put his kutte on Roxy shoved her hand into Harley's face and squealed.

Harley pulled her in for a hug giving congratulations as Happy clapped Juice on the back. As soon as the girls had calmed down they walked out to a table outside. Happy offered Juice a cigar, having bought some from the bar in preparation, while Harley grabbed Roxy's hand to check out the ring.

"Holy shit Juicy Boy, you done good!" Harley approved.

Juice looked down shyly, glad he'd done the right thing for once. Roxy let a couple of tears escape as Harley continued to congratulate the pair.

"What's wrong?" Juice asked as he blew out a puff of smoke. He was standing over by Happy as the girls carried on at the table.

"Nothing baby. I'm just so happy." She smiled at Juice who winked back.

"Time for our drinks!" Harley pushed forward the tray of shots they had ordered earlier, handing everyone a tequila. "Congratulations!" She toasted, everyone chinked their glasses and slammed back their shots.

xxx xxx

The girls had maybe a little too much fun celebrating and the boys were currently following them down the hall to their rooms.

Harley pushed Roxy into her and Juice's room so that Happy could have a quick chat.

"Look we'll leave you to it, but uh, we gotta head back first thing."

"Oh man, that's probably not a good idea with them in that state. They'll be hungover as fuck in the morning. Thought Jax said we had all day?"

Happy sighed, roughly rubbing a hand over his stubbly head. "Chibs called me before. Shit has gone down, man. Gemma attacked Tara at the hospital. She lost the baby."

Juice leant back against the wall, chin dropping to his chest as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Fuck."

"Yeah, fuck. So we gotta get back there."

Juice sighed. "This is gunna fuck Roxy up. She just wants Gemma and Jax to be happy for us."

Happy shrugged, he wasn't looking for a deep conversation here. "I'm sure dude. But shit happens and we gotta be there."

Juice looked up at him, knowing how uncomfortable Happy is in situations like this. "Yeah. Ok. Wanna take Harley in the van? I'll drive Roxy in the jeep? I'll needa prepare her."

Happy nodded. "Yeah, safer that way anyway."

"Alright. Well thanks for giving me the heads up and not telling Roxy. Let's her enjoy this night first."

"Sure dude. I'll go get my chick and we'll leave you to it." He winked and moved past Juice to drag Harley away from Roxy.

"Good night bride!" Harley called as Happy pulled her out the room.

"Sweet dreams maid of honour!" Roxy yelled back.

"Alright baby, time for you to sleep this off." Juice took Roxy's shoes off for her as she sprawled over the bed. "Gunna need it to face tomorrow." He sighed under his breath.


	85. Chapter 85

**A/N: you guys rock Ang R and Lennon! 201 reviews. Yeah!**

 **So excited, keeps me going knowing you guys like it!**

"Baby, time to wake up." Juice gently shook Roxy awake.

Grumbling, Roxy reluctantly opened her eyes and moved the comforter off her. "Why? What's the time?" She rubbed her face.

"Uh it's 5:30am."

"What the fuck J! Whyyyy?" Roxy groaned and rolled back into the bed. They'd only came back to their room at 1am.

"We gotta get back. You can sleep in the car baby. I'll take one of these pillows with us. Pay for it on the way out. I've packed your stuff."

Roxy turned over and glared at him, but stopped when she saw the tired look in his eyes.

"Fine. At least we got the night hey? Pity we didn't get hotel sex though." She rolled out of bed and stood to kiss him briefly.

"Yeah but sex on the beach beats that hands down." He patted her ass as she moved to her suitcase. Juice had laid her track pants and a tshirt out for her, along with clean underwear. She smiled as she picked up the items and moved to the bathroom to get ready.

Roxy and Juice met Happy and Harley down in the lobby. The guys moved to settle the rooms, Juice gesturing to the concierge towards the pillow in Roxy's arms.

Roxy pulled Harley's shirt aside at the neck before raising her eyebrows. "Marks of a killer huh?"

Harley covered the love bites with her own hand. "Yeah. Sure." She smirked.

"Have a good time here?"

"Yeah it's been fun."

"Things with Happy?"

"Really good. He's um, designed a tattoo for me."

"Oh my god. You're getting a tattoo?!" Harley had never wanted ink before but obviously Happy's influence had changed that.

Harley had a soft smile on her face. "Mom and dad's names. Really looks good. Just gotta work up the courage to do it."

"Hap is actually real gentle Harley. No where near as rough as the dude who did my chandelier. Which is such a contrast when you think about it."

The boys rejoined the girls and grabbed their bags. "Let's hit it." Hap nudged Harley towards the door.

The cars were parked across the street and before they parted ways Harley pulled Roxy into a big hug, Juice and Happy sharing a meaningful look.

"What's that for?" Roxy questioned Harley as they embraced.

"Nothing. Just super happy for you." She gave Roxy a smile, attempting to comfort her friend before she found out the bad news. Roxy nodded, confused but hopped into the passenger side of her Jeep as Happy moved off to the van.

Harley gave Juice a squeeze on his arm before following Happy to the club van.

"Ready to go?" Juice questioned as he started the car.

"Ready for sleep." Roxy mumbled as she reclined her seat and pushed her pillow against the window.

Juice smiled down at her. "Ok babe. Well we are gunna stop for breakfast in Redwood Valley so you got 2 and a half hours to snooze."

"So long as you're gunna be ok driving." She looked up as they pulled onto the road behind the van, taking in the sunrise.

"I'll be fine babe." He reached over and squeezed her hand.

Roxy faintly heard him singing along to some songs as they drove but didn't wake properly until they pulled off the highway into a fuel stop and diner.

Roxy rubbed her eyes and pulled her seat up as Juice parked the Jeep.

"Good rest?"

"Yeah, get me some coffee and I'll feel human again."

Juice cracked his back and stretched as they walked over to the diner, meeting Happy and Harley at the door.

"I can drive on the way back if you want." Roxy offered as Juice wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

"Nah it's ok babe. Done longer drives than this on a bike."

Happy kept a hand on Harley's back as they walked past some truckers on their way to their booth, as if any of them would mess with two men in MC leathers. But Roxy found it sweet, not that she'd tell Happy that.

The boys let the girls into the booth first and they say at the window looking out to the highway and the trees beyond.

After breakfast the boys fuelled the cars while Roxy and Harley stocked up on some drinks for the last part of the trip.

"Haven't told her yet? Running out of time bro." Happy said out to Juice as he filled on the pump next to him.

"I know, man. She slept most of the way here but judging by the red bull in her hand over there I'm not gunna get out of it now."

Happy smirked as Harley came back with a red bull for him too.

"Wait here." Happy commanded them as he and Juice left to pay for the fuel.

The girls nodded and rolled their eyes as the guys kept their eyes on them the whole time they paid but soon enough they were back on the highway.

Juice had his arm resting on the window as Roxy fiddled with her music, eventually settling on a playlist on her phone. He happily watched on as she sang along to a few different songs, she was in such a happy mood he didn't want to wreck it. He'd catch her from time to time staring at her ring again and it warmed him to know he'd got it so right.

For the first time in his life he felt truly, truly happy. He was on his way to having everything he'd ever wanted. Just one more hurdle to overcome with this Tara and Gemma business.

"Oh I fucking love this song." Roxy yelled, breaking him from his thoughts.

He laughed as she sung along to the verse, window open, blowing her ponytail out behind her. When it came to the chorus she turned it way up, grinning at the look on his face.

"And through it aaaaaaaaaaaall she offered me protection, a lotta love and affection, whether I'm right or wrong. And down the waterfaaaaaaaaaaall wherever it may take me, I know that life won't break me, when I come to call, she won't forsake me, I'm loving angels instead."

"Who sings this song?" Juice questioned as he turned it down a bit.

"Robbie Williams." Roxy smirked.

"Let's keep it that way." Juice smirked back as Roxy punched him playfully.

They continued listening as they drove, Roxy singing along, though quieter now she'd had her fun. Juice couldn't help but like the song, it reminded him of his relationship with Roxy and it made him smile she'd stuck with him through everything. Most women would balk at a jail sentence but she took it in her stride. Never mind everything that came after, yet here she was agreeing to be his wife! He decided then that the song would be their first dance. The guys might rib him for it but he didn't give a shit.

The closer they grew to Charming the more the knot twisted in his stomach, his nerves clear to Roxy. "You that scared about telling my Ma?" She commented on his nerves.

Juice cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Uh, nah. There's uh, something I need to tell you about why we're coming back."

"It's not my dad is it?" Roxy asked, panic rising in her chest as images of him stabbed in a prison yard flashed through her mind.

"No. Not that. Uhm, last night Chibs called Happy, said that your Ma attacked Tara and she uhm, she lost the baby. Your Ma was arrested."

Roxy chocked on her sip of red bull. "No way." Tears brimmed in her eyes. "There's no way Ma would do that J. Not after everything with us."

"That's what we've been told happened. Jax needs us at Scoops soon as we're back."

Roxy let the tears fall freely as Juice knew they would. "Why would she do that? What did Tara do to her? I don't believe it." She sobbed, running her finger over the bandage covering the tattoo on her wrist, forgetting all the excitement from the night before.

"I don't know babe. I'm sorry to tell you like this, just didn't want to spoil last night and I'm running out of time before we get there." He grabbed her hand and stroked his thumb over her skin, rubbing the engagement ring he'd given her just twelve or so hours before.

Roxy sighed and reclined her seat again. "This is bullshit. Take me to the station when you get there."

"Sure."

Juice spent the rest of the drive in quiet contemplation, he heard Roxy sniffling from time to time but every time he looked at her she seemed to be asleep. It reminded him of the trip when he picked her up from that guy's house when she'd been drugged. It was before they'd started dating but he knew then how much he cared about her, he'd been so angry to see someone hurt her like that and he'd said stuff he'd regretted later. His mouth always ran away with him and he could never help it. Now he didn't have any words to say, but that was probably a good thing, he didn't want Roxy to know how cut up he as too watching his family fall apart at the seams.

xxx xxx

They'd spent the last hour of the journey in silence, Roxy contemplating what in the hell could possibly have happened to make her mum do something like that. It just didn't add up in her mind.

Gemma was the most family oriented person she'd ever met. To the point of crazy. So why would she ever hurt her unborn grand baby?

Sure things with Tara had been tense recently and there was shady shit going on with Wendy being back on the scene but that wouldn't drive her mum to attack Tara, would it?

Juice pulled up at the station and made to get out the car. "Nah you go to Scoops baby. I'll meet you there later. No idea how long I'll be."

Harley had texted Roxy a good luck message but she was being dropped off by Happy so she didn't come with.

Roxy kissed Juice goodbye and made her way in to see Roosevelt.

"I need to speak to Gemma Teller-Morrow." She told the desk sergeant.

"Let me just ask the lieutenant." She disappeared and came back with Roosevelt a few moments later.

"Ms. Morrow, how are you?"

"How do you think?" She cocked an eyebrow.

"Right. Look you got five minutes with your Ma. I trust you'll let me know anything that could help us get to the bottom of this shit storm."

Roxy just nodded and followed suit, not intending on actually cooperating with him beyond seeing her Ma.

Gemma was lying back on the bench in the holding cell, breathing deeply. Roxy turned to Roosevelt. "How long has she been here?"

"Since last night. Waiting on charges to be filed before she's released or transferred."

Roxy folded her arms across her chest as Gemma looked up to see who was interrupting her nap.

"You morons made sure she's had access her Meds?"

Roosevelt looked back at Eglee who'd been looking after Gemma. "Yeah of course Rox."

Roxy nodded, Eglee was alright, they'd gone to school together and had always got along. She helped the club when she could so Roxy trusted her.

"I'm good baby." Gemma commented.

"Five minutes." Roosevelt warned before closing the door.

Roxy turned back to her Ma who was sitting up now. "What the fuck happened? This true?"

Gemma scoffed and made room for Roxy on the bench. "Of course not. Tara, Wendy, and that ginger gash from the hospital are up to something. Tara made some will for the administrator to be the boys' guardian of something happened to her and Jax. Wants them away from the family. They baited me at the hospital and I stupidly followed Tara to her office. Crazy bitch slammed herself against the desk and claimed I kicked her." She looked into her daughter's eyes. "You know I'd never do I that, right?"

Roxy reached out and squeezed her Ma's hands. "Yeah. I do. Why's Tara doing this though?"

"I dunno baby. Wish I did. Something big is going on." She rubbed Roxy's hands with her thumbs then looked down.

Gemma yanked Roxy's hand up to inspect the ring on her hand. "This the idiot?"

Roxy rolled her eyes. "Nah Chibs. Thought I'd go something a bit more aged."

Gemma cracked a grin. "Oh baby I'm so happy for you. God knows this family needs some happy news right now." She pulled Roxy in for a hug.

"I was trying to call you last night to let you know. Couldn't get through. Juice told me this morning what happened. He, Hap, and Harley didn't want to ruin the night."

Gemma admired the ring. "Glad they didn't. Not much you coulda done anyway. God he did a good job on the ring. Who helped him pick this out?"

"Reckons he did it himself."

Gemma scoffed. "No way. But congratulations baby."

They both looked over as the door opened. "Times up."

Roxy rolled her eyes and gave her Ma one last squeeze. "I'll see you later. We'll figure this shit out."

"Ok baby. Don't worry about me. And tell Juicy Boy he got my tick of approval."

Roxy made her way to the door. "I'm sure he'll relax when I tell him that." She smiled her goodbye.

"Are congratulations in order?" Roosevelt questioned as he escorted her out, noting the sparkle on her finger.

Roxy tensed but nodded. "Guess so."

"I know you probably don't care what I think any more. But congratulations. I'm sorry about how everything went down before."

Roxy nodded solemnly. "I'm sure you are."

Roxy left him at the door, sparked up a smoke and started her walk to Scoops.

xxx xxx

Juice couldn't believe what he was hearing. They had church as soon as he got back. Turns out the media got a hold of information regarding the Sons and the Byzlats. They were front page as having sold the gun that the Jennings boy used in the school shooting.

The club was in damage control mode and they had their orders. But first they had to deal with other pressing business.

"We got interviews with the Cara Cara girls." Jax stated.

"Oh I can handle that." Bobby offered. Everyone giving him dirty looks, all wanting that job. "What? I'm manager of operations."

"You totally just made that up." Juice stated.

"They won't know that."

Jax nodded and turned to Juice. "How'd it go with Connor?" Happy was still tying up the job so he was left to field the questions, after forgetting the whole point of the trip to begin with.

"Ok. Kings are keeping him stateside. Want us to start tying down our buyers for Clay. What Hap's doing. Connor knows he's alive because of us, Jax. We talked a lot on the way up. He's... He's a decent guy. I think he'll be on board when we make the shift."

Jax and Chibs shared a look at Juice's word before Jax turned back to Juice. "Good." He made thanks to the group for their concern over Tara before sending them off for their jobs for the day.

xxx xxx

The guys rode out to their meet, Juice enjoying the chance to think. He felt like shit for some reason, he had so much to celebrate right now but he didn't feel like he could. Jax's family was in tatters, but the only thing was it was Juice's family too now. Family he couldn't share this with, not that Jax cared. He could tell Jax was still keeping him at arms length, probably to do with the whole Darvany thing.

"Juicy, let's take a walk. C'mon." Tig called after they'd parked their bikes, leaving Jax, Chibs, and Quinn to talk to Fiasco.

Juice and Tig scoped out the place, spotting a car further up the road.

"Hey, we got something, middle of the block. One deep. Brown. Idling. Just sitting there, staring at us."

"A cop?" Jax called over.

"Gotta be." Juice replied. "By the looks of the ride it's probably vice."

The guys returned to their discussion and Juice and Tig returned to their surveillance.

"He's rolling this way." Tig called out.

Juice turned back to look at the guys, wondering what Jax would say when he found out about him and Roxy. Still lost in his thoughts he wasn't really on top of his game. He was tired which didn't help with keeping focused and keeping his mind ordered.

The squealing of tyres and Tig's yells snapped him out of his thoughts and he turned around, not really comprehending the fact a car was gunning for him at high speed, in the split second it took for him to realise what was happening the car swerved, narrowly missing him but continued down the road to mow down Gomes.

The guys all ran to see what happened but soon realised Gomes was dead.

"Find something to wrap the body." Jax ordered Tig.

"Juice, Juice, come on." Tig pulled him away to help look as Fiasco called out to Gomes.

Juice and Tig returned quickly with a big, old blanket. The guys helped Fiasco load Gomes into their lowrider and, under Jax's orders showed him to Dubrowski's funeral home to see Skeeter.

Juice's heart was hammering on the ride over, he coulda died just now because he was so wrapped up in his mind. His OCD and anxiety was starting to get out of control. Simple little things were setting his mind off racing and, although his compulsions weren't rampant they were still controlling. Tiny little things like making sure he breathed in and out evenly, touched his throttle the right way, stayed in the right exact track on the road, everything. He just couldn't escape those little thoughts and it was driving him mad. But if he didn't do them it would be like jinxing himself and something bad would happen.

They pulled up at Dubrowski's and Tig went to find Skeeter while Juice waited with the Byzlats. Skeeter had them pull round back so he could quietly load them through straight into the incinerator.

Juice and Tig left the Byzlats to it while they sat on the wall by their bikes and had a smoke.

"What was that today?" Tig asked.

"What was what?"

"You staring down that fucking car? Shit was crazy man." Tig exhaled a long stream of smoke.

"I dunno bro. I just froze. Couldn't think quick enough to move."

"Well sort that shit. Roxy don't need this on top of everything else. Her family is fucking falling apart here man. Shit with Gemma? That's gunna fuck her up. You needa be there."

"I know dude." He sighed lengthily. "You know I proposed to her last night?" Juice ashed his smoke and watched the little pieces fall to the ground.

"Oh dude." Tig commiserated. "She said no?"

Juice snapped his eyes up to him. "Fuck off. She said yes." He smirked. "We got our tatts for the baby then I took her down the beach and she said yes, jackass." He smiled.

"Then why so glum?"

"Well it shoulda been the baby's first birthday yesterday. So I tried to make it happy n shit. Then Happy tells me what happened last night and I gotta drag her ass outta bed early this morning, cut the trip short, tell her her Ma's been arrested for causing the miscarriage of her brother's kid all the day after that anniversary. She's devastated man."

"Oh, I'm sorry bro." Tig clapped Juice on the shoulder. "I know you are too man. Shit like this? It'll fuck you up if you let it, but you gotta stay strong for her bro. This'll all pass and then you and her'll have a litter of little brown babies." Tig joked and Juice grinned, chuckling slightly. "Listen, that kid is like a daughter to me. Sometimes more than my own were. She deserves to be happy, and you make her happy. So just do that. Forget about all this crazy shit. She don't need to lose you on a job because you're so wrapped up in your head. Yeah?"

Juice nodded. If only it was that easy.

"Yeah. Just wanna give her the celebration she deserves. But shitty timing for us as usual."

"Don't worry bro. I got this. You just tell Jax though."

Juice nodded again, happy to have Tig around on his side of things.

xxx xxx

Roxy had made her way down to Scoops after visiting her Ma. It was a half hour walk from the station but she didn't care, it gave her time to sort through her thoughts.

She didn't believe for a second that her Ma could do something as horrific as that, but then she also didn't believe Tara would cause her own miscarriage to set up her Ma. So it left one option. Tara was lying about the pregnancy.

The fact that she could do that to start with hurt Roxy. But following through with this drama on the day of Gabriel's first birthday really just killed her. What the fuck was she playing at?

By the time she arrived at Scoops n Sweets she was very angry. It didn't help matters that when she arrived the ice cream parlour was filled with porn stars. Roxy was very aware of her current attire, sweat pants, a tshirt and a jumper. She self consciously made her way to the bench and hooped up on a bar stool, Rat dragging his eyes away from a busty blonde just long enough to say hello.

"What's going on here?" Roxy asked as she placed her purse on the sweets bar top.

Rat smirked. "Interviews for Cara Cara."

"Huh. I see." Rox thought Harley would be involved in this but didn't really care to know what was happening right now.

"Where are the guys?"

"Out." He turned back to the girls.

Roxy rolled her eyes and flicked open her phone.

She was stirred from her study of Facebook when Tara and Bobby entered through the back kitchen. She felt like snapping her phone then and there. But she knew she had to keep herself in check.

Tara made her way over to Roxy and she had to force herself to be sympathetic.

"I'm so sorry Tara." There was no point calling her out when she had no evidence. All it would do is put Jax on edge and place Roxy on the outskirts with her Ma. Not something Juice needed right now.

Tara guiltily wrapped Roxy in a hug. "Me too, Rox." She found out this morning, from Unser, what day it was yesterday for Roxy and Juice and she felt horrible now for how things played out. But in her mind she was doing what was best. It just had to play this way.

Tara left shortly after, unable to make conversation with Roxy, knowing what she had done and how it would hurt Roxy if she found out. Bobby clapped Roxy's shoulder in comfort. "You doin' alright?"

Roxy sighed. "Yeah I guess. Tough day yesterday, then find out this happens." Roxy shook her head.

Bobby spotted the bling on her ring finger, Rat hadn't noticed in all the time she'd been sitting there, too preoccupied with the porn stars. Bobby pulled her hand toward him to inspect the ring. "Can't have been all bad." He grinned at her.

"Well, no." Roxy smiled. "Juice made it better."

"I'm sure he did." Bobby winked. "Who knew the little Rican had it in him."

"I always did."

Bobby sighed, knowing where this was going. Chibs had told him, since he'd been back, the real reason behind Juice's ratting. "Chibs told me. I still think he shoulda come to the club, like Chibs. But he did what he thought was right I suppose. Still don't fully excuse it though."

That was good enough for Roxy. "Well I best let you get back to your interviews. I'd hate to keep you."

"You sticking around?"

"Yeah. No way to get home. Gunna wait for Juice."

"Rat can take you."

Roxy looked over to him, completely immersed in conversation with three porn stars now, and shook her head. "Nah. I'd hate to break him away from his dream come true."

"Ok." He turned to head back to his desk, calling out for the next star along his way.

Roxy moved over to one of the booths and made herself comfortable to wait for Juice. She noticed the stars giving her the occasional glance. In particular when Rat gave her a drink, they were wondering what she was doing here. She surely wasn't a star dressed like that, but the two bikers seemed to know her and treat her with respect.

Roxy shrugged off the stares and texted Juice to find out how long he'd be. An hour or so passed before she heard the bikes roaring down the street, the noise jerking her properly awake.

She grinned as she watched Juice back in his ridiculously glittery bike. Why in the hell he chose that bike she had no idea. From

What he told her he'd had the choice of a few but the sparkly green paint apparently had drawn his interest. Luckily his other bike was back at TM ready for him to work on.

The girls had all perked up at the sound of the bikes and watched with hungry eyes as Tig, Quinn, and Juice all walked through the door. But Roxy perked up immediately when he glanced them over, searching for something and grinning when he found it. He strode across the room to Roxy, bending down and taking her face in his hands, planting a deep, loving kiss on her lips.

The other girls watched on jealously as she stood and wrapped her arms round his neck.

"Alright guys. Break it up!" Bobby called out to them. "Unless you're here to audition too get a room."

"With pleasure." Juice grinned and spanked Roxy's ass.

"I hear congratulations are in order?" He questioned Juice who looked down to Roxy for confirmation.

"Yes they sure are." Juice beamed. Quinn and Rat cottoned on and both offered their congratulations. "Guess we need to go find Jax and let him know."

"Yeah you should get on that." Bobby slapped him on the back as Juice passed them.

"Thanks for the company." Roxy called out to Rat as she left, and Bobby chuckled as Rat barely acknowledged her passing by, once again immersed in his girls.

xxx xxx

Juice and Roxy made their way round to Jax's house to break the news. The last thing Juice wanted was to piss him off by him finding out from someone else.

"Love you." Roxy kissed Juice as she hopped off his bike.

"You too baby." He grasped her hand as they made their way to his front door.

Roxy had yet to share her suspicions with him, nor had she shared her chat with Gemma this morning. Now wasn't the time.

Jax opened the door, looking surprised to find his sister and Juice on the other side.

"Mind if we have a quick chat Jax?" Roxy questioned. Her ring hand still clasped in Juice's.

Jax nodded and gestured for them to come in.

"Sorry to hear about Tara and Ma. Shits crazy, huh?" She gave him a quick hug, doubting he had any idea about Tara's game.

"Yeah. She's gone off the deep end Rox."

Roxy nodded as Jax called Tara through and they all sat on the sofas.

"So what's up?"

Juice squeezed Roxy's hand and took the lead. "I know it's shit timing and all, and we didn't know this shit with Gemma was gunna go down but we gotta tell you guys. We got some big news."

Juice was about to tell them about the proposal but Tara cut him off. "You're pregnant?" She smiled, hoping to have some good news.

Roxy looked down and shook her head, just another blow while she was down, hating Tara even more right now. "No." She said quietly. Juice stroked her hand with his thumb, the wind taken out of his sails now.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Uh, what, what is it?" Tara tried to salvage the situation as Jax eyed Juice comforting Roxy.

"Well I proposed to Roxy last night, we are engaged." He tried to lighten the mood.

Jax stood up to congratulate Juice and pulled his sister into a hug, whispering a sorry into her ear for Tara.

Tara shyly embraced Roxy as well, feeling even worse for ruining their news. "So what's the ring and how'd he do it?" She asked brightly.

Roxy divulged the details regaining some of her excitement as Tara looked at the ring in awe.

Jax turned to Juice who was watching over Roxy with a smile on his face. "Good on you bro." Juice turned to look at Jax. "Just forget about other shit. You gotta worry about her now. She's taken a beating these last two years, since she's been back." Juice couldn't help but feel this was a warning. "Just focus on her yeah. That shit today? Don't want anything bad to happen to you. She wouldn't survive without ya." And there it was. Jax's warning.

"Yeah. Of course. Got my head in the game Jax."

"Good."

They watched the girls for a minute or so and Juice could tell something was wrong with Roxy. Eventually she turned from Tara and nodded to Juice.

"We should go." Roxy turned to her brother. "Thanks. And I'll chat to you later about Ma."

"Sure thing Rox. See ya soon."

Jax showed them out and watched as they climbed on Juice's god awful new bike. He just hoped to hell he got his old Dyna fixed soon, he hated riding with that showy bike.

xxx xxx

Roxy went to bed early that night while Juice ordered some parts for his bike online. She didn't want to divulge her theories to him just yet and she was feeling tired. Everything today had just been painful.

She wanted so badly to have come home and had everyone celebrate them. But it wasn't going to be that way. There's no way they'd be able to have an engagement party with everyone the way they were right now. Not to mention there was no clubhouse to hold it in.

Then she panicked thinking about her wedding. Her dad wouldn't be there, he'd be in jail... If he was still alive. Then she'd have to pick between her brother and nephews attending or her Ma. If Jax didn't go chances were the rest of the club would support him so there'd be no wedding to worry about.

Maybe they should just elope. Get Harley along for the ride and go to Vegas or something. But then she felt bad for Juice. She knew he wanted a family and he'd love this sort of celebration. He'd told her in the past one of the best things about the club was the family shit. He didn't care so much for the business side of things, or the money and girls, the brotherhood is what he was after. Although the money and girls were good bonuses.

Eventually Juice came through and quietly changed before snuggling in beside Roxy. He realised she was awake when she curled into his side, resting her head on the crook of his arm and chest, leg looped over his as usual.

They didn't say anything as they drifted off to sleep. Just basked in each other's comfort and warmth, readying themselves for whatever was to come tomorrow.


	86. Chapter 86

**A/N: next update. Thanks for reading guys! And to Ang R, Lennon, and Sliver of Melody for reviewing as per hehe. Hope you like drama, coz it's coming! Happy ending in sight... Eventually**

Roxy had work that morning and she was not looking forward to it. She had three clients that day and all three were girls. She usually found the boys easier to work with, probably because they'd let their guard down around a woman rather than a man. Girls were the opposite, they could either be super fun or super bitchy with their female caseworkers. Roxy just hoped it was the former.

She sighed as she looked through the case files. She was to go to a school meeting with one, court with another, and finishing off the day with a hospital visit for the pregnant girl. But before each meeting she needed to chat to the girls and start forging relationships with them and their guardians. A totally easy feat in her 8 hour working day...

Juice on the other hand was straight down to Scoops for the new day. He was worried about Roxy that day, she wasn't in a particularly good place that morning and he doubted that would change over the course of the day.

Before they could even have church some crazy chick started wrecking Tig's bike before smashing her wrench through their window. They'd chased her, which only resulted in her getting away and half the town talking shit about the club as they watched on. So they spent till lunch looking for her to find out what her beef was.

Juice managed to find her address and noticed she lived with her dad. There wasn't any obvious club connection so they decided to go find out. The girl's name was Brooke and according to her dad she had some real issues. Apparently her mom had died in the same accident Jax's dad had died in.

By the time they finally arrived back at Scoops for their meeting everyone was knackered, but they had lots of shit to decide on.

Juice grabbed a beer with Chibs and downed it before making their way up for church. They sat in their usual seats as their brothers filed in around them, sparking up smokes while they waited for Rat to close the door.

That's when Jax laid out his master plan involving Clay. It was a tricky plan with lots of moving parts. But ultimately it would put the club on the right side of the law and get this DA off their backs, and Tara's.

However, the end game involved killing Clay. Juice did agree with the kill in principle, he felt shit about it, but Clay did do a lotta wrong. He was only sorry now because he knew he had nothing left. He'd seen him treat Roxy like shit on every level at every opportunity, but she was so desperate for his acceptance that she kept coming back.

She'd probably hate Juice for a little while, but she'd hopefully move past it. He remember the lyrics to that song she loved. She was definitely his angel.

xxx xxx

Just as Roxy was leaving the office at the end of the day Gemma called her asking for a lift. Nero was at Diosa and wasn't answering his phone.

Roxy agreed and picked her Ma up before turning back and making the 15 minute drive to Diosa with the promise that Juice would most likely be there. They spent the drive talking about Tara and her possible motivations, Gemma informing Roxy of what she'd found out from Margaret the administrator today. She hadn't defended the paperwork documenting Tara's 'pregnancy'. Roxy was livid now that it was confirmed Tara had faked this.

As soon as they arrived at Diosa it was clear there was something going down. Quinn and Happy stood guard outside the hall that led to the kitchen area and refused to budge to let Gemma and Roxy past.

"You don't wanna go back there right now ma'am." Roxy stifled a giggle at Quinn calling her Ma 'ma'am'.

"Look, they're gunna hurt each other because of me. C'mon break it up. Hap please." Gemma begged.

Happy looked at Quinn then nodded and they ran back to the kitchen. Gemma and Roxy followed them into the trashed kitchen where Nero and Jax were laying into one another.

Roxy stayed out the way as the pair were broken up and thrown to opposite sides of the room. Roxy moved over to Jax and Happy, seeing what damage had been done.

"Oh Jesus." Gemma took in the damage to both their faces.

"I'm sorry mama, I didn't want it to happen like this." Nero began.

"Don't be sorry. She's the reason we're trying to kill each other." Jax was pacing as Roxy tried to calm him down.

"Man, you got no idea what she's done for you." Nero defended.

"I know everything I need to know Nero!"

"Oh yeah? What about the little conjugal with Clay?"

"Don't!" Gemma interjected as Roxy clenched her fists. This wouldn't be good.

"No, no, no, mama! You told him what I did, now he needs to know... He needs to know what you've done for him."

The room went silent as all four men looked to Gemma. Roxy shared a look with her mum in an attempt to reassure her and motioned for her to say.

"So what happened with Clay?" Jax prompted aggressively. Roxy left his side to walk around the bench to her Ma.

Gemma grabbed Roxy's hand and wouldn't look up at any of the guys. So Nero took over.

"The guards from the cell, they forced your mother to have sex with Clay. While they watched. While they got off!" Everyone looked from Nero to Gemma, Quinn shifting uncomfortably, he didn't really know the history and significance of all of this having not been around during the Zobelle/LOAN saga.

"It don't matter. It's done." Roxy grasped her mums hand at the memory and Happy noticed the tension between the pair, knowing what had happened that night, but he flicked his eyes back to Jax, not wanting to dwell on the emotion in the room.

Gemma let go of Roxy, who curled against herself as she leant on the bench, and made her way over to Jax.

"No, mom." Jax pulled away but Gemma levelled him with her gaze.

"I just talked to Margaret, who confirmed what you refuse to believe. Honey, it was all a lie. The pregnancy, the miscarriage. Tara wants out, Jax. You, the club, Charming. She's filing for divorce and she's gonna take your boys away from you. From all of us."

"You're lying. You're just desperate because if we take those boys away you'll never be a grandmother again." Jax retorted.

Roxy curled her fingers in a grip on the edge of the bench she was leaning on. Nero, knowing a bit about her history, chose to wrap an arm around her shoulder and give her a squeeze.

Jax didn't know what he was saying right now, he probably forgot Roxy was there.

"Honey, I'm sorry, I love her too. But this is the truth." Gemma continued. "And if she's not gunna tell you, you need to find someone who will."

Jax looked over at Nero and then Roxy, getting the confirmation he needed from the looks on their faces. He didn't say anything though, and silently left out the back door. Gemma looked back at Nero but Roxy made her way forward.

"I'll go talk to him."

Roxy followed him outside where she found him leaning against the wall next to the bins, head resting on the wall looking up at the sky as he fumbled to light his smoke.

Roxy headed over lighting up her own smoke and sat down on one of the empty crates left out the back.

"I don't wanna believe this Rox."

"Me either Jax. But I think it's true."

Jax groaned and slid down the wall so he was sitting. "How do I know for sure."

"Lowen. She's probably been drawing up the paperwork. She'll know."

They smoked in silence for a moment. "Remember when you said you and Juice had 'me and Tara kinda love'?" Roxy nodded, it was the morning Juice had come clean about ratting to Jax. "It's bullshit. I wanna have the you and Juice kinda love." He threw his butt over at the other wall, stood and left the alleyway without uttering another word.

Leaving Roxy speechless in his wake.

xxx xxx

Roxy headed back to Scoops after Diosa, Gemma was staying with Nero and she had no idea where Jax had gone. She called Juice and he told her to come there for pizza and beers. The guys wanted to celebrate their engagement.

It wasn't the big exciting party they would have usually thrown but it was enough for them.

Roxy was sitting on Juice's lap, drinking from her beer and telling him about her day at work while he stroked her thigh with one hand, beer in the other. She'd chosen not to discuss the Tara stuff with him yet, not with everyone else around. Juice could sense the tension in her but didn't want to comment on it here, so he just kept stroking her leg, occasionally planting a small kiss on her arm.

They were interrupted eventually by the girl from that morning. Roxy had no idea who she was but she seemed young and timid, and was apparently waiting for Jax. She wouldn't leave until she'd spoken to Jax but refused to talk to anyone else. Tig said she could wait around so she sat at the booth behind them but kept quiet. The group decided to keep talking anyway and left her to it.

"So gunna have a big Ol' biker wedding?" Bobby inquired.

"Maybe." Roxy shrugged. "Guess we'll see how all this shit plays out."

"It'll come good. Always does." Bobby smiled reassuringly.

"Yeah then it's party time doll!" Tig whooped and hollered.

Roxy laughed and nodded her head. "I don't care about the party." She squeezed Juice's hand. "Just that we get to be together."

Tig made a retching noise but smiled when he saw Roxy's face. "Oh you'll be together AND we'll have a big party. Just you wait baby girl."

Roxy nodded and listened as Tig planned an outrageous wedding that involved, bikes, strippers, and specially trained crows to bring the rings down the aisle. Shaking her head the whole time.

Jax arrived half an hour or so later and cleared the room so he could talk to Brooke in peace. Roxy and Chucky were invited up to the chapel to hang while they waited to see what Jax wanted.

The guys sat in their seats round the table, beers and smokes in hand. Juice pulled Roxy down onto his lap again, a spot she happily took. Chucky grinned as he was told to sit in one of the empty chairs while the guys all talked. Roxy was impressed with everything they'd managed to do in just a couple days. She'd seen inside the chapel at the clubhouse many times over the years and this almost looked the same. Although most of the furniture and decor had a slightly singed look now.

Roxy was growing tired, keeping herself awake by stroking the back of Juice's head, but he could feel her hand dropping every now and again.

"We should get going." He nudged her and she jumped awake again.

"Sure." She stood so Juice could get up. "Thanks for tonight guys. Really appreciate it."

Tig moved over to give her a hug. "Any time doll. Sorry it wasn't more extravagant.

"You know me Tiggy. I don't need extravagance."

"I know, explains why you're with this lump." Chibs joked as he slapped Juice's shoulder.

"You're just jealous Chibs."

"That I am boyo. You take your lady home and hug her tight tonight. You're in the garage early tomorrow."

Juice groaned but nodded to Chibs before following Roxy out of the room and down the stairs. Once they were down the stairs he pulled her close to him with his arm round her shoulder and walked her through the parlour, stopping briefly to say goodnight to Jax and Brooke.

Juice walked her to the car door before kissing her and closing it behind her as she buckled in. Then he ran over to his bike and started her over so he could escort Roxy home.

xxx xxx

"So did you hear everything that happened today?" Roxy sighed as they entered their bedroom.

"Mmm Hap told me there was a fight?

"Yeah. She faked the miscarriage to set up my Ma. Doesn't want Jax or Gemma to get custody." Roxy pulled out her pyjamas before sitting on the bed.

"Why do you think she did it?" Juice sat next to her.

Roxy shrugged her shoulders. "I think she's desperate. She wasn't born into this life. She's always hated it. Loved my brother, but hated what he was around the club. Doesn't want the boys to turn out the same. But surely she could have seen a better way around it. I know my Ma clings to those boys but, I dunno, I think Jax was right when he said today that they're her only chance to be a grandma."

Juice immediately wrapped his arm around her. "That's bullshit and you know it. We will have kids Rox. And if we can't then we'll adopt. God knows we could give them a better life than some shitty parents out there. And I've been in group homes, waiting for someone to come get me, knowing that no one would. No one would have ever adopted me as a teen but we could save someone else that pain."

Roxy shook her head. "Come off it Juan. No ones ever gunna let us adopt. Giving a kid over to an MC? As if."

Juice clenched his fist but pulled her closer with his other arm. "If that's the case then I'd leave the club."

Roxy looked up at him. "No. You can't. It's your family. I wouldn't ask you to do that."

"You're my family now babe. Sure I love the club and I'd miss it. But if it made us happy I wouldn't care."

Roxy shook her head again. "I'd never ask you to do that." Roxy knew everything in his mind was so rosy but where did he think this magical fix would come from. She was a dead end. Jax said it in the kitchen. He knew Gemma wasn't going to be a grandma again, not to Roxy's kids anyway. Juice didn't seem to get that though.

"Hey there's always surrogacy. We got the money there babe."

Roxy brushed him off and stood. "Yeah. Ok. I'm gunna head for a shower."

Juice watched as she made her way to the shower, cursing Tara for doing this. Roxy would have been fine, basking in the joy of her engagement if it wasn't for her shitty plan. Fuck her and fuck Jax. He was just as much to blame for this as she was. Juice would always listen to Roxy, he knew when she felt like shit or when she was unhappy and he'd do whatever he could to fix it. Jax though? Jax's head was so far up his own ass he couldn't see how much Tara was hurting, and that just hurt her more.

xxx xxx

Roxy left for work in silence that morning, giving Juice a simple kiss on the cheek before telling him she loved him and left.

Juice thought everything over as he got dressed. Wishing he could just fix everything. But things didn't happen that way. The frustration in his situation didn't help his OCD. He kept thinking if he could just do everything perfect then life would be perfect. Any time he tried to buck against those thoughts and compulsions shit went south, and he didn't want that to happen.

By the time he got to TM things were happening. He helped Dog and the other mechanics get everything together for opening the shop, checking out his tools and making sure everything was in its place. He was enjoying working in the garage, no cars yet, but he had lots to do around the shop. However when Chibs called for church at Diosa Del Sur he was happy for the ride.

No one else knew the full details of the situation with Tara so when Jax let the guys know there were sighs of disbelief. Jax wanted her to be under watch 24/7 and right now it was West watching her. Bobby brought up the valid point that maybe someone she knows should watch her. So when no one else offered Juice figured he would. Might help him get a handle on these thoughts and her process. Maybe find out why she did what she did and give her a piece of his mind.

So as the rest of the guys left to see the Irish he went to go relieve West.

xxx xxx

Juice had been tailing Tara for a an hour or so and eventually she pulled up to Wendy's apartment, leaving the car without even looking in his direction. She hadn't spoken to him yet and didn't plan on it. Truth be told she felt guilty as hell and wondered if Juice had been sent to tail her as a punishment for hurting him and Roxy too.

Juice texted Roxy while he sat on his bike waiting for Tara to return. She hadn't replied to any of his messages yet today and he didn't know if it was because she was busy or because she was still upset. He sighed and locked his phone as Tara stormed down to her car, glaring at him before opening her door and slamming it behind her.

He started his bike ready for her to leave but had to jump off when she slammed the car in reverse and gunned it for him at high speed. He only just managed to jump out the way as she collected his new bike and rammed it halfway up the street.

Tara took off without even checking if he was ok, and Juice just stared down at his replacement bike and watched as the fuel trickled out of it.

"Crazy bitch!" He threw his helmet at the ground. Not only had his old bike been fucked with now his new one was trashed too. There went his idea of selling it.

Juice sat on the kerb and pulled out his phone to call TM.

Unser said he'd send Rat out with the truck to go pick him and his bike up so he just had to sit tight till then.

Juice called Roxy again, desperate to speak with her now, but sure enough she didn't answer. As he sat and stared at his bike he felt the urge to smash his phone on the ground along with it.

Why was he her punching bag? After the stunt with the miscarriage hadn't she hurt him enough?

xxx xxx

Roxy's phone vibrated again, it was Juice but she didn't want to answer. She was back in the office sorting out her case notes and just couldn't be bothered with the distraction. She knew he was worried but she just didn't have it in her right now to talk to him.

He was still up in the clouds with the idea of them having some perfect life, that they'd just easily be able to have kids and family and everything would be perfect. Sure it had only been a little over a year since they lost Gabriel, and only a few months since Juice was released and they started trying again, but Roxy knew what her OBGYN had said. And it wasn't promising.

Juice proposed thinking that they'd have a wonderful wedding and set off on their life together, happy and full of children.

But that wasn't going to happen. All she was going to do was disappoint him. The sooner he realised Jax was right the better.

xxx xxx

Rat dropped Juice off at the hospital to watch over the daycare in case Tara came to grab them.

It had been almost two hours and again he still hasn't heard from Roxy. It was starting to piss him off. He was just as upset about this shit as she was but he could get support off her.

He felt like his ass was moulding in to the plastic of the waiting area seat as he stared at his phone, willing it to ring.

He was disturbed from his thoughts by Tara.

"What are you doing here?"

"I always come to a hospital when someone runs me over." He snarked.

"Tell Jax I don't need a watch dog."

Juice rolls his eyes and closed his phone, standing up to look Tara in the face. "I'm just keeping an eye on Abel and Thomas. Make sure they don't go anywhere they're not supposed to. A request of their grandmother."

Tara scoffed. "Where is he?"

"I don't know."

"Just, tell me where he is asshole."

Juice eyed her up, deciding on what to tell her. He'd seen how close Jax and Colette where, maybe he'd send Tara their way. Would serve them both right. "Diosa. Stockton. Meeting with his partner Colette. Here, let me get you the address."

xxx xxx

Roxy pulled into the driveway and cut the engine. She kept her hands in the steering wheel and stared at the front door. After a moment she looked down at her engagement ring, sparkly and promising. Then back at the front door of the house she shared with Juice. She wished she could say they shared many happy memories there, but sometimes it felt like more sad memories than good. She wanted to pull into this driveway and be greeted by her children, but the emptiness of the street in the early evening was a reflection on the emptiness of their lives. Juice was all caught up in the romance of the proposal but Tara's little stunt was just a stark reminder of how things were going to go for Roxy. Her miscarriages wouldn't be fake, that was if she could even get pregnant.

Pulling her from her thoughts the front porch light flicked on and the door opened to reveal a topless Juice in track pants.

Roxy sighed and got out of the car, sure to lock it behind her, and made her way over to the house.

"Hey, what you doing sat out here by yourself?" Juice questioned.

Roxy shrugged. "Just thinking."

"Didn't want to think in here?"

She moved past him into the house as he shut and locked the door behind her. "Just needed some time by myself."

"You've not talked to me all day." Juice stated.

She shrugged. "Got shit on my mind."

"So do I." Juice retorted and Roxy turned round to look at him. Right enough he was on edge. More so than usual. "I wanted to talk you but you ignored me all day."

Roxy couldn't look at him. Guilty for not being there for him. She looked around the living room instead, seeing a few empty beer bottles lined up on the coffee table.

"Where's you're bike?"

Juice looked confused for a moment. She was avoiding talking to him. "TM. Fucking Tara ran it over. Just like she's run over our big news." He huffed.

"Probably for the best." Roxy turned to head to the bedroom to get changed out of her clothes for the day.

Juice trailed along behind her, no idea what she was on about. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" He asked simply.

Roxy groaned and flopped onto the bed. "We're never going to have a happy ending J. I mean look at it. We have a baby and some sort of fate decides to kill it along with any hope I have again of having one, you're finally reunited with me after prison and literally everything goes to shit and when you propose to me my family decides to fucking implode and ruin any hopes we could have about a fun wedding with lots of love." She rubbed her hands down her face. "Just face it Juice. Me and you-" she gestured between them- "we don't get to have a happy ending."

Juice stormed over to her and knelt in front of her, between her feet which were still planted on the floor. "Stop with the pity party Rox. Of course we fucking do. I know you think I assume this is all gunna be a fairytale ending. But I'm not stupid. It's gunna be long. And hard. But I wanna do it with you." He pulled her up so she was sitting and looking down at his face. "We are gunna be ok. There's gunna be lots of shit coming our way but it'll come good in the end and we'll get through it. I promise." He kissed her hand, the events of tomorrow weighing heavily on his mind. He knew the plan with Clay, but was confident that Roxy wouldn't know the details. Losing her dad was gunna be hard, but at least she didn't have to know it was at the hands of the club.

"Now go have a shower and I'll get dinner." He stood and tilted her face for a kiss before leaving her to it, hoping that they could at least have tonight in peace.


	87. Chapter 87

Juice kept her close that night, made her dinner, watched a movie with her, and did everything in his power to show her that she was loved and that they'd be ok. When they'd eventually gone to bed Roxy was dead to the world, falling in to a really deep sleep. It pained Juice to wake her the next morning. She was to stay with Gemma for the day, safe in case anything happened to the guys or their plan failed and the Irish came after them.

Nero was going to watch out for them and make sure they were OK. Neither he nor Gemma knew the full extent of their plan with Clay and they intended to keep it that way. It would be easier on everyone.

"Still don't see why I have to be under watch today. I wanted to chill around the house."

"Mope you mean." Juice corrected as he packed his backpack.

"Hey, I thought you said I didn't mope." She smirked, calling back to when they first were getting to know each other.

"I know you better now and I've changed my mind. Now hurry up." He patted her ass to finish getting ready.

Roxy had on her tight black skinny jeans and raked through her closet to find something Gemma approved. She settled on a tight, lacy, black blouse over her midnight blue tank top and slung on her boots.

"How am I supposed to leave you for the day looking like that?"

"Don't leave me?"

Juice smirked as he watched her apply her make up. He knew Gemma always pestered her about dressing like a real Old Lady so he watched in fascination as she dressed herself up.

Roxy caught him staring. "Hey if I'm to spend my day with the biker queen I gotta look the part."

Juice chuckled and waited for her to finish up. She still wasn't 100% convinced of their happy ending so he just hoped today wouldn't throw her off that.

xxx xxx

After dropping her off at Gemma's Juice made his way to meet up with the rest of the guys. The mechanics had spent a lot of time on his old Dyna yesterday to get it ready to ride today. His sparkly bike was well beyond fucked thanks to Tara and would take a hell of a lot longer to fix.

His bike wasn't as good as it used to be but it was good enough to ride, so he took his place in the formation and made his way to the Irish warehouse.

Juice's eyes went wide as he checked over the delivery trucks they'd be driving and some of the weapons they'd be carrying before following Jax over to check the plans. This looked like it was gunna be a hectic day. Juice figured it was time to start praying for a miracle again.

Connor showed them to another office which stored the rest of their weapons, bullet proof vests and their jumpsuits for the day.

The weight of what they were about to attempt to pull off hit him full force and Juice shot Roxy a final text before he loaded up with Jax. He'd be driving the truck carrying their president. No pressure.

Hey baby, just want to remind you I love you, thinking of you. As always. Xx - JC

He loaded up into the driver's seat, praying she responded before he had to leave and sighing with relief when his phone buzzed.

You know I love you too baby. Please, please be safe. I need you tonight, I need my happy ever after ;) xx - R

Juice chuckled at his phone and Jax raised his eyebrow.

"My sister?"

"Yeah."

Jax punched his arm firmly. "Get your head in the game bro." Jax was jealous Juice had Roxy to look out for. He wasn't lying when he told Roxy he wanted a 'her and Juice' kinda love. They had it right in all the places he and Tara had it so wrong.

Juice sighed and flicked the burner closed. He wished he could have his personal cell on him so he could look at her picture one more time. But he had to leave it at home just in case he left it at the scene.

xxx xxx

Roxy went with Gemma to TM, she spotted the boys over on the playground, Abel playing with two of the trusted crow eaters while Unser kept Thomas in the office. Gemma went straight to the baby but Roxy sighed and went over to see Abel. What Tara did was wrong, and hurtful, but Gemma wanting to keep them safe meant them being raised by crow eaters while Jax ran around with the club. It wasn't right.

"Auntie Rox! Auntie Rox!" Abel came running over and she caught him in her arms. Bless him, he had no idea of the chaos surrounding him and his family. She just wanted to keep it that way for him. So she scooped him up and carried him back to the swings, at least she could keep him occupied and having fun while everyone else around him fought out their battles.

xxx xxx

Juice and Jax were waiting in their van at the first point, Juice nervous as hell. Not just because they were attempting to pull off the impossible, but because being locked in a van with Jax was probably his worst nightmare. He had so much to say to him but no nerve to say it. So he kept to himself and went through everything in his head like he always did. Memorising every step of the plan, wanting to execute it to perfection. There was no room for errors, not just because it could land them in jail, or worse, but because his mind would dissolve into chaos if he didn't follow these details through.

"Hey, Juice." Jax broke the silence. "You here?" He'd chosen Juice as his driver like he always did, knowing he was the best getaway out of the lot of them. But he was starting to regret that choice.

"Yeah. I'm not having a breakdown man." He assured him.

"I didn't think you were."

"Chibs and some of the other guys, I know they're worried." They knew shit was difficult for him and Roxy, and Chibs questioned him on it from time to time. The others had picked up on tension here and there, especially when Chibs had administered the beat down.

"Should they be?"

"No." He shook his head. "Just feels different. I feel different." He hadn't lied to Roxy when he told her he'd leave the club. It wasn't the same any more. The shit he'd had to do since leaving Stockton, the crap piled on him, was too much. The questions he had over Darvany, the club's motivations, they kept him up at night. He just wanted to provide a stable home for Roxy and their kids.

Jax considered him for a moment. "Yeah. I get that."

They were silent for a moment before Juice decided to break it. "I got your sister to worry about now and I gotta feel like I'm doing something right Jax. Not like 'right or wrong' kinda right but I gotta feel like I'm..."

"Like you're one of the good guys." Jax finished. He remembered feeling that way too, before everything came crashing down around him.

"Yeah. I used to know how to find some of that." The implied thoughts of Darvany were caught by Jax and he nodded.

He let his jealousy over his sister's relationship slide for a moment. He may have fucked up his life but maybe she could still find a way out of it. His cell phone broke the conversation before he could continue.

"You still can." He said before taking the call.

Juice nodded silently and watched as Jax answered the phone, hoping that maybe they could get this over with and move past it all.

"That was Connor. They're en route. Transport, only one follow vehicle. Five guys."

"Cool." Juice started the van and honked the horn.

Jax shoved his hands into his leather gloves. "After this brother, it's all white hats and tight pussy... Well for us maybe. I don't wanna know about my sister." He smacked Juice's shoulder.

"Yeah." Juice chuckled and shut his door, ready to go.

They drove in silence for a few moments until they spotted the transport vehicle.

"This is it brother." Jax tapped the dashboard.

They watched as Tig and Bobby rammed the follow car and hopped into Connor's van. Juice floored it and they caught up to the transport van as it tried to make its getaway.

Within seconds, and with a bit of skilled driving on Juice's part, they'd boxed in the transport van and jumped out, guns at the ready.

Juice's heart hammered in his chest as he aimed his weapon at the transport guards, wishing now that he was anywhere but here as the adrenaline coursed through his veins. There was so much at stake and this was so wrong.

He barely heard the commands to and from the guards before Jax shot out the window. Eventually the guards complied and handed over the keys. Juice kept his weapon trained on the guards as the rest freed Clay, he was ready to jump in the van as soon as the guys were ready.

Tig yelled for them to go and Juice ran to the driver's seat and waited for Clay and everyone to get in the back. Bobby joined him on the front seat and just as they were about to take off one of the guards opened fire at the van. The two shots hit Bobby and Juice had no choice but to gun it towards the guard.

The sound it made when he hit the guard full force and threw him under the wheels of the van was something Juice would never forget. He shuddered as he floored it down the highway, in a state of shock as he listened to the guys in the back try and help Bobby. Eventually Jax noticed the tension and hopped in the front seat with Juice, slamming the partition door behind him.

"I'm sorry. But that cop was gunna keep shooting." His hands were tense on the wheel.

"I know." He clapped Juice's shoulder, not in the right frame of mind to comfort his weak minded brother. "Just head to the air strip."

xxx xxx

Roxy went with Gemma, Unser, and the boys back to Gemma's house for lunch. She hadn't heard from Juice since this morning and, having no idea what they were actually doing today, was worried sick.

They were making lunch for Wendy, who was detoxing at Gemma's while she waited on a rehab opening, when Tara walked in. It was the first time she'd seen her since Scoops and since her plan had been exposed.

"What are you doing here?" Roxy demanded, abandoning the pasta on the stove.

"I'm here to get my boys." Tara glared at Roxy as she walked over. Tara felt guilty as hell about what she'd done and how much she knew it would have hurt Roxy, but she pushed it down. She didn't have time for feelings now. She needed to get her boys and get away from this place.

"You have some fucking nerve. Do you have any idea how evil that was? Did you even care what day it was when you pretended to lose a baby? And then you came to me and acted all sad about it. Lying through your teeth to me." Roxy lost her temper and slapped her. "You bitch."

"Ey, ey! Mija calm down!" Nero grabbed Roxy's hand and pulled her back. He had taken to referring to Roxy as mija, Spanish for daughter. She didn't mind but right now she was not in the mood.

Roxy snatched her arm back from Nero and glared at Tara.

"I'm sorry it went down that way, I just had to-"

"I don't care what you had to do. You didn't care about me when you did it so why should I care now?" Roxy shouldered Tara on her way out the door.

"Roxy?" Tara called after her but Nero shook his head.

"Just leave it. She's just a bit out of it at the moment."

Tara sighed shakily and let Roxy go.

Roxy sat under the tree in her Ma's garden, breathing deeply as she attempted to calm her body which was shaking with rage at hearing Tara's shitty attempt at an apology.

Gemma came bustling out of the house with Tara and Nero. They headed to the car while Gemma came over to Roxy, holding a joint in her hand as she did. She held her hand out to Roxy to pull her up as she pushed the joint into her other hand. "Smoke this. Put it behind you for now. Guys need us." Gemma commanded.

Roxy stumbled after Gemma. "Why? What happened?" She panicked thinking the worst for Juice.

"Bobby was shot and they need Tara to patch him up. Can't leave you here baby."

Roxy groaned and slid into the seat behind Nero who was driving, looking out the window to avoid all contact with Tara. Sparking up her joint, Roxy pulled out her phone and sent Juice a message telling him she loved him.

xxx xxx

Juice pulled into the hangar and slid out of the driver's seat to get out of his jumpsuit. Clay spotted him and approached, Juice stopping what he was doing to accept Clay's hug.

"Thank you brother. For today." He kissed Juice's cheek before walking over to Jax.

Juice watched them enter the office and turned around to finish stripping off. He could feel guilt bubbling to the surface, jumping as he heard the gunshots, but pushed it back. He was ok with this. He had to be.

When he had his kutte back on he stowed his jumpsuit back in the van. He was going to spark up a smoke when he heard honking outside the hangar. He ran over to the personnel door and peeked through just as Jax and the others exited the office.

"Tara and the crew." He stated.

"Let them in." Jax ordered.

Juice opened the hangar door, letting in Gemma's SUV followed by Rat's bike. They pulled up and Juice closed the door. But when he turned around he saw Roxy hopping down from the car. His heart plummeted at the sight of her, she couldn't be here for this. He was broken from his panic by Jax calling for him to help with Bobby.

Roxy was about to follow him into the van when she saw Clay.

"Dad?"

"Hey baby." He smiled at Roxy as he motioned for Gemma to come over to him. Roxy waited with Nero, watching them chat before he kissed her cheek.

"Make it right with her." Gemma encouraged as she walked back over. Roxy accepted Gemma's gentle shove over to her father, confused as to what was happening.

"What are you doing here? I didn't realise it was your transport on the news?"

Clay sighed. "Just getting out baby girl." He wrapped her in a hug. "I love you sweet girl. Always have, always will. I'm sorry I was never the best dad."

Roxy clung to him, burying her face in his chest, savouring this hug with him. Something told her it would be the last. "Where are you going?"

"I don't know." He kissed her forehead. "But wherever it is I'll be thinking of you." He cupped her face in his hand, stroking her cheek with his thumb. "Just have a good life baby. Juice will take care of you, he's a good kid, I'd be proud to have him as a son in law." He motioned to her ring.

"Thanks dad. Just don't go too off the grid, need someone to give me away at my wedding."

Clay smiled as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her back over to the group, kissing her once more before pushing her to go stand with Gemma and Nero. "Love you."

"Love you too." Roxy was puzzled by his behaviour but didn't say anything.

"What now pres?" Clay asked.

"We settle with the Irish." Jax levelled Clay with an icy stare.

Juice jumped out of the van to stand in the group, moving over to stand beside Roxy. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and placed a kiss on her temple. For some reason Roxy felt tears prickle her eyes and she couldn't get a grip on what was happening.

"And how do we do that with three dead bodies?"

"How would you do it?" Jax retorted.

"Well... I mean smart plan would be to blame it on a bad relationship. You know, two guys with some history, get into a beef, one thing leads to another. Couldn't be helped."

"Sounds about right."

Clay looked at each of the members in turn, avoiding his daughter's questioning gaze. "So I guess you had another vote I wasn't privy to?"

"Yeah we did. This time it was unanimous." Jax replied.

"Fair enough." Clay sighed.

Roxy looked up at Juice. "What's going on?"

"Let's go." Tig said as he pulled Clay along. They needed to get this done, before the Irish arrived and before Roxy cottoned on to what was happening.

Juice shook his head at Roxy and kissed her once more before following the others. Roxy grabbed his arm to try pull him back but Jax ordered Quinn to come grab her.

Juice didn't look back as he heard Roxy demanding to know what was happening.

Roxy tried to shake Quinn but he was like a one man mountain, she felt the tears flow freely as Gemma moved to stand beside her, resting her hand on Roxy's arm.

"Ma? What are they doing?"

Gemma shook her head and Roxy tried wrestling with Quinn again, annoyed that no one was answering her.

She felt it sink in when the guys shut the office door behind them and she watched Clay move to the other side of the room.

He looked through the window at Gemma and Roxy, Roxy struggling to come to him, crying and saying something he couldn't hear.

He didn't look at Jax as the shot was fired, just looked longingly at the two beautiful women he once called his family. The two beautiful women he had taken for granted and hurt in so many ways. He heard Roxy scream as she tried leaping out of Quinn's arms and fell to his knees as he felt his life slipping away.

Juice felt his stomach clench with the weight of what they'd just done, Roxy's sobbing echoing clearly through the hangar. He couldn't watch as Clay died, jumping when Jax fired another five shots into his lifeless body.

Gemma curled into Nero as Roxy shook with sobs, the vision of the blood pouring out of her father's body burned into her memory. She too dropped to her knees, the weight of her grief and shock too much to bear.

Quinn allowed her to fall slowly, not wanting to pick her up choosing to let her grieve but after a moment Rat moved over to help her stand. Roxy clung to him like a lifeline. The rage at the club bubbling up within her was not linked to Rat, he wasn't really here when all this started, then as a Prospect he wasn't involved. The fact that he wasn't in the room when they killed Clay showed that he wasn't linked.

Roxy felt Rat's hands slip down her arms as he let her go, then warmer, more familiar hands attempted to pull her in closer.

Roxy violently batted Juice's hands off her body. "Don't touch me!" She sobbed.

Juice crumpled in on himself, the last time he'd heard her say that was when he'd come to Harley's after cheating with Crystal.

"Roxy I-"

Her eyes burned into his as she spoke. "You did this! It was unanimous! How could you do that to me?!" Roxy was hysterical and in shock. Gemma and Nero both tried comforting her but she kept pushing them away.

"Baby please just come with me." Juice was pleading, tears in his eyes as Chibs and Tig tried to calm the situation.

"I can't be around you right now." She pulled her ring off and threw it over to him, Juice catching it, just. "I hate you. All of you!"

She ran over to car as Juice stared at the ring in his hand, completely unable to process this. He knew she'd be upset but he thought they'd get past all this. What had he done to jinx it? He did everything right today, everything went exactly how it should. He followed every compulsion to the letter, this shouldn't have happened. Juice felt the panic rise in his chest while Chibs and Tig tried to speak to him all he could do was stare at the ring.

Jax followed Roxy to the car where she'd locked herself away. He opened the door to see her fumbling with her lighter, hands shaking violently with the shock.

"Roxy, you gotta calm down. This had to happen."

Roxy laughed humourlessly. "You couldn't just let me have one thing Jax. Could you?" She managed to spark the smoke and inhaled a deep shaky breath. "You and Tara got the baby, while I lost mine, you got your wedding while I got cheated on, finally I'm happy and get engaged and your fucked up marital problems ruined that too. Now you've landed the final blow. Taking away my dad because you couldn't have yours."

Jax's nostrils flared with anger at his sister's words. "That's not what this is about. This had to happen today."

"I was gunna ask who's going to give me away at my wedding now seeing as you took away my dad, and I'm sure as hell not asking you. But it doesn't matter. You fucked my relationship too with your shitty fucking club votes."

Chibs made his way over to collect Jax, knowing the tense words the siblings were having would not end well. Jax complied with Chibs' instructions to leave Roxy alone but he slammed the door so ferociously in his wake that it set the car alarm off.

Roxy inhaled and exhaled as steadily as she could, attempting to dull the mixture of anger, panic, and grief that whirled in her chest. But when Tara opened the other passenger door to slide into the car as Nero started the engine she felt her breath quicken.

Juice tried to catch her attention as Nero pulled the SUV out of the hangar but he couldn't tell if Roxy could see him through the tinted windows. So Juice made his way to the driver's seat ready to take Bobby to the cabin, hoping he could keep it together long enough to get him there safely. It would be difficult, especially with Roxy's engagement ring burning a hole in his kutte pocket.


	88. Chapter 88

**A/N: still absolutely torn about what happens at the end of season 6. Last chance to air your opinions before I bite the bullet! I know what happens to Juice either way, it won't really affect that. But depends what your preferences are, if you'll keep reading even if they die or not.**

 **Loving your reviews by the way! So exciting.**

Roxy sad silently in the car as they pulled out of the airstrip. Her mind was buzzing and every time she closed her eyes she saw her dad's blood. She swallowed thickly before noticing the joint her Ma was offering her, saying nothing as she accepted it gratefully.

Nero was the first to break the silence. "That shit with Clay?"

"I didn't know." Gemma answered.

"They voted that?" He sounded almost as shaken up as Roxy which she found confusing. He was supposed to be a gangster, why the fuck would he care about this shit.

"Yeah." Gemma whispered.

But that wasn't enough for Tara, mounting her high horse she started to explain to Nero. "A few months ago Clay killed Piney Winston. One of the original members. Then he ordered the cartel to kill me. Because I know what he did to John Teller." She was quiet for a second but before Roxy could attack her she started. "Jax stopped them but that's how my hand got crushed. Ruined my career."

"Jesus." Nero whispered.

"Clay Morrow shoulda been dead a long time ago."

Roxy snapped. "Stop the car!" She all but screamed.

"Huh? Mija?"

"I'm not your fucking daughter Nero. Stop the damn car before I put a bullet in her head."

Nero looked to Gemma, who shrugged. "Don't make no difference to me if she's dead but you probably don't want the blood spatter on the leather."

Tara scoffed and rolled her eyes as Nero pulled off the highway to a shop's car park.

"Where are you going?" Gemma demanded.

"I don't know. I'll call Harley. Just get HER the fuck away from me before I do some damage." Roxy slid out of her seat.

"Call me baby."

"I will Ma."

Roxy watched as the SUV drove off and called Harley, praying to god she was somewhere close by.

xxx xxx

Jax had Rat drive Bobby to the cabin, Juice not really being in a good state to drive right now. They'd waited around for Connor to arrive and see the 'crime scene'. Jax took him inside while he, Tig, and Chibs went out for a smoke.

"Shit brother." Chibs offered Juice a smoke as he leant against the wall of the hangar.

"I dunno what to do man. She shouldn't have been here." He was still trying to hold back tears and the emotion that was rolling around inside of him threatening to burst through the dam.

"She'll come good bro. That was some traumatic shit back there. But she'll get past it."

"Yeah, without me by the sounds of it." Juice groaned and sat on the floor with his back to the wall.

"Nah, she won't leave you now Juice. Too much connection there."

"I'd rather her go than stay out of some shitty twisted up sense of duty."

Tig sighed and left him to wallow in self pity. There was no use getting through to him now.

Eventually, once things were tied up at the hangar the guys headed back to get their bikes before riding to the cabin to see Bobby, and hide out.

Juice watched on as Tara patched up his brother. All he could see though was the pain in Roxy's eyes as she threw his ring back at him. He had it so right but now it was all so wrong.

Bobby eventually came round as Tara finished her stitching and they all breathed a sigh of relief.

After a celebratory drink some of the guys went back to their homes, Juice couldn't. He didn't want to know what he'd find there. So instead he took a bottle of Jacks and the stash of weed from his saddle bag before settling himself down on the deck to contemplate the shit storm that was his life.

xxx xxx

Roxy had filled Harley in on everything that went down that day. They were currently sitting in her house, drunk and high, commiserating the loss of their fathers.

"I dunno, maybe giving him the ring back was being over dramatic." Roxy looked at the empty spot on her finger. "He's just made me so angry. How could he do that?"

"He doesn't have a choice though with the club, does he?"

"Yes. They can vote whatever way they choose. That's the point."

"I guess."

They sat in silence for a bit longer, neither knowing what to say. Harley checked her phone again before sighing and dropping it to the table.

"What's wrong?" Roxy asked as she poured some more tequila.

"Just... Happy. He was supposed to help me tie up the loose ends for dad's funeral. But he didn't come over last night, not answering his phone. I dunno what I've done."

"He's probably stuck doing club shit. That crap today was insane and I didn't see him there. Probably can't call or anything."

"Yeah. Maybe. Think I was probably a bit deluded thinking we'd have something steady."

"Harley, he'd be insane to let you go. Plus you're the first girl anyone's seen him with for more than one night. You know what he was like. Just wait till you see him and get an explanation."

Harley sighed. "How did we get so fucking tied up in this shit?"

Roxy let out a chuckle. "Because we liked the chase from a bad boy?"

Harley laughed. "Yeah, maybe."

xxx xxx

Juice woke up, hungover and still in a shitty mood. He didn't want to go home so he made himself useful around the cabin. Thoughts of an empty house when he got back to Charming were too much.

He made Tara a cup of tea, Jax's orders to keep her happy while she watched over Bobby.

"Need anything else?"

"No I'm fine."

"Alright, lemme know."

He made his way back out to the living area deciding he'd bite the bullet and call Roxy out on the veranda.

Roxy woke up, phone ringing obnoxiously on the bedside table, Harley pushing at her to answer it from her spot on the bed next to her.

Roxy saw the caller ID. It was a burner and she guessed it was Juice. She sighed and rolled out of bed to go answer in the living room.

"Hello?" She grumbled.

"Roxy, babe, please don't hang up." Juice sounded panicked on the phone, thinking she'd hang up the second she heard his voice.

He heard a lighter click before she started talking. "Juice I don't really wanna talk to you."

"Why not? We need to sort this out."

"What is there to sort out Juan? You killed my dad yesterday, in cold blood, and for what crimes? That shit was all voted on before and he was out." She couldn't help the cold trickle of rage in her voice as she continued to smoke the joint Harley had left in the ashtray.

"It's club shit Roxy I had to vote that way and you know it."

She let out a cold chuckle. "Yeah club shit. That's right. That's exactly why I didn't want involved with the club to start with. Who are you guys to play God?"

Juice groaned. "So what? Now you wish we weren't ever together? You wish you didn't come back to Charming?"

"Maybe."

"Then why the fuck did you agree to marry me four fucking days ago?"

"I don't know Juice, I need some time to figure this out. I watched my brother kill my dad yesterday. Shoot him in the neck so he bled out slowly, in front of me. And you guys all sanctioned it! How can I look at you when all I see now is you walking him to his death? I didn't even say goodbye properly, or that I forgive him for everything."

"He treated you like shit your whole life Roxy! He was only being nice to you now because he thought it'd curry him favour with me. You're gunna be better off without him." He was clutching at straws now to try get her to see his point.

"That wasn't your decision to make! Or Jax's!"

Juice sighed lengthily, pinching the bridge of his nose to keep his cool. "You weren't supposed to be there and I'm sorry for that."

"Yeah, and then what would you have told me huh? You'd have come home, apologised, fed me some bullshit lie about him dying then held me while I cried? How could you even think about lying to me like that?"

"I don't know. I didn't get that far. Just promise me you'll be at home when I get back."

"I can't." She said softly. "I just need some time Juice. I don't know if I can justify what you did yesterday."

Juice could feel tears sting his eyes as his chest tightened with panic. This was it for them. "Please, Roxy, just.."

"I'm sorry Juan. I can't. I'll talk to you in a few days." She chocked out through a son and hung up before he could reply.

Juice stared at the burner for a second before spinning and throwing it against the wall.

Rat ran out to see what was happening only to find Juice pacing, clenching his fists, and stood on the broken bits of a burner phone on the floor.

"Dude-"

"Not now Rat."

Seeing the twisted look on Juice's face Rat took that as his cue to leave.

After a while Juice calmed down enough to go back inside, not talking to West and Rat who were playing cards at the dining table. Neither wanted to pester him having heard his tantrum before.

Tara came in to the room eventually, ready to leave. "I have to go back to St. Thomas."

"Rat will go with." Juice ordered, having been left in charge.

"I'd be lost without him." She scoffed on her way to the door.

"Anything we need to do for Bobby?" West questioned.

"Don't let him die." She stopped at the door. "He'll be ok. Let's go!" She ordered Rat.

"Yes ma'am." He threw his cards down and took off after her.

Juice rolled his eyes as she left and made his way through to Bobby, figuring he might help him sort through the mess in his head. He usually did.

"Really?" He eyed the joint in Bobby's hand.

"Doctor's orders." He took another drag. "Sit down."

Juice moseyed over and sat on the end of the bed, Bobby passing him the joint.

"So I guess it played out the way it was planned. Clay?"

Juice nodded. "Yeah. Other than Gemma and Roxy being there."

"Had to happen brother."

"She don't get that. Hates me for it. She threw my fucking ring back in my face."

"You had to vote yes. It needed to be done. She's just upset."

Juice looked at his hands before up at Bobby again. "Why'd you change your mind? Vote yes this time?"

"Clay deserved the mayhem, for what he did. I never had any doubt about that. But the first time, just wasn't best for the club. Was no good for Jax. But this time, it made sense."

"Yeah." Juice looked back at Bobby. "Don't think Roxy is ever gunna understand that."

"Look that girl has been twisted by Clay since she was born. You never saw her as a kid. Chasing after her daddy, desperate for whatever morsel of attention he threw her way. All she's done is search for that love and acceptance. Clay only just changed his tune when he realised what shit he was in. Manipulated her in the hopes it would save his life."

"I told her that."

"She won't see it Juice. But you, brother, you've given her that love and acceptance without question. She'll come back around." He stubbed out the joint.

Juice watched as Bobby tried to stand, grunting with the effort.

"I don't believe I gotta do this." He sat up. "When was the last time you got your dick sucked?"

Juice glared at him. "I don't think you're up to it brother."

Bobby chuckled and coughed. "Just go to Diosa, shithead. Get a massage, drop a few Oxy, get some head from some fresh pussy. You need to unwind man. Roxy don't have to know."

Juice knew that was a shit idea only likely to dig him deeper with Roxy. "I'll be fine."

"It ain't a suggestion. Just go." He started making his way slowly to the bathroom while Juice contemplated what he said. "West!" He called out. "You're gunna need to hold my dick while I piss." He said when West appeared at the door. "You're gunna need to two hands."

West looked to Juice. "He serious?"

"Yeah. He's huge. You're gunna need both hands." Juice said without a hint of humour.

West looked longingly at his beer and put it down on the bedside table before joining Bobby in the bathroom.

Juice sighed and looked over at the oxy sitting on the table. After a moment of silent consideration he picked a couple up. Looking at the blister packs he sighed and picked up a few more.

Maybe Bobby was right and getting high as fuck would help.

xxx xxx

Roxy's phone seemed to vibrate on a continuous loop, Juice's face popping up into the iPhone display over and over again. Every time she saw his bright eyes and goofy grin it morphed into her father's pained expression as he died and she'd reject the call.

Eventually she had Harley drop her at home so she could grab her car and go for a drive to clear her head. Harley didn't know that and dropped her off thinking she'd be moping around in solitude at the house.

Roxy watched Harley's tail lights disappear and moved to the bedroom to change. Roxy bit back tears as she moved about their pristine bedroom, nothing out of place and everything perfectly organised. But she couldn't reminisce right now. She changed into fresh undies, jeans and a sweatshirt before running to the kitchen to grab something to drink. She could have sworn she had a bottle of tequila stashed in the pantry but she couldn't see it, settling for vodka she grabbed it and ran to her car to escape Charming.

xxx xxx

Juice had tried calling and calling with no response. He'd been by the house, Roxy wasn't there and he figured she'd have been at Harley's still as her car was still in the garage. Lying on the sofa he kept going over everything in his mind. The look on Roxy's face as she threw the ring, the pain in her voice when she told him she needed time away. Her truly fucked this up. He messed up with Crystal but somehow he knew in his gut he'd get her back. But this time he didn't have that feeling. The thoughts racing through his mind were deafening. He was worthless, he'd destroyed Roxy in every way, thinking over every time he'd failed her or she'd been hurt because of him, and now he was all alone. No one had wanted him his whole life. Starting with his father and ending with Roxy, his mother, old friends, and every girlfriend he'd ever had. She'd never want him after this. This was it for him.

He'd taken two of Bobby's oxys and rinsed it down with the tequila from the pantry and when Roxy rejected his call for the thousandth time he decided to take Bobby up on his idea.

Juice hated being alone, and Roxy was never coming back here. So he scooped up the rest of the oxy and shoved it into his pocket, chugged some more tequila and somehow rode to Diosa.

The buzz from the oxy was slowly starting to cloud his mind as he parked his bike out the front of the brothel. He wasn't really planning on doing much but maybe if he just got a massage and had some company it would ease the pain in his chest.

He swallowed two more oxy with a few measures of tequila from the bottle and stumbled his way inside. He barely registered Lyla at the entrance as he focused on the sofa in the lounge, willing his feet to make it over to the inviting cushions and sunk down onto them. He vaguely realised that for the rest of his life now the only comfort he would get would be from hookers and sweet butts and the thought nearly made him cry. He'd lost his sweet, nice, sexy Roxy.

Lyla watched as juice stumbled over to the sofa and knew he was in a bad way. Roxy and Harley had filled her in on everything last night when she swung by with some Cara Cara paperwork. She picked him up a beer and made her way over to see what the go was.

"Hey honey. Business or pleasure?" She asked brightly.

"Thanks. Uh. Pleasure, I think?" He looked her over, seeing all her soft features, bright eyes and smile. He knew why Opie loved her, she was too good for this kinda life. But then he saw the fading bruises and scars from the torture porn and realised that every girl involved with the Sons was burned in some way or another.

"You okay?"

Juice leaned forward. "I'm working on it."

She could see the pain brimming behind his eyes. "I'm heard about what went down yesterday. I'm sorry."

"Had to happen eventually right? I was kidding myself it would ever work out."

Lyla took his hands and tried to look in his eyes. "It'll be good again."

Juice shook his head and the tears spilled over and a few rasping sobs escaped his hold. "I'm sorry. I'm kinda high." He said as he wiped away the tears.

"You tried calling Roxy."

Juice nodded. "She uh, doesn't want to see me. Gave my ring back. Wants a break. She's done with me. With this." A few more tears escaped.

Lyla sighed, he needed company, someone to just look after him for a while. She held a hand out and pulled him up. "C'mon." She led him to one of the rooms and helped him inside.

"Get undressed, put on a robe, I'll send someone back. Preference?" She asked brightly.

Juice studied her for a moment. She was being so nice to him. He needed that, he liked nice. Nice like Roxy. "Someone nice."

Lyla closed the door softly behind her and Juice looked around the room. It had been a long time since he'd been in a brothel. Before the Sons, while he was traveling to California. It was a long and lonely cross country ride and he'd try pick chicks up at bars but sometimes it didn't happen or he didn't feel like it and just wanted the company. And you'd get what you paid for if you came to a brothel. The girls would do what you liked even if that meant just talking and cuddling, which embarrassingly enough he did more than once.

Of course that all changed when he joined the Sons. He no longer had to pay the girls to sleep with him, but the sweet butts didn't really talk, not that half of them could even hold conversations. But by then he had his brothers for company and it wasn't so bad. His ex had been good for a while but then she grew bored of the biker novelty and found his compulsions too hard to live with and broke up with him. But Roxy? Roxy was everything. She'd try anything in bed, wanted to cuddle, wanted to talk and share things with him.

But now that was gone and he was back to square one. Jax helped it happen in his desperation to take down Clay, but then Juice thought Roxy would have left him at some point anyway. He wasn't destined to be happy.

He stumbled to the bathroom, stripping his shirt off so he could rinse his face. He stared at his reflection in the mirror, not recognising the guy looking back, everything playing on a loop in his head, over and over and over.

He could feel the panic exploding in his chest and he was finding it hard to breath, he dropped to the floor, panting, and pulled his kutte over to him. Rummaging through the pockets for the oxy he thought that would make him feel better. He fumbled with shaking hands to pop the little white pills from their blister packs and shoved them into his mouth, crunching them to dust and swallowing despite the bitter taste.

He crawled back over to the door frame and used it to pull himself up, he managed to undo his belt after a few tries and slid his pants to the floor along with his boxers. Juice kicked the mess of fabric from his feet and slowly made his way back to the bed where he'd thrown the near empty tequila bottle from his hoodie. After a few more swigs there was a knock at the door, he shotted the last of the bottle and shoved it under the bed before telling whoever it was to come in. A bright young brunette entered through the door and introduced herself. Juice wasn't listening he just made his way to the massage table and gingerly climbed on as the girl took in his body.

She turned on some soft music and lit a few candles, talking gently to him as she started rubbing him down, his skin tingled everywhere she touched it and relaxed into the mattress as he felt the world slip away.

xxx xxx

Roxy had been driving for two hours before she pulled off at some lookout near Yosemite. Juice often came here when he felt like a nice ride and Roxy had accompanied him on more than one occasion. It was close enough to the highway that she felt safe but quiet enough that she could drink herself to oblivion.

Roxy watched the sun set from the tailgate of her Jeep, swigging generously from the vodka. As time wore on she realised she must have ignored almost a hundred calls, Juice's had stopped some time ago but they were only replaced by calls from Gemma.

"Man I am popular tonight." Roxy slurred to no one in particular. She leaned her back against one side of her car propping her legs against the other wall and looked out at the stars. People tell children that loved ones who die fly up to the sky as stars looking down on them. She smirked and stifled a sob, ain't no way Clay was up there that's for damn sure. She reflected on all the times he'd hurt her and ignored her, pushed her buttons, but he was still her dad. It should have been her choice to have him in her life or not. But Jax, Juice, and the club took that choice from her.

Her eyes stung when she thought of Juice, her sweet, perfect Juice. He was ruined now, tainted with the pain of the murder of her father.

But Roxy couldn't think about that any more. So she tipped the bottle of vodka back and took another pull.

xxx xxx

Juice woke up to the sound of Gemma and Nero. Why were they in his bedroom? He hazily grinned, remembering when he first brought Roxy back to his house for the night and he'd stupidly told her the only other chick that had been in his room was Gemma. He felt a pull at his heart when he thought of Roxy. That was weird, why did that hurt?

He listened to the buzzing of talking around him as his head swirled and eyes blurred as he opened them. There was a straw being shoved in his face for some reason and he could hear Lyla's sweet voice somewhere in the distance. But then he felt the roar of nausea from his stomach and leant over, retching and throwing up what felt like pure tequila mixed with stomach acid.

Juice drifted in and out but heard Lyla saying something about calling Roxy and that pain came back. His mind cleared slightly and he remembered the ring in his kutte pocket. She'd left him. He helped kill Clay and she left him. The thought made him retch again. Eventually the vomiting subsided long enough for Nero to decide to move him.

Feeling hands pulling him up under his arms made him realise he needed to walk. He tried to operate the appropriate muscles but it was a slow.

"Where's Roxy?" He mumbled.

"Not here, don't worry about that right now, homey."

"It's done. She hates me." His words were slurred by the drugs still in his system.

"She don't hate you." Nero continued supporting Juice as he slowly walked around the bed.

"She does. All Jax's fucking plan. Just does whatever he fucking wants and drags us along." He rolled slightly, stumbling on his own feet. "Everyone keeps helping him. Even you when he killed that girl. I know he did, but he won't say. Made Tara pretend that baby died-"

"Whoa hold up. What girl?"

"The mom."

Nero stopped and pushed Juice against the wall so he could look him in the eye. "Darvany?" Juice nodded.

"Maybe I should just go too. Ain't nothin here for me now." He mumbled. Nero didn't pay attention to his suicidal ideation, realising the horrible truth about Darvany.

"It wasn't the drugs?" He said to himself.

"Of course not. I know how to shoot up. Fucking mistake that was. I was a shit person then making shit decisions and I'm a shittier person now making shittier decisions."

Nero wasn't listening though. He pushed Juice over to the bed, he was rambling in the background while Nero thought everything through in his head. Sandy knocked on the door and grabbed his attention.

"It's Gemma says she needs you at Jax's now."

"Ok, watch him for me will you?"

Sandy nodded as he passed and looked over, wide eyed, at Juice who was star fished in the middle of the bed mumbling and crying about some chick called Roxy and how much of a fuck up he was.

What a fun night this would be.


	89. Chapter 89

**A/N: cheers for the reviews as usual! Hope you like what's coming muahahaha!**

Roxy stirred as the light from sunrise broke through the trees, rubbing her eyes she looked over at the clock on her dashboard 5:30am.

"Shit." She sat up in the driver's seat and rolled her shoulders.

Then she remembered it was Friday and she was supposed to work today. Grabbing her phone she tried to unlock it, dead. She scrambled in the glovebox and found her charger and hastily plugged it in, kicking the car over to start charging the phone.

How could she have fallen asleep out here? So fucking stupid to drive to the middle of nowhere and start drinking.

Eventually the phone turned on, there was no way she was making it back in time for work.

A flurry of messages popped up and she noted one from Harley.

Hey, fuck knows where you've gone to. I came by the house and you weren't there. Neither was Juice. I figure you've gone driving somewhere and I messaged Joey for you. Just call me soon as you get this. Love you babe xx -H

Shit. She dialled Joey's number and waited to be connected.

"Roxy? I didn't expect to hear from you today. Harley messaged me on Facebook." They'd met when Harley had come for visits in New York.

"Uh, yeah. I had to go clear my head. Forgot today was Friday."

"I'm real sorry about your dad. Just don't stress, if you're up for it come in on Monday but I don't expect you to."

"I'm so sorry Joey. I've only been working for you for like a week. This shit... It's just insane right now. I think it was stupid of me to take the job."

Joey made a tsk noise. "Don't be silly. I want you on my team. I know what it's like with your family. I get it. Just don't quit or anything yet. We can make it work."

"Ok, thanks for understanding Joey. I'll make it up to you, I promise."

"I'll hold you to that Morrow. Now go sort your family out."

"Thanks Joey."

Roxy groaned as she hung up, she hated putting people out. Joey didn't mind but she didn't want to have a repeat of St. Thomas where the rest of the staff hated her for being flaky.

But she sighed and belted herself in, at least she didn't have to worry about that today. She shot Harley a text saying she was on her way and headed back to Charming.

xxx xxx

Juice's head was pounding and he rolled over without opening his eyes. He bumped into someone who gave a squeak that did not sound like Roxy.

"Shit." He opened his eyes and took in the sight of Sandy lying next to him in nothing but lingerie. "Shit, shit, shit." He sat up.

"Whoa calm down Juice. We didn't do anything."

"What the fuck happened?" He questioned.

"You came here high as fuck. Don't you remember anything?"

"Not really, no." He rubbed his eyes.

"Well you gave me a heart attack ODing on my massage table. We've been taking it in turns to watch you all night." Shit he OD'd. It came flooding back then in bits and pieces. "Something about your girlfriend breaking up with you. Fuck knows why anyone would break up with you..."

Juice wasn't really paying attention. He rolled out of the bed, fighting the urge to vomit, his mouth tasting like shit, and made his way to the bathroom. He rinsed his face and swilled out his mouth before looking up into the mirror. God he looked like shit. He saw his kutte hanging up on the door behind him and pulled it off, his tshirt underneath. He quickly redressed and made his way back into the room after having a piss.

Lyla was standing at the end of the bed with her arms crossed, Sandy no where to be found.

"What the hell Juice?"

He groaned and hung his head down. "I'm sorry Lyla. Didn't mean to freak anyone out. I uh, just didn't know what to do. Bobby told me to come here, take some oxy and get my dick sucked."

"Yeah take some oxy and get a buzz on not down half a pack of 80s and OD on a massage table. What's gotten into you? You should know what that much oxy would do." She sat down on the bed and Juice joined her.

"I know, I know. Just, fuck. I dunno what to do about Roxy."

"Yeah well Roxy is the least of your troubles right now. Gemma and Nero had to help me sort you out. Gemma made you throw everything up and then we dressed you."

Juice took his head in his hands and let out a long string of cuss words. "You serious?" That's all he needed. His mother/mother in law to see him like that.

"Yeah." She sighed and placed a hand on his back. "Look, Juice, I know you're hurting and you think that this is the end for you. But it's really not. Even if shit doesn't work out with Roxy she wouldn't want you to do this. You can't just write yourself off."

"I'm not suicidal Lyla." He mumbled.

"Could have fooled me Juice."

He looked up at her. "I don't think I am Lyla. I just, I just wanted to forget about her for a bit. I hate being alone, just wanted to forget what it was like when she was around you know?"

Lyla nodded and looked to the floor. "I know Juice."

He remembered then, Lyla was alone too. "Oh shit. I'm sorry. I just... I dunno. I've never had anyone who cares about me. Roxy did. And I fucked it."

"You've fucked it before and she took you back. What makes this time different?"

"I dunno. Just feels different." His ringing phone cut off the conversation. He fumbled in his pockets for it and eventually found the burner, praying it was Roxy, but no such luck.

"Juicy Boy!"

"Chibs."

"Where are ya?"

"Diosa."

"Ah Bobby said he'd sent you there. Didn't think you'd spend the night though. Rascal!"

Juice chuckled dryly. "Yeah... Well... No where else to sleep."

"Ok. We'll meet us at the cabin yeah? Got shit to do other than get our dicks sucked."

"Ok, see you in 30."

He flicked the phone shut and looked at Lyla.

"No one else knows. Gemma's instructions."

Juice breathed a sigh of relief. Good. Last thing he needed was Chibs on his back again, worried about him.

Juice stood and made sure he had everything, cringing slightly as he felt Roxy's ring in his inner kutte pocket.

"Thanks for last night Lyla. I am really sorry."

"Any time Juice." She pulled him in for a hug. "Just look after yourself, please? We don't need to lose anyone else."

Juice grasped her tightly at those words. "Yeah. I will."

xxx xxx

Roxy was taking refuge in Harley's house when she got the call from Unser. Jax and Gemma both refused to collect Clay's body and as a result he was being buried at Stockton. Unser was going to the funeral, if you could call it that, and asked if Roxy wanted to go.

So now she found herself, dressed in Harley's ill fitting black dress, holding Harley's hand as they watched some convicts fill dirt in over her father's crappy chip board casket.

She knew she shouldn't be this sad. It wasn't as if they had the best relationship, if you could even call it that. But they'd been mending bridges and reconnecting. Now it was gone. Juice said it was all about him trying to gain forgiveness or a free pass from the MC. But now Roxy would never find out.

Unser pulled her in for a hug as they left the prison grounds. "Your dad had a lot of short comings, as a friend, as a father. But don't doubt he loved you Roxy." Roxy nodded, accepting Unser's kind words and taking some sort of peace in them. Unser had watched Clay treat Roxy poorly her whole life, and he wasn't sure Clay really loved anything aside from power, but if it could help Roxy he'd say whatever he had to.

xxx xxx

Juice forced himself to eat a breakfast burrito before he got to the cabin and by the time he got back to Scoops with Bobby, Tig, and Chibs he was feeling a lot better.

That was until Gemma opened the door for them, then he felt sick again.

The rest of the guys headed up to Chapel to wait for Jax but Gemma called Juice back.

"Hey, give me a minute?" Juice nodded and followed her over to the sweets bar. "Sweetheart, run up to Sarducci's grab us some sausage and peppers, dozen hard rolls, some sides, guys are gunna be hungry." Brooke took the money Gemma offered as her and Juice sat down.

"Sarducci's? I can make better sandwiches here." Chucky offered.

Gemma looked from Chucky to Brooke pointedly. Brooke realised Gemma wanted the place cleared and grabbed Chucky. "Come on. I'll introduce you to my friend knee-pads Nina. She likes em kinda... Freaky."

"Why do they call her knee-pads?"

"Wow where were you hatched?"

"New Jersey. It's the Garden State." Chucky answered innocently.

Gemma and Juice watched them leave, shaking their heads.

"I like that girl, she's got sass."

"Yeah... She's cute. Nuts, but cute. Jax is letting her work off the damage." He replied, looking anywhere but at Gemma.

"What about you? Where you at with working off the damage?" She caught his eyes.

Juice eyed her. "Not as good as you. You reek of bleach."

"Yeah, well, just been staying busy. Tara's a shitty cleaner, got lots more to do. But you dodged my question."

He shrugged. "I'm sorry about Diosa. Just lost track of what I took."

"Bullshit. You are not a guy that loses track Juice. You knew taking that many could kill ya."

He shrugged again. "But it didn't."

"Grateful or disappointed?"

He chuckled dryly. "I don't wanna die Gem. Just... Don't wanna go back to being on my own. You gunna tell Jax?"

Gemma watched him carefully. "You're never alone Juice. And Roxy... She'll come round. She's probably just more hurt she'll never be able to get Clay's attention now. There's a lotta daddy issues there, despite the fact I tried to compensate. You make her happy. She'll figure it out." She sat up straighter. "As for Jax, he's got enough shit on his plate right now. I ain't about to pile it higher."

They came to an easy silence, but Juice broke it. "Nero say anything about last night? I think I might have overshared on a few things." He had a feeling he'd been on a rant about Jax, worried he'd spilled his suspicions about Darvany.

"Don't worry, he knew you were really gay." Juice glared at her. "Don't worry. You didn't say anything."

"Yeah, okay." Juice nodded.

The sound of Jax's approaching bike caught Gemma's attention. "Look you gotta sort your head out around Roxy. You can't let it twist you up like this every time you hit a bump in the road, because there'll be lots. Vulnerability is a liability. No place for it in this life. Why do you think we have all these rules for Old Men and Old Ladies?"

Jax entered the parlour and helped himself to coffee. Juice didn't really pay attention as they talked behind him, choosing to look out the window instead and mull over Gemma's words. She was right, he loved Roxy, but he couldn't let it screw his mind up like this any time he fucked up.

When he spotted the sheriff's cruiser pull up he swore. "Oh shit."

Gemma stood when she spotted Roosevelt and the DA approach the door. "I'm about to cat fight on the coloured girl."

"Not today mom." Jax warned.

"Mr. Teller, we need to talk." DA Patterson greeted.

Jax and Gemma hugged before Gemma decided to leave, gathering her bag and moving slowly between Juice and the DA.

"Mrs. Teller." She greeted.

"Suck my white crack." Gemma said lowly as she walked past.

Juice stifled a laugh and moved over to the rest of his brothers who waited at the bottom of the stairs. They were all slightly worried that Tara had gone through with some sort of deal. And if she had, they were all living on borrowed time.

Jax motioned for them to go upstairs and Chibs followed behind Juice, clapping him on the back as they moved.

"Have fun last night then Juicy?" Bobby questioned as they took their seats round the table.

"Not really." He answered honestly.

"It's all right, I'm sure you'll get it up next time." Tig laughed from across the table.

"Fuck off Tig."

"Ohhhh touchy today." Tig laughed again.

"C'mon lad, only a bit of joking between brothers." Chibs patted Juice on the shoulder.

"Yeah... Guess I'm just not in the mood."

"Didn't hear from Roxy then?" Chibs questioned.

"Not since yesterday afternoon when she told me she 'needed time' and 'couldn't justify what we'd done' and some other shit. She hasn't been home. Don't think she plans to go back either."

"Yeah well, we got bigger shit to worry about now brother. Tara goes through with a deal and none of us will be going home." Tig responded seriously.

Juice nodded and sparked up a smoke to cool off. "Guess you're right."

They waited, mostly in silence, for Jax to come upstairs and when he did the tension in the room intensified.

They settled and waited for him to begin. He told them how Tara had a meeting with the DA but never showed.

"Means she's out there, deciding where to jump." Bobby the voice of reason.

"Which means we need to find her first... To convince her the club is depending on her." Tig added at everyone's looks.

"To convince her not to rat." Jax corrected.

"And if we can't?" Juice questioned. They needed to be clear on what was going to happen.

Everyone looked to Jax. "Then we do what we have to do."

That was not the answer Juice wanted to hear. He wanted to know that they'd look after her, they wouldn't 'play god' as Roxy put it. And if Jax was prepared to kill the love of his life then what would that mean for Roxy, or any of the rest of them? What if they fucked up or did something? If it came down to it Juice could never be expected to kill Roxy.

"We will make that call when we know more." Bobby again. "Right now we just need to find out where the hell she is."

Jax sighed. "She has no family here."

"The administrator. At the hospital. She's tight with her."

Jax nodded and they started going through everyone who could possibly know or help Tara.

xxx xxx

Juice and Bobby had been tasked with sitting on Tara's lawyer and had been watching his office for two hours now.

"Let's play follow the lawyer." Bobby said as they watched the lawyer start his car.

"I'd rather play let's run over the lawyer." Juice retorted. His dark mood tainting his attitude.

"It's still early."

Juice cranked the van and took off after the car, following a safe distance behind him through the town.

They eventually followed him to a park in Lodi where the lawyer parked up and waited. Juice killed the engine, parked in a spot on the other side of the park.

They watched as Tara joined him, Abel running to play on the play equipment. The lawyer and Tara only talked briefly and when he left Tara stayed to watch Abel play. Juice still hated her for what she'd done with the fake miscarriage to him and Roxy. And now she was toying with all their lives now just to get her own way. Plenty of Old Ladies left their Old Men and took the kids with them. Tig's Old Lady for example. Why couldn't she just do it the easy way instead of taking them all down with her.

A short while later the rest of the guys arrived at the park. Tara looked petrified as the group of bikers approached. Happy and Bobby took Abel to play on the swings and Jax passed Thomas to Juice. He'd only held Thomas a handful of times and so he enjoyed playing with him on some ride on hippo. His heart clenched at the thought of Roxy, and the fact he could have been doing this with Gabriel.

He watched on as Tara and Jax had a heated and emotional discussion until, eventually, Jax took her hand.

A few moments later Jax called them back together.

"You guys take the boys to the ice cream shop. I got shit to do with Tara."

"What's happening boss?" Happy asked.

"I'll fill you in later."

So they got the boys in the car and headed back to Charming. Juice enjoyed the peace and quiet of driving the empty van, Bobby having gone in the car with the boys. He called Roxy again with no answer, she wasn't picking up burner calls either, screening calls through message bank he imagined.

When he pulled up at Scoops he headed out the back for a smoke, thinking of calling her again. But instead he had a message.

This isn't really what I call having time away Juice. Stop calling me every five minutes, all it's doing is pissing me off. I buried my father today in a shitty prison grave so forgive me if I don't pick up your million and one phone calls. - R

Juice clenched the phone in his hand and watched as the flimsy plastic screen cracked, allowing the plasma beneath to bleed and disrupt the light. She'd never want him again. This was it. Gone were her sweet and sometimes sexy messages. Replaced instead by these messages telling him to leave her. He couldn't give her time, he wanted her now. He couldn't wait for a week, or two, without knowing she was coming back to him.

He fumbled with the keypad on the cheap burner and sent her one final message.

I'm sorry. I won't call again. But just know I'll be waiting for you when you decide you want me. I'm not giving up on us. I love you. - JC

He stubbed out his smoke and figured he best make his way back inside, not that he wanted to face his brothers. Least of all Jax, he's the one who got them into this mess with his quest for vengeance.

xxx xxx

The guys were playing with the boys, trying to keep them happy while they waited for Tara to get back. Bobby had filled them in on Jax's plan so now they waited. The tension in the room was thick, and juice had gone to seek advice on Roxy. But Chibs wouldn't engage with Juice and neither would Bobby. So he threw himself into a booth and stared longingly at his broken phone once more.

Unser arrived shortly after, worried about Gemma, desperate to escape the tension at Scoops Juice offered to go find her. He stood to leave and Jax followed him to the door, Juice opening it for him to leave first.

Deciding he best get the farewell over with Juice pulled Jax in for a hug.

"Gunna miss you brother."

But through the embrace he was met with the words "you betrayed me." As Jax kissed him on the cheek.

Juice blood ran cold and he saw the threat clear in his eyes as they broke apart. He had said something to Nero. Despite Gemma's assurances he hadn't this was clearly about Darvany.

Juice couldn't think to form a response, his mind on overdrive now. Jax cut off his glare and turned to go back inside while Juice stayed rooted to the spot.

How could this happen? He was a dead man walking he had no idea that he had confirmed Nero's suspicions surrounding Darvany's death, no idea that Nero had confronted Jax, their business relationship now in tatters had caused beef in the streets and for the Sons. All because he couldn't keep his mouth shut when he was high.

Juice mounted his bike and began his search for Gemma. First stop being Jax's house. His surroundings were a blur as he raced the familiar path to Jax's house, nothing making sense in his head, anxiety and panic rising from within, threatening to take over his consciousness. He was operating now on pure adrenalin, his body in fight or flight mode. The only thing keeping him upright on his bike was the task to find Gemma. He supposed he didn't have to do it now, maybe he should run? But he couldn't do that. He couldn't leave Charming, Roxy, the MC. He needed to work this out. But first he'd find Gemma. Prove he could be trusted, maybe she'd help him with Roxy and with Jax. He didn't care. At this point this menial task kept him sane.

He rounded the bend into the street and slowed as he approached the house. Roosevelt's squad car was parked out front, him leaning against it. But Unser's truck was in the drive. Juice parked his bike up behind it and met Roosevelt in the drive.

"I'm looking for Gemma."

"She's not here. I just dropped Tara off." Roosevelt answered.

"She took Unser's truck."

Before Roosevelt could respond they heard glass shatter inside, looking towards each other before running in. Roosevelt got there first, Juice just behind him, the scene that met their eyes unbelievable.

Tara lay prone on the floor next to the wall, her head pooling blood. There was a bloody crack in the dry wall where she'd clearly been rammed head first. Gemma was crouched next to her sobbing.

"Had to be done, had to be done. She did this, she did this."

"What did you do?" Roosevelt asked, not having had a chance to check Tara's pulse.

"She made a deal."

"No she didn't, Jax did. He gave himself up to protect her." He groaned. "I gotta call this in."

Juice had been staring at the scene in front of him, smashed dishes, upturned chairs, blood covering Gemma and Tara's clothes, evidence of their fight, but Roosevelt's words pulled him from his reverie.

Before he could act, however, Gemma pulled her gun from her pants and shot Roosevelt in the chest, dropping him to the floor at Juice's feet.

"Holy shit Gemma! What the fuck have you done?!"

Gemma was looking in Juice's direction but her gaze was going straight through him. She was clearly in shock, unable to process what was happening.

The noise in Juice's head calmed quietly as he realised what he had to do. He may be on the outs with the club but he had to do this. He couldn't let them take Gemma away from Roxy as well. Losing two parents in one week would kill her. Maybe if he saved Gemma it would cancel out killing Clay.

So he approached Gemma, hand outstretched, a lifeline amid chaos, and helped her to her feet, gingerly accepting her embrace.

"We gotta go Gem."

She looked into his eyes before nodding slowly. So Juice took her hand and led her back out to the truck, not sparing a second look at Tara, laying very still on the kitchen floor.


	90. Chapter 90

**A/N: omg chapter 90! Can you believe it?! Anyways just a short one for now, more coming ASAP I promise.**

 **Glad you're enjoying the twists, hope you like what's coming too!**

Juice had Gemma follow him to his house, knowing Roxy would still be at Harley's. They pulled the truck and his bike into the garage and shut door.

She didn't say anything as he led her to the shower, she waited calmly as he brought her a fresh jumper, a pair of Roxy's jeans, and instructed her to clean herself up and give him her bloodied clothes to burn.

When that was done Juice waited for her in the living room, anxiously pacing as he tried to come up with a way out of this for both of them. Gemma came through, thinking clearly enough to come up with a plan.

"You can't tell anyone about this Juice. Not even Roxy."

"Got no one to tell. Club wants me dead and I'm sure Roxy does too."

Gemma scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Where will you go?"

"Fuck knows Gem. The club and Roxy is all I got in the world. No where to run or hide."

Gemma jumped to her sense, a plan forming in her mind. She began pulling a key off her key rings and handed it to Juice.

"Pack a bag, bring what you need and I'll hide you at Wendy's. At least until we figure out what to do with you."

Juice looked at the key in Gemma's outstretched hand, it was still close to Charming but it was his only option right now.

"Ok Gem." He took it and hurried to his room to start packing.

He'd seen where Roxy had obviously been to collect some clothes. There were various items littering the bed and her drawers weren't closed properly. He sighed and pulled his run bag from the closet, running his thumb gingerly over the reaper embroidered onto the black canvas. But before he could get too bogged down in his thoughts he forced himself to function. He started grabbing everything he'd need to go for a few days; several tshirts, undies, spare pants, socks, toiletries, and his deodorant. He couldn't find his deodorant in the bathroom but eventually spotted it on Roxy's bedside table. He smiled knowing she liked to spray it on his jumper and wear it when he was away. She'd come to Stockton on more than one visitation smelling like him. He grabbed the can and placed it in the bag alongside his neatly folded clothes. He took one last look around to ensure he had everything then stopped.

He pulled the engagement ring from his kutte pocket and sat it on Roxy's bedside table, where his deodorant can had sat. He moved over to the dresser and pulled out the pen and pad he had stashed there and began writing.

Roxy,

I'm so sorry everything panned out this way. I've had to go, I fucked shit up with the club and I don't think I'm welcome here much longer. It was an accident, but an accident that has obviously caused some trouble for the club so I think it's best I leave until I can figure it out.

I'm sorry we couldn't fix things and I hate myself for being part of the Clay thing and hurting you like that.

I hope I can see you again, and that when I do you're wearing my ring. Probably a long shot but a man can dream right?

I love you, always have, always will. Look after yourself and be happy.

Juan Carlos xx

He folded the note and wrote her name so she'd see it standing up when she walked in the room.

Turning around he saw her pyjama top peeking out from under her pillow, it was the same one he'd pulled from the washing basket the night he'd come back here after the Crystal shit. Taking it as a sign, Juice pulled it out and gingerly tucked it into his bag and made his way out to Gemma.

"I'll drop you at Wendy's. Can't have anyone seeing your bike if you're serious about hiding."

"Yeah. I am. Need to figure it out. Find out the damage and the consequences."

"Ok baby, then let's go." She held a hand out to him, much like Juice had done at Jax's. But, unlike his hand, Gemma's was shaking and she was clearly not as strong as she was pretending to be right now. But he needed the lifeline right now, no matter how shaky.

xxx xxx

Roxy was staying at Harley's and as you'd expect they had been drinking again. Juice had stopped calling her after his last message and she was finally able to relax.

On further thinking, and after calming down some, she was starting to feel like perhaps she had over reacted. She couldn't just forget that he had been involved in killing her father but she could slowly forgive, right?

The girls were both startled when there was a loud banging on the door. Harley raced over for her gun but before she could pull the safety Happy's gruff voice came through the door.

"Open up ladies." He demanded as he banged again.

Harley tossed the gun back in the drawer and moved to answer the door.

"Bout time you showed up Lowman. Where you been?"

"Pack your bags." Was his only response as he scanned the room. "Juice here?"

Roxy shook her head. "No, why?"

Happy just grunted and motioned for the girls to hurry up. "Move it."

"Uhh why are we packing our bags you bossy son of a bitch?" Harley crossed her arms over her chest.

Happy moved so he was standing directly in front of her and curled his fingers round her hips. The move was so intimate and caring it made Roxy's heart jump, missing Juice.

"Because I said so little girl. I'll explain on the way, move it."

Harley nodded and Roxy followed her to the bedroom to grab their stuff. When they'd packed their bits they came back to the living room to find Happy on the phone.

"Nah, he's not here... I don't fucking know Chibs... Ask her yourself... Yeah... 20 minutes." Hap flicked the burner shut and motioned for the girls to head out the front.

Rat was waiting by the van, ready to help them with their bags. Eventually, after scoping out the street and back tracking a few times they were on the highway. Any time they had tried to ask a question before that was met with a 'shut up' by Happy as he had to concentrate.

Finally Roxy couldn't take the secrecy any more, noting they were on their way to the cabin she finally spoke up.

"Just tell us what the fuck is happening!"

Happy glared at her through the rearview mirror before answering. "Tara was attacked at her and Jax's house. Whoever it was killed Roosevelt and left her for dead. Dunno who it is yet so we gotta keep you guys safe. Lockdown."

Roxy gasped, she was very hurt and pissed off with Tara for her actions but she never actually wanted her to die. "What happened to Tara?" Roxy braced herself for the worst news.

"She'd been shot, head smashed in, lost shit load of blood and lots of head injuries. Jax found her, she's at St. Thomas but I dunno any more."

"Oh my god. Poor Jax." Roxy let a tear escape, feeling awful now for the way she'd treated Tara the last few days.

"That's not all. He's been arrested."

"What? Why?"

"Was making a deal with that DA in return for Tara's freedom so she wouldn't have to rat on the club. DA finds him there with her beaten to hell... Obviously arrests him thinking the worst."

This was all too much for Roxy to take in, Harley squeezed her hand as they continued on their route to the cabin. It want until they pulled on to the dirt track that she remembered Happy's phone call.

"Why were you looking for Juice before? Is he ok?"

Happy and Rat shared a look but neither looked back at Roxy.

"Chibs will fill you in later."

"What does that mean? Happy? He's ok right? Please, tell me he's ok?" The fact they were looking for him meant he at least wasn't dead or hurt... She hoped.

"He's not hurt, that we know of. But Chibs will tell you when he gets back from the hospital."

That wasn't good enough for Roxy, she opened her phone to try call him, but no signal. Damn cabin.

xxx xxx

Juice looked around Wendy's empty apartment. The silence was deafening and before long the thoughts in his mind were roaring over each other to be heard.

You're a fuck up.

You've ruined the only family you've ever had.

You helped a murderer tonight.

Your fiancée left you because you're useless.

You're going to be alone forever now.

Why does everything you touch turn to shit.

Juice turned the television on in the hopes of drowning out the noise. He wished Gemma had stayed with him, but it was too dangerous for her. They'd come up with their cover story and now she needed to go enact it. Which left Juice in the apartment by himself until she returned in the morning.

Juice looked through the kitchen, focusing on the tins in the cupboards, pasta packets half opened in a tub, wilting vegetables in the fridge. He shuddered with the thought of eating any of this food.

Maybe if he cleared up he could clear the thoughts in his mind too. Order everything, where it is supposed to be. Then everything else will fall into place. How can there be peace in his life when there is such mess in these cupboards.

Eventually, a few hours later, Juice had successfully rearranged the food in Wendy's kitchen. It was now grouped together in like minded products, alphabetically. He'd messed around grouping food by meal, then colour, then type before settling on packaging. So tins with tins, packets with packers, and so on. He felt calmer now knowing that at least when he was in the kitchen there was order. Not like at his house, but order none the less.

He thought back to Roxy taking her shoes off the first time he brought her home. She respected his habits from the start, even while he was inside. When he came home from Stockton he had been anxious she may have changed everything but when he stepped into his house it was almost as he had left it.

Juice decided to lay on the sofa, he'd pulled his gun, smokes, and weed out of his run bag before tidying it into the closet. He sat the gun on the coffee table and meticulously laid out his smokes along side it.

He looked around some more, coming to the conclusion that this place needed scrubbing from top to bottom. At least it gave him something to do while also calming him down.

Now that he was still the thoughts could be heard once more. Roxy was a star topic, one he wished for better reasons. He wondered what she was doing now. He would have called her but Gemma told him it would put her in danger right now, if the club was truly looking for him they'd use her to get to him, it made no odds she was Jax's sister when she was a rat's Old Lady.

And he knew that. Once again he'd put Roxy in the line of fire.

He sighed and sparked up a joint before inhaling deeply. Maybe getting stoned would help and he'd eventually be able to drift to sleep, dreaming all the while that the back of the sofa was really Roxy's body pressed lovingly against his and blocking the images of Tara's lifeless body on the kitchen floor.

xxx xxx

"Gun shot wound to the back, obviously whoever came at her did it from behind. Extensive head injuries, rib fracture, collapsed lung, facial fractures. Docs don't know if she'll pull through, and even if she does there's no guarantee she'll wake up or have normal brain functioning. For now it's just wait and see how surgery goes."

Roxy shook her head as Chibs explained the extent of Tara's injuries. "Who would do such a thing?"

"We are lookin into it. But for now you ladies are staying here and Gemma and the boys are under watch too."

"Why can't we stay at Gemma's too?" Harley asked.

Happy, Chibs, Bobby, and Tig all shared looks, but it was Bobby who answered, wearing the president patch in Jax's absence.

"We need to find Juice. And until we do, you two are on lockdown."

"What the hell? Why?" Roxy demanded. Tears clouding her vision now.

"Jax's orders. Juice betrayed the club, we need to find him and Jax doesn't want you either helping Juice or running off with him." Tig soothed.

"But, what did he do? He wouldn't have done anything to hurt the club. You know that Chibs." Roxy pleaded. Petrified for his safety now.

"Fact is he did lass." Chibs said through his teeth.

Roxy stood and ran over to the door, pulling her phone out as she went, but Chibs was fast and raced to snatch the phone out of her hand.

"Give me my phone Chibs." Roxy growled.

"I'm sorry lass. No can do."

Roxy was going to attempt pulling it from his hands, but that would be childish. She turned to face Harley and saw Happy pulling her phone too. She slapped him and stormed over past Roxy and exited to the front veranda. Happy looked stunned for a second but passed the phone to Chibs, rolled his shoulders and stomped off out the back door.

Roxy turned on her heel and went to sit out by Harley on the wooden steps. Harley offered her a smoke and allowed Roxy to cuddle against her side.

"What the hell Lowman thinks he's playin at I don't know. I ain't his Old Lady. Treat me like some dumbass sweet butt. Taking my phone like that." Harley was swearing under her breath while she ranted.

"He's just following orders. Dick move though." She blew out a long stream of smoke as she looked up into the dark night. There was no cloud cover which meant it was really cold, but Roxy could at least see the stars. She sighed as she wondered where Juice was, just hoping that he was safe.

After a while Harley was shivering too much and decided to go in and heat up, see what the sleeping arrangements were for the two girls. Roxy had on Juice's hoodie, sprayed with his deodorant as always, the cuffs were far too long but she pushed them up when she wanted a smoke. She contemplated possible escape routes along with a few ways to make the guys go easy on Juice but she had a feeling both plans would be futile.

She jumped when she felt the thud of boots on the decking behind her and turned to see Tig slowly making his way over.

"I come in peace." He was offering a joint.

"Sure." She gestured to Harley's empty spot next to her.

Tig sat down with a groan and pulled his lighter out to spark up.

"How long am I staying here? I have work on Monday you know."

"Dunno doll. We don't know where all this is at with Tara and then... Juice."

"What did he do Tig? Surely it wasn't bad enough to be hunted down for."

Tig's gaze grew steely as he met Roxy's eyes. "Look I don't know 100% of the ins and outs. But he singlehandedly trashed a working relationship for the club by running his mouth off about something Jax trusted him with. It's a stupid but deadly mistake." The warning in Tig's eyes was clear, the cold blue tone of his irises highlighting that threat.

"You guys make me sick Tig. Playing god with everyone's lives. I hate it. It's bullshit and you know it. Tomorrow I'm outta here and you guys can either take me home or shoot me. I don't really give a shit either way."

Tig stood alongside her as she made her impassioned little speech. "Roxy, I'd be very careful how you play this. Your Old Man is a rat now. And usually their Old Ladies are cast away, not protected like you are tonight. You're lucky you're Jax's sister or you wouldn't be here."

Roxy's eyes clouded over with tears. Her whole childhood Tig had been the one helping Gemma to pick up her father's slack. He'd gone to school events, watched dance concerts and shitty school plays, vetted boyfriends, and taught her how to drive. But here he was now saying that if it wasn't due to some obligation to her brother he wouldn't give a shit what she did. That he'd happily watch her die for her Old Man's sins.

Before Tig could apologise for his words coming out wrong Roxy had shaken her head, thrown his joint at him and stormed back inside the cabin in search of Harley.

He didn't care about her. No one did. No one except Juice. And now he was gone.


	91. Chapter 91

**A/N: thanks for the reviews! So enjoying writing this!**

Juice jumped as he heard banging on the door. He rolled off the sofa, grabbed his gun and made his way to the door. Looking through the peep hole he saw that it was Gemma and hurriedly let her in.

"So what's happening?" He asked the minute she crossed the threshold.

"Give me a second." She was back to her usual snappy self as if the night before had never happened.

She placed the bags down on the kitchen bench and turned to face him. She noted the bags under his eyes but could see he'd changed into pyjamas as he was wearing sweat pants and a tank top. Gemma gestured to the sofa and took a seat, Juice following her lead.

"Well Tara's in St. Thomas, they've done some operations but-"

"Wait? Tara's alive?!" Juice couldn't see it, there was so much blood, how would she have survived that.

"Yeah. They've fixed the gunshot but there's a lot of swelling on her brain." Gemma said matter of factly as if she wasn't responsible for this.

Juice felt awful then having not checked her. Even if he'd rung in an anonymous tip to have the ambulance there maybe she'd have been saved more. He didn't even know Gemma had shot her.

"Jax? Roxy?"

"They arrested Jax last night when he found her." Juice gulped, finding Roxy like that would kill him. "The guys have Roxy and Harley on lockdown. They're looking for you."

"Fuck. She's gunna be pissed."

"From what I heard, yes she's pissed alright. But you can't look for her Juice. Only puts her in more danger. And you." Gemma definitely didn't want him found by the club. It was the only way to keep her secret safe.

"So what are you gunna tell Jax?"

Gemma sighed. "Nothing. Tara, if she recovers fully, won't remember the attack." She rolled her eyes at Juice's sceptical look. "I did what I had to do to keep my family safe Juice. I thought she was ratting on the club. You wanna be in prison with all them while you've got a target on your back?"

Juice shook his head. He couldn't believe how callous Gemma was being but he didn't want to worry about that now.

"Look you can hide out here for a bit longer but you need to find out where to go Juice. Start thinking. I've got to go and get the boys."

Juice sighed and nodded, he had some serious thinking to do. "Ok, just promise me you'll look after Roxy?"

"Of course. But don't you worry about her now. I'm not gunna ask why the club is after you Juice but if you are that worried about mayhem you can't drag Roxy into it."

"Yeah. Yeah of course."

Gemma patted him on the back and got up to leave. She gave Juice one more small smile before heading to the door.

"There's plenty healthy food in there, I know what you're like. Just look after yourself." And with that she was gone.

Juice sighed and looked down at his gun on the table.

Yeah. Look after himself.

xxx xxx

Roxy and Harley had spent the night in the spare room at the cabin. The guys hadn't bothered them after they went to bed and Roxy was grateful. She felt like she was treading on egg shells and that they didn't trust her. That royally pissed her off. These men had known her her whole life, before she'd even met Juice. And now they held her in such disdain for his mistake.

She prayed Juice was somewhere safe and vowed she'd find him somehow.

Eventually her stomach was rumbling too much to ignore and she braved herself to venture out for some food. Harley refused to leave the room so Roxy said she'd bring her something back.

Entering the living room she saw Happy, Chibs, Quinn, Montez, and Tig sitting round the coffee table.

"Morning doll." Tig offered.

Roxy glared at him before turning into the kitchen to search for some food. Of course there was nothing. These guys really knew how to look after you.

"We need food."

Chibs stood and walked over to her. "Ok, we'll send Montez out for you."

Roxy really wanted to go out too and see what was happening in the world. "Yeah? That's nice of you. Well we need some tampons, Montez gunna buy them too?"

Montez looked like shocked, clearly uncomfortable with that idea.

"Look, Rox, I know you're pissed off but this will be a lot easier if you play along. Ok?"

"Fuck you Chibs. Play along? While you hunt down my Old Man and plot to kill him?" Roxy couldn't help the attitude rolling off her.

But Chibs crowded her against the kitchen benchtop. "Listen here Roxy, this shit goes way beyond you. You can give us all the attitude you like but this is club business and that's it."

Roxy looked up into his hard eyes. She couldn't believe this was the same man Juice was so close with.

"I feel like I don't even know you right now Chibs. Juice looks up to you, and right now I can't see why." She shouldered him as she walked past. "I have work Monday. If I don't show up they'll probably be worried. So someone will need to take me to and from. I also need to stop by my house for clothes. So figure it out."

Roxy slammed the door to the bedroom before turning and leaning her back against it.

"No food?"

"Nope. Told them we needed some tampons. Montez didn't look too happy with that idea but they won't take us."

"Why? You on you're period?" Harley asked.

"Nope but thought they might take us then. No luck."

"Let me talk to Happy. See what he says."

"Yeah. I've told them I need to go to work Monday. So hopefully they'll take me."

"See how we go right? I'll go talk to Happy."

xxx xxx

The guys didn't take Roxy or Harley anywhere until Monday. Chibs had allowed her phone back so she could call Joey, supervised, to tell him she'd be in on Tuesday. Harley had to go help Lyla with Cara Cara which was being reopened as RedWoody so they'd allowed Roxy to go to work too. Begrudgingly however, as it would be hard to monitor her on the road. But the threat against Juice's safety ensured she wouldn't try find him with a tail on her.

Monday evening they took her by her and Juice's house to get more clothes and she would be relocated to Gemma's for monitoring. Harley being allowed back to hers with Happy to ensure she didn't help somehow with Juice.

No one had spilled the beans about Juice's transgression yet which was annoying Roxy no end, but she had to get on with things and just pray they worked out, or at least give her time to formulate a plan.

Montez checked the house for her while Rat waited with Roxy at the door. They were still looking for Juice but had yet to see him. Tacoma were sitting on the house and the weed shop and hadn't seen him, which Roxy took as a good sign. Montez gave the all clear and Roxy and Rat entered in to the living room.

"Wait there. And don't make yourselves comfortable." No way she'd let them relax in Juice's house when they were out to kill him.

Moving through to the bedroom Roxy tried to stifle a sob remembering the last time she spoke to him, telling him to leave her alone. She wanted nothing more than to tell him she loved him now.

Roxy could tell the second she entered their bedroom that Juice had been there. His deodorant can was gone and on further inspection his drawers were empty. Sitting where the deodorant can once was, however, was a piece of paper with Roxy's name on it. When she picked it up her engagement ring was underneath.

Roxy couldn't stop the sobs from escaping now, seeing his love for her written on the page. She picked up the engagement ring and studied the sparkles, a man definitely could dream she thought as she slid it on her finger.

Roxy folded the letter back again and put it in her bag before grabbing her clothes. She was definitely going to find him and sort this shit out. Even if it meant running away and leaving the club.

xxx xxx

Of course the guys noticed the ring as soon as she got back to Gemma's.

"He was there?" Chibs demanded.

"No. I checked the house." Montez defended.

"Roxy?" Chibs turned his glare to her.

"No he wasn't there."

"Then how'd you get that?" He pointed to her ring finger.

"He left it for me." She said quietly.

Chibs moved to her bag and emptied it, looking for anything that would give a sign of her being in contact with him. Finding the note in amongst her underwear.

"Hey! Do you mind?!" She tried to rip the note from his hand but again Chibs was quicker.

He looked over the note and studied Roxy's face for a second, tears threatening to spill over. He sighed and passed the note to her before turning to Tig.

"He's been there. But he's gone now. Told her he's running but not where."

Roxy was openly crying now while Gemma rubbed her back. "I think it's time you lot go."

Chibs nodded as Roxy curled into her mother's arms.

"Aye. She'll be watched though. Montez escorts her to and from work."

"No. I don't know Montez. This is bullshit."

Chibs groaned. "Fine. Rat you're on her."

He turned and left motioning for Quinn, Montez, and Tig to follow. Leaving Roxy, Gemma, and Rat in the kitchen.

xxx xxx

Juice had been hiding in Wendy's apartment for 6 days now and was going out of his mind with worry. He couldn't stop thinking about Tara and how maybe she could have been helped if he'd just checked her. But he had no idea she could even survive that type of attack. He felt like an idiot and it didn't help curb the voices in his head.

By now he had fully rearranged Wendy's apartment. The furniture hadn't been right before, this way was better. More organised. It helped sate his compulsions for a while. But yesterday he decided to clean the apartment top to bottom. When the place smelt fully like bleach he started to feel calmer.

The only things he could do to pass the time were working out and watch re runs on tv and it was not helping him stay calm. By now his hair was a fine stubble over his head and he was sure he had the biggest bags under his eyes. Between the ever swirling voices in his head and the worry of being found in the night had him staying up all night, only sleeping in short bursts before the ever present panic in his chest woke him up.

He was no closer to finding somewhere to go or a plan to right things with the club. So here he stayed. Cleaning and working out.

xxx xxx

It was Roxy's first full day in the office since everything went down. Tuesday was ok, she was on the road with Rat following not far behind. He at least had the courtesy to not scare her clients. But today was office day and he was parked out front and she had to check in every couple of hours while she had a smoke.

Joey noticed him at lunch time and pulled her aside in the kitchen.

"Is everything ok Roxy? You're really quiet and I've noticed the ever present bike in our car park."

Roxy sighed and looked down at her feet, this was probably the end of her job. "I'm ok. Juice is in bad standing with the club. Rat's here to make sure Juice doesn't show up to get me or I don't leave to find him. They've got my phone so I don't know where he is. Uh, I'm sorry to bring this shit to work. I understand if you need me to leave."

Joey grabbed her arm. "No, no it's ok. Do you need some help?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Do you want to call him?"

Roxy's eyes lit up. "Yes! Yes please. I just need to know he's ok."

Joey nodded. "Ok I'll give you my phone, you can go to the interview room and call. But Roxy, are you in danger?"

Roxy considered the question for a moment. Was she in danger? Probably. But she couldn't tell Joey that.

"Yeah, I'm ok. Just need to sort out what's happening."

"Ok. But you know you can tell me if you are. I can help you."

"Thanks Joey. The phone is good for now though."

Joey took her back to the interview room and passed her his phone. "Take all the time you need."

"Thanks Joey. Really. I hate doing this shit. I should have known with my family life having a job was a stupid idea."

"Hey, we can't choose our family right?" He smiled and shut the door, Roxy going over to lock it behind him.

She dialled Juice's personal cell with shaky fingers and waited for it to connect.

It rung out and she tried it again, same thing. She sighed as she sat down at the chair laying her head on the desk. She willed herself not to cry but the promise of finally hearing his voice had been too much.

But then the phone started vibrating in her hand. She noticed the number on called ID and recognised it as a burner number. She hastily answered.

"Hello?"

"Roxy?"

"Oh my god. Juan!" She let a few tears slip. "Are you ok? Why didn't you answer your phone?"

"Uh I'm using a burner. In case the guys were tracking my calls."

"You're joking right? You're the only one knows how to do that."

He chuckled. "It's so good to hear your voice baby. I thought I'd never see you again."

"I know. I'm so sorry for leaving you like that. I uh, I guess I was just in shock. I don't know."

"It's ok. All things considered it's probably the only reaction I should have expected."

"I found your note."

Juice smiled. "Are you wearing it?"

"Of course. I'm so sorry." She looked at the ring sparkling on her finger.

"Don't be."

"Where are you?"

"I can't say. But I'm safe. For now."

Roxy sighed. "Ok. But we're sorting this out. I need to see you."

"I know. I miss you so fucking much. I'm going crazy here."

Roxy sighed. She didn't want him to dwell on it. "Look just please stay strong. Get yourself somewhere safe and I'll break away somehow and meet you."

"Guys have you under watch?" Roxy didn't know he'd been in contact with Gemma, for obvious reasons. So he had to play dumb.

"Yeah. Not allowed home. Escorts at work. The whole bit. They really are after you huh?"

"Yeah. I fucked up big time."

"What did you do J?"

Juice sighed. "After the whole Clay shit Bobby sent me to Diosa. Told me to get high and get my dick sucked. I promise I wasn't going to. I just didn't want to be alone so I figured I'd get high, maybe have a massage I don't really know what I was thinking. I just missed you. But uh, I took a little too much and was pretty fucked up. Nero and Gemma had to help me. I uh, over shared on a few things to Nero that don't exactly paint Jax in a favourable light. I guess Nero pulled him up on it."

"Oh Juan." Roxy didn't really know what else to say to that confession. "What was it?"

"It don't matter Roxy. Right now I just need to figure out what to do."

"Might be hard. Do you know what happened to Tara?"

Again he had to play dumb. "No what's happened?"

"She was attacked on Friday night. She's stable now, but not out of the woods. She's still unconscious but they arrested Jax so he hasn't even seen her. At least you don't have to worry about him hunting you right now. They're a bit preoccupied with finding out who hurt Tara. It was really brutal. They're not sure she'll wake up and what damage is done if she does."

"Wow, that's intense. Are you ok?"

"Yeah, just sad I was so mean to her before. She was just desperate. I know she didn't do it to hurt us, still painful but not her intention I'm sure. God I was so mean to you and her and now I can't apologise properly."

"You don't need to apologise babe. Tara will come good I'm sure."

There was a knock on the door. "Yeah, maybe. I gotta go. But I'll try call you again on Monday?"

"Yeah. I'll call back from the burner."

"Ok. I love you, I promise we'll figure this out." Another, louder knock now.

"Ok. No matter what happens just know I love you."

"I do, bye."

"Bye Rox."

Roxy locked the phone and shoved it in her pocket before going to see who it was. Joey stood on the other side of the door shifting uncomfortably.

"That guy is in reception. Says he needs to see you."

Roxy handed his phone back, thanking god it was a locked building and Rat couldn't just wander up. "Ok. I missed my last check in I guess. Wanna join me for a smoke?"

"Sure."

They grabbed their smokes from the office and headed down stairs and outside, where sure enough, Rat was waiting impatiently. Roxy made her way over to him.

"God sake Rat, I'm working here."

He knew to expect the attitude from her but he held his hands up. "Hey I'm just following orders. I dunno what Juice has done but I got strict orders here."

"I know." Rat was probably most sympathetic to the situation out of all of them but he was still loyal to the club. "Just got caught up with stuff. I'm having a smoke with my boss ok. Don't freak out."

Rat nodded and watched them go over to the smokers area, sighing at his current club duty. He liked Juice and he really didn't know what he'd done to cop Jax's wrath but it must have been bad. He just hoped there was a way out of it for him and Roxy.


	92. Chapter 92

**A/N: so glad you're loving it! Would be pretty boring without this drama huh? Lol**

 **Loving the reviews and hearing what you think!**

"I'm so bored." Roxy complained to Unser. It had been nine long days since everything went down, she'd been able to call Juice at work on Monday and Tuesday but being Wednesday now she couldn't call and she was hanging out for her next chance on Friday.

"Well I gotta go pick Wendy up from rehab if you wanna come?"

"Anything that doesn't involve a patch."

Unser had been left in charge of Roxy, he had strict instructions from Chibs on keeping her in his sights at all time. She still didn't have her phone which was doing her head in but she went along with it.

They made their way to the rehab and Roxy waited in the truck while Unser signed Wendy out. She sat in the front seat squished in between Wendy and Unser when they got back to the truck.

"Thought the plan was to put in 90 days?" She asked Wendy.

"I think 9 is enough. I was just so worried about Abel. He and Thomas need someone steady while Tare recovers and Gemma can't offer that. No offence Roxy."

"Nah it's cool. I know what you mean. She's been a bit off recently."

They rode mostly in silence, only breaking it to discuss Tara's recovery prospects. So far there hadn't been much change. She was still in a drug induced coma while the swelling on her brain went down, which could take a while. Until then they wouldn't know the real extent of the damage but the doctors weren't overly optimistic she'd make a full recovery.

Unser pulled up outside her apartment and offered to go up with her, but she refused their help, her apartment having been left in a mess in her own drug induced state.

Juice didn't hear the apartment door open, he'd been in the shower after his early morning workout. But when he came out to the kitchen, wrapping a towel round his waist he got the fright of his life seeing Wendy inspecting the kitchen.

This was not good.

"Gemma let me stay here." He stuttered.

"I think you should get changed. Then you can explain this to me." She gestured round the apartment, which was definitely not in the same state she left it.

Juice nodded dumbly and scurried back to the spare room to change. He slung on his track pants and a black tshirt and joined her in the living room.

"So why would Gemma let you stay here?"

"I'm in a situation. She said you were gunna be gone a few months."

"Well I'm back. And as much as I appreciate you tidying up, and for some reason rearranging all my furniture, you gotta go."

"I can't." At her look he continued. "I'm hiding. From the club."

"Oh shit."

"It's complicated."

"No it's simple. I live here. You don't."

"They'll kill me."

"Oh Juice." Wendy was silent for a moment before Juice joined her at the dining table.

"Look, I'm sorry. I'll find another place. Can I at least wait till it's dark?"

"Oh, Jesus. Yeah." She grabbed her keys. "I gotta go to county and talk to Jax. Is my car still out back or did you move that too?"

"It's still there." Wendy moved to the door. "Please don't say anything. To Jax."

"I won't." She stopped at the door. "Wait, Roxy doesn't know you're here?"

"No. Have you seen her?"

"She dropped me off with Unser."

Juice's heart twisted knowing she had been so near. "She can't know either. It'll put her in danger with the club. She'll try come find me. She can't." He pleaded, Roxy had been demanding to know where he was with every phone call.

Wendy sighed and bumped her head off the door before looking back to Juice. "Yeah. Sure. I won't see you later." She raised her eyebrows and Juice nodded.

"Yeah, thanks Wendy."

She locked the door behind her as she left leaving Juice alone once again.

"Shit." Now he had to find somewhere to go, by tonight. He had nowhere to go and no way to get there.

xxx xxx

Juice was resting watching Animal Planet trying to come up with some plan for this evening when he heard someone outside the door, as usual he grabbed his gun and aimed it at the door as Gemma pushed her way in.

"Jesus." She scared the shit out of him every time she came by.

"You told Wendy I was hiding you from the club?" She was straight to it. "What else?"

"That they want me dead." He defended.

"Shit."

"She was gunna kick me out. I bought myself till tonight."

"Alright. Look. I'll take care of Wendy, and you're not gunna have to leave tonight. But you gotta go soon. Jax is out."

"Ok. I'll figure it out." He sat down on the sofa again, relaxing slightly.

"You've had over a week to figure it out sweetheart."

"I just have to get my cash from the weed shop."

"No. Tacoma is still sitting on it. 24/7. Look I'll pull together some cash. Enough to get you out of town. Go to Idaho, Montana, somewhere there isn't a charter. Things will calm down here and I'll get your money from Clear Passages, and send it to ya."

"Yeah. Ok."

Gemma nodded and moved to the door to leave. "Need anything."

"No." He watched her open the door then called out. "What about Roxy?"

She sighed and sat next to him on the sofa. "No way she can get out at the moment. Too risky. I'm afraid it's gunna be a while until you can see her again."

Juice nodded. "I'm just goin a bit crazy here Gem. She usually helps me out with all that."

"Well right now you gotta help yourself. Ok?"

"Yeah, yeah ok."

And with that Gemma left and all was quiet once again.

xxx xxx

Wendy arrived back at Gemma's, joining Roxy and Unser just in time for lunch.

"Gemma said it was maybe better I stay here for a bit while I recover and Jax said I can help with the boys too so that's a plus."

"You're not worried about what Tara might say about that?"

Wendy shrugged her shoulders. "We had been working on me spending time with Abel before all this shit happened. Maybe we can get back to that."

"Yeah, maybe." Unser had taken Roxy by the hospital after dropping Wendy off earlier.

Tara looked terrible, she was so small and pale in her hospital bed, covered in tubes and breathing apparatus. They'd debated taking the boys in to see her but now Roxy had been she was glad they decided against taking them. It would have been too scary for them.

Roxy had been surprised with the news of Jax being let out but she'd yet to talk to him. He didn't want to see the boys just yet and she hadn't exactly wanted to seek him out. Roxy knew exactly what she was going to say to Jax when she saw him and it wasn't going to be pretty. He also hadn't been to see Tara yet either.

"Listen I gotta get down to TM after this. You gotta come with Rox."

Roxy rolled her eyes. "Just what I wanted to do for the day."

They made short work of lunch and Unser took her down to the garage. Business was slow since the reopening, but still it was more than Roxy expected. I mean the damn place blew up and the Charming rumour mill was in overdrive about who did it and why. Maybe that's why people were bringing their cars, see if they could gossip a little and dig up the truth.

It did cheer Roxy up when she got to have a smoke with Dog. Since she'd stopped working in TM she hadn't seen him much and he was always a good laugh. They chatted about Lowell and how he was getting on which was good.

But before long she was back organising the office.

"So where you at with Juice?"

Roxy groaned. "I don't know where he is Wayne so if you've been told to find out you can tell em that."

"It's not like that Roxy. Just wanna know how you're holding up."

"Shit. That's how I'm holding up. So much has gone wrong for us and I just want, for once, something to go right. I just wanna be happy, is that so much to ask?" Roxy was breathing unevenly, upset and frustrated with her current situation.

"We'll figure it out."

"I hope so. I don't know how much longer I can last like this. I mean on top of Juice being gone all the men who were family to me are treating me like some leper. Like they don't want anything to do with me. I hate it."

Unser nodded and answered the phone which had been ringing incessantly.

"That was Gemma. You're needed at RedWoody and I'm to go pick up Wendy. We have our orders."

"What's going on at RedWoody?"

"Welcome home party for Jax."

"Right. All I need." Roxy grabbed her things and prepared herself for an afternoon of bullshit.

"Roxy, if I can help you with this I will. I hope you still think of me as family because right now you and your Ma are pretty much the only family I got."

Roxy gave him a hug as they walked over to the truck. "Thanks Wayne."

xxx xxx

"Hey Juice, it's me." Juice heard Wendy come in the flat and went out to meet her. "So I spoke to Gemma and you can stay here for a few days till you figure things out. I'll go stay with her."

"Thank you."

"And I, um, picked you up some fresh fruit and some water and shit. I know Roxy says you're a health nut. She said she misses your weird smoothies." Juice smiled at that. "And some cleaning supplies in case you get bored." She looked pointedly at her spotless apartment.

Juice smiled slightly. "Ok. Thanks."

His head shot up with a knock at the door. "It's Unser. He's my ride, Gemma thought I should leave you the car in case you need to leave in a hurry." Juice made no move to leave the room. "I gotta let him in."

Juice hurried to the bedroom and waited for Unser to leave. Wendy joined him a few seconds later to pack a bag, giving him a quick hug, she always had a soft spot for him, and told him to look after himself before she left.

Juice moved through to the kitchen and decided to reorganise as he put things away, maybe stave off cabin fever that way while he wondered how Roxy was getting on now Jax was out.

xxx xxx

Under Gemma's strict instructions Roxy had to dress up that night, regardless of her inner turmoil. Harley agreed saying at least they could have a few drinks, maybe take her mind off things.

What Gemma hadn't told Roxy is that she was enacting part of her plan that night. She'd asked Juice some questions, fishing for ideas of who the club had beef with right now and decided the Chinese were the best bet. As a result Gemma had told Jax she had driven past his house that night Tara was attacked and saw some Chinese there, and the club believed her, they believed she had gone to look for them but was too late.

So now, watching the Triad members mingling with the escorts and RedWoody stars she picked someone out.

Roxy and Harley, however, spent the night drinking, avoiding all club members aside from Happy and Rat, who were both somewhat sympathetic towards Roxy, though Happy wasn't sympathetic to Juice. Roxy knew how loyal he was to the club, Happy had seriously warped morals and part of that was this insane loyalty to the club, beyond all reason. So she held no hope of changing that. But at least he was nice to her. Well as nice as Happy can be.

Chibs was still being an ass, Tig was trying not to spend much time with Roxy, either out of guilt or disdain she did not know, Rat was being nice, but Quinn, Montez, and West didn't know Roxy all that well so they were indifferent to her plight. To them Juice was a rat and that's it.

Roxy watched as Gemma talked to one of the Triad members at the bar, wondering what her game was. But decided on a few more shots with Harley to keep her going. If she spent too long thinking about things she was bound to get upset and Friday was her phone call day so she just had to wait until then, then she'd get to hear him at least.

xxx xxx

For the first night in the whole time he'd been there Juice retired to the bed to sleep. Maybe he just felt safer knowing that Wendy knew, he didn't know.

He was drifting in and out of sleep when he heard someone let themselves in the house. They had keys so maybe it was Wendy?

Juice grabbed his gun and quietly tip toed out to see who it was. Unser, his back to him, raking through his bag in the closet.

Juice panicked, why was Unser here? He was close to the club, did they send him?

Juice aimed the gun at his head and cocked it, the click of the gun loud in the quiet space. "Get up."

Unser froze and stood slowly, the barrel of Juice's gun cold against his head.

"How we doin son?" Was all he said.

Juice forced him to the bathroom, grabbing a cable from the tv along the way.

"In the bath." He ordered. Unser reluctantly agreed.

"Juice, we don't have to-"

"Shut up!" Juice shouted.

Unser nodded and slowly lowered himself into the bathtub. Juice tied his hands with the cable and when he was happy Unser couldn't move he went back to his bag and grabbed a bandana.

"Juice just-"

"No!" He shoved the bandana in his mouth to gag him. "I just need to think, I can't, I can't-" Juice's breath was laboured as panic started to take hold.

He moved away from Unser and slid down the wall, still holding the gun. What was he going to do? They were coming for him, and Roxy, he didn't know how to help her now. It was only a matter of time.


	93. Chapter 93

**A/N: by the end of this chapter we start on the height of the drama :O exciting, where we go AU from season 7.**

 **Thanks again for reading and reviewing.**

Juice didn't really sleep at all, he was bordering on the edge of a panic attack all night. Eventually at sunrise he left Unser in the bathroom and made his way to the living room. He had to think.

Juice ran through everything in his head as he made a breakfast smoothie. He couldn't kill Unser, no, but he needed to find out what he was doing here. Who sent him?

Juice finished three smokes and half of his smoothie before he decided to set Unser free. He could find out what the deal was and then run if he had to. What did he have to lose? He couldn't stay here forever, he was going crazy.

Juice stubbed the smoke out in the ashtray, a mini mountain of butts which he needed to clear out. He grabbed the knife from the block and headed to the bathroom.

Unser's eyes widened when he saw Juice approaching with the knife but calmed when he lowered it to his hands and cut the cables free.

Juice left him to sort himself out and moved back to the dining table. As soon as he saw Unser moving through to the living room the panic took over again.

"How did you know I was here?" He barked immediately.

"I didn't. I uh, saw your backpack in the closet, seemed outta place." Unser approached slowly, as if he were approaching a scared animal. Which for all intents and purposes he was. "You uh, hiding from the club? About Tara?"

Juice shifted uncomfortably. "No. Old sins."

"How'd you land here?" No response. "Oh, Wendy just got out. Only other people with keys are me and Gemma. And I'm gunna assume that, given Roxy's mood, she doesn't know you're here. What are we doing here son?"

Juice ignored his mention of Roxy and pushed his jacket towards him. "You can go."

Unser shook his head and sat down at the table. "Got no place I gotta be."

Juice was incredulous. "Seriously? What if I change my mind?"

"You won't. What's Jax gunna do if he finds you?"

Juice looked at him blankly. "What do you think?"

Unser nodded. "Right. And Roxy?"

Juice shrugged. "Probably only keeping her close now in the hopes she'll slip up and lead them to me. After that she's exiled. If she's lucky."

"You got a plan? To get outta Charming? A destination?"

"What do you care?" Juice was biting back tears. His helplessness getting the better of him with Unser reminding him of his loneliness. He had no one and no where to go. "No. Not really." He shook his head.

"You want my help?"

Juice looked up at him. "Why?"

Unser sighed lengthily. "There's been too much death, too much hurt and pain recently. And Roxy? That kid deserves a happy ending. I thought she got it in New York but... Well I think you're her best chance at that. So yeah. I'll help you."

xxx xxx

Roxy had a terrible hangover and was woken by Gemma banging on her door.

"You gotta come with me to TM! None of the guys can watch you here so get a move on."

Roxy groaned, cursing her life right now. But she perked up when she realised that tomorrow was Friday and she could talk to Juice again.

Rolling out of bed she had a quick shower before changing ready for the day. Roxy went downstairs just as Gemma was leaving Brooke with the boys. She chased after Gemma and hopped in the car with her. Gemma was clearly upset and Roxy had no idea what had happened.

"Ma? You ok?"

Gemma cleared her throat. "Yeah, just Abel. Wants to see his mommy."

"We can't take him Ma. I went yesterday, all it'll do is frighten him."

"Yeah, yeah I know." The guilt was eating Gemma alive but there was nothing she could do.

When they got to TM Roxy had her orders, help Chucky organise the invoices while Gemma was typing them in on the computer. It was the dullest work and it did nothing to help Roxy with keeping her mind of Juice.

Unser came in some time after lunch wanting to talk to Gemma.

"No boys?"

"Nah kept them at home with Brooke. Figured they'd have more fun there." She motioned to Roxy who was sulking on the sofa. "Where have you been?"

"Pyjama party." He looked pointedly to Chucky and Roxy. "Mind if we have a minute."

Chucky looked up first. "You ok with that?"

"I think I'll manage." She smirked.

Chucky tugged Roxy up and pulled her to the door. She grabbed her purse and smokes before following him outside to a bench.

"You're very sad Roxanna." Chucky always called her by her full name.

She chuckled. "Yeah. I am Chucky."

"Juice was too the last time I saw him."

Roxy considered him for a moment. "When was that?"

"Morning of the day Tara got hurt. He had a chat with your mom at Scoops. He didn't look happy at all."

"Suppose he wouldn't talking to her." She smiled. "Wasn't a good time for us after Clay. Still isn't."

"I accept that." Roxy smiled at his turn of phrase. "But we'll find a way out."

"Everyone says that Chucky. But I don't see it happening. It's just been one thing after another for months now, since he got out of Stockton. Every time everyone says it'll be ok but it never is."

Chucky looked down at his mechanical fingers. "Gotta keep hoping though Roxanna. If you give up then it'll never be ok again."

Roxy stared at him, sometimes he was weird but people didn't really give Chucky the credit he was due. He was a lot more clued on than people thought.

xxx xxx

Juice jumped off the sofa, startled from finally getting some sleep as Gemma threw a book at him.

"Shit! What are you doing?!"

"You do realise that the way you stay alive is that people don't know you are here, right?"

"Unser found my bag."

"Yeah I got that part of the story."

Juice sighed and Gemma joined him on the sofa.

"How'd it go with the Chinese last night?" He knew Gemma was setting them up for Tara. She'd asked for some information on different beefs the club had and given her the info and gone along with it as a way to keep her out of trouble. Seeing as she was keeping him safe it was the least he could do.

"I don't know. I picked out one of Lin's guys."

"Jax on board?"

"Whatever that running beef is it was deep enough to let him believe it was one of Lin's crew who attacked Tara."

They were silent for a moment.

"How's Roxy?" Juice finally broke it.

"Moping. But ok. Misses you."

"Unser said he'll help me get out of town. Reckon Roxy can come too?"

"No." Gemma said immediately. "Not right now. Puts her in way too much danger with the club. We'll do our best to get you out safe Juice but if the club finds you... Well I don't want Roxy caught in that crossfire. And neither do you."

Juice nodded. Gemma was concerned about that scenario, but truth be told she was honestly more worried Juice would spill the beans about Tara. And she couldn't have that.

"Look Unser was relieved I'm keeping you alive, so I don't think he's gunna out you. But we can't take any chances. He's helping the sheriff's with Tara's case. Poking around everywhere." She rummaged in her bag. "So here's a clean burner. Here's $4300, it's all I could get right now."

"I have money at the shop." Juice protested.

"Here's the key to my dads house, directions... They put it up for sale, it's empty but the power's on. So you can crash there till we figure out something permanent."

"Gemma..."

"Pack your shit." She cut him off firmly. "Take the junkies car, and go. Call me when you get there."

Juice nodded slowly. "But Roxy-"

"There's nothing more to talk about. You gotta leave. Now." She kissed him on the cheek and left the apartment.

Juice stared at the address, he couldn't just leave. But he had to.

Juice moved through the apartment getting his bits together and grabbed Wendy's keys. He took one last look around at everything before pulling his baseball cap down low and left the apartment.

He looked at the directions one more time, memorising the way. He knew it from riding up there when they went to get Gemma when Abel was kidnapped. The route took him past Charming but he had to go drive through. Something was drawing him towards the club and he just wanted to see the familiarity once more before he left. He drove past Scoops then TM. He looked out for Roxy but figured she was under watch somewhere else.

Juice sighed and flipped open the burner. He had to at least try and talk to Chibs before he left. Out of all the brothers he was closest to Chibs and he wanted to see if they could maybe patch things up before he left. Maybe then he wouldn't have to go and he could stay and be with Roxy.

He pressed the phone to his ear as it rang, but when he heard Chibs' voice he couldn't speak, he froze and hung up before saying anything. He kept driving around, circling past Charming as the indecision clouded his mind. In the end he gave up and raced back to the apartment and locked himself inside.

Juice slid down the door of the apartment until he was sitting on the floor. He needed to get away, but Charming was his home and it wasn't that easy.

xxx xxx

Roxy spent a restless night in bed, trying everything she could to get to sleep. Eventually, somewhere around 3am, she drifted off but had to get up for work at 7am. So she filled the biggest coffee cup she could find and waited for Rat to arrive and escort her to work.

He hated sitting with her on a Friday as it meant he was sat in a car park all day, only talking to Roxy every now and again when she came out to check in and have a smoke.

As soon as Roxy had her stuff down at her desk Joey came over, it was only 8am and they didn't start till 8:30am but he had his hand outstretched, phone at the ready. Roxy smiled and thanked him profusely before practically running to the interview room.

She rang as usual and waited for the burner to call back. But after a couple of minutes there was still no call back. Heart in her chest she rang again. Repeating the process three more times before the phone finally vibrated with an incoming call.

"J? Are you ok?"

Juice's voice was slow with sleep when he responded. "Sorry baby. Guess I was a bit too tired."

Roxy sighed. "How are you Juan?"

"Mmm. I'm ok. I'm sick of this hiding out though."

"Tell me where you are. I'll come find you."

"No. It's not-"

"Safe. Yeah I know. But you're not ok. I know you J. You can't stay alone forever. I want to be with you."

Juice smiled at her worry. "Look I'll be fine Rox. I promise. I'm getting out then I'll get in touch with Joey and sort something out to meet you, yeah?"

"Fine. But I want to see you soon. This is gunna sound so lame and soppy but I just wanna feel your arms round me."

Juice chuckled. "Bet that's not all you wanna feel." He joked suggestively.

"Oi Ortiz keep it clean, I am at work." She giggled. "But that's just another incentive for you to let me see you."

"Look hang tight. I'm working something out today and we'll talk Monday. Ok?"

"Ok. I'll talk to you then." Roxy could feel the tears brimming with the impending end to their phone call. "I don't wanna hang up."

"Please don't cry baby. I'm so sorry. Please, I promise I'll get somewhere soon."

Roxy chocked back a sob and nodded. "I know. I just miss you. This is all my fault."

"How do you figure that? It was my big mouth."

"You wouldn't have gone there if I hadn't lost it at you."

"It doesn't matter babe. Just please don't cry."

"Ok." She sniffed. "I love you."

"I love you too. I'll be thinking of you."

"Me too."

"Speak to you Monday."

"Ok. Bye."

"Bye baby."

Roxy locked the phone and sat it on the table before taking her head in her hands and letting the tears run free now Juice could no longer hear her.

Juice lay on the sofa and started talking to someone who wasn't there. It was weird but it helped stave off the cabin fever to talk to someone about his thoughts. He couldn't share them with Roxy so he shared them to the shower, as if she were in there, or the tv when it was muted, the actors' facial expressions sometimes responding appropriately to what he was saying. He needed to get out of here before he lost the plot. Roxy was right. He couldn't be alone.

xxx xxx

As soon as Juice and Roxy hung up he knew he needed to do something. He didn't want to run away with Roxy unnecessarily. It would be dangerous for her if the club ever found her. So he decided he had to find out if he could stay for sure.

That's where Unser came in. He called him over and now were going over his plan.

"You said you wanted to help?"

"Yeah. And I meant it." Unser assured him.

"You're working with the sheriff's?"

"I am. But that's about Tara. Something... I need to do."

Juice wrung his hands nervously on the table. They were dried out and cracking from being washed so obsessively. Unser had noticed the little bottles of alcohol wash sitting on the table in front of them. One was half empty.

"How do I know I can trust you?"

"You really gotta ask me that?" Unser scoffed. "You had me bound and gagged in a bathtub son. I think I woulda already dropped a dime on you if that's what I wanted."

Juice nodded. "I need a favour. But it's a big one. It's something that I... need to do. Before I just run away. I owe it to Roxy to make a safe cut for us."

"Ok. But I'm gunna want a favour too. About Tara. Anything that can point me in direction of the attempted hitman. You give me that and I'll help you."

Juice had Unser place the call that would see Chibs go to meet his 'parole officer' and agreed on a time and place. Unser left to go sort everything and told Juice he'd come get him later.

Juice looked out his kutte as he waited for Unser. He wanted to show Chibs he was serious about the club, loyal. So he put it on, smiling at his reflection. It felt just as good as the first time he put on his prospect's kutte. It was a symbol of his belonging to something. Brotherhood. Love. Everything he'd ever wanted, ever chased down. He had it when he put on that leather. He hoped it was still the same now.

He was pulled from his thoughts by Unser knocking on the door. Juice checked quickly before opening the door and retreating to grab his hoodie and cap.

"You park out back?"

"You sure you wanna do this?" Unser replied.

"I have to. You can't back out."

Unser watched him as he passed him through the door. Juice was nervous, excited almost and most definitely looking for approval. He could tell that. Unser sighed, knowing most likely he wouldn't get it from Chibs. But Juice felt like he had to try for Roxy.

Juice was shaking as he drove to the diner. He wanted this to work. He wanted Chibs to tell him everything was going to be ok and that they'd work something out. Then he could stay here with Roxy. He wouldn't have to run, she wouldn't run with him and be in danger and everyone would be happy.

Juice pulled in to the lot and parked up near the door so as to make a quick escape if it came to that. Juice checked his gun before putting it back in his waistband and followed Unser into the diner. He hid at a booth just round from Unser's, waiting for Chibs to notice Unser at his table. Then he'd make his move.

They were waiting for ten minutes or so before he heard the approaching rumble of a Harley. The sound made Juice miss his bike and her give anything to go for a ride now, Roxy riding bitch.

Juice heard Chibs and Unser talking and made his move.

"Uh, sorry." Unser said at the look on Chibs' face.

"I took him at gunpoint." Juice discreetly showing the gun. "He had no choice."

"Jesus Christ. You dumb bastard."

"It's the only way I could get you to come alone. I needed to talk to you."

Chibs could barely look Juice in the face and Unser found it hard to look at Juice. The pleading vibes washing over we're too much.

"We're way past talking. You shoulda ran when you had the chance boy."

Juice unzipped his hoodie showing the kutte. "This is all I have. The club and Roxy. I got no place to run to."

Chibs looked away, anger coursing through his veins seeing Juice wearing the reaper after betraying Jax and the club. "What the hell do you want?"

"Did the club vote for mayhem or is Jax doin this on his own?"

Chibs scoffed. "That's none of your business."

"I need to know if there's something I can do to earn my way back. For Roxy. I'll do anything man. Please?"

Chibs looked away from Juice once again, unable to watch him beg. He was twisted with hatred and brotherly bond for Juice combined with his loyalty to Jax and the club.

After a moments consideration he leaned forward to talk quietly. Juice's eyes lighting up with hope. "If I were you, I'd take that gun, put it in my mouth... And pull the trigger." He leaned back. "It's the only hope that girl's got."

Juice's eyes glassed over. Hearing those words from Chibs wrecking him. He took a moment to steel himself before turning to Unser. "Keys?" Unser passed them.

"You follow me out I'll put a round in your tyres." He said to Chibs, who scoffed again. "I'm sorry brother. I never meant to hurt the club. It's the only family I have." He watched as Chibs moved uncomfortably under his gaze. "I love you."

xxx xxx

Juice drove around for an hour after the diner to calm down but by the time he got back to the apartment he was having a panic attack. He crouched on the floor just behind the locked door and clutched at his chest as he tried to slow his breathing down but it was no good. He felt like he was going insane, his heart was pounding like it was going to stop any second. He was petrified that Chibs was going to walk in the door behind him and shoot him in the back of the head. He had told him to kill himself. Said it would be better for Roxy.

He was probably right. Then Roxy could pick someone normal and be safe from the club. From him.

The thoughts were screaming over the top of each other in his mind and it was a long time before he could even his breathing out and finally he lay trembling on the floor as the adrenalin left his body.

Juice knew the mechanics behind a panic attack but it didn't make it any less scary. He didn't know how long he'd been sitting there but he'd smoked a fair few cigarettes and finally decided he needed a joint.

After a while Unser and Wendy let themselves in. Wendy took one look at him and knew he wasn't doing good. When she approached him she spoke in a soft voice and gave simple short instructions.

Wendy helped him pack his stuff, Juice being mostly silent and still out of it. Not that the weed had helped.

When he was finally packed up Wendy and Unser helped him down to the car. It was then Juice noted that it was dark and he vaguely wondered how long he'd been sitting on the floor. At least 2 hours he surmised.

Juice sat in the back while Wendy and Unser drove pulled up at some motel outside of town. He didn't pay attention as to where but he figured somewhere near Lodi.

"It's just till you figure out where you wanna go." Wendy said as he surveyed the area.

"Yeah." He nodded.

"But you gotta stay put." Warned Unser. "That APB goes out and every cop has your picture. I'll check you in under my name."

Juice was still out of it, not really focussed on anything but the overwhelming sadness and hopelessness he felt right now.

Wendy, again, noticed this and pulled him in for a hug. "We'll check in on you tomorrow, ok?" She gave him a kiss on the cheek and waited in the car for Unser.

Wayne walked Juice in to the office and paid for a room for the week under his name and with his credit card. The clerk gave him the key and sent them up to a room on the second floor.

Unser let him in and handed over the key. Juice surveyed the room that was too be his prison for the next few days. It was smaller than the apartment, obviously, and he could already feel cabin fever setting in. But it was too dangerous to stay in Charming now and Wendy needed her home back.

"I'll see you tomorrow Juice. Just... Stay here ok? Watch some tv, smoke some weed, get some sleep, and I'll see you in the morning. Ok?"

Juice nodded and thanked Unser who then left, leaving Juice alone in the room. He sat on the bed for a moment, contemplating his day. Before long he was swirling in his mind again, analysing every single thing that happened that day. But Chibs' words stuck with him and he found himself looking at his gun more than once. He sighed and took the clip out and left it on the dresser before unpacking all his bits and meticulously placing them in their spots.

xxx xxx

Roxy slept straight away after work and woke the next morning to her phone ringing incessantly. It was Harley, her and Lyla were working at RedWoody full time producing and were loving it.

They wanted her to come down and hang out so after asking Jax for permission he had Rat drive her down there. That meant riding bitch on Rat's bike seeing as she wasn't allowed her car lest she give them the slip.

It felt so wrong riding bitch with someone other than Juice. Almost like she was cheating on him. She'd give anything to feel him between her legs again, both on and off the bike.

Maybe with her current libido it was a bad idea to spend the day in a porn studio.

Rat hung around the studio while Roxy gossiped with Lyla and Harley.

"So how's Happy? Sorted everything after the cabin?" Roxy was curious, they'd had a raging fight over his treatment of Harley and Roxy at the cabin and she wouldn't speak to him for days. To his credit Happy hadn't slept with any of the porn stars or Diosa girls despite having multiple opportunities. This spoke to Roxy as a good sign and she wanted to know the details.

"It's ok. Came home all hyped up last night." She gestured to the rope marks on her wrists and a prominent hickey on her chest. "They raided the Chinese brothels last night in revenge for something or other. I have a feeling it's to do with Tara but he wouldn't say more."

"Oh my god. They think it was really them?"

"Yeah, dunno who else it would be." Harley shrugged.

"How's Tara?" Lyla inquired.

"She's breathing on her own now according to Ma. Jax goes to see her every night now. He told Ma that it's a good sign and the docs are impressed so maybe soon she'll wake up and tell them for sure who did it. If she can remember..."

"I hope she pulls through ok. No one deserves that shit. I mean she went a bit crazy there but... This life will do that to you."

"I hear you Lyla." Harley added, her dad being prime example of that.

"Any news on Juice?" Lyla questioned.

Roxy sighed lengthily. "No. No idea where he is. Guys aren't saying anything so I'm just in limbo. I think maybe if Jax has time to cool off maybe then we'll be OK. But I don't wanna broach the subject with him right now."

"Fair enough."

Roxy trusted Harley and Lyla but they were super close to the club and she just worried in case they accidentally let something slip. And if the club knew she was calling Juice she'd be in trouble.

xxx xxx

"I never doubted my loyalty. Remember Prulow, man?" Juice was sitting on the bed talking to the shower as it ran. He'd had no sleep the night before and everything Chibs said had ran constantly through his mind. He had another panic attack just staring at his gun thinking about the fact that Chibs, of all people, had told him he may as well eat it. In the end, after some tough thoughts about Roxy, he had a long, long shower and shaved. But he couldn't get his mohawk right so he got rid. Clean start, figuratively and literally for when he got out of here. And at least his hair would grow back even.

He smoked the last of his weed in an attempt to sleep after that but it did nothing. He'd have to ask Wendy to bring some by later.

"Fat little shithead from Woodhaven. Bailed out his pussy ass when the Ozone crew was gunna gut him for losing that numbers bag. I didn't have to do that. I just knew his heart was in the gig. Club has got to know that. It doesn't seem fair."

It wasn't fair. People at that table had done far worse than him, so why was he staring down mayhem for something so small. Maybe they hated him, maybe they always had and had just been waiting for a chance to get rid of him. Jax probably didn't like him and Roxy together and wanted to let him go. Then he thought about Roxy and maybe she was lying too. Maybe she hated him too.

He was starting to get drawn into his thinking again, questioning every interaction he'd ever had with each member of the Sons was bad enough but questioning his relationship with Roxy is what broke him last night.

He was broken from his thoughts by a knock at the door and he moved to go answer it. When he saw Unser's bald head through the peep hole he opened the door.

"Who you talking to?" Unser asked. Juice didn't answer.

"Someone in the shower?" Wendy questioned. Again he didn't respond. Simply saying thank you for a coffee and crossed the room to get in the shower. He closed the door behind him, not really needing another shower, but it gave him a chance to listen in on them. Maybe they were plotting against him too?

"This isn't gunna end good." He heard Unser say.

"Yeah. I'll take the morning shift." Looks like Wendy was staying with him. "He isn't doing good Wayne."

"I know Wendy." He looked at the neatly ordered boxes of bullets. "I know."

xxx xxx

Things were nice with Wendy hanging around. She had talked to him about Roxy, telling him how she was doing, what was going on. She helped him look up places to run to that Roxy might like too.

But that all ended when Gemma showed up.

"I had to know, Gemma, if there was any way that I-"

"And now you know!" She immediately started busting his balls the moment she came in the door. Obviously she had heard about the Chibs incident. "No more games Juice. I'm gunna go home, I'm gunna pack a bag and I'm gunna drive you to my dads place myself." Juice rolled his eyes like a petulant teenager as she sorted childcare with Wendy before turning back to him.

"Gemma can't I just wait until I figure out how to get Roxy out."

"There is no way to get her out right now Juice!" She softened her approach now, walking closer. "The walls are closing in sweetheart. You stay and the MC finds you, or the cops do. Either way, Jax gets to you and you end up dead. That what you want?"

Juice shook his head, pacing now like a caged animal. "I don't want to die. I just..." He took a deep breath to stop from crying. "I don't like being alone. I'm not good on my own. My head gets so loud." More breaths to stop the sobs threatening to break through with the thought of an indefinite period alone in an empty house with no way to get to Roxy. "And shit doesn't make... Nothing syncs up. I start thinking about my thinking and getting lost in the details of nothing... Nothing can pull me out of it and I..." He couldn't finish.

He moved over to the bed and just fell on it, the sobs finally becoming free. All he wanted was Roxy. She'd help him make sense of all this and find his way. He allowed Wendy to comfort him as he openly cried for the first time in a long time. Completely vulnerable and at their mercy.

xxx xxx

Roxy was bored out of her mind at the studio, Rat had been called away to help the guys with something and some dweeb from Tacoma was sent in his place.

But Unser and Wendy showed up in the truck to pick Roxy up early, thank god. She did not want to ride bitch with dweeb boy.

"Thank god. You'd think a porn studio would be fun... It's really not." She sighed as she got in the car, totally over the day.

Wendy and Unser shared a knowing smirk as they left the studio and headed the other way from Charming.

"Where are we going?" Roxy piped up when she finally realised they were going the wrong way.

"Oh, just gotta drop something off." Unser answered vaguely.

Roxy was too depressed to care where they were going so when they pulled up at a motel she was surprised that Unser was pulling her out, Wendy pushing for her to go up the stairs.

They stopped outside a room and Unser banged on the door. Roxy heard shuffling inside before a pause and the door opening.

"Wayne what's-"

"Juan?!" Roxy cried excitedly at the sight of Juice standing in the room in nothing but sweat pants.

"Roxy?"

Wendy piped up as Roxy rushed in to the room to hug him. "We'll leave you guys to it. You got an hour then we gotta pick you up Roxy."

Juice nodded, not really paying any attention to her, but rather Roxy who he finally had in his arms.


	94. Chapter 94

"Oh my god baby. Your mohawk." Was the first thing Roxy said as Juice shut the door. Roxy could finally see the tattoo underneath it as he sat down next to her. She'd been able to see the outline from time to time when his hawk was shaved close. But he'd never tell her what it was or meant.

Roxy tried pulling him in to kiss her but Juice was stiff against her as she placed a kiss on his lips.

Roxy pulled back. "Baby? Aren't you happy to see me?" When Roxy looked at him she could see the tears in his eyes. "What's wrong J?"

"I just... I'm having a hard time thinking this is real right now. I didn't think I was gunna see you again." He finally admitted.

Roxy grabbed his hand. "Why? Of course you'd see me again."

Juice traced her ring with his finger and couldn't help the tears escape. "Chibs said the best thing for me to do would be 'put my gun in my mouth and pull the trigger'. That way you'd have a chance with the club and of having a happy life."

Roxy gasped. "He said that?!" Anger taking over her actions. She stood from the bed and began pacing. She noticed the gun on the night stand, then the perfectly organised boxes of bullets, hand sanitiser and other bits around the room. She turned back to Juice who was still sitting on the bed. She knew he wasn't ok and hated Chibs for saying such a thing. Especially when he knew of his previous attempt on his life.

She moved closer and took his face in her hands. "You leaving me for good is the worst thing that could happen. Juan, I love you, so much." She pushed forward to kiss him and this time he reciprocated. "You are everything to me. You can't listen to him. Please?"

Juice simply nodded and pulled her back into him. He fell back on the bed and Roxy straddled his waist as their kisses grew in fervour.

"I love you." She mumbled against his lips as his hands trailed up her back. "We're gunna get out of this, I promise."

"Yeah. I need you." He pulled back. "I don't wanna be alone any more. I can't do it, I can't be-" his breathing started increasing and Roxy could tell he was on the verge of a panic attack. This was all too overwhelming for him right now. It felt so good to have her close but then he was reminded of their dangerous predicament and his chest tightened.

It hit her then how crazy he must have been going cooped up here for the last two weeks. She placed her hands either side of his face and forced him to look at her.

"You won't be alone. Just breath with me J." Juice nodded and started trying to match his breathing with hers. After a few minutes it slowed to a more reasonable pace and she began talking again. "Just focus on right now. Ok? I'm here. You're here. We are safe and we are going to work this out. Yeah?" She soothed as she gently smoothed her hands over his head.

Juice nodded slowly. Chuckling before he said. "Looks like we are about to get our hotel sex after all."

Roxy smiled at his attempt at humour. "Maybe. If you are feeling up for it."

"I'm always up for it with you." He tried to pull her back for a kiss but Roxy broke it.

"J, slow down, I just wanna make sure you're ok."

"I am. You're here. I'm ok."

"Alright." She conceded. She knew for Juice that physical love pretty much represented emotional love for him. It was why he'd gone to Crystal and of course Diosa the night this whole thing started, and he needed this right now to reconnect.

Roxy kissed him back as passionately as he kissed her, grinding her hips on his, feeling the bulge in his sweatpants as he kneaded her ass. Before long he rolled her over so he was now lying on top of her, trailing kisses down her chest and pulling at her blouse to get at her skin.

Roxy helped him undo the buttons then pulled his tank top up and off, trailing her hands down the hard muscles in his chest before he made his way back to her skin.

Roxy moaned in appreciation at the attention he was giving her breasts, sucking her nipples in turn before playfully biting her crow.

"Mine." He murmured against her skin.

"I love you so much." Roxy responded in kind, kissing and sucking hard on the tattoo of her name on his neck, leaving a small mark. Juice groaned in appreciation at the feeling and tugged on her hair to expose her neck to him for easier kissing, she thrusted into his hips as he moved, trying to achieve the friction she so desperately wanted.

Before long they were pulling each other's pants off and Roxy pushed him so he was lying up against the head board of the bed. As she kissed down his chest his muscles twitched under her lips, Juice was soaking up the closeness, the feeling of her on him as he got lost in the moment.

His eyes were closed but he knew her destination, however he still gasped when he felt her take him in her mouth, letting out a groan of appreciation at the feeling of her tongue dancing along his shaft. He grasped her hair to guide her as she continued he watched her, nothing turning him on more than watching her blow him. She looked up at him through her lashes and kissed the tip before taking him all in again. Juice loved the feeling but after the last two weeks he wanted more, he needed to be inside her.

Juice pulled her up to his lips and Roxy straddled his body, he ran his fingers down her abdomen, slipped beneath her panties and rubbed right where she wanted him. After a few seconds of teasing he picked her up before pulling her down and thrust into her. Roxy moaned and rolled her hips on top of him before dropping her head to meet his lips.

After a couple of minutes Juice couldn't take her slow pace any more and he rolled them over so he was in control.

"I missed you so much." He mumbled between thrusts. "Fuck, you feel so good baby." He dropped his head and kissed her, hard and rough, nipping her bottom lip. "All I've thought about is you. This." He moved his lips to her ear. "Thinking about how good you look when you cum."

Roxy moaned at his words. "And I'm gunna, J... Harder please." Juice picked up the pace as Roxy moaned in appreciation. "Yes! J!" She gasped. "I missed this, oh god I fucking missed you."

Juice could feel her tense and release around him as she hit her climax, relishing her calling out his name as he felt the pull of his own orgasm.

"Roxy, shit, baby." He called out before he bit down on her shoulder.

After a few more moments they were both breathless lying next to each other catching their breath.

Roxy rolled into Juice and buried her head in his chest.

"I'm gunna have to hide that mark carefully these next few days."

"Sorry. Just felt so good to have you back."

Roxy nodded against his chest and continued tracing lines on his stomach with her fingertips.

"I don't wanna leave you here."

"I know baby." He stroked her arm.

"How come Wendy and Unser knew where you were?"

"I made Unser help me with getting Chibs alone. Then he and Wendy helped me."

"This whole time? And they didn't say?"

"Not the whole time. And it was too dangerous Rox. They figured you'd lead the club to me trying to see me or something. Plus they didn't want you to be complicit in this. You'd end up in more trouble."

They were silent for a few moments, basking in each other's company.

"I still can't believe Chibs would say that to you." She leaned up on her elbow to look at him. "I'm really worried-"

Juice knew what she was thinking and cut her off. "Roxy, I promise you I never even considered it."

Roxy narrowed her eyes. "J, I know you're lying." Juice sighed and avoided her gaze. "You need to tell me."

He met her gaze. "I- I don't know what to do here Roxy." His breath hitched. "I tried to make things right with the club but, Chibs, he said-" his breathing started racing again, "- he said that and it's done."

Roxy stroked his chest. "I don't care what Chibs said. I'm getting you out of here and I'm coming with." She thought for a moment. "Can you hold on tomorrow and I'll come Monday? I'm in the office Monday for meetings but I can talk to Joey, I'll sneak out and come get you here and we'll go. Just go wherever. I've got dad's money, I can sort it and we can just leave. Fuck Chibs, fuck the club, fuck my family. Just us. Yeah?"

"Ok babe. Ok we'll do it." He pulled her closer. "I just want you close for a bit more."

Juice soon fell asleep as Roxy traced patterns on his chest. It was the first time in the last two weeks he'd been able to get proper sleep, and it was just due to Roxy being here to ground him.

Roxy checked the time and knew Unser and Wendy would be back any minute. She slowly moved from under his arms and pulled her clothes on from their scattered spots around the room.

She sat on the edge of the bed to put her shoes on and Juice shot up at the movement.

"You're leaving?" He asked.

"Not yet. Figured I should be dressed when Unser and Wendy come to the door."

"Oh."

"I'd not leave without saying goodbye to you baby."

Juice smiled and got up to pull his track pants on before sitting back next to Roxy, taking every chance to soak in her warmth and company. She pulled him in for another kiss and stroked her hand over his freshly shaven head.

"So you going to tell me what this means now?"

Juice smiled sadly. "It's silly really."

"I don't think so. What do the numbers mean? Is it a date?"

"Yeah. Two days after Christmas. Last time I ever saw my dad."

Roxy didn't really know what to say to that. "Why did you get that?"

Juice shrugged. "Don't know really. I was pretty high when I got these." He motioned to his head. "Not weed. And it seemed like a good idea at the time. Guess that date was like the turning point of my life."

Roxy knew he'd had drug issues in the past so she didn't really say much. She knew it was all part of the whole self medicating thing for his OCD and anxiety. She kept a tight lipped smile but nodded.

"Ok."

"Ok?"

"Don't really know what else to say to that."

Juice nodded. "I think it's time I made some new memories."

Roxy bumped her shoulder against his and smiled. "We will."

They were broken from their talk by a knock at the door. Wendy and Unser ready to pick her up.

Juice checked before he opened the door to him and smiled this time as they came in. Wendy had bags with her, the first was food from the diner for him, the second had some drinks and bits and pieces from the gas station. Juice surveyed the food, relieved to have a good meal instead of instant food the last couple of days.

"Thanks Wendy."

"No problems Juice. Look after yourself. I'll come by tomorrow hopefully." She pulled a little baggy from her handbag and gave it over to him. "Weed, from your shop. They knew what you liked."

"Oh, thanks Wendy. You didn't have to."

"I did. Told them I wanted to try out what you recommended and they knew straight away what one. I had a joint, it's pretty good."

Juice grinned and took the bag from her as Unser interrupted them.

"Alright, we gotta go folks." He clapped his hands together.

Roxy felt instantly worried at the prospect of leaving Juice here, alone, knowing what she did about his mental state right now. She was pulled in for a hug though before she could finish her thought.

Juice's grip around her was tight and she could feel his heart racing through his chest. Roxy stroked his back and wiggled in his arms so she could kiss him, slowly and deeply, trying to reassure him.

"I'll see you on Monday. I promise. I'll figure it out with Joey and get here." She was talking softly in his ear, soothing him before she left. "Just wait for me J. I promise I'll come for you then you can take me wherever you wanna go. Ok?"

"Ok, be careful. I don't know what they'd do if they found out Rox. Just... nothing can happen to you-"

"Nothing's going to happen. I'll see you Monday, no two ways about it." She pecked him one more time before sliding out of his grasp, squeezing his hand as she left.

Unser and Wendy had been looking away as the couple talked, feeling like they were intruding on something private, they stood outside the door. Roxy breezed past them after shutting the door behind her. Wendy was quick to follow and grabbed Roxy's arm at the bottom of the stairs.

"Are you ok?" She asked full of concern.

"I don't know Wendy. He's not... He's not ok. I don't know what to do."

Wendy shushed her and brought her in for a hug as she slowly dissolved to tears. Unser went to get the truck and pulled it up in front of them. Wendy gently pushed her in to the truck so they could talk on the road.

"I need to get him out of there Wendy. He won't last there much longer." Wendy hummed her approval but didn't offer any ideas. "Can I use your phone before we get back? If I can call Joey I can maybe arrange something."

"Yeah, ok." She pulled out the phone and passed it over to Roxy.

"Shit. I don't have his number." She panicked for a moment before opening Facebook. "I'm facebooking him from your account. Sorry."

Wendy chuckled. "Whatever works."

xxx xxx

Roxy spent Saturday night awake and worrying about Juice. Her and Joey came up with a plan for Monday. They had an office day, and as usual, Rat would be keeping watch over Roxy. But this time

Joey would give her his car from the underground lot and she'd take it out the back exit. Then she'd swing past her and Juice's house to grab their bags.

Sunday's mission was to get someone to take her there so she could quickly pack them under the guise of needing some more clothes for work.

Roxy was currently at Scoops seeing as Gemma was down there helping out and Rat couldn't baby sit her either. Unser had gone to see Juice and make sure he was ok and had food for the day. Roxy gave him a letter to give to Juice just to tide him over until tomorrow, and to say she'd call him in the morning to explain the plan.

The guys had finished their meeting and Jax had told them all about Tara's latest developments. Her brain activity seemed to be increasing and the swelling had all but gone so the doctors were optimistic she'd wake up in the next few days, still unsure of the permanent damage they'd told Jax to prepare for the worst.

Now everyone was sitting around drinking beers, Harley sitting on Happy's lap had Roxy missing Juice tenfold but reminded her why she was going to run away with him. She thought she'd be apprehensive about leaving her family behind but then she thought, what family?

The guys had all disowned her at the thought of Juice's indiscretion, despite the fact that most of them had known her almost her whole life, Jax didn't care about Roxy for the same issue, Gemma was so wrapped up in Tara and the boys she barely noticed Roxy most days, and her dad was gone, along with her substitute father in Tig.

Eventually Roxy got tired of watching everyone from the sidelines and announced she needed someone to take her home to grab more clothes. Jax sighed and told Chibs to take her. Roxy tried protesting but Jax was having none of it.

The very thought of riding bitch with Chibs made her want to stab him. However she needed to do this to make sure they had stuff ready for tomorrow.

Roxy barely touched Chibs on the ride over, choosing to hold onto the seat rather than him. When they got to the house he wanted to go in first to sweep for Juice but Roxy just barged past him into her house, throwing her keys in the bowl at the door like she always did, kicking her shoes off she motioned for Chibs to do the same.

He refused. "I know you'd rather we both dropped dead Chibs but it's still our house. No need to be disrespectful." She stopped at the entrance to the hallway. "I'll be back in five. Don't make yourself comfortable."

Roxy shut the bedroom door before grabbing her big sports bag from the closet. She ran to the dresser and grabbed all of hers and Juice's underwear and shoved it in the bag along with an assortment of pants, tshirts, and sweatshirts. She grabbed pyjamas for both and a couple of her favourite dresses. Roxy grabbed some of her extra toiletries and threw them in before zipping it up.

She gave another glance around the room to see if there was anything else worth taking. Noticing the photo frame of the two of them she grabbed it and shoved it in the side pocket before kneeling in front of the safe in the closet. She pulled out her dad's paperwork along with her jewellery and put them in her purse, then grabbed the spare cash they had, put a wad in her purse, and shoved the rest in her sports bag.

Roxy stuffed the bag in the bottom of the closet and grabbed some of her clothes and another of Juice's sweatshirts to take home with her today.

Roxy decided to take a moment to collect her thoughts with this being probably her last time in this house. She lay back on the bed and pulled Juice's sweatshirt close, running her fingers over the embroidered SAMCRO logo. She let out a shaky breath as she thought once more of everything she'd leave behind here and after a few moments Chibs knocked and entered the room, without waiting for a response from Roxy.

"You about done lass?" He had to admit his heart dropped a little seeing her crying over a sweatshirt. "C'mon lass, no need to cry." He tried soothing.

Roxy shot up to a sitting position, sweatshirt still clutched in her hands as hatred burned in her glassy eyes. "No need to cry? No need to cry huh?" She stood and walked closer to Chibs. "My fiancé is running from this club for reasons unbeknownst to me, I've been disowned from my entire family, people I've looked up to for years are treating me like I'm dog shit, my own best friend has hardly been able to talk to me." She took a deep breath and looked down. "Juice is the love of my life, my other half, I don't know where to find him, if he's ok, where he's going. I can't tell him I love him and that it'll be ok, I'm terrified something will happen to him or he'll do something to himself." She looked back up to meet his concerned gaze. "And on top of all of that I find out that when Juice reached out to you, the one person he's looked up to most in the world... You told him to eat his gun."

Chibs was slack jawed and gawped at Roxy for a second before the spark returned to his eyes.

"How do you know about that?" He all but growled.

Roxy met his aggression defiantly. "Unser told me. Because unlike you guys he thought I should at least know he's still alive." She choked out. "For now... How could you say that to him Chibs?! He loves you, how could you do that?! You know what he's like, what he's tried before. I can't lose him because of you."

Chibs sighed guiltily. He knew what he'd said was a low blow, but he thought it would have been enough to get him to leave Charming. Leaving was the only chance he had at staying whole.

"Where is he?"

Roxy shrugged. "I don't know Chibs. And if I did I wouldn't tell you."

"Why should I believe Unser told you?"

"Because Unser told me, as he's actually a decent human being. Unlike you. And don't go off at him Chibs. He just had the decency to tell me he was still alive... For now." She pointedly glared at him again, wanting to take every opportunity to make him feel like shit.

"He needs to run Roxy."

"I don't see why."

"You know why." He growled at her. "Now hurry up." He pulled her by the arm.

Roxy wrenched her arm from him and grabbed her stuff, taking another glance around her room as she followed him out.

He waited for her at his bike but Roxy walked right on past.

"Get on the bike love." He demanded.

"No. I'd rather walk."

"Why? Roxy stop being difficult." He groaned.

"Because fuck you Chibs. That's why." She continued walking out of her driveway and down the street towards her Ma's. Chibs kicked the bike over and followed at an agonisingly slow pace.

"Enough of this shit. On the bike. Now!"

Roxy turned to him and walked right over to him, getting in his face. Probably a bad idea but she was just seeing red about what he said to Juice.

"I'd rather you shot me than ride bitch with you." The challenge was set in her eyes, daring him to pull his gun. But he didn't. "That's what I thought." She kept walking and Chibs just kept his eye on her while following behind her.

She didn't try and run and went straight home like a good girl, but it still pissed off Chibs nonetheless. He was feeling guilty and Roxy was really twisting the knife in.

xxx xxx

Saturday night and Sunday went by very, very slowly for Juice. He didn't have any more panic attacks but he was on edge. The only thing keeping him together was seeing the love bite on his neck, over Roxy's name, it proved he didn't dream the encounter and knew she was coming back to him that and her letter. Unser had come by earlier in the day to drop him off some food. Roxy had written him a letter telling him how much she loved him, detailing loads of different reasons, and about how happy their life would be when they got out of there.

By Sunday evening he had packed everything in his bag and sat on the end of his bed. He had no idea what the plan was tomorrow or what time she'd be coming. But he wanted to be ready for when she was. He turned the television on for some background noise and prepared for a long ass night of worrying.

xxx xxx

Roxy woke up so early that morning and carefully prepared for 'work'. By the time Rat was ready to take her she was a nervous wreck. She carefully placed letters for her Ma and Jax on her bed and went downstairs to Rat's bike and off to work.

Joey met her in the lobby and they rushed to the elevators.

"Ok, here are my keys, it's parked in bay 25."

"Thanks Joey, here's some cash for the car. We can wire you some more when we get somewhere safe that Juice can access his money."

"Don't stress about it." Joey wasn't exactly strapped for cash, his family was fairly well off.

"Thank you so much for this Joey, I'm so sorry to stuff you around and get you involved in this shit."

"Hey, we're friends Rox, of course I'll help you." The elevator reached the basement car park. "Ok, this is the card to get out the back. I'll text Juice now and let him know you're on your way. Call me when you're on your way out."

"I will." She pulled Joey in for a hug and kiss on the cheek before she ran over to find the car.

Roxy jumped in the SUV and started it over she had to drive past the ramp that led to the front entrance before going round to the back. As she passed she could just see the back end of Rat's bike. She could tell he was standing next to it having a smoke from the way his feet were crossed. But that was a great sign, it meant she could make her getaway.

She drove to the back side of the building, flashed the keycard at the sensor and was out into the street behind. Roxy quickly turned and made her way back to Charming to grab the bags. She had about 2 hours until her next check in with Rat so that would be plenty time to grab the bag and go.

The guys watching their house were stationed out the front, so Roxy parked the street behind and ran up to the back fence, jumped over and let herself in the back door, glad they were really only looking out for Juice or a bike.

Quickly looking around for anything else she might need Roxy ran to the bedroom and grabbed the bag and made her way back out. She locked the back door behind her and threw the bag over the fence, she moved a deck chair over so she could flip herself over the fence. She quickly shoved the bag in the car and started it over and turned around back onto the street.

The relief of getting away from the house soothed her as she made her way back to the highway. She was so relieved she didn't notice the blacked out Mercedes throw a U turn to follow after her.

The men in the Mercedes had noticed her driving the SUV and noted that she was their target, and she was driving away from her house.

Roxy sang along to the rock on the radio as she obliviously made her way to the motel. She breathed a bigger sigh of relief as she pulled round to the back of the motel lot.

Roxy parked up and hopped out of the car, she grabbed her purse, leaving the sports bag in the back seat. Just as she locked the doors she heard the squeal of tyres and turned around. Before she could scream for help, however, she was grabbed by two burly Asian men. One pulled her up by her arms and covered her mouth as the other grabbed her legs and pulled her in to the back of their car. As panic set in she struggled to break free but it was no use and she lost her purse in the process.

She tried biting the hand that had covered her mouth but it was no use. He was too strong.

They slammed the door behind her and she was sandwiched in the back between the two men as the car squealed from the lot, leaving her car, purse, and Juice behind.

A/N: shits about to get crazy for a bit but here we go!


	95. Chapter 95

**A/N: this chapter is pretty sad and could be triggering I guess. So read with caution!**

 **drama drama drama!**

Juice was pacing the room, he'd been up since sunrise and Joey had messaged him two hours ago now. "She should be here!" He yelled in frustration.

He grabbed the burner and called Joey's number. It picked up after a few rings, Joey had been waiting on Roxy's call.

"Roxy?" Joey asked.

"No. It's Juice. She isn't here man. She hasn't showed. You sure she's coming?" Juice rambled.

"Yeah she left here at 8:15am. She was going by your house to grab a bag then she was coming to get you."

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck. The club has her."

"You really think so? That Rat guy hasn't moved all morning."

Juice groaned. "I dunno. It's either that or she's changed her mind."

"She won't have Juice. She was desperate to get to you-" Joey broke off and Juice could hear someone talking in the background. "Ok, Juice?"

"Yeah?"

"Sorry that was the receptionist. That Rat guy is inside wanting to see Roxy."

"Ok, shit. Fuck. Look go talk to him see if anythings up. I'll see if she's around outside or something. I'll call you back."

They hung up and Juice went outside to see if she'd pulled into the lot. Or just in case she was running late and they had to dash before Rat cottoned on to the fact she was gone.

Juice could see the gold SUV parked just round the corner and his heart sunk. Maybe she was waiting in the car, having second thoughts. He zipped up his hoodie and ran down the steps two at a time. As he got closer he noticed the purse on the ground and recognised it instantly as Roxy's.

He checked the car and she was nowhere to be seen, it was locked. "Oh shit." He pulled the phone out and called Joey back.

"Juice?"

"Yeah. She's been taken man." Juice was having a hard time keeping his panic under wraps as he ran through every possible scenario in his head.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, your cars here and her purse is on the ground next to it. What did Rat say?"

"It can't be the club he just wanted her down to check in. I told him she'd be down in a few as she's stuck in a meeting."

Juice groaned and sat on the ground next to the car trying to steady his breathing. He couldn't panic now, he needed to figure this out.

"Ok. I'll uh, I'll call Chibs. Hang tight."

"Won't that get you in trouble with the club?"

"Right now I don't give a shit. We need them to find Roxy."

"Ok. Call me back."

Juice agreed and hung up. He grabbed Roxy's purse and ran back up to his room and locked the door.

He shakily dialled Chibs' personal number. It was one he knew off by heart.

"Hello?" Chibs' gruff voice crackled over the line.

"Chibs it's Juice don't-"

"What the fuck are you doin' calling me lad?" He growled.

"Chibs hear me out. It's Roxy. She's uh, she's missing."

"No she's not. Rat is at her work."

"No we had a plan she left there to come get me. The car is out back of my motel and she's gone, her purse was on the ground." Juice raced out.

"Holy fucking shit. What the fuck were you playing at?! You idiot!" Chibs yelled down the phone. Juice could hear some talking in the background then Chibs explaining to them what was happening.

Jax's voice appeared on the line next. Cold and calm. "Juice. What the hell were you planning on doing?"

"We were leaving. She was supposed to come get me but she's not-"

"Fucking hell. You need to get to Scoops. Now!"

"Ok. I'll get there, you just can't... do anything to me yet. Not until we have Roxy back."

Jax was quiet for a moment. "Yeah ok. You're good until we figure this out."

Juice breathed a short sigh of relief. "I'm on my way."

He hung up, grabbed his shit and looked through Roxy's purse for the keys. As soon as he had everything he ran down to the car.

He could smell her perfume in the air as he drove to Charming, the scent made his chest tighten with worry. This shouldn't have happened, what the fuck was he playing at? He looked at his kutte laying on the passenger seat and sighed. He refocused his attention to the road and drove straight to Scoops.

When he got there the sight of the bikes lining up at the side of the road threw his panic into overdrive and it took him a few seconds to get himself together enough to get out the car. He grabbed his kutte, not daring to put it on, and braced himself for the onslaught as he opened the door.

All the guys were waiting for him with Gemma, Nero, Harley, and Unser.

No sooner had he entered the shop Jax had him against the wall by the throat.

"What the fuck were you playing at?! This is your fucking fault." He yelled in Juice's face.

Juice shoved him off, ready to swing back if he had to. "Not now Jax! We gotta sort this shit."

Chibs pulled Jax off. "He's not worth it boyo."

Juice let his rage take over then as he saw the looks his brothers were giving him. "Do you even know why Jax wants me dead?" He asked them. No one met his gaze and Jax told him to shut up.

"I'll take that as a no. It's because he killed Darvany and I figured it out."

The guys all looked to Jax then who rolled his shoulders. "This true Jackie boy?" Chibs glared at him.

"She was gunna fucking rat on us." He justified calmly.

"Oh Jax man, are you fucking serious?" Tig added.

Gemma wasn't having any of this, however, and broke it up. "Can we sort this shit out later? My daughter is out there somewhere doing god knows what. We have bigger fucking problems."

Jax nodded. "Ok. Chapel everyone." He looked to Juice. "You too."

Juice followed them upstairs and shoved his kutte into Chibs' hands before standing over at the back of the room while the others took their seats.

Jax rolled his eyes. "Take a fucking seat Juice. You're gunna have to fix this mess."

Juice made a noise in response that almost sounded like a growl but walked over to his empty chair next to Chibs.

Rat came jogging up the stairs as they were just about to start, obviously coming from Roxy's work. Jax looked expectantly at him.

"No sign. The boss gave her his car and she's gone." He sat at his seat, eyeing Juice nervously from his spot.

"Ok Juice. Explain."

xxx xxx

The car had pulled into a dark warehouse, and she could hear the heavy metal clang of the doors being locked behind her. Roxy stopped herself from sobbing as she was dragged from the car into a dimly lit room and tied down to a chair. They said nothing to her, simply looking her over, leering at her in her tight work slacks and blouse.

The men left after they tied her down, leaving her in the dark room to contemplate her fate. She assumed this had to to do with the club, it was obvious. But how they'd found her and why they wanted her was a mystery.

Roxy tried wiggling out of the restraints but it was no use. They were on tight. The chain biting in to her wrists as she pulled at them.

She didn't know how long she was alone in the room before she started crying. She was petrified. Roxy had always been scared of the dark and knowing the dangers lurking in the shadows was feeding in to her fear. The sobs were continuous as they wracked her body and she could hardly catch her breath, trembling with fear she tried to reign it in and calm down. Not wanting to be too loud and draw their attention back to her unnecessarily.

Before long the door to the small dark room opened and three men stepped inside while a fourth stayed at the door. Roxy started shaking again with the intrusion and was terrified of what was coming.

One of them turned on the light as the other set up a video recorder. The third man moved closer, Roxy just seeing his face under the dim light.

"W-what do you want? Please I don't have a-any money." She squeaked out.

The suited man standing in front of her let out a low chuckle. "Henry Lin." He gestured to himself. "And we don't want your money. We want what your brother took from us."

"J-Jax?"

"Yes Jax." He mocked her tone. "He took my money, my heroin, my guns, and some of my men before he shut down my brothels and massage parlours."

"I don't know anything about that." Roxy whispered.

Lin looked right into her eyes before speaking. "I know you don't sweetheart. But this'll get his attention. You're his sister, and an Old Lady. It'll get the message across."

Roxy's chest tightened and she tried to wriggle in the restraints again.

"Don't worry, we'll have you out of them in a moment." He turned away from her and looked towards the video camera. The operator signalling for him to speak.

"Mr. Teller, we thought we needed to do something a little drastic to get your attention. It just helps that your sister is such a pretty little thing." He walked around the back of Roxy's chair, trailing a hand up her arm as he went.

"P-please, please don't do anything to me." She begged under his touch.

He bent down to speak in her ear from behind her. "Oh we'll get to that." He stood back up. "Jax, if you want to see your little sister again in one piece then I suggest you return my drugs, money, and all the guns to me. The Sons will hand over their deals to us and we'll be square."

He gestured to the other men to come closer and Roxy watched them move with wild eyes.

"You have until tomorrow night, until then your sister can enjoy our hospitality. It's only fair on my men seeing as you shut down my whore houses."

Roxy screamed as the two men unlocked her restraints and pulled her roughly from the chair. She thrashed in their arms as they dragged her over to the bench on the side of the room but it was no use.

xxx xxx

The guys were going in circles trying to figure out who the hell would take Roxy and why. It was already late into the evening, Roxy had been gone for 10 hours now and they were no closer to knowing who'd taken her.

Juice was sitting at one of the booths on his laptop, he'd hacked into the traffic cam network trying to backtrack the car and see if there was anyone following it. So far he'd come up with nothing.

Rat came down from upstairs and grabbed two beers, walking over to Juice.

He sat opposite him in the booth. "Hey, how's it going?"

Juice rubbed his hands over his head, the slight stubble rough against his palms. "Nothing. To be honest I don't even know where to start. I can't think straight." Rat handed him the beer. "Thanks. What's going on up there?"

"Chibs is pretty pissed with Jax that we've been hunting you down for his fuck up."

Juice made a noise that kind of sounded like agreement. "I did fuck up too though. Shouldn't have told shit to Nero."

"Nero told us you were pretty fucked up though."

"No excuse really."

Juice continued clicking away and Rat was about to say something else when they heard tyres squealing and a brick launched through the front windows. Juice and Rat hit the deck, waiting for gunshots, but none came, just the sound of a car roaring off into the distance.

The rest of the club came barreling down the stairs, guns drawn, only to find Juice and Rat tentatively walking over to the brick, it had a white note wrapped around it.

Rat picked it up first and pulled the paper off, a small black USB stick falling out of it. "It uh, says its for you Jax."

Jax walked over to grab the note as Juice picked up the USB and turned it over in his hands.

"It just says 'watch me' on it." Jax looked to Juice who was holding the USB. "Upstairs, Juice bring the laptop."

Everyone hurried upstairs as Chucky emerged from the back room with a dust pan and brush.

"Watch the front." Rat told him as he followed Juice and the laptop upstairs.

Juice settled in his seat at the table and plugged the flash drive into his laptop and waited for it to load.

The folder opened and it only contained one file titled 'Roxanna Morrow'. Juice's heart dropped as he clicked on the file.

It loaded into the video program and automatically started playing. The guys watching on as they saw a man shuffling forward in a dark room, then behind him they spotted Roxy strapped to a chair. The lens focused and they could tell the man was in fact Henry Lin. Juice's eyes were glued to Roxy though, he could see the tear stains on her cheeks and his heart broke for her. As he watched Lin's hand trail up her arm, however, rage boiled in his veins.

Juice hadn't been listening to Lin's words, until he heard "until then your sister can enjoy our hospitality. It's only fair on my men seeing as you shut down my whore houses." Then he panicked.

He watched on as the two goons took of the restraints and dragged Roxy off screen kicking and screaming. They couldn't see her for a moment before they heard Lin's voice as the camera turned. "Enjoy the show boys."

Juice saw the two guys ripping at Roxy's clothes before he abruptly stood from the chair, the guys swore around him as they realised what was happening. The sound of Roxy's cries for help cut through Juice like a knife. Then he heard her call his name and he threw his chair at the wall.

Jax shut the laptop and pushed it away, he was calm as he spoke. "Rat, take him outside to cool off. We need to think."

Rat pulled Juice over to the door and pushed him to go down the stairs. They went out the back door into the service alley and Juice started pacing.

Rat pulled a joint from his pocket, lit it and offered it to Juice.

Juice took a few drags before handing it back. "Fuck. What do we do? I have no idea what we do here." Juice's heart was racing and he just needed someone to take charge. Right now he wanted to rip those guys limb from limb and that was clouding his ability to think.

Images from the video were racing through his mind, those guys hands on her, her cries for help, his name, everything just on a constant loop. It was his fault for not being there. She was right outside his room, he should have been waiting for her.

He felt his chest tightening as his breathing increased and Rat panicked when he saw Juice lean on the wall and slide down to the floor clutching his chest. He ran inside and called for Chibs who came rushing down the stairs.

"I think he's having a heart attack." He said as Chibs rushed over to Juice.

"Nah, panic attack. Get me a glass of water." He ordered before turning back to Juice. "Breath with me Juicy Boy, cmon."

It took a few minutes but Juice slowly started slowing his breathing. Chibs checked his pulse which was still racing but he was happy he was slowing himself down.

"S'alright Juicy just take it easy." Chibs sat next to him as Rat brought the bottle of water out. "Drink this and just slow your breathing right down."

Juice opened the bottle with shaking hands and gulped it down. Rat went back inside leaving Chibs and Juice to sit in silence for a bit.

"I wanna say sorry for what I said the other day. I said it not out of malice, but to get you to run while you had the chance."

Juice chuckled lowly. "Yeah, well. It didn't come across that way."

"Aye." Chibs considered Juice for a moment. "I should have known that. But now you gotta keep it together. Roxy's gunna need you after this."

Again Juice let out a derisive chuckle. "It won't matter what Roxy wants or needs. Jax'll call for mayhem and it'll be done."

Chibs shook his head. "There won't be mayhem Juice. Club is probably gunna have to deal with you both for minor sanctions but not mayhem."

"Both?" Juice looked to Chibs.

"Jackie boy lied about what you'd done, that's not on. And well, you still spilled a club secret to a non member so that's wrong no matter how high you were. But it's a misdemeanour."

"Fucking hell!" Juice threw the water bottle across the alley and hit the metal garbage bin. "None of this shit woulda happened if it wasn't for Jax and his bullshit hunt for me. We wouldn't have had to run." He dropped his head in his hands. "And now this? How the fuck is she gunna come back from that Chibs? I couldn't even watch that fucking tape and she lived it."

Chibs noticed the increase in his breathing again and put a hand on his arm. "Look there's nothin we can do about it now. But what we can do is find out where the fuck she is before anything else happens."

Juice nodded, looking to Chibs for the first time since he came out. The small lights buzzed above them, letting out the smallest amount of yellow light. But it was enough to show Juice the sorrow in Chibs' eyes.

"Yeah. Gotta see if there's anything the video can show us." He stood up, offering Chibs his hand and pulled him up too.

"You gunna be ok to do that Juicy Boy?"

"Probably not, but I don't have a choice." He led the way inside and made his way back into the Chapel to be met by the rest of his brothers.

Tig was holding his kutte as he approached him. He passed it to Juice and gestured for him to put it on. Once Juice had his arms through and had shrugged it up his shoulders Tig pulled him in for a hug.

"I'm sorry brother." He pulled back. Juice smiled slightly, glad the truth was finally out and he had his family back. "But we need you to find her. I, uh, I watched some more of the video, but there's no identifying markers. Only thing I can tell is its a warehouse. No outside noises, nothin."

Juice breathed a sigh of relief that he wouldn't have to watch the footage, but he had to ask. "I-is she... Ok? At the end?"

Tig cleared his throat and looked behind him to Happy who had also watched the video with Tig. The only two who had the stomach to do it.

"Uhh... I guess..." Tig was lost for words so Happy stepped in.

"She was conscious." He said gruffly. "That's a good thing." He added at Juice's twisted expression.

Juice nodded and made his way to the table where the rest of the club was sitting, trying not to pay attention to the conversation going on, some of them having heard the footage as Tig and Happy watched it.

Jax was ashen faced, sitting in the President's seat, he watched Juice open the laptop again. "Bro, you don't wanna watch it."

"I'm not going to." Juice snapped. "I'm looking at the file details to see if there's any location markers."

Jax nodded as he watched Juice work. He didn't really know what to say to him, he did feel bad now for what he had done. But at the time he just panicked. He couldn't have the rest of the club finding out what Juice knew.

Now this rested on his shoulders. Yeah the retribution against the Chinese was needed for Tara, but it wouldn't have landed on Roxy if Juice hadn't been in hiding.

xxx xxx

Roxy lay, shivering, in the cold dark room. From what she gathered it was probably early morning, but she couldn't know for sure.

Three more of Lin's men had been and gone, always recording their interactions. She knew they'd be sending them to the guys but she couldn't bear to think about anyone seeing them.

She prayed Juice was ok, that the club hasn't hurt him, or that he wasn't too worried. In her best thoughts she hoped they were all together, with Juice, trying to track her down. But she knew that was a long shot.

She knew she'd passed out at some point after the last guy had been in, he'd punched her when she fought back and it was the final blow. When she woke up she was alone and frozen. She made an attempt to get off the bed but sitting up sent shockwaves of pain through her body so she gave up and curled back up on her side and started crying again.

She wanted Juice, she kept imagining him bursting through the door to come get her. But then reality would set in and she figured she wasn't going to make it out of here alive.

She drifted off again picturing Juice's smiling face as he proposed to her at the beach, wanting that to be the last thing she remembered.


	96. Chapter 96

**A/N: hello everyone! Sorry it's so sad but I'm glad you're enjoying th drama!**

 **Thanks for the reviews sliverofmelody, Lennon, and AngR as usual! Love hearing what you think. And to Megan! So glad you're enjoying the story, I love hearing what everyone thinks!**

Juice had fallen asleep at his laptop and woke with a start. Gemma was in the Chapel with a plate of breakfast and a coffee for him and her heels had woken him up. Happy and Tig were asleep on the sofas behind him and the rest of the guys filed in behind Gemma with their food. They'd never usually eat in Chapel but today they didn't care. They had shit to do.

When they all had their plates and were situated at the table Gemma was told to leave. Before she did though she had to ask what was happening.

"Please, do you know who took her? I couldn't sleep a wink last night."

Jax looked to his mother then to Chibs, who nodded urging Jax to speak.

"Chinese took Roxy." He explained to Gemma the same things Tig had filled Juice in on last night. The retribution for Tara that had gone awry and had now landed on Roxy's shoulders.

Juice glared at Gemma from across the table. He'd not been happy about Gemma using the Chinese as an excuse but he didn't realise how far she'd gone with it. Jax needed to know the truth. That would probably help this situation, if they knew the Chinese weren't really responsible for Tara then maybe they could apologise and get Roxy back in one piece.

Then they'd kill them all slowly.

Juice's eye bored holes through Gemma and she shifted uncomfortably where she she stood before attempting to leave.

"Gemma." Juice called. "You need to tell them."

"Tell them what Juice?" She raised an eyebrow.

"About Tara." He replied simply.

"What about Tara?" Jax interrupted, curiosity piquing.

Gemma said nothing so Juice interrupted. "Well?" Gemma tried to walk out, ignoring Juice's calling. "Ok then." He turned to Jax. "That night I went to find your mum like I'd said. Went by your place and Unser's truck is in the drive way. Roosevelt was outside and we heard crashing inside. So we ran in. Get in there and find Tara on the floor, bleeding out while Gemma sits on the floor next to her. Roosevelt goes to call it in and Gemma shot him." He sighed as Jax punched his fist into the table.

Jax turned to Gemma. "You tried to kill Tara?!" He started walking towards her.

"No, Jax... Baby please, I thought she was making a deal, that she was going to rat..."

"Get. Out." He growled in his mother's face. "Get out and never, ever, come back. I don't want to see you anywhere near Charming again."

"But Roxy I-"

"The last thing she'll need is your toxic bullshit. It's your fault the Chinese have her. If we hadn't gone after them none of this would have happened. You need to leave before I put a bullet in your skull." Gemma broke down as the others watched on. "NOW!" Jax roared.

Gemma nodded and shakily walked to the door as the men looked on, stunned with this new information.

"I'm sorry." She whispered before turning around and walking out the door.

Jax took a couple of seconds to reign in his anger before he turned back to face his brothers. He sat back down in his seat and looked to Juice.

"Can you explain what happened? Why did you leave Tara?"

Juice looked down at his untouched breakfast before pushing the plate away. He couldn't eat it. He looked back up at Jax and decided to rip the band aid off.

"I thought Tara was dead. There was just so much blood and... And just Gemma shot Roosevelt there was just no way... So we left. You'd just told me that I'd betrayed you so I knew I had to run. So your Ma helped hide me in return for me not telling the club about her and Tara. I like to think it was for Roxy but I know she was just trying to get rid of me to keep her secret and didn't have the nerve to kill me herself."

Jax nodded. He was quiet for a few moments. "This is on me. This whole mess is on me. Every circumstance comes back to a shit decision on my part and... And I can't change those choices but I can change the future of this club... After we get Roxy back I think I'll step down as president." Jax laid the bombshell.

The club's reactions were mixed, some disbelieving and some angry, but they all quietened down after a moment.

"Plus, Tara's going to need a lot of help during recovery from this, and she deserves my full attention. I can't give her that while president. And you guys need someone level headed who's not going to let the constant need for revenge drag the club down."

"Aye, Jackie. I think that's a smart plan." Chibs said. "But for now we have to find Roxy."

Juice leaned back in his chair and rubbed his hands over his face. "Nothing on traffic cams, no location markers in the video or gps markers in the file details. I literally do not know what to do. They haven't even given us any details for an exchange, so what do they want us to do?"

Quinn piped up. "Tacoma and Rogue River are on their way to us, Indian Hills is only sending two guys, but should be enough if we need men."

"Thanks Quinn. Hap, what's the news on guns?" Jax asked.

"Got our emergency supply ready to go. AK's. Plenty of bullets." He replied.

"Ok cool. Everyone still locked down at RedWoody?" Jax directed back to Chibs.

"Aye. Montez and the SAMTAZ guys are on it. But nothin going on."

Everyone was quiet for a moment while they tried to figure out what to do now before Tig eventually piped up. "Hey Juice could you track down property records for Lin and his crew?"

Juice perked up at this suggestion. It was obvious and somewhat easy for him to do so he was pissed he didn't think of it first.

"Yeah, can't believe I didn't think of that." He pulled the laptop over and started typing away. Breakfast forgotten.

The others were tucking in and waiting on anything Juice had to say. Jax was on the phone to Barosky to see if he knew any Triad warehouses down at the port while Chibs called Tyler to see if the Niners had any info.

Jax flicked the phone shut and walked back to the table. "Barosky is gunna have a rake around, see what he can find out."

Chibs rejoined. "Same with Tyler. Should we reach out to Marks?"

Jax considered for a moment. "Nah. Don't wanna involve him right now."

"Aye. Well Tyler's offered Niner help if we need it."

"Good. Keep him on call. Might be good to have them come along when we find these bastards."

Chucky came running up the stairs and burst into the Chapel. "A little girl brought this in!" He was waving his hands around, another little black flash drive in between his mechanical fingers.

Juice's stomach dropped at the sight. He knew what was coming and it ripped him apart.

Jax took it and brought it over to Juice who was frozen at the table.

"Want us to watch it Juice?" Tig offered.

Juice cleared his throat as he put it in the laptop.

"Maybe." He shrugged, clicking on the file Roxanna Morrow 2, ignoring 3 and 4 for now.

Juice held his breath as the video popped up on screen and started playing. This time relief coursed through him when he saw Roxy was back in the chair, albeit in her underwear.

"So gentlemen. You've had the night to consider my offer." Lin began, Juice noticed the fresh suit, different from the other video. "The drop off will be at my loading dock, you know the one? It's where you followed my shipment from. 5pm today." He turned to gesture towards Roxy who was sitting quietly in the background, not daring to move a muscle but not looking at the camera. "As you can see your girl is doing ok. We've been treating her well. But we'd like to give her a parting gift." He clapped his hands and the two men from the last video moved forward.

Juice gulped as he watched them fiddle with something. Then the jet of a butane torch roared to life. Roxy looked up and moved back in the seat, breathing fast as she panicked.

"What are you doing?!" She asked, panic in her voice.

Juice had a white knuckle grip on the table as he tried to figure out what the fuck they were going to do to her. He couldn't see in the dark film what was actually happening but Roxy's scream pierced the air.

"Motherfuckers!" Happy growled.

"What? What did they do?" Juice demanded.

"They've branded her." He said lowly.

The two men pulled away from Roxy and Juice stared at the screen willing her to move, her head was hanging down and he couldn't tell what was going on.

"Just so you can remember who you FUCKED OVER when you messed with us." Lin yelled off camera and it cut out.

Juice stared at the blank screen for a moment and looked up to the others crowded behind him.

"She's ok right? Happy? She'll be ok from that yeah?"

Happy nodded slowly. "Yeah. Body goes into shock." He spoke from experience and Juice shuddered.

"We need to find her. Now! We can't wait until 5pm, we don't have shit to give them, do we?"

Jax shook his head. "I'll call Barosky again."

xxx xxx

Roxy came to still tied to the chair in the dark room. She tried to move but was met with the pain again and when she looked around she couldn't see anything and a shooting pain coursed through her chest. She looked down and could see the burned flesh on her chest right where her crow was.

She gasped and felt the need to throw up. She retched a couple of times but nothing happened. She tried breathing deeper but she was shaking too much to breathe properly.

"Motherfuckers." She sighed. "I hope the guys gut you when they get here." She whispered.

She remembered Lin talking about 5pm on the video so that gave her hope. If the guys didn't get here she'd see them there. She didn't think Lin would kill her now, he'd kept her alive so far so he probably honestly did want a trade off.

Roxy kept thinking on the positive, seeing the guys at the trade off, perhaps having the chance to make an escape, anything to keep her mind off what was happening. Her fight or flight instinct had kicked in and everything now was about survival, she didn't dare think about what happened last night or she'd lose her resolve.

xxx xxx

"Harley's goin mad blowin up my phone." Happy tossed his phone on the table.

"Don't blame her. She n Rox have been inseparable since they were babies." Tig blew out a stream of smoke.

It was only Happy, Tig, Chibs, and Juice sitting in Chapel, everyone else were out and about chasing down leads.

Juice eventually slammed the lid on his laptop and pushed it away from him. Tig and Happy had taken the bullet of watching the other videos on the flash drive earlier just in case there was any info in them but nothing. Just footage to wind them up and to embarrass Roxy in front of them all. Lin was really trying to twist the knife in.

"No luck?" Tig asked.

"Only properties registered to Lin are the whore houses, the restaurants, and his house. I checked it out on google earth and no warehouse or anything like that. I have no idea where she is and Jax has no way of giving Lin what he wants... So we're fucked."

"Just gunna have to ambush them at the trade off." Tig offered.

"That's if they even bring her."

The guys were interrupted however when Chibs' phone rang.

"Yeah... Aye... Ok we'll meet you there... Tacoma can do that. Alright. Bye."

Juice looked at him expectantly. "Barosky came through on a warehouse down at the docks. Registered to a company of one of Lin's affiliates. Been a Merc parked outside all night and morning. Jax wants us to meet him there. They're doing surveillance now."

"Thank fuck!" Juice jumped up and moved towards the door with Chibs, Happy, and Tig hot on his heels.

They checked they all had their guns and Juice grabbed a red bull from the fridge, he'd need it for this, he needed to be on top of his game after his little sleep last night.

Chibs had another phone call as they saddled up, closing it he turned to the other three and filled them in. "Jax again. They're fairly certain it's them alright. Rats got the van, and the rest of the guys are on their way."

"Let's get to it then." Juice commanded, kicking his bike over as he drained the last of his red bull.

Juice followed in formation as the four bikes made their way to the address Jax gave them. They were told to park their bikes a distance away from the warehouse so as not to alert Lin and his men. Rat was to meet them with the van and drive them the rest of the way.

It took them 20 minutes to get to the pick up point, Barosky had two of his dirty officers there to watch over the crowd of bikes and Rat ushered them into the van before taking off towards Jax.

Jax and the rest of the SAMCRO and SAMTAC guys were waiting in an abandoned warehouse opposite Lin's warehouse.

Juice, Chibs, Tig, and Happy entered from the back and made their way to the front of the building where they found the crew. The front windows faced on to the side of Lin's warehouse and they had a good vantage point of both the front and rear of the building.

"So what's happening?" Juice asked as soon as he was within earshot. He ignored his brothers' apologies and sorry wishes for Roxy, only focused on getting her out right now. She was so close he could feel it and he just wanted to storm the place, but they'd have to check it out first, be smart about it in case they caused a shoot out or something.

"Well so far we've only seen those two cars and ten different guys, but that's it." Jax informed him.

"Should be pretty straight up." Added Quinn. "We got the muscle and gun power, we're winning this fight."

"So how we playin this Jackie?" Chibs questioned.

"Well I'm thinkin, Hap take a group round back, Tig a group round the far side to cover all exits, the rest of us storm the front. We think they have Roxy in a smaller office room within the warehouse, but easy fire until we can be sure we know where she is. Chibs, Juice, and Rat you're on for finding her, let us handle the cover you just go find her in case Lin tries to pull anything."

Juice nodded and looked to Chibs.

"Sounds like a plan Jackie Boy. Guess it's time we suited up?"

xxx xxx

The nausea was constant by the stage, Roxy hadn't eaten since yesterday morning's breakfast, and even that she had only picked at. The nerves of the run yesterday had slowed her appetite so she wasn't exactly interested in her toast. Now she'd give anything for the slice of toast she'd thrown in the trash.

Lin's guys had given her some water once or twice but having them near her to pour the water down her throat made her want to be sick more so she'd stopped asking.

Roxy was wallowing in self pity until she heard some muffled footsteps walking up to the door, the light coming in under the door flickering with the movement of the feet.

Roxy prayed it would be her saviours, like it was every time, but when the door opened it simply showed one of Lin's men, the rough one. He took a lot of sadistic pleasure in her cries for help.

"Couldn't find a real date, huh?" She baited him.

"You're a lot less effort sweetheart." He laughed as he made his way over.

Roxy felt his hands, warm and heavy on her skin in the cold room as he removed her restraints once again. He pulled her up roughly and pushed her over towards the desk, tying her hands behind her once again.

Roxy sobbed quietly as she knew what was coming. "Please, please don't do this."

"Shut up, bitch." He slapped her.

Roxy didn't hear anything as he pushed her forwards onto the cool wood of the desk, her mind was clouding over to shield her from the pain she was about to experience. It was better that way.

She felt him move behind her but then the sound of gunshots pierced through her brain fog and caught her attention.

Roxy snapped her eyes over to the direction of the door as she heard boots thundering towards it, she didn't know whether to breathe a sigh of relief or not.

Then the door burst open and the sound of Chibs' gruff Scottish accent broke through her resolve and she burst into tears. The Triad tried pulling Roxy towards him, however he was spear tackled from her reach by Juice as he let out a ferocious growl at the sight of his hands on Roxy.

Roxy moved behind the desk and curled into herself as the pair scuffled on the ground. Roxy could just see Juice roll on top of the man, his hands around the Triad's neck; but then he pulled back and grabbed his gun, Roxy screwed her eyes shut and put her head in between her legs.

The shot ringing out in the echoing room made Roxy's head ring and for a few seconds she couldn't hear her name, when the ringing stopped Juice's voice was loud and incredibly close, startling her and when he placed his hand on her arm she let out a blood curdling scream.

"Roxy, baby, it's me, I'm here." He tried soothing but the sound of gunfire raging beyond the door really didn't help.

Juice knelt up on his knees and pulled off his hoodie and gently pressed it into her hand. Roxy watched him wide eyed as he pulled his kutte back on.

Her brain started functioning and the roaring of the gunfire died down. Roxy looked down at the hoodie as Juice's voice rambled in the background. She slowly pulled the hoodie on, covering her bra and panties, wincing as it rubbed over the burn on her chest. She turned and looked up into Juice's hopeful eyes and burst into tears again.

This time she didn't flinch when Juice touched her arm and he took that as a good sign.

"Roxy, baby, I need to get you out of here. Can you stand?" Roxy nodded dumbly. "Ok, I'm going to take you out of this room."

Roxy stood shakily with him and leaned heavily against him as they walked across the room, Roxy catching a brief glimpse of the Triad's lifeless body lying next to the bench. They followed behind Chibs and Rat down a short corridor and into an open warehouse. Roxy slowed when she heard the raucous noise the Sons were all making and when they rounded the corner out of the hallway she stopped dead when all eyes fell to her.

Juice noticed her breathing quicken as her eyes darted around the room and he pulled her back into the corridor. "Roxy, you've got to slow down your breathing ok. You're safe with me." Roxy nodded but avoided his gaze, she heard Chibs call out before Rat appeared round the corner. Juice shifted next to her and started talking again. "Rat is going to take you to the hospital. Is that ok?"

Roxy shrugged.

"I'm gunna stay here for a little bit and sort this out then I'll come get you. Ok?"

Roxy shrugged again.

"Rat, can you help her to the van?"

Rat nodded and advanced on Roxy who stepped back with her arms up, she did not want any other males touching he right now. After a second she nodded and moved forwards. Rat took the lead and headed into the warehouse again, but thankfully skirted around the side as Jax drew everyone's attention to him.

Lin was tied to a chair in front of the group and Juice honed in on him, letting Rat lead Roxy to the car he advanced on Lin, taking great pleasure in the sound of bone crunching as he landed his first punch to Lin's face.


	97. Chapter 97

**A/N: omg thank you for the reviews everyone! Probably my most reviewed chapter so far haha.**

 **Glad you're enjoying the direction, sorry it took so long to update. I didn't have as much time over the weekend to write as I thought I would. But gave me story planning time so we're good.**

 **Enjoy!**

Chibs had to pull Juice back before he knocked Lin out. The others were cheering for Juice to go on but Jax needed to ask for some information first. Juice didn't pay attention to the discussion as he shook his arms out, his hands numb from the repeated punching. Chibs was saying something to him but he couldn't focus, his mind was trained on Lin and the hatred he had for the man. He didn't actually personally touch Roxy but he ordered everything and he just wanted to cause him pain.

He was broken from his thoughts when he saw Jax pull his gun and shoot Lin in the crotch. The yell of pain pulled Juice into the moment and he walked back over to Jax.

Juice looked down at a bloodied and panting Lin rolling on the floor. Jax nudged him and handed him the gun.

"Finish him." He said and walked away.

Juice looked down into Lin's pleading eyes, fresh blood running down his face from the various cuts and bruises Juice had inflicted.

Usually he'd feel guilty about something like this, he'd beat himself up over the kill regardless of how he could justify it. But now?

Now he felt nothing but cold hatred. He raised the gun and aimed it at Lin's head and just smiled as he begged for his life. Juice looked one more time into Lin's eyes and savoured the fear he saw in them.

Then pulled the trigger.

xxx xxx

"Oh my god Roxy!" Harley was waiting in the emergency room waiting area while Rat helped her in.

Roxy had said nothing the entire ride back to Charming, simply stared out the window at the passing buildings and scenery. It reminded her, vaguely, of the time Juice had come to save her from that weird guy from the club that had spiked her drink. She wished Juice was here now, but he'd probably be busy for some time, and she didn't blame him.

She allowed Harley to pull her in for a hug as Rat ran over to the triage nurse behind the desk and explained the situation.

Within a couple of minutes the nurses had escorted Harley and Roxy back into the ward and into a private room. Roxy sat on the bed while the nurse set about organising her paperwork while they waited on a doctor. Again Roxy said nothing, but allowed Harley to hold her hand.

"Ma'am, my name is Dr. Wilson. I'm going to be examining you today, but first can I ask what happened?" The doctor gently questioned when she arrived.

"Didn't he tell you before?" Harley asked seeing as Rat had already told them and she had felt Roxy stiffen beside her at the question.

"Yes but I need to hear the details from the patient." She turned back to Roxy. "Can you tell me?"

Roxy took a deep breath and looked once at Harley before shifting her gaze and focusing on a spot on the wall. "Uh, I was raped, a few times by different guys. They kept me overnight in a warehouse." Harley squeezed Roxy's hand and stroked her thumb over her fingers.

The doctor sighed. "Ok. I'm going to have to do a rape kit and examine any other wounds you have. I'll also need to take blood tests and a urine sample if that's ok with you?" Roxy nodded and the doctor gently explained the process to her. "Well excuse ourselves for a moment if you'd undress and put on this gown-" the nurse handed Roxy a paper gown- "and let us know when you're ready. Place your clothes in this special bin here as the police may be able to extract evidence from them."

Roxy jumped off the bed then. "No police, please no police-" she started panicking not wanting the police to trace this back to the club. She was too tired to make up some cover story that would satisfy the club.

"Ok, ok, I won't call the police." Dr. Wilson assured.

Roxy relaxed slightly and Dr. Wilson and the nurse excused themselves while Roxy moved to the bathroom. Harley waited outside the door while Roxy peed in the cup and tried to change into the gown.

Roxy peeled off Juice's hoodie, wincing as the movements pulled at her sore muscles. The hoodie rubbed on her chest where the brand was and Roxy took a moment to study it in the mirror.

The brand was a triangle with, what she guessed was a Chinese symbol in the centre. It was done with a very very thin wire so it was delicate in its obstruction of her crow. But her crow was ruined, the bird's wings were clipped by two sides of the triangle and the Ortiz banner was scored through with the base of the triangle. The mark was angry and red right now, freshly bleeding with the movements of her changing pulling at the skin.

She sighed and peeled her underwear off and hastily pulled the gown on over her body, not wanting to look at herself. When she saw the shower in the corner of the little bathroom she contemplated jumping in, but she was interrupted by a knock on the door.

The soft knock made Roxy jump and clutch at her chest in panic, which in turn made her yelp in pain as her hand clutched at her brand burn.

"You ok Roxy? The doctors back." Harley gently asked.

"Y-yeah coming." Roxy answered thickly before opening the door and joining them in the room.

"Do you want me to stay with you Roxy?" Harley asked as Roxy slowly climbed on the bed.

Roxy nodded and clutched her hand as the doctor and nurse began setting things up.

xxx xxx

Juice rode as fast as he could back to St. Thomas, his heart pounding in his chest as he darted through the traffic.

Chibs and Tig were hot on his heels as they made their way into the hospital, Juice heading straight for the information desk.

"Roxanna Morrow." He panted while he tried to catch his breath.

The nurse manning the desk eyed the group suspiciously before placing a phone call.

"She currently has a visitor, she will come down and see if you're allowed in."

Juice eyed her curiously. "Why? I'm her Old Man."

"I'm sure you are." She glared.

"What the fu-" Juice was cut off by Harley's voice ringing through the hall.

"Juice, finally! C'mon!" She waved him over.

"Told you I was."

"Oh I believe you." She said in a snarky tone. Juice knew then that she was probably questioning if he'd been the one to hurt her, his jaw clenching at the thought. But he ignored the snarky nurse and turned to run over to Harley.

Tig and Chibs crowded round as they asked Harley what was happening.

Harley shifted uncomfortably. "How much do you know about what happened?" She questioned.

"We got the video footage." Juice snarked. "How is she? Where is she?"

Harley placed a hand on his arm. "She's up in the ward, Rat is outside her room. The doctor just did the rape kit-" Juice swore- "and they're giving her some antibiotics and stuff like that."

Juice waved off the details. "But how is she?"

"I don't know Juice. She's not really saying much, I think she's in shock to be honest. They're gunna keep her in over night but the doctor said the sheriff will be coming in the morning. She didn't call the police but apparently they are alerted for stuff like this. Roxy won't talk to them but just a heads up because it'll look weird."

Chibs sighed. "I'll call Jarry. Make it go away."

"Ok. Thanks Chibs." Juice said. "Can you take me to her?" He asked Harley impatiently.

"Ok." She pulled him along behind her, Chibs and Tig bringing up the rear.

They ran through the maze of corridors and up a lift. Harley stopped outside the room and pulled Tig and Chibs back.

"We'll wait out here."

Juice nodded and knocked on the door. There was no response but Harley nodded for him to go in so he opened the door.

"Roxy?" He saw her lying on the bed, wrapped up tightly in the bed sheet, she looked over when he came in but sucked in a gasp and turned back to look at the ceiling again.

Roxy had wanted nothing more than for Juice to be there with her but now he was here in her room she could look at him. She was relieved to see him, and be safe, and she knew they'd disposed of Lin and his crew, but now she looked at him she knew something had changed in their relationship.

"Hey, how are you?" He asked as he sat next to her. "Actually that's a stupid question but I just-" he grabbed her hand and she flinched which made him jump and let go. "Oh shit, I'm sorry babe."

Roxy cleared her throat and turned to look at him, hating the expression on his face. "No. It's ok, it's just... You gave me a fright."

"Oh, sorry." He looked at Roxy nervously. "So what.. What did they say?"

"Not much. Just wound dressings and stuff, courses of antibiotics in case of any STIs and gave me a morning after pill, not that it matters-" Juice winced- "cleaned the thing on my chest and here we are." She looked nervously at him. "It's ruined my crow." She started crying and Juice moved to pull her into a hug.

This time Roxy grabbed onto him and squeezed him tight clinging to him as she cried.

"It's ruined now. That's the worst part."

Juice stroked her hair. "No, baby, don't worry, it doesn't matter."

She pushed him off. "Yes. Yes it does. That crow was everything and now it's ruined. Everything's ruined."

"No, Roxy it's not. It's gunna be ok." He tried reassuring her again.

"No Juice it's not!" She yelled getting up. "Nothing is going to be ok!" She hopped off the bed and locked herself in the little bathroom.

"Roxy! Roxy?" Juice shouted through the door, completely confused at what happened.

Harley came in the room to see what the commotion was about, they'd heard Roxy shouting from outside.

"Juice? What's going on?"

"I don't know she just-" he gestured to the bathroom. "- and I don't know..."

Harley sighed. "I'll talk to her. She's just a bit... I dunno. Look you go and get some rest. You know she's safe, I'm here and someone will be posted outside the door. It's probably just hard for her with you right now."

"It shouldn't be though." He turned to the bathroom door again. "Roxy I love you."

"That's why it's hard Juice. Look just go get some rest. I'll text you."

Juice sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. He knew Harley was right but he wanted to be here, he wanted to be there for Roxy.

"Ok. I'll- uh- I'll go." Juice opened and closed the door behind him. Stepping out into the hall he felt like someone had punched the wind out of him. He had no idea what the fuck he was supposed to do here.

Chibs and Tig had been waiting on the seats just down from Roxy's room and made their way over when they saw Juice.

"Everything ok?" Tig enquired.

Juice shrugged. "I dunno she was crying and I tried to... And then... Fuck I dunno. She locked herself in the bathroom. She was freaking out because they ruined her crow. Of all the things. And I told her it was ok and it didn't matter but... Harley's gunna stay with her. Told me to go get some sleep. But I can't leave her here."

Tig squeezed Juice's shoulder. "She's probably gunna be... Out of sorts... For a while bro. It's not you."

"I guess."

"Look, come back to Scoops with us. We'll have a lot to talk about. Rat can stay here."

"Yeah I suppose we do have a lot to talk about with everything that happened before all this." Juice hadn't forgotten Chibs' words to him at the diner and he knew there would need to be bridges mended.

Chibs felt guilty as hell for how everything went down. He'd always been close to Juice and felt somewhat responsible for him so when Jax told him he'd betrayed the club Chibs took it hard. Now he knew the truth behind everything he felt awful.

"Yeah. Don't stress though Juicy Boy. We'll sort it out."

"Ok. I'm just gunna say goodbye." Juice knocked on the door and opened it when Harley said to come in.

Roxy was back on the bed, her eyes puffy from crying still.

"I'm sorry J. I'm just a bit... out of sorts."

Juice walked over slowly, trying not to startle her again. "It's ok you don't have to be sorry. I'm just gunna head down to Scoops and sort out some stuff. Maybe gives you some time to rest and... stuff. Harley's staying and Rat will be outside."

She looked up at him with fear in her eyes. "Sort stuff? They're not voting on you are they? Please tell me you're not in danger because of me?"

"It's ok. Honestly. They're not voting mayhem I promise. I'll explain it all later but I'm good with the club."

"Ok. As long as you're sure."

"I'm sure." He moved closer. "Can I?" He gestured for a hug. Roxy nodded and Juice closed the gap.

Roxy felt warm and safe in his arms and she wished she could stay like this for the night but it was too... Weird? She couldn't place it. But she almost felt kind of guilty in his arms, like this mess was her fault and she didn't deserve Juice's time and affection. Like everything was ruined for them right now. Her messed up crow was symbolic of that. Roxy couldn't understand how he could still want her after all that, assuming that he'd seen the videos. Her Ma's words about the guys needing to 'own their pussy' was fresh in her mind. Though she knew deep down that Juice wasn't like that she just needed some time to get it right in her own head before she had to deal with him.

"Want me to come back tonight? Or the morning?" He asked softly, taking her bruised face in his hands.

Roxy appreciated him giving her the choice. "Morning. I just need some time."

Juice felt a bit deflated at her needing time away from him when she was happy for Harley to be there. But he figured he'd take it in his stride

"I'll be here then. I love you." He kissed her forehead and squeezed her hand before turning and leaving her with Harley. Roxy just giving him a simple smile in goodbye.

Roxy groaned and lay back on the bed.

"Why do I feel so awkward around him?" She mused to Harley.

Harley shrugged and sat on the bed at Roxy's feet. "I dunno. I mean I don't know all the details Roxy but I imagine it's gunna be weird for a while. Whatever happened was traumatic I imagine." Roxy shrugged but wouldn't look Harley in the eyes. "Look if you wanna talk about it I'm here, 100%, for you. Just when you're ready I'm here." She squeezed Roxy's foot.

"Thanks Harley." I just want another shower then sleep... Will you stay and sleep with me?"

"Of course I will." She smiled. "Now hop up and do that. I'll get Rat to hunt us down some food.

xxx xxx

Juice felt shit for leaving Roxy alone at the hospital, he wanted to be there and be useful for her, help her feel better. But he was pretty out of his depth, he had no idea what to do here.

However walking out of the hospital flanked by his brothers once again buoyed his mood. He was anxious about what would be in store during church, but at the same time he had Chibs' promise that it was not going to be mayhem.

When they pulled up at Scoops it was 8pm but the lights from the shop front were illuminating half the street. Chucky had obviously been busy this afternoon and had started adding Christmas decorations and lights in the window. It was only then that Juice noticed the Christmas lights going up down Main Street. He'd forgotten it was the start of December, everything else in their life having taken precedent.

Juice sighed and followed after Tig and Chibs, doubting very much that he and Roxy were going to have a merry Christmas.

When he entered the shop everyone hushed and Jax was the first to ask how Roxy was.

"I don't really know to be honest with you. Started crying when I tried to talk to her at first. Harley's staying with her. Trying to help her I guess but I've got no fucking clue what the hell I'm supposed to do." He accepted Chucky's offered beer, popped the top and started gulping it down.

"This is all my fault guys. I'm so sorry. If I hadn't let my quest for retribution cloud my judgement things woulda been different." Jax groaned.

"Aye, maybe. But right now we should take this upstairs." He hinted, looking at Chucky.

The rest of SAMCRO agreed and followed Chibs up to the chapel. The SAMTAZ and SAMTAC members were guarding the lockdown at RedWoody and disposing of the Triad members, leaving SAMCRO to deal with the aftermath.

Jax sat in the president's seat but was more than ready to give it up. After this meeting he was going to see Tara and his boys who Wendy was currently watching at RedWoody.

"So now we have Roxy back and have dealt with Lin we need to address the other issues brought up in the last few days." He chose his words carefully. "I think I firstly need to apologise to Juice. I let my personal feelings cloud my judgement on more than one occasion but the shit with Darvany and you talking to Nero are probably not my finest moments. For that I'm sorry. If it wasn't for me this whole mess would never have happened. You wouldn't have been forced into hiding and Roxy wouldn't have come up with the plan to run off with you, leaving her open to that attack. For those issues I'll accept whatever judgement the club hands down." The table murmured agreements, Juice was still shitty with Jax. Like he'd said it was his fault he and Roxy were in this mess, but he let him continue. "I'm also sorry for lying to my VP and Bobby about what Juice did. It's not the sign of a good leader. And really... That's why I need to turn in my president's patch." No one said a word as Jax took his kutte off and used his k-bar to slice through the thread holding the patch on. He held it in his hand as he began talking again. "I'd like to pass this responsibility on to the person I believe would do the best job. He's offered me excellent counsel, excellent support, and only has the best of the club in mind. Chibs." He handed the patch to the Scot who accepted it solemnly. "Shall we put it to a vote? I have Rat's proxy."

Happy started off the 'yay' votes and everyone else followed suit. Juice happily gave his 'yay' for Chibs, he always thought he'd make a good leader, and now they had mended their bridges he was more supportive than ever.

"Unanimous. My last act as president has probably been my best for this club." He turned to Chibs and stood up from his chair, Chibs clapping him on the back as they embraced.

Chibs took Jax's seat and Jax stood to the side awaiting the call for VP. Chibs sat quietly as he considered his brothers, turning the patch over in his fingers.

"I think I'd like Bobby as my VP. He's proven on more than one occasion he gives solid advice and is level headed enough to show me the right path."

"Of course brother." Bobby stood and moved round the table to hug Chibs, and sat now in the VP's seat.

Jax moved to sit in Bobby's recently vacated chair and Chibs moved on.

"Hap, you good to stay on as SA?"

"Hell yeah I am."

"That settles it." Tig congratulated and the rest cheered their agreement.

Chibs accepted the congratulations and grew solemn as he contemplated their next point of order.

"Now we need to vote on some sanctions for the behaviours of two members. We know Jax's sins but I'll explain Juice's. He allowed personal shit to get into his head space and ended up, while high, spilling Jax's secret to Nero. We are lucky Nero is a good friend to the club and chose not to use it against us but it could have gone another way. Juice, you can't let such lapses happen like that." Juice nodded. "Ok, we need to discuss this, Jax, Juice, wait outside."

Again Juice nodded and got up to follow Jax to the door, awkwardly following Jax down the stairs to the shop. Jax took a seat at a booth and gestured for Juice to join him. Jax took out two smokes, offering one to Juice as he sparked up his own.

They smoked in silence for a moment before Jax broke it. "I am sorry for what happened."

Juice shrugged. "Was a pretty jackass thing to do."

"I know you probably blame me for what happened to Roxy. And I blame myself. Trust me. I don't even know if I can look her in the eyes. I guess I just felt like shit about Tara and wanted to do the same to her."

Juice shrugged. "I'm never letting your sister go, you know that right? Didn't matter that you tried to separate us, we always figure it out."

Jax nodded. "How you gunna figure all this out? She's gunna need you to be strong bro."

Juice shrugged again. "I'll get there. She knows I care."

They smoked silently again until they were done, Juice looking anywhere but at Jax.

"I am happy she has you." Jax admitted. "Guess I was jealous."

"You realise you can have that with Tara if you just cut the shit."

"Maybe."

Tig yelled for them to come back up, cutting their little chat short, Juice didn't care though, he was having a hard time staying calm around Jax. He was the man who had sentenced him to death only two short weeks ago.

The pair took their seats again and looked to Chibs for their sentence.

"Jax, for your crimes I think it's only fair Juicy Boy has his chance to make things right with you, physically." Jax nodded, reminded of Chibs' beat down of Juice. "And Juice, we'd be giving you time away from the club to get your head straight. We figure Roxy's gunna need you anyway. We still want you here for church, but no runs or anything until we think we can trust you again. And for both of you, no votes for 3 months, unless someone calls for a tie breaker on something." Jax and Juice nodded their acceptance and looked back to Chibs. "Be at TM tomorrow evening Juice and Jax. We sort it then. In the meantime you both have ladies in the hospital so go do what you gotta do for them. Juice, you can go sleep at home again."

Juice thanked the lord for his return home and the break from the club, it would be just what Roxy needs to come back from this. He hoped.


	98. Chapter 98

**A/N: thanks again for all the feedback! Hopefully things start looking up from here!**

Juice had spent a really comforting night in his own bed, but he couldn't sleep for thinking about Roxy. Every time he drifted off he was woken by clips of the footage Lin had sent him then he was right back awake again. He'd eventually found his weed stash and smoked a shit ton to get comfortable enough to doze again but by then it was early hours of the morning.

He awoke again as sunrise burst through the curtains and stumbled through to the kitchen to see what they had in the way of food. Given the house had been vacant for two and a bit weeks any food they did have was well off by now so he grabbed a garbage bag and started cleaning.

Once he started he couldn't stop, he scrubbed the kitchen from top to bottom, reorganised their cupboards and pantry before making his way to the bathrooms and cleaning them to hospital standards. Then he vacuumed and dusted and polished every room in their house in an attempt to calm his busy mind. By the time he was done he stank of bleach and cleaning products but he felt some kind of order and he needed that to face today.

When it was a reasonable time he changed into fresh clothes ready to make his way to the hospital. Joey's car in the driveway reminded him he needed to call and come up with some sort of cover story for everything. But he decided to wait until he spoke to Roxy.

Juice parked his bike at the hospital and felt confident with his kutte on his back as he strode through the halls. That confidence vanishing as he stopped outside Roxy's door, one of the SAMTAC guys watching Roxy's door. Juice muttered a greeting before knocking on the door, opening it when he heard Roxy calling for him to come in.

She was pulling a fresh tshirt over her head when he came in, Juice catching a glimpse of some of the bruising that marred her body. He looked away as he said hello and Roxy turned around surprised to hear his voice.

"Oh I thought you were Harley." She sounded disappointed and he hated that.

"No just me." He shrugged. "How are you today?"

Roxy had seen the look in his eyes when she turned around. It was obvious he'd caught a glimpse and the disgust on his face was obvious and it made her cringe. She wrapped her arms around herself before she answered.

"Ok I guess... Didn't get much sleep."

"Figured. Me either." He gestured around the room which Roxy was currently tidying. "They letting you come home or something?"

"Well... 'let' is probably the wrong word. But I'm coming home yes. Didn't want to stay here any longer."

"Ok, well I can take you back now if you like."

She looked over his kutte and assumed all was good with the club. "Don't think I can ride right now. But it's ok. Harley will drive me. They've shut down the lockdown apparently so she's free to drive."

"Oh..."

Roxy finished folding the blankets from the bed and sat on the end. "Jax told me what happened with my Ma and Tara. Then all the stuff with... Lin." She swallowed. "Told him to get the fuck out my room."

"When was he here?"

"Last night. Came to see Tara. Apparently you and him are having it out tonight?"

Juice cleared his throat awkwardly and moved to sit next to her on the bed, he did notice Roxy edging away from him ever so slightly and he bit his lip before continuing.

"Yeah. If you wanna come. Down at TM. Chibs says it's his sanction for causing all this shit."

"Good. Deserves every second of it for what he put you through... Put us through."

Juice snorted. "Yeah and then some." They were quiet for a moment, before Juice took Roxy's hand and broke the silence. "I just wanna go back to normal, before all this shit with Jax happened. Enjoy our engagement, plan our wedding. Y'know."

Roxy turned to look at him, an incredulous look on her face. "J, shits never gunna go back to the way it was." Pulling her hand away from him she frowned. "I can barely stand to touch you right now." Juice crumpled in on himself. "It's not your fault but it's just the way it is. How can you be talking about marrying me when I had a panic attack this morning just thinking about sharing a bed with you."

"But Roxy I-"

They were interrupted by Harley knocking on the door and coming in. "Hey, got you some food- oh hi Juice." She gave a small smile. "I can come back if I'm interrupting."

Juice was about to ask her to leave but Roxy cut him off. "No it's ok. Juice was just gunna go."

He turned to look at her. "I was?" Roxy looked blankly at him. "Yeah, I was." He got up from the bed and walked over to the door. "See ya later Harley." And continued walking down the corridor.

Harley stared after him for a moment before turning back to Roxy. "What the hell was that?"

Roxy let her face fall in her hands. "I don't know Harley. He was talking about the wedding and wanting to go back to normal and all that crap."

"Don't you want that?"

Roxy looked up at her friend, exasperated. "Of course I do! But I just can't. It won't work Harley."

"Why not?"

Roxy let out a frustrated growl. "Because!" She started pacing. "Because he's seen it all and every time he looks at my crow he's gunna remember that. It was supposed to be a symbol showing that I was his forever. But now it'll just remind him that I'm not."

Harley grabbed Roxy by the shoulders and forced her to look at her. "No it's not Roxy. That mark just shows that you've been through everything and still want him. Trust me he is not going to care about that. He loves you. You. All this other crap that goes on won't change that Rox."

"I saw the look on his face before when he saw me changing. It has changed. And he's treating me like some... some invalid or something."

"He's just out of his depth here. That boy is sweet as hell but he's still clueless babe. Just give it time stop freaking out over things that won't happen and just give it time. Just try and be in the moment with Juice, don't think about what might or might not be going on in his head because you'll never know unless you ask him."

"Maybe." She shrugged out of Harley's embrace and moved to pick up the bag Harley had Lyla bring. "Right now I just wanna go home."

Harley sighed. "Fine."

xxx xxx

Juice pulled over in town and gave Joey a ring. He fed him some bullshit story about Roxy being mugged at a gas station on her way to Juice when she stopped to get smokes. Joey didn't really sound like he believed it but thankfully didn't ask too many questions. Juice arranged for some of the SAMTAC guys to drop his car back off and went to the grocery store.

He only had his bike so he couldn't get much, just what would fit in his saddlebags but he figured milk, bread, some fillings for sandwiches and some chocolate would do for now. Maybe Harley would go get them some stuff later.

He crammed the bags into his saddlebags and rode around town for a bit, savouring the feeling of being on his bike once again. That and he didn't want to go home and face Roxy like this. He knew he could comfort her if she was sad but right now he didn't know how to deal with this attitude. He had no idea what she wanted or what would make this better.

By the time he pulled up to the house Joey's car was gone, so he parked his bike in the garage and grabbed the shopping out of his saddlebags. He put the stuff away in their newly organised spots and called out as he made his way down to the bedroom. He could hear soft music playing from the Bluetooth speaker and figured Harley must have already dropped Roxy off. He knocked softly and opened the door.

Roxy had been busy studying herself in the full length mirror. She looked the same, aside from the odd bruises and the brand mark covered by its dressing, but she just felt so different. Like her body wasn't the same any more. Like she wasn't the same.

She was about to turn around and pull her robe on over her underwear but as she turned she noticed Juice standing in the slightly open doorway, giving her the fright of her life.

Roxy screamed and backed into the wall before she really focussed on the fact that it was Juice. He slowly walked towards her saying something she couldn't hear through the panic in her head.

Juice tugged her arm and pulled her over to the bed where she sat and breathed deeply in an attempt to calm the shock.

"Baby, it's just me." Were the first of Juice's words she focused on.

Still panting she turned to him. "You could have given me some warning instead of fucking standing there staring at me. Shit." She pulled the dressing gown over her and quickly shoved her arms in and tied it up. "What is your problem you creeper?"

"I called out and knocked on the door. Didn't you hear me?"

She just gave him an exasperated look. "Obviously not."

"Well I'm sorry." He stood up and moved to the door. "I'll give you a minute. I bought some milk n shit but figure I'll call us a delivery for late lunch before tonight. If you wanna come?"

"Yeah, just gimme a sec."

Juice left and Roxy quickly pulled out some track pants and a sweatshirt before following him out to the kitchen. She knew she had to chill and cut him some slack but at the same time she felt like she had to put some barriers up for the inevitable rejection she felt Juice would send her way.

Juice was sitting in the living room sucking down a beer when she made her way through with a mug of coffee.

"Sorry about before. You just caught me off guard."

"It's ok. I wasn't really thinking."

She sat gingerly next to him and placed her mug on the table.

Roxy pulled his hand into her lap and stroked it with her thumbs. "I thought a bit about what you said this morning. And I want those things too... but it's not gunna be an overnight thing. Is that ok?"

Juice turned fully to her. "Of course it's ok. I just want you to know this doesn't change anything. Seriously. I still love you, nothing's gunna ever change that."

Roxy looked down. "Ok."

"Ok?"

"Yeah. I do believe you, think I just need time for my head to sort it out."

"Well we have time. I'm back in good standing with the club but part of my deal is to take some time away and sort my own shit out so there's not a repeat of my 'Diosa episode'." He air quoted, Roxy chuckled. "So what do you say to a holiday?"

Roxy's eyes lit up. "Yeah?"

"For Christmas. Maybe just before? We probably can't go out of state though. I'll check with my parole officer, but we got that money so even if we have to stay in Cali we can go five star."

"I think that would be fucking perfect Juan." She surprised herself by pulling him down for a kiss. It was short, being all she could manage, but sweet nonetheless. "We get to be a normal couple for a bit."

Juice feigned insult. "We are a normal couple."

Roxy chuckled again making Juice smile his megawatt smile for the first time in a long time.

"What do you say to pizza and movies while we chill before this evening?"

"I think that'll be good."

Roxy tried her best to follow Harley's advice of just being in the moment with Juice, and so far it was working. She had to admit, he was everything Harley said and more. He knew exactly what to do to make her feel better without even trying.

xxx xxx

For most of the day Roxy was in a blissfully ignorant space. Cuddling with Juice while they watched movies and gorged on pizza reminded her of when they'd first started dating. She forgot about everything that happened over the last few days, only crashing back to reality when her phone alarm sounded reminding her to take her next dose of antibiotics.

But it was just in time to watch Juice and Jax face down at TM. Roxy knew how silly this whole club retribution shit was but at the same time she wanted Jax to pay for all the shit he pulled with Juice. He made her life hell these last few weeks, turned her family against her, and it was about time he paid the piper.

Roxy agreed to ride on Juice's bike, she knew he just wanted to feel like they were ok and close again and if riding through the discomfort would do that for him she would. She regretted it slightly when he had to help her off at TM, but she shook it off and walked closely behind him, clutching to his hand for dear life. She smoothed out the hoodie she'd stolen from him with her other hand. All her tshirts and tops had been purchased with the idea of showing off her crow and right now that was the last thing she wanted. So it was jeans and a baggy hoodie for her tonight.

The lot was full, the SAMTAC and SAMTAZ guys were all there with their SAMCRO brothers. There was a bit of a party going on with a couple of fire drums going, plenty of beer being passed around from coolers and some of the crow eaters milling around with food.

The clubhouse was still a blackened shell from the explosion but that wasn't stopping the celebration. It was clear Juice and Jax's fight was only going to be a minor attraction of tonight's events.

As they wandered closer to the SAMCRO group Roxy tightened her hold on Juice's hand, he squeezed it reassuringly and pulled her close.

Roxy saw Harley sitting on Happy's lap, both drinking from beers while the rest of the club milled about. Lyla was even there letting her hair down for once. The club had hired Elyda to look after the kids for her so she must have been making the most of it tonight.

Chibs clapped Juice on the shoulder when they settled in the group, Tig sidling up beside Roxy. He tried asking how she was but she glared daggers at him as Chibs turned his attention to her now.

Roxy scoffed at their attempts to be kind. "Don't think I've forgotten all the shit you guys did and said these last two weeks, just because Juice forgave you doesn't mean I have. You turned on me and ignored my best interests so you can go fuck yourselves." She wrenched her hand from Juice's and stomped off towards the beers.

"What was all that about?" Juice questioned.

"We didn't exactly make her life easy these last couple weeks." Tig commented.

"Guess she's not as forgiving as you lad." Chibs agreed.

"Just give her time I guess." Juice shrugged accepting an offered beer.

"How is she?" Tig asked softly.

Juice considered for a moment. "To be honest I'm not really sure. She was a bit weird at the hospital this morning but since then we've had a good day. Just getting back into the swing of things I guess."

They stood around chatting for a bit until Rat came over from the ring and spoke with Chibs.

"Alright Juicy Boy, go give your shit to Roxy and head over to the ring." Chibs ordered.

Roxy was sitting in the corner near the ring talking with Harley and Lyla when Juice came over. She was seething more watching her brother clearly flirt with a crow eater despite the fact that Tara was still lying unconscious in a hospital bed.

Juice approached noticing the same thing Roxy had but shook his head and kept walking past, holding out his kutte and rings for Roxy. Roxy accepted Juice's stuff and watched as he took off his tshirt. Happy had come over to join the group and started taping up Juice's hands as the girls' eyes raked over Juice's toned body. Roxy hadn't noticed the other day when she met him at the motel, but he was leaner than ever, muscles more defined too. He probably hadn't eaten well while he was away and she knew he worked out when he was stressed.

Roxy's mind started running away with itself as images of Juice's toned chest, glistening with sweat as he held himself above her came rushing through her mind. But then they were cut off by images of her time in the warehouse and she shuddered, blinking her eyes to make it stop.

She shoved Juice's rings into her pocket and slung his kutte over her shoulder as she inspected Happy's taping. Anything to stop herself from looking at his chest or face. Juice squeezed her hand with his and she snapped her eyes up to his face.

"You ok?"

Roxy cleared her throat. "Pretty much. Just.. Don't go too crazy up there. He's a jackass but he is the father of my nephews after all." She smirked.

"He deserves every last bit. But once this is done we can move on, right?" He eagerly asked.

"Y-yeah. Just be careful." She squeezed his hands again and Juice lowered his head down to catch her lips in a sweet kiss. Thankful that was one thing the men didn't take from her and ruin for her and Juice.

Juice smirked and hopped up into the ring, Happy and Rat at his side psyching him up while he stretched out, jumping on the spot. Jax was doing a similar thing on the other side with Quinn and Bobby, Chibs and Tig sticking to the middle ground as referees. Roxy noticed the crow eater from before sitting in Jax's corner holding his belongings and she felt like punching him, but she shook it off. Juice would take care of it.

Now Juice was not the best fighter out of everyone in SAMCRO but he was fast and threw a hard hit. He was a damn sight better than most men when it came to brawling, he grew up pretty rough and learned how to hold his own very quickly. But SAMCRO was a who's who of rough guys and Juice didn't always measure up.

Roxy did worry about this fight as, even though Jax was supposed to take some hits, he was a brilliant fighter and if he did decide to fight back with gusto then he and Juice would be pretty evenly matched. Roxy just hoped her brother had the decency to take this fight as the beat down it should be.

Chibs called out some rules and let them get on with it, Juice getting in the first few punches to Jax's face. After one particularly hard upper cut to the stomach while Jax was leaning forward he decided to give back to Juice as good as he got, and it was on.

Juice dodged most of Jax's punches but copped two in quick succession to the left side of his face. He stumbled slightly but regained his footing in time to smash a hard fist right into Jax's jaw and Roxy could see her brother stumble with the pain. Juice took the opportunity to reign down continuous punches on Jax and eventually was pulled back by Chibs and Tig as they called the fight while Jax stumbled and fell to the floor.

The rest of the crowd whooped and hollered but Roxy was honed in on Juice as he jumped down out of the ring and moved toward her. He grabbed the towel Happy handed him without looking at him as he walked over to Roxy. He stopped in front of her and pulled her in for a kiss.

Roxy melted in to the kiss for a moment but when she felt Juice's hands wander she jerked back, she ran round the back of a couple of the spare cars littering the lot and retched as nausea swept over her body, the feeling of Juice's hands wandering over her body reminding her of the warehouse and she couldn't deal with it.

Juice stood dumbfounded where Roxy had left him. Harley came running over to see what happened.

"She ok? What happened?"

Juice passed his kutte to Harley seeing as Roxy had passed it to him as she ran off.

"I dunno but I'll go check."

He followed after Roxy and found her sitting against the car, head between her knees.

"Roxy?"

She snapped her head up to look at him. "Yeah... Sorry I dunno..." She was breathing deeply in an attempt to calm herself down.

Juice sat next to her and nudged her with his shoulder. "I'm so sorry I just got carried away, the adrenaline I dunno-"

Roxy grabbed his hand and squeezed. "It's ok just... a flashback I guess."

Juice nodded. "Fuck I'm sorry."

Roxy let out a frustrated growl. "You shouldn't be sorry though! You're allowed to kiss me, I want you to kiss me, I want you to do more than kiss me but those assholes ruined it-"

Juice pulled her into him for a hug. "Listen it's not ruined Roxy. It'll just take time and I just pushed it ok."

"I just want to be able to hug you and kiss you and touch you without being reminded of that." She cried out.

"And you will be able to... eventually."

Roxy nodded into his chest, quietly thinking for a moment. "Y'know I won't mind i-if you... y'know... need to see someone else for a bit... like at Diosa or something because I-"

"No Roxy! I'm not gunna do that. Do you really think I'd need to do that? That I'd even want to do that to you?" He pulled away so she had to look up to him and he grabbed her hand so he could see her ring. "When I gave you this I was promising all that shit was behind me, that I was gunna be faithful to you forever. That night, at Diosa, I was never going to do anything, I seriously just went there for a massage, or something I don't even fucking know, for company or some shit coz I was sad. But this Roxy-" he gestured to her hand- "is for life now. I don't care if it takes a week, a month, a year, fuck ten years even, I'll wait patiently for you."

Roxy watched as tears gathered along his lower lashes and squeezed his hand knowing there were tears slipping down her cheeks.

"I love you so much Juan."

"I love you too. Just, you gotta tell me what you're comfortable with. You tell me to back up and I will. And I'll try not to get carried away."

Roxy nodded. "Harley told me, before we even got together, and reminded me this morning, how amazing you are. I hope you know that you are amazing."

Juice chuckled. "Well they do say God broke the mould when they made me so..."

Roxy playfully smacked him. "Yeah yeah Casanova."

They looked each other over for a moment, then Roxy decided to try something. She slowly moved onto her knees and moved closer to him, she held his hands together in one of hers and used the other to cup his face. She slowly lowered her lips to his and captured them in a soft kiss. After a couple of moments she deepened the kiss and slipped her tongue into his mouth. Juice responded gently and squeezed her hand with his hands.

Roxy pulled back eventually and rested her forehead against his.

"How was that?" He murmured.

"Very good... always is with you. But baby steps."

"Yeah." He reached up and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "Wanna come help me get patched up?"

It was then Roxy noticed the cut above his eye and the bruises on his knuckles. "Ok Rocky." She stood up and offered her hand down to Juice to pull him up too so they were standing face to face.

"Mind if I...?" Roxy nodded and he pulled her in for a hug, breathing deeply in he caught a whiff of her shampoo and smiled. "Love you." He whispered.

"I know." She whispered back.

Juice pulled away and smiled. "C'mon. I need ice and a beer."

He pulled her along behind him as he made his way back to the group. Roxy slipped her hand out of his as his brothers started crowding round to discuss the fight and slap him on the back and all the rest of that manly stuff. Harley sidled up to Roxy and passed her a vodka premix bottle.

"Figured you might this." Roxy accepted the bottle and took a swig of the fruity liquid. "So what was that about?"

"Just was a bit much, kinda freaked me out."

"But I can see you're ok now?" Harley questioned as Roxy continued to watch Juice laughing and joking with his brothers.

"Yeah, he was sweet, like you said."

"Told you so." Harley nudged Roxy.

Roxy was broken from her study of Juice as Jax entered her line of sight. His shirt was still off and his body sported a few bruises and spots of blood. He and Juice shared a quick bro hug before Jax spotted Roxy and walked over to her.

"Uh, Roxy? I just wanted to apologise for last night... and well... everything."

Roxy sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Jax I dunno if I can forgive you right now. You're my brother but god you're an asshole. I mean Tara's lying up there in a hospital bed and you're here flirting with these sluts."

"I know but-"

"But nothing Jax. If you love her like you say you do you'll keep it in your pants and help her get better. And as for us? Well you got a lotta making up to do. You deliberately mislead the club into hunting down Juice. Because of that Tig, who's like a second dad to me, questioned his love for me, and the rest of those guys ostracised me and for what? Because you were jealous of us? Having a bad day? And the worst part is you just sat and watched. You'd have happily watched them kill Juice on a falsehood and take the only good thing I have in my life. And now Ma's gone and everything's ruined."

Jax bowed his head and looked appropriately scorned. "I'm gunna make it up to you. I promise. I did some real shitty things. And I'm sorry it took you getting taken for me to realise that."

"Yeah well..."

"Look I'll leave you to it but I just wanted you to know I love you and I'm sorry."

"Yeah, ok."

Jax nodded and wandered off to grab a beer and sort himself out.

Roxy walked over to Harley who was sitting on a picnic table looking over the crowd. Harley smiled at her best friend and linked arms with her as they watched Happy and Juice mess around while Chibs attempted to stick a butterfly stitch to Juice's forehead.

"Looks like they're all happy now." Harley mused.

"Yep. Good huh."

"Guess things are looking up."

"Maybe." Roxy smiled hoping that from here things would start looking up for them.


	99. Chapter 99

**A/N: sorry I've had a busy week! This chapter explains some of the Gemma stuff and also is a bit sad. But it'll get better.**

The rest of the fight night went without incident and Juice had taken Roxy home after they'd socialised a bit more. Roxy was drained, talking to so many people, especially being around guys she didn't know was tiring. She still hasn't spoken to Chibs or Tig. Refusing until they apologised properly to her.

Despite how tired she was when she got home she couldn't sleep, and when she eventually did Juice shifted in his sleep and his arm pinned her, waking her up in a panic which took Juice almost an hour to calm her down from. Eventually she agreed to smoking some weed and calmed down enough to lie back in bed with him.

When Roxy woke up the bed was empty and Juice's side was cold. Rubbing her eyes Roxy hopped out of bed and made her way through to the lounge room, grabbing her dressing gown on the way. It was there she found Juice, snoring his head off, asleep on the sofa. She set about making him some coffee and moved back through to the lounge. She sat his coffee on the coffee table and woke him up gently.

Juice yawned and sat up slowly. "Mornin babe."

"Morning." She sat down on the recliner and sipped her coffee. "What you doing out here?"

Juice shrugged. "Figured you'd sleep better without me all over you."

Roxy hummed her disapproval but didn't say anything. Since the episode at 3am she'd slept right through till 10am so he was probably right. Didn't mean she liked it though.

"I'm gunna try calling my Ma. Figure out where she's at. I wanna know why the whole Tara shit happened."

"I dunno if that's a good idea babe, the club-"

"I don't give a shit what the club wants right now."

"Roxy-"

"No. Everything that happened is tied up with the club. I wouldn't have been taken if it wasn't for their bullshit with you and their bullshit with Lin. The least they can do is let me have my Ma."

Juice groaned and nodded, worried about the revelations her mom would make when they met. "Fine but if you go see her I'm taking you."

"Fine."

They finished their coffees in peace and Roxy left him while she had a shower and dressed. Juice came in as she pulled on her tshirt.

"Need me to change your dressing?" He offered. They were waterproof but he knew it'd need changing once every day.

Roxy sighed, she knew she had to do it and figured it'd be easier for him to do it than her to do it herself in the mirror.

"Ok." She pulled her shirt back off and lay on the bed. Juice grabbing the bag of bits the hospital had given.

"You haven't taken your heart Meds either Rox." He handed her the unopened boxes of tablets the hospital had given her.

Roxy rolled her eyes at his concerned expression. "Yeah I know. Forgot to."

"Well that's been like 3 days now if you count when you were at the warehouse. You need to take them."

"I'm fine Juan, they gave me some stuff in hospital. Just get on with it." She took the boxes off him and placed them on the bedside table.

Juice took some gloves out of the packet and started peeling off the old dressing. "You gotta look after yourself Rox. Otherwise you're gunna end up back in the hospital."

Roxy huffed. "Yes I know. I am looking after myself dad." She added sarcastically, but gave him a wink.

"Hey if you wanna call me daddy I'm down for that, but right now stop moving so I can put this shit on." He was wiggling a bottle of burn cream in his hand.

Roxy complied and lay still on the bed while he gently rubbed the cream onto the brand. He could tell she was trying not to cry but it must have hurt. This was the first time he had properly seen the mark uncovered and Roxy was right. It had ruined the crow and there probably wasn't much Happy could do to fix it. Juice could feel Roxy's eyes on him so he stopped looking at it and started unpacking the new dressing.

"Told you it was ruined." She mumbled.

"It doesn't matter babe." He smiled down to her as he stuck the edges down around the mark. Roxy gently rubbed her fingertips along his neck, dancing over the tattoo of her name. When he'd finished sticking it down he slowly grabbed her hand and kissed it. "It's ok, we can always try fix it up or get you another tattoo if you really want."

"I do want. I loved that crow. It was so cute."

"I think this ones cuter." He pointed to the one beneath her bra and started tracing it with his fingers.

"Yeah but it wasn't for you. That one was."

"I don't need a tattoo Roxy." He rolled his eyes. "Plus, you're wearing my ring. That counts." He continued trailing his finger tips along her chandelier tattoo and Roxy's skin erupted in goosebumps.

"Yeah... I suppose." She pushed him up and sat up herself before tugging her top back on. "Well I gotta call my Ma. See where she is."

Juice sighed. "Ok. I'm going for shower, don't go anywhere without me." He warned, he needed to be there when they met to make sure Gemma didn't twist the story.

Juice took a few minutes longer than usual in the shower. At first he was kinda aroused after seeing Roxy with her top off and being able to touch her for what felt like the first time in years. Then when he tried to do something about it those images started popping up again in his head so eventually he gave up, even more frustrated than when he started. It'd been like three weeks since he and Roxy had been together properly and that time at the motel was brief, he wanted her so badly but now he couldn't think of anything else but that grainy video footage. He'd tried thinking about some of his favourite times with her as he stroked himself but then flashes of Roxy's face in pain had cut it short.

By the time Juice had come out of the shower Roxy was pacing in the living room.

"About fucking time. Enjoy yourself in there?" She questioned with irritation.

"No, actually." He stormed over to the fridge to grab a bottle of water, letting her attitude roll off him.

Roxy huffed. "I want to go."

"Where? Did you get hold of your Ma?"

"No. But Lyla knows where her and Nero are. Some motel in Stockton. Nero is still tying up stuff with Diosa so they haven't left yet."

"Ok, so we're going there?"

"Yes. Hurry up."

Juice sighed and shoved his feet in his boots before grabbing his kutte and pushing her towards the garage.

"Can't we take my car?"

"No. I'm driving remember?"

Roxy crossed her arms and stayed put. "You can drive I just... I can't ride right now."

Juice rolled his eyes as he slung his leg over his bike. He'd be much more comfortable on his bike, he'd missed riding it. "Stop being so difficult and hurry up."

"I can't ride Juice!" Roxy shouted. "It hurts..."

Juice looked over at her standing in the doorway looking anywhere but at him. After a second his brain engaged and he hopped back off his bike and moved toward her. Roxy shoved the keys into his hand and walked past him to the Jeep while Juice stood gawping not sure what to say.

The first few moments of the drive to Stockton were silent but Juice eventually broke it.

"Why didn't you tell me last night? I wouldn't have made you ride." He said, eyes on the road.

"I knew you wanted to and it was only a short ride." She said softly as she stared out the window.

"You gotta tell me these things Rox." Juice said, keeping his eyes on the road.

"There's some things I just don't want you to know J." She said barely above a whisper.

Juice took a hand off the wheel and grasped one of Roxy's. "I want you to tell me Roxy."

She was silent a moment. "How much did you see? I zoned out after a bit so I dunno what they did and didn't film."

Juice shifted uncomfortably in his seat and darted a quick look across to Roxy and back. "Enough." He squeezed her hand. "They sent four videos in total. I watched the start of the first one but as soon as I saw them on you I couldn't do it. Tig and Happy watched the rest of it to be sure there weren't any clues as to your location."

Roxy swiped at a tear with her free hand. "Tig watched it?"

"Yeah. He and Hap were probably the only two hard enough to do it." Juice shrugged. "I skimmed through the others looking for crap. Mainly I wanted to know if you were ok... at the end."

"I'm so sorry you had to see that." She whispered.

"That was the hardest shit I've ever had to see. Every time I close my eyes I see it, every time I think about touching you I see them touching you." He sighed. "I just wanna kill those fucks all over again, make them suffer more... I can't even begin to imagine how you're feeling." Juice kept his eyes trained on the road.

"About the same." Roxy squeezed his hand. "Is that what you were doing in the shower? Thinking about me?"

Roxy let out a low huff. "Mmm." Was all he said.

"Kept seeing it huh?"

"Doesn't matter. Where are we going anyway?" He wanted to change the subject knowing that going down that route was a sure fire way to make Roxy feel even more shit.

And she knew it. She was embarrassed that Tig and Happy had seen those videos, she'd had to do some really degrading things to keep those guys happy and she went along with it to keep them from getting too violent. It was survival. But now the thought of them having seen her like that was just plain embarrassing.

But with Juice it was different. He'd seen the stuff and she felt like it had probably scarred him just as much as it had her. She'd wondered briefly how could he possibly want her after seeing that. And now she knew it. He couldn't even jack off without seeing it and being turned off, how the hell was he ever gunna be able to have sex with her again? She decided not to dwell on that for now and gave Juice directions to the motel.

When they eventually pulled up outside Roxy noticed Nero's lowrider parked out the front of one of the ground floor rooms and assumed it was theirs. Juice followed her over as she knocked on the door.

Gemma peeked through the peep hole before screeching and opening the door.

"Roxy baby! I'm so glad you're ok!" She pulled Roxy in for a hug which she returned stiffly.

"No thanks to you." She pushed past Gemma into the room, Nero stepping out from the bathroom, surprised to see them both there as Juice and Roxy stood by the bed.

"Baby, what? What do you mean?" Gemma stuttered after she shut the door.

"I mean how you tried to kill Tara and blamed it on Lin. Who then kidnapped me and had me raped for 2 days. Maybe that."

"Oh my god. They did that?" She looked down.

"Yeah. They did that. And I had to find out from someone else how bad you fucked up because you couldn't own up to your shit. Even when I got taken you didn't say."

Gemma cleared her throat. "Juice told you huh?"

Roxy snapped her head to look at Juice who was stood beside her, arms across his chest. "Told me what?"

"He's the one who told me about the Chinese." She said monotonously.

Roxy turned to Juice now but before she could say anything he exploded and advanced on Gemma.

"Yeah I told you, but I didn't think you were gunna use it to cover up your bullshit."

"Ay step it back there homes." Nero stood in between Gemma and Juice.

"How did you know where Juice was?" Roxy glared at her mother.

"He helped me after the Tara incident and in return I hid him from the club at Wendy's."

Roxy pinched the bridge of her nose. "So hang on a second. You helped my Ma out with trying to kill Tara then told her to use the Chinese leading to this." She pointed at Juice before turning back to Gemma. "And you, you knew where he was the whole time and didn't tell me? And to top it off you set off the shit storm that led to me being taken to that warehouse."

Neither Gemma nor Juice spoke for a second, Nero had the sense to step in and try diffuse the situation.

"Mija, I doubt either of them knew what would happen from this." He stepped forwards.

"Don't call me mija, Nero." She scowled at him, she turned to Juice. "Give me the keys."

"No, Roxy I'll take you back." Juice moved to follow her out the door.

"Baby wait!" Gemma called out. "Don't go, I need to know you're ok."

Roxy gave out a humourless laugh. "Don't think I'm ever going to be ok again. Sorry I can't ease your guilt Ma." Roxy turned on her heel and ran from the room, Juice hot on her heels as Gemma burst into tears behind them, devastated that she wasn't able to make this right with Roxy.

Juice called to Roxy to get in the car but she shook her head and started walking towards the road. Juice ran up behind her. "Get in the car or I'm picking you up and throwing you in." He threatened.

"Touch me Juice, and I scream." She met his gaze head on, fire in her eyes. "Why would I wanna get in a car with you anyway?" She turned away again and continued walking towards the road.

Juice groaned and walked back to the car, knowing that this had gone just as badly as he'd figured it would. He needed to clear it up with Roxy but he didn't know where to begin. Manhandling her into the car probably wasn't a good starting point.

He pulled the Jeep out of the lot and followed along beside her slowly with the hazard lights blinking. Rolling down the window Juice leaned his arm out.

"I'm not leaving you alone for a second so you can either hop in and let me drive you home where you can sulk in peace or we can do this all day till you drop of dehydration. Sup to you."

Roxy ignored him and continued walking. She kept it up for a good twenty minutes before she started feeling lightheaded so she relented and finally got into the car, much to Juice's relief.

The remainder of the trip was silent and as soon as they got back to their house Roxy locked herself in the bathroom completely unable to even look at Juice.

She couldn't comprehend how it all tied together. She kind of understood why Juice had helped her Ma cover up Tara, he'd been in shit with the club maybe she'd help him. But then he'd told her she could use the Chinese which led to her being taken. Then even when she was taken he didn't confess. Jax had told her in the hospital neither Juice nor Gemma had come forward about the Chinese until the start of the next morning after she was taken. He'd left her stranded in there. She knew her Ma's self preservation instinct would have kicked in and she was a ruthless bitch when she had to be so she knew that she'd do that. But Juice? He was supposed to love and protect her above all else, but he led to this whole mistake.

After seething in the bathroom for a while she decided to have it out with him. She ripped the door open and was surprised to find him waiting patiently on the bed. She huffed at his placid expression and began pacing in front of him.

"Why? Why would you help her?" She threw her arms out.

"Because you had literally just lost your dad. I didn't want you to lose your other parents at the hands of your brother also." He answered calmly.

Roxy huffed again, looking way more agitated and flustered than she should have. "And the Chinese? You helped her come up with the cover story that had me raped Juice!" She yelled, breathing rapidly.

Juice stood off the bed and moved forward. "I didn't. I swear to you. She asked me for the names of club beefs. I told her, not really thinking what she was gunna do with that information. Next thing I know she's pinned Tara's hit on them and that's it. I swear I didn't know this would happen."

"But you didn't even tell the club till the next day! You could have found me sooner!"

Juice took her hands in his and rubbed his thumbs gently over her knuckles. "I swear baby I didn't know. I didn't know the extent of the club's retribution against the Chinese until the middle of that night when Tig filled me in after we watched the first video." He sighed. "Then I knew I had to tell Jax. So as soon as the rest of the club came in that morning I told them. It was just chance that your Ma happened to be there at the same time for Jax to excommunicate."

"If you guys hadn't done this it never would have happened to me!" She yelled at him.

"Roxy I told you I didn't know what your Ma had planned!" He yelled back.

Roxy was feeling really light headed again and before she could yell some more she stumbled back against the wall. Her chest started tightening and not in the panicky way.

Roxy slid down the wall clutching at her chest as it felt like her heart was hammering through her rib cage. She could vaguely hear Juice calling her name as he lifted her up and rushed her out to the car.

By the time they pulled up at St. Thomas Roxy was struggling to breathe and the sweat was beading on her forehead before running down her face. Juice carried her in to the ED and they immediately took her through to the assessment bays from the waiting area.

Juice called Jax to let him know what was happening, Jax being the only family she had left in Charming it felt right to call him. Then he waited.

xxx xxx

Eventually a doctor came to get him and let him to her curtained area of the department.

"Next of kin for Roxanna Morrow?" He nods to Juice.

"Yeah, fiancé."

The doctor opened the curtains and let him in before closing them again behind them. Roxy was lying on the bed with a heart monitor on and an oxygen tube in her nose, and she was not happy.

"Ms. Morrow had a cardiac arrhythmia. She needs to take her medication every day or she'll be at risk of further episodes and possible heart attacks. Today we gave her a shock and she's back in a normal rhythm but it's dangerous to keep doing. We noticed she'd already had a shock when she presented here the other day." The doctor looked to Juice. "She needs to take the prescription she was sent home with."

"I tried getting her to but she's 'forgetting' then today she said she'd take it and never did."

"Roxy and I spoke about self destructive behaviours and what they can look like." Juice eyed the young male doctor and wondered what he was getting at. "I think she'd benefit from speaking to a counsellor after what has happened this last week. At least for a few sessions."

"I'll be fine." Roxy piped up glumly from her spot on the bed.

"I dunno Rox. I kind of agree with him."

Roxy rolled her eyes but the doctor cut them off, eager to avoid being embroiled in a domestic.

"I'll let you two discuss what you need to. A nurse will come in and unhook you from the machine in an hour. I'll review and then you can go home. In the meantime I'm booking you a counselling appointment here at St. Thomas."

Roxy grumbled as the doctor left them to it. Juice pulled the small seat up towards the bed and sat down, crossing his arms.

"You gunna go to the appointment?" Roxy shrugged in response and Juice groaned. "Look I am sorry about everything. I honestly never meant to hurt you. I thought by helping Gemma she'd help me get to you. But obviously that never happened."

Roxy picked at the blanket covering her before looking up at Juice. "I know that. I was just angry. I'm so angry this happened and I'm angry everyone's been lying to me and I'm angry that I'm sick and I'm just... angry."

"I'm angry too. But I'm here for you. I want you to feel better and I'm here whatever it takes. But you gotta start looking after yourself."

"I know, I know." She smiled sadly.

xxx xxx

The next two weeks passed much the same way. Juice nagging Roxy to take her pills and her arguing with him that she could look after herself. The nightmares didn't let up and in Juice's opinion they were getting worse and more frequent. She'd already cancelled one appointment, which had pissed off Juice after she'd promised she'd go and eventually she booked another one.

The morning of the appointment Roxy woke up alone in bed, annoyed that Juice was gone when he'd said he'd take her to and from the hospital. Juice was supposed to be on leave from the club but they had figured he'd want in on tying up some loose Triad ends.

Roxy was hurt as she was anxious going out of the house without him and hadn't been out yet without either Harley or Juice by her side. So when she'd finally got there she had to smoke a blunt to get up enough courage to walk in the door. The counsellor, of course, had picked up on that and Roxy rolled her eyes knowing the destructive behaviours spiel off by heart from her own work. After going through everything with the counsellor she felt worse than when she'd walked in and hated the fact that she couldn't just function by herself. She swung past the liquor store on the way back, needing to replenish her stock after drinking every night before bed. Juice didn't know but she felt it helped her relax. She felt even worse about herself when she jumped as the male sales person approached her. She played it off as being funny but inside she was terrified and couldn't get out of the shop quick enough.

Back in the sanctuary of her own home she breathed a sigh of relief as she locked the garage door behind her. Grabbing the bottle and then another of Juice's pre-rolled joints she headed to the sofa to try relax.

xxx xxx

Juice had been along with the club to sort some of the remaining Triad members and had completely forgotten it was the day of Roxy's appointment until he saw Harley waiting at Scoops for Happy. She'd asked how Roxy was given she couldn't get a hold of her. Harley had assumed she was out with Juice as she'd not been able to get through to Roxy and when she'd gone by the house and got no answer she figured she was with him.

Juice, naturally bolted home, Chibs and Tig hot on his heels. He didn't bother parking his bike in the garage, simply throwing his helmet at his bike as he ran inside the house. The first thing he noticed was the empty glass on the coffee table next to an ashtray full of cigarette butts and a couple of stubbed out roaches.

"Roxy?!" He called out as Chibs and Tig entered the house, having stopped to hang Juice's helmet on his bike handlebars.

Juice ran to the bedroom, no sign of her in any of the rooms.

"Fuck Chibs! Where is she?!" He panicked.

Luckily Tig had the sense to check the back porch, seeing that the light was on.

"Dude, she's here." He motioned for him to come out to the back.

Roxy was lying on the day bed on the deck, bottle of vodka mostly empty lying on the floor.

"Fucking hell." Juice muttered and walked over to her. "Roxy? Roxy?" Juice shook her shoulder a bit and she mumbled, turning in her sleep. She was frozen and Juice knew he had to get her inside. He motioned for Chibs to help him up.

As they pulled her off the seat she woke up from her stupor slightly. "Hey man..." She slurred. "Why are you moving me though?.." She garbled.

"S'alright love. Gotta get you warm."

"Ha." Roxy shouted at the sound of Chibs' voice. "You don't care about me." She hiccuped.

"Yeah I do love. C'mon." He helped Juice carry her to their bedroom, which was an epic mess Juice noted.

"S'if. You told him to-" a hiccup- "kill himself. Probably be happy if I did the same."

Juice gave Chibs a panicked look. "What the fuck Roxy?"

"Just leave me alone." She pushed him away as he lay her on the bed.

Juice checked the tablets on her bedside table and noted that none had been taken today. He threw the packet down on the floor and stomped out the room, leaving Chibs to deal with Roxy.

He moved into the living room and sat down on the sofa, Tig tidying up around him.

"She ok?"

"Nope."

"You ok?"

Juice raised his head from his hands. "What do you think?"

Tig sighed and sat next to him. "She still won't talk to me y'know."

"Yeah, well, from what I heard you were pretty rough to her while I was away."

Tig nodded. "Was a shit time. If I could take it back you know I would bro."

Juice let out a humourless chuckle. "Y'know a month ago I thought I'd never hear you guys call me that again."

"I know. But we've moved past it right?"

"Yeah. Yeah I have. Got bigger shit to worry about now." He motioned towards the bedroom. Juice looked down at the coffee table Tig was halfway through cleaning. He noticed the small manila folder there and opened it up. Rifling through Juice could see pamphlets on rape trauma syndrome, PTSD, and anxiety along with a prescription for some medication. Juice recognised it as one given for anxiety.

A fit of rage rolled through Juice and he threw the folder and its contents across the room before booting the coffee table over.

"Fuck!" He yelled.

"Hey, hey, bro just take a deep breath." Tig soothed.

Chibs came bustling out of the bedroom at the sound and surveyed the scene before him. He sighed and walked forward to Juice and tried calming him down.

"This is never gunna end is it? I keep telling Roxy its gunna be ok and we'll get past this. But we won't, will we?!"

Chibs took Juice by the shoulders and forced the younger man to look at him. "You will Juicy. But you gotta help her through this. It's not gunna be quick, you know that. But you can't get angry with her over this."

Juice nodded and sat back down looking over the mess he'd just created with his little tantrum.

"Look, I'll order us a pizza, we'll clean this place up and wait for her to sober up, sound good?"

Juice nodded robotically and waited as Chibs ordered them some food. He looked over the mess of their living room and couldn't help thinking how it reflected the mess of their lives right now and wondering if it'd ever tidy up.


	100. Chapter 100

**A/N: thanks for the reviews guys! Hopefully this chapter makes things a bit happier. Yay! I know it's no where near xmas right now but the show never had anything like that and I figured it was about time for something big for them after prison.**

 **And omg 100 chapters! Never thought I'd write this much or that people would read long enough for me to keep going so thanks to everyone for reading!**

Roxy stirred in bed and rolled over to check the time, head pounding as she moved. Looking at her alarm clock she noted it was a little after 2am, then she wondered how the hell she got into bed. Last she remembered she was on the porch having wanted to watch the sunset. She debated getting up and having a shower but sat bolt upright at the sound of male voices coming from her living room.

The fear paralysed her as panic spread through her body, no ability to move or breathe even. Slowly, as she sat frozen in her bed, she recognised one of the voices as Juice and after another minute or so the other two as Chibs and Tig. She breathed a sigh of relief and slowly relaxed her tensed body and hopped off the bed and trudged shakily over to the bathroom. Originally intending on going for a simple pee Roxy found herself heaving over the toilet bowl as she threw up the contents of her stomach, mainly leftover vodka she imagined.

By the time she flushed she was feeling weaker than ever, but she managed to use the toilet, splash her face in the sink, swill her mouth with mouthwash, and hobble back into the bedroom.

She took off her jeans and button up shirt and replaced them with one of Juice's old tshirts and threw her dressing gown on over the top.

Roxy didn't really know what to say to the men in the living room, unsure as to what they saw, having vaguely remembered swearing at Chibs at some point. So she decided to ignore them and head to the medicine cabinet in the kitchen.

Their chatter died down as Roxy made her way down the hallway into the kitchen and Juice rose from the sofa and walked through to her.

"I'd suggest the migraine tablets and a joint. You're gunna be hungover as fuck." He leant against the counter next to her and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Sure." Roxy popped a couple from the pack and shoved them in her mouth before grabbing the milk out the fridge and drinking out of the carton to wash it down, much to Juice's disgust. "Sorry." She mumbled at his glare.

Juice shrugged. "What happened today Rox?" He ventured.

"I had my first appointment. It was... intense. For want of a better word. She had the doctor come straight down to prescribe me pills... I know they only do that for the real nut cases."

Juice moved in closer to her and tilted her head up so she could meet his eyes. "You're not a nutcase."

Roxy dropped her shoulders and her gaze. "I'm so sorry for you guys finding me like that."

"Well you said some interesting things." He dropped her chin.

"Like what?" Her eyes snapped back up to his.

"That maybe Chibs would be happy if you died... you're not thinking of doing that... are you?" The look in Juice's eyes broke Roxy's heart.

She sighed heavily. "No I'm not thinking of doing anything like that. Honestly." She added at his sceptical look. "I'm just having a hard time right now." She stepped closer and took his hand. "Being hungover already isn't really helping but I didn't mean to scare you J. I promise I'm just working through all this."

"Ok." He pulled her hands up to his mouth and kissed them. "Can you maybe talk to Tig and Chibs though? They've been really helpful to me and I know things were shit with them while I was away but I'm back now and it's good. And Tig loves you, he feels awful about what he said and-"

"- ok, ok I get it." She silenced him. "I'll talk to them provided you make me a coffee."

Juice nodded and watched her shuffle through to the living room before turning around sorting out the coffee maker, taking four cups down from the cupboard.

Roxy slumped onto the sofa at the other end from Tig. She twisted her hands together for a minute or so before talking, leaving Tig and Chibs wondering what was going to happen.

"So I guess I owe you an apology." She looked at both of them before back to her hands. "I'm having a pretty rough time and I don't really know what I'm doing right now."

"Roxy, doll, no one holds it against you. We get the circumstances." Tig edged closer. "I am the one who's sorry. You're like a daughter to me and I just got caught up in all the club shit and said some stuff I really regret. Maybe if I'd helped you then things would be different." He grabbed her hand with his and squeezed it.

"It's not your fault Tig." She gave him a small smile. "Club comes first. I know that."

"Well sometimes I wish it didn't." He pulled her in for a hug.

Chibs spoke up then. "I hope that I can get in on this forgiveness too." He chuckled dryly. "I only said that to Juicy in the hopes he'd get the hell outta dodge... I could probably have gone about it a better way truth be told." Roxy sighed and broke off from Tig.

"I know. Looks like we're all good I guess." She smiled at Chibs.

Juice arrived through with coffee then and Chibs and Tig took their mugs gratefully.

"So, little lady-" Roxy scowled at the nickname Tig hadn't used on her since she was a young girl- "we need to get your head on straight. No more vodka and self pity. Ok?"

Roxy rolled her eyes. "Wish it was that easy." She said as Juice plopped himself down next to her.

xxx xxx

The rest of the week was better, Roxy didn't drink any more and had filled her prescription and gone to three follow up appointments. She was starting to relax a bit more so when Harley and Lyla insisted on taking her to the big mall in Stockton to go Christmas shopping she happily agreed.

Doing an inventory of who she needed to buy presents for she sighed. Her mom was not on that list and she felt kind of bad. Gemma had tried calling a couple of times and despite the fact she could forgive Tig, Chibs, and even Jax to an extent she just couldn't find it in her to forgive her Ma. She had hidden Juice for two weeks without telling her, not to mention the Tara stuff.

Tara was someone who was on the list however. They'd gotten the call last night that she'd woken up, and despite being very very out of it she was somewhat coherent. So today they were running loads of tests and scans to see how her brain function was. But Jax was hopeful given she'd remembered who he was and had asked for her boys. Wendy was still watching them seeing as Jax didn't want them to see Tara just yet. Until she was a bit more with it.

"Ugh this is so hard! He is the worst to buy for. He loves techy stuff but I have no clue what to get and his bike is all up to scratch so nothing there." Roxy grumbled as they pushed their laden carts through the busy pre Christmas crowds. "Usually I'd just buy some sexy lingerie and that'd be perfect but now..." She shrugged.

"Maybe you could still get something? Like you don't have to use it straight away but it could be a bit of a temptation Y'know?" Lyla piped up, Harley eyeing her sceptically.

"Don't push yourself too quickly Rox, it's barely been a month." Harley warned.

"I know, I know. But it was a long time before that with everything that happened. The only time we've been together basically since our engagement was in that motel a couple days before we tried our big escape. I don't want him to... I dunno. Lose interest?"

Harley scoffed. "He won't. If he knows what's good for him." She cackled.

"Look Victoria's Secret is up ahead. If you change your mind just keep it in the box until you are ready."

Roxy considered for a moment before agreeing. She'd bought him a nice bottle of whisky too so worst comes to the worst he'd just have that on Christmas morning.

xxx xxx

Roxy spent a few days wrapping the presents for everyone. Juice had given her free reign of the card to make sure they got everyone they knew a present. Roxy figured he was overcompensating for everything that had gone on, wanting to really show his brothers he cared for them. Not that he had to. Plus it was the club's first Christmas as a group in a couple of years thanks to their stint in Stockton.

By the time Roxy had finished everything it was Christmas Eve. Juice had been down at Scoops or TM all day messing around with everyone getting everything ready for Christmas. The club was having dinner down at Scoops seeing as the only person who's house was big enough to host was Gemma... And it didn't seem right using it after everything. Plus the clubhouse had only just started getting rebuilt. So Scoops it was.

Roxy had finished the wrapping and had everything sprawled out under the tree she'd hastily bought and decorated in the last few days. She'd also spent all day cooking her parts for the lunch tomorrow. Tara wasn't well enough to come out so Jax was going to stop in at Scoops with the boys, grab their presents and some food and take them to Tara at the hospital.

By the time Juice got home she was knocked out in bed, snoring her head off. This was new, her nighttime tablets fully knocked her out but the snoring was a side effect. Juice thought it was funny she was the loud one for once and after surveying everything she'd done that day he figured she needed it. He carefully snuck around the bedroom after putting her presents under the tree and dressed into his track pants and slid in behind her in the bed. He placed a kiss on the back of her head and careful not to wrap himself around her he settled down for sleep.

xxx xxx

"MERRY CHRISTMAS SLEEPY HEAD!" Roxy practically yelled in Juice's face while holding a mug of hot chocolate in her hand.

Juice rubbed his eyes and sat up, Roxy was in her specially purchased Christmas pjs that had little Santas and reindeers printed on the flannel pants and shirt. He smiled at how cute she was with her hair tied up in a messy bun and was glad that she seemed to get out of her downward spiral before she really hit rock bottom.

"Morning baby." He smiled at her.

Roxy placed the mug on his bedside table and bent down to give him a chaste kiss before retreating to her side of the bed for her hot chocolate. Juice looked at the alarm clock and noticed it was only 7am and grumbled.

"Why the fuck are we awake when it's still dark out?"

"I love Christmas and it's our first one." She snuggled under the comforter. "Plus I want to start on presents so hurry up and wake up."

Juice rolled his eyes. She's like a child on Christmas and he hadn't seen it before. He cringed with sadness at this being their first Christmas together in the three years they'd been a couple. Sad that it wasn't happier.

"Fine. But tomorrow I sleep all day." He nudged her with his elbow.

They happily finished their hot chocolates and when they went through to the living area Juice realised she must have been up for a while. There were pancakes and bacon keeping warm in the oven, the dining table was set ready for food and Christmas music was playing softly over the speakers.

"Just how long have you been up?" He raised his eyebrow at her.

"Long enough." She smirked as she ushered him to a chair and pulled everything out of the oven.

By the time breakfast was over they were both stuffed but Roxy dragged him over to the tree and started pulling a pile over to him. Roxy was still unsure if she could go through with her plan for that night so she had got him more presents than she'd originally thought of.

Juice grinned as he opened a bunch of new games for his Xbox. He'd been playing a lot more recently now that he was on limited club time and realised he hadn't really got any new ones since he'd been released from Stockton.

Roxy had also bought him new shirts, some really expensive Whisky, a phone case for his personal iPhone, and a really badass looking leather watch.

"Thanks baby. You got me waaaay too much stuff... but I ain't complaining." He He winked and gave her a soft kiss. "Your turn!" He pulled her presents from under the tree now.

Roxy unwrapped and opened a long thin box, it was a beautiful white gold chain for her wrist with an engraved name plate. The engraving was simple just 'Ortiz' in fancy script and her eyes glassed over as she ran the chain through her fingers.

"This is beautiful J."

He took it from her and clipped it round her wrist. "Figured you could still have my name until we figure out what tattoo you want to do next."

Roxy looked down at the bracelet glinting on her wrist. "Thank you."

"That's not all though, the next one is my favourite." He shoved a flat, letter sized present to her and urged her to open it next.

Roxy looked at him questioningly but took the strange present from his hands and carefully unwrapped it.

Inside was a big envelope and as she took everything out she realised it was all the information for a holiday.

"Paradise Point?"

Juice nodded. "Yeah, it's only in San Diego, my PO said no flying anywhere so it's as good as I could get. Will still be a bit cold in January but I figured we'd be ok. They have heated pools and a spa. And it's like 4.5 stars or some shit, if you don't like it we can go somewhere else or wait until summ-"

Roxy cut him off by pushing her lips onto his and claiming them in a long and deep kiss. She pulled away after a couple of minutes, not wanting to get Juice too excited.

"Are you kidding baby? This is perfect! I'm so excited!"

"Well that's good then." He cracked a massive grin. "10 days of me, you, pools, cocktails, and massages."

Roxy's eyes glazed over imagining how perfect this would be. She'd been on one holiday similar, to Miami with Matt and she enjoyed the resort and pampering... His company not so much. But 10 days with just Juice in pure luxury was exactly what the doctor ordered.

xxx xxx

Scoops was crazy busy with everyone there. It was just Bobby, Tig, Lyla and the kids, Quinn, Montez, West, Rat and Brooke, Jax, Wendy and the boys, Happy and Harley, Chibs, Juice and Roxy, and a couple of the more senior crow eaters but it was loud and crazy. Almost as loud and crazy as the club was in its heyday. But with the dwindling numbers and the constant police interest over the last couple years had made things quiet, especially with the boys in Stockton the last two Christmases.

After they'd finished gorging themselves on food Roxy sat happily in Juice's lap, sipping on some of the Christmas punch Lyla made for them all. She was getting a nice buzz on and was soaking up the warmth of Juice's body for the first time in a long time. Juice had given up on the poker game the other guys were playing and he and Happy had retreated to a booth with the girls who were both sitting on their laps on opposite sides of the table.

Juice let his hand rub up and down Roxy's leg which erupted in goosebumps through her jeans. She turned and looked into his eyes giving him a small cheeky smile.

"Getting handsy there babe." She winked.

"Sorry, can't help it." He kissed her shoulder. "Nice to be close to you again."

"Mmm it is." She squeezed his thigh with her free hand the other clutching her glass of punch. "Wanna head home?"

"If you do. I'm easy."

Roxy let out a small laugh. "Oh I know you are."

Juice playfully slapped her leg. "Whatever." He rolled his eyes.

Harley caught Roxy's eye across the table and gave her a wink, but before Roxy could say anything Happy pulled Harley's attention back to him for a pretty full on kiss. Roxy felt a pang of jealousy at their closeness and decided to try something with Juice.

She turned round and leaned down to his lips, after a second she deepened the kiss and sucked on his lip. Her tongue slid against his, tasting the beer on his tongue as his hand slid up her thigh and he shifted beneath her.

"You ok?" He asked as they broke away.

"Yeah. Let's go."

Juice nodded and helped Roxy slide off his lap before he stood and shuffled out of the booth. They made their goodbyes and gathered the presents everyone had got them and piled them in to the back of the jeep. Juice hopped in the driver's side and Roxy climbed up next to him, thinking over her plan in her head as they drove home.

Juice unloaded the presents while Roxy hurried to their room to get ready. She stripped off and changed into her new negligee and slipped her robe on over the top. She fluffed her hair out and rinsed her mouth with mouthwash before sitting up on the bed with her back against the headboard.

She was so nervous as she waited for Juice, and she hated that. She should be able to just jump him whenever the mood took them. But today was the most they'd touched in weeks and she enjoyed it. She could feel the intrusive thoughts and memories at the back of her mind but allowed the alcohol to dull them and keep them at bay. She hoped this experience would be like ripping off a bandaid and once she'd been with him again this mental block would be gone.

Juice finally came through and changed in the bathroom like he'd taken to doing recently before joining her on the bed, his track pants and tshirt on to keep him warm. It was only then he noticed that she was waiting eagerly on the bed for him.

"Everything ok?" He asked, curious as to the vibe she was giving off.

Roxy snapped out of her reverie and turned to him. "Yeah. Everything's perfect." She pushed her lips onto his once again and relished their smoothness. After a moment she turned and slipped her leg over his middle so she was straddling.

Juice's mind blanked as he felt Roxy grinding on him and he gave in against his better judgement, slipping his hands on her thighs he pushed into the kiss. Roxy slipped off her dressing gown and Juice's heart jumped at seeing her in the royal blue negligee, the little crystal detailings glinting in the dim light of their bedroom.

He knew it was too fast and too soon. Hell it was only a week ago Roxy was ready to drown herself in a bottle of vodka and was afraid of her own shadow.

Roxy pulled his shirt off but as she hurriedly tried to push down his track pants with her shaky hands he stopped.

Grabbing her hands with his he pulled them away. "Roxy, baby no."

Roxy snapped her eyes up to him and misinterpreted his worried expression for one of hesitance or disgust and backed off.

"Yeah, o-of course... I'm sorry I just- I uh-" she swung her leg back over and tied her dressing gown up and attempted to get off the bed. "Obviously you uh, you probably don't wanna go there yet. I'll uh-"

"- baby no that's not what it is." He pulled her to sit back down next to him and tilted her head to look at him. "I just don't wanna rush this."

"No I get it. I know it's been hard on you, having seen it and all, I understand if you don't want me ." She pulled her robe tighter.

Juice sighed and turned into her. "It's not that at all Roxy. Trust me-" he looked down at her slightly exposed cleavage where the gown had opened- "I want you. Tonight has been fucking amazing getting to touch you again is driving me crazy. But I DO NOT want to be the one that hurts you. I don't want you to ever hurt again. And I want you to be ready when we do this and I don't think you are just yet."

Roxy nodded and leaned her head into him. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to be close to you."

"We can be close in other ways." He tilted her head up for a kiss.

Roxy pulled him down with her as she lay back on the bed and they broke the kiss and she stroked his cheek with her fingers.

"I don't understand how you are being so strong about this."

"Because I love you." He mumbled against her lips. Roxy deepening the kiss once again and it got him going. "And when we do this again-" he slid his hand from her face down to her chest, giving her breasts some attention- "I want you to enjoy it-" he kissed and sucked his way down to her chest and Roxy wriggled underneath him- "you're gunna want it-" he kissed further south- "you're gunna want me-" he slipped her thong down from underneath her negligee- "and you're gunna feel so good."

Roxy moaned as he kissed her thighs before moving closer to her. Juice was careful to be gentle but he wanted her to feel good and he'd said before baby steps so he wasn't about to rush into this. Maybe if she was ok with this they'd progress down the track later. But for now he was happy with trying to make her happy.

"Juan!" She moaned breathlessly as she found her release, grasping at his stubbly head.

Juice kissed his way back up her body as Roxy breathed deeply through her afterglow. Their lips met briefly and he pulled away, murmuring against her lips "merry Christmas."

"That was good."

"Yeah? No worries?"

"None at all baby." She smiled.

"Good, now go to sleep baby." He stroked her stomach with his fingertips.

"What about you though?"

"What about me?"

Roxy slid her hand briefly over the bulge in his track pants, it was very prominent against the black fabric.

"It'll be ok, just give me a few minutes." He chuckled.

"C-can I try something?" She asked as she moved down the bed.

"Roxy don't worry about it. I'll get over it, I'm a big boy."

"Yes you are." She smirked as she pulled his track pants down, freeing him.

"Don't do anything you're not 100% with, please?"

Roxy nodded and started by kissing down his chest, letting her hand grasp him and slide up and down. Juice let out a long moan at the feeling of her on him and couldn't help but thrust gently upwards as she squeezed causing Roxy to back off slightly.

"Sorry." He said sheepishly.

"It's ok, just keep talking to me. Wanna hear your voice."

Juice nodded. He had no problem with dirty talk, but he had to be careful what he said.

He gasped when Roxy took him in her mouth and half moaned/half whispered encouragements as she went, which wasn't hard as she was so good.

"Roxy baby I'm gunna-" he tried to pull her away but Roxy pushed his hands away and took him in deeper causing him to swear out as she swallowed him.

"Holy shit Roxy, that's usually good but fuck that was amazing." He panted.

"It's just because it's been a while." She murmured while she sorted herself out.

"You ok?" He asked.

"Yeah. Very ok." She smiled honestly before getting up and quickly changing into her pjs again.

After she slipped back into the bed she quickly took her night time tablets and turned back to cuddle into him.

"I love you so much." She whispered to his chest.

"I love you too." He squeezed her as he wrapped his arm tighter around her. "I hope that was ok."

"It actually was. I'm sorry for pushing too far before. I'm glad you had the sense to stop me. I think you were right about it being too much."

"I am always right." He chuckled. "But hey at least you know you can still feel good and maybe we can build from there ok?"

"Someone's been reading the information book from the doctor." She stroked his abs.

"Gotta do my research to be right. But in all seriousness I wanna do this right. I want to help you."

She looked up to kiss him again and stroked her hand over his head. "Your hair is growing long again."

"Yeah, thinking on going back to my straight outta Stockton look." He said, laughing at his own joke.

"I did like the longer locks."

"Gives you something to grab on to hey?"

She gave a short tug on his hair. "Yup." More kisses.

"C'mon. I'm tired after all that food today, need to get into my food coma state."

"Ok babe. Thanks for an awesome first Christmas."

"No thank you. First one in a long time I've felt this happy."

"Me too." She considered, Christmas in NY with Matt and shuddered, how she thought she was happy then she had no idea. They were so cold both in weather and emotion. Now, despite everything that has happened, she felt warm and happy with Juice, just lying in bed in his arms was the best present she could have asked for.


	101. Chapter 101

**A/N: thanks again for the reviews, follows, and favourites. This chapter and the next one are short but hopefully happy. From there we'll be back into club drama and hopefully heading towards the happy ending they both deserve!**

New Year's Eve had gone much the same way as Christmas, it was relatively quiet but still a good night at Scoops once again. Since then Roxy and Juice had kept their explorations to what she had been comfortable with on Christmas but a couple of times she did have slight freak outs. It had been two weeks since New Years and they were getting ready to go on their trip, but last night she'd had a pretty big freak out and locked herself in the bathroom for two hours. After sitting in the shower for a good part of that she'd found Juice on the floor outside the bathroom door, passed out from sheer exhaustion. She'd been glad he wasn't involved in much club stuff right now otherwise she'd be worried about him passing out on the job. He and Jax had been tasked with watching over TM and the clubhouse rebuild so at least if he fell asleep while servicing a car he'd be safer than on a stakeout or something.

Juice ended up sleeping on the sofa that night to give her the bed, he'd insisted, not wanting to roll over again in his sleep and pin her to the bed, which is what had happened initially, causing her to elbow him in the stomach pretty hard before slapping and scratching him as he tried to calm her down.

Roxy had handed in her notice to Joey just after Christmas, her unpaid leave running out after New Years and she knew she wasn't ready to go back to work. He wasn't happy but she told him she just couldn't do it right now. Today she'd booked an urgent appointment with her counsellor as a result of last nights shenanigans so she knew that once again working full time was not going to work for her. And that angered her more. Everything had been taken from her, right down to her freedom to work.

After the appointment she decided to go up and see Tara. She'd popped by a couple of times since Christmas and she'd been doing well. Originally she'd been worried Tara would hate her but she was surprisingly forgiving, saying it wasn't Roxy's or Juice's fault for things going down the way they did. That blame lied solely on Gemma. Lyla was in touch with Nero still and last they heard they'd moved to Nero's farm like he'd dreamed. Roxy considered calling her but couldn't bring herself to do it.

She plopped down in the seat beside Tara's bed.

"So how's it going?" She questioned.

"Well I'm being released next week. Still have to do some physical therapy and stuff but I'll be at home in my own bed!"

"Oh that's such good news Tara!" She hugged her. "The boys are going to be so happy to have you back."

Tara smiled a small smile. "Yeah they are. I'm just so thankful everything worked out the way it has. Could have been much worse." She was quiet for a moment. "I just wanted to say I am so sorry for how everything went down before this. With the 'miscarriage' and all. I was just so stuck and Jax wasn't listening. But things are different now."

"Yeah. They are. Don't dwell on it Tara. I haven't." She offered a smile.

The sat and quietly watched the tv for a bit until Tara broke it again. "Are you ok, Rox? You look really tired."

Roxy sighed lengthily. "I am tired Tara." She turned to face her. "I'm so tired of not being able to do anything without freaking out. And to top it off I've lost yet another amazing job because of everything."

"Roxy you're just gunna have to give it time."

"I know, I know. But I mean last night I freaked out because Juice cuddled me in his sleep." She let a few tears escape. "It's like one step forwards 10 steps backwards. I had to make an appointment straight away this morning before I lost my mind. I mean we're going away next week and I think Juice had hopes that things would, y'know, progress, but now all I can think of is that he'll be on the sofa in the room and me on the bed. Not such a romantic holiday." She wiped her face.

"Roxy, if ANY of these guys can deal with this its Juice. Trust me on that. He's going to be fine and so will you."

"Maybe." Roxy sighed. Tara knew there wasn't much point in arguing the fact so she let it be.

xxx xxx

"How are you baby?" Juice asked softly as he came through the door.

Roxy was sitting on the sofa, with one of these self help recovery stories, when Juice arrived home.

"I'm ok." He plopped down next to her and thunked his sock clad feet onto the coffee table, groaning audibly as he relaxed. He slung his arm over Roxy and pulled her in slightly towards him. Roxy closed the book and tossed it on to the coffee table.

"What's that?" Juice questioned.

"A book my counsellor gave me." She twisted her hands nervously.

"Is it good?" He asked with his eyes closed.

"Uhh I suppose. It's a self help book."

"Oh." His eyes opened.

"Look I'm really sorry about last night."

"Honestly, Roxy, for like the hundredth time you do not need to be sorry."

"I know, I know but I just feel like you're carrying all the burden and I feel like I'm keeping you in the cold and like... trapping you or something."

"I can't keep having this conversation Roxy." He pulled up so he could turn to her. "I don't feel like that. This isn't a burden and even if it was its mine too so please stop apologising. I gave you that ring knowing that the vows are 'for better or worse'."

"Yeah but I won't blame you if you want to take it back."

Juice huffed. "I'm not taking it back. Ever. So deal with it."

Roxy gave a watery laugh. "Ok then. I'm sorry- I mean... I dunno." She chuckled again.

"When's your next appointment?"

"Tomorrow."

"Can I come with?"

"Uhhh sure. I guess?"

"Cool. I just think it might help if we both talk to you at the same time. Maybe it'll help."

"Yeah... Ok. It's not pretty, I'm warning you now."

"That's fine by me. Plus we go on holiday next week so we can relax. Maybe being away and getting pampered and shit will help."

"Ohhh massages and cocktails sound good to me right now."

"Ok. It's settled then. Good job I've got a grand to put on the bar tab huh?"

Roxy hummed her agreement and ran her fingertips over the scratch marks on his cheek. "One thing I am allowed to say I'm sorry for are these scratches."

Juice chuckled. "Tig had a lot to say about them. Thinks I'm a battered husband."

"He'll be battered in a minute." She scowled.

"Don't worry about him." He kissed her head. "Now what's for dinner?"

xxx xxx

It had taken Roxy like a week to pack, completely unable to figure out what the hell she was supposed to bring with her and so she decided on everything.

"I wish we were taking the bike Rox." Juice said as he loaded their bags into the Jeep.

"Uh uh. No way would I be sitting on the back of a bike for 7 hours! Let it go Juice."

"But it would be so sweet, just us on the road..." He was daydreaming again.

"Yeah would be sweet for a half hour till I started bitching for the rest of the 6 and half."

"Whatever." He closed the door after chucking the bags in. "Plus you are incapable of packing light."

"We're going for almost two weeks. I dunno what we are doing down there so I need to be prepared for all options."

"Babe I've managed to do that and still only bring my carry bag."

"You're used to living out of a bag on the back of a bike. I, on the other hand, am a woman of many needs. So suck it up."

"Alright then woman." He smirked. "Get in the car."

It was a little after 8am and they had a full day's drive ahead of them so they had to get a move on. Juice settled into the drive and it reminded him of their trip when they got engaged, listening to Roxy singing, stopping at gas stations for pee breaks and quick bites to eat, he loved seeing her smiling and joking around.

By the time they reached Paradise Point it was dinner time so Juice quickly checked them in so they could get ready for a nice dinner.

"Oh my gosh J this place is amazing!" Roxy's eyes were wide as they looked around the Bayview suite. They had a fantastic view of the bay, a King size bed, a big spa bath, and of course a massive television next to the mini bar. The room was lush and decorated in deep reds and golds and it was just perfect.

Roxy stood on her tiptoes and pulled him down for a deep kiss, brushing her tongue against his lips he parted them for her and her tongue slid against his. Roxy pushed herself into him and stroked his cheek with one hand as the other slid down his chest. After a couple of minutes they pulled apart and Roxy looked a bit flushed, which made Juice smile. He brought a hand up to cup her cheek and stroked over it with the pad of his thumb.

"So you like my present?"

"Very much Juan."

"Oh I got a Juan out of you, it must be good." He smirked.

"Whatever cheeseball. So what's for dinner?"

"I'm thinking the little restaurant just down the beach there."

"Sounds good to me. We can have a quick bite then I think we try out that bathtub in there?"

"That seems like a very good idea." He turned her around and pushed her gently to their suitcases. "Get yourself ready."

Juice hopped in for a quick shower and smartened himself up a bit as soon as Roxy hopped out. They stole brief glances at each other, blushing as if they were teenagers, but managed to get dressed quickly. Roxy had her tight black jeans and a loose silver sweater with a deep v neck. Juice opted for his usual jeans and black shirt.

They enjoyed a peaceful dinner, flirting, talking, eating, Roxy sipping on cocktails and Juice on beers. They just enjoyed each other's company in a relaxed environment and Juice couldn't feel any more in love. He knew he loved Roxy and that she was the one for him, but despite everything she'd been through in the last couple months, hell the last 18 months since Ireland, Stockton, and the baby, here she was joking and laughing with him, looking at him like he hung the moon.

After dessert they wandered back through the resort to their room, sneaking a peak at everything along the way. Roxy had an eye on the cool looking pool not far from their room for a morning swim.

Roxy laced her fingers through Juice's and smiled up at him as they walked towards the suite. "I love you, y'know that?"

"I think I know that." He squeezed her hand and they walked in silence for a moment, Juice consolidating his thoughts. Tonight was probably the most carefree and romantic they'd been for a while and Juice didn't think he'd ever had such a night with a woman before. "I don't think you've ever looked more beautiful than you did tonight smiling at dinner."

Roxy stopped walking, they were currently just outside their suite but she had to stop with him being so sincere.

"I've never felt more beautiful. Seriously Juan, you're the one who brings it out. No matter what you've had my back and you've supported and encouraged me. You make me feel so good and I know it hasn't seemed like it much lately but I'm looking forward to everything we have in store, because if we can get through this together I know we can get through anything." She stood on her tiptoes and pushed a soft kiss into his lips. "Now let's quit with the sappy shit and get in that bath." She brushed past him into their room, stripping along the way.

xxx xxx

That night they'd relaxed in their spa bath with more drinks, music playing through the tv. They were still taking things slow but it was good to be able to be close and explore each other again. Juice enjoyed the closeness, it was a different kind of intimacy than what he was used to and he was thankful that even through this shit time he was experiencing that.

Juice had always required physical love as a way of reinforcing relationships with him. To him it showed that he was important to them and that by having their attention he knew they were thinking about him. But with Roxy things were changing and their less sexual, more emotional, physical connections were showing him a different side to love than he'd had before. Roxy had brought up the sweet butts multiple times, especially with his new role at RedWoody, but he found he was not interested in the slightest, even if he hadn't had sex in two months. And two months was the longest he'd gone since being a Son, not including his stint Stockton but that wasn't by choice.

He knew Roxy was worried about going back home in terms of club life. Juice's ban would be up and he'd be a full vote carrying member again and fully involved in club business. Although they were moving to legitimate business Roxy knew club life would always be dangerous and the thought of going back to that was unsettling for her. Not to mention his new role at RedWoody was back to being their tech officer. Which meant Juice would be reviewing and uploading their porn videos, ensuring membership to the site was accessible, along with payment options, but he'd also be working at the studio making sure the rough cuts and things were stored appropriately and along with his knowledge of editing software he'd be helping Lyla and Harley with editing if needed.

However Roxy pushed her worries out of her mind and attempted to stay in the moment and enjoy the holiday. She wanted to go all the way with Juice, the time just seemed right and the perfect location for such a monumental step in her recovery and their relationship. She didn't want worries over insecurities about the porn girls clouding her judgement.

Roxy began formulating a plan in her mind, a plan to show Juice just how much she loved and missed him and wanted him. Needed him, even. But ultimately it was a plan to take her body back and be at peace within herself.


	102. Chapter 102

**A/N: interesting things to come. Hope you enjoy this chapter and as always, thanks for the reviews!**

Roxy and Juice spent the first few days of their getaway together. They'd gone walking, exploring the nearby beaches and lagoons, swimming in the hotel's many pools, and shopping in San Diego one of the days. Roxy had decided on her special night for Juice and decided today they'd do all the romantic stuff. Juice refused a lot of the hotel's spa treatments and just hung around while Roxy indulged herself, but he finally agreed to having a couple's massage.

The two ladies set up in Roxy and Juice's room while they sat on the little balcony and sipped on some drinks.

"You excited for your first proper massage?" Roxy asked him. She couldn't believe he'd never had a proper one before, as in not one delivered by a prostitute at Diosa.

"Suppose." He smirked at her.

"We are ready for you." The beautiful blonde masseuse appeared at the door and gestured for them to come through, smiling sweetly at Juice as he passed.

"Please undress and then lie face down on the tables, you can cover with the towels. We'll wait in the bathroom until you're ready."

Roxy nodded at the tall brunette as she turned to follow the blonde into the bathroom.

Juice had already shucked his shirt and was working on his pants when Roxy turned back to face him.

"Excited are we?"

"Not really. Just wanna finish so we can get back to the pool." He laughed.

Roxy smiled and turned back around to start undressing. "Why'd they have to send the two hottest masseuses in the place?" She said quietly to herself, but jumped when she felt Juice's hands on her sides and his lips on her neck.

"We could send them away, I can massage you real good." Roxy laughed and looked up into his eyes while a boyish smirk played on his lips.

"I'm sure you could Juan Carlos but they're already here and it'd be a shame for it to go to waste." Roxy kissed his lips quickly before pushing him off her. "Now hurry up before they walk in on something they don't wanna see."

Juice just shrugged and smirked again before pulling down his boxers and laying on the table. Roxy hurriedly pulled the towel over his bare ass before jumping on to her table and waiting for the ladies to come back in, feeling her stomach twist slightly at the idea of the blonde rubbing up on Juice.

The next hour was magical, though she did glance at Juice a few times and happened to see the appreciation in the blonde masseuse's eyes when Juice turned over to reveal his toned chest. However she managed to relax and before long the ladies were gone.

Juice had gone for a shower first and when Roxy finished hers he was passed out on the bed, ESPN playing softly on the tv. She looked over his shirtless form, covered only by his swimming shorts, and could feel the need growing within her. She decided tonight was the night. Roxy figured that while he was sleeping she could nip out and get everything set up.

She tiptoed across the room and grabbed her purse before slipping on her sandals and quietly exiting the room.

Her first stop was the resort restaurant where she organised room service for dinner. They said they could have their food up there in an hour or so, Roxy had ordered Juice a steak with his favourite trimmings, he'd had it the other night and raved about how good it was, while she ordered the creamy tomato pasta she'd loved. Of course she had to get the fruit and chocolate fondue that was on the menu for dessert and the waiter raised an eyebrow knowing full well why she'd be ordering that for room service, but she brushed it off and made her way over to the bar. The poolside bar delivered cocktails to your room, for a good tip of course, so she ordered a bunch of beers for Juice and a couple of cocktails for her. Sex on the beach was by far her favourite so she made sure to order a couple of them. Then she decided, seeing as there was still time, that she'd indulge in one for now, so she took a seat at the quiet end of the bar and ordered a daiquiri while she had a smoke.

The poolside bar was fairly crowded with the late afternoon swimmers, however Roxy was happy to watch people enjoy themselves. There were a few children laughing and splashing in the water and she yearned for the day her and Juice would be able to take their kids on holidays. It was doubtful it would ever work out for them but she could still dream, dream of a little boy with his father's eyes or a girl with his grin and cheeky attitude.

Roxy was quite happily sipping on her second daiquiri, enjoying her smokes while she people watched. She still had half an hour till dinner, but it'd take her a few minutes to set up the room so she figured she should hit the road soon. She worked on downing her daiquiri while she looked out, but she was stirred from her thoughts by a presence sitting on the stool beside her.

"What's a woman like you doin hangin in the bar all alone?" It was one of the young, rather muscly looking college guys who had been messing around at the other end of the bar. Obviously he'd seen her alone and decided to give it a shot.

Roxy felt the pit of unease swell in her stomach as she looked for an escape route from this strange man. He was probably innocent enough but she still felt trapped.

"My fiancé is sleeping so figured I'd grab a drink." She shrugged, trying to play nonchalant but she didn't know if he could tell her breathing had increased to short rapid breaths.

"That's a shame. I could show you a real good time if he's such a party pooper."

"I'm good, thanks. Just gunna head back." Roxy mumbled as he got closer.

When he ran his fingertips up her denim clad thigh she shivered at his touch and almost passed out from the sudden course of adrenalin in her veins, but then the hand was gone.

Roxy snapped her eyes up at Juice's cold voice and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Now I know you didn't just have your hands on my fiancée." Juice growled.

The guy smirked and looked Juice up and down, he had a few inches on Juice and was one of those college guys that obviously played football and was pure muscle, but Roxy doubted he'd ever hold his own in a fight against Juice.

"Your fault for letting a sexy piece of ass out of your sight." He winked at Roxy who'd moved off her stool to stand behind Juice.

Juice stepped forward with clenched fists while Roxy grabbed at the back of his shirt whispering that it wasn't worth it.

"You ever touch her again and I will cut your hands off and shove them down your fucking throat." Juice growled menacingly at the college guy.

It was only then that he noticed the reaper on Juice's forearm and it obviously clicked. He put his hands up in surrender and backed up slightly. "My bad bro, just trying to pick up a pretty lady."

"Yeah? Well keep your hands to yourself next time asshole." Juice glared as the college guy left back over to his buddies who all clearly started giving him shit as they watched Roxy and Juice walk away with his arm over her shoulder.

"What the fuck were you doing out drinking by yourself? Gave me a fuckin heart attack Rox." Juice said calmly as they walked back to the suite.

Roxy calmed more with every step, she knew she was making the right move tonight as she just felt so safe with Juice. This incident just cemented that in her mind.

"I was just organising us some dinner and drinks. But you were asleep so I went by myself. Wanted to surprise you." She said as she opened the door to their room.

"Well surprise me you did." He pulled her back against his chest as they walked into the room, peppering kisses on her neck. "Keeping me on my toes by picking up college dudes?" He chuckled, trying to make light of the situation and not detail their night.

"What can I say, the whole football player aesthetic really appeals to me." She turned in his arms and kissed him soundly on the lips as she walked backwards into the room.

Juice had his eyes open for the kiss so he could see where they were going, so he pushed her away when he saw the food all set up on the table out on the balcony.

"Uhh looks like our food was delivered."

Roxy turned to check it out. "Oh yeah. This was my surprise. And our drinks are here too." They moved over to the table and took their seats and tucked in.

Juice took in her cocktails and smirked. "Sex on the beach?"

Roxy winked. "We'll see." She took a long sip and watched the smirk pull at his lips as he focused on the food. Roxy rubbed his calf with her foot under the table and he snapped his eyes up to hers.

"What's up?"

"Nothing. I'm just having a really good time."

Juice smiled again. "I'm glad. This is the first time I've ever taken a girl away, well aside from the hotel in Eureka."

"Wish I could say the same." Roxy mumbled. Juice raised his eyebrow in question. "Matt used to take me to places like this, but God it was awful. I literally would just sit by the bar all day alone, or in the spa while he played golf and shit. Then he'd come by and make me dress up for fancy dinners with his wanky friends. I used to hate it. At least in New York I had my own time and space. On holiday you're kinda trapped with your company." Juice didn't really know what to say to that so he took a swig of beer. Roxy picked up on his quiet thoughts so she put her hand over his. "Holiday with you though Juan? It's like heaven. Seriously. I cannot think of anywhere else I'd rather be right now."

Juice smiled and put down his beer. "Yeah, ok. Me either." He reassured her with a hand squeeze.

They continued to eat in peace watching the sunset, with a few conversations about places to go tomorrow. After they'd finished Roxy pulled Juice over to the lounger so they could look out over the beach. She still had another cocktail to go so she happily sipped it while snuggled against him. Juice relaxed against the lounger, beer in one hand while the other played with Roxy's hair. Roxy eventually put her glass on the coffee table and leaned in closer to Juice, catching his lips in a soft kiss. Juice stroked the back of her hair and encouraged her to kiss him harder. What he didn't know, however, is that Roxy needed no encouragement whatsoever.

It had been two months since they were last together, since everything with Lin happened. She was ready. Roxy's counsellor had talked her through this numerous times and during the counselling session they'd attended together they had talked about their expectations of their physical relationship and how to avoid some of Roxy's triggers, she was confident this would work, so she stood and pulled him up.

"Where we going?" He shot the last dregs of his beer and placed it on the table before following her inside.

Roxy was stripping as she walked towards the spa bath and she gestured for him to come with her.

Roxy turned on the tap and started blasting hot water into the tub. There were several fountains that turned on to fill the tub and when she turned around Juice was standing in his shorts in front of her.

"What's on your mind?" He questioned.

"Absolutely nothing." She circled her arms around his neck and kissed him as the bath filled up.

After a couple of minutes the tub was full and Roxy finally stepped out of her underwear and into the tub. Juice took in the full view of her body before she sunk into the bubbling water, the curve of her ass into her waist, her full bust, delicate arms and neck, then the gorgeous smile plastered on her face.

He had truly never been so happy, everything was clicking for him now. He'd always known he loved Roxy, but their growing intimacy in the last weeks, especially the first few days of his holiday, had almost switched a light bulb in his head and it just drove him crazier for her. If that was possible.

He almost fell into the water beside her, he was so nervous for some reason. He figured what Roxy had coming, the fancy dinner, the endless cocktails acting as liquid courage, he knew what she wanted to do and he was just as nervous as her. It was like he was a virgin all over again. He barely remembered his first time, drunk and high as a teenager at a party in Queens, he'd gladly change it for tonight.

The spa bath looked out windows onto the beach, it was high enough that no one on the dark beach would be able to see in, but they had a good view of the water and stars.

Juice pulled her into him, arm around her shoulders, the tension in the air was thick, only broken by the noise of the jets bubbling the water around them. Eventually Roxy turned to him and without words pushed her lips to his. Juice slipped his tongue against hers, moaning as Roxy slid her hand down his abdomen under the water. He gasped as she took him in her hand, stroking him to full attention, while her hand moved under the water Roxy moved her lips down his neck kissing and sucking along the way. Before she could get too carried away, however, Juice pulled her lips back to his, gliding his hands up her sides to cup her chest. Roxy moaned as he let his hands roam her chest, his lips kissing her neck now and playfully biting her earlobe before speaking.

"What do you want baby?" His voice was low and husky in her ear.

"You baby." Roxy gasped as one of his hands found its place between her thighs. Roxy gasped more and ground against him as he used his fingers to work her into a frenzy. "Please Juan?" She bit down on his shoulder as he continued.

"I told you the next time we did this you'd want it. Do you want it?" He pulled her closer against him with his free hand.

"Y-yeah baby. I do. Please."

"You're sure?"

Roxy pulled back and looked into his eyes before kissing him deeply. That was all the encouragement he needed and he pulled her leg over his and continued kissing her as she rubbed against him.

"Please do it."

"I love you so fucking much." He declared huskily as he slowly slid into her.

Roxy moaned deeply at the feeling and rested her forehead against his, she was so happy at the feeling of being joined with him again that she couldn't move.

"Are you ok?" He worried at her lack of movement and was ready to pull her off him and attempt some kind of damage control, petrified that he'd allowed this to go too fast too soon, but she kissed him and cut off all train of thought as she rocked against him.

The two made love, and Juice thought to himself he'd 'made love' before with Roxy, and maybe his one other previous serious girlfriend but nothing like this. Nothing as intimate and slow and passionate as this. He got totally lost in the moment, the feeling of Roxy's hands rubbing over him, her slow grinding encouraging his gentle upwards thrusts as the water lapped against them. Roxy stroked his cheeks with her hands then ran them slowly through his short hair as he grasped at her breasts and rubbed her clit.

Eventually they climaxed, Roxy moaning into his neck as he gripped her waist and she rolled off him, breathing deeply as she slid down into the water again. Juice turned to her and smiled at her dazed expression.

"How was that?" He questioned.

"Amazing." She said softly through a smile.

"How do you feel?"

Roxy snuggled into his side in an attempt to reassure him. "Loved."

xxx xxx

Roxy and Juice spent the remainder of their holiday in a loved up bliss. They had sex almost every night after that first time, trying different things and even though Roxy had a couple of freak outs she wanted to try again the next night. So by the time they got back to Charming Juice felt like they were back to normal, well... not normal like before but whatever this new normal was.

Everything seemed to be going well in their relationship and it also seemed to be going well in their life too. The club was back on track in terms of RedWoody and the clubhouse being rebuilt. Although they still had to get out of gun running. Juice was anxious to get back to the table with Jax and start helping the club again. Things with Jax were going ok. Juice had to work with him a lot since Chibs delivered their sanctions and Juice knew that after they'd 'sorted it' in the ring he just had to suck it up and work with him for the good of the club. He still felt like he had a lot to prove even though everything seemed like it was so far in the past he knew it wasn't. But he was ready to move on, and it seemed like Roxy was too. In the few days since they'd been home she had been researching the fertility treatments and the type of options open to them. The more she thought about their plans to have kids the more she longed for her Ma. Her phone was disconnected now and all she longed for was to ask for her advice. But she knew she couldn't betray her brother and the club like that, no matter how badly she missed Gemma. However, tonight she was putting it all on hold as she joined Juice down at the clubhouse.

Everyone was there to do a walk through of the new club rooms to see what needed doing before they began decking it out.

Roxy walked around the shell of a room that would be the barroom and smirked at how barren it looked and the idea that would be changing in the coming months. The debauchery to come would certainly ruin the clean look of the room as it stood.

"And this is the new kitchen." Jax announced as they walked into the, much larger, kitchen space. "We'll get the girls to go over the fit-out next week but I'm sure everyone will be happy with the bigger room." Jax offered as Roxy and Tara looked around the room.

"Damn straight. Ma always complains about the 'shitty space' in here." Roxy said absentmindedly as she ran her hand along the wall.

Everyone shifted awkwardly as Jax retorted. "Well no one gives a shit about her 'shitty space' any more Rox." He bit back.

Roxy stopped in her walk and snapped her head up to her brother, not having realised what she'd said out loud. "Sorry for speaking asshole." She huffed. "I'm allowed to miss her, aren't I? I can't help but feeling like she'd know how to fix everything up again."

"Well she's never getting that chance. You'll just have to deal with that. She's poison."

"Y'know what Jax," she stepped forwards to him, "you're not the only person that was burned in the mess YOU started. You're not the only person who has to live with that hurt. So sorry if I feel like I want my mom from time to time."

"Whatever Rox. I thought you were stronger than that but I guess not." He snarled.

Juice stepped forward then to break this up, just because he had to make up with Jax for the club, didn't mean he had to sit by and watch this. "Whoa brother, you needa back the fuck off." He stepped between the two siblings.

"No, it's fine Juice. I'm leaving." Roxy stormed past the silent bikers as she nudged Jax with her shoulder along the way.

Chibs finally broke the tension, the rest of the club having no idea what to say when the siblings started on each other so they kept quiet.

"Tha' was a bit harsh Jackie Boy." He reasoned.

"Yeah? Well I'm sick of feeling like the bad guy in all this." He explained.

"Well I'm sick of picking up the pieces every single time you fuck over Rox. You got no idea what hell she's been through these last few months, and almost every part of it points back to you. You need to man the fuck up and take responsibility for your actions." Juice scorned, Chibs ready to break up the ensuing fight.

"You better watch what you're saying there Juice." Jax threatened as Tara and Happy stepped up to calm him.

"Or what? Gunna try killing me again?" Juice stepped closer around Chibs. "You're not president any more. No one to do your dirty work this time you fucking coward, you're gunna have to do it yourself."

"Well I am president and I'm breaking this shit up." Chibs barked. "Now! Juicy Boy go find Rox and take her home. Jax you needa step out back and cool off."

Juice threw one last glare at Jax before nodding and following out after Roxy. He found her pacing near his bike and she snapped her head up when he approached.

Juice wrapped his arms around her as soon as he saw her. "I'm taking him back in the ring, fucking beat his ass." He threatened.

Roxy chuckled at his lame threat. "You don't need to. I don't think anything is gunna get sense through that thick skull. Just take me home."

"I can do that. It's been a bit crazy since we got back hey?"

"Just a bit. But that's club life I guess."

"Yeah well, you're my priority right now. So let's get home." He handed her the other helmet and slung his leg over the bike, waiting for her to settle behind him before kicking over the bike.

They were just crawling towards the gates when Tara caught their attention, so Juice pulled up.

"Look I don't wanna hear it tonight Tara. I just wanna go home."

"I know, I just wanted to apologise to him, it's kinda my fault he's being an ass to you right now." She explained breathlessly.

"What? Why?" Roxy questioned, unable to fathom what the hell Tara could have done to irk Jax.

"This was not the way I wanted to tell you this. Can I come by tomorrow?"

"Sure... Why?"

"It's about the whole baby thing." Roxy and Juice looked at each other before back to Tara. "I think I can help you."


	103. Chapter 103

**A/N: so glad you're liking the story and thanks as always to Lennon and AngR for your faithful reviews.**

 **We are back to club stuff soon now Juicy Boy and Rox are settled. So enjoy the last filler chapter.**

Roxy and Juice spent the night wondering what the hell Tara was on about. Roxy figured it would just be about a doctor she knew who would maybe help them out or something. So when Tara arrived the next morning they were shocked at what she had to say.

"I want to carry your baby." Tara stated calmly, as if she hadn't just made a shock revelation that the couple had not expected.

They sat in the lounge room, Roxy and Juice next to each other on the sofa while Tara sat on the recliner opposite them.

"What?" Roxy questioned after looking at Juice.

"Look I know it's a bit full on and sudden but I want to do this for you. If you talk to a specialist and it's too hard or whatever I'd be a surrogate for your baby."

Juice exhaled deeply. "I don't really know what to say to that." He chanced a glance at Roxy who was looking down at her hands but before he could say anything she abruptly stood from the table and ran out the back door. "Shit. I better go see her. Hang tight."

Juice stood and followed after Roxy to their back deck. She was sitting down on the stairs looking out over the yard. Juice plopped down next to her and pulled his smokes from his kutte pocket and offered her one. Roxy took it and wiped a year from her eye.

"What's wrong?" He ventured.

Roxy exhaled a long stream of smoke. "It's just a lot. I hadn't really thought about giving up so soon but I guess it was maybe a bit naive of me to think this would work for us."

Juice put an arm round her shoulder and pulled her against him. "Baby this is not giving up. This is just an option, one of many and we'll think about it. But we will keep trying just you and me first."

"It's been well over a year since I lost Gabriel, J. I think we just have to face it that it's not gunna happen for us."

"Hey I've only been outta Stockton for like 6 months. We don't know that it's not gunna work."

"I guess..."

"Look let's go in there, hear Tara out and see where we go from there. Ok? It's just another option for us." Juice reasoned.

Roxy nodded and stood up, chucking her butt on the ground and stomping on it.

Juice pulled her into him for a kiss, he was taking any opportunity to enjoy their renewed closeness these days, fully aware it could disappear again if Roxy was faced with a setback.

They broke apart and moved back to the living room where Tara was pacing nervously.

"I'm so sorry Roxy, it was a stupid idea. I'm sorry if I overstepped my boundaries."

Roxy held a hand up. "It's not that. It's just a lot happening right now and I kinda freaked." She gestured for them all to take another seat and she leant forward on her knees. "I love you Tara and I want to thank you so much for offering. Right now though we are gunna see a specialist and just confirm once and for all the chances of this happening for us naturally before we look at other options. But I can't think of anyone I'd want to share the experience with more. So thank you."

Tara nodded quietly. "I know it's a bit random but I felt like it was something I could help you with. And there's no chance I can go back to work, at least not right now, too much unknown damage to my brain right now to think about that. And so what better time to do it? Right?"

"Wow, that's uh... that's pretty fast Tara." Juice commented. "This why Jax was pissed?"

"Yeah. Kind of, it was a mix of things really. But he's just in a weird place right now and we're still trying to figure out our new normal and he thinks this is too much too soon."

"I won't disagree with him there." Juice added.

"Don't worry about him. He's my problem." She stood to leave. "I'll leave you guys to it. Sorry for the bombshell. I just thought you should know why Jax was being an ass." Roxy stood and followed her to the door. "Just think about it, ok?"

"Of course, Tara." They hugged and and Roxy closed the door behind her and walked back over to the sofa to plop down next to Juice. She slung her legs over his and leaned back against the arm of the chair.

"So do you think the whole head trauma thing fucked with her brain?" Juice ventured humorously.

Roxy chuckled dryly. "Probably, but jeez. What the fuck do we say to that? And how do we handle Jax?"

"Oh I'll be handling Jax. Don't you worry about that." Juice glowered.

"Juice don't, it's really not worth it."

He chuckled dryly. "Oh yeah, it is. He wouldn't stand for anyone of us talking to Tara like that. So he doesn't get to do that to my Old Lady without any blow back."

"Tara's not anyone's sister. It's different."

"How is it different Rox? He shouldn't be treating you like that, sister or not." He turned to face her fully and grabbed her hands in his. "The shit you've been through because of this club is ridiculous." Roxy could see the emotion in his eyes as he spoke and it broke her heart slightly. "I'll never forgive myself for what happened to you and he simply just doesn't seem to give a shit. I don't care how sexist it sounds but you're mine to protect and I'm gunna do just that."

Roxy had no choice when he put it like that. So she just nodded and gave him a quick kiss.

xxx xxx

Chibs had called everyone back down to the clubhouse for church and Juice had brought Roxy down with him, knowing this would be his chance to get even with Jax and he wanted him to apologise to Roxy.

All the guys made their way into the clubhouse while Roxy and Harley hung out in what would eventually be the barroom, Tara was at home with the boys, probably wanting to avoid whatever was going to happen today.

"Lotta work to be done still." Harley said as she looked around the barren room.

"Couple stripper poles and a pool table and the guys will be fine." She laughed. The room had no decor yet and the walls were plain white from the sealer on the walls. The bar had been delivered and installed and the dark redwood was a vibrant contrast to the stark shell of a room.

The girls continued making notes on what needed done as the guys had their meeting. Juice was sitting at the redwood table, the Chapel had been dismantled at Scoops last night after Juice had left the clubhouse with Roxy. This afternoon it had been set back up in the Church at the clubhouse. This room, too, was white but the boys had transferred all the posters and stuff and they were now littered around the floor, resting against the walls where they would later be hung.

"Alright," Chibs called the group to order, "we've sorted out club business, now onto personal business." He levelled Juice and Jax with looks from the president's chair. "You need to sort this shit once and for all."

"We did." Jax glared at Juice.

"Well last night it didn't seem like that." Chibs countered.

"He just needs to learn that what happens between my sister and I is between us."

"I don't give a fuck if she's your sister bro, you better check your attitude next time you talk to my Old Lady." Juice growled from the opposite side of the table.

Bobby put his hand on Juice's chest from his seat next to him as Jax abruptly stood up on the other side. "Oh yeah? What the fuck are you gunna do about it?" He challenged Juice.

Juice pushed away from Bobby and stood to walk round the table and stood toe to toe with Jax "I'm gunna take you to the fucking ring that's what I'm gunna do."

Jax shoved Juice with two hands to the chest and Tig and Quinn stepped up to separate them.

"Alright boys, the ring is where we sort this shit. Not at the table." Chibs slammed his hands on the table. "We take this outside and then it's done. You hear me?" Chibs demanded of the two.

Jax and Juice were locked in glaring at each other, neither mentioning the other tension around their fight, Tara's offer being something neither would out at this point in time.

"If he keeps his mouth shut about Roxy after this we'll be fine." Juice countered.

"Like I said, she's my sister ain't nothin' gunna change that."

"Yeah? Well you're doin a real shitty job of lookin after her. She's my Old Lady and I'm makin sure she doesn't have to go through any more shit for you or because of you." Juice pushed forward to get to the door, storming out ahead of his brothers. Roxy and Harley moved over from their makeshift crate seats and joined the group, Roxy catching up to Juice as he threw open the doors to the lot. He started pulling his rings off and passing them to her as they made their way over to one of the corners.

"Baby, you ok?" She asked with worry as he pulled his kutte and tshirt off before handing them to her.

Juice didn't look at her, instead focusing on Jax who was handing his shit to Bobby on the other side of the ring.

"No, but I will be." He jumped up into the ring as Jax did on the other side, Tig sidling up with Harley to watch over Roxy. Chibs barely got his instructions out before Juice started wailing on Jax.

Roxy held her breath as two men she cared deeply about tore strips off each other. She may be fighting with Jax right now but deep down he was still her brother and she cared about him, though in saying that she knew that in terms of the club, Jax deserved this for disrespecting Juice like that. Brothers' Old Ladies were off limits, their position within the club was sacred and they were supposed to be protected by the other brothers not torn apart like Jax had done to Roxy.

Jax managed to get some hits in on Juice but for the most part Juice had used his anger to dominate. Chibs and Happy ended up pulling him off Jax after he'd managed to pin him to the floor and rain punches on him so they stopped it before he took it too far. Quinn helped Jax to his feet and Chibs ordered the two brothers to embrace, but they hesitated for a moment before finally giving in after a heated glare from Chibs.

"Ok boys. That's this done. You pick up from here and move on."

"When he apologises to Roxy we are done." Juice snapped, still being held back by Tig and Hap.

Roxy watched with baited breath as Jax said something she couldn't hear causing Juice to break forward and attempt to land another punch on Jax. Happy pulled him back but Tig stepped in and landed one for him. She wondered what Jax had said to irk both men but chose to ignore it. She watched as Chibs sent them on their way and Juice jumped down from the ring, his muscles contracting and rippling as he landed.

He walked straight over to Roxy and pulled her in to a deep kiss, his tongue immediately dominating hers. Roxy was very aware of the people around them and it set her on edge being touched like this while there were others around, especially Tig and Happy who she knew had seen Lin's videos. So she pulled back as his hands travelled down her back. Juice looked at her with lust blown eyes, he wanted her and he was praying right now that she'd let him. He'd been patient every time but right now he just needed her, wanted her in every way, that was it, the adrenalin, the fight, his need to show she was his was driving him right now and he was finding it hard to switch off.

Juice was breathing heavily and Roxy knew what he wanted, and to be honest she did too. Juice had always been protective over her, possessive even as the guys in this life were. It wasn't necessarily a misogynistic thing as such, it was just a necessity in this environment when guys were always on the prowl. However these last two months he'd been more protective than ever, she'd seen it on holiday and she was seeing it now, and she can't help but say it did something for her.

"Baby..." Juice started as he looked down at her.

"I know... Just, come here." She tugged on his arm and started pulling him away towards the clubhouse before calling at the others behind them. "Need some water to clean him up. Be right back."

"Yeah you will!" Harley joked from behind them as Roxy rolled her eyes and pulled him through the doors into the empty clubhouse.

Roxy dragged Juice behind her into his dorm room, well the empty shell of his dorm room, and shut the door behind them. She pushed him against the door and moulded herself to his body as she pressed her lips against his. Within seconds Juice's hands were sliding over her, eventually pulling her top off over her shoulders. Roxy was working equally fast on his belt and shoved his pants and boxers to the floor before falling down to her knees in front of him. Juice was already pretty hard so it didn't take much for her to really get him going. Juice fisted his hands in her hair as she slid her tongue up and down his length, but it wasn't what he really wanted so he reached down and tugged her up to her feet and crashed his lips on to hers again.

"Floor or wall?" He gasped out as she continued to work him with her hand.

"Wall?" Roxy moaned.

Juice nodded and spun her round so her back was against the wall and worked her jeans and panties down her legs and helped her step out of them before sliding his fingers between her legs. Roxy gasped and bucked her hips forward at the contact and Juice smirked against her neck as he continued to kiss her. He moved his other hand up to her chest and pushed the cup of her bra aside to slowly tease her.

"Please J..."

"Please what?"

"I want it..."

"Want what?" Juice playfully nipped her earlobe as he brought both his hands up to cup her face as she trailed her hands down his sides. "Say it baby. Coz I can say I want you... You are mine after all, and I'm yours."

"Fine I want you, just do it, please!" She tugged at the short hair at the back of his head.

Juice lifted her up so she could wrap her legs around his waist and Roxy leaned back into the wall, holding on to him by the back of the neck. Juice positioned himself and slid into her, Roxy gasping at the sudden sensation and the new angle, having never done it in this position before. Roxy had briefly thought she'd feel scared but she grounded herself in Juice and the pleasure he was giving her, instead of the ghosts of pain.

Juice was moving hard, guided by his adrenalin from the fight and the almost primal urge to mark her as his. No one was allowed to fuck with her. He hissed when Roxy scratched his shoulders with her nails as she came undone and eventually he leaned against her, biting her neck slightly as he found his own release. After a moment he let Roxy slide her legs down and backed off slightly. He didn't let her go fully, though, and started running his fingertips down her arms.

"I love you, y'know that right?" Roxy nodded and clasped her hands behind his head again as his forehead rested down on hers. "I just want you to know that no one is gunna fuck with you and get away with it. Not some college fucktard down in San Diego, and not your brother. You've been hurt too many times on my watch-"

"Hey Juan Carlos, I've never been hurt on your watch, stop being so dramatic." Roxy smiled.

Juice huffed. "You know what I mean. I'm trying to tell you that I swear from this moment on I have your back like 150% more than I ever did before. I'd die before anyone hurts you again."

Roxy smiled and nuzzled his nose with hers. "Yeah, okay." She pulled back and looked up into his serious face. "Anyone ever tell you how cute you are Juice? Big, bad biker aside." She winked.

"Oh all the time baby." He smirked and looked for his jeans having kicked them away from him at some point, not minding Roxy had deflected the emotional conversation he was trying to have with her. She did it often by telling him to 'quit the sappy shit', but he knew she just did it when she was overwhelmed.

"Oh is that right? All your girlies tell you that?" She playfully threw his tshirt at his face.

"Didn't you hear? I've heard Harley talking, she's heard I'm a great lay apparently? Well hung?" He winked.

Roxy covered her face with her hands. "Oh my gosh. Tell me that's all you heard us talking about?"

"Oh there was some other stuff too but it was a loooong time ago, so I only remember the important bits."

"Could your ego get any bigger Mr. Ortiz?" Roxy slowly walked towards him and she pulled her tshirt down over her head to meet her jeans.

"Hmm, I dunno? You tell me. I feel like it's big enough already." He slid her hand suggestively down to his boxers.

"Whatever Ortiz. Lemme get you cleaned up and then we go, before the rumours start flying."

Roxy led him to the freshly outfitted bathroom and was pleased to find the water would run. The ensuite bathrooms were all finished and decorated in the same dark grays and shower suite. The dorm rooms were staying empty until each Son had decorated as they pleased, though Juice had been the one to put the order through for the beds and dressers so they all matched.

Roxy carefully cleaned the few cuts scattered over his face and knuckles, there was nothing she could do for the bruising aside from getting him some ice when they got home.

Juice watched her as she slowly washed off his hands with a rag and when she'd rinsed it out she looked up to face him.

"I do appreciate what you do for me Juan. But I think we need to bury this shit with Jax now. Hopefully one day he can take responsibility for his actions but for now we just have to be the bigger people. He gets a rise out of riling you up."

Juice stroked her hands with his thumbs. "Yeah, ok. Whatever you want babe. I just want you to feel safe here. With Jax being a jackass it just set me off."

"I know. C'mon, let's get back out there." Roxy pulled him up from his spot on the toilet and back out towards the lot. "Oh shit, I left your stuff with Harley by the way."

"That's ok, so long as I've got you." He pulled her back against his chest and kissed down her neck as they walked out into the lot.

Harley gave Roxy a smirk when she noticed the hickey displayed on her neck and the guys gave Juice equal shit when they saw the marks on the back of his shoulders from Roxy's nails as she gripped him.

"Just jealous neither of you are getting any action." Juice joked to Tig and Quinn.

Tig rolled his eyes but bit back his usual dirty comment, not wanting to push things with Roxy as he watched her joking with Harley and smiling occasionally at Juice.

"Where's Jax gone?" Roxy eventually asked.

"Bobby's makin sure he gets home to Tara and the boys." Chibs answered. "We ready to put this shit behind us?" Roxy nodded and nudged Juice who reluctantly agreed. "Good. I've had a chat to him about Roxy's place in the club, he does know that but he's still a bit out of it at the moment."

"Yeah I know Chibby. I'll go chat to him later tonight."

"Ok then. Well we got shit to do round here. Juicy Boy I suggest you take your lovely lass home and cool off. Tomorrow's a new day." He clapped Juice on the shoulder and he winced as Chibs' hand connected with a forming bruise that Roxy had also scratched at.

"Toughen up lover boy. Take that girl home for a quiet night. God knows she deserves it." Tig smiled as he pushed the two towards the bikes.

Juice grinned and buckled up Roxy's helmet before donning his own. He slung his leg over his bike and kicked it over before Roxy gracefully climbed on the back.

They slowly pulled out of the lot with Roxy pressing little kisses to Juice's back. Juice felt truly calm with her riding bitch, the closeness combined with the roar of the bike and promise of the open road made him appreciate everything he had.

As if sensing his thoughts, Roxy leant forward to whisper in his ear. "I love you Juicy."


	104. Chapter 104

**A/N: as usual glad you're enjoying! Back to the club stuff!**

The next two weeks passed relatively quietly. Juice was back doing club stuff and they'd been avoiding spending too much time with Jax. Tara and Roxy had spoken briefly about the whole surrogacy thing and Roxy had said they wanted to hold off on it for a while. It wasn't that Roxy would never be able to have babies, just with the scarring it would make it difficult to fall pregnant. Juice and Roxy had talked at length about it and her doctor had said in the past that if they tried IVF that they'd be able to control the outcome better and having a few embryos planted at once would ensure the chances of one implanting.

It was all a bit scary but Roxy didn't mind, Juice was freaking out slightly about the idea but they had the money there and he was willing to try anything. He wanted a family, always had, he wanted the chance to be a better father than his had been and he desperately wanted it all with Roxy. It made him wonder briefly about his own family. He'd never wanted to find his dad, that drop kick had left for the last time before Juice was even a toddler, not that he was even around really to begin with. But he did wonder what had ever happened to his Ma and sister, and this talk of family made him more curious. But he shoved it to the back of his mind, not wanting to dwell on those thoughts. Truth be told he was worried what he may find out. He'd always explained it away in his mind that they were better off without him. He imagined his sister married and settled down, not having to stress about her fuck up little brother, or his Ma living it up somewhere, clean and sober now she didn't have the stress of a troubled teenage boy. He didn't want to open that can of worms and ruin the idea in his head with the certain reality of the situation. The idea ramped up his anxiety like no tomorrow.

He needed his head in the game right now, the club had a quiet period recently, but now they had some loose ends to tie up in regards to getting out of guns. But right now he and Roxy were sitting on their back porch drinking coffee and enjoying a smoke to start the day.

"Heading down to TM?" Juice ventured. Now that Gemma was gone and things were open full steam again she was asked to take over managing the garage. Juice was keen for her to start and be around the club full time and it would give her a sense of purpose seeing as she'd had to quit her dream job. Joey had begged her to reconsider but Roxy was sticking to her guns.

"Yeah. Suppose I better get a start and relieve Dog of his burden. He hates managing that place."

"You and Dog are pretty close huh?" Juice exhaled a long stream of smoke.

"Yeah, known him since I was a little girl. Spent a lotta time down at the lot and when all the guys were out on runs and I had to hang with Ma he would always mess around with me. He has a boy not much older than me so he always knew how to keep me occupied."

Juice nodded, happy that even if they were out on runs that there would be someone around to look after her. He remembered the day the Lobos shot up the clubhouse and Dog had kept her covered. It reassured him.

Roxy jumped on the back of Juice's bike, after they finished their coffee and smokes. As always Juice relished the feeling of Roxy pushed up against him. She'd been stressed the last few days and had a bit of a setback. Her counsellor said it would happen from time to time and told her some mindfulness exercises to work on to keep her grounded. But needless to say too much touching had been off limits. So this closeness felt good.

Juice pulled his bike into his usual spot and let Roxy off before he flicked his kick stand down and swung his leg over.

"S'pose I should get in there to the shit storm huh?" She looked nervously at the garage.

Juice followed her gaze and noticed the bays were all busy with multiple mechanics and customers, most being male.

"You gunna be ok over there?" He grew concerned.

Roxy sighed. "Yeah, yeah of course."

"You'll be safe in there with them. Dog is there just tell him if you have any issues. I'm just gunna be in the club." He squeezed her hands and dropped a quick kiss to her forehead before ushering her towards the office.

Juice stayed by his bike and watched as Roxy nervously said hello to the guys before quickly running into the office and shutting the door. He caught Dog's eye from across the lot and they nodded before Juice turned and headed in to the clubhouse.

Things had slowly been decorated over the last couple of weeks. The barroom was now a dark gunmetal gray colour with some red and black pieces of decor around. The chapel had been painted a lighter shade of the gunmetal and had been fully decorated again with the club memorabilia. They had a new, larger safe in the back corner and much nicer plush leather seats.

Juice took his place next to Bobby and waited for Chibs to call the meeting to order.

"Is that Roxy back working at TM today?" Bobby asked.

"Yeah, don't know how she's gunna go though." Juice played with one of his rings, twisting it round his finger. "Not been having a good time recently. Last few nights have been pretty tough."

"Oh?"

Juice shrugged. "It'll sort itself out. She's just anxious about being back here full time around all the guys."

"She's gunna be ok though. None of those guys will let anyone fuck with her." Bobby reassured him.

"Oh I know that, she does too really. She said her mind plays tricks on her though. But we'll figure it out. She don't wanna stay stuck in the house forever."

Bobby nodded and Chibs called everyone's attention to him.

"So I think we all knew it wouldn't be long till shit came back to bite us on the arse. Tyler reached out, we all know there's been internal beef between black and then on top of that their beef with the Mayans and of course what's left of the Chinese. Tyler's been a good ally for us to have with Marks throwing his weight around and he needs a favour."

"What favour?" Jax questioned.

"We need to dig up the pastor." Chibs replied.

"Pastor?" Juice queried. The guys quickly filled him in on some of the finer details of what had happened while he was on the run. They'd killed a dirty pastor and a couple of his 'friends' and it turns out the pastor's wife needed to be found so they could get her to sign a deal for Marks so he'd back off the Niners and wouldn't find out that the MC had killed the pastor. It was all very complicated but Juice just nodded and agreed with whatever needed to be done.

Juice was to stay at TM while Chibs took Happy, Tig, Rat, and Jax out to dig up the pastor's body to see if they could find any personal information on him. Juice agreed, happy to hang around the clubhouse, finish installing bits and pieces and keep an eye over Roxy. He was currently finishing off the new security system but decided he needed a break.

Roxy had holed herself up in the office most of the time. Dog had come to check on her a few times and she was grateful to have him watch over her but the noise and joking from the garage kept her on edge.

It was even worse when new customers came in and she had to accompany them out into the lot to fill out the paperwork and check over the car.

This one was perfect... A young guy she'd seen around town but didn't recognise him as someone from her childhood. This meant he was new to town. Either way it didn't matter, she saw him checking her out and it made her skin crawl. He wasn't being creepy or anything but it still made her anxious.

Roxy busied herself with filling out his paperwork and answering his questions simply. The guy was currently leaning on his car while she finished filling out the paperwork and passed it over to him, breathing a sigh of relief when she noticed Juice coming up to them.

"Hey babe. Want lunch?" He slung an arm round her shoulder and pressed a kiss to her temple while the guy finished signing the paperwork.

"Yes please." She nodded against him.

The guy eyed them jealously but handed back the paperwork with a smile.

"Ok I'll give this and the keys to the guys and they should have the service done in a few hours. I'll give you a call when it's good to go." She took the keys and the guy said thanks before heading over to his friend who had come with him to take him home.

Juice watched him walk away before turning his attention back to Roxy. "You ok? He bothering you?"

"Yeah I'm fine. He wasn't doing anything. Just edgy today."

"Mmm ok. Want me to get you food?"

Roxy moaned in agreement. "I'm sooooo hungry."

"The usual?"

"Yes please."

Juice gave her another quick kiss and headed off to his bike to run to the diner.

When he got back Roxy was grateful for the sub sandwich, she was so hungry. She stopped work in the office and brought the cordless phone out to the picnic benches with her while they ate.

Unfortunately their peaceful lunch was interrupted with the return of the club. They all backed up into their spots and Tig hollered for Juice to come over. He got up, taking the last bit of his sub with him before dropping a quick kiss to Roxy's head and running off to the clubhouse. Roxy finished her sub and had a quick smoke before heading back in to the office.

"Need ya to see what you can get off these phones Juicy." Tig said as he handed him two dirty black phones.

"Where did you get these?" Juice asked as he studied the soil covered phones.

"Chigger Woods." Tig replied nonchalantly as he poured himself a drink.

"Oh what the fuck man." Juice dropped them on to the bar top.

Rat chuckled as did Chibs at the disgusted look on Juice's face.

"C'mon Juicy, work your magic." Chibs nudged him over to grab his laptop bag.

Juice set everything up and worked on seeing what he could recover from the surely damaged phones.

The rest of the guys milled around, drinking, smoking, and talking as Juice worked his magic as Chibs put it.

"Holy shit you guys gotta see this." Juice made the video full screen as the others crowded around.

"Is that..."

"Venus Van Damme." Finished Tig with wide eyes.

"Are you shitting me?" Jax said.

"Oh no, that happens later." Juice smirked. "Look Chibs I couldn't get the cell to work and this hasn't got any personal info on it. He just used it to record his uh, comings and goings. Beside Venus the only thing on here is the shit you guys did that day."

Chibs rubbed a hand through his hair. "Yeah ok. Juice find Venus." He decided.

"Oh I know where she is." Interjected Tig. "We stayed in touch." He added at his brothers' bewildered looks before leaving them to it, taking out his phone and heading outside to his bike.

The group watched him leave, Juice smirking as he remembered Tig's infatuation with the lovely Venus during their initial encounter.

"Should we be worried he stayed in touch?" Jax joked.

"Aye. But at least she's not Latina." Chibs clapped him on the shoulder and motioned for everyone to follow him out to the bikes.

xxx xxx

The guys followed Tig out to a housing estate not far out of Lodi and parked up while Tig pulled out his phone.

Venus arrived down in a few moments, she'd been expecting them as Tig had called earlier.

Juice explained the situation and showed her the footage. Venus chuckling at her own antics.

"Well I do love those boots." She commented in her southern drawl.

"Oh yeah, yeah, so do I." Tig retorted, but no one paid him attention aside from Venus who shot him a flirty smirk.

"Why are you looking for him?" She handed the phone back to Juice.

"Oh he and his family might be in danger." Chibs explained.

"Well, I'm not surprised." Venus said, hand over her heart. "That freaky little holy man liked to live close to the flame. God can only protect us so much." She looked at Chibs for a moment. "Why do you have his phone?"

Tig knew Venus and knew she'd be upset if she found out the truth so he cut in. "We need to find his family, baby." He pleaded. "Where did you meet him?"

"Oh different places." She brushed some hair back with a manicured nail. "At first he took me to this very unsavoury apartment in an area code beneath my station. I told him never again. I need a certain level of comfort to maintain my dignity. After that it was usually nice hotels, uh, a quiet lake house once."

"A lake house that he owned?" Chibs spoke.

"Well I assume so. There were pictures of family I'm assuming were his wife and children."

"You remember where?" Chibs asked.

"Outside Berkeley. Lake Anza I believe. I'm sure I have the address in my appointment book."

"We're gunna need that address." Chibs again.

Venus hesitated, unsure whether to give the bikers private information but Tig spoke up.

"Please?" He begged.

Venus relented. "I will help you because I am fond of you. Fond of you all." She looked around the group. "I feel like we are connected on a deeper vibration. Do you feel that?" The bikers all scrambled to agree without making fun of Venus. "Well, uh, I have a little lonesome dove waiting for me upstairs, but his abreaction is usually rather swift, so just give me five minutes, and then perhaps Alexander could come up and retrieve your address?"

Chibs looked to Tig and nodded, a small smirk playing on his lips. "Perfect."

"Gentlemen." Venus departed with a sashay and made her way back to her apartment.

Tig was too busy admiring Venus walking away to notice his brothers looks.

"Something we need to know here?" Jax queried.

"We're friends. You know? We got things in common." Tig retorted. Juice just smirked and shook his head as he let out a chuckle.

"I can think of one thing." Bobby smarted.

"Don't be disrespectful." Tig scolded. "I'm gunna head upstairs, I'm gunna get her to move it along. She tends to dilly dally." Tig turned on his heel and moved off to follow in Venus' footsteps.

"Dilly dally?" Rat piped up.

"Ok now I'm worried." Jax chuckled.

"Oh I'm sure someone is dillying someone's dally." Juice laughed.

"But who's dillying who? That's what I'm worried about." Jax laughed again.

"Aww leave Tigger alone, maybe he's found his soulmate." Chibs joked.

"Love at first sight. Remember the photoshoot day? He couldn't keep his eyes off her... him? Her?" Juice piped up.

"Fuck knows Juicy Boy, we'll leave that one to Tig shall we?" Chibs clapped him on the back.

xxx xxx

The guys all rode back to TM to gear up now they had the address. Roxy walked out of the office when they pulled up. Making her way over to Juice she noticed Tig in particularly high spirits.

"What's got your panties all a flutter?" She questioned him at the dreamy look on his face.

Juice sidled up to her and slung his arm round her shoulder. "It's not his panties fluttering that's for sure."

Tig smacked the back of Juice's head and kept walking, Juice dropping his arm from Roxy to rub the sore spot.

"At least you have this hair to cushion the blows now." Roxy smirked as she ran a hand up to scratch through his hair.

"Yeah."

"What's going on?" She questioned as the rest of the group made their way inside.

"Just club shit. I'll fill you in later." He gave her a quick kiss and followed the others leaving Roxy to head back to the office once again.

xxx xxx

The guys saddled up and rode out to the lake house, splitting up to sneak onto the property. Juice was with Bobby and Tig as they quietly broke in. They heard noise through the back room and slowly tried to make their way in but just as they approached the door some shot through it and caught Tig in the stomach and Juice in the arm.

"Fucking hell!" Chibs yelled and Juice dropped his gun to grasp at his bicep. "Tiggy!" Chibs crawled over to him but the rest ran through the door as they heard a car revving off.

Chibs had Juice stay with Tig while the others went out to grab their targets. Juice could hear some sort of commotion outside and a few minutes later the guys came in with the wife and a young man, both drenched.

Juice got Tig situated on the sofa as best he could with the buckshot in his arm but it was killing him.

"Juice call Tara, get her to the clubhouse." Chibs ordered.

Juice obliged and bit through the pain as he called a flustered Tara. Chibs helped Juice get Tig stable and they made their way out to the van.

"Can you drive Juicy?" Chibs asked.

"Yeah I can. I think."

"Ok. You two head back to the clubhouse. Rat will take one of your bikes back but send the guys up to pick up the other bike."

"Ok sure."

"Can you call Venus?" Tig pleaded.

Juice looked to Chibs who agreed and pulled out his phone, motioning for Juice to get going.

Juice started the van and steered it out the drive, cursing at the pain in his arm. Tig groaned the whole way back to Charming despite the bottle of vodka he clutched too. Juice just wished he had some too.

When he pulled up at the clubhouse Tara was there with a worried Roxy, Venus pulling in at the same time and quickly tottering over on her stilettos.

"Oh my god baby are you ok?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm ok." He grunted as Dog helped him get Tig out the van to carry him over to the clubhouse.

"Oh Alexander baby, are you ok?" Venus soothed.

"Yeah Angel." He whispered.

Roxy watched on in awe at the new arrival, no idea what to make of this woman Tig was calling Angel.

The guys got Tig situated on one of the new sofas, Roxy glad it was leather and wouldn't stain with blood. Tara set to work on Tig as Roxy peeled back the blood covered bandage from Juice's bicep.

"You need to roll up your sleeve babe." She stated.

"Can't. Too tight." Juice said through gritted teeth, there were smaller fragments embedded above the bigger one so instead he took off his kutte swiftly followed by his tshirt.

Roxy caught Venus and Tara both momentarily studying Juice and Roxy couldn't help but smirk, her mans toned torso rippling as he attempted to pull the shirt over his head.

She snapped out of her study when she heard Juice swear as he tried lifting his arm up and quickly helped him pull it over his head and down off his other arm.

"Give him some of the oxy from my bag." Tara nodded to the bag on the floor. "Just two pills." She added remembering Juice's last attempt at using the drug.

Roxy handed him the pills and grabbed him some water from behind the newly stocked bar to wash it down with, however when she returned he'd already washed it down with Tig's vodka.

"Juice." Roxy scolded as she handed him the water bottle.

Juice shrugged and laid his head back on the sofa, breathing deeply through the pain. Roxy sighed and settled in next to him and started stroking through his hair.

"Where are the boys?" She asked Tara to break the tension.

"Oh. Wendy has them." She relied as she concentrated on removing the fragments from Tig's abdomen. Venus kneeling on the floor at Tig's head stroking through his hair like Roxy did to Juice.

"How's that all going?"

"Still good. I'm super glad she decided to stay around after all this happened. She's been a great help."

Roxy nodded. Wendy had broken up with her girlfriend not long after Gemma attacked Tara and had agreed to stay around to help with the boys. For now she was happy to just be part of Abel's life. She agreed to waiting until he was older to tell him the truth. Roxy knew she was struggling with that concept but commended her for trying and being part of his life, even if it was just as Aunty Wendy.

They were interrupted by the return of the rest of the club. Roxy made to get up but Chibs said her and Venus could stay. Tara finished up with Tig and gave Venus some instructions as she started on Juice. The guys didn't make their way to the chapel, rather just helped themselves to drinks and crowded round Tig and Juice, wanting them to be up to speed.

"Goddamit!" Chibs cried out. "This is a shit storm."

"What happened?" Juice gritted out as Tara dug around for some buckshot. Roxy smoothed a kiss to his head but he shrugged her off. She remembered they were in front of the guys and pulled back a bit.

"Fucking AB idiots shot up Eglee and Cane after they failed us to the meet." Jax informed.

"I'll reach out to Tully tomorrow. Try to explain this." Jax offered to Chibs, having been the one to originally set this up. They'd stolen a shipment from the Triads while Roxy and Juice were on holiday. A master plan of Jax's from when he'd been president. The club had taken out Lin and his crew after everything went down, but as with any organisation there were always others there to fill the top spaces.

Roxy was surprised at them talking freely in front of her and this new Venus person. She'd never been privy to club info straight from the horse's mouth. It was usually second hand from Juice.

"Yeah well, if Eglee or Cane called that thing in, we'll all be able to talk to him. Face to face." Bobby piped up, seemingly annoyed that they'd gone along with Jax's plan. Despite Chibs being president he was still very much loyal to Jax. So when he'd suggested the revenge of taking down the shipment of heroin and the subsequent deals that came with it he'd been on board. At the time Chibs felt like he had to make things up to Roxy and if Jax's ideas worked he thought this would help.

"I talked to Lee. He's sending some guys from Tacoma down." Happy informed them. "We're gunna need help if this unravels."

Chibs nodded his agreement but Rat came in before they could discuss it more.

"Jarry's out there."

"How many with her?" Chibs demanded.

"She's alone. Said she wants to talk to you." Chibs nodded and left the room, the others following suit, leaving the girls alone with Juice and Tig.

Juice squeezed Roxy's hand with his left hand as Tara stitched up his right bicep, the oxy had kicked in by now and he was feeling a lot more relaxed.

Tara began explaining the aftercare to Roxy as Venus sat at Tig's side on the sofa.

"You should just go baby." Tig slurred to her.

"I swore an oath to the care and nurturing of a good friend." She stroked his cheek.

"Where did you come from?" He asked dazed.

"Well... I was born of man, but I believe my true Genesis came later as I was stirred by the gods of love and beauty and transformed into an angel. Who's sole purpose is to bring light to the shadows and a little bit of joy to all those lost souls who can no longer find it." She whispered to him before bending down and giving him a soft kiss on the cheek as Tig gazed dreamily at her.

Roxy and Tara shared a surprised look and made to leave them to it. Roxy helped Juice back to his room and Tara headed out to the lot to head home.

"So what the hell is all that about?" Roxy asked as soon as they got in the room. Juice had loaded his dorm up with some of his club stuff but it was still new and barren compared to its old incarnation.

"Well Venus is a friend of the club... A friend that Tig has taken quite a shine to. My guess is they're hooking up." Juice slumped onto the bed and pulled Roxy in to his side.

"What would the club think of that?" While Roxy had no issue with trans people she knew the club's views were archaic to put it nicely.

"Dunno to be honest. We all know Tig's... strange tastes but uh, this one takes the cake I guess. I don't got a problem with it though."

"Good. That man needs some happiness. And trust Tig to find it in the most unlikely place." She chuckled.

"I need some happiness to baby." Juice purred in her ear.

"I think I can help you out with that." Roxy smiled at him and caught his lips in a swift kiss.

Juice moaned as Roxy kissed up his jaw and he moved his non injured hand down to her side and slipped it up under her tshirt to paw at her breast but Roxy stopped and pulled back and Juice slumped his head back against the head board.

"Shit, I- I can't- I'm sorry." Roxy jumped off the bed and bolted to the door, panic surging in her chest and breath coming faster.

Juice figured he best let her go, he was in no state to chase after her right now. And also too frustrated, not because he had blue balls, but because she shouldn't feel unsafe around him. He'd been so understanding all this time but right now he needed her, not just physically but emotionally too. But he felt like it was one step forwards and then three back. She shouldn't feel that way around him, he was starting to feel like the bad guy, and it was grating on him when he needed her most.


	105. Chapter 105

**A/N: thanks as always for the reviews, follows, and favourites. I'm glad you're enjoying the direction and the complications of their relationship as it goes along. I have an ending in sight for us finally. May take us a good few more chapters to get there but it's coming. However fear not, I have some more ideas for another Juice/OC fic in the works so if you enjoy my writing it will come after. Then there's always the possibility for more Juice and Roxy if the inspiration takes me. Enjoy!**

Roxy ran down the hallway into the barroom where she stopped momentarily to catch her breath. But when she saw Tig and Venus look up to her she bolted past them into the lot.

The guys had taken Jarry into the TM office and Tara's car was gone so she ran over to the picnic table in the corner, sheltered between the boxing ring and the clubhouse wall. She sat on the table top and put her head between her knees to take deep breaths.

When she heard someone coming out the door she yelled over to them without looking up. "Juan I'm ok. Just gimme a sec."

"Unfortunately I am not the lovely Juan Carlos. Shame really, he is a fine specimen."

Roxy looked up as Venus who smiled as she walked over and sat demurely next to Roxy.

"Venus Van Damme." She held out her hand.

"I- uhm-" Roxy quickly tried wiping the tears away from her face.

"Roxanna Morrow. I know. Alexander asked me to come check on you. He cares a lot about you."

Roxy smiled a watery smile at Venus and nodded. "He's like a second dad to me."

"Lucky girl." Venus patted Roxy's hand. "So what has you all glum? Can't be that sweet boy, can it?"

Roxy shook her head. "No. He's, he's perfect but I-" she sobbed a little. "- some stuff happened to me just before Christmas. And I can't- and I wanna talk to my Ma because she'd understand but she's been excommunicated and it's kinda her fault it happened in the first place and now I'm stressed and it's coming back and I don't know what to do." She sobbed a bit more.

"Oh sweetheart." Venus pulled her in for a hug. "Gemma is your mama?" Roxy nodded. "I think I know what happened to you. At least I know some of what happened to Gemma." Roxy looked up somewhat shocked, panicked that yet someone else knew her pain. "Not anything specific doll. Just," she took a deep breath, "I'd recognise that pain anywhere baby."

Roxy looked down at her hands. "Juan is so understanding Venus. But I can see it in his eyes every time I pull away from him. He's getting tired of it. And I can't stop it. I can't stop feeling it when he touches me."

"I know that boy is gone on you. I've worked with him more than once, seen it in his eyes. He's not frustrated with you, just the situation."

They were silent for a moment. "I've told him he can, y'know, go elsewhere for a bit. But he refuses and I love him for that but I feel like I need to, like, compensate, or something. And I just can't."

"After it happened to me it took a long time for me to be comfortable around people again. Of course my situation was rather different and I, came into my own, after a while. That pain will stay with you a long time my darling. But I know that boy will help you through it. You just have to let him in to the emotional side of things as well. He'll understand."

"Maybe." Roxy looked up at Venus. "Are you hanging around?"

"As long as Alexander needs or wants me to." She smiled brightly.

"That would be nice."

Venus stood and offered her hand to Roxy who accepted and stood as well before Venus pulled her in for a hug. "Go talk to that hunk of caramel that's so sweet on you. I'll go back to tending to poor Alexander."

Roxy nodded and squeezed once again before following Venus inside.

"I'm going to make you some lovely tea Alexander. Just you relax." Venus dropped a kiss to his head before heading off to the kitchen.

"You ok doll?" Tig asked Roxy.

Roxy nodded slightly. "I think so. She knows just what to say doesn't she?"

"That she does baby girl." Tig stared dreamily after Venus.

"You should keep her around. God knows we need a womanly touch round here these days." Roxy smiled at Tig before heading back down the hallway to face Juice.

She stopped outside his door for a moment, working up the courage to head inside. When she did Juice was sitting against the headboard of his bed, his eyes snapping up to Roxy as she came in the room.

"I'm sorry J." She said as she moved to sit down next to him.

"It's ok baby." He sighed as he wrapped his good arm around her. "I just don't know what to do."

"Me either. I just... sometimes when I'm with you I can't help it. I just get flashes of things and it freaks me out. I try so hard but sometimes they break through and it kills me."

"I don't want you to feel like that when you're with me." He whispered as he pressed a kiss to her temple.

"I know. I think with all the stress right now of me working, you back to club stuff, everything with trying for a baby, it's just making it difficult."

Juice nodded, he knew the added pressure wouldn't help her, but he couldn't help but be frustrated at the situation. And angry. Angry that everything that those guys did made it hard for them to be together. He knew what she was thinking when he touched her and that just made him want to touch her more. As bad as it sounded he wanted to show those guys that she was his. But it couldn't work like that. And that was what killed him.

xxx xxx

The guys had stayed at the clubhouse that night but Roxy was more distant than ever with Juice. She knew he was angry and frustrated, but she was misreading that as being directed at her and it killed her. She'd brought up using their tab at Diosa once again but that just seemed to make Juice more angry so she dropped it and eventually fell into a fitful sleep.

Juice, the rest of the club and the Grim Bastards were sitting in TM in one of the bays and he spotted Roxy making her way over to one of the picnic benches near the clubhouse with a coffee and watched as she lit up a smoke. She was hunched over and looked tired. Juice hated seeing her like that, hated knowing that she couldn't sleep and couldn't seek comfort in him. The last thing he wanted to do was hit up Diosa but she just kept reminding him of it. He didn't see it making much difference and was pissed that she'd even suggest he cheat on her.

He was pulled from his study by Bobby clapping him on the back. "You ok brother?"

Juice nodded. "Yeah, just peachy."

Bobby followed Juice's gaze over to Roxy and decided to speak again. "She'll be ok. You both will. This shit'll pass just like everything else."

"Maybe." Juice had had enough of people telling him things would pass so he shrugged it off and stomped out his smoke as they watched Tyler roll into the lot.

Chibs beckoned them over and Juice leant against a toolbox as Chibs and Tyler began speaking.

"Marks knows all the shit that's gone down with the Chinese. Knows it was the MC, he's setting up to cut you out." The guys had kept the Tara retaliation quiet seeing as Marks was so against it.

"And by cut us out?" Chibs asked.

"He's gonna kill all you white boys."

"Gonna have to let him know that's not part of our plan." Chibs said.

"Yeah I'm gon let you deliver that message." Tyler sat back on the raggedy leather sofa.

"So what's his play?" Asked Bobby.

"On the streets he's gonna take out your support. The Bastards."

"Shit." Commented TO. That must have been why Tyler had told them to come to this meet.

"Yeah, he's gonna use the East Dub." Tyler continued.

"And why not you?" Chibs questioned.

"My guess is he wants to use us to take you on. And if that happens, brother, we better know which way to jump."

Chibs, Tyler, and Bobby continued to work things out with Tyler but Juice wasn't paying attention. He figured Roxy was crying, she was playing with her phone from what he could see but every now and again she'd wipe her face.

He sighed and looked up when Tig slapped his shoulder and gestured to the room. Juice shook himself out of it and watched as Chibs and Jax spoke to TO as tyler and his crew left the lot.

"What's all that about?" He asked Tig.

"Seeing if the Bastards wanna patch over." Tog said nonchalantly.

"Huh. Big step in integration there." Juice mumbled.

"Oh yeah, forgot you were half black." Tig smirked. "Might help for you to have some reeeal brothas round the table with you."

"Fuck off Tig." Juice chuckled.

The guys kept busy most of the day. Chibs, Jax, and Bobby made frequent trips out but for the most part everyone was at the club making themselves useful. They were wanting to have a welcome back party at the weekend but still a lot of work needed doing. Juice was kind of annoyed that Jax was in on all this stuff but figured it was most likely due to him being the mastermind that got them into this shit with Marks in the first place. And if Marks really did come after them and put Roxy or any of the others in danger he'd be furious.

At the moment Roxy was taking stock of the bar and going through some food and drink orders with Chucky for the party.

Juice came up beside her and gave her a smile before wrapping his arms around her. She did relax into him after a moment and he pressed a quick kiss to her cheek.

Chibs and Jax arrived back then and beckoned them all to their bikes. The Bastards rode with them but stayed out on the main road while the Sons pulled in to a timber yard to meet with the AB.

"Well, well, well, didn't bring a police escort this time?" The head of the crew, Leland, mocked.

"Just us bad guys." Tig snarked back.

"We had nothing to do with the sheriffs." Jax stated. "Of course, you gunned them down, so now they're everyone's problem."

"We hear the bitch lived." One of the AB said.

"Yeah unfortunately." Chibs stated sarcastically. "But she's in critical and not talking."

"And if she does..."

"If she does then we'll take care of her." Chibs said cooly as he put his sunglasses in his top pocket. Juice admired him then, it was the first time he'd seen Chibs step up as president, menacing and calm.

But Jax had to run this business. "You talk to Tully?"

"Yeah, how the hell did the chinks steal your heroin?" Leland again.

"Uh uh. Technically it was their heroin so they just stole it back." Tig couldn't help but get smart with the guys and Juice chuckled, earning him a glare from the AB guys.

"Yeah. And now it belongs to the Sanwa PD." Bobby added.

"Look we want to make this right, man." Jax took over again, Chibs standing stoically at his side. "We can sell you guns, as many as you want."

Juice froze thinking they were getting out of guns.

"Nah... See I deal drugs. Not gats. The niggers and wetbacks got a choke hold on heroin. You promised us two keys." Juice stiffened at Leland's wetback slur, especially when one of Leland's men shot him a glare.

"That H fell into our laps and we did Tully a solid by sending it his way." Bobby informed him.

"Yeah and he's already made arrangements based on that solid." Leland argued as the glaring sidekick answered his phone.

"What? Credit in Stockton?" Jax asked.

"Yeah." Leland was interrupted by his sidekick.

"That was Danny. He's on his way in. Said there's a pack of coons on Harley's sitting at the turnoff."

The guys chuckled.

"What the hell is that?" Leland asked.

"They're with us." Chibs responded.

"Maybe you're planning a little payback ambush?" Leland snarked.

"Or maybe I'm just a white guy who's not living in 1956." Chibs responded.

Leland spat at Chibs' feet, and to his credit Chibs didn't take the bait.

"I'm gunna talk to Tully." Jax moved off from the group as Leland walked away.

"I hate these Nazi pigs." Chibs laughed as he turned back to the guys.

"You're telling me brother." Juice agreed, eyeing the remaining AB members, remembering all too well what went down with Roxy and Gemma back when Weston was around.

But while Chibs' back was turned one of the AB charged him and threw him to the floor. Juice was closest and got in first, booting the guy in the face and sending him flying backwards into the dirt.

"Fucking spic scum!" The others shouted and then it was on for young and old.

The scuffle lasted only a minute before Leland pulled a shotgun from his truck and fired it into the air to break up the fight. Of course the Sons immediately drew back and pulled out their own weapons. Entirely outnumbering the AB.

"C'mon now, that ain't necessary." Jax joked. "Just a friendly little fight."

Chibs motioned for the group to lower their weapons and the AB slowly followed suit. Of course Jax smarted off and so everyone ditched the guns and started fighting again.

Juice got quite a few hits in on his guy but was completely taken out when the guy punched his right arm where the buckshot had been. The blinding pain caught him off guard and dropped like a sack of potatoes.

Luckily they called it off before it went too far and the Sons left to go and sort this shitstorm out.

xxx xxx

Roxy took a quick look at his arm when he got back to the clubhouse. Tara told him to take some more oxy after she gave him some antibiotics but he didn't want to take them. When Jax and Chibs got back from meeting Tully they were meeting up with the Bastards to flush out the East Dub crew.

With his bandaged, yet throbbing, arm, Juice managed to ride to Stockton and help the Bastards take down the East Dub. It was pretty brutal, they just mowed them down, the guys didn't have a chance. Usually that sort of mindless killing would have sent Juice into a spiral of anxiety, thus triggering his OCD. But this time, he didn't care.

That scared him, it was the first time he'd killed since Lin and it was as if a switch had been flipped. Killing Lin was obvious, the shit he had done to Roxy was ridiculous and evil so he had no issue getting rid of him. But he was worried now a switch had been flipped for good.

Chibs clapped him on the back as they made their way back to their bikes to meet with the AB again. They'd just loaded up the bodies of the East Dub into the back of their van and it left Juice in a surprisingly calm mood.

It was dusk as they rolled up to the AB meet and Juice was tired. But he sucked it up, forcing himself to be on his guard as they dealt with these pricks.

Chibs offered the sample to Leland. "I ain't touching nothing that touched the hands of a nigger lover."

Chibs snatched it back and motioned for them to follow him.

"This is so you know we can be trusted." Chibs said as Quinn opened the van.

"You kill all them?"

"Aye. Just for you." Chibs smirked at their ability to kill two birds with one stone on this task.

They studied the van for a moment.

"Who are they?" Leland broke the silence.

"Really? Does it matter? They were black, now they're dead." Bobby sounded annoyed.

"You want em? Target practice?" Jax smarted off.

"Nah. We didn't ask you to go all Newtown on em. That's your problem to clean up. Gimme the H." Leland demanded.

Chibs happily handed it over for Leland to taste. He seemed happy with it and decided to give Tully the go ahead.

"I think we scared em." Tig said as they loaded up. The guys all shared a laugh. "We're running out of room at Chigger Woods." He informed Chibs.

"They're not going to Chigger Woods." Jax responded.

Juice breathed a deep sigh as he sat on his bike. He respected Chibs, greatly, but he was allowing Jax to run rampant on this. He knew Jax started it but if he was allowed to finish it too they could all be in for a rough ride.

xxx xxx

Juice had been sent to escort Quinn and Tig to dump the East Dub corpses at the Pope development. He had a baaaaad feeling about pissing off Marks like this. But for some reason Chibs agreed with Jax's shitty plan.

He had worked himself up thinking too much about Roxy and was giving himself anxiety worrying about his lack of anxiety over the killing today. And now to top it all off he knew they were starting a war with Marks that they could not end.

He messaged Roxy and found out she was at home and Harley was staying there while Happy went out on an errand for the club.

He didn't want to go back and face those two right now so he told Tig and Quinn he was going for a ride and messaged Roxy he'd be back in a bit. With a promise to the guys that'd he'd be careful he found himself driving towards Diosa.

Roxy had said he could 'get some relief' elsewhere. But he didn't want that kind of relief. He didn't want to have sex with someone else but he needed to feel wanted and touched. So when he got to Diosa he picked a girl, who looked enough like Roxy to make him feel good, though she was too skinny and plastic to give it real justice. He followed the girl back to a room and told her he just wanted a massage. She gave him the spiel about undressing and covering up with a towel while she waited outside. It reminded him of the couples massage he had with Roxy and he groaned remembering that day. It seemed like ages ago now, especially seeing as they hadn't really been together over the last two weeks. It just made him crave the contact more. But a massage to relieve tension would do for now. It would just be nice to have a woman's hands on him again and know that she wanted him. Unlike with Roxy where he always second guessed himself and felt like she hated his hands on her.

The girl he had chosen, Brandi, came back in after a soft knock on the door, finding Juice face down on table, towel covering his ass. She lit some candles and started some soft music in the background as she set about rubbing him down. Juice could smell her perfume, sickly sweet in the air and wished it were Roxy's hands gliding down his back. He could see Brandi's stilettoed feet beneath him as she worked on his shoulders but got lost in the feel of the touch. She was careful to avoid the bandage on his right arm but her delicate fingers applied just the right amount of pressure to relax his tensed muscles.

Just as he was about to doze off Brandi had him turn over to his back. She held the towel up so he could turn round and didn't miss her checking him out. Juice settled himself back on the table and Brandi covered him appropriately with the towel once more. He hadn't signalled to her that he wanted anything else so she kept it professional, not wanting to mess with a Son.

Juice couldn't help but check her out as she rubbed down his chest and shoulders, the girls, even if they were simply massaging, wore lingerie or skimpy clothing. Brandi's outfit of choice was a dusky red negligee, the cups of the floaty outfit were tight to her chest, lifting her ample bosom. Every time she bent over him to push down he copped an eyeful of her cleavage. It wasn't long before he felt himself getting hard under her ministrations and by the time she had worked her way towards his abdomen he was sporting a rather large tent in the towel. Brandi gently stroked down his lower stomach, running her fingertips along the top of the towel as if asking for permission.

Juice nodded slightly and was flooded with relief as Brandi's delicate hands pushed the towel down and her slicked up fingers grasped at his now, rock hard, length.

Juice lay back, head swimming, as Brandi's hands slid up and down his cock, alternating short and hard strokes with long and slow ones. She talked dirty to him the whole time, saying how much she wanted him, how big he was, how hot he was and it caused him to push up into her hands a couple of times. He knew she was getting paid to say it but at the same time he'd seen her check him out so he knew it was perhaps true on some level. And that made him feel good.

He watched Brandi as she slowly worked him, she was making sure it was real good for him and after a moment she met his gaze. She licked her lips once and began lowering her head towards her hands but Juice whispered 'no' and she snapped back up continuing to work him, hands only. He knew Roxy had been the one to suggest Diosa but it just didn't feel right to him to actually fuck someone else. But this just felt good. It was the release he needed after today to be able to go home and be there for Roxy on the level she needed him to be.

Brandi could tell he was close and began slipping her hand in a quick and expert fashion with one hand as she used the other to drape the towel over his stomach. She whispered something particularly filthy to him which sent him over the edge as he clenched his hands and came in a gush on the towel.

Brandi stroked him delicately through the last couple of spasms before quietly wiping him off. She dumped the towel in a laundry bin in the corner of the room before washing her hands quickly in the sink.

"I'll give you some privacy to re dress and I'll wait for you in the lounge." She gave him a flirty smile and left the room.

Juice felt so much more relaxed in the afterglow and took his time getting dressed. He settled with the girls at the front, who put it on the Sons tab, before generously tipping Brandi. She propositioned him for future needs but he insisted he'd be ok.

Juice sat on his bike in the dimly lit car park and sparked up a joint. He thought over everything that happened today and the decision he'd just made. He knew he'd need to talk to Roxy about it at some point but for now he was content in just feeling taken care of. He'd never begrudge Roxy the time she needed to heal from this. But given his current state of affairs he felt like he'd be in a better position to look after her if he'd been able to just have this release tonight. And it wasn't about the sex, no, just the touching and intimacy that had gone from them in a few short days.

They'd spent all this time building up this new level of intimacy in their relationship and even that was gone now.

Juice just needed to get his head straight. That way he could keep Roxy's on straight. Couldn't he?


	106. Chapter 106

**A/N: thanks again to all my regular reviewers! I'd love to hear what other people's thoughts are too, keeps me going to know that people are enjoying the story or if they have suggestions! Please let me know if you have any ideas or critiques.**

Juice pulled up at the house a little after 10pm and parked up. Harley's car was still in the driveway but Happy's bike was also there.

Juice let himself in and gave quick hello's to everyone, dropping a soft kiss on Roxy's forehead, before heading to the kitchen to grab a beer.

Happy followed him through to find out what had been happening.

"You at Chigger Woods this whole time?" He asked around his ever present toothpick.

"Nah, went for a ride after. Clear my head. Sorry for you havin to stay." Juice said after a mouthful of beer.

"Nah it's all good."

While the guys discussed what went down that day Roxy nudged Harley.

"You see that?" She whispered to her friend.

"No. What?" Harley asked.

"That. He's so... standoffish? I dunno. He's pissed at me Harley."

Harley took pity on her friend. "No. He's not pissed at you. I know you feel like that in your head babe but it's not what's going on. He's probably just frustrated at the situation and that he can't do anything about it. Talk to him."

Roxy sighed. "I'll try."

"Hey we gotta go lady." Happy and Juice came back through from the kitchen.

"Ok killa." Harley smirked at him before turning back to Roxy. "I'll see you tomorrow." She gave Roxy a hug before they both stood for Roxy to see them off.

"Thanks for hanging around guys."

"Any time." Was Happy's only response before going.

Roxy locked the door behind them and Juice smiled tightly as Roxy turned to him.

"I'm gunna head for a shower. Wash the road off me." Wash the Diosa off him he thought. He turned and made his way to their room.

Roxy just nodded and picked up the empty beer bottles from her, Harley and Happy. Harley couldn't say that this behaviour wasn't standoffish. She sighed and made her way to the bedroom and slowly got ready for bed.

Slipping under the blankets she wondered what to do. How to make this all better. Eventually the water turned off and a few minutes later Juice appeared in his boxers. He didn't look at Roxy as he tidied away his things and eventually slid in beside her.

"You ok?" She ventured.

"Yeah baby. I'm good." Juice swallowed and wrapped his arm around her.

xxx xxx

Juice had left early, 'club business', leaving Roxy to her own devices. However by mid morning she'd cleaned the house to perfection and even started on her car. Everything was driving her mad.

So when Harley called to ask her to come to Diosa and help her and Lyla go through the RedWoody books she enthusiastically agreed.

She met them over at Diosa where Lyla had been working for the boys. Harley had taken the lead at RedWoody while the boys had Lyla whipping Diosa into shape in Nero's absence. They were trying to go over profits and figure out which girls brought in the most money, capitalise on their successes. Some of the Diosa girls had expressed interest in the higher paying porn gigs so this was a good way of finding out who was popular among their clients.

Roxy brought lunch with her and the girls happily tucked into the burgers and fries as Lyla finished setting the books out on the table.

"So this is the plan," Lyla started around a mouthful of fries, "Roxy? Me and you are gunna go over the Diosa bookings see who comes up as favourites. Harley will bring up their profiles and we'll match em to our most popular RedWoody shoots. See how they compare. Then we'll figure out who was keen to make the switch and see if they'd be a good fit. Sound good?"

"Sounds good." Harley and Roxy answered in unison. And for the first time in a while Roxy get useful and happy being surrounded by friends.

xxx xxx

The pit of unease in Juice's stomach had tripled over night. He felt sick about Diosa after saying to Roxy hundreds of times he didn't need to go there, but that thought was twisted with his feelings for Roxy right now. She didn't want him. And he needed to be wanted. Then on top of that the club turmoil was getting to him. Jax was too involved and the last time that happened Juice had ended up with a target on his back.

They'd spent all morning figuring out the best place to re bury the Pastor. A place that would piss off Marks beyond belief. Pope Industries' newest build site.

See when they'd killed Lin, Marks saw it as a brutal retaliation for Tara. He didn't know about Roxy and Lin's little stunt. So when he'd found out he lost his mind. He'd specifically warned Jax not to kill Lin. Marks and Lin had ongoing business and naturally Marks was pissed at the loss of business. And loss of control.

Now the Sons had control, they had leverage. A dead business partner in the form of a well rotting corpse of a Pastor. The Pastor they were ready to bury in an undisclosed location to use as leverage on Marks.

As Chibs filled them in on the details, frequently deferring to Jax for further explanation, Juice couldn't help but let his mind wander to Roxy. That and how he was supposed to help her through this whole thing we he himself was slowly coming apart at the seams.

He'd been in a dark place while in hiding, a dark place he'd pulled himself from to find Roxy and be there for her as needed. But the pressure of everything was getting to him and the darkness was starting to pull him back down. The anxiety, fear, frustration all had him set on edge which pushed his compulsions to the surface which in turn set his anxiety off more. He'd tried taken a few Xanax but they didn't help. He knew you had to take them for a while to really notice the difference but he didn't have the time or wherewithal to follow through on a treatment plan so weed and booze were his current crutches of choice.

"This is gunna be a dangerous time brothers." Chibs' serious tone caught his attention and he snapped his attention to the Scot. "This shit with Marks is going to be dangerous for us, and our families. The clubhouse party would be a target right now. So we are going to have to postpone. Immediate family members and Old Ladies will be kept there, semi lockdown, for the next few days as a way of keeping tabs." Chibs offered apologetic looks to the men surrounding him.

"But we do have the Mayans and Niners backing us, and those are important relationships." Bobby tried reassuring the group.

"Aye, we'll come through this lads. And just remember, this was all necessary." He surveyed the group stopping longer in Juice's gaze than the others' before turning away from him. "It may have been under false information that we lashed out at the Triads. But we never went after their family, their women, and the shit they did to Roxy? Their quick ends were too easy on them. This," he gestured as if to their current plan, "is necessary. It is justified. We had to take out Lin. And if August Marks isn't happy then tough shit."

xxx xxx

"So did you and Juice talk last night?" Harley questioned.

"Not really." Roxy answered monotonously.

"You need to." Harley quirked a brow.

"What's happening?" Lyla queried.

"She just thinks-" Harley started but Roxy cut her off.

"I just think nothing." She shot a glare at her best friend. "I just know," she emphasised the word, "that he is getting frustrated, and angry, with me."

Lyla sighed, frowning slightly. "Oh baby, I'm sure he's not annoyed at you."

Roxy felt like she was having the same conversation over and over again and refused to listen to it another time.

"I don't want to talk about this again." She shot a warning glare at Harley. She loved her best friend but sometimes she didn't know when to leave sensitive subject matter be.

Lyla gave a hum of disapproval but continued to look over a book. Scanning the lines on the page she let out a gasp before she had a chance to cover it. She tried shutting the book but Harley was too quick.

"What is it?" She asked at Lyla's horrified expression.

"Nothing. Nothing."

"No give it here." Harley grabbed the file with a smirk on her face thinking it would be funny or incriminating to one of the guys. But she let out a frustrated groan as she saw Juice's name down against Brandi's on last night's appointment book, his name only listed as he'd used the SAMCRO tab. Moron, she thought to herself.

Roxy's interest was piqued now and before Harley could shut the book Roxy had leaned over the table, scanning the page and seeing exactly what the others had seen.

Juice.

xxx xxx

Roxy was livid seeing his name there next to some hooker called Brandi. What a stupid fucking name. Of course his 'services' were charged to the SOA tab. Roxy scoffed at the $250 charge. Cheap slut. She thought to herself.

She was sitting outside the back of Diosa smoking a joint from Harley's purse, no longer able to stay inside the building after seeing Juice's betrayal in black and white.

"You don't know what actually happened babe. It might have been one of the others using his name." Harley offered as she plopped down next to her with some tequila.

Roxy rolled her eyes, taking a swig before passing the bottle back. "You know that's a lie. He was late in last night, acting weird, barely touched me in bed. I know it. Same shit with Crystal." She huffed and stomped on the roach of her joint. "Thing is I told him he could do it so why am I surprised?"

"He did say he wasn't going to come. I get why you're upset." Harley rubbed her arm. "You guys need to talk about this Roxy."

"Nothin left to talk about. I obviously can't be what he needs right now. And I need to get my head straight. Need to be away from him for a while."

Before Harley could argue Happy and Rat bustle through the back door.

"Hey we need you to come to the cabin." Happy's gravely voice demanded after quickly greeting Harley.

Roxy stood up and brushed herself down. "Nah I'm good Hap. Got somewhere else I needa be."

"It's not really a request." He shifted uncomfortably under Harley's stern gaze at his demand.

"I don't really give a shit." Roxy muttered as she stormed past them. Happy glared at her back as she walked away while Harley slid her arm through his.

"Give her a sec." She asked.

"She remind anyone else of Gemma when she has an attitude?" Rat asked as he watched her storm inside.

Harley let out a soft chuckle and followed after Roxy.

xxx xxx

Juice had spent the day running errands for the club, researching shit on some pimp called Greensleeves that Chibs and Jax needed to take out. Turns out he had some shit on the dead Pastor that would stuff up their plan.

Juice found the address and sent it through to Chibs so they could 'handle it'. Before he could figure out what else to do with his day he was called over by Tig to join him, Bobby, and Quinn in staging the Pastor's burial.

"C'mon, little Quinny needs a hand digging." Tig threw a shovel at Juice.

"Alright then, you help too smartass." He smarted back as Quinn rolled his eyes and made a start.

"Only two shovels." Tig shrugged. "We'll keep an eye on him." Juice gestured to the bagged Pastor.

"I'm sure you will." Juice muttered to Bobby's glee.

"What was that?" Tig smarted back.

"Nothin." Juice threw a shovel full of sand a bit close to Tig's feet.

Before long Juice was sweating up a storm and decided to take his shirt off and chucked it alongside his kutte.

Tig's wolf whistle drew another chuckle from Bobby and earned him the bird over Juice's shoulder.

"Just jealous you don't look like this Tiggy." Juice smirked, proud of his well defined body, remembering Brandi's eyes last night as she surveyed him.

He was brought from his memories as Quinn started retching after cutting through the plastic sheeting that the Paator was bagged in. They needed a photo with his face on display and when Juice caught a whiff of the stench that rolled through the trench they'd dug he heaved himself.

"Amateurs." Tig shook his head before taking the photo. "Alright, fill it in."

Juice grumbled about Tig being a lazy ass before his phone started buzzing.

"Hello?"

"Juice. Meet us at the cabin. Chibs needs Roxy to help with the Pastor's wife and she's having a shit fit." Happy's grumbly voice rolled through the phone line and before Juice could give out anything more than a short 'OK' Happy had hung up.

Juice tossed the shovel to Tig and grabbed his tshirt and kutte.

"Sorry ladies but I'm needed at the cabin." He shoved his tshirt on and shrugged his kutte up over his shoulders. "Don't hurt yourself old man." He called to Tig as he retreated to his bike.

xxx xxx

"What's the matter with you?" Rat questioned as Roxy huffed once again at the indignity of being shoved bodily into the van by Happy.

"You assholes." She responded before looking out the window again. It was an hour up to the cabin and in Roxy's bad mood she decided to make it as annoying as possible for them. "This fucking club is what's the matter. Demanding shit off me." She grumbled under her breath.

Happy rolled his eyes, not one for tantrums and emotional bitches. That's why he liked Harley. She was straight to the point, no muss, no fuss. She didn't guilt him, or try play him, cry at him. Just was there when he needed and that was that. He'd started thinking that was what he needed in an Old Lady, and maybe, only just maybe, he might take Harley as his. But then shit like this put him off. What they had right now was much easier.

He couldn't sympathise with Roxy, he knew rape was horrible but he just couldn't comprehend the damage it had done to her so he was sick of her attitude. He'd heard Harley bang on about stuff to do with Roxy and Juice's relationship but he couldn't give a shit about his brothers' love lives so he tuned it out. All he knew was he couldn't wait to hand Roxy over to her Old Man when they got up there. Then she'd be his problem.

When they arrived at the clubhouse Montez and Rat showed her why she was there and she took in the sight of the woman and her adult son in front of her in the bedroom before moving back into the living room.

"What are we doing here?" She questioned Montez.

"Detoxing." He answered.

"And why does that involve me?" She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Chibs figured with your counselling shit you might be able to help." Rat offered.

Roxy scoffed. "Barely. You guys do realise Wendy is a qualified addiction counsellor, right? Why not get her up here?"

"She's recovering still." Rat stated.

Roxy remembered that yes Wendy had relapsed recently. "Fair enough." She sighed and slumped down on to the old worn out sofa and let her head fall down into her hands.

She racked her brain trying to think of how to detox someone and came up with a few things she remembered from class, maybe calling Wendy would help. Just for some pointers.

Roxy stood to go back to the bedroom where Loutreesha was but stopped when she heard the bike pulling down the gravel and stopping in front of the cabin. Happy signalled for her to go ahead and she figured it must have been Chibs or someone.

After a while speaking to Loutreesha and her son she came up with a bit of a plan in her head. She knew what drugs and how much she'd taken so she excused herself to go to the other bedroom where she could do a bit of research on her phone and maybe call Wendy. She'd never seen someone go through immediate withdrawals before. Most of her clients had been well past that stage when she worked with them so it was more about conquering triggers than dealing with sweats, headaches, and vomiting.

After a while there was a knock on the door and assuming it was Happy or Rat she hollered for them to come In, not looking up from her phone.

"Hey babe, how you doing?" Juice asked as he sat next to her on the bed. Roxy glared up at him on hearing his voice and Juice recoiled slightly at the intensity of her gaze. "What?"

"What? Is that it? Nothing you want to tel me?" She asked calmly.

"No?" He said confused.

"Whatever." She moved to get off the bed but Juice's hand shot out and clamped on to her arm to stop her from going.

"What happened?" He asked, confusion covering his features.

"You tell me? What did happen at Diosa?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Uh, I can explain."

"No. You can't." She successfully stood up and shoved her phone in her pocket before moving towards the door.

Juice was all the more confused by her cool and calm demeanour.

"Roxy! Wait!" He rushed forward. "You said-"

Her glare turned icy as she levelled it at him and if looks could kill he'd have been dead standing. She cut him off before he could continue. "-oh I know what I said. You also said you didn't want to. I believe you said I was the only one you wanted, you'd be there for me through this, you could wait, the ring on my finger meant I was the only one for you. All that shit. I mean you think I'd been violated enough as a person without you lying to me too." She turned on her heel and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

Juice snapped out of it pretty quickly and almost ripped the door off its hinges in his attempt to run after her, catching up to her in the living room where Happy and Rat were chilling with beers.

Juice stomped forward and grabbed her arm again earning a slap from her when she turned around.

"Would you fucking listen to me!" He bellowed.

Happy and Rat straightened up at the scene in front of them, it catching them off guard. Rat made a move like he was going to break it up but Happy shook his head minutely. You didn't get involved with a brother sorting out his Old Lady.

"No you listen to me!" She snapped back. "Just stay away from me." She wrenched her arm out of his grasp and pushed forwards to the door, stopping before exiting and turning back to look at him. "This feels worse than anything they did to me." And with that she slammed the door and took off down the steps.

Juice stood stunned for a moment, his heart beating wildly in his chest. His mind was racing with everything that just happened, she didn't know what went down, she didn't know the club was in dangerous territory right now, she didn't know why he did what he did, and now she was gone. He'd fucked it up well and truly. He looked at his brothers quickly as he searched for another exit out of the building and before they could say anything he ran out the back door and down the steps into the trees.

Happy glanced at Rat, who had no idea what just happened. "Wait here." He ordered before standing and taking off after Roxy as her steps crunched on the gravel signalling her departure from the cabin.

Rat simply nodded and turned to watch out the kitchen window as Juice ran through the trees out of his sight.

Juice could feel his lungs burning as he ran, his legs were like jelly and his mind raced almost as fast as his feet hit the dirt. He knew he had to stop before he passed out so he caught himself on a tree and slid down it as the panic attack took over.

As his heart felt like it would explode and his lungs burned all he could think of was fucking things up for the last time. He was so lost in all this he didn't know what to do. Didn't know what to do except fuck things up, as always, his mind added. He'd disrespected Roxy one too many times, disrespected their son's memory once again and he felt like shit. He couldn't help but cry, and not just shed a few tears, he properly broke down, for the first time in a long time.

He felt just as helpless now as he did when he got those horrible video clips and hearing Roxy say how shit he'd made her feel he felt nauseous. He quickly leant forward on his hands and knees as a particularly violent wave of nausea took over and he heaved the contents of his stomach up onto the forest floor.

After a few minutes he caught his breath and his mind slowed down with the rate of his heart. His head was fuzzy and he felt weak as the adrenalin slowly left his body, leaving trembling muscles in its wake.

He caught his breath and used the tree to slowly help him pull himself up from the floor. Looking down at himself he saw all the twigs and dirt sticking to his clothes and he urgently brushed it all off. It took a few seconds to gather his bearings and he realised he wasn't too far from the cabin. Taking a few more minutes to catch his breath and quieten his mind he leaned against the tree before setting off back to the clubhouse.

xxx xxx

Roxy slowly, and determinedly, stomped along the gravel track away from the cabin. When she heard the heavy boot steps behind her she thought it was Juice and was ready to turn around and punch him this time but when she saw Happy stalking her she stopped dead in her tracks.

"C'mon." He gestured for her to turn back with him.

"No Happy. Just leave me alone." She sighed.

Happy groaned and rolled his head, cracking his neck and hoping he wasn't going to regret this. "What the fuck was that about?"

Roxy shook her head but decided to sit on the log at the side of the track. "I dunno Hap. You don't want to know, trust me."

"Try me." He added as he stomped over to join her on the bench. In for a penny, in for a pound he figured. He pulled a joint out of his kutte pocket, lit it and handed it to her.

"Alright Dr. Phil..." She smirked at his confused expression. "He's been fuckin around at Diosa behind my back. What's your advice?" She smarted.

Happy snorted and took the joint for a drag after she'd taken hers. "Ain't got none. But I can call Harley for you." His gravely tone rumbled.

Roxy shook her head. "Nah it's ok." She blew out some more smoke as they passed the joint back and forward.

They were silent for a few minutes and she almost thought that was the end of their discussion but he surprised her when he spoke again.

"This is all I'm gunna say on the matter so listen good." She nodded. "I got a pretty good guess what's going on. Look I been involved in some hectic shit during my time in the club, but the shit that Lin pulled? That was fucked up. I get that it was fucked up for you to go through but we watched that shit. Juice had to watch those guys fuck you, his Old Lady, and had no way to do shit about it. And I'm sure it's eating him up as much as you." With that he handed her the the rest of the joint and started wandering back down to the cabin.

Roxy watched as the weed burned in her hand, slow trails of smoke twisting up into the air before she took another toke. That was the most she'd heard Happy say in one sitting before and he was surprisingly deep, in his own way. She caught a glimpse of what Harley must see in him all the time and it made her smile.

Happy watched from the steps of the cabin as Roxy smoked and eventually started walking back towards him. He didn't do feelings, not because he didn't have a heart, he loved his Ma and his Aunt, he knew he cared deeply about Harley, but he'd just learnt a long time ago it was easier to shut things off. Plus in his line of work you couldn't really have visible weaknesses. So if his brothers and anyone else they tangled with saw him as a cold hearted killer he'd keep it that way. No need to ruin his rep.

"Feel better?" He asked as she trudged towards him.

"Yeah. A bit. I gotta talk to him." She smiled. "Nicely." She added at his look.

"Good." He ushered her to go inside, standing behind her at the door.

Roxy stopped though and put a hand on his chest. "Y'know Harley's pretty lucky to have you around Hap." She smiled slightly at the strange expression on his face. "I think you make a cute couple." She patted him and chuckled slightly at his annoyed frown. No one ever referred to him as cute.

Roxy's smile dropped as she saw Juice in the kitchen, clearly having just come in himself, looking like shit.

"We need to talk." She said softly as she approached him.

Juice nodded but followed as she walked past him out the back door to find some privacy. He knew what was coming, she was gunna leave him.


	107. Chapter 107

**A/N: omg so I was just telling Ang R the other day how I write this all on my phone as my stupid laptop doesn't work. And I just realised that fanfiction. Net has an app! So I downloaded it and its freaking amazing so should make writing much easier. And I can format it better too. So yay!**

 **Thanks to Lennon and AngR for your thoughts as always. And to all the other readers and followers and favourites out there I'd love to know your thoughts too!**

 **I've added a cover photo for the story finally so I hope you like who I'd had in mind for Roxy all along. Let me know if you had different ideas.**

 **I also got a bit carried away with this chapter towards the end and now it's like 6000 words haha. Oh well, the inspiration took me ;)**

 **Anyways enjoy and as always please review!**

"If you're gunna break up with me then just do it." Juice sighed as they walked away from the cabin.

Roxy stopped when she figured they had a bit of privacy. There was a slight grassy clearing so she moved to sit down and gestured for Juice to join her.

"What happened at Diosa?" She asked calmly, yet still not looking him in the eyes.

Juice didn't sit, he was too wound up to sit, so he paced instead.

"Nothing. A fucking handjob. That's it." He growled, still on the defensive and unsure what to say or do.

"A handjob isn't nothing to me Juice. Not after I offered to do this all above board and you refused. Only for me to find out you did it behind my back. It's like Crystal all over again where I'm here sitting like the idiot. Were you ever going to tell me?" She asked softly without looking at him.

"Yeah... No... I dunno Rox." He finally sighed and sat down facing Roxy when he realised she wasn't on the attack. He rubbed his hand over where his Mohawk had been, but it was replaced with short strands now. "I dunno what to tell you Roxy. But I'm really struggling here." He looked up into her eyes. "I thought I was ok after being on the run, but I'm really not. And I know you're not in a good space and I want to help you but... I don't know what to do any more." She looked down at her hands again. "I am sorry for what happened at Diosa. There's honestly no good reason for it. I was stressed and I know you hate it when I touch you now and I just wanted someone to... want me. I dunno."

Roxy was quiet for a minute. "I don't hate it when you touch me. I just hate that I can't switch of the memories of them."

"I hate that too. Every time you pull away from me I remember those fucking video clips. And how all I could do was sit there and watch as those sick fucks touched you."

Roxy sighed and looked him in the eyes. "I'm sorry, Juice. I know this has been hard on you too. You know, the whole time while it was happening I just kept thinking of you, and how much I love you and then I guess afterwards I started thinking you'd never want me again. I know that's bullshit now because I mean, we've had some good times in the last month but every time I have to pull away that worry starts again."

He heaved a sigh, not really wanting to say this next part but deciding he had to get it out nonetheless. "Every time you pull away I know it's because you are thinking about them and how scared you were and, this is fucked up, and I know I shouldn't feel this way but it just makes me want to touch you more. Like claim you or some shit. Make you forget them." He dropped her gaze, hating that his admission made him sound like some kinda sexed up, possessive asshole. But she was his. And not in a myaoginistic way, like his property or something, but she was his. She was his girlfriend, fiancée, Old Lady, whatever and no one else got to touch her without her permission. "Sorry. That makes me sound like some kinda fuckin psycho."

Roxy grabbed his hand. "No. I know what you mean. I wish you could make me just forget. I wish it worked that way. But just know all the times we've managed to be together since it happened the only person I was thinking about was you."

Juice squeezed her hand and pushed forward for a kiss. Roxy responded to his demanding kiss and swiped her tongue along his bottom lip before tangling it with his. She pulled away after a couple of moments, slightly breathless.

"You didn't kiss that hooker did you?" She asked half joking but half scared of his answer.

Juice shook his head vehemently. "Not a chance. I honestly, I dunno. I really only went in there for a massage-"

Roxy snorted derisively before cutting him off. "- don't try and tell me you went to a brothel for a spa massage. You know damn well what type of _massages_ they offer there."

"I know, I know." He shrugged. "I just had a shit day, my mind was playing tricks on me and at first I thought maybe if I just had that kinda closeness with someone else, knowing they wanted to touch me, I'd feel good. And then when she offered the whole _happy ending_ thing I just let my other brain think for me. It was so fucking stupid and I promise you I'm not going back there."

Roxy sighed. "I get it. Kind of. Still not happy about you going behind my back. That's why I offered you to go there in the first place. I was hoping it would maybe open a discussion and then if it was something you needed we'd at least be able to talk about it and have you be up front about it, not going behind my back like last time we were in a shit period with fucking Crystal."

Juice shuddered, he knew he deserved her hate for that. He still hadn't forgiven himself so how she managed to he didn't know. "I promise you it'll never happen again. I'm gunna get my head straight I promise you."

"It better not. I get now that this was so hard for you and I'm so sorry I neglected your feelings in all this but if you ever go behind my back again I swear to god Juan Carlos I will cut your fucking dick right off."

Juice smiled at the threat but nodded. "Ok baby."

Roxy was happy with everything now, she felt just as guilty for neglecting him in all this as she was sure he felt for Diosa.

"You look like shit anyways. What happened?" She surveyed the dirt on his clothes and the light sheen of sweat that had been covering him, and his eyes were puffy as if he'd been crying.

"Panic attack." He mumbled.

Roxy sighed and pulled into him for a cuddle. "I'm sorry. I knew you weren't good when I came to see you at the motel and I guess I just forgot about it after everything happened."

"I don't blame you to be honest. I'll be ok."

"I really think now is the time you start properly taking the Meds you've been told you need."

Juice tensed at that. "No." He said simply. "Don't need them."

Roxy turned to look up at him. "Baby it's ok to need help, you need to get your head straight right now with everything that's going on. Weed and the odd Xanax isn't gunna fix it."

He sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "Whatever you say."

Roxy figured that was as close an agreement she was going to get and curled back into him, breathing a sigh of relief at the peace in the air in the clearing.

xxx xxx

Rat and Happy were surprised when the two came back together hand in hand and sat down with them in the living room. Montez was with Loutreesha and Roxy told him what to do for now, she'd be fine for a bit longer until the withdrawals really kicked in.

The group were happily drinking and the boys had started playing cards again when Happy's prepay rang. He stepped up onto the porch to answer, the sun had just set so it was slightly cooler outside than in. But the call he got was one he did not expect to hear. He snapped the phone shut and bolted back inside.

"We gotta go brothers."

Juice took in his alarmed appearance and stood quickly. "What is it?"

"Marks has Bobby. Can't talk about it right now," he gestured to Roxy, "but we gotta get back to town."

Juice sighed and looked at Roxy. "Get your stuff."

Roxy nodded obediently and left the room so they had peace to chat.

Happy called Montez through and downloaded the guys on what was happening.

"Marks is fucking pissed about the pastor. Wants the body. They cut out Bobby's eye and sent it to Chibs and Jax at the meet."

"Holy shit." Rat said.

Juice didn't really have anything to say, just rubbed his hair as the familiar sensation of panic surged through his chest. Maybe Roxy was right and he needed to take his Meds so he could deal with this shit.

"What do we do?" He asked Happy.

Happy considered for a moment. "Montez you stay here with the woman. I'll send Wendy up with someone when we get back. We take Roxy back and she can join the lockdown at the club."

"Is it safe taking her back tonight?" Juice wasn't really happy with the idea of riding with her back to Charming right now.

"We got the van, safer than her riding bitch. Don't want her to stay up here just in case." Happy noted Juice's tense appearance. "I'll ride your bike if you wanna drive her in the van bro."

Juice considered for a moment. It'd make him feel better to be the one driving Roxy, Hap was right it wouldn't be safe for her riding bitch in the open right now. Especially seeing as Juice would be the only bike.

"Yeah if you don't mind." Made sense anyways to have the SAA be the one providing the escort.

"Roxy! Let's go!" Hap yelled suddenly and she appeared in the living room a moment later with her handbag. "You're in the van with Juice and Rat. Let's roll out."

Juice threw Happy the keys to his bike and they all gave Montez a man hug goodbye. Rat passed the keys to Juice before hopping in the back of the van leaving Juice and Roxy to the front.

"Nah in the front bro, need you to shoot if shit goes south." Happy ordered. Rat slid the door closed and pulled himself up into the front of the van as Juice made sure Roxy was buckled in next to him. He didn't want her sliding around the back of the van if anything happened.

When they pulled on the highway with Happy tailing the van Roxy could tell how tense Juice was, constantly checking the mirrors for any signs of danger. After a while she relaxed into his side, placing her hand on his thigh and giving it a light squeeze. Juice dropped a hand off the wheel and curled his hand over hers.

No one relaxed until they hit the outskirts of Charming and Rat watched as Roxy occasionally gave Juice a reassuring squeeze or smile when he looked at her. It made him think about how badly he wanted an Old Lady and how things might be easier with someone to fall back on. He wasn't sure if Brooke could be that for him though. She was young, naive, and above all, damaged. But he didn't get to think much longer as they pulled into the clubhouse lot. The Tacoma guys were on guard and slowly opened the gate as they pulled in.

Juice parked the van and hopped out before tossing the keys to Rat. Juice helped Happy back the bike into a spot and Happy pushed Juice's bike keys into his hand before dismounting.

Juice ushered her into the clubhouse and looked around at the faces that filled the room. It was mainly SAMCRO and the SAMTAC brothers and the Old Ladies, the SAMCRO family being a lot smaller these days. Tara and the boys were sitting over in one of the booths and Juice spotted them waving to Roxy.

He pulled her in for kiss. "Go sit with them and I'll see you when church is done."

Roxy nodded and walked over to Tara and the two boys, Abel calling out her name as she walked over.

"Hey monkey boy!" She picked him up from the seat and spun him around a bit before plopping down across from Tara with Abel in her lap. Abel busied himself with his toy cars again, racing them on the table top as the two women started talking.

"Bobby ok?" Roxy ventured.

Tara sighed lengthily. "I don't know Rox."

"Would he survive that?" She cringed thinking about what Juice had told her in the van.

"Yeah, most likely. If they kept him well. It's the infection that would kill him." She frowned.

"I hope they get him soon then."

The two women chatted about other things trying to keep their minds off what was possibly going on out in the real world but were stirred from their conversation as Lyla and Harley made their entrance. Some of the Tacoma guys had gone to pick them up from RedWoody.

"Hey girls." Roxy smiled softly.

Lyla and Harley pulled chairs over seeing as both of the little boys had now decided to take naps on the empty spaces in the booth.

"So what is going on? SAMTAC wouldn't say anything just that we had to get here." Lyla asked worriedly.

"We don't know much other than Bobby has been taken." Roxy stated. She didn't want to give too much away, Lyla had been an Old Lady but she wasn't privy to that much club info any more and although Harley was just as much SAMCRO as Roxy was she didn't know how much Happy told her and didn't want to step on any toes.

"Oh no." Lyla gasped.

"They know where he is?" Harley questioned.

"Dunno. They've been in there a while." Tara gestured to the closed redwood doors of the chapel on the other side of the room.

"Guess it's a waiting game then. Drinks?" Harley offered.

Everyone nodded so she busied herself at the bar grabbing the vodka and a couple of bottles of Coke along with some glasses and made her way back to the table. Harley filled the glasses and shared them around before turning to fix Roxy with a look.

"So, Juice?" She raised an eyebrow.

"We sorted it." Roxy shrugged.

"You're cool with him going to Diosa?" She continued.

Tara snapped up, surprised that Roxy hadn't mentioned anything about it during their earlier chat.

Roxy sighed and shrugged again. "No. He apologised for doing it behind my back. Turns out it was just a massage, with a _happy ending_ apparently. But he's struggling with everything as much as I am. I've kinda neglected talking to him about how he's dealing with it all."

Lyla nodded knowingly. "Yeah, I heard Tig and Happy talking about it one time at RedWoody not long after it happened. Juice was beside himself that whole time and I guess he doesn't really know how to handle it all."

"Yeah." Roxy agreed. "I was so wrapped up in sorting my own head out and wondering if he'd ever want me again, if I'd ever be able to have sex again and all that shit that I didn't really stop and think about what he thought of it all. But we're good now. I think."

"Like I said. It takes time, it'll come good." Harley said before sipping her drink. "Still wanna see you smack that Brandi around though. God she's an arrogant little gash."

Roxy raised an eyebrow at Harley's tone. "I don't think she knew he was attached as such. Not really her fault when he sought her out. Just doing her job." Roxy rolled her eyes with the last sentence.

Lyla leaned over to see Roxy better. "She's just sour that Brandi tried hitting on Happy a few times. Says she's not got a crow so she doesn't have a claim on Happy." She gestured to Harley.

Roxy snorted. "We all know that's a lie. This is the damn closest Happy's been to having an Old Lady since I've known him. Juice said the same thing."

Harley scoffed. "Hardly Old Lady status yet so let's calm down. I'm under no illusions to what Happy's like. Just don't fancy the skanks rubbing it in my face." Harley said with a sad smile.

"There aren't any skanks though Harley. Not that I've seen. He's been at Diosa plenty of times and I haven't seen him give them so much as a smile." Lyla assured.

"Happy doesn't smile at anyone." Harley rolled her eyes.

"Except you." Roxy laughed.

The girls gossiped for a bit longer and eventually the doors to the chapel opened and SAMCRO, along with the SAMTAC officers, poured out, all looking like thunder, and stalled over to the bar. The SAMTAC president sorting out a round of shots for the brothers. Eventually Juice, Happy, and Jax made their way over to the girls wanting to collect them to head back to the dorms.

Roxy looked to Lyla. "You gunna be ok?" She felt guilty leaving Lyla out here alone while they all went off with their Old Men.

Lyla caught Quinn's eye and nodded. "I'll be fine."

Roxy stood to follow Juice back to his dorm, Tara and Jax already on their way to Jax's while Happy room Harley outside for a smoke and some quiet.

Juice locked the door behind them as Roxy made her way over to his bed. She stopped and took her shoes and jeans off, folding them neatly over his computer chair before sliding into his bed and shimmying over to sit against the wall. Juice moved over and flopped down next to her on the bed, fully dressed and too tired to take off anything other than his boots and kutte. He was exhausted after the last couple of days and as he settled into bed next to Roxy he couldn't help but let out a long breath he didn't know he'd been holding in. He shifted so he was sitting with his back against the headboard and avoided Roxy's gaze as she sat next to him.

"How's Bobby?" Roxy asked after a few moments.

Juice rubbed over his hair, like he always did when stressed, and shifted uncomfortably as the panic set in again. "We don't know. Tara said to Jax he should be ok if they don't leave him too long but we got no idea where to start."

Roxy squeezed his hand and tucked herself closer to him. She loved Bobby like an Uncle, like she did with all the older club members. She'd known him since she was a little girl and he'd always been a fun and goofy uncle when she was little but as she grew up he was always there to supply the wise words her father never could. Tig had been a surrogate father but everyone knew what sort of life advice he had to offer so Bobby and Chibs kind of balanced that crazy for her. But as much as she cared for Bobby she knew Juice was feeling it too, if not more. This was his only family and he took the brotherhood seriously, as he should, and she knew these guys took this personal, like they should immediately be able to fix any problem. She understood how they must have felt when she was taken.

"I'm so sorry baby." She turned to kiss him on the cheek. "If anyone can survive this its Bobby. He survived Precious after all." She tried to lighten the mood with mention of Bobby's crazy ex wife. Juice knew all too well how mental that woman was having run into her a few times on club business and while dating his ex.

"You're not wrong there." He joked half heartedly.

Roxy could sense his mood and after everything they talked about today she wanted to comfort him. Pushing everything to the back of her mind she shifted and slung her leg over his outstretched body and lowered her head slightly to kiss him, long and slow. As their kiss heated up Roxy began to gently grind her hips down on his and was rewarded by feeling the hardening bulge in his pants Roxy let out a soft moan as she moved her hips but Juice pulled back slightly.

"We don't have to do this." He said through some heavy breaths.

Roxy shook her head. "Yeah we do." She lowered her lips to his ear. "I want you Juan Carlos." She purred.

Roxy moved her lips to his and kissed him deeply. Juice groaned beneath her and tried pushing her over and slid his hands up to her chest, but Roxy nipped his bottom lip with her teeth before tugging his shirt over his head and knelt back on the bed to slip off her own tshirt. She tugged at Juice's legs to pull his jeans down and he slipped down the bed so he was lying down.

Roxy straddled him once again, intending on taking her time with him, she wanted to reinforce how much she wanted him, how much she loved him. He needed it.

But Juice was in a hurry, he kept trying to unhook her bra and push down her panties. Eventually she grabbed his hands and pinned them above his head.

"Slow down Ortiz. Let's enjoy the ride." She rolled her hips against his once again. She was lost in the moment, no thoughts of anyone else but him.

Juice groaned deeply, he could easily throw her over, he usually would have done being the dominant one in their sex life. But she knew he was exercising restraint so as not to freak her out.

Roxy could feel him squirming beneath her as she continued kissing him, hands pinning his above his head. Juice broke her grip but she sat back up again out of his reach, she noticed the belt on his pants next to them and a plan formed in her mind. She slipped the belt from its loops and pushed his jeans on to the floor. Turning back to face him Juice could see the smirk on her face and knew something good was coming.

Roxy bent down again so her body was flush with his and pulled his hands up above his head again. She set to work tying his hands to the headboard behind his head. This was the first time they'd ever done this. Juice was always the dominant one and Roxy liked it that way. He'd tied her up a few times with some handcuffs he kept in his drawer but the only time she'd tried it on him was a couple of months after Stockton and he balked at the idea, 14 months in cuffs had been enough for him. Using them on her was different in his mind.

Roxy kissed him sweetly on the lips after ensuring he couldn't break free and started to move her lips slowly down to his neck, biting softly down over her name on his neck, sucking just enough to leave a mark. As she made her way down to his chest, kissing and licking in the spots she knew he loved, he squirmed beneath her, his crotch seeking friction that was no longer there as she had moved off his body.

His breathing had quickened by the time she made it past his belly button and he attempted to get his hands out of the belt. "What are you doing Rox?" His voice was low and breathy as he spoke.

"Showing you how much I want you." She slipped his boxers down enough to free his rock hard cock and deftly circled it with her fingers.

"Let my hands free." He ordered without conviction. "I want to touch you." He looked down at Roxy who was situated between his legs, her hand slowly sliding up and down.

"It's all about you tonight baby." She smiled. It probably wasn't the healthiest way to deal with everything but she was using tonight as a way to show him she was going to start looking after him, focusing on him.

Roxy licked from his base to his tip before encompassing him with her mouth. Juice groaned lengthily and his head fell back to hit the pillow between his arms. One of Roxy's hands worked the part of his dick she couldn't fit in her mouth while the other scratched lightly down the inside of his thigh before running up over his stomach, just enough to cause goosebumps.

Juice was in a state of complete bliss, the feel of Roxy touching him once again was amazing, and since the attack this had been the most intense sexual encounter they'd had, he didn't think he'd particularly enjoy being restrained like this but it intensified everything. He wanted to tangle his fingers in her hair and guide her movements, but he couldn't. He was completely at her mercy.

Roxy must have sensed he was coming undone because she pulled back, leaving him exposed and wanting. She pulled his boxers off completely and threw them across the room. Then she moved to take her panties off and draped them on his chest, she knew he loved her panties, he was so weird like that, so she just left them there where he'd want to grab them.

She slipped back up his body, pausing occasionally to kiss parts of him as she went before catching his lips in a searing kiss again. Juice's lips were hard and urgent. Begging her silently to end his misery but she was having fun teasing him like this. She slipped her hand down between their bodies and stroked him some more while she kept up their kiss, and before long she once again sensed he was close and pulled away.

"Roxy..." He warned, he was getting desperate now.

"What do you want?" She whispered in his ear.

"You know it. Come on." He squirmed as she squeezed him gently.

"I want you to say it though."

"I want you. I want to fuck you." He groaned.

Roxy shivered at the need in his voice, she was enjoying this, getting to be fully in charge was exciting and relaxing at the same time. Seeing Juice's body bend to her every touch was exhilarating and turned her on knowing she was the cause of it all.

"In that case." She smirked and straddled him once again.

She wrapped her hand around him once again, jerking him slowly as she slipped the fingers of her other hand through her folds to check she was ready. Juice burned that image into his brain, he'd never forget how hot she looked right now his hard dick in one hand while she fingered herself with the other, the look of want on her face erased every worry he had from his brain and he just wanted to be with her. He moaned her name as he thrust into her hand and she slowly positioned herself over him and dropped down around him.

"Fuck." Juice moaned at the intense sensation, he just wanted to grab her hips and still her for a moment but she slowly started rocking against him as she kissed him.

For Roxy she loved this slow friction, she was barely pulling off him, rather just rolling her hips against him and it was bringing her so close to the edge she knew she wouldn't last long. She'd worked herself up just as much as Juice during this whole episode.

The feeling of Roxy's breasts pressed against him as she rocked slowly against him was too much but not enough at the same time. He could tell she was so close due to her moans and heavy breathing. He attempted thrusting up against her to increase her speed but she bit his neck in response.

Juice growled beneath her and strained his hands against the headboard as he almost considered begging her. But before he could she surprised him by crying out his name and shuddering against him. The slow and intimate rocking with him deep inside her had been just right and Roxy felt every muscle in her body spasm as she rode out her orgasm.

"Roxy, baby, please." Juice was begging underneath her, thrusting slowly upwards with his hips and she couldn't deny him. He'd been such a good sport.

She sat up more so she bounce and began to ride him. Juice groaned and thrust upwards beneath her, his eyes growing wide as she began to play with her breasts, slipping the cups down and straps down out of the way, not bothering to undo it at this stage. "Baby untie my hands." He ordered again.

Roxy shook her head at his request and let her hands fall and put them on his thighs to help her bounce, Juice watched as her hair and tits bounced above him, her face the picture of pleasure and he thanked every god in the universe that he could still claim her as his. But despite how amazing she was right now it just wasn't right for him, he needed to set the pace to catch his release.

"Baby don't make me fucking beg. I need to touch you." He practically growled and Roxy conceded and slowed her thrusts back to their sensual roll as she leaned down to let him free.

Before the belt had even fallen away Juice had flipped them over and nestled himself between her legs. Roxy's eyes lit up and she called out his name as he hit just the right spot. Juice set a hard pace now he felt like he was finally scratching that itch.

"Fuck you're so goddamn sexy." He rasped in her ear, his arms braced either side of her head as he pounded his hips against hers. "Makin me watch you like that. God you have no fucking idea what you do to me."

"Fuck... Juan Carlos... I'm so close." She breathed out as she arched her back off the bed.

"Come on. Come for me baby." Juice kissed down her neck and sucked hard over the soft flesh of her destroyed crow.

Roxy cried out and gripped his arms as she vibrated with pleasure, Juice gave a few more choppy thrusts before joining her.

It was a few moments before Juice managed to roll off of her and he pulled her against his side. "Wow. You've never done anything like that before." He chuckled. "What brought that on?"

"I figured I needed to show you just how much I love you, want you, all that shit you talked about today." She smiled up at him.

"I didn't mean it like that Roxy."

"I know you didn't. But I also know you and sometimes that's the best way to show you." She leaned up on her elbow. "I really do love you JC. You're seriously the only guy that I want and everything you've done for me has just been... I don't know. I guess I can never show you how much it means."

"I got a pretty good idea." He smirked, twisting her panties round the fingers on his free hand. They'd fallen off his chest at some point during their tryst but he'd decided he'd be keeping them now.

"I guess I just want you to know that if anything ever happens to you that you know how much I love you." She was thinking of Bobby now and how alone he must be feeling. She knew that feeling well. "I don't want you to ever doubt it like you did the other day, y'know doubt that I want you."

Juice nodded slowly. "Poor Bobby."

Roxy sighed. "I know. Honestly, the only thing that got me through that time in the warehouse, the fear of them coming back, the unknown, was hoping I got to see you again. I don't know how many times I replayed your proposal in my head, wondering if I'd ever get to actually marry you."

"I was doing a similar thing. At first I thought you'd run off without me. But when I knew you hadn't I wished I could like telepathically talk to you or something. Tell you how much I loved you. Sounds crazy but I just went nuts. I'd have hated if you'd died thinking I didn't care about you or thinking I wasn't looking for you." He let a couple of tears run free.

"I knew you'd be looking for me. I had faith in you." She pulled him in for a deep kiss. "Let's promise each other right now that if anything ever happens to either one of us from now on that we know the other loves them and would be looking for them. Yeah? If anything ever happens to you just know I'd be thinking of you every second you're gone. That you wouldn't be alone." Roxy's tone was urgent.

Juice nodded and kissed Roxy deep and slow. He thought of Bobby, alone with Marks' guy not having an Old Lady to worry about him like this. Or his other brothers who didn't have Old Ladies who'd be going through all this alone tonight with only a Crow Eater to keep them warm.

He thanked every god in the universe once again that he had this amazing woman to call his own.


	108. Chapter 108

**A/N: I'm so glad the last chapter turned out so well. It's soooo awkward writing that lol but glad it turned out well.**

 **And as asked for there's a bit more Happy and Harley here and to come in the next chapter. Don't know how involved I'll get with their relationship but I'll include them more where I can.**

 **Thanks again Lennon and AngR! Your faithful reviews keep me going! Would love to hear everyone else's thoughts!**

Juice and Roxy woke up early the following morning. The guys had a lot of ground to cover and were expecting Tyler from the Niners for a meeting at 8am.

The couple took a long shower together, just kissing, touching, reacquainting themselves again. As much as Juice hated when Roxy couldn't be with him, the making up after was amazing, she'd be extra handsy for a few days after. However it had to end some time.

Roxy zipped up her black skinny jeans and threw a blue plaid shirt on over her black tank top. She did take extra care on her hair that morning, tying it in to a bouncy ponytail and wore some make up for the first time in weeks. She just hoped they had good news about Bobby and she didn't end up crying her mascara off.

Juice waited for her, dressed in his usual dickies, tight gray tshirt with his hoodie and kutte on over the top. Roxy surveyed his hair as they made their way out to the bar. He was determined to grow it back to his Stockton look, Roxy didn't mind though, she thought he looked handsome with the longer locks. But it bothered her as to why. He said he just wanted a change but after seeing the tattoo under his trade mark hawk she figured he was more likely trying to hide it. The guys had asked him what it meant and he refused to say anything. Tig couldn't leave it alone though and cracked, ending up asking Roxy just after Christmas, staring at it under Juice's thin amount of stubble. Juice threatened him with the ring if he asked Roxy again so Tig dropped it. Finally respecting his brother's privacy.

"What ya thinkin about?" Juice asked as they pulled up a seat at the bar to tuck in to Chucky's breakfast feast. The rest of SAMCRO and the SAMTAC guys who weren't at the RedWoody lockdown were littered around. Roxy couldn't spot Lyla, Harley, or Happy and figured they must still be sleeping.

"Just how I like your hair right now." She smiled warmly at him.

Juice gave her his trademark grin in response before stuffing his mouth full of bacon.

Lyla and Harley eventually emerged from the dorms, Harley looking slightly worse for wear.

Tig groaned dramatically beside Roxy and called out to the two girls. "Don't tell me I missed a filming ladies." Implying the two had shared a bed.

Lyla chuckled slightly and shook her head but Harley, who was usually good natured, threw him the bird and stormed off out the door into the lot. Chibs groaned and shook his head, Tig not knowing what had happened last night.

"What was that about?" Roxy asked the group.

"I think you should go talk to her." Lyla said softly.

Roxy nodded, kissing Juice quickly before following out into the lot after Harley. She didn't have to look far to find her friend sitting on a picnic bench, the one they usually occupied as they waited for the guys.

Roxy scanned the line of bikes as she sat down, noticing the spot where Happy's had been the night before. Interesting.

"So what's going on?" She asked Harley.

Harley groaned, lighting up a joint and passing it to Roxy after a drag. "Don't even know where to begin."

"Does it have something to do with Happy's bike not being here?" Roxy questioned.

"Oh yeah." She rubbed her face in frustration. "We got into it last night."

"About what?"

"Just all the Old Lady shit." She looked up to Roxy. "It's been coming up a lot recently from other people but Hap's been so silent about it. I'm sure he knows how I feel and what I want out of this relationship, or whatever the fuck it is, but he's been all silent on the matter. I've been letting it slide for a while now, hoping he'd make himself clear eventually. But I brought it up last night when we came out here. He got all huffy about pressure and not wanting an Old Lady and we argued some. He decided to stay at RedWoody to cool off and that set me off more."

"Shit huh."

"Yup." Harley popped the 'P' sound and took another drag. "I know he's been with other girls." Roxy started shaking her head but Harley just cut her off. "I hear the sweet butts talking. I know where he's been at. Sure Lyla says he don't touch the girls at Diosa but that's only because he's a tight ass and wouldn't see the point in paying for pussy when he can get it here or on the road for free."

"Do you know that for sure?" Roxy prompted.

Harley shook her head slightly. "I know of a couple of occasions, happened on the road and a couple times here. He wouldn't even talk to me about it last night." She sighed again. "I know this is the wrong time to bring it up, what with Bobby and all, but he's expecting me to be here for him all the time, follow his orders and stuff and I guess I just wanted an assurance that it was serious." She shook her head and let some of the tears out.

"I'm so sorry Harley."

"I just thought it was going somewhere, y'know?" She sobbed quietly. "I know he's quiet and serious, I know what he does for the club and all, but he makes me happy, pun intended. I just figured I did the same for him."

Roxy comforted her while she broke down quietly, rocking her and shushing her at appropriate times and eventually she pulled back and sat up, playing with the lighter in her hands.

"He reminds me so much of my dad. It was comforting. Maybe that's all this was, me working out my daddy issues while he got off on fucking a kinky porn producer." She shrugged and moved to stand up.

"Hey don't sell yourself short Harley. He's fucking lucky to have you. Just-" they cut their heads up at the sound of bikes pulling up as the SAMTAC guards opened the gate. "Give him time while this Bobby shit is going down. Yeah? Happy doesn't really seem to do emotions very well never mind multiple emotions at once."

Harley nodded as they watched Happy, Quinn, and a couple SAMTAC members pull in to the lot followed by two blacked out caddys.

"This must be the meet." Roxy nodded to the cars.

"Ah ok. Something to do with Bobby?" Harley asked distractedly, not looking at Roxy but at the guys as they dismounted. Not taking her eyes of Happy as he moved over to greet the black guys stepping out of the cars.

The group of rather mismatched, yet intimidating, men made their way over to the garage while Happy broke off and walked towards the girls. He didn't spare a look at either of them as he walked into the clubhouse to get the rest of SAMCRO to head over to the bays where they had more privacy.

A second later he reappeared in the lot with the rest of SAMCRO behind him, once again not looking at Harley or Roxy, not even for a second. But Roxy did notice the giant hickey on his neck... And judging by the fresh bout of tears Harley did too.

xxx xxx

"So you talk to Marks?" Chibs questioned Tyler as Juice propped himself behind him against a toolbox.

"Just his new commando leader." He answered.

"What do we know about Moses Cartwright?" Chibs asked.

"Ex-military, special ops, Blackwater graduate. So is his team." Tyler listed.

"Shit that's a serious resume." Tig nodded.

"What does August want?" Chibs asked, even though he already knew the answer.

"What do you think he wants? The dead pastor and his family. That photo and statement set him on fire, man. I ain't never seen him do nothin like this before." He sighed before starting the next part. "Moses said for every 24 hours August had to wait, he's gonna cut off another part of your guy. Means you got till the end of the day."

Juice ran his hand through his hair, sighing roughly as Rat did a similar thing to his forehead with his fingers. Tig and Happy were the only two to not outwardly display their frustration and fear.

"Jesus Christ." Rat exhaled. This was probably the most serious shit he'd been involved in since being patched in, aside from Roxy's kidnap, but this was even more fucked up.

"We need to find out where they're holding Bobby." Chibs leaned forward on his knees.

"Already got my guys on it. Scoping out Pope's office buildings and construction sites."

"What about safe houses? Pope had a couple outside Oakland."

"No those got compromised a while back. But we'll still check em." Tyler conceded at Chibs' look.

"Alright. Thank you." Chibs shook Tyler's hand but Tyler hesitated.

"I'm with you guys, on Marks. But I don't know how long I'm gonna be able to keep playing double agent."

"Niners are the only ones that can get us close to Marks so we can get Bobby back." Chibs drawled impatiently.

"Yeah I know. But with this new kill squad on the street they're gunna put it together that I'm helping you."

"There's no half in Tyler. You want business after Marks we do this together. Or you're on your own."

Tyler nodded. "Alright. I'll let you know what we find out."

Tyler stood up and the Sons stood alongside him as a sign of respect.

When Tyler left the Sons let out a collective groan.

"Shit. What are we gunna do?" Rat was the first to speak.

Chibs sighed lengthily. "I don't know boys." They were quiet for a few moments. "We gotta see what we can track down. Juice get on the computer, see what you can dig up in terms of property. Maybe they have a warehouse or something. Hap and Quinn you guys head back to RedWoody, have Barosky meet you there. Tig, Jax, and I will try Precious' bounty hunter old man, see what we can dig up. Rat you just stick around here with Juice. The SAMTAC guys will probably want a rest." They all nodded, having their orders they were ready to go. "Girls stay put here ok? I know the rest of the friends and family are at RedWoody but I like having them close."

Tig was having Venus brought by later so Juice smiled knowing that obviously that meant she was important to him. Plus Roxy seemed to get along with her so maybe she'd be good for her. Juice and Rat walked back over towards the clubhouse and Juice noticed how Happy didn't say goodbye, let alone look at, Harley before getting on his bike and leading Quinn out of the lot. That was different. Normally their public make out sessions put everyone else on edge. He shook his head at his brother's stupidity. Obviously something had gone down last night and he figured it must have been to do with the hickey on his neck and the fact he didn't sleep at the clubhouse last night. Juice knew he had no room to talk when it came to cheating but it seemed like Happy was dodging his obvious feelings for Harley and destroying their relationship in the process.

"Follow me Rat. I gotta get some computer shit from my house. I'll just grab the keys." Rat nodded and Juice made his way over to Roxy.

"Just gunna head over to the house to get some computer stuff. Want me to get you anything?"

"Can I come with?" Roxy lit up at the chance to leave for a bit. She didn't mind Juice grabbing her clothes for her but when he did he usually got the most impractical outfits and underwear, clearly thinking with his dick more than his brain.

"I dunno babe. Not the best idea right now."

"Juice it's five minutes away. I just wanna make sure I get some actual comfortable clothes and not stripper outfits this time."

Juice smirked remembering the fit she had the last time he grabbed her clothes for a stay at the clubhouse. Booty shorts and crop tops apparently didn't make the list for her definition of leisurewear. Juice had agreed at the time and joked to her that he thought she said pleasure-wear. She had not been impressed.

"Mind out the gutter Ortiz."

"Fine. I'll go get the keys." He jogged into the clubhouse and appeared back in a few minutes.

"Mind if I tag along? Borrow some clothes Roxy?" Harley questioned. She was currently wearing a spare sweatshirt of Juice's that Roxy had sourced for her after realising she had nothing else.

Harley didn't wait for Juice's answer and started making her way over to Rat's bike.

"Hap ain't gunna like you riding bitch on someone else's bike." He warned her. Knowing she would argue about staying.

"Don't really give a shit, he's made it very clear he doesn't have a claim on me." She pulled a spare helmet from Tig's saddle bag and hopped on behind Rat who looked petrified before turning to Juice.

"He's not gunna kill me, is he?" He asked Juice wide eyed.

Juice shrugged as he straddled his own bike and waited for Roxy. "Maybe a little."

Rat shook his head and kicked his bike over to follow Juice out the lot.

Tig turned to Chibs as they made their way to the bikes. "Hap's gunna lose his shit when he finds out about that." He nodded to the departing bikes.

"Something tells me that his departure to RedWoody last night had something to do with the 'old lady' discussions that have been happening of late." He hopped on his bike and waited for the others as Tig saddled up. "Until he admits that shit he's got no right to be pissed at a brother for offering a pretty lady a ride."

Tig chuckled. "Oh I'd give her a ride alright." Before cackling mischievously.

"Haven't you known her since she was a baby?" Chibs scowled and roared his bike to life.

Tig just shrugged before kicking over his bike and following Chibs out the lot.

xxx xxx

The day had been long and full of nothing in regards to Bobby. They had no leads and weren't prepared to hand over their blackmail. Juice searched endless property records looking for something in Pope, Marks', or this new Moses' guys names. But nothing came up of any use, no where that looked like it could be warehouse-y. All they had to go off was the video and the background had simply looked like a rusty old warehouse.

Juice sighed and sunk down into the sofa next to Roxy. Happy was due to be back soon and she was keeping an eye on Harley.

"Do you think he'll get over himself long enough to admit he loves her?" She murmured as Juice stroked her hair.

"I dunno. Hap's a weird guy. Doesn't seem like the type to do relationships. For as long as he's been in the Sons he hasn't had one. Just fucked sweet butts and moved on." Juice answered.

"Mmm well I hope he realises how good she is soon. Harley won't stand around and be treated like that."

Juice just nodded and pulled her in for a kiss, he ran his hand from her cheek down her side and used it to squeeze her thigh. Before he could pull away to get her to come to the dorms Happy and Quinn rolled in through the doors and Chibs called for church.

Once again Happy paid Harley no mind and just breezed right on through to take his seat, glaring holes in the table while his brothers filed in around him.

Happy didn't want to lose Harley. She's the first girl that has made him feel... feel anything in a long time. He'd shut himself a long, long, time ago and thrown himself into what he did for the club. He didn't do relationships, not since her. Maybe now was the time to try again. But that would mean telling Harley and he wasn't sure he could do that.

xxx xxx

The guys had been in church for a while now and the girls just sat around having some drinks. Everyone was on edge for news on Bobby and the girls had spent the day locked down in the clubhouse with Abel and Thomas to keep occupied. Thankfully they were in bed now and the girls could relax.

That was until the clubhouse doors flew open and two of the SAMTAC members ran inside. They went straight to the chapel and flew through the doors without knocking. A few minutes later the girls could hear the crashing of chairs and cursing.

The girls stood up by the bar as they waited for the guys to come out. Juice and Jax made their way over to Roxy and Tara and pulled them down to the dorms leaving Lyla and Harley standing at the bar. Quinn looked at Lyla and nodded his head and she went to go be with him, they'd been hooking up on the down low for a few weeks so Harley considered maybe something would go on with them.

Everyone else cleared out of the bar leaving Harley standing with her drink and Happy shifting uncomfortably near the doors of the chapel.

"We need to talk." He eventually called out gruffly.

Harley sighed and skulled the rest of her drink before walking over to him. "If you want to break up with me Hap I get it. We don't need to talk." She tried to brush past him to the spare dorm she shared with Lyla the night before.

Happy shot his hand out and grabbed her wrist and when she looked to him she saw a change in his features, conflict maybe, hurt, she wasn't sure but she nodded.

"We can go to the roof? Quiet up there." She offered.

Happy nodded and followed her up the ladder. He'd usually use that vantage point to check out her ass but he had other things on his mind tonight.

xxx xxx

"So what happened?" Roxy asked Juice as she joined him in bed. "Is Bobby ok?"

"I don't know." He hung his head and rubbed furiously at his hair.

Roxy caught his hands with hers and pulled them to her lap. "Tell me." She whispered.

"They sent us his fucking fingers Roxy." He looked up at her. "This shit is crazy. If he doesn't die he sure as hell cant ride now."

Roxy pulled him in for a hug. "We'll get him some fingers like Chucky, he's gunna be ok."

Juice nodded. "If we find him."

"You'll find him. I know you will Juice."

Juice nodded again. "C'mere." He pulled her in for a hug, kissing her soundly on the lips, once again thanking God that he had her here to even him out.


	109. Chapter 109

**A/N: hopefully this satisfies the Happy/Harley fans out there. (AngR) hehe. I never meant to really make them a focal point of the story but I'm happy to include them some more as supporting characters if people are liking them.**

 **I finish my maternity leave and start back at work full time tomorrow :( so it may take me a few days to get into the swing of things and keep up with posting. However I'll be updating as soon as I can.**

 **In the meantime please everyone review! It helps with the motivation and reminds me to stay on my game.**

 **It's sad I seem to lose 'favourites' and gain some every now and again. I'd like to hear from you even if you aren't enjoying the story. I do have a plan for everyone's endings but if there's something you're not happy with you never know, I could change it up a bit. Although this has been a story in my head I do like to keep the readers happy and interested, so I'm more than open to suggestions for how to make things better.**

 **Anyways, thanks for following and reviewing everyone! Love ya!**

"So what did you need to talk about?" Harley asked after a moment. Happy had followed her to the roof and sat down next to her on a ledge above a short drop. He lit up a smoke then said nothing for a couple of minutes before she decided to prompt him. She knew him and he'd sit silent all night to avoid saying whatever it is he felt he had to say.

Happy cleared his throat before responding, he didn't look at Harley, just fixated on his smoke and let the words tumble out of his mouth.

"I proposed to my high school girlfriend right outta school. We'd been together a couple years, been through some rough shit, felt like she deserved the world and I wanted to give it to her. Thing is I messed around too much at school to graduate. Spent too long trying to overcompensate for not having a dad around to show me how to be a real man. So I spent most of my time fucking around. Except when it came to my Ma and Ariana." He smiled softly as he spoke her name and Harley bowed her head as he continued. "I had no chance of getting a real job, Ariana's family were shit to her, so we decided to go for a ride, find somewhere else to be, start a new life together." He sighed heavily and Harley knew what was coming wouldn't be good. She didn't say anything for fear of derailing his spiel. "We eventually found ourselves in Tacoma. Set up a little house. I got a job messing around in a garage up there and things seemed to go well for a few months. The garage was owned by SAMTAC and after a while they asked me to Prospect for them. Even as a Prospect the money was crazy good so I took it on and Ariana seemed to like the club members, the family, and everything was great." He paused, taking a big breath before continuing. Harley watched as his shoulders slumped in the moonlight. "Towards the end of my Prospect year we found out we were pregnant, Ariana was over the moon, said she couldn't wait to give the baby the family we never had growing up. I was determined to do right for them so I tried earning as much as possible. I was working myself to the bone so Ariana didn't have to keep working at the diner while she was pregnant. I was spending more and more time at the clubhouse running around, proving myself to the guys. One night, when Ariana was 13 weeks along, I was out helping on a run, some local thugs broke in to our house." Happy stopped and moved his head for the first time since starting. He looked out over the lot while Harley's gaze stayed glued to his face, she knew this wasn't going to have a good outcome, obviously, she just wanted to catch a hint as to how bad it would be.

She couldn't see anything in his features except for his jaw clenching as he obviously tried to bite back the emotion threatening to pour out. Eventually he deemed himself in control enough to continue speaking. "The guys were on some kinda gang initiation. Hit our house at random, stole some shit, but they also had to hurt someone... They raped her so bad she lost the baby right there on the kitchen floor-" Harley gasped in horror as Happy's head bowed once again "- then they shot her in the chest. Didn't kill her instantly. Instead, cop report said she woulda bled out slowly, too paralysed to call me to come home. I can't even think about how scared she woulda been. Or how much pain she would have felt. She woulda known the baby died, report said she'd have felt the blood and known what it was." He paused for a moment and Harley had no idea what to say or do.

"Happy I-"

But he cut her off. "- the SAMTAC President, VP, and SAA helped me track down the fuckers that did that to Ariana. I killed all four of em. Slowly. Didn't bat an eyelid the whole time, even as they begged for their lives I didn't care. It felt good to watch the life slowly drain out their eyes. Just hoping they'd feel the same pain Ariana would have done. I'd always been a bit fucked up, school psych blamed it on my 'rough childhood', but that night my humanity left and that was it for me." He flicked his butt over the edge before continuing. "The Pres and SAA were so impressed with me after that the SAA took me under his wing soon as I was patched in. That's been it ever since. They're the only ones who ever knew about what happened. The Pres and SAA died a few years back. Lee, the VP, is now pres." He turned to look at Harley's hands.

Harley knew her mouth was hanging open but she didn't really know what to do. She grabbed Happy's hand with hers and squeezed it. "I'm so sorry Hap." Was all she could say.

He shrugged a shoulder. "Don't matter now. Damage is done."

"Damage? Why you telling me all this now?" She urged softly.

"Since she died I don't think I've ever stayed the night with a bitch let alone fucked em more than a couple times. But it's different with you."

Harley almost couldn't believe it. She had no idea what Happy had been through and here he was telling her he'd never properly had a relationship with anyone in 16 years, except her.

"Everything that happened with Roxy kinda brought it back up. I offered to watch those tapes instead of Juice coz I didn't want him to see the damage they'd cause. If Roxy died I didn't want him to go down the same fucked up path I did." He lit another smoke. "Then everyone started in on the Old Lady shit and it just threw me off. They all think I'm some cold hearted bastard who doesn't understand what feelings are or some shit. They just don't realise-"

"- that you had an Old Lady all along." Harley finished for him. Happy lifted a shoulder. "I don't think you're a cold hearted bastard Happy. I knew something spooked you about us I just didn't know it was that." She sighed and ran a hand through her loose blonde hair. The fake curls had long gone from yesterday's curling iron so it hung limply, straight down her back. "I didn't mean to push with the Old Lady stuff Hap. I wouldn't have if I'd known. I guess I just really care about you Happy. I mean I think I love you."

Happy gave her hand a squeeze with his and looked in her eyes for the first time all day, she could see the honesty and hurt in his usually calculating eyes. "I know you do."

She didn't know if he meant the caring about him part or the loving him part but she took it as a good sign and moved in to plant a soft kiss on his lips. "Y'know I'm not trying to replace her. I'd never be able to I'm sure. But I just want to make you happy, Happy." She smiled softly. "You deserve to move on, have someone to come home to, someone to take care of you. If you want that, I want to give it to you. Just let me know." She moved to stand up and looked down into Happy's eyes, she stood in between his legs and cupped his face in her hands. "Thank you for sharing that with me. Just take some time to think, I'm sure Ariana would want you to be happy. And if you decide I can do that then come find me. Take as long as you need." She bent down and kissed his forehead before leaving him to think things through.

xxx xxx

Harley and Roxy sat out on their usual picnic table that next morning and had their breakfast and smokes. The guys came out of the clubhouse and headed over to their bikes.

Juice stopped by Roxy and pulled her in for a kiss. "Gotta go up to the cabin. I'll see you later on." He pulled her in for another kiss. "I love you."

"Love you too baby." She squeezed him round his middle from her spot on the bench top and he smiled brightly down at her. "Just remember and take it easy today." She said softly. Still worried about his anxiety.

"Yeah I will." He kissed her once more and took off for his bike.

Happy walked past the two girls, not going over for a goodbye but he smiled slightly at Harley, anyone else would have missed the upturn of his lips, but she didn't.

Happy straddled his bike, he wasn't ready to go over to Harley yet, he needed to sort his head first. But he decided to send her a message before they left.

 _Stay safe today._ \- H

Harley smiled down at her phone and nodded her head, quickly firing the same sentiment back to him before flipping the phone closed.

"What's all that about?" Roxy asked her friend.

"We talked some last night." Harley replied simply.

"And?"

"Waiting on him to make the move." Harley smiled as the guys rode out of the lot.

xxx xxx

The ride up to the cabin was tense, the feeling that they were being watched was always present and Juice was worried they'd be ambushed along the way. However they made it to the cabin safely after doubling back a few times to avoid any followers.

Juice sat staring at the wall while Chibs interviewed the Pastor's son, there wasn't much else they could do right now but he just wished they were being active in their search for Bobby. The son went outside to grab the phone while Tyler and his guys came in.

Juice chuckled as he saw them look around the cabin, it was the epitome of white, older male, hunting cabin.

"You guys have gone full redneck." Tyler smarted as he checked out the cabin's decor.

"We used to have a couple of black heads on the wall, but we took em down, y'know, out of respect." Tig smirked.

"I appreciate that." Tyler said sarcastically. "I hear you got another package? From Marks and his black ops."

"Yup." Chibs responded. "And it's gunna be the last one. I need you to set up a meet with August. Him or Moses it doesn't matter. I'll give him the Pastor's body and leverage that will prove that the mom and son can't touch him."

"We tried that already." Tyler was exasperated.

"We got video footage of the Pastor's deviant kink habit." Juice added, thinking of the disturbing clip currently on both his hard drive and laptop. "Him in full slave mode taking it up the ass by underage boys."

Tyler's eyes almost popped out his head. "Oh nice-"

He was cut off by Montez slamming the door open. "Bitch hit me in the head with a tire iron. Took off." He panted while holding his forehead.

The guys all jumped up and ran to their bikes to chase after him, leaving Tyler with his orders to set the meet.

Juice floored it after the guys, bringing up the rear after helping Montez sit down he was the last to his bike. He caught up just as Happy pulled alongside the Jeep. The pastor's son swerved and Happy ended up laying down his bike.

The others continued ahead but Juice skidded to a stop to make sure Hap was ok.

"I'm fine, fucking asshole made me lay down my bike." He sounded almost amused as Juice helped him pick his bike back up. After making sure it was ok they took off after the group, finding them pulled up a few minutes ahead.

Jax had the son by his shoulders as Happy approached. "Boss?" Jax moved out the way as permission and Happy swung, knocking the boy's head to the side. "Next time a put a bullet in your head." He shoved him.

Juice pulled Happy back and after a couple of minutes they made their way back to the cabin. At least it wasn't my bike for a change Juice thought.

xxx xxx

The guys waited at the meet for Marks, the noice of the oil pumps in the background reminding them they were far outta town.

Marks eventually pulled up in his gangsta looking caddy, with a blacked out follow car. The juxtaposition of them with the redneck surroundings was laughable to Juice.

Marks wasn't happy that the Sons had gone behind his back.

"See Mr. Teller made the mistake of letting personal matters tarnish his business." Marks finished.

"That's what happens when your wife is attacked in your own home and your sister is kidnapped and raped." Jax spat.

"Still. You should have come to me about Lin. You knew how much was at stake when you killed him."

Juice stepped forward then. "I killed him." He squared up to Marks. "Because he raped my Old Lady and sent us the footage. He's lucky a bullet was all he got."

Marks smirked and shook his head, calling off the advancing goons. "You should have waited." He reiterated. "You should have come to me."

Happy pulled Juice back and Marks continued his showdown with Jax and Chibs.

"You would have told me to wait and then watched me like a hawk. We had no choice." Jax gestured to Juice.

"You had a choice." Marks retorted.

"You don't have family, August. You can never understand." Jax spat.

"I'm sorry you feel betrayed." Chibs cut in. "This had to happen."

"Look where we are. Is this what you wanted?" Marks directed at Jax. "Piles of bodies. Relationships destroyed. And the guy you were after? His business is still running."

"We're not done yet." Chibs said.

"Yeah that's clear. Now you're going after me. Using innocent people to frame me for a murder I didn't commit."

"I don't think you're allowed to claim them as innocents." Chibs spat back at Marks. "You threaten them, you exploit their church, and now you're trying to destroy everything they love."

"You kill the pastor?" Marks asked Chibs.

"We found him in the projects. When we were tracking down that East Dub OG that offed the Bastards. I'm guessing his freak show friends got him. He was cut up pretty bad." Chibs informed him.

"Excuse me sir? We should move this along." Moses interjected, earning glares from the Sons present.

Jax had Juice show Marks the footage and they discussed the leverage, lying a little about the whereabouts of the son and wife before setting a meet for the afternoon.

Juice thanked God he wasn't sent with Tig and Happy to dig up spare body parts in Chigger Woods. Instead he went with Jax, Chibs, and Quinn. At least they weren't sick fucks when it came to this kind of thing.

However now Juice found himself setting up the decoy phone while Tig and Happy sewed together the 'pastor's body' next door on the table.

After he'd finished with the phone Juice made a quick stop in to see Roxy. They were getting ready to leave soon, hopefully to get Bobby, and his heart was in his chest.

"You off?" Roxy asked as he stepped into his dorm room.

"Yeah babe."

She got up and made her way over to him. "Do we get to go home after? I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow I need to get to."

"What appointment?" Juice asked, confused and worried once again.

"Just a check up with my OBGYN. He wants to see how things are going, I was going to ask him more about IVF and stuff if you wanna come?"

"Maybe." Juice hummed. He pulled her in for a kiss, letting his lips pull at hers before slipping his tongue against them. Roxy gasped as he squeezed her ass and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue into her mouth. Just as he was getting ready to push her onto the bed Quinn banged on his door telling him they were going.

"Shit." He panted. "I gotta go. But we'll finish this later." He smirked as Roxy's hand fell from his crotch.

"Ok. Be careful." She smiled at him.

"Always babe." A quick kiss and then he was off again, leaving Roxy with Tara, Harley, and Lyla once more.

xxx xxx

Quinn drove the van to the meet while Chibs, Jax, Tig, Happy, and Juice escorted on their bikes. As they pulled in and cut their engines the tension was palpable.

The guys were anxious to have Bobby back and the sooner they pulled this off the better. Tara was on standby to meet them at St. Thomas, knowing there's nothing she'd be able to do for Bobby at the clubhouse. He was going to need serious medical attention after this.

"How about we settle this just me an you. No weapons. No army." Chibs stepped up as President.

"Fair enough. Just the things we are trading. Everyone else drives away." Marks granted.

Quinn pulled the van around and Juice, Tig, and Happy helped unload the body and the pastor's son. They weren't trading him but Marks had wanted words with him.

They all breathed a collective sigh of relief when Bobby was pulled out from Marks' follow car, he looked like shit but he was alive.

Marks had Bobby kneel down while Moses searched Chibs and Happy searched Marks. When it was agreed they both had no weapons the other left. Juice's stomach dropped as they pulled away from Chibs and Bobby. He didn't have a good feeling about this. They watched on from just down the track, but couldn't hear anything being said.

A few moments later, just after Bobby was passed over to Chibs, Marks grabbed a gun from Bobby and shot Bobby in the head.

"No!" They all yelled. The guys all ran to their bikes and jumped on, racing down to where Chibs cradled Bobby's lifeless body.

Marks pulled off in the other direction as the guys slid their bikes to a stop next to Chibs, Quinn flying down in the van next to them.

They all stood, crowded round Chibs as they realised Bobby was clearly dead. Juice looked round at his brothers, everything silent in his head, as they came to terms with the loss of their brother. Juice had no idea what to think right now. This was on him. He and Jax. Jax started the revenge on Lin and Juice finished it. Now as a result of that Bobby was dead.

Before he could dwell on it any longer Chibs called for them to move Bobby to the van. They had to get him away from here. Juice helped Happy, Quinn, and Tig move Bobby's body while Jax consoled Chibs.

Juice was even more stunned as Happy cried along with the rest of them. Like proper tears, he'd never seen Happy show any kind of emotion before aside from horny, pissed, and 'rapturous' as Happy put it. This just solidified Juice's feeling of anxiety.

"Call the clubhouse. Have Rat and SAMTAC bring the girls up to the cabin. They'd want to be there." Chibs ordered Juice.

Juice nodded and pulled out his phone, glad when Rat answered straight away. He gave his order and moved over to his bike to leave. Relieved that Roxy would be there at the cabin. He needed her now more than ever.

xxx xxx

Rat drove the girls up in Roxy's Jeep while Tara followed with the boys with a SAMTAC patch driving. They had a couple of SAMTAC escorts too, which Roxy thought was over the top. But whatever the guys said was needed she'd deal with.

When they got to the cabin the guys' bikes and the van were already parked up down the side of the cabin and Jax was waiting on the porch to usher them in.

Roxy, Harley, and Lyla took the empty sofa for themselves , and while Montez took Abel and Thomas to one of the bedrooms Tara stood with Jax.

Roxy tried catching Juice's eye, something was wrong and he was being deliberately evasive. Happy doing a similar thing to Harley.

"What's wrong Chibs?" Roxy bit the bullet and directed her question to the president, knowing the others wouldn't say anything without his OK.

Chibs took a ragged breath, willing himself not to break down as he spoke. "Bobby's dead." He said simply.

Roxy and Harley turned to each other and hugged as the news sunk in. The others knew that out of all the women those two would take his passing the worst. They'd known him since they were babies. He'd baked their birthday cakes and sang them songs when they were sad or hurt. He always knew how to get Roxy out of a funk and gave her pep talks when needed. And now he was dead. Lyla rubbed Roxy's back as she clung on to Harley, the guys shifting uncomfortably while the girls cried. They all wanted to do the same thing, but they couldn't. Roxy wanted to go hug Juice and comfort him but she knew she couldn't. Not until they were behind closed doors. That's when the men took comfort in their Old Ladies.

Eventually Roxy and Harley pulled apart and wiped their tears, both seeking out the eyes of their men. Chibs called Rat and Quinn forward and had them go dig Bobby a spot to be buried. Happy and Juice came over to their girls as the others moved off for some quiet time, Tara and Jax heading for the spare bedroom to be with their boys.

Happy knew now he was ready, he was ready to have someone in his life again. Losing Bobby had pushed him over the edge and he figured that could be him any moment, he used to always want to keep himself single then he'd inevitably die in some gun fight and be reunited with Ariana. But now he realised he had, hopefully, a long time left on this earth and if that was the case he wanted to make the most of it.

Juice pulled Roxy by the hand, out the room and down the track to the clearing they'd used the other day. He wanted this to be private and he knew he couldn't grieve properly with the others around.

When they made it to the spot he sat down against a tree on the edge of the clearing, bringing Roxy down with him.

"I'm so sorry baby." The words left her mouth before her ass even hit the floor. She wrapped her arms around him, clinging desperately to him, not wanting the news to be true.

Juice let some tears escape. "We saw him. We were right there. Then when Marks asked us to leave him and Chibs he shot Bobby. Right in front of Chibs." Juice didn't make much sense as the tears took over and he replayed the horror in his mind.

"Well then he didn't die alone. He died knowing the club had done everything to get him back." Roxy did take some comfort in that. When she was sitting in that cold warehouse she knew the guys would be doing everything in their power to save her. And it made her feel safe, loved, she'd have died feeling loved.

"But it wasn't enough. We didn't get him home." Juice sobbed again.

Roxy cried with him for what seemed like an eternity and after a while they were cried out.

"I love you so much." She straddled his lap, wanting to be as close as possible to him right now, pushing a kiss against his soft, salty lips.

"I love you too." Juice mumbled back as he kissed her back.

"Please don't leave me..." Roxy breathed as her forehead leant against his.

"I'm never gunna leave you baby. You're my everything." He whispered before pulling her back down for a kiss, letting his hands slide down her back. "I know I've fucked up so many times but I love you, I'm never letting you go. You're all I think about." He affirmed between kisses.

Roxy couldn't help but grind against him as their kisses grew in heat. She knew it was terrible to be feeling turned on in a time like this but when shit like this happened in the club life it just reaffirmed everything, made you desperate with feelings. "I'm never leaving you." She gasped against his lips before trailing her kisses down his jaw to his neck.

"Marry me." He demanded as she sucked his neck.

"I already said yes." She nipped his ear lob.

"I mean marry me now. Tomorrow, next week, I don't care. Just as soon as possible." He said urgently.

Roxy stopped in her tracks and pulled back from him, she cupped his face in her hands and stared down into his deep brown eyes. Juice watched the spark grow behind her bright blue eyes.

"Yes. Let's do it!" She let out an excited giggle.

Before they could celebrate further they heard Chibs calling for them to come back. And just as quickly as their excited bubble inflated it popped. Now they had to go bury Bobby.


	110. Chapter 110

**A/N: thanks so much for the reviews AngR, Lennon, and otte1978 its so good to hear your thoughts as usual!**

 **Here's the next chapter with the next to follow either tonight or tomorrow night :) enjoy!!**

 **And please review as always! It keeps me motivated now I'm back at work. I like hearing what you think. Otherwise I think of this as the ramblings of a crazy person. It's nice to be validated haha**

What was left of SAMCRO gathered around Bobby as he lay in state on the picnic table. Roxy and Juice, hand in hand, approached the group. Juice stood stiffly with his brothers as Roxy and Harley approached Bobby.

Roxy stifled a gasp when she saw Bobby's bloodied face, there was a filthy blood covered bandage covering his eye and the bullet wound in his head was neat but clearly visible.

"I'm so sorry Bobby." Roxy croaked as tears ran down her face. She bent down, brushing a few strands of matted hair off his face, before dropping a kiss on his forehead, lingering for a second as she said a prayer. "I love you. Thank you for everything you've done for me. I don't think I'd be the person I am today without your wise words."

Harley moved next, dropping a kiss to the same spot and echoing Roxy's words before they moved back to their boys. Roxy and Harley stood in front of Juice and Happy, watching as everyone else said their goodbyes.

Eventually the time came and they had to move Bobby to his final resting place. Juice, Happy, Tig, Quinn, Rat, and Jax stepped forward and lifted Bobby as gracefully as they could to the floor. Then, as Chibs said a blessing, they slowly and carefully moved him into the grave. Juice and Happy jumped out of the hole and resumed their positions behind their girls and watched in silence as Rat and Quinn filled the hole in. When it was full Chibs broke away and moved to his bike, beckoning Quinn to follow.

"We got shit to sort. Everyone else, go home. Be with your families." He turned and mounted his bike and Quinn followed suit.

Everyone else broke away leaving Roxy and Juice behind, still staring at the fresh mound of dirt, no sound other than the crickets chirping in the forest.

"We should go." Juice said, squeezing Roxy's shoulders.

Roxy turned around and pulled him down for a kiss. "Let's go home."

They moved to his bike and mounted up just as Happy and Harley, Tig, and Rat did the same. Jax and Tara were staying with Montez at the cabin, as Abel and Thomas were already sleeping.

The small convoy took off towards Charming and the only thing Roxy could think while the wind whipped her face was how relieved she was that it was Bobby in the hole and not Juice. This time.

xxx xxx

Juice locked the door, finally back in their home for the first time in days. Roxy moved in front of him, turning on lights and making her way to the bedroom. Juice flicked the lights off as he followed after her, to be met by a pile of her dirty clothes on their bed as Roxy stood in the ensuite waiting for the shower to heat up. Juice followed her into the shower after dropping his clothes on the armchair in the corner of their room. He needed to get clean. He felt like he had Bobby's blood on his hands, both figuratively and literally.

He knew that the blame for all this lay with Gemma and Jax for starting all the shot with Lin in the first place. However Juice was the one that finally put an end to it. An end that Marks took out on Bobby. He could still feel the dirt on his skin and the touch of Bobby's cold, rubbery skin. Then he thought of Precious and the girls. He'd spent a lot of time with Precious back when he was dating Sarah. Precious was a crazy bitch who hated Bobby. But still she was the crazy bitch that had two kids by the guy, now she definitely wouldn't be getting her child support and the kids wouldn't be seeing their dad ever again.

"You just gunna stand there all night?" Roxy questioned from the shower.

Juice shook himself out of it and opened the door to the shower cubicle. Standing in the rectangular, glass box, he was immediately covered in the warm embrace of clouds of steam and then Roxy's soft hands.

Roxy massaged some soap into Juice's skin as she slowly worked the knots out of his back and shoulders. Before long Juice couldn't take it any more and spun around to face her. Before she had a chance to say anything he crashed his lips onto hers, pushing her against the wall of the shower while his hands ran down her arms before coming to rest on her sides. Roxy pulled him closer by the neck with one hand while the other slipped between them to grasp at his erection. She slowly pumped him as he worked her chest with his mouth and after a few brief minutes Juice couldn't take it any longer, he lifted Roxy and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

Roxy's back slid up and down the tiles as Juice thrust into her at a steady pace. Their love making was urgent, passionate, and punctuated with moans and kisses and declarations of love.

Before long Roxy came, throwing her head onto Juice's shoulder as she rode out her high, Juice following moments later. He slowly let her legs slide down to the floor and pushed some wet hair behind her ear from where it had been stuck against her forehead.

"I love you." He whispered, forehead pressed to hers.

"Mmm. You too." She murmured before kissing him once more and moving around so she was under the stream of water.

Juice helped her wash her hair and just as the hot water ran out they finished up. Juice wrapped a towel around his waist before he held out a towel for Roxy and she stepped into it. He wrapped it round her and pulled her against his chest for a moment before he pulled back again and made his way to get changed for bed.

After snuggling down together Juice decided to speak. "So, wanna be Mrs. Ortiz next week?"

Roxy grinned at him in the dark. "I wanna be Mrs. Ortiz for the rest of my life."

xxx xxx

Happy brought Harley back to the clubhouse and into his room. They hadn't spoken the whole ride back to Charming, the only communication coming in the form of touches while riding the bike. Harley squeezing his waist, stroking his thighs, kissing his back, while Happy squeezed her thigh or rested his hand over hers, stroking her thumb while he rode.

Happy sat on his bed after taking off his kutte and boots leaving Harley to pile her things neatly on his dresser. She sat next to him and waited for him to speak.

"I'm sorry for the last couple days, don't really know what to do in this situation. I kinda ran away."

Harley turned to him and kissed him softly on his cheek. "It doesn't matter. You told me the truth behind it and I appreciate that Hap. Thank you for sharing that with me. Helps me understand you a bit better now." They sat quietly for a beat. "So, do you see this going somewhere? Or shall we call it quits in the morning? I get it if that's what you need."

Happy shook his head. "Nah, I've been grieving that loss too long." He shrugged. "She'd want me to be happy."

Harley smirked. "Well it is your namesake after all." He scowled at her. "But we do this on your terms. I'm in no rush for titles and shit like that. I just need to know I matter." She smiled as he turned his gaze to her.

"Yeah, you matter." He pulled her in for a kiss, forgetting everything he'd shed tears over recently. Ariana, his baby, his sick Ma, Bobby, everything. From now on he was going to try make this whole _happy_ thing work.

xxx xxx

The peace they'd found in each other last night didn't really last until the morning and Roxy and Juice woke up with the dark cloud of Bobby's death weighing heavily on their minds. Neither knowing how it would affect the club and their future. But right now Roxy had other parts of their future to worry about.

"Shit I gotta get going to St. Thomas." She grumbled and hopped out of bed ready for a shower.

"Why?" Juice looked slightly panicked as he watched her get some clothes together.

"I have my OBGYN appointment at 9am." She grabbed a blue sundress and some underwear and brought it over to the ensuite.

"Shit I forgot. I'll come with." Juice threw the covers back and got up to get himself ready.

"You don't have to come babe. Not today. I'll get the info and tell you later."

"No I want to be there."

They hurried and made it to St. Thomas just in time for her appointment.

"Just wait out here till after my exam then I'll get you so we can talk to Dr. Baker." Roxy ordered as the nurse came down the corridor for him.

"I don't mind coming in." He moved to stand with her.

Roxy made a disapproving noise. "Best not." She shifted uncomfortably. "It's a bit private. Don't think you wanna be in there for that."

"Oh." Juice looked slightly uncomfortable. "Ok I'll wait."

Roxy breathed a sigh of relief as he settled back down. The internal ultrasounds weren't the most pleasant and she didn't really want Juice in on that. So she followed the nurse back to the exam room alone.

"Just take your underwear off and settle in, Dr. Baker will through in a moment." The nurse informed her.

Roxy nodded and quickly made herself comfortable on the bed, the disposable cover crinkling underneath her as she situated herself.

Dr. Baker was through a few moments later, knocking quietly before entering.

"So Ms. Morrow, how are things?" He asked with a smile as he set his ultrasound up.

Roxy shrugged. "Could be better."

He nodded and proceeded to get the internal probe ready. "I know it's slightly uncomfortable but we'll get this over with quickly. See how things are going and then you want to discuss IVF yes?" Roxy have a confirming nod. "Excellent. I think it will be the option with the most success for you. Gives us more control and chance of an embryo implanting."

"Is it ok if my fiancé comes in to talk about that with us?"

"Of course." He smiled. "For now though," he passed her the probe. "If you can put this in I'll see what's going on."

Roxy was always uncomfortable with this part but she knew the drill. It was much nicer doing it herself than have him rummaging around down there.

The doctor pressed a few buttons and took control of the wand over from Roxy and shifted it slightly to get the best image. He looked at the screen, moving the wand slightly and clicked on a few buttons. Roxy watched as the grey images moved slightly on the screen, not really knowing what he was looking at as he made some interested sounds.

"Well that's interesting." He commented with a click of his tongue.

"What is?" Roxy asked nervously.

He turned the screen to her slightly and pointed at a little white dot on the screen. It looked slightly like a grain of rice and there was a tiny black flash in the middle of it, blinking every second or so.

"It appears we won't be needing the IVF after all." He smiled brightly down at Roxy.

xxx xxx

Juice was playing on his phone, foot tapping anxiously as he waited for Roxy to be done. He'd wanted to go in with her but she'd seemed very uncomfortable with the idea so he dropped it and let her go. Chibs had called just as she went in asking where he was and he'd explained and said he'd be at the clubhouse soon. Chibs didn't mind, knowing the couple really wanted to get a move on with the baby making.

"Mr. Ortiz?" Juice's head snapped up as the nurse came scurrying down the corridor towards him. "The doctor needs you." She seemed in a hurry so Juice jumped to his feet, shoving his phone in his pocket as he jogged down the corridor to the room she was pointing at.

Juice opened the door to find Roxy crying on the bed as the doctor had his hand between her legs. Both were looking at the screen as Roxy sobbed. Juice almost put his fist through the doctor's skull, thinking he was doing something to upset Roxy. Why the fuck did he have his hand, literally, in his Old Lady's pants?

Roxy saw him standing by the door angrily when she heard him slam the door behind him.

"What's going on?" He demanded, ready to pounce.

"Come here and see this." She urged him, holding her hand out to him.

Against every instinct Juice ignored the doctor and sat down next to her, holding her hand in his and not taking his eyes from her face.

"What is it?" He demanded again.

"Look," she whispered, pointing to the screen, "I'm pregnant."

xxx xxx

Juice couldn't believe it as he walked Roxy out to his bike. Roxy was practically skipping alongside him, staring at the little white smudge on the ultrasound printout in her hands, the biggest smile on her face as she oohed and aaahed over the piece of paper.

They were six weeks pregnant. Their holiday in San Bernadino had done the trick and Roxy was carrying their second child.

"I still can't believe it." She sighed as they stopped in front of his bike.

"Me either baby." He grinned at her. The doctor had said Roxy had been ovulating during their trip, they counted back from her last period and that meant she was officially 6 weeks pregnant and the heart had started beating and everything.

"We can't tell anyone else yet. Not for a few more weeks. 12 weeks is the safe mark and after what happened before and this being high risk..." She let the sentence fall. Despite their elation with the news the doctor did have to bring them crashing back to reality. With the previous pregnancy scarring her womb and her heart condition things could be touch and go for a while.

"Hey," Juice cupped her face and pulled her attention to him, "this is gunna be good baby. It's meant to be. Hell, we found out on the morning after Bobby died. This is the good news we need."

Roxy nodded and smiled. "I love you so much."

"I know." He smirked.

"C'mon then. Let's go."

Juice wanted to savour riding on his bike with her for the last time. The doctor had warned it would be safer going in a cage from now on, more protection if something went wrong. Juice had scoffed, the protection not saving her or the baby the last time.

Roxy knew it would be her last time on Juice's bike for some time and so during the short drive to the clubhouse she squeezed him tighter, enjoying the closeness riding bitch gave. It was also the feeling of protection and claim that she liked too. Riding bitch into the clubhouse lot was a sign to everyone that you were the member's woman and it just made her feel special.

As soon as they pulled into the clubhouse Juice was told to hop back on his bike. They were off to meet Leland again. _Fucking white supremacists_. Juice thought. He kissed Roxy goodbye before joining the rest of the guys in pulling out of the lot.

They got to the meet spot to talk to Leland about the Chinese drugs they still had. They needed to tie up this loose end so they could finish off the deals that came as part of taking out Lin and attempting to end the Triads.

Juice and Happy stood strong in the group, not giving credit to the hateful looks the AB guys threw their way. But when one of them stepped up to Tig calling him a tranny humper shit got real, fast.

"What did you say?" Tig snarked.

"What man? You think people don't know you suck dick?" The AB muscle called out. Tig just smiled a cold, unamused smile. "Badass outlaw likes to ride bitch to some T-girl."

Juice felt Happy tense beside him as Chibs stopped Tig from advancing.

"Not the time brother. Not the time." Chibs ordered.

It was the first time anyone had really called Tig out on his new connection with Venus. The club had ignored it, if Tig was happy then whatever. They didn't need to know the details. But now his masculinity had been called into question in front of his brothers. The club's masculinity. And Tig wasn't going to let it drop that easy. Juice kept his hand near his gun holster, just incase.

"I'm ok with the time." The AB head stated.

"Oh, he's ok with the time." Chibs joked to Tig while slapping him on the shoulder.

"Hey, mule head. I think you owe me an apology." Tig stalked over to the AB who'd called him out, the club following behind him. This was the first time they'd shown their support of it and looking around at his brothers, Juice realised they all supported Tig.

"Are you kidding me?" He stood up. "If you were in this crew you'd get your dick shot off you ass raping freak."

Tig didn't even hesitate, he pulled his gun out and literally shot the guy in the dick before anyone else registered it. "Like that?" He called out while the guy fell to the floor screaming.

Everyone pulled out their guns then as Chibs tried to diffuse the situation. Chibs and the AB head managed to convince everyone to drop, but just as they lowered their weapons on of the AB brought his back up and aimed it at Chibs. Jax was quickest and took him out, which luckily didn't backfire on the club with the AB head agreeing with the action.

Then the guy bleeding out through his crotch decided to get smart with them and tell them that Leland wasn't at the meet as he was in Charming getting ready to kill Eglee. Juice had forgotten about her being caught in the cross fire and lying up in the hospital recovering.

"Shit." Chibs breathed out. "Finish this." He gestured to Tig before walking over to his bike, phone in hand.

Tig fired three more rounds in the fucker's chest to match the one in his crotch before they all joined him in following Chibs to the bikes. It was official now that Tig had the club's approval when it came to Venus.

"Juice I need you to break off in Lodi to meet with the Bastards as planned. The rest of us are off to St. Thomas. Let's go!" He ordered.

Juice forgot he had to help the Bastards in tracking stuff down and sighed as he got on his bike. He'd planned on going back to Roxy and celebrating their impending parenthood. He still hadn't come to terms with the new development and he wanted some time with her to wrap their heads around the good news.

"Want me to come with?" Happy's gravelly voice beside him pulled him back to reality.

"Nah it's all good. I'll have the Bastards ride me back if I need."

"Ok brotha." Happy nodded as he saddled up and they took off as fast as possible from the scumbags.

xxx xxx

Roxy was still tired and completely shocked with the news and decided she wanted to go home for a rest now that Juice was going to be out all day. Tara had stopped by the clubhouse on her way back from the cabin and offered to drive Roxy home, thankfully.

They commiserated Bobby's loss on the short drive over but Roxy's mind was elsewhere. Glancing at Thomas in the back seat she suddenly felt the thrill of their new arrival, but the fear it would be snatched from her again at the last minute.

"You ok Roxy?" Tara asked, the look on her face showing Roxy it wasn't the first time she'd asked. They were already parked up in Roxy's driveway and she hadn't even noticed.

"Yeah I'm fine. Just tired and then the whole thing with Bobby..."

Tara nodded. "It's ok. Get some sleep." She smiled softly and they hugged over the centre console of the car before Roxy took her leave.

After locking the door and putting her purse down, Roxy made her way down to the half finished nursery. She'd barely stepped foot in the room in the last 18months. Since losing Gabriel she couldn't find the courage to go in and pack things away or touch anything that reminded her of the little boy she lost.

Opening the door to the room she could smell the dust in the still air. Everything looked the same way it had the last time she'd peeked in here. Except for the little angel plaque that seemed to be sitting on the dresser. She hadn't seen that before.

Walking over to the dresser she lifted the glass plate to have a look at the Angel that had been crafted onto the top of the glass love heart. The Angel was made out of metal, delicately twisted together in the shape of an angel with a golden wire halo. On the plaque, etched into the glass was a little prayer about being a guardian angel followed by Gabriel's name and due date. Roxy felt a tear roll down her cheek at Juice's gesture. She didn't know when he'd got it or why but it meant so much to her that he'd been so sweet. It would sit pride of place in the baby's room, reminding them all of the new baby's guardian angel.

xxx xxx

Juice was done with the Bastards having found the information they needed. The guys were going to escort him back to Charming, which he was thankful for given the current outlaw climate in San Joa.

They were just outside the Bastards' clubhouse mounting up when three black vans and a blacked out SUV surrounded them. The guys drew their weapons but the intruders were quicker and bigger guns. Juice gulped when he realised these were Marks' men, having recognised Moses and one of the others from the meet yesterday.

Moses had them disarm and his guys moved in on TO, but when he caught sight of Juice he smirked. "The Son too." This was too perfect thought Moses.

Juice was slammed against the wall alongside TO and frisked before being relieved of his weapons. Then he and TO were taken at gunpoint, shackled, and shoved into one of the vans. They could hear the shouts of the Bastards as the doors were closed on them before three short gunshots rang out in the metal of the van. TO strained against his restraints, wanting to know who of his brothers was injured, but it was no use.

Juice could feel the panic surfacing, the adrenalin having brought it on, but he fought to keep his head above the water. Panicked people made rash decisions and he couldn't risk it.

Not now he was to finally be a father.

xxx xxx

The van pulled up in a warehouse, much like the one that housed Roxy those few short months ago, and the guys were dragged out of the van and taken into a small dark and dank room where two chairs sat. Juice noticed the surroundings were familiar, from the video of Bobby. Then he noticed the smell of stale blood and the large patch of it on the floor where they must have cut his fingers off.

Juice groaned internally hoping he met a far quicker end. He also hoped no videos were sent back. He didn't want Roxy to see that shit, he knew how much it hurt watching through a screen as your other half was tortured.

Juice kept his head on straight, a deadly look in his eyes as they were tied to the two chairs, TO keeping up the same charade. They knew how to play this game.

Juice had managed to stave off the panic and instead the adrenalin turned into hate and anger, leaving him deadly calm. It was like his fight or flight instinct had kicked in in a calm fashion.

After they were tied they were left in peace, the metal door creaking shit before they heard a bolt go through the lock. There was little light in the room, the only dull slivers were coming through the cracks around the door. But the guys didn't need light to tell them how fucked they were. They both attempted to loosen their restraints but there was no use. So after a moment or two they stopped wriggling. Neither saying anything for several minutes.

Juice eventually broke the silence with a chuckle. TO turned to him, wondering if he'd gone mad.

"What?" TO grunted.

Juice snorted derisively. "Found out I was gunna be a dad today. Old Lady lost our baby at 18 weeks while I was in Stockton. Got told she wouldn't have another. But today we got told otherwise. Just my luck I end up here."

TO made a disapproving sound. "We'll figure it out."

Juice shrugged. "Maybe." He didn't want to tell TO about Bobby and his blood staining the floor under their feet.


	111. Chapter 111

**A/N: thanks for the reviews and the new followers and favouriters. I'd love to hear what more of you think!**

 **Thanks as always to AngR, Lennon, and Otte for your thoughts!**

 **This week first week back at work and has been hectic. But managed to eventually finish this chapter! Enjoy!**

Juice didn't know how long they'd been sitting in the room, maybe an hour, he couldn't really tell. Since his confession to TO neither of them had spoken any more. There wasn't really much to say. They heard movement in the corridor outside their room and the door creaked open to reveal Moses and his cronies.

They stepped into the small space, crowding Juice and TO on the chairs. Both men noticed Tyler standing out in the corridor, he caught both their eyes with a confident look and Juice knew he was playing double agent, but wondered who his loyalties lay with for real.

"Now you saw what happened to Bobby." Moses began. "I carved out his eye. Cut his fingers off. That's what will happen if you don't cooperate. So why don't we save ourselves the agony and time?" Moses calmly stated. Juice and TO looked at each other before back at Moses. Neither saying a word. "Where is SAMCRO hiding the Pastor's son and wife?"

Juice and TO looked at each other again before silently turning back to Moses. Juice was thankful for TO's calming presence, he'd be loyal to the club till the day he died but he knew he wouldn't take what happened next so well had he been on his own.

When they said nothing Moses nodded to his muscle. The two men stepped forward, one in front of Juice and one in front of TO. Juice braced himself for the incoming beat down, feeling worse knowing he was completely defenceless with his hands tied behind his back.

The blows to his face just kept on coming. He felt his cheek split open, his eye beginning to swell almost immediately, his nose crunch as if broken, and the metallic taste of blood as his teeth split his cheeks. He started feeling like he'd black out as the tenth blow landed on his temple but he swung back to reality with the sucker punch to the gut winding him unexpectedly.

Moses left them spitting out blood and they caught Tyler's eye once more before the door was shut on them, throwing them in darkness once more.

"Holy shit." Juice breathed as they heard the footsteps die away.

TO spat some more blood out onto the floor and grunted in agreement. "I need a fucking joint man." TO whined.

Juice chuckled. "Need more than a fucking joint right now." He grimaced in pain as the chuckle and the smile it caused on his face pulled at his split cheek. "Hope the guys fucking find us soon. One more punch and I'd have been fucking out cold."

"He'll get us out." TO assured, alluding to Tyler's presence.

"I sure as fuck hope so." Juice mumbled, allowing the spit to gather in his mouth before spitting it between his knees, not liking the feeling of the thick, bloody saliva hanging from his mouth. At least none of his teeth had come out, he prided himself on his panty dropping grin and he knew Roxy loved it too.

 _Fucking Roxy. My one ray of sunshine. I cannot leave her on her fucking own with this baby. Not an option._

Juice thought through their discussion the day before Bobby's death. The one about them knowing the other one was there for them in the event of something like this happening. He smirked to himself, it's like she could read the fucking future. But thoughts of her helped him keep his shit together. Knowing she loved him unconditionally and would be making sure the club looked for him gave him comfort.

xxx xxx

Another chunk of time passed before Moses joined them again. Juice had almost fallen asleep, knowing it was a concussion making him drowsy he made the effort to talk to TO to ward off the effects but then he wondered if he'd have been better off unconscious for whatever Moses had in mind next. Luckily they had a plan.

Moses sat on the chair next to them and held out his hand, one of his goons handing him a little spoon with a serrated edge.

"A grapefruit spoon." He twirled the spoon between his fingers. "Turns out to be the perfect little tool for cutting out an eye. Who goes first?"

The boys caught Tyler's gaze and nod as he appeared in the doorway behind the two goons.

Juice and TO looked at each other before TO started talking. "I can't let this psycho take my goddamn eye." His voice was rough as he spoke, Juice eyeing him with a look of fake disgust. "I know where they got the wife and kid. It's a ... cabin. Probably gunna have the whole charter there."

"Shit." Juice huffed out.

"Where is it?" Moses demanded.

"I'll write it down." TO played along.

"Get him a pen and paper." Moses ordered, and one of the two goons made their way out the room. Moses stood and walked over to TO as his hands were unbound. "I gotta say. I'm really disappointed a brother was the first one to cave." He joked.

"Moses? He give it up?" Tyler asked from the door.

"Yeah."

"So we good right?"

"I'll let you know when we get there." And with that Moses was gone again.

xxx xxx

Roxy woke up from her nap to a pounding on her front door. She grumbled and threw the covers off as she grabbed her gun from her bedside drawer. She quickly threw a gray SAMCRO sweatshirt on over her sports bra and yoga pants combo before running down the hallway to the front door. She looked through the peephole to see Happy and sighed, putting the safety on her gun before opening up to let him in.

"Trying to give a girl a heart attack?" She growled at him.

"Get your shit." Was all he said as he stood in her door frame.

"Why?" She folded her arms over her chest.

"Later. Just get your ass on my bike."

Roxy knew the look on his face meant mega shit had gone down. "Where's Juice?" She panicked.

"Just get your stuff." He grumbled, he knew she'd flip her shit when she found out and he wasn't really in the mood to deal with crying bitches. Harley or Jax or someone else that wasn't him could break it to her.

Roxy nodded slowly before running to her room to grab her phone and purse. She shot a quick message to Juice before jogging back up to Happy and slamming her feet into her white and gold Nikes.

 _Happy's here to get me. Please tell me you're ok! Xxx -_ R

She locked the door and followed Happy over to his bike, not missing the pity in his eyes as he checked her helmet before waiting for her to climb on the bike.

Riding with Happy was much different to Juice. She'd started off by sitting on the bike loosely but was soon almost thrown off and she clung to Happy, earning a chuckle from him. Juice was a reckless rider, he rode fast, faster than most of the others if he could get away with it. His bike has been modified beyond belief, to make it quicker. However he was a controlled rider, he didn't play fast and loose, unlike Happy.

Juice was a controlled person, his OCD seeping into every aspect of his life. Roxy knew Happy was a psycho, to put it mildly, and it showed in his riding. He was almost as fast as Juice but he took corners wide and lazy. Happy was always in control of his bike though, he was a damn good rider. It just didn't feel like that to whoever rode bitch.

Thankfully they arrived at the clubhouse before Roxy had a heart attack and she happily hopped off as soon as he cut the engine. Roxy almost ran into the clubhouse, half expecting to see Juice laid out on the pool table or in the chapel, either dead or seriously injured. So initially when she didn't see him immediately she breathed a sigh of relief. This meant he was ok... Right?

Then the hum of activity and the look on people's faces when they saw her told her that not seeing him wasn't good news.

"Where is he?" She demanded as she strode over to Chibs.

"We don't know." He admitted in defeat.

"What do you mean you don't know? He's not a fucking puppy you lost at the park. Where is he?" She surged forward.

Chibs groaned, he knew he'd have to explain as soon as she got here but he still was not prepared. "The same guys that got Bobby have him and TO, from the Grim Bastards." He admitted after a moment.

Tears immediately sprung to Roxy's eyes as she pieced it together. _He wouldn't be coming home. These guys killed Bobby. They'll cut him up like they did him. Then they'll kill him._

 _I'm going to be a single mum._

 _He's not going to meet his baby._

Roxy dropped her purse to the floor and started punching Chibs' kutte as hard as she could. "You get him back!" She yelled and sobbed as she pounded him.

Everyone was stunned with her outburst. It wasn't like Roxy to be quite so emotional, but she'd had an emotional day.

Tig strode over with Venus and helped pull her off Chibs, Roxy thrashing at them as they did.

"Roxy its gunna be ok baby girl." Tig soothed as he had her arms pinned to her side in a bear hug.

"No, it's not." She sobbed. "I'm pregnant and he's not going to be there. You saw what they did to Bobby."

Tig's blood ran cold with her admission. She'd looked forward to this forever and now they finally had their happy ending and it was being taken from her once again.

"Oh baby." Tig stroked her hair while she sobbed into his kutte. He looked pleadingly at Venus who nodded and stepped forward.

"Come with me sweetheart." She soothed as she pulled Roxy from Tig. "Let these men get to finding your boy."

Roxy just nodded weakly and followed Venus back to the dorms. Venus was going to take her into Tig's room but Roxy wanted to be in Juice's right now, so she tugged Venus a couple doors further down the corridor.

Roxy unlocked the door and surveyed the room in front of her. It was too newly built to have Juice's stamp on it. The few things he'd brought over from their house were sitting in their specific spots but it wasn't enough to look lived in.

Roxy trudged over to the bed and threw herself down on the sheets, he fingertips trailing absentmindedly on her stomach as the news sunk in. She felt like she was going into shock, unable to process what this all meant. She'd only been lying on this bed with Juice a couple days ago discussing how much they loved each other and to think about that if one of them was taken. She hoped he was thinking of her now. She just wished he could feel how much she loved him, needed him here with her.

Venus sat gingerly on the edge of the bed with her. "Do you need anything sweetheart?" She asked as she patted Roxy's hand.

Roxy sighed lengthily. "No I'm ok. I just want to be left alone for a bit." She waited for Venus to stand but paused and apologised as Venus walked over to the door.

"It's ok. I'll be back to check on you and your little bun in a while." She smiled softly before leaving, softly clicking the door closed behind her leaving Roxy to wallow in her pity as she curled around Juice's pillow.

xxx xxx

"She ok?" Harley asked Venus. She'd just arrived at the clubhouse with Lyla and was filled in by Tig.

Venus shook her head and pulled Harley's arm back as she made to take off to the dorms. "Said she wants to be alone."

Harley looked at Venus, debating whether to respect Roxy's plea for peace or to go in there and hug her best friend, but when she saw Happy watching her from across the room she decided on going to him instead.

"Anything?" She questioned as she stopped in front of him.

Happy shook his head as he twirled his toothpick to the side of his mouth. Chibs patted Happy on the arm and left, Harley having shut down their conversation.

"Well what's gunna happen?" She crossed her arms over her chest as she looked into his focused eyes.

"Dunno. Workin on it. Kinda hard when our intelligence officer is the one that's missing." His gravelly voice deep with exhaustion. It had been a long couple of days for the guys and Harley could tell the strain Happy was under. "Roxy and the baby ok?" He asked absentmindedly.

"Baby?" Harley levelled him with a curious gaze.

Happy was taken aback. He knew the girls were close and so he just assumed Harley would have been one of the first to know. "Oh, uh... She told us before when she went nuts about him missing."

"Shit, she's pregnant?" Harley would have been over the moon for her best friend under normal circumstances. However she knew how serious this was with Juice missing. She knew the guys didn't have high hopes about them coming back alive. This was the worst possible timing. "Fuck, Happy." Harley grumbled as she frustratedly ran her fingers through her hair. "What do I do?"

Happy shrugged. "Leave her for now. Said she wanted space so give her space."

Harley nodded and decided she'd be going to see her in the hour. She walked over to the bar and grabbed a beer before joining Tara and Venus at one of the tables.

Happy watched her, the slump of her shoulders giving away her worry. He sighed and headed back into the chapel to see what the plan was from here.

xxx xxx

Roxy woke from her nap maybe an hour or so after passing out from the sheer exhaustion of worry and crying. She was still curled around Juice's pillow as she realised there was a knocking on the door. She called for them to come in, thinking maybe it was something about Juice.

Harley stepped into the room with a sandwich and cup of tea, giving Roxy a sad smile as she placed the food down on the beside table before sitting on the edge of the bed next to Roxy.

"How you going?" She asked Roxy softly.

"Terrible." Roxy's eyes glassed over once again as she thought about her current situation. "I'm pregnant Harley." She whispered.

"I know. Happy told me. He didn't realise I didn't know."

"Sorry about that. We'd only found out this morning. Was gunna tell you tonight but I let it slip in my rant to Chibs." Roxy sighed deeply and smoothed her hair out so she redo her ponytail. "What do I do? I want to help them do something." She mumbled.

"Not much we can do. You know the drill Rox." Harley pulled the plate over to Roxy. "Just eat that. Fatten up my godkid. I'll find out what the boys know." Harley kissed Roxy's forehead and moved over to the door.

"Thanks Harley." Roxy's soft voice caught Harley as she shut the door.

Harley sat at the bar and could see Happy zipping up some duffel bags through the slightly opened chapel doors. He ran a hand over his stubbly head in frustration before barking something at Rat who'd been scurrying around for him. Rat came rushing out the doors and bolted down the hall to the members' storage room. Happy shut the chapel doors behind him and made his way over to Harley.

"You ok?" She asked him.

"Think we have a plan." He said in his rough voice.

"Thank fuck. Dunno how I'd be able to help Roxy through this if you didn't."

Roxy shuffled into the barroom at that stage and the SAMCRO and SAMTAC guys present stopped to take her in. They had a plan, whether it would work or not was another thing.

"What's happening? Any news?" She begged as she moved over to Harley.

"We got a guy, Tyler, playing double agent. Looks like he's come through for them. TO passed a message to us through Tyler." Chibs threw a shot back as he told Roxy the plan. "But we gotta get going now lads."

Roxy watched as everyone jumped to life and headed to their bikes. She followed them out the door and moved to stand with Tig and Chibs as they mounted their bikes.

"Please bring him back." The tears in her eyes spoke more than her words.

"Of course lass." Chibs nodded as he revved his bike up before leading the convoy out of the lot.

Harley wrapped an arm around Roxy and pulled her to her chest in a hug. "He's gunna be ok Rox."

Roxy desperately wanted to believe he friend, and as the sound of Harleys faded into the distance she prayed once again for everyone to return safely.

xxx xxx

Juice and TO had been left alone for a while when they heard footsteps coming back down the corridor. Juice wanted to breath a sigh of relief when he saw Tyler in the doorway but someone else entered first and made his way to untie Juice.

Juice panicked slightly, not sure where this was going but he hoped to God Tyler was still on their side and had a plan. Then he nearly shit himself when Tyler unloaded a round in the other guy, right behind Juice.

"Jesus fuck!" TO yelled.

"Sorry, that was messy." Tyler shrugged as he untied them both.

They didn't have much of a chance to get used to standing before they had to run to keep up with Tyler. Juice's ass was numb from sitting for so long, he was dizzy, had a headache thanks to the concussion and Tyler's gun going off in his ear, and he couldn't feel his hands. But he powered through, knowing he'd be seeing Roxy again before the end of the night.

When they got outside the sun was close to setting. Tyler had led them out of the warehouse through a back door and showed them to a blacked out SUV. Juice did have a niggling worry that maybe this was a trap but right now it was all he had to go on. TO seemed happy enough to get in so he followed his lead.

The Niners and Tyler explained what had gone down. Tyler had fed TO the address to give Moses and then told SAMCRO to set up the ambush. Apparently it had gone off without a hitch and Moses, along with most of Marks' muscle, we're now dead at some Hicksville nazi ranch out on a back country road somewhere on the outskirts of Charming.

Juice attempted to keep his eyes open as the rocking of the car lulled him to sleep. He knew he should be trying to stay awake to stave off the concussion but he couldn't help it and closed his eyes briefly.

When he opened them next it was because their car was slowing. The Niners were taking them straight to the ranch to hand over to SAMCRO, who were still there cleaning up.

"Here we go boys." Tyler smiled at TO and Juice as the van pulled to a stop.

Chibs opened the door and Juice climbed out quickly, followed by TO. Juice could barely contain his relief and practically groaned at the sight of his brothers stood waiting for him.

"Shit." Tig ribbed him. "You look rough man."

Juice rubbed the back of his head. "Feel rough."

The rest of the guys smirked to themselves and pulled him into various hugs, relieved to have their brother back in one piece. They pushed him forward towards their van and got ready to head home.

"C'mon then _daddy_." Chibs chuckled. "Let's get you home to your Old Lady."

Juice stumbled slightly. "Huh?"

"Oh we know about the baby lad. You're lady told us earlier while she beat the shit out of me, demanding that I find you." Chibs smirked.

"Oh shit. Sorry." Juice shook his head, surprised Roxy had gone so crazy.

"Hey it's ok brother. She was worried. And after what happened with Bobby I don't blame her." He shrugged.

They loaded up the van and Juice sat in the back with TO, using a duffle bag full of guns as a cushion to lean on. Not the most comfortable. He couldn't wait to see Roxy, he wasn't leaving her ever again after this. They'd be glued to the side forever if he had his wish. Which he was when you thought about it. This marriage was going to happen as soon as possible. He was determined now.

xxx xxx

Roxy had been pacing the bar for the last half an hour. Chibs had called through to the clubhouse that Juice was safe and sound and now she was desperate to see him.

She heard the bikes before anyone else and bolted out into the lot with Harley and Tara hot on her heels. The guys all pulled in as the van parked up across from them. Harley and Tara immediately went to Happy and Jax and Roxy ran over to the van as Rat helped Juice and TO out the back doors.

"Oh my god." She ran to him but stopped short of jumping up when she noted his injuries.

Juice didn't care though, grabbing her and pulling her against him to kiss. He didn't care that his lip was busted and stinging with their movements, or that his cheek was busted wide open and being crushed by Roxy's nose, or that he was so dizzy he was leaning all his weight against her as he slipped his tongue into her mouth.

Roxy had noticed he wasn't quite fit for this as he grew heavier and heavier against her small frame, so she pulled back. "C'mon babe. Let's go lie you down."

He nodded and didn't notice Roxy gesturing to Tig to come help her move him inside, but Tig came up beside him and took some of his weight from Roxy. Jax had urged Tara to go follow them inside. Chibs was helping TO over to the clubhouse as well.

Both men were putting on a brave face but it was obvious they'd both taken quite the beating and looked pretty messed up so Jax had sent Tara to check them over.

Tara followed Roxy, Tig, and Juice down to his dorm and watched as they helped him to lie down on the bed.

"So what happened Juice?" She asked as she walked over with her massive doctor's bag.

Juice groaned as he finally lay down onto a soft surface. "Just beat the shit out of us. Tied to a chair all fucking day." He grumbled.

Tara nodded as she snapped some gloves on. "We're you tied when they hit you?" He nodded. "No defensive wounds then?" Shook his head. "Ok. How many hits? Can you remember?" She was testing to see how concussed he was.

"Dunno. Got up to ten on my face then he winded me and I lost count after that." He seemed embarrassed slightly that he'd been hit so much. But what could he do?

"Ok. Well you definitely have a concussion Juice. You're slurring a little bit with your speech. Are you dizzy?" He nodded. "Ok. Just rest. I'm gunna have to clean and stitch the cut on your cheek, I'll clean the rest but they'll just heal on their own." She said softly as she opened her pack.

Tara had Roxy sit on the bed and prop Juice's head on her lap so she could keep him comfortable while she did this. She did give him a local anaesthetic and some oxy but getting facial stitches were never fun.

To Juice's credit he handled it like a champ, he spent most of the time fighting sleep by watching Roxy as she watched Tara or as she looked down over his body. He could feel the tug of the stitches every now again, despite Tara's delicate touch, but he focused on Roxy's hand stroking through his hair instead and closed his eyes.

After a while he woke as Roxy shifted from underneath him, he didn't want to open his eyes though, so he just listened as Tara gave Roxy instructions on his care and to wake him up every two hours for the concussion.

Roxy clicked the door behind Tara softly and made her way back over to the bed. Juice shifted uncomfortably before looking up at Roxy.

"C'mon, take off your jeans and stuff. Get comfy." She soothed and helped him up.

Roxy assisted him in taking off his clothes until he was standing before her in his boxers. He couldn't help it then he had to kiss her again. Roxy responded in kind, so relieved and happy to have him home. However before he could get too carried away she pulled back again.

"Not tonight baby. You need to sleep, heal a little." She helped him back to the bed.

"Sleep with me?" He mumbled, already almost asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

"Of course." Roxy slipped out of the sweatshirt and yoga pants, leaving her in her sports bra and panties. She slipped in beside him and curled around him, like she'd done his pillow earlier.

Juice kissed her again as he pressed her body against him. "Tomorrow I rock your world baby mama." He mumbled.

"Whatever you say _daddy_.." She whispered back and Juice fell asleep grinning like an idiot.


	112. Chapter 112

**A/N: sorry it's taken so long. I'd just told AngR how I was going to pump out these next chapters but then my phone died and work has been crazy.**

 **However new phone the weekend means writing time for me!**

 **Any ideas for the wedding please PM to me as I don't know what to expect from a biker wedding haha.**

 **As always thanks for your reviews and follows and hello to Trina who joined us from Tumblr :D so glad you're enjoying!!**

Juice woke up with a start as the sun slowly creeped through the curtains. Roxy was out cold beside him, she'd been up every two hours through the night to check on him and wake him up to make sure he hadn't gone into a coma thanks to the concussion.

He carefully slipped out of the bed and made his way to the ensuite. The new clubhouse dorm bathrooms were nice and much tidier than the previous ones. They were lucky with the rebuild they'd managed to upgrade a few things.

Deciding to have a shower Juice hopped under the hot stream of water, thankful that the upgraded hot water system was fast. His face stung as the hot jets beat down on it, he was thankful once more that Tara had covered the stitches on his cheek with a water proof bandaid. As he let the hot water soothe his sore muscles he thought about everything that happened in the last year. He'd been released from Stockton, all the shit happened with Miles, the pressure from the US attorney, the ratting to save Roxy, cheating, breaking up, proposing, both of them being kidnapped, him on the run... so much had gone on yet he was still here. And she was still with him.

He figured someone must be looking out for him if he was still standing. Things could have gone so wrong yesterday. But they didn't. And now he could have Roxy, the baby, and everything he ever wanted.

That settled it for him then, they were getting married ASAP.

xxx xxx

Roxy woke with the sound of the shower turning on in the ensuite. She panicked for a second when she woke with Juice not next to her but then realised it was him in the shower and relaxed into the bed.

Roxy dozed off again until, eventually, Juice came out of the ensuite with a towel wrapped around his waist. His torso was glistening in the early morning sun and Roxy couldn't help but stare at him.

"See something you like?" He smirked as best he could with his swollen face.

Roxy smiled. "Maybe. You're a bit of a bruised tomato, but still cute."

Juice dropped the tshirt he'd looked out to wear for that day and started moving towards Roxy on the bed. When he was standing at the edge of the bed he dropped his towel, leaving Roxy at eye level of his naked crotch.

Roxy didn't take much more persuading than that. She knelt on the bed and pulled him down for a kiss.

"Fuck I was so worried about you." She breathed against his lips.

"I know baby." He soothed as he stroked her hair.

Roxy was swift in working him into a frenzy, kissing, licking, and sucking him to full attention.

"Sure you're ok to do this? Not too hurt?" She breathed, despite the fact they were already past the point of no return.

"Don't even care right now. For a moment yesterday I thought I'd never get to do this again." He said seriously before crashing his lips onto hers.

Juice slipped into her without her really trying and within minutes she was crying out his name and scratching down his back.

"I fucking love you Roxy." He grunted just before his orgasm took over.

After a second he rolled off her and lay next to her, wrapping her in his arms. They were quiet for some time before he broke the silence.

"Oh, shit..." He sat up slightly.

"What, are you ok?" Roxy worried he'd hurt himself, she knew she shouldn't have started that.

"Yeah, I'm fine, are you? It is ok to have sex... y'know, with the baby and all?" He was pretty sure it was but last time they'd done the whole baby thing he'd been in jail.

Roxy snickered. "Yeah it's fine babe. You're gunna have to come to the doctor's appointments so you know all this shit." She smiled.

"I'll be at every single one. I'm not missing a thing this time." He was quiet for a second. "That's one of the things that kills me the most about Gabriel. That I wasn't there." He sighed. "I feel like I didn't really know him, or get a chance to meet him. Does that make sense?"

Roxy nodded into his chest. "Yeah... but you were his dad. He knows that. I just wish it had been different for you."

Juice shrugged. "This time will be different." He stroked the side of her stomach gently. "Ready to get married?" He changed the subject. "I don't think I want to wait much longer. Don't want to risk any more shit happening. You need to be my wife, like right now." He chuckled.

"I'm ready when you are babe." Juice smiled at her assurance but then she rolled back off him.

"What's wrong?" He lent up on his elbow to look down on her face and could see she looked worried.

Roxy shrugged. "I just kinda hoped that perhaps I would have had the chance to get this fixed-" she gestured to the scarred crow on her chest- "before I walked down the aisle." She looked up into his eyes. "So I didn't have some fucked up scar on there like reminding me what happened. I don't want to see that in our wedding photos."

Juice sighed and dropped a kiss to her forehead. "If we do it soon the scar is gunna be the least of your worries, it'll be my fucked up face everyone will notice." Motioning to his cut and bruised face. "Plus that-" he gently stroked her chest- "is a reminder of what you've been through for us to get here. Shows how amazing you are. That's all I see when I look at it." He was lying slightly there. He would often see clips of that video but he was trying hard to push past that and see what he told Roxy he saw.

"I know that's a lie." She mumbled. "But thank you."

Juice smiled. "C'mon, suppose we should get up and join the land of the living."

xxx xxx

Roxy was first out into the barroom while Juice finished up getting dressed. She sidled up to Harley at the bar and gave her a hug.

"Oh my god. Now can we celebrate baby Ortiz?" She practically shouted.

Roxy laughed as everyone around them clapped and cheered. Juice arrived in the barroom just as they were all congratulating her and another round of cheers erupted from the gathered bikers.

Juice walked over to Roxy with pats on the back as he passed and swooped her in for a kiss.

They broke apart with Roxy slightly breathless and grinning before Juice turned to his brothers.

"That's not all." He started. "You lot best get planning for a wedding! After the last couple days I want to make this chick my wife as soon as possible." China called for some drinks in celebration, waving off concerns that it was too early in the morning for whisky.

"Hey after the last couple days we need something to cheer about." He joked as he passed out the shot glasses.

Juice took Roxy under his arm and she cuddled into him as everyone raised their glasses.

"To Juice and Roxy!" Chibs raised his glass as everyone repeated his words. Then he poured some more of the amber liquid and raised his glass again. "To Bobby." He said sombrely.

"To Bobby!" The chorus continued.

Tara, Harley, and Lyla whisked Roxy over to one of the plush new booths to begin wedding planning.

"So where and when?" Harley demanded of her best friend.

"I don't even know yet. Probably could do reception here and break in the new facilities and maybe courthouse for the legal shit?" She queried.

"Sounds good to me." Harley responded.

"Better than getting married in a brothel." Tara joked as the others snickered.

"My brother never was much of a romantic." Roxy laughed before turning to Harley. "Will you be my maid of honour though?"

Harley's eyes lit up and she squealed causing the guys to turn around to look at the girls as Harley jumped up and hugged Roxy. "Uhhh bitch I was going to be whether you asked or not! We'd always planned it this way. Just glad it's to Juicy boy and not that fucker Matt." She laughed.

Chibs nudged Happy at the bar as they watched the girls all gushing about wedding plans. "You next Happy my man." Chibs winked. Happy just rolled his eyes and took out a cigarette. "Not wanting to get married Hap? She's a fine lass that one." He pointed to Harley.

"Let him at least make her an Old Lady first." Tig interjected, before chucking at the death glare Happy sent his way.

"Stay out of it fuckers." He growled before moving to go outside to finish his smoke and coffee in peace.

"For someone named Happy he sure is a grumpy asshole." Rat mumbled to Juice.

"Wouldn't let the Tacoma Killer hear that if I were you." Chibs warned and Rat nodded, suitably scorned.

"Just dunno why he wouldn't wanna lock that in. She's fucking hot." He added.

Tig, Chibs, and Juice all shook their heads at Rat but continued with their discussions.

"You and Happy ok?" Roxy asked Harley quietly after seeing him storm out of the bar.

Harley smiled softly. "Yeah. He's got some shit going on, I'll talk to you later. But we're good." She shuffled out of her seat. "I'm gunna see if he's ok."

Roxy nodded and Harley gave her one more squeeze before walking off to see where Happy went. She found him outside sitting on the top of one of the picnic tables.

Harley walked over to him and stood in between his legs looking into his eyes. She moved in to kiss him softly but Happy was off and not really responding.

"You ok Killa?" She questioned.

He shrugged. "Tig and Chibs just pissing me off." He grumbled.

"What about?" She stroked his thighs, still looking intently into his eyes.

Happy eyed her and tried to read her expression. He wasn't good at reading emotions but Harley was a pretty open book, something he liked about her. It made it easier on him when it came to this relationship shit.

"You want all that? Marriage and a baby?" He said quickly, like he was ripping off a bandaid.

Harley was taken aback slightly. She knew she loved Happy, though neither had said it to the other she thought he loved her too. "I dunno..." she shrugged. "Kind of. My mom and pops loved each other, real ride or die shit. I do want that. But at the end of the day we are different and if that's not on the cards for us I don't care. I just want to be with you." She kissed him quickly. "I do want a kid someday though." She watched his eyes darken slightly before darting from her face to look down at her hands resting on his thighs. "Happy I totally understand why you might not want that, and it's still super early in our relationship but is that something you can see yourself wanting again? In the future?"

Happy chucked his dead smoke on the ground next to the bench and looked back up at Harley. He never thought he'd want to try that again. After Ariana died he had sworn off relationships and everything that came with them. But then he got with Harley and that all changed. From their first night together he knew she wasn't a quick fuck or an easy lay. She was more than that.

Now he'd committed to trying a proper relationship with Harley and he'd come to terms with that, despite how emotionally shut off he'd become since Ariana. However thinking about kids was a whole other ballgame and he didn't really know what to say.

He rubbed a hand over his face as the thoughts whirled around in his head. "I don't know what to tell you babe." He looked into her eyes, noticing the flicker of hurt passing over her face. "Maybe. I dunno what kinda father I'd make though."

Harley nodded. "If the time comes Hap, you'd be an amazing dad. I'll never pressure you for shit, it's not my style. But I just want you to know it's something I think about for my future."

"Yeah, ok." He rasped.

"Porn producer and MC enforcer... any potential kids of ours are gunna be so fucked up." She chuckled.

"Wouldn't have it any other way babe." He smirked and stood up. "C'mon we should probably go join in the festivities."

Harley nodded and walked ahead of him as he slapped her ass. Their chat hadn't cleared much up for her but at least he knew where he stood.

xxx xxx

Juice and Roxy finally made it home after much more celebrating at the club. Juice was relieved to finally be back in his own house and that Chibs had given him a couple days off to chill after his ordeal. The rest of the club was dealing with the Marks shit, for good they hoped, and he was just glad he didn't have to be involved.

"It is so fucking good to be home." He groaned as he flopped onto the bed.

"Mmmm it's good to have you home." Roxy lay down next to him. "Shall I go ahead and book a session for the wedding? At the courthouse?"

"You wanna get married at a courthouse?" He looked down to her.

"Where else? Clubhouse for reception but I dunno, I think it'd be nice to get married somewhere proper." She smiled at him.

"If that's what you want. But Charming doesn't have a courthouse. We'd have to go to Lodi."

"Oh. Is that cool?"

"Yeah Lodi is fine. Can have the Grim Bastards escort us. Wouldn't mind inviting TO after all this."

Roxy smiled. "Of course baby."

"Don't think I'd have lasted so long if he wasn't there. He's tough as concrete."

"So are you babe. You'd have been fine. You always sell yourself short but you know what to do in shit situations."

Juice snorted derisively. "Yeah... my track record is full of shining examples of me making perfect choices."

Roxy shook her head and pushed him back into the bed before rolling on top of him and straddling him. "You chose me and that's a pretty damn perfect choice." She grinned down at him.

"You're so full of yourself." He pulled her down for a kiss. "But you're right." He mumbled against her lips.

Roxy deepened the kiss and rolled her hips against his. "We need to research wedding stuff." She said breathlessly as she kissed down his neck.

"After." He pulled her lips back to his. "I wanna do this first. Celebrate again, y'know?"

A mischevious grin flashed across Roxy's face. "Then let's celebrate... daddy." She whispered in his ear.

If Juice wasn't ready to go before he was now, he flipped her over to her back and she wrapped her legs around him as he crawled up her body. "Fuck that's hot." He mumbled as he pulled her top up and over her head and shoulders before pushing his lips against hers in a heated kiss.

Roxy undid his pants as he kissed down her chest. After some fumbling she managed to free him from his boxers and stroke him as he kissed her chest, moving the cups of her bra enough to get at her breasts.

Before long he had their pants off and Roxy gasped as he slid into her.

"Fuck you feel so good baby." Juice grunted as he moved inside her, thrusting hard as Roxy pulled at the bedsheets.

"Fuck... Juice..." she panted as he sucked on her nipple.

Roxy wasn't sure if it was the emotion of the situation or the onset of pregnancy hormones but everything felt so good right now and she couldn't get enough of him as she came, gripping his shoulders and squeezing her legs around his hips. Any reminders of her trauma from the past few months were long forgotten in the moment and she slowly came back down to earth as Juice wrapped a hand in her hair and tilted her head back so he could kiss and suck down her neck, leaving a bite right at the base.

Juice thirsted choppily a few more times before joining her in a blissful state. Eventually he rolled off her and lay back on the bed.

"Was it just me or did that feel better than usual... not that it doesn't normally feel good." He stammered out.

Roxy laughed. "I know what you mean." She traced a hand over the lettering under his pec. "Must be the relief of the last few days. We're really happy for once."

"I'm always happy with you." He smirked.

After a few moments he rolled over and pulled his iPad from the bedside drawer and lay back onto the bed. Luckily it still had some charge as he couldn't be bothered to go grab his laptop from the study.

"Lets research wedding shit."

Roxy curled into him as they looked up everything they'd need to do for a wedding and decided they'd need a couple of weeks to get it together. Lyla could notarise any documents they needed to submit, which was good, so they could have the legal stuff done quickly with hers and Lowen's help.

"Now we just need to call up and book." She looked to Juice expectantly. He handed her the phone and pointed out the number on the screen.

Roxy was on hold for a few minutes but eventually got through to someone who could help and within minutes they had a date. "11th April? Gives us three weeks to get our shit together." She smiled as Juice beamed at her.

"Sounds good. Gives other charters some time to come down." He nodded.

"Mmm all your little Indian Hills buddies can make it then." She teased him for his friends and he laughed.

"Who else do you want to invite?" He questioned.

Roxy considered for a moment. Anyone she knew and cared enough to invite was pretty much the club. "Joey maybe. That's it I guess."

Juice nodded in agreement, forever grateful to Joey for helping them out while he was on the run from the club. Roxy fiddled with her engagement ring as she waited for him to say something else.

"You uh, you wish your ma was here?" He ventured.

Roxy sighed and put her hand back on his chest. "Kind of. But then I remember I'd never have been attacked if it wasn't for her so then I hate her. But I can't hate her. You know?"

"Kind of. I hate my Ma for leaving me but then again she's my Ma... not the same I know but I kinda feel ya."

"But I'm good with her not coming. I want the day to be happy. I don't want anything to remind me of shit times."

He rolled over and kissed her again. "Ok babe. It's gunna be an awesome day."

"It sure is. Lyla has offered to organise the reception at the clubhouse for us. And I asked Harley to be my maid of honour."

"I figured, what with the squealing and all." He joked.

Roxy giggled. "Who's gunna be your best man."

Juice shrugged. "Chibs probably."

Roxy smiled. "Think I might ask Tig to give me away. Do it proper y'know. Get a white dress n shit."

"Thought you had to be a virgin for a white dress?" Juice smirked.

"Fuck off Ortiz." She slapped his chest lightly. "I want the whole white dress thing, ok? I may have grown up in the MC but I still had the white wedding dreams every little girl has."

Juice encouraged Roxy to go call Harley and set the plans while he fired off a text to Chibs with the date to be sure he was cool with the date for the clubhouse. He offered to contact the other charters for Juice and get some of their other charters coming.

Roxy came back in the room eventually and Juice could hear Harley blabbering on the other end of the phone but he smiled seeing the grin playing on Roxy's face.

They were officially getting married!


	113. Chapter 113

**A/N: I hope you're all enjoying the story, I'm not hearing from many people these days so please review and tell me what you think! I'll love you forever!**

 **I'm a chapter ahead at the moment so I'll hopefully be updating quicker than I have been since returning to work so thanks for bearing with me :)**

 **Thanks to AngR for her reviews and help as always.**

 **Lemme know what you think!**

The next few days were a flurry of activity, all wedding related. Juice had been home mostly, thanks to Chibs giving him time off, and had helped Roxy with some plans for food and travel but was otherwise pretty distracted. Harley and Lyla had both been busy down at RedWoody and as a result they hadn't had much of a chance to get together in person to talk.

Finally, however, Harley had called Roxy and asked her to come to her place straight away. Roxy quickly threw a flannel shirt on over her jeans and tank top combo and wandered through the house to find Juice. He was in the spare room which was half office, half home gym. There he was in all his shirtless glory, sweaty from continuous sit ups.

He caught Roxy watching him but didn't stop his sit ups. "Going out?" He asked as he eyed her attire.

"Yeah just to Harley's. That ok?" In the past she would have balked at the idea of asking Juice permission to do things. She used to hate that the Old Ladies had to ask their men's permission any time they wanted to do something. But now she understood the reason behind it. It wasn't because Juice owned her, it was because he knew if it'd be safe for her to wander around unattended.

"Yeah you're good. Just don't go outta Charming without an escort. The Marks threat is contained for now but don't wanna risk too much." He said, slightly breathless from his sit-ups.

Roxy smiled and walked over to him, kneeling down to straddle his waist, effectively stopping his sit-up rhythm. She pushed him to lie back on the floor and bent over to kiss him.

"Babe I'm all sweaty." He mumbled against her lips. She shrugged. "You're gunna get all messy with it."

"You turning down sex Ortiz?" She pulled back.

"No!" He practically shouted before kissing her again. He was kind of grossed out by it all though. He'd been doing sit-ups in the first place because his mind was racing a bit and the monotony and rhythm of exercising helped calm his brain. But the idea of covering Roxy in his sweat grossed him out a bit and set him on edge so he did break the kiss and push her back.

"I'm just all dirty right now." He mumbled when Roxy sighed.

"You're always dirty Juan Carlos." She purred and tried to kiss him again but he pulled back and gave her a scowl. "Fine, whatever. I'll see you tonight." She got up off him and the floor rather ungracefully and left him lying there confused.

He heard her call out a goodbye before the sound of her Jeep starting up and leaving the drive way.

"Fuck I'm such a dickhead sometimes." He grumbled to himself. Juice took his phone off the iPhone dock in the corner, shutting off the music he hadn't even noticed was playing and fired Roxy off a quick text.

 _So sorry babe. I didn't mean to upset you. I'm just about stressed at the moment. Sorry. I promise I'll make it up to you tonight xxxxx -_ J

xxx xxx

Roxy pulled up at Harley's place and saw the message on her phone. She rolled her eyes and stuffed it back in her bag. He'd barely touched her the last few days since the afternoon at their house on return from the clubhouse. Normally Roxy wouldn't mind so much but it kind of set off alarm bells in her head, like maybe he was getting cold feet or something. Or maybe the pregnancy had turned him off. Who knows, but he was being weird nonetheless.

"Hey bride to be!" Harley exclaimed when she opened the door but frowned at the look on Roxy's face. "What's wrong?"

Roxy moved past her to the living room and flopped down on the sofa. "Juice being fucking weird again."

"What's he done now?" Harley rolled her eyes.

"Dude won't have sex with me! Like every time I've come on to him in the last few days he shrugs me off." She whined.

Harley plopped down on the sofa next to her. "And here I thought the Sons were reknowned for their sexual appetites." She joked.

Roxy just glared at her friend. "Yeah well tell that to him." She rolled her eyes. "I dunno if he's getting cold feet and regretting wanting the wedding so soon or if he's like turned off by the whole baby thing or something..."

"I doubt it Rox. He's just a weird kid. Ask him tonight and put him on the spot."

"Yeah I suppose."

"Men." Harley humphed.

Roxy chuckled. "Yeah men... so what's with Happy? You said you were gunna tell me."

Harley moved closer slightly and spoke in hushed tones as if she thought someone might hear her. "You _cannot_ tell a soul what I'm about to tell you." She waited for Roxy to nod. "Even Juice."

"Ok..." Roxy was concerned now.

"He told me some shit about his past and... I dunno. I'm like being there for him and shit but it's hard."

"You did know what he does for the club, yeah?" Roxy asks, Roxy had known he was the enforcer all along so she didn't think that was what had upset Harley.

"Yeah, that shit doesn't bother me. Not really. It's before he joined the club." Roxy nodded for her to continue so Harley took a deep breath, feeling like she was betraying his trust but knowing she could trust Roxy to help her with the mess in her head. "When he finished high school he proposed to his girlfriend. They moved to Tacoma to like start fresh or some shit. Anyways while he was there he started working at this garage and ended up Prospecting for SAMTAC and that's how he got involved with the club. While he was Prospecting his girlfriend found out she was pregnant so he worked more and was away a lot. One of the days he was away some dudes broke into his house and attacked and killed her. Raped her, beat her up, basically just left her to bleed out on the floor. He found her."

"Oh shit." Roxy breathed. This story was full on but explained a lot about Happy's personality. She couldn't imagine what that would have been like. Knowing your other half **and** your baby were killed, finding them there like that and seeing what must have happened. Then she thought about what Juice told her. He'd been the one to watch the videos Lin sent, not wanting Juice to go through the same pain he did she figured.

"Yeah... so he told the club officers and they helped him kill the guys. He said he was pretty fucked up about it and that's why he ended up going down the club enforcer road." She was quiet for a moment. "It's not that that is confusing me. But he says he'd not really been with a woman properly since her. I'm the first. Which I take as being a good thing, and I know he really cares about me but... I dunno. I see you and Juice, Jax and Tara, and I want that. But I don't know if Hap is ever going to." Harley was close to tears at this point. She'd been so busy being strong and understanding for Happy she didn't take this time for herself to come to terms with it. "I think I'm always going to be at arms length with him and I love him but I want more. I want to have a baby some day and maybe not get married but have some sort of commitment but I don't want to lose him-"

Roxy cut her off as she pulled her in for a hug. She shushed Harley as she stroked her hair and let her cry on her shoulder. After a while Harley controlled herself and pulled back.

"I'm sorry. Guess I've just been holding that in a while."

"It's ok Harley. You're allowed to be upset. That's a fucking tough situation... explains a lot about Happy though."

"Yeah I thought so too. Ugh I just dunno what to do any more."

"Want me to talk to him?"

Harley went wide eyed. "No! He can't know I told you."

"Ok, I can do it without referencing this though?"

"No. It's ok. He hates people meddling in his shit."

Roxy considered for a moment. "You're just gunna have to talk to him about it. Just say you want to know if there's a possibility of a future together."

"Yeah, I guess." She smiled a watery smile. "Why do men have to be so hard!" She groaned.

"Tell me about it." Roxy shrugged. "Suppose, seeing as smoking and drinking are out of the question maybe we should move on with wedding stuff?" She chuckled.

"No cigarettes even?" Harley was surprised. Roxy usually smoked like a chimney. She was Gemma's daughter after all.

"Kind of. Doc said not to go cold turkey as it's stressful on the baby but I want to wean myself as much as possible. Give the baby the best chance I can. Doctor said I should be ok to go on patches after 12 weeks. Risk of miscarriage and shit goes down then. Apparently the risk of me going cold turkey is worse for the baby than the risk of smoking. Go figure."

Harley smiled and offered Roxy an iced tea before dragging her to the kitchen table to look at wedding dresses on the laptop.

xxx xxx

Roxy's mind was reeling with Harley's confession when she arrived home. She'd been made to promise over a hundred times she wouldn't tell anyone. None of the guys knew about Happy's past and Roxy would keep it that way. She just wanted to be there for her friend.

When she opened the door the lights were off and everything was quiet. She double checked the driveway and Juice's bike was definitely there so she figured he must be in the bedroom or something.

"Juan?" She called out.

"In here." Came from the bedroom.

Roxy trudged down the hallway expecting him to be in bed half asleep but when she came through the door he was sitting on the edge of the bed in his boxers. Everything was neat in the bedroom and he'd obviously had a go around tidying everything.

Roxy rolled her eyes and ignored him as she walked past him to the bathroom. Juice called out to her but she just locked the door behind her and had her shower. She needed a minute to think and shut off what Harley had told her about Happy and reign in her insecurities about her own relationship before she said something to upset Juice.

When she'd dried and put her dressing gown on she came back out to see him, again sitting on the bed, but this time on the edge closest to the ensuite.

Roxy shoved her clothes in the laundry basket and made her way back to the bed, laying down on her side but facing him.

"What's going on Juan?" She asked when he took the hint and lay next to her.

"Just stressed out is all." He rubbed a hand over his face.

"Cold feet?" She whispered, almost afraid of his answer.

Juice shook his head and pulled her closer to him. "Not for a second baby." He kissed her as passionately as he could. "Just everything with Bobby then me n TO finally sunk in. Been going a bit crazy." He gestured to the neatness of the room.

"Why didn't you say?" She asked.

"I always think it'll be fine and I'll be good in a couple of days. Guess not."

"J you have to just tell me. I've spent the last two days thinking maybe the whole pregnancy thing turned you off and I was not looking forward to 7 more months of celibacy."

Juice scowled at her. "Why in the world would you think that?"

"You've barely touched me since you got back." She accused.

"I know. I'm sorry. Honestly it's not that. Today it was because I was sweaty and it just freaked me out imagining having sex like that." He let out an annoyed groan. "I sound like such a fucking pussy. I should just want to have sex whenever..." he was so annoyed with himself and frustrated that his stupid mind had such control over everything he did.

Roxy rolled her eyes. "Baby you have untreated OCD. I think you're doing fine given the fact you refuse treatment. Just chill. I don't expect you to want sex on demand, I sure don't half the time. But next time tell me why instead of leaving me to run away with _my_ thoughts. Coz that doesn't end up good for anyone."

Juice nodded and chuckled. "So how much did you two bitch about me today?"

Roxy laughed. "Enough." She shrugged. "It's all good. Don't stress. Harley and I just talked each other down."

"Harley and Happy having issues?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Kinda. But I can't really talk about it."

"Fair enough. Did you get any wedding shit done?"

"Chose a dress and ordered it. Online but from a good store so hopefully it doesn't look like shit."

"You'd look great in anything babe."

"Kiss ass." She smirked.

"It's a nice ass." He laughed and slapped the part of her ass he could reach.

Roxy raised an eyebrow and Juice took it as a sign and closed his mouth over hers in a hot kiss.

xxx xxx

Roxy and Juice woke up early the Monday a week before the wedding. With the date set for the following Wednesday, the first available date they got at Lodi, they had been quickly organising everything they'd need. The week since Roxy had chosen her dress had flown by and they'd been to Lyla to sign all the documents and the marriage license, now it was just a waiting game.

The knocking on their front door had been what got them out of bed. Juice went first, gun in the band of his sweats. No one they knew would come by this early without calling first. Though Roxy pointed out that if someone wanted to sneak up and kill them they wouldn't exactly knock on the door first. Juice just rolled his eyes and kept going.

The panic was over when they opened the door to find a UPS guy with a box addressed to Roxy. Juice signed for it and dismissed the worker before bringing the box to Roxy at the dining table.

"Wedding stuff?" He questioned as she peeled the sticky tape off.

Roxy furrowed her brows. "It's not a big enough box to be anything I ordered."

Juice surveyed the box before she opened it. It did look similar size to the ones Marks had sent with pieces of Bobby. But why would anyone send that shit to Roxy at their house?

"I'll open it." He pulled it from her. "Just in case." He added at Roxy's glare.

Juice finished ripping open the lid and breathed a sigh of relief when all he found was a letter, another thicker envelope, and a jewellery box. He passed the items over to Roxy who took them with a confused look.

Plopping down on a dining chair Roxy took the letter envelope and opened it, recognising the writing immediatley.

"It's from Ma." She whispered as she read the letter.

 _To my baby girl,_

 _I've wanted to write you for so long but I knew it probably wasn't the best idea. But when I got word you and Juicy Boy were finally getting married I wanted to pass some things along._

 _I don't know if you'll want them but I thought maybe if you did then you'd at least have a little piece of your father and I there with you. They are our wedding rings. The police sent me his amongst his personal effects when he died and I've long since taken mine off. I gave Jax and Tara mine and JT's rings when they got married so it's only right you have ours. I know we didn't have the best marriage and those rings don't represent the strongest of unions but they represent you and our love for you, the beautiful product of our relationship, no matter how shit it was._

 _I've also enclosed some money for you and Juice to use for whatever you want. Maybe go somewhere nice for a honeymoon or put it towards fertility treatments or something._

 _You'll never know how sorry I am for what happened to you. I know it's all my fault and I wish I could take it back, I wish I could take back what happened to Tara as well._

 _I've made some shitty decisions in my life Roxy, god knows you've seen plenty first hand, but I'll never regret any of the decisions that brought me you. I always said I never wanted a baby girl, but watching you grow up has been the best thing and I know you'll be 100 times the wife and mother I ever was._

 _I know I can't be there on your big day, but I'll be thinking of you, and who knows, maybe I'll catch a glimpse of the blushing bride in Lodi._

 _I love you, forever and always,_

 _Ma_

Roxy looked up to Juice and he could see the tears flowing down her face. He'd waited patiently as she read the letter and as soon as she pushed it over to him he took it and scanned the letter.

"Oh babe." He moved over to pull her into a hug now she was full on crying. Juice held her and reread the letter not believing half of what she said. Then it struck him. "How'd she know about the wedding? No one club affiliated should be talking to her."

Roxy scoffed. "I know of a thousand people who'd be a rat for her. Chunky for a start, he's been helping Lyla with wedding plans, the many crow eaters who still see her as queen, Unser, take your pick." She angrily wiped the tears from her face before reaching over to the other contents of the box. She opened the jewellery box and pulled out the two rings, inspecting them closely before tossing them onto the table. "No way in hell we are wearing those cursed rings." She stood up and started pacing the room while Juice picked the fat envelope out of the box.

Roxy watched as he thumbed the bills stuffed into the envelope. "Must be at least 2k here." He chucked it down on the table.

"Fucking burn it." She spat. "I'm so fucking angry! Why did she have to ruin this?! All my parents have ever done is fuck everything up. They _hated_ me growing up. What she wrote in there about never wanting a girl? That was so true. And Clay! _Clay-"_ she sneered his name- "couldn't get rid of me quick enough. Everyone was right, when he died he was only nice to me in the hopes I'd save him from the club." She kicked one of the dining chairs back from the table and it clattered to the ground.

"Babe, you need to calm down. Take some deep breaths, we'll go down to the club and figure this out." He tried to pull her against him for a hug but she fought her way out of it.

"Figure what out Juan? How at every possible turn she fucked my life up? How her bullshit temper almost killed Tara? Her attempts at covering her ass ended up with me being gangraped in a fucking warehouse by Asian gangsters?!" She would have continued but Juice grabbed and forced her against him in an attempt to calm her down with a hug.

Hearing her let out all her frustrations with her mother was hard. Especially the last one. "Shhhh Roxy, fuck her. We can get rid of this shit and be done with her. Whatever you want. Just please don't cry over her. Don't get worked up about this. It's not good for you."

Roxy stifled a sob and nodded against his chest. "But we can't get rid of her for good. She says she'll maybe catch a glimpse of me on the day in Lodi. She knows where and when we are getting married." She let some more tears escape. "I don't want to see her on the day. I can't. I already have the fucking marred crow to remind me of everything I don't want to see her too."

"Ok. Leave it to me. I'll call the guys and we'll go to the clubhouse. See if we can find out who's feeding info to Gemma."

Roxy nodded against him. "Thank you." She gave him a quick kiss.

Juice pulled back and cupped her face in his hands, forcing her to look him in the eye. He considered her deep blue eyes for a moment, glassy with tears and emotion, he knew how much of a painful reminder her Ma was when it came to Lin.

"I promise you baby. The only thing you'll be thinking of on our wedding day is how happy I am going to make you for the rest of your life. Because I promise you Roxy, I am going to do everything I can, every day, for the rest of my life to make you smile. All that shit that happened is behind us, it's just you and me now, and baby, and we'll show our parents that we're gunna be 100 times happier than they ever were and 100 times the parents they ever were too. I love you Rox."

Roxy watched the emotions play out on Juice's face as he made his speech and she knew then and there, he was right, the only thing she'd be thinking about at their wedding was him.


	114. Chapter 114

**A/N: annnnd I'm back! I thought everyone had forgotten about the story haha so thank you for the reviews! It seriously means a lot to know people are enjoying it etc.**

 **hopefully this will answer some questions and please you all.**

 **There will be more Gemma issues later and Roxy won't forget about her mum that easy.**

 **As always let me know what you think!**

Roxy and Juice pulled up at the clubhouse on his bike. He knew he should have driven her Jeep but it was only a short distance and he knew he'd need his bike later. Roxy was in no shape to drive herself and at least this way if he went out somewhere she'd have to stay at the clubhouse and would have people to watch over her.

Roxy hopped off the bike and spotted Harley and Happy sitting, smoking, at one of the picnic benches with Chibs and Tig, so she made her way over.

Juice pulled Tig and Chibs to the side to explain what happened and Roxy gave Harley a quick hug before turning to Happy. "Hey how are ya Hap?"

Happy nodded and shrugged his shoulders, watching carefully as the two girls shared a look and a silent conversation with each other. It was obvious to him that Harley had told Roxy and it pissed him off. Without another word he got up and stormed off to the clubhouse leaving the girls to watch him walk away.

"He ok?" Roxy murmured to Harley.

"Fuck knows." She shrugged in response. "You ok?" She could see the puffiness of Roxy's eyes and knew she'd been crying.

"Not really. Got a package from my Ma this morning." Harley raised an eyebrow. "Sent me her and Clay's rings for the wedding, some money and a bullshit letter. She knows when and where the wedding is." Roxy could feel the tears building up again as Harley pulled her in for another hug.

"Someone's been blabbing." She surmised. "This won't go down well. My money's on Chucky."

Roxy nodded. "Maybe. But he's still pretty loyal to the club, even though he worshiped my Ma."

Juice came up behind Roxy then and and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Chibs called for church, gunna figure it out."

Roxy nodded and Juice pressed a quick kiss to her head. "Come sit inside and have some breakfast. Chucky made food for everyone apparently."

Roxy nodded and followed Juice and Harley to the door, Tig and Chibs hot on their heels. As soon as the door to the clubhouse opened she caught a whiff of the bacon and eggs and her stomach dropped. She panicked feeling the bile rise in her throats and turned to run back outside to the lot. She made it just outside the door and leant against the wall as her stomach heaved and she threw up what little contents where in her system. She retched some more as Juice stopped beside her and rubbed her back, Harley and Tig watching on from the doorway.

"You ok baby? What's wrong?" He panicked, not really sure what to do. He figured it was morning sickness but didn't really know what to do for it.

Roxy nodded and leaned back against the wall. "That's embarrassing." She commented as Tig made sure they were ok and took Harley inside.

Juice just shrugged. "Not the first chick to throw up out here. Usually they've had a bit more to drink than you though." He smirked.

"Fuck off Ortiz." She slapped his chest playfully. "Ugh retching like that feels like shit."

"Sure you're ok?"

"Yeah normal around this time. Happened with Gabriel at 8 weeks on the dot. I was expecting it since last week but guess this little one decided to give me a week off." She patted her flat stomach and smiled.

"You need to eat."

"Yeah I do. No eggs though. Hate them at the best of times." She gagged.

Juice pulled her into the clubhouse and had a crow eater fix her a plate as he waited on the others to get here for church. The crow eater brought him a plate too and he sat with his brothers and ate quietly as he watched Roxy pick at her food with Harley. Truth be told he was slightly worried. She'd been to see her cardiologist the day before and he switched up her pills for while she was pregnant. Taking the blood thinners was out of the question so she'd been given other stuff to try combat it while she was pregnant. But if she was vomiting then they wouldn't take effect.

Happy came back from the dorms and sat with them, looking pissed, slightly more so than usual. One of the crow eaters brought him a plate over with a flirty grin and he just glared at her before taking the plate off her.

"What's up with you Hap?" Juice ventured, Tig, Chibs, and Quinn being too scared. TO was sitting next to Juice, having recently been patched in, but was definitely not getting involved in this conversation.

Happy levelled Juice with a glare, a few months ago that glare would have scared the shit out of Juice. But these days he was finding himself a lot harder to rattle. A side effect of all the shit that had gone on.

"As if you don't know. Those fucking gashes gossip more than's good for them." He growled, gesturing to the girls as he stabbed a bit of bacon with his fork.

"Hey that's my Old Lady Hap, watch your fucking mouth." Juice ground back. "I dunno what gossiping they've done but I don't know shit so fucking check yourself." Juice shoved his plate back from him and stood up roughly, causing his chair to topple back and hit the floor.

Happy stood as well mirroring Juice's attitude. "As if she didn't tell you. Something like that she wouldn't be able to keep her fucking mouth shut." Happy rasped. He didn't really know why he was taking this all out on Roxy but it was probably the feeling of vulnerability clouding his judgement.

"You fucking asshole-" Juice growled to Happy and was ready to launch across the table at the Tacoma Killer but Harley and Roxy rushed over to the mens' table. None of the other brothers were getting in the way of this. If there was beef between brothers it was usually sorted with fists so they weren't in a rush to step in. Roxy stood over near Juice, knowing her place as an Old Lady.

Harley, on the other hand, couldn't help herself. She grabbed Happy's elbow as he cursed Juice out and tried to pull him back but Happy just shoved her off rather roughly causing her to stumble back and fall on her ass.

"Jesus Christ Happy!" Roxy yelled before trying to rush over to Harley, who'd pushed herself up on Quinn's chair, but Juice held her back not wanting her to get hurt.

"What the fuck is your problem Lowman?!" Harley yelled as she stepped up to Happy.

"You not knowing your fucking place and keeping your fucking mouth shut!" He yelled back before sending his chair flying and storming back to his room, pissed at Harley for telling Roxy and then at himself for losing control in front of everyone.

Happy assumed that Roxy had told Juice his secret and knew his younger brother had trouble keeping his trap shut when it came to gossip so he just assumed half the clubhouse would have known by breakfast.

Harley jumped as she heard his door slam from down the hallway and turned to look at the group then Roxy. "I haven't done anything wrong..." She mumbled before turning and running into the lot, well as fast as she could run in stilettos.

Juice turned to Roxy who was making her way round the table to chase after Harley. "What the fuck was that about? What haven't you kept your mouth shut about?" He demanded.

Roxy snorted derisively at his 'Old Man' attitude in front of his brothers. "Nothing Juice. I haven't said a fucking thing." She stormed angrily after Harley, leaving the boys to wonder what the fuck was happening with the women today.

Chibs looked to everyone and told them they'd be having church in five minutes to figure out the Gemma issue, hoping it would be enough time for Happy to cool off.

xxx xxx

"So girls! I have some stuff ready to talk to you about the food-" Lyla shut up as soon as she saw Roxy and Harley's faces.

The girls were sitting at one of the booths and Lyla dropped her bags and flopped down next to Harley before questioning what was happening.

"Well Happy decided to be a jackass, more so than usual." Roxy gestured to Harley. "And Gemma sent me a letter and some shit. She somehow knows about the wedding and threatened to come watch." Lyla frowned at that while Roxy continued. "Guys are in church now trying to figure out who the rat is."

"Oh shit." Lyla breathed.

"What?" Harley and Roxy turned to her.

"Please don't hate me. I've had to talk to Nero a couple times about legal Diosa shit and uh, I guess I maybe let slip about the wedding and he's told Gemma."

"Fuck, Lyla!" Roxy whinged and let her head flop to the table.

"I know I'm so sorry! I didn't think. It's just nice chatting to Nero and I guess I just got carried away."

Roxy groaned. "It's ok Lyla. Now we just have to be prepared for Gemma fucking showing up. I'm surprised Nero stayed with her."

Lyla nodded. "He almost didn't. She went running to him seeing as he was getting ready to go to the farm. Told him she was gunna go with him. Then it all came out and he almost threw her ass out at the side of the road. But guess they worked through it." Lyla grabbed Roxy's hand across the table. "I am sorry Roxy. I didn't even think about it at the time."

Roxy shrugged. "What's done is done. Just have to make the most of it now and hope that she has the sense to stay the fuck away. We should probably let the guys know." Harley nodded in agreement. "Chucky?!" Roxy yelled, knowing better than to interrupt church herself.

"Yes?" He scurried over.

"Can you knock on the door and tell the guys we know who let slip to Gemma?"

"Can do." He nodded officially and purposefully strode across the room to the chapel.

The girls waited as they watched Chucky speak briefly with Tig at the door before Tig shut him out. A second or so later Tig called Roxy over to come into the chapel. She took a deep breath and tried to figure out how she'd explain this without getting Lyla in too much trouble. She gave Lyla a tight smile as she walked over to the redwood doors.

Despite the fact Roxy was friends with all these men she still felt uncomfortable under their intense gaze in their offical space. She'd never been in the chapel during a meeting before, only ever having dropped something off to her dad or Juice while they were in there working. Even then it was a brief in and out. But now with the door shut behind her she stood nervously waiting for someone to say something.

"So what do ya know Rox?" Chibs was the one to speak and it seemed strange to Roxy for a moment to see him in her father's old spot.

She looked to Juice who nodded reassuringly, she'd defer to him in this situation, knowing as her Old Man he'd lead the way in this space.

"I know who's been talking to Gemma. And before I divulge who I just want to assure you it was a total accident and they didn't realise what they were doing while they did it." Roxy gushed. She knew the penalties for conversing with someone who'd been excommunicated. She'd seen it many times over the years. Lyla needed the club now more than ever given she was raising the two kids of a late member.

"We'll have a chat to them, see what their motives were before we decide anything." Chibs assured.

Roxy nodded and continued. "It was Lyla, she had to talk to Nero to tie up some legal shit for Diosa and she didn't even think about it when she told him about the wedding. She said it was a complete slip of the tongue and she's so sorry for it."

The men considered for a moment and Roxy looked to Juice who gave her another nod and a tight smile as he ashed his cigarette. She looked to Happy as well who had fixed her with his dark gaze for a moment before looking away in disgust when she met his eyes.

Chibs turned back to Roxy. "Ok we'll discuss then let you know."

Roxy turned to the door and stopped. "Please go easy on her. She needs the club, especially with Opie's kids in tow." She wanted to remind them of Lyla's longstanding loyalty to the club and hoped they kept that in mind when figuring out what to do.

Roxy sighed as she shut the door behind her and caught Lyla's worried gaze from across the room and made her way over to the girls again.

"What they say?" She asked worridley.

"They're gunna chat about it. I told them it was a mistake and you didn't mean it."

"Think they'll care?" She had tears in her eyes, knowing this wasn't good and was seen as a major breach of the club's trust, whether she meant it that way or not.

Roxy shrugged. "They better." She patted Lyla's hand reassuringly.

They didn't have to wait much longer to find out then as Tig opened the doors and called for Lyla and Roxy to come in. Lyla gave Roxy a panicked look as she stood to follow her into the chapel. Roxy just linked her arm in Lyla's and walked with her to the door.

Lyla looked at anything but the faces of the men she'd unwittingly betrayed until Roxy gave her arm a squeeze. Lyla finally brought her gaze up to meet Chibs' and waited for him to speak.

"Look we know you didn't go behind the club's back or try to do any of this shit on purpose. But ye can't be sayin shit to Nero. You know he'll tell Gemma and she's to have nothing to do with this club and it's members, especially Jax and Roxy."

"I know and I am so sorry. I honestly never thought. I just get along with Nero so well and he's really looked after me and helped me with the whole Diosa/RedWoody transition. I've gone from porn slut to legitimate business woman with his guidance. I'm eternally grateful for the club's support and wouldn't be here without you guys so please know I'd never do anything to purposely hurt the club, or you Roxy." She turned to Roxy and gave her a little smile before looking back to Chibs.

Jax spoke up next though. "Thanks Lyla. I know Ope would be proud of everything you've achieved." He gave a little wink at Lyla in reassurance."

"Aye, that he would." Chibs agreed with murmured agreements from the rest of the men.

Juice gave Roxy a small smile before turning back to Chibs to listen to him speak. "Now we just have to figure out how we handle it if Gemma does come back for the wedding."

"We'll leave you guys to it." Roxy stated and moved for the door.

"Nah don't stress. We'll chat about it later lads. We got other shit to do right now." They all nodded at Chibs' words and he dismissed them from the table.

Roxy waited outside the door for Happy, wanting to try sneak a word in to him to explain to him what happened with Harley. She thought it might clear things up maybe, knowing Happy thought she'd blabbed to everyone.

He was quick though and snuck past in the crowd towards the dorm hallway. Roxy saw that Harley was distracted and took her chance. Juice saw Roxy chasing after Happy and knew that was a bad idea, not trusting how angry Happy seemed to be, so he took off after them.

"Hap, can we talk? Please?" Happy tensed at the sound of Roxy's voice but turned to face her.

"Don't know what can say." He growled.

Roxy nodded. "Please, I'll explain everything." She gestured to his room.

Juice ran down the hallway and stopped her before she entered Happy's room. "What do you think you're doing?"

Roxy stood in the doorway. "I just need to talk to him. In private." She gestured to the room. "It's ok."

"You can't do it in front of me?" He seemed annoyed.

"Look it's to do with Harley, just let me?" She pleaded.

Juice sighed and turned to Happy who was scowling at the couple from his seat on the edge of his bed. "You so much as lay a finger on her or even raise your fucking voice and I'll slit your fucking throat." He threatened.

Roxy was taken aback with the seriousness in his tone, she'd never heard him so fierce before, but Juice didn't trust Happy right now. Not after his outburst this morning.

"You have my word brother." Happy grunted. He'd never hurt a woman on purpose. Pushing Harley that morning had been a complete accident. He just wanted away from her and hadn't realised his own strength when he twisted out of her grip.

Juice nodded and kissed Roxy's cheek briefly before letting her shut the door behind him.

Roxy paced slightly before starting. "Please don't be angry with me, or Harley. But she did tell me some things... about you." Happy let out a low growl in response and lit up a cigarette, making Roxy wish she had one of her own. She'd not had one all day, which was great, but the cravings were starting to add to her stress at their current predicament with Gemma.

Happy saw her watching him and offered her one, which she accepted graciously, sitting down on the little chair and pulling it over to face him. "I'm cutting back but going cold turkey is too stressful for the baby apparently." Happy just nodded in response as she lit up her smoke. "She didn't tell me to betray your trust-"

"-lotta that going around." He interjected. Referencing Lyla's betrayal of the club.

Roxy nodded. "I know. But it wasn't gossip Happy. She's... she's stuck, upset, doubting herself. She doesn't know how to be what you need without sacrificing what she wants and it's killing her. She wants to be there for you coz she loves you dude-" Happy snapped his eyes up to her with that phrase but let her continue- "but she knows things are tough for you in that regard. Don't hate her, she just needed someone to talk to, help her sort through her head with it all." She lent forward and took him off guard by placing her hand on his knee. "I would never, _ever_ , gossip about something like that, or anything to do with your business. I've not told Juice and I'll never tell anyone. I swear to you right now you can trust my word. I just want to be there for my best friend."

Happy blew a long stream of smoke out as he considered her words. "Yeah. Ok."

Roxy knew she wouldn't get an apology off him but she could see it in his eyes and that was enough. She smiled at him slightly as she stood up.

"I'm sorry that happened to you Happy. I know what it's like to lose a baby. I know it's not the same circumstance but I can understand your pain and reluctance to move on. Just... go easy on Harley. She wants to be happy, Happy." She smirked and left the room, leaving Happy to contemplate her words.

xxx xxx

Juice paced anxiously at the top of the hallway, straining to hear for sounds of a struggle or something but didn't heard anything at all.

He jumped when Roxy opened the door and slipped out into the hallway and met Roxy halfway down.

"You ok?" He gushed.

"Yeah fine." She smiled and picked him on the cheek.

"What was that about?" Juice asked as he walked alongside her.

"Just clearing up some stuff that happened this morning." She stopped at the mouth to the barroom. "I can't tell you anything because it's not my place. But just know it's ok."

Juice looked her in the eye and nodded. She was telling the truth and provided she wasn't in danger he'd respect her right to privacy.

"So you reckon you'd slit Happy's throat, huh?" She smirked up at him.

"I don't give a shit who he is. Anyone fucks with you again and I swear to god I'll fucking gut them." He watched her stunned expression. "I ain't playin' Rox. I'll do anything to keep you safe."

Roxy took in the earnest look in his eyes and stood on her toes to push a kiss against his lips. "I love you." She mumbled against his lips. "Now please take me home because protective you is so fucking hot."

Juice smiled his mega watt grin and pulled her body against his. "That right?"

She kissed his neck and moved up to his ear. "Yeah, gets me so wet..." she bit his earlobe causing Juice to growl.

"Get a fucking room!" Tig joked as he walked past. They were in view of the barroom so Roxy chuckled and de-tangled herself from Juice before taking him by the hand and tugging him along behind her.

"Take me home Juicy pants." She winked at him.

Juice slipped his hands around her waist as he followed along behind her.

"Hey!" Tara called as the two lovebirds approached the door. "We have a plan."

"A plan for what?" She asked.

Harley stepped in. "To save the wedding from Gemma's nosy eyes, and I think you'll like it."


	115. Chapter 115

**A/N: thanks for the reviews and thoughts/suggestions! Loving it all.**

 **Next chapter is some debauchery at the Bachelor/ette Parties then wedding time! Finally some love for Juicy babes.**

 **Please review, I love hearing what you think. Had a shit week at work and writing is a fun escape made sweeter by knowing you guys enjoy it!**

 **So without further ado, here we go!**

"What?!" Roxy couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"We move the wedding. I know it's crazy and it's only a week away but Eureka would be perfect! Right where Juice proposed, Gemma won't know and it'll be a great trip." Harley explained again.

"You're crazy." Juice stated simply.

"A little. But you love it." Harley smirked. "Tell me you don't think this is a good idea." She teased.

"It'll be great but Harley... there's so much to do." Roxy warned.

"It's ok. We got it. Beach wedding? It'll be beautiful."

Lyla interjected. "I'll get the permits for an outside wedding. I'm sure we can find a celebrant somewhere."

Quinn had joined the group and interrupted the conversation. "Tacoma have someone they use for clubhouse weddings. Could get him?"

"Yes!" Harley exclaimed. "Make the call Quinn!" She ordered. Quinn chuckled and nodded before taking out his cell and walking off.

"You sure about this babe?" Juice turned to Roxy with worry.

"It's crazy... but it'll be great." She smiled. Juice nodded and bent down for a kiss.

Roxy saw Harley's eyes narrow as she spotted Happy coming out of the dorm hallway.

"I had a chat to him." Roxy whispered lowly.

Harley's eyebrows shot up. "What he say?"

"Not much. Go chat. I told him I didn't say a thing. Just you needed someone to talk to."

Harley nodded and decided to get up and make her way to him at the bar.

She cleared her throat when she got close enough and Happy slowly turned to her. "Can we talk?" She almost whispered.

Happy sighed and shot the whisky Rat had sat in front of him. "Sure." He gestured back to the dorms and Harley followed his lead.

As soon as he shut the dorm door she turned to him with pleading eyes. "I promise you I didn't tell anyone else and I'm so sorry to break your trust I just needed to talk to someone and I trust Roxy with my life. I know I shouldn't have but-"

Happy cut her off with his lips and Harley was stunned. "Sorry I flew off the handle. Just don't need the guys knowing my shit. With what I do for the club it's not wise to have everyone knowing something like that."

"I get it." She nodded.

Happy sat on the bed and pulled her down with him. "Is what she said true?"

"Depends on what she said." Harley mumbled.

"That you're worried about losing what you want?"

Harley took a sharp intake of breath but didn't say anything for a moment. When she finally spoke it was soft. "I told you I wouldn't pressure you. But... I do want all those things Hap. I want that commitment, the whole ride or die thing. I want to know that you want me and only me and that you can see something for our future together. Then there the whole kids thing. I do want to be a mom one day." She looked up to his face and tried to gauge his reaction, but as usual he gave nothing away.

Eventually Happy rubbed his hand over his face. He knew it was time to move on and Harley was perfect for him. He knew that he couldn't let her slip through his fingers. He'd never be able to handle seeing her with someone else.

"It's not gunna be easy for me. But I don't want to lose you." Harley smiled at his words. "I'm not promising everything yet, just bear with me. But I do want to make you my Old Lady."

Harley was stunned. Of all the possible outcomes of this conversation that had not been one she thought of.

"You're serious?"

"Yeah... I never thought I'd be serious about someone again but there's no one else I'd want to give my crow to. If you think you can handle the shit I do for the club then I want you with me."

"I've grown up in this babe. I know what all this means and I'm down." She smirked.

"Good." He pulled her in for a kiss. "I got my tattoo shit in here. Give me some time to come up with a design and I'll ink you tonight girl." He rasped.

"Where do you want it?" She stroked his chest as she spoke.

Happy considered for a moment. "Just here, or on your chest, whatever you want." He stroked the spot on the inside of her arm just beneath her elbow. "Somewhere everyone will see it."

"No tramp stamp?" She chuckled.

"Mmm would be good to see it there while I fuck you but other guys need to know you're mine before it gets to that position."

"You're a classy man Lowman." Harley smirked, knowing doggy was his favourite position.

"You love it." He joked.

"I do." Harley confessed.

Happy was reminded of Roxy's other words that morning, about love, and shifted uncomfortably before making another comment to change the conversation.

"Maybe I'll stamp my name on you're ass while I'm at it. Seeing as it's mine."

Harley was slightly disappointed, thinking that would have been the perfect time for him to say the words, but it was gone.

"Whatever you want, Old Man."

xxx xxx

Juice had taken Roxy home after the excitement of the new wedding plans. She'd been throwing up again so he wanted to get her home to bed. Tara, Lyla, and Harley reckoned they had everything down for the wedding so he left them in charge.

To be honest he was pretty excited about the new plans. If he wasn't in such a rush he'd have suggested something like that in the beginning. He couldn't think of a better place to get married and he was thankful the girls had it under control.

"Y'know you don't need to stress so much." Roxy grumbled as they walked into their bedroom. "It's just morning sickness. Couple hours and I'll be fine."

"It's not even morning any more babe so why are you still being sick?" He was worried, not knowing it was really just part of the process.

"It's all to do with hormones. It can happen any time of the day or night. It's just more common in the morning due to your hormones being higher after sleeping and not having anything in your stomach over night. Hence why it's known as morning sickness." She sat on the bed to take off her shoes and shimmy out of her jeans. "I just need to keep some crackers by the bed for when I wake up in the morning and I'll be fine." She gave him a smile.

"Was it like this the last time?" He ventured.

"Yup. Glad you missed out on vomit city?" She chuckled. "Coz we're gunna be there for a few more weeks." She trailed her hand seductively up his arm. "Sexy, huh?"

Juice scowled. "You know I'm pissed I missed everything. Gross or not."

Roxy sighed as he sat next to her on the bed. "I know. Just gunna warn you now though, it's not gunna be a fun ride for a while." She stroked his thigh.

"You're always a fun ride baby." He smirked.

"Get lost Ortiz." She slapped his leg playfully. "I'm gunna have a nap. Go keep yourself busy."

"Fine. But if you start being sick again let me know."

Roxy rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

He left her to it and she eventually could hear the weight machine in the spare room, figuring he was working out again. She worried he'd hurt himself working out so much. Not that she was complaining. He just kept getting in better shape. Which set off some insecurities, now that she'd be getting more and more out of shape over the coming months. She wasn't fat or anything but she wasn't fit either, that was for damn sure. She barely ever worked out these days and her figure was soft. Not that Juice ever complained but it still didn't make her feel any better knowing she'd be getting bigger and bigger from here on out.

xxx xxx

With three days left till the wedding everyone was working hard. The guys still had to fit club business in around running around for the wedding and with it being moved to Eureka now that meant a couple days away from Charming so they had lots of loose ends to tie up.

They'd taken care of the Marks problem for good. Without his kill team and head of security he was rather unprotected. With that, the guys, along with the help of SAMTAC and Indian Hills, had managed to take him down. However they had to make sure they were leaving SAMCRO in a safe state before they upped and left for a few days.

Today and tomorrow were the last days in town before they made the run up the coast to Eureka the day before the wedding and most of the club was busy with tying things down.

Lyla, Harley, Happy, Quinn, and Tig had already gone up with some of the Nomads and SAMTAC to set things up. They'd all be staying at a Grim Bastards clubhouse up there and they'd kindly offered to host the wedding after TO asked. The Grim Bastards were a much smaller MC and worked with the SOA frequently. When the boys had gone up there the time Juice proposed that's who had been helping them out.

Roxy and Juice were staying in a nice hotel near the beach. Well, Juice was spending the night before the wedding at the GB clubhouse with the guys while the girls would get ready in the hotel. The boys were, naturally, throwing him a Bachelor Party and Roxy was slightly jealous.

The girls were going to have a low key Bachelorette Party for Roxy the night before the wedding seeing as she couldn't drink or do much else in the way of partying. But Juice was going to get wasted probably and knowing exactly what went on at MC Bachelor's Parties Roxy wasn't very happy.

"Why are you so glum?" Juice asked as he watched Roxy starting to pack for the trip.

Roxy shrugged and kept going with sorting through her clothes. Juice walked forward and stood in between her and the bed so she couldn't look at the suitcase any more.

"What's the big deal?" He asked as he cupped her face in his hands.

"Nothing." She was being short with him but she couldn't help it. "Just tired."

Juice shook his head, knowing she was lying to him. "Don't lie."

Roxy groaned in frustration. "It's just you get to have a Bachelor's Party and get all drunk and watch hot naked women prance around all night, probably get a lap dance or head or some shit and meanwhile I'll be stuck at the hotel being tired, and sick, and in bed by 8pm. It's not fair." Her eyes watered, and she blamed the hormones and being tired. She'd never known the meaning of exhaustion until she'd first gotten pregnant with Gabriel. The first trimester hits you _hard_.

"Wow whoa whoa whoa. Who the fuck says I'm getting lap dances and head?" Juice chuckled.

"I don't know." Roxy shrugged. "It's your Bachelor's Party and I know damn well what goes on there."

"Babe I'm not gunna get head off some random gash the night before our wedding. Or any night for that matter." He assured her.

"And lap dances?" She raised an eyebrow at his omission.

"I dunno. You know what the guys are like. They'll probably get me drunk and bully me into it. It's harmless. Won't do anything for me anyway."

Roxy scoffed and pushed his hands away from her face. "In that case I'm gunna take the girls up on their offer of a stripper. Have me a lap dance of my own."

"So long as he doesn't fucking touch you it'll be fine." He shrugged.

"Bit hard to give a lap dance without touching."

"He'll figure it out I'm sure. Won't really want the Sons after him when he finds out who's Old Lady you are."

Roxy sighed in frustration. "And you're gunna tell those bitches not to touch you while they're grinding all over you, tits in your face?" She scowled at him. "Y'know? Wouldn't want me coming after them when they find out who's Old Man you are." She said sarcastically, mocking his threat against her imaginary lap dancer.

Juice chuckled. "Look I'm not gunna touch any of them. Just let's have fun with our friends. I'll call you later in the night and we can have phone sex before bed. How's that sound? Then after the wedding I'll give you a lap dance. Touch you all I want."

Roxy rolled her eyes but couldn't stop the grin. "Fine Ortiz. But only coz you're cute."

"Damn right I am." He smirked and pulled her against his chest. "How about you give me one now though, show me how it's done." He sat down on the bed.

Roxy pushed him onto his back and straddled his waist. "I can think of something way more fun than that." She smirked as she sat back and unbuckled his belt.

Juice groaned as Roxy shifted his pants and boxers down to expose his semi hard dick. She quickly wrapped her small hand around it and started stroking slowly, up and down. Juice couldn't help but moan as he watched her go as he slowly hardened completely in her hand. He knew he was slightly bigger than average but when he watched Roxy's little hand trying to work him it certainly highlighted that fact and stroked his ego.

After a few minutes Roxy stood up slowly and shimmied out of her jeans and tank top before climbing back onto the bed, straddling him once more but capturing his lips in hers this time, slowly grinding down against him.

Juice reached up to rub her breasts through her bra, they were already more than a handful each and he couldn't imagine them getting any bigger with pregnancy. He pulled the cups of her bra down before pushing her breasts together and licking and sucking on her nipples.

Roxy moaned lowly at the sensation of Juice playing with her breasts while she grinded down, feeling his hard length through her panties. After a couple more minutes she couldn't take it any more and rolled off him to wriggle out of her panties.

Juice threw his pants to the floor, followed by his boxers and held himself over the top of her, smirking down at her flushed face. He knocked her legs apart so he could kneel between them and ran his finger tip over her clit a few times.

Roxy bucked against him and scowled at him playfully. "Quit teasing Juicy."

Juice chuckled and positioned himself to fill her slowly. Roxy gasped at the sensation and pulled him down to kiss her as he set a slow pace.

He nipped and sucked at Roxy's neck while one of his hands groped her breasts. After a few minutes she was writhing in pleasure underneath him, something he loved to see.

"You best be thinking of me at your party." She gasped out.

Juice smiled down at her. "Trust me, you're all I think about." He breathed. "No one else will ever compare to you." He picked up the pace. "You better not have any guy touching you up either."

Roxy shook her head. "You're the only one I want touching me." She was close to the edge and Juice could tell by the strain in her voice.

"Good. Coz no one else can make you feel like this, can they?" He watched for her to shake her head no, eyes shut in bliss. "No one else can make you cum like I can, right?"

"No!" Roxy gasped as she dug her nails into his back.

"C'mon then baby, show me how good I make you feel." He grunted, so close himself. He ran his hand back down her body to run slow circles on her most sensitive spot while he thrusted harder, his other elbow supporting his weight next to her head.

"Yes! Juan!" Roxy cried out, bucking against him, nails scratching down his shoulders.

Juice felt her pulsing around him and couldn't hold back any more. "Fuck.. Roxy!" He bowed his head and rested his forehead on the pillow next to hers as he slowed down.

Roxy slowly kissed his neck as he tried to catch his breath and he eventually rolled off her, a bead of sweat trickling down his forehead.

Roxy rolled over to face him, stroking his hair as she did. "You definitely have to call me the night before the wedding. Talk me through some of that, don't think I could wait."

xxx xxx

"Let's load these cases in then and hit the road." Chibs ordered the remaining members.

Everyone had met at the clubhouse to head up to Eureka together. Roxy was driving with Tara and the boys seeing as Juice didn't want her on the bike, but wouldn't let her drive her own car either, and she refused to go in the van with Rat as that would have meant Tara driving Wendy, which although they got along now would have just been a cruel punishment. Juice was a bit annoyed with that. He trusted Rat's driving more than Tara's, not that she was a bad driver, just the members had better skills from chases and stuff. It was the same reason he wouldn't have Roxy driver herself. But they were being escorted up there by all the bikes and Juice would be riding behind them so he was placated slightly by that.

Tara finished strapping the boys in the car as the last of the cases were chucked in the van. Juice made his way over to Roxy who was having a last smoke before the drive. She'd cut down to 3 a day. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And had cut down to the lowest nicotine content as well so she figured in the next few weeks she'd give up all together. Juice knew he should quit too in support of her, or at least cut down, but with his anxiety and OCD at the moment Roxy told him it would be the straw that broke the camel's back.

"Ride safe baby." She patted his chest and gave him a sweet kiss when he finally approached her.

Juice wrapped his arms around her and deepened his next kiss. Eventually he pulled back when Chibs hollered at them to get going. "Just behave in the car. Make sure Tara pays attention."

Roxy could see the anxiety in his eyes, it wasn't just a boyfriend being worried about his girlfriend, it was full blown, uncontrollable anxiety for whatever the day would bring.

Roxy placed her hands on his cheeks, stroking softly with her thumbs. "I promise you everything is going to be fine." She kissed him. "Deep breaths baby and I'll see you when we refuel. We'll be ok. I love you."

Juice nodded and closed his eyes as he took in a deep breath. Roxy had been growing more worried recently and vowed that as soon as they got back she'd be asking Joey's advice on Juice's mental health. She couldn't have him going off the deep end again, especially not with the baby on the way.

By the time they rolled out of the lot Roxy was buzzing with nervous energy.

"We going wedding Aunty Rox!" Abel chattered excitedly. "Uncle Juice wedding!" Abel loved Juice, much to Jax's chargrin before they came to their recent peace.

"Yes Abey Baby. Wedding in Eureka!" She cheered.

"Eekah!" Thomas cheered in return.

Tara and Roxy shared a laugh before focusing on the road. Roxy ended up laughing as they drove down Main Street.

"What's so funny?" Tara queried.

"I feel like a queen." She gestured to the escort. Chibs, Jax, and TO were leading while Juice, and the Indian Hills guys followed Tara and Roxy, then behind them was the van, and behind the van Roxy's car being driven by some dude from SAMTAC, followed by a random assortment of patches from various other charters.

"Suppose you are kind of the queen now. Only other Old Lady of the club and I'm the Old Lady of a disgraced ex president so I think you take precedence." Tara joked.

"He's not disgraced Tara. Stop thinking so lowly of yourself."

"I don't mind. I like it better now. We were so on the rocks before all that went down. All I wanted was out, I felt like it was the only safe option seeing as Jax had gone back on his word about the presidency. And despite everything that's happened with you, Bobby, and Juice, I feel like this is a fresh start for us. For Charming, really."

"I'm glad Tara. It would really suck with you not around."

xxx xxx

By the time they made it to the hotel in Eureka it was early afternoon. Despite their reasonably early start time they'd had to stop a few more times than planned. Abel and Thomas did not enjoy the long car ride and of course when the car stopped the whole convoy had to stop, then everyone would take a piss and smoke break so it was usually a good 45 minutes to an hour before they'd be back on the road.

Roxy had wished they'd been quicker for Juice's sake. He was practically hyperventilating at one of the stops because they'd had a bit of an issue with some other dickhead driver. At first Juice had thought perhaps it was an ambush but it turned out to just be some asshole.

Juice unlocked their room with and helped Roxy in with her bags. This was the nicest room the hotel had and Juice had rented it for tonight and the night of the wedding. The day after the wedding they'd be jumping on the end of the convoy with Roxy's car and stopping in Sanfrancisco for their honeymoon.

"Oh wow Juice. This is a beautiful room." Roxy surveyed the lush furnishings and big floor to ceiling window that looked out onto the beach. They could almost see the wedding area from here and it was a 10 minute ride from the Bastard's clubhouse so at least the guys were not far away.

The rest of the girls were staying here for Roxy's Bachelorette Party. They were having it in the hotel bar's function room, even though it'd be a small gathering, unlike Juice's. Some of the crow eaters were coming to Roxy's, the older ones that she got along with. However the newer, younger girls and sweetbutts were making their way up to 'host' at the Bachelor Party. Roxy had vowed already to Juice that if he was gunna get his dick sucked or whatever by anyone tonight that if it was a Charming girl Roxy would be doing some damage to both of them. At least if he was gunna do it it should be with someone Roxy would never have to see again. It was bad enough with Crystal, she didn't want the skanks in Charming to get any ideas about Juice like she did.

Roxy sighed and threw her purse on the bed. She was still frustrated about his party. She knew what kind of debauched business was going to happen and she just wished she could believe Juice when he said he wouldn't touch the girls. It made her angry that she thought this way the night before her wedding, then sad to remember the reasons why she was slow to trust him in this situation. He'd given her plenty of reasons.

"What's wrong?" He asked as he put the bags down on the luggage stand.

Roxy sighed. "Just don't want you to go tonight." She mumbled.

"I kinda have to go, it's my party." He chuckled as he made his way over.

"Yeah, I know." She sat on the bed. "Just being selfish."

"You're allowed to be." He sat next to her and slipped some of her hair behind her ear so he could see her face. "But I love you Rox. I get to marry you tomorrow and I literally could not be happier. I'm not gunna fuck it up."

"Promise?" She whispered.

"Promise." He tilted her head up and pulled her in for a kiss. A kiss that soon deepened and intensified. "I love you." He mumbled during kisses.

"Love you too." Roxy managed to get out before pushing him back on the bed and straddling him. "Time for a quickie? Last one before we're married and all sexual activity stops."

Juice sat up as best he could and pushed his lips against hers before chuckling. "Baby I could never stop this with you. Ain't gunna happen."

Roxy ground her hips down against his. "Next time I see you I'll be wearing a white dress." She kissed down his neck.

"You're gunna look so beautiful." He pulled her face up to his so he could kiss her again, flipping her over so he was back on top. "Always look so beautiful Rox..." he mumbled against her skin.

"Even when I'm a fat, pregnant, whale?" She chuckled, still insecure of her body in comparison to his.

Juice pulled away and looked down at her. "Where's this coming from? Of course you'll still be beautiful."

"I dunno. It's just... you're just... I dunno. Hot property I guess." She ran her fingers absentmindedly down his pecs.

Juice shook his head. "I think you don't realise how outta my league you are, you've always been. The amount of guys I've wanted to smack over the years for checking you out. Or making comments like why you're with someone like me. Fuck. I'm never gunna stop thinking you're gorgeous and that I don't deserve you."

Roxy couldn't help but let a few tears out, she was just tired and emotional really. But his words hit a chord in her. He was just as insecure as she was sometimes. So she pushed up and kissed him once again, trying to show as much passion as possible.

"Plus you're gunna be carrying my baby... again... ain't nothin sexier than that." Roxy giggled against him as he playfully growled and kissed down her body. "Now, we got 20 minutes till I gotta leave. So let's make the most of it future Mrs. Ortiz."


	116. Chapter 116

**A/N: sorry it took so long. Works been kicking my ass since I started back. Ended up writing this like a paragraph at a time over the last week haha.**

 **Thanks as always to the reviewers! Please continue! Helps with motivation while I write and get stuck.**

 **Hopefully you enjoy the chapter ;)**

Juice had left Roxy when the girls came storming up to their room. Luckily they'd had a chance to have sex in peace before the sound of Harley's excited squealing could be heard in the corridor outside the room. She'd let herself in with the spare room key and shoved Juice out after he just managed to pull his kutte back on.

"You look so freaking hot Roxy!" Lyla squealed.

Roxy looked down at herself and remembered that fateful night she'd gone out with Lyla, Harley, and Ima back when she first got to Charming. She'd freaked out at wearing a revealing dress back then and if she could only imagine the dress she was wearing today she'd probably have had a heart attack!

Roxy looked back in the mirror as Lyla fluffed her hair out some more and patted her shoulders reassuringly. Roxy eyes the tight black dress and worried for a moment that the peep hole cleavage was maybe too much, but the bra did do her girls justice so she shrugged off her insecurities. Her make up was on point, thanks to Lyla, sexy smokey eye and plump red lips, her hair was touseled to perfection and looking down her frame from where her black dress ended mid thigh she could see silky smooth legs finished in black pumps with a silver heel.

Lyla looked equally gorgeous in a silver number and Harley was dressed to impress in red Happy's crow proudly on display on the inside of her arm, Tara had even relented and put on a slightly flowy, tunic style black dress that was still sexy.

"We have to take a photo, when will we ever be this dressed up again?" Harley laughed. She grabbed Roxy's phone from the bedside table and they all preened in the big mirror before Harley positioned her arm to catch all of them in the mirror.

They squealed and laughed some more at how they looked and pouted for the camera. Eventually Harley handed the phone back to Roxy and clapped her hands together.

"Right, lets go ladies." Harley motioned to everyone to grab their stuff.

"I just gotta pee." Roxy grabbed her purse and phone and Harley groaned.

"Make it quick."

Roxy didn't really have to pee. But she wanted to send Juice a photo, just remind him she was thinking of him. She started by sending the group shot for him to show the guys, but then did her own quick photo shoot.

xxx xxx

The party at the Bastard's clubhouse was just getting started. Juice was sitting with Happy, Jax, Tig, and TO while the sweetbutts organised drinks. Juice was excited to have some fun with his brothers tonight but was unsure about the ladies. He knew how worried Roxy was and he didn't want to let too loose and upset her.

When his phone buzzed with a message he pulled it out instantly and saw it was from Roxy. He chuckled as he looked at the group shot of all the girls and beckoned Happy and Jax to have a look.

"Shit." Happy muttered. "Guess the girls plan on having as much fun as we do tonight." He grumbled.

The guys laughed a bit more but then the next picture message popped up and Juice couldn't close it quick enough and Happy and Jax copped an eyeful of Roxy's playful smirk, cleavage and dirty caption before he locked his phone.

"I don't wanna see that shit bro." Jax grumbled before smacking Juice on the back of his head before walking away.

Happy just clapped Juice on the shoulder and gave another chuckle before turning his attention back to the stripper pole. Leaving Juice to go in peace to reopen his phone and reply to Roxy's question with a photo of his own.

xxx xxx

"Oh my god!" Tara exclaimed. "This is wild!"

Roxy laughed at Tara's enjoyment. Simple things seemed to be fun for her. The hotel function room was surprisingly full, there was only Roxy's small crew that she knew of but also some of the Charming Crow Eaters and RedWoody and Diosa girls in attendance. It had surprised Roxy that they came to her party rather than the guys. But she had been making friends slowly with them in recent months. Plus Harley had gone out of her way to make tonight fun for Roxy. Some of the sweetbutts had followed them up but gone to help host the Bachelor's party, none of them wanting to pass up the opportunity that came from having so many charters in one place. Plus it was appropriate etiquette for SAMCRO to bring some girls up to help with the party. The Crow Eaters, however, knew their place a bit more, they were slightly more up the ladder and were in the club for the long haul one way or another so this was more their place. Plus the sweetbutts weren't invited to the wedding whereas the Eaters were so they knew they'd have their chance to snag a man there tomorrow night. The sweetbutts would be cleaning the clubhouse in the morning before the Eaters decorated for the reception and then the sweetbutts were to be gone.

Tara was currently doing a body shot off one of the topless waiters, having the time of her life seeing as they'd brought Elyda to babysit the boys. Roxy just laughed as she watched the carry on around her.

Luckily the morning sickness had kept itself at bay tonight and she was able to let her hair down, dancing with Harley and Lyla for a good portion of the evening.

Roxy was currently sitting at the bar sipping on her alcohol free cocktail... totally enjoying that while she watched everyone else let loose. But Harley came bounding in from the door, super excited, and called for everyone's attention.

"Now it's the part of the night that everyone was waiting for!" She turned and introduced the man walking through the door, dressed as a cop of all things, Roxy had to have a laugh at Harley's choice.

The man, referred to as Rocky, which didn't escape Roxy's notice in name similarities, was Latino. His skin colouring was not dissimilar to Juice's and he seemed to have all the beef and muscle definition Roxy was familiar with on Juice's frame. Though Rocky was slightly taller and more agile looking than Juice.

The crowd of girls erupted in a fit of giggles and Harley made her way over to Roxy with a wad of bills as Rocky started the music and began working the crowd. Roxy had to laugh at the scene which seemed like it was straight out of Magic Mike, a film Juice was not impressed Roxy had watched so much but hey, Channing Tatum was every girls fantasy.

The bartenders dimmed the lights slightly and cranked the music, appreciating the break from the out of control women now that their attention was elsewhere. Roxy didn't think they realised just how crazy MC women could be when they agreed to have the party here.

The girls circled the stripper like a pack of rabid dogs but eventually the time came and Rocky beckoned Roxy to the centre of the crowd as he'd gotten a chair ready for her personal dance.

Roxy scowled at Harley and Lyla as they pulled her forward and pushed her down onto the seat. Roxy covered her eyes as Nelly's The Fix started blasting over the speakers, unable to keep from erupting into a fit of giggles as Rocky started pulling the moves in front of her. He still worked the crowd but his sole focus now was on Roxy and it made her slightly uncomfortable but she couldn't help but get lost in the atmosphere.

When he stripped off his shirt and dangled the furry police handcuffs in front of her she couldn't help but giggle again under the intense gaze of Rocky's eyes.

xxx xxx

It was pushing midnight when Juice was finally drunk enough to be talked in to a lap dance. The boys from Indian Hills had been winding him up all night and Tig was practically pouring Jacks down his throats at every opportunity. He was just thankful the actual wedding was scheduled for the evening, otherwise he didn't think he'd make it there sober enough.

They'd been planted in front of the stripper poles for a while now, just joking and laughing, Juice copping it for settling down though no one took it too far knowing what the couple had been through in recent months. At the end of the day no one could disagree that Roxy made a good Old Lady. They knew she was daughter of a First Nine and that she'd grown up around the club, plus those that met her knew she was solid and she loved Juice.

So Juice was enjoying the jovial ribbing, if anything it served to show him how good things were for him now and that his place in the club was solid despite its recent battering.

Juice looked around him watching Jax being fawned over by some sweetbutts, Chibs and Tig hovering nearby setting up Juice's lap dance with glee in their eyes and Happy was near by with a sweetbutt of his own sitting on his lap. He briefly wondered how far he would take it seeing as he'd made Harley his Old Lady now, he couldn't help but feel slightly protective over Harley, she'd been good to Roxy and didn't deserve to be fucked around on. Then again he didn't know what arrangement they had come to behind closed doors so he let it go.

Before he knew it Candy was on the pole in front of him, she sent him a wink before nodding to one of the other girls to start her music and Britney Spear's Gimme More blasted through the room. The guys whooped around them as the two other poles were filled with Candy's girls and they broke into a well choreographed routine. The three of them had been hired by the Bastards for tonight but were frequents at the clubhouse so they knew exactly what to do. The two blondes on Candy's either side kept the attention of the rest of the guys as the brunette made her way down to Juice.

After stripping down to her lingerie in front of him Candy twirled and moved sexily to the beat before straddling Juice on the sofa.

He hadn't heard from Roxy in a while but tried to push all thoughts of her out of his mind while Candy ground down on his lap, not wanting to bitch out in front of everyone he focused all of his energy on Candy, which wasn't hard when her tits were literally in his face, as Roxy predicted.

xxx xxx

By the time Rocky had made it to his skimpy underwear Roxy was practically beet red. She had no idea what she was supposed to do, then she figured Juice was probably enjoying the same so she threw caution to the wind and allowed Rocky to trail her hand down his defined chest and over his abs. The girls all shrieked with glee and Roxy blushed intensely as the song started wrapping up and another beat replaced it. Roxy could feel Rocky against her thigh and she'd be lying if she said it didn't turn her on, but she had no intentions of doing anything with anyone else, despite fleeting thoughts of what Juice may be up to right now at the clubhouse.

She was startled from her thoughts by Rocky's breathy whisper in her ear. "We could go somewhere else for a more private show if you like?" He bucked against her ever so slightly so she didn't misinterpret the meaning behind his words.

Roxy giggled. "I don't think that's a good idea. But thanks." She smiled sweetly at him.

"Sure? We could have a bit of fun on your last night of freedom."

Roxy chuckled again but pushed him back slightly with her hand. "I'm flattered but no. Plus I'm pregnant, only fun I'm having after this is sleep."

Rocky nodded and gave her a winning grin. "Worth a try huh? You're smokin' hot, and pretty cute so can't blame me for giving it a shot." He winked and dismounted while the girls continued to throw some more money at him.

Roxy gave him another smile as she walked back over to Lyla, Tara, and Harley.

"Enjoy?" Harley asked with a smirk. Roxy laughed and nodded, fanning herself slightly in the heat of the room. "What was all that about?"

Roxy raised an eyebrow. "Like you don't know." She'd told Harley all her insecurities earlier and her fear over what Juice might get up to that night and figured Harley probably slipped the guy some extra to make Roxy feel better.

"Uhhh no?" Harley looked genuinely confused.

"Oh, he propositioned me, shall we say, and when I turned him down he complimented me profusely. Figured you had something to do with that." Roxy mumbled, accepting a water from Tara.

Harley held her hands up in surrender. "Babe I don't have to do shit for a guy to think you're hot."

Roxy smiled and nodded. "Fair enough."

The girls laughed and joked a bit about spending a night with Rocky but eventually Roxy couldn't ignore how tired she was.

"I gotta go to bed ladies before I pass out." She was met with a chorus of pleas to stay but when the group gathered round her she told them all to party enough for her and continued to the door.

Tara walked her to her room and bid her goodnight and Roxy stumbled blindly to the big bed, wishing Juice was there to share it with her. She didn't have the energy to do more than kick her shoes off and send Juice a message before she passed out.

 _I couldn't stay awake any more. I know I said we'd call but I don't wanna interrupt your party. I love you so much and I cannot wait for tomorrow and every day after that. Enjoy yourself baby, but not too much ;) xxxx - R_

xxx xxx

Juice thanked Candy and managed to dodge her offers of more, despite the raging hard on straining against his jeans. When it was safe enough he picked himself up and managed to stumble to the bathrooms at the back of the bar to have a piss. Thankful his wood had gone down.

After he finished he leaned against the sink for a second and checked his phone, Roxy had messaged and he smiled thinking about her all wrapped up in the comforter in bed and wished he was there with her.

He splashed some cold water on his face in a futile attempt to sober up slightly when the door opened behind him. Seeing as it was the male toilets he figured it was one of his brothers coming in to piss. But when he looked up in the mirror his stomach fell through the floor.

Crystal.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" He bellowed as he turned around and crowded her back against the wall.

Crystal looked up at him, slightly scared but steadied herself against his gaze. "I just wanted to see you."

"You realise this is my fucking Bachelor's Party right? I'm getting married tomorrow?" Crystal nodded slowly. "Then why the fuck are you here? How did you know?"

Crystal sighed and looked down at her hands before back up to his face. "I moved up here with a friend who was a sweetbutt for the Bastards in Lodi. After-" she gestured between them- "what happened between us she took me off on her fresh start with her."

Juice was too drunk for this conversation, he slammed his hand on the wall beside her face, getting as close as he could to threaten her. "There was no fucking us. I _never_ cared about you. It was just a means to an end when my head was fucked up. Get this through your head you stupid slut. I'm marrying Roxy tomorrow and that's it. You are just a fucking mistake I never want to think of again. Got it?"

Crystal nodded her head shakily. He wouldn't usually have been so aggressive but this bitch didn't quit. He was panicking and he could feel an attack coming on just visioning what Roxy would do when she found out about this. The sweetbutts would know Crystal was here and they'd talk, Roxy would find out eventually and it wouldn't be good.

"I'm sorry." She finally spoke. "I really am. I just wanted to know if there was any hope. Guess I just deluded myself into think there was something there wasn't." She turned to walk away and Juice let her while he tried to calm his mind.

"You're damn right you're deluded. We fucked a handful of times, sure we talked but there was fuck all relationship there. You're crazy if you thought it was more than that."

Crystal just shrugged. "Maybe. I guess I've just spent too long in this life to think I'd be worth more than that."

Before Juice could respond she was gone and he slid down against the wall and put his head between his knees. Why did every mistake he ever made just keep haunting him. He finally thought he was going to get his happy ever after and now this happens. He could see it all crumbling in front of his eyes when Roxy found out the truth.

He didn't notice the door opening again and Jax slide down the wall next to him. "Saw Crystal, bro." He muttered, causing Juice to jump when he realised he wasn't alone.

Juice ran a hand through his hair and slowly rubbed it along Roxy's name on his neck. Briefly thinking of Kozik and his ex wife's name on his neck, forever reminding him of how he fucked up. He shook his head to forget that fallen brother.

"Nothing happened man. I swear. Crazy bitch followed me in here." Juice didn't even have the energy to plead with Jax to believe him, so he was monotonous in his explanation.

"I know. I heard it all. Took care of it for ya. Sweetbutts won't say shit."

Juice looked at Jax trying to tell if there was another motive or not. "Thanks..."

Jax nodded. "I swear there's no ulterior here bro. Roxy deserves to be happy after everything she's been through. Fuck, you deserve it after everything I put you through. I won't fuck it up for you now."

Juice turned to look at Jax. "Thanks man."

Jax nodded and passed him an unlit joint. "If you sneak out the back you can probably walk it to the hotel in 10 minutes. Smoke this on the way. Send me a text when you get there."

Juice accepted the joint and allowed Jax to help him stand. "Thanks."

"Any time, brother." They shared a hug and Jax sent Juice on his way, knowing the joint and walk would help calm him down.

And then he sent the Bastard's Prospect to tail him in a car to make sure he got there ok.

xxx xxx

Juice finally made it to the hotel, he was super drunk but his need to see Roxy pushed him and he eventually stumbled into the lobby some time before 2am. He shook off the concierge's stare and pulled out his room keycard and took the lift up to their floor.

He could vaguely hear giggling from the room Tara, Lyla, and Harley were staying in next to theirs and figured they were keeping the party going.

Juice quietly unlocked the door and softly closed it behind him, praying his sneaking skills wouldn't wake Roxy up. He was thankful for Roxy leaving a light on as he kicked off his boots and laid his kutte on the armchair in front of the make up desk and moved over toward the bed as he carefully slid his belt buckle down. Just as he was pulling off his tshirt Roxy sensed the movement in the room and grabbed the Glock off the night stand.

"Juan?!" She whisper shouted. "You nearly gave me a fucking heart attack. Christ!" She scowled at him. "What are you doing here?"

He moved over to the bed now, clad in nothing but his boxers. Roxy pulled the comforter back revealing her sexy black dress and he gulped audibly at the sight.

"I wanted to see you. Couldn't wait till tomorrow." He lay down on the bed and pulled her to him. "I missed you." He stroked her arm as he bent down to kiss her.

Roxy woke up some more with the kiss and when he pulled back she smiled.

"Would have been more romantic if you weren't covered in booty glitter." She quirked an eyebrow.

Juice looked bashfully down at his chest and forearms that were glistening slightly in the glow from the lamp. "Blame Tig and Chibs." He offered as response.

"And to what do I owe this midnight call? You know I'm getting married tomorrow." She winked.

"Like I said. Couldn't wait." He pushed over the top of her and pinned her to the bed with his body, slowly kissing down toward her chest. "So fucking sexy." He mumbled against her skin. "Sending me that picture just forced me to come back here."

"I'm glad. Phone sex just wouldn't have been the same." She breathed as he got lower on her body.

Juice lifted his head up, still drunk he was goofier than normal. "Who said we're having sex? I just needed a comfy bed." He grinned up at her.

"Fine. If you don't finish this I'll just take care of myself." She shrugged and moved a hand down her body to join his in her panties, now he'd hiked her dress up.

Feeling Roxy's hand move under his as he guided her teasing motions was the biggest turn on. Before long he had her panting his name and begging for some sort of release. Juice pulled her up as he kneeled back on his ankles and pulled the dress from her body, almost dying when he saw the black lace bra covering her tits.

Before Roxy could say or do anything he'd pushed her back onto the bed, taking his time with each breast while trying not to cum in his boxers.

Roxy was aware he was almost painfully hard as she moved against him for friction but Juice was making no moves to speed things along. Not that she was complaining.

Juice just wanted to take this slow, really make her feel good. Seeing Crystal tonight had brought up a lot of bad memories and thoughts and he just wanted to get rid of them. Throwing himself into Roxy's pleasure helped stifle them a bit, but not enough.

"Please baby." Roxy begged from beneath him, he'd gotten lost in his head while working Roxy up and it had probably dragged on enough.

Releasing her hands from where he'd somehow pinned them with one of his hands above her head he pushed his boxers to the side and moved to fill her.

Roxy ran her hand down his stomach towards him before he could and she grasped his large cock in her small hand, fingers wrapped delicately around him, yet applying just the right amount of pressure.

"Let me-" she began.

"- no. I just need you. Now." He urgently pushed her down, cutting off any suggestion of prolonging their union. He needed to be with her right now, anchor the feeling of her being his before it all spiralled away again.

Juice was slow and passionate, desperate even, in their lovemaking. Roxy enjoyed it, loved any time she spent with him, but right now was concerning. He came back covered in stripper paint and pushed her to bed with him in an almost frantic way. It wasn't like Juice and she knew there must be something on his mind when he acted like this.

"I love you baby." She whispered between thrusts. "So much. Never leaving you. No matter what." She continued.

Juice bowed his head to the crook of her neck while he continued, whispering over and over in her ear. "I love you. I'll love you forever. Don't ever leave me. I won't manage without you. I love you."

Roxy couldn't do much with him right now so she pulled his face to her so she could kiss him, not missing the little tear shed as they kissed.

"C'mon baby. Show me how much you love me." She cooed and encouraged him to speed up. She'd never seen him so vulnerable before and it scared her slightly. So all she could focus on right now was enjoying this moment of connection before it all finished.

Eventually Juice found his rhythm again and the sheer passion and emotion when she came almost had Roxy crying too. She didn't know why this time felt like this but she'd never been so emotional.

When Juice rolled over and lay next to her she crawled into his side and kissed whatever she could reach of him. "Tell me what's wrong Juan Carlos." She said firmly.

Juice looked at her then back to the ceiling, taking a deep breath before talking. "I had to tell you before someone else did. But I wanted to be with you first in case this changes everything."

"Okayyy." Roxy was starting to worry now. She didn't realise that was a goodbye fuck. She prodded him to continue.

"Crystal fucking showed up there tonight, cornered me in the bathroom." Roxy shuddered against him and pulled back, petrified of his next words. "I told her to fuck off but she's crazy. I managed to get her out of there in the end. Jax helped, he heard us arguing and when I sent her out he got rid of her then helped me rein in the panic attack. I'm so sorry Roxy. I didn't know. And if you want to leave I don't blame you. I just keep fucking this up-"

"- you didn't fuck anything up babe." Roxy lent up on her elbow so she could see his face. "Crystal is in our past. Where she needs to stay. You did that tonight. Then you came to me. That's all that matters babe."

The look of relief on Juice's face was almost cartoon like as he tried to school his drunk features into complying. Roxy couldn't help but place a kiss on his lips.

"So you won't leave me?" He questioned with big childlike eyes.

"Never babe. From now on it's you and me. Forever."

Juice let the panic ease as her words washed over them. Roxy continued telling him everything she imagined them doing once they married and eventually he drifted into a peaceful sleep.


	117. Chapter 117

**A/N: omg I'm so sorry! This is the longest I've ever gone between updates!! Almost 10 days!!! I am so sorry. I got so stuck with this chapter and whenever the inspiration came I didn't have the time to write! Ahh!**

 **My apologies and I hope it's ok. Part II of their wedding to follow soon.**

 **Please let me know what you think!**

 **xxx xxx**

Roxy and Juice eventually made it out of their shower, just in time for Juice to dress before Harley barged in the room. Roxy was covered by her dressing gown and Juice had once again just pulled his kutte on before her intrusion.

"Ortiz!!! What are you doing here?!?" Harley scolded as she walked in with Lyla, arms full of makeup and hair products. "You're not supposed to see the bride on the big day."

Juice just smirked and pulled Roxy in for a deep kiss before turning back to Harley. "Hate to break it to ya babe but I've done a lot more than just see her this morning."

"Too much information." Harley scowled. "You need to leave. It's already 10am and we got lots to do."

Juice sighed and Roxy wrapped her arms around his waist and tilted her head up for a kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too." Juice leaned down and brushed his lips against hers before using his hand to pull her head forward for a more passionate kiss.

They started getting carried away again until Harley interrupted them. "Ewww enough we get it. You're in love."

Lyla giggled and kept setting up the makeup area, slightly sad as she remembered the morning of her and Opie's wedding.

Juice eventually came up for air and turned to depart. "See you at the altar." He slapped Roxy's ass and moved to the door.

Harley scowled at the reaper on his back as he left and quickly locked the door behind him before turning back to Roxy. "So what was all that about? He not enjoy his party or something?"

"Or something." Roxy mumbled as she gathered up her dress from the night before and dropped it on her suitcase.

"What happened?" Lyla pressed.

Roxy groaned and sat down on the bed, already feeling the nausea bubbling inside. Whether it was from morning sickness, wedding jitters, or nerves from the revelation of Crystal's prescense the night before, she didn't know.

"Crystal showed up at his party." She finally answered.

"What?!" Both girls turned to her with shocked faces.

"The fuck did that gash want?" Harley ground out.

"To see if he wanted her. She moved up here with a friend when Juice fucked her off." She twisted her engagement ring subconsciously round her finger.

"Stupid slut." Harley sat down next to Roxy. "But you guys seemed all loved up. That's good, right?"

"Yeah. He came straight here after he told her to fuck off again. We talked, fucked, got our shit straight. But it still hurts you know?"

"I know babe." Harley wrapped her arm around Roxy's shoulders.

Lyla sat down on the seat that faced the bed. She knew what it felt like when she found out Opie had cheated. Gut wrenching and soul destroying when the man you thought loved you had broken that trust. She shuddered at the thoughts and tried to focus on the happier times. These days another Son was making her smile. Quinn was similar to Opie in a few ways. Stoic, quiet, a giant of a man both in physicality and prescense. It relaxed her knowing she could be sought after and cared for once again.

Harley's mind drifted to Happy. She knew he probably couldn't pass up temptation last night but she believed there was a difference between fucking for physical release and making love and she was confident enough in Happy's feelings for her that she wouldn't get hung up on it. She hoped. He still hadn't told her he loved her. But he had given her his crow and she figured that counted for something. Didn't it?

"Look forget that shit. Juice fucked up and you guys moved on. Like I told you before, he is right for you. At first I thought you were mental for taking him back, not because of the sex with Crystal but because he'd abandoned you. But he has made up for that and more since then. You're meant to be babe. Today is going to be amazing and you're going to have an amazing life together from here. I can feel it in my bones."

Roxy chuckled. Harley was always saying weird, old fashioned sayings like that and she got a kick out of it. Luann was a strange lady and passed on her many quirks to her daughter.

"Ok. You're right. Plus why am I jealous of that bitch? I got the guy in the end. He's marrying me and she's stuck up here still sucking dick to pass the time and pay the bills." She chuckled.

"Hey sucking dick is a good earner." Lyla winked.

Roxy smirked. "I'm sure it is. If I had a dollar for every time I sucked Juice's dick..."

The girls erupted in laughter and with that Harley set about getting this show on the road.

xxx xxx

Juice made it back to the Bastard's clubhouse as everyone else was stirring and helping themselves to breakfast. Clearly his early departure did not dull the party any.

"Juicy boy? Where'd you go last night lad?" Chibs slung an arm round his shoulder and offered him a smoke, which Juice gratefully accepted.

"Snuck back to Roxy." He answered shyly, expecting the guys to give him shit for it.

"Good lad." Chibs said seriously and clapped him on the back before guiding him over to the breakfast supplied by the Crow Eaters who'd been round first thing after Roxy's Bachelorette Party.

"So... end of the line for the Juicer!" Bullet clapped Juice on the shoulder as he sat down with his full plate. Juice shrugged, he liked his Indian Hills brothers but sometimes Bullet got on his nerve. "Mind you I wouldn't mind the end of the line if it was with Roxy." He smirked.

Juice tensed and eyed his brother, wondering what his game was. "Watch it Bullet. Don't wanna take you to the ring on my wedding day but I will."

Bullet just laughed. "I'm just playing with ya. Happy for you bro."

Juice frowned but nodded. He knew Bullet had a weird sense of humour so he let it lie.

After they'd all cleared their plates Juice, Jax, and Tig stepped outside for a smoke and to relax. Tig wanted to have a chat to Juice and he figured Jax did too. Roxy had asked Tig to give her away at the wedding, a request which had almost made him tear up. It was something so normal but he was blessed to know that Roxy thought so highly of him. Knowing he'd never get the chance to do that for his own daughters, one who'd died an early, gruesome death because of him and one who hated his guts for that.

They sat down on some old sofas that surrounded a scarred coffee table, one of the Crow Eaters who'd seen them heading out brought over some breakfast beers and left them to it.

"Nervous kid?" Tig asked after his first puff of his cigarette.

Juice shrugged. "Should I be?"

"Well, you are getting married today, normal guys would be." He replied.

"Good thing we're not normal then." Juice took a drag of his joint and blew the thick smoke up in the air. "I'm not nervous because I want this. I wanna prove to her I'm not going anywhere. I slapped my crow on her then fucked around before the ink even healed." He looked down at the burning end of his joint. "This will be better. I'm better now."

Tig surveyed Juice closely. He knew Juice had fucked up, but who hasn't. "I believe ya Juicy. Like I said before, if anyone can make it in this life it's you two."

Juice smiled at that, thankful to have Tig's blessing here, for what it was worth he was the closest thing Roxy had to a father now.

The guys smoked in silence until they had taken their last drags before Jax spoke up.

"I'm proud of the way you handled Crystal last night." Tig didn't look surprised at Jax's words so Juice figured he already knew.

"She was the biggest fucking mistake. Kills me that she's haunting us." Juice mumbled.

"We feel ya. But today's gunna be a good day, you've proven to me more than once that you've got my sister's back and that you're a loyal brother. I'm just sorry it took all that shit between us to admit that."

Juice caught Jax's eye. "It's good now brother."

Jax smiled slightly. "Good, brother."

xxx xxx

Roxy stood in the bathroom of her room. Harley and Lyla had primped her to the extreme, but unable to have some champagne to soothe her nerves she opted for a quick breather in the bathroom. Her dress was currently hanging in the room while she changed into her underwear.

The white lacy bra and panties looked beautiful on her and she appreciated the shape given, glad she'd picked a dress she could wear a bra with. The garter hung at the perfect point on her smooth thigh and her eyes travelled down to her gold painted toe nails. Lyla had gone all out today, spending the day eating and chatting, listening to music and just being super girly.

Roxy let her eyes travel back up her body, stopping briefly on the thin c section scar on her lower stomach, a reminder of Gabriel. Due to his small size they didn't need as big an incision, and it had faded enough over the last almost two years, but it still served as this painful reminder. Juice had noticed it and she knew he'd look at it from time to time, brush his lips against it when they were in bed together, however he'd only commented the once, not long after he'd been released from Stockton. After that he didn't comment again, knowing she hated the reminder.

She allowed her eyes to continue up, she loved the lines and draping of the chandelier tattoo under her bust, hated the odd pink scar left from her time with the Triads and ultimately the vision of her marred crow caught her eye. The pink, raised line through 'Ortiz' made her shudder inside. She closed her eyes, not wanting to think of that on this day.

Harley pounding on the door broke her from her thoughts and Roxy gave herself one last glance over, happy with herself overall, before opening the door to her friends.

"Oh babe Juicy boy is gunna love that set tonight." She eyed Roxy up and down.

"If he stays sober long enough." She chuckled.

"C'mon babe. Tig will be here soon to take you down there. Tara said she'll see you there, she didn't want to bring the boys in here so her and Elyda have gone already."

Roxy nodded. "I can't believe it's time. It's gone so fast." She looked around the room at her things, making sure she had what she needed.

"Last thing is the dress." Lyla started unwrapping it from the protective sleeve.

Harley and Lyla helped Roxy slip into the flowing dress, perfect for a beach wedding. The top of the dress was fitted, highlighting her cleavage, the straps draped over and covered some of the scarred crow tattoo. The top was fitted to her body right down to her hips where it started flowing down in loose chiffon. The whole dress was covered in lace and beaded designs. The off white colour suited her skin tone perfectly and Harley had highlighted her blue eyes with a subtle smoky eyeshadow. Harley and Lyla both gasped and teared up which made Roxy herself tear up.

"You just look so beautiful Rox!" Harley gasped.

Roxy hugged her best friend and they shared a good cuddle before Roxy stepped back to check out her maid of honour.

Harley had a deep purple dress with a sweet heart neckline. The dress too was fitted tight to her bust before it flowed out the same as Roxy's around her hips. Though Harley's was shorter and only came to her knees. Both dresses came from the same range at the bridal shop so they had the same beaded lace design on them. She'd done her hair in loose waves that hung beautifully over her shoulders.

Lyla had opted for a deep blue form fitting dress and massive heels.

"You guys look stunning too." She smiled at her friends. "I just want to thank you both for everything you've done for me. Especially recently, with everything that happened with-" she couldn't continue that thought, "-well... I wouldn't have gotten through everything without your support. And this wedding would never have happened. You've made sure we'll have the best day. So thanks."

A knock at the door interrupted the group hug and Lyla broke off to go and let Tig in. To his credit he was wearing a black button down shirt under his kutte but aside from that he looked like any other day.

"Roxy! Doll! You look a million bucks baby!" He pulled her in for a hug. "Beautiful!" He kissed her temple. "You should see Juicy, he's shitting himself now. Quite funny really, he was all cocky cool this morning. Not any more."

Roxy gave him a playful punch. "Don't be mean Tigger."

Tig just shrugged it off. "We ready to go ladies?"

The girls grabbed the rest of their stuff and made sure Roxy was ready to go.

"Let's get this show on the road!" Tig called from the door and hurried the girls along.

xxx xxx

Juice shifted nervously as he waited with his brothers. They were at a secluded end of the beach partway between the hotel and the Bastard's clubhouse and there seemed to be no one else around but the Sons, whether that was because it was a quiet area or because they'd scared people off he didn't know.

Juice had wanted to drive his bike to Eureka so he could take place in the ride to the wedding. Plus he'd convinced Roxy to come with him on the bike back to the clubhouse. It was a five minute ride and figured it'd be quick enough. What was a biker wedding without a bike?

Chibs had been on the phone a few metres away from Juice and he flipped it shut before walking purposefully over to Juice. "That's them on the way lad." He clapped a hand down on Juice's shoulder.

"Shit." Juice exhaled a long breath. He could feel the nerves giving way into panic and didn't like it. He shouldn't feel that way at his wedding.

"Here." Chibs had lit up a joint and passed it over.

Juice looked at it a moment before accepting. He hadn't wanted to be high at his own wedding but it was that or a panic attack.

Happy and Jax started ushering the rowdy bikers, Crow Eaters and club associates like Unser and Lowell, and Joey with his date over to the aisle. There were a few seats set out that the women mostly occupied. Tara front and centre with the boys. The rest of the crowd would stand. With everyone gathered there was easily 70 people there. Most wearing leather.

Juice looked over the crowd from his spot at the back with Chibs. He couldn't let his mind take over here. These were his friends, his brothers, his family.

Chibs knew Juice was freaking out slightly. "Look boyo this is gunna be great. The wedding will be done in half an hour then it's back to the clubhouse for the party. Just focus on your lovely lass and you'll be fine."

Juice nodded. "Yeah. I know. I want it to be over but I don't at the same time. Y'know?"

Chibs nodded but before they could continue, Jax gave him the signal that the girls had arrived. "Best get ourselves down the aisle then." He gave Juice a quick hug before pushing him slightly to get him going down the aisle.

Juice took one last hit of the joint before chucking it into the sand, squared his shoulders and walked confidently down the aisle to the SAMTAC member who could served as celebrant. The older biker looked kind of like a fat gnome and it put Juice at ease. The guy's curly and unruly gray hair reminded him of Bobby for a second and he sent up a quick prayer in memory of him. Lyla made her way down to the speaker the Bastards had brought along and plugged her iPhone in to the aux cord. She shot Juice a wide grin from her position at the bottom of the aisle and he gave her a flicker of one back before turning his eyes back to the path he knew Roxy would be coming down.

Lyla pressed play and _Wild Horses_ by the Rolling Stones played over the crowd. Bear, the celebrant, had everyone focus their attention for the bride and before long Harley made her way from the tree line and started the short walk down to the sand. The setting looked beautiful, as she knew it would. There was a white carpet down on the sand to serve as a make shift aisle, seats on either side and bikers standing around everywhere, all eyes on her. Juice stood at the end of the carpet under a little wooden arch with Chibs and Bear, the sea not far behind them.

As she got closer she could see the nervous grin twitching on Juice's lips and she smiled reassuringly at him, she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before side stepping and taking her place opposite Chibs so she could watch Roxy and Tig. Happy stood not far over from her, opting to stand rather than sit with the women of the club. He winked at her, twirling his toothpick as he smirked before turning back to watch for the bride.

Juice could feel the sweat clamming up his hands and his longer hair prickled with the sensation of sweat beading on his head. He couldn't bear it any longer and the few moments it took for Harley to make her entrance seemed like an eternity.

But when Roxy did step out from the wall behind the tree line his breath caught and all thoughts of being nervous completely left him. As she came down the aisle, Tig leading her proudly, he couldn't help but crack into the biggest smile.

Roxy naturally mimicked his expression and couldn't stop herself from getting emotional. Tig had given her the sweetest pep talk while they waited for the signal to start their walk. He loved her like his own and he'd never let her forget it.

The closer she got to Juice the more settled her nerves were. Juice wanted to pull her in for a kiss as soon as she stopped, but he didn't. Instead he accepted Tig's hug and comforting words.

"You got this." Then he broke away and stood off on the side Chibs was on.

Bear began the proceedings but neither Juice nor Roxy were really paying attention, they'd joined hands now and Juice kept his eyes on her, smile only broken when he mouthed the word ' _you're beautiful_ ' to her, earning a bigger grin and a hand squeeze from her.

The couple broke out of their reverie when Chibs stepped forward having been called upon for his reading. They were not having the most traditional of ceremonies but Chibs had insisted it was tradition.

Chibs took Bear's position and looked to the couple as he spoke.

"May the road rise up to meet you,

May the wind be always at your back,May the sun shine warm upon your face,The rains fall soft upon your fields.And until we meet again,May your days be good and long upon the earth.May you live to see your children's children.May you be poor in misfortune,Rich in blessings,May you know nothing but happinessFrom this day forward."

The words caught Roxy, she hoped what he said was true and that they'd only know happiness from here. It felt like everything was finally falling into place and she couldn't be happier.

She gave Chibs a smile before turning her eyes back to Juice, noticing how beautiful he looked right now as he beamed back at her. Beautiful isn't the word many would use to describe him, seeing as he often looked like some kinda Mexican OG or dangerous biker. But he was beautiful to her, all big smile and sparking eyes.

Bear resumed his spot and continued the proceedings, the sun was beginning to dim in the sky and it wouldn't be long till it set, casting a beautiful glow on the audience. Juice couldn't help but smile at the shine in Roxy's hair, the loose curls that flowed from the intricate pinned design caught softly in the breeze.

"Juan Carlos Ortiz, do you take Roxana Evelyn Morrow to be your wife?" Bear rumbled deeply.

"I do." Juice answered instantly, causing Roxy to squeeze his hands again.

"Do you promise to love, honour, cherish, and protect her for all the days of your life?"

"I do."

"And do you promise to..." he left it hanging, knowing it would be filled in.

Roxy was already grinning. She'd seen this enough times before to know it was still coming for them.

Juice rolled his eyes. "And I promise to treat you as good as my leather and ride you as much as my Harley." Naturally there was a chorus of cheers for that and Juice just shrugged and gave Roxy a wink.

Bear turned to Roxy now. "Roxanna Evelyn Morrow, do you take Juan Carlos Ortiz to be your husband?"

"I do." She spoke confidently and the spark in her eyes had him holding on to his sanity by a thread. He had an overwhelming need to kiss her that was not easing.

"And do you promise to love, honour, and cherish him, forsaking all others and holding only unto him for all the days of your life?"

"I do." The difference in their vows was noticed by Roxy, she knew this happened, the guys would never vow to forsake others and remain faithful when their brotherhood encouraged cheating. Juice had however promised he would never stray again and that was enough for him.

Bear called for the rings and Chibs passed them over for the important part. Bear had them repeat his words in turn as they placed the rings on their fingers.

"I, Juan Carlos, take thee, Roxanna to be my wife. To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, and I promise my love to you. With this ring I thee wed." He slid the white gold band down on her vacated ring finger, the little diamonds set into the band glinting in the sun.

"I, Roxana, take thee, Juan Carlos to be my husband. To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, and I promise my love to you. With this ring I thee wed." She slid Juice's titanium band down his ring finger and brushed her finger tips on the underside of his palm.

The tension was palpable now as they knew the ceremony was nearing the end. Neither listened as Bear gave his final words but as soon as the words left his lips they acted.

"You may now kiss your bride." He chuckled as Juice practically pounced on Roxy.

Roxy's arms immediately wound round his neck as he bent her back ever so slightly to kiss her. The cheers and clapping, hooting and whistling, was a rambunctious back drop to their first kiss as man and wife but neither would have it any other way.

xxx xxx

Bear had them quickly sign their marriage certificate, along with Harley and Chibs, while everyone else milled around with smokes while some bottles of whisky were passed around.

Most had been to congratulate the couple and after they'd finished with Bear they quickly snuck away from the group and walked closer to the water's edge.

"So Mrs. Ortiz, how do you feel." Juice asked as he pulled her close.

"Like the happiest girl in the world." She answered honestly.

Juice smiled, still not believing he'd ever be this lucky. "In i never thought I'd be happy like this." He confessed.

Roxy stood up on her toes to press a kiss to his lips. "Juan you are the best guy I know. I get that you don't see that in yourself, and it makes me sad that you'd been made to feel that way in the past. But from now on I will do everything I can to make sure you know how much you are loved, how good you are, how strong you are."

Juice didn't need to hear more. Roxy was the best thing in his life and for some reason she thought him worthy of her time and love. He didn't know why she thought so highly of him, but he'd happily spend the rest of his life trying to figure it out.


	118. Chapter 118

**A/N: and another one we go! Thanks for reviewing to my regulars and thanks for reading to the hundreds of others who view! I love knowing that you all are following along.**

 **There's a little bit extra in here I haven't done before so lemme know if you like it ;)**

 **Enjoy!**

Happy leant against the beach wall, twirling his toothpick between his teeth as he watched Harley prance around in the sand. Lyla was taking some photos of Juice and Roxy and Harley had been dragged down to participate. He watched as she threw her head back and laughed at something Juice said before kicking sand in his direction.

It was times like these when he felt confident in his decision to keep her. He'd pushed everything away after Ariana and the club became his sole focus, his life, everything he had went into that and his Ma. Though his Ma never knew what exactly he did for the club.

Eventually Harley dragged herself away and made her way up the sand towards him, glancing back to watch her best friend smile.

Roxy followed Harley with her eyes. She was so happy that Harley had found someone to share her life with. She knew her friend deserved this happiness just as much as she did. Harley had also lost everything due to the club and now she was in much the same boat as Roxy. Orphaned, with the club as the only tie to any kind of belonging. You'd think after it had ripped so much away from the pair of them that they'd run and never look back. But the trauma only dragged them in deeper and gave them a new family to focus on.

Roxy turned to Juice and caught his infectious smile, before she could think of much else he kissed her again, soft and warm and all love. His hand splayed over her still flat stomach and she smiled against his lips.

Juice was loving every minute of this. His wife. Roxy was now _his_ in every sense of the word. He'd searched his whole life for love and belonging and he had it all right here, contained in this little brunette bottle.

Lyla had been busy snapping some photos of the couple and the others on the beach, trying to capture the moment for the couple. In the time after Opie's death she'd looked back fondly on her photos. It seems as though that was the last time they'd been happy together. It had hurt for a while, but now she was able to start looking forward again.

Just as she thought that she saw Quinn making his way over with Kenny and Piper. He'd been staying with them often and spending a lot of time with their family. At first she had been hesitant but he was just so good with the kids. Either way he had been Opie's brother, not a close one, but a brother still and it was nice for the kids to have him around to remember their father.

She snapped one last photo of the happy couple then turned and left them to it. Before she could get closer to Quinn she spotted Harley and Happy in an intense moment up by the beach wall, it was too good an opportunity to pass up so she sneakily snapped a photo of them together. She'd never seen Happy's face in anything but a permanent scowl so it was an opportunity too good to miss. She'd have to show Harley later.

xxx xxx

Juice led Roxy toward his bike, she was still very sceptical and not all that impressed to be riding bitch in her wedding dress but he was just so excited to ride back with his brothers with her behind him.

"Just wait till I get on then pull your dress up and hold on to it." He instructed as they stopped at his bike.

Roxy rolled her eyes. "This is so dignified."

"Baby this is an MC wedding, ain't no one here dignified."

Roxy surveyed the surrounding brothers, noting Harley hitching her skirt and hopping behind Happy with ease.

"You're right about that." She smirked.

Juice bowed his head and crushed his lips to hers while everyone around them hollered and started their bikes. The sound of dozens of Harley tail pipes was like a fanfare around them and Roxy giggled as Juice kissed down her neck.

"We need to get back to this clubhouse." He pulled her closer to his hips.

Roxy could feel his need quite well and gave him one more quick kiss before pushing him back. "Lead the way then."

He shot her a wink and climbed on the bike before turning slightly to help her on with the dress. Luckily it was light and flowy enough that the skirt simply bunched up between her legs. The flowy part of the skirt could be detached to reveal a shorter form fitting skirt that continued from the top underneath but she didn't want to reveal that sexy trick just yet. So, Roxy made sure none of the rest of the skirt was touching the bike's hot or moving parts before nodding she was good to go.

She had to admit it was pretty thrilling riding at the head of the pack of bikes as they wound through the streets of Eureka, taking a slightly longer route back to the clubhouse.

Roxy could feel the eyes of the town on them as they passed and the guys revved their engines obnoxiously at the bystanders.

By the time they'd made it to the Bastards compound Roxy was giddy with excitement. She was thankful the morning sickness had kept itself at bay today despite her nerves. She was ready to party and have a good time.

Juice helped her off the bike before dismounting himself and led the way to the clubhouse. He'd seen the girls at work that morning before he left and the place looked fantastic. He opened the door to the large warehouse that served as the Bastard's clubhouse and allowed Roxy to go in ahead of him.

Roxy looked around the large room, completely stunned with the decoration. On one wall there was a long bar, lined with plenty of pre made drinks, in one of the corners there was a stripper pole surrounded by some sofas and she had to roll her eyes, bikers were bikers after all. But the soft fairy lights mixed in with the clubhouse's usual party lights gave the room a romantic and seductive glow. There was clearly a monster sound system hooked up if the variety of speakers and subwoofers around the room were any indication and Roxy wished she would have been able to drink and let loose that night, the place looked like it'd offer up a good time.

The remaining space was filled with a dance floor and plenty of seats and tables with a buffet table ready to go near the bar.

"Looks good huh?" Juice asked as he watched her take in the room.

"It's great!" Roxy beamed at him.

Juice caught her in his arms as she turned to survey the room, he couldn't help but catch her lips in his. "Not as great as you baby." He mumbled against her skin.

Roxy shivered as he caressed her shoulders, she was suddenly wishing they'd had a bit of time to themselves but, unfortunately, the crowd started filing in the doors and the girls behind the bar started passing out the drinks.

Juice could see the lust in her eyes and smirked before kissing her once more. "Tonight baby."

Roxy grinned at him. "Yeah. Party first. I know." She smacked his ass as he turned to head to the bar.

Harley and Lyla approached with beaming smiles. "You like?" Harley asked.

"I do! It's brilliant. You guys did a great job!" Roxy commended.

"Well we organised. Venus stayed here to make sure the girls actually set up." Lyla explained.

"Well thank you both anyway. I'll say thanks to Venus when I see her next." Roxy smiled.

"C'mon baby momma. Let's go get you a virgin cocktail." Harley dragged Roxy off towards the bar as one of the guys started the music.

xxx xxx

Heavy rock music blasted through the sound system as the assembled bikers and women ate their dinner. There were a few girls dancing already but most people were occupied with drinking and eating so the party wouldn't kick off for a while yet. Although a biker wedding Juice and Roxy had requested a first dance and Juice knew just the song he wanted.

"Food ok baby?" Juice asked from his place at the table beside her.

"Yeah really good babe. And I'm not being sick for once!" Roxy took another bite of her beef. The girls had done a huge roast with loads of different veggies and meats and Roxy wolfed into her dinner. The long day combined with the nerves had given her a huge appetite.

Juice gave her a gravy stained kiss before he went back to his corn. Tig was joking with Harley across the table from Roxy and Happy was busy chatting with Bullet from

Indian Hills.

Roxy smiled as she surveyed her family, it was a large and slightly unhinged bunch but she felt like she belonged. She couldn't help but feel something was missing. Despite Juice and Roxy both feeling at home with the MC neither had blood relatives here, except for Jax. He was the only tie either of them had left to real family and that stung slightly.

Roxy wondered if her dad would have approved of today, if he were still here would he have actually been happy for her or just pleased she was out of his hair? Old feelings of inadequacy were creeping in and she shut them down before they could take over. Then there was Gemma, everything Gemma did was to protect her family but all it did was break them and push them away. Roxy and Jax were barely hanging on to a decent relationship of any kind and that was down to her lies.

Roxy wasn't left with her thoughts for long, however, as Juice pulled her back to reality and nodded to the dance floor.

"Harley wants us to do our first dance soon. She's eager to 'shake it on the floor' apparently." Juice rolled his eyes as he quoted her.

"Just jealous you can't dance like us Ortiz." Harley shot back.

"Aye he is. He'd make a damn sight more money shakin his ass on stage than he does with us." Chibs chuckled.

"Just because I look fine without my clothes on. Course I'd rake in the cash." Juice winked and squeezed Roxy's hand which had her rolling her eyes.

"Whatever _husband_ just eat up so we can get to this dancing business."

xxx xxx

Harley managed to clear everyone off the floor, the bikers grumbling at such traditional aspect of a wedding, but Juice had insisted.

He watched as Harley selected the song on the iPod and, of course, Robbie William's _Angels_ smoothed through the speakers.

There were cheers and catcalls as Juice pulled Roxy against his body, Roxy rolling her eyes at the rowdy guys surrounding them. The girls were all swooning over the display of romance that was so far from their world. The only romance these guys usually displayed was a display of ownership and that was that.

Juice swept his hand down to settle on her lower back as the other gently clasped her hand in his. Roxy stroked the hair at the nape of his neck and smiled softly, remembering how it used to feel when he had the Mohawk.

The music swelled around them as the song reached its chorus and Juice pulled Roxy in for a kiss.

"You look so beautiful today... well every day. But today especially." He stumbled over his compliment.

Roxy smiled softly into his neck as they broke away from their kiss, swaying to the music. "You're so good to me."

Juice frowned. "I haven't been. But I will be from now on. I promise you that."

"J, you've given me things I've always dreamed of but never thought I'd get. Sure there's been bumps along the way but you're with me now and that's all that matters."

Juice squeezed her tighter before spinning her around. "I'm so excited to start this family with you. I feel like for once I have a family."

Eventually some of the other Old Ladies dragged their men to the floor and tried to get them to dance just as the song ended and some rock started again. Juice laughed at the look on Happy's face as Harley attempted to have him dance with her.

"Unless it's a lap dance baby I ain't participating." He told her and Harley just smirked before turning back to Roxy who was laughing with Juice.

"You'll dance with me yeah?" She held her hand out.

"God yes. I'm done with dancing now." Juice pushed her over with a light slap on the ass and turned back to Happy to go grab some more drinks.

xxx xxx

"Mind if I cut in?" Jax tapped Roxy on the shoulder and stole her away from the girls.

He had no intention on dancing but he did want to talk to his sister. They'd been on shaky ground since everything had happened with Juice and then the fiasco with Lin but he wanted to straighten things out some more.

They adopted a close dancing pose seeing as it was a slightly slower rock song and Roxy gave him a bit of a cuddle.

"You happy Rox?" He murmured.

"So happy Jax." She smiled into his embrace.

"Good. It's all I want for you. I know shit went south for a long time then. And you're right. I got caught up in my shit with Clay, but... but now we're all we got left and I want us to be good. I want to be close with you again."

Roxy sighed at the mention of her father, she'd still hate him for that debacle and her father's untimely death but he was right. They needed to set shit straight.

"I'm not gunna lie Jax, that shit with Clay hurt me real bad, then going after Juice... it almost killed me. Both figuratively and literally. But I think I can put it aside for the sake of our family."

Jax turned his head and kissed her temple. "That's all I want. I fucked this family up enough, it's time I start making shit right. I want our kids to be close and us be able to enjoy each other's company."

"I know. Me too."

They danced peacefully for a few more minutes before Roxy sighed softly.

"Think I over reacted with mum wanting to see the wedding?" She asked tentatively.

"Honestly? No. I don't think you reacted enough." He chuckled but stopped when he realised Roxy was being real serious. "Look she's fucked up too much Rox and I know that's rich coming from me but you're better off without her. We got all the family we need right here darlin'." He gestured to the gathered bikers, all laughing and having a good time.

Roxy nodded but deep down she realised she did miss her Ma here and wondered if they'd ever be on good terms again.

xxx xxx

"I'm so excited for this reveal babe. He has no idea!" Harley was grinning as she helped Roxy take off the flowing skirt in the clubhouse toilets.

"Me too. I'm ready to actually dance now I can move better."

"You better be ready to dance. I've got the beats lined up ready to go. Our guys won't like the music but the Bastards have already said they will." Harley explained. Usually the Sons were rock kinda guys but the Bastards had a slightly more urban feel for music.

"Oh our guys will like it when they see all their girls up on the floor dancing." Roxy gave a devilish smirk.

Harley matched it and moved to pull Roxy out of the bathroom.

Harley had already told the girls they'd all better be on the floor to dance, with it being later in the night now they were all ready to let go and let loose. Harley safely stored Roxy's full skirt by the sound system where it'd be out of harms way, waited for the song to end before clicking over to her dancing play list.

The heavy bass fill the room and the Bastard's members all hooted and hollered as the Sons grumbled with the change in pace.

Juice looked up from his conversation with Chibs and Tig to see Roxy sauntering onto the dance floor with Harley and Lyla and his jaw dropped.

"Looks like ya girl is in the party mood Juicy Boy!" Chibs clapped him on the back as Roxy and Harley started dancing together. Happy hadn't seen the girls on his approach to Chibs and Juice so he was grumbling about the music change.

"The fuck is this shit?" He gestured to the speakers.

"That's what the fuck." Juice smirked and pointed to the dance floor to see Roxy and Harley dancing seductivly to the music.

Happy took in the sight of his girl and smirked before downing his Jacks. "We're gunna need some more drinks brother." He grabbed Juice and took him to the bar.

As they strolled around the dance area Roxy and Harley caught their eyes and gave them both a wink before turning back to the rest of the girls on the floor and dancing away.

xxx xxx

The boys had been watching the girls dance for some time now. The Bastard's sweetbutts and crow eater equivalents were making a real show on the dance floor and their men had joined in on the action. Nothing better than a fine woman grinding all over you as TO had put it. But the Sons weren't really into this sort of music.

Juice had an eclectic taste in music, having grown up in Queens he'd listened to more than his fair share of rap or r'n'b music and frequently he and Roxy would get it on with some of these tracks playing in the background.

This time he hadn't gone up to her, just allowed her to have her fun while he chatted with his brothers. His eyes never left her for long though. He'd wanted her all day and currently watching her tight ass wiggle to the beat was just getting too much.

Harley and Lyla were well and truly drunk and having a great time, but Roxy's sobriety hadn't stopped her enjoying herself. The closer it got to midnight the messier it got on the dance floor and the men were all eyeing up someone to take back to their beds that night and the dance floor started getting thinner.

Juice had made his way back to Happy, Bullet, and Quinn who were chatting near the bar watching the girls.

"Could get used to this shit." Happy nodded to the girls.

"Think I need to update our playlist when we get back." Juice agreed.

Just as Ludacris' _Stand Up started pumping through the speakers Lyla took a stumble and Quinn took that as his cue to collect her. They weren't offical Old Lady status or anything but she was with him so he figured he'd look after her sorry ass. Jax had already taken Tara off the floor long ago as she was well and truly drunk and totally unable to hold her liquor. Plus Elyda was back at the hotel with the boys and Kenny, Ellie, and Piper so Jax figured he'd relieve her of his two at least. Poor Elyda had her hands full but she was making a packet out of these few days._

Juice's attention was locked on Roxy and he had a feeling Happy's was on Harley too. They were taking the lyrics 'when I move you move' way too seriously and were putting on quite the show, grinding against each other.

Harley could feel Happy's eyes boring into her and she flushed under his glare. He had made her feel things she'd never felt before and being under his predatory gaze just set her on fire.

Roxy could say a similar thing about Juice but before the girls could do anything about it they were pulled on from behind. Happy and Juice had all but stormed the dance floor in their haste to grab their women. The girls' stifled a giggle as their guys' hands wrapped around their waists and spun them into their waiting arms.

Juice nuzzled Roxy's neck while he let his hands roam her body. "This dress is fucking hot." He mumbled against her skin as his hands drifted far enough down to cup her ass.

"You like it?" She giggled.

"More than fucking like it." He moved his hands to cup her face and pushed a hot and heavy kiss on her lips. "I need to get you back to our room." He was tipsy but not drunk enough that he couldn't drive. "I'm so fuckin hard for you right now."

"Juan!" Roxy playfully slapped him on the arm.

"What? It's true." He grabbed her hand and ran it down his front to his crotch.

"Oh my god. Just take me back to the room." She was conscious of everyone around them and would rather take it somewhere private. Juice was always handsy when he'd been drinking.

"That I will not argue with." He practically dragged her from the clubhouse amidst cheers and whoops from all his brothers.

xxx xxx

Now that Roxy and Juice had gone everyone continued with their partners for the night. Harley turned round to face Happy who'd been eyeing her with a hungry look.

"See something you like?" She quirked an eyebrow.

"Yeah. And so has everyone else in here. So get your ass here now girl." He leaned back against the wall as Harley sauntered over to him.

She watched him watch her as she walked over. His arms folded over his chest, oozing power and confidence, the black shirt stretched tight over his body, highlighting every muscle. Harley knew every girl in that room had eyes on him at some point in the night, it happened anywhere he went. He commanded any room he entered, even in such a testosterone fuelled environment amongst his brothers. The fact that many of them were scared of him just added to his appeal even more.

"You're so damn sexy Hap. You ain't even got a clue." She slurred slightly but it just endeared her to him even more. "Or maybe you do. All these bitches can't stop throwing themselves at you, and I know you love it." She pushed her body flush against his.

"Maybe." He was happy to keep goading her as she was playing right into his hands.

"I'm sure you do. Banging these bitches left n right." She said quietly, admitting something that had been on her mind. Although she knew the difference between fucking for release and sex with someone you care for, she found it grating on her more everyday. Mostly because Happy was yet to admit any feelings for her other than his ink. She figured that was as good as a declaration of love in his life but until he actually admitted it she didn't know where they stood on that. At the end of the day she was jealous. Not because Happy cared for the women she imagined he fucked on the side, but because they all thought they had one over on her for it.

Happy chuckled although slightly pissed off that's what she thought of him. Then he realised he hadn't really given her much to go off in that sense.

"You're the only bitch I've been fucking for some time now, mami." He practically growled his pet name for her in her ear.

He felt Harley's fingers grasp into his kutte as she took in a sharp breath. She pulled back and let her eyes search over his face. Happy watched her bright green eyes rake over his features with curiosity before settling on his deep, almost black, eyes and finding what she wanted.

"God I fucking love you!" She threw herself at him then and he met her head on.

Happy spun them around so she was caged in between his arms, her back flush with the wall, while he continued his assault on her senses. Happy was a master at this. Once he got to know her, what made her squirm, moan, and beg for more, he knew just how to play her. His torture techniques came in handy in more ways than one, and he was happy to use his self restraint to his advantage while he could wind her up for hours before finally giving in and allowing her release.

Harley slipped her hands under his shirt and kutte, running her fingers on the smooth skin of his abs, noting the odd raised scar in his skin, just as she knew where every one was located.

Harley ran her finger tips along the band of his pants and was almost daring to slip her hand in, right here in the open but Happy stopped her. It was too open, fair enough he'd been caught in worse situations in the clubhouse before but he respected Harley and none of his other brothers deserved to see her like that.

"Bathroom or hotel? I can't wait around much longer." He told her as he rubbed his hardened, jean clad, cock against her stomach.

Harley moaned and gripped her fingers tighter into him before coming up with a better plan. "Hotel... but bathroom first."

Happy didn't need to be told twice, he gripped Harley's waist and pulled her with him towards the clubhouse bathrooms. As soon as he shoved her in he slammed the door and locked it, turning around to see Harley leaning against the vanity.

In that second he was on her like a lion hunting its prey, not in the mood for any kind of foreplay, he wanted straight in. Gripping the back of her head, tangling his fingers in her hair with one hand he pulled her head back so he had access to her neck. Harley moaned and gripped his bicep as his other hand went straight under her skirt.

"Fuck Hap!" She moaned as he sucked roughly on her soft skin.

"You got any idea how hot you make me, bitch?" He growled against her as his hand found its destination ready to go. He hitched her up so she was sitting on the vanity and settled himself between her legs.

Harley slid her hand down to grasp him through his jeans. "I have an idea." She smirked before returning to his kiss while undoing his belt and jeans.

Happy gripped at her thong and pulled it down her legs before stuffing it in his pocket, Harley had undone his belt and fly so when he stepped back he shuffled his jeans down to free his hardened member. Grasping it in her hand and rolling her fist back and forth she bit her lip to look into his eyes.

Happy had it and dove forward to attach his lips to hers again and settled himself between her legs. He was ready for a hard and fast fuck, they could do it different back at the hotel but right now he just wanted her. He was so freaking thankful she had the implanon because it meant no other protection was needed. He knew he was clean since his last doctor's visit and Harley claimed to be too so since their first few weeks together they'd gone raw and he fucking loved it.

He roughly grabbed her ass and pulled her forward on the bench so he had access and without another word he rammed into her with an audible groan. Harley grasped at his back as he started the rough, punishing rhythm he'd usually adopt.

"Fuck you're so wet, mami." Harley loved the nickname and it made her purr into his ear as he pounded hard into her.

She could feel the vanity shaking beneath her and wasn't a hundred percent sure of its structural integrity but she knew Happy wouldn't let her fall.

Harley's moans increased in pitch and he knew she was close. He gripped her long bottle blonde locks and pulled her head back so he could attack her neck.

"C'mon girl, get it, get it." He commanded as he slid his thumb down to her clit to help her along.

"Yes babe! Fuck!" She explained as she convulsed around him and pulled herself as close into his body as she could. Happy grinned as he saw Harley's slow grin and slowed his thrusts.

"Your turn now daddy." She whispered in a sultry tone. She loved playing this game with him.

"In that case, on your knees." He abruptly pulled out of her and Harley obediently slid to the floor and awaited his next move. "Yeah good girl."

He softly stroked his thumb along her cheek before offering himself to her, Harley acting immediately. She'd spent most of her adult life behind the camera and had picked up plenty of tricks so she had him gone within minutes.

"Fuck yes!" He growled as he pumped himself inside her mouth, feeling Harley moan around him made it more exciting for him. He knew she loved doing this for him.

He had to brace himself over her kneeled form with his hands on the vanity while he caught his breath.

"Shit girl, that was good." He offered a hand to help her off the floor and gave her a chaste kiss, not really wanting to go for tongue when he could still taste himself in her mouth. "Let's get going so we can do that again."

Harley smirked and patted his chest. "Need my panties back please." She ordered as she straightened herself out.

"Uh uh. They're mine now."

"Haaaap. I can't ride with no panties on." She pouted.

"Yes you can. C'mon." He gave her a devilish smirk and pulled her along behind him.

xxx xxx

Before Roxy could even shut the door properly Juice had her pinned against it, hands pulling her dress up before she could flip the lock.

Juice's hand found the garter and he smirked against her lips. "Forgot about this." He mumbled.

Roxy gasped as he slid to his knees in front of her, lifting her skirt and nipping and kissing along her thigh as his hands cupped her ass.

Juice slid his lips over to her garter and began to pull his down with his teeth. When he had it over her knee it slid straight to the floor. Juice pulled it over her foot and threw it towards the bed before turning back and licking a stripe up her thigh towards her panties.

He knew Roxy wasn't particularly into when he gave her head so he only stopped for a brief second, enjoying the feel of her lacy panties against his lips before continuing upwards, following the hem of her dress as he raised it. He stopped over the scar that was only faintly creased her stomach and kissed, lathing his tongue over the rough skin.

Roxy trembled at his touch and whimpered as he kissed that fated spot, but as soon as he started he stopped and continued on his trip north. Her dress had no give over her ribs and so he had to stand to turn her round and unzip to set her free.

He delicately peeled the dress from her body before turning round and placing it over the arm chair. Roxy took the time to move to the bed and lay herself down to wait for him. Juice followed, stripping down to his boxers as he went. He slowly crawled over her as he climbed onto the bed.

"You're so beautiful." He commented as he ran his hand down her body, settling his just to the side of hers.

"And so are you." She smiled as she ran her finger tips down his face.

"Well, most would say I'm roguishly handsome... but you can call me beautiful if you like... wife." He smirked before kissing her again.

Roxy poured everything she had into the kiss, she was so tired, and feeling sick after the long and exciting day, but being with Juice and knowing they were safe and happy she just wanted everything he had to offer.

Before long the kiss heated up and Roxy moaned beneath him as he slid his leg over hers so he could hover over her. Juice bent his head down to her breasts and moved the bra so he could kiss and suck over her scarred crow and he traced the raised lines with his tongue, Roxy grinding herself against his leg as he did. As he took her nipple into his mouth she ran her hand down his chest, slipping into his boxers and gripped his hard length. Juice groaned as she slid her hand up and down his cock and kneaded her breast and before long he wasn't able to wait any longer.

He kneeled up on the bed and almost ripped her panties from her body. "Fuck I gotta have you."

Roxy slid her legs open once again and Juice positioned himself between them. As he kissed her deeply, once more, he pushed himself into her and swallowed her moan.

Roxy wrapped her legs around him and pulled him closer with every thrust, her hands grabbing hold of whatever she could, kissing and sucking whichever part of his neck and shoulders she could reach.

Juice took it slow and deep, punctuating his thrusts with words of love and devotion, Roxy seeing a deeper side to him than she'd ever seen from him before.

Just as Roxy reached her peak he told her that he loved her and the bliss from both his words and his body was overwhelming to her and for the first time in a long time she felt like she was brought to tears.

"You are fucking everything to me." He uttered as he kept going and Roxy could do nothing but watch his face as she moved her body with his.

Juice noticed a few tear tracks and sloppily kissed her cheeks before moving faster to his climax. Roxy could feel him shuddering above her as he jarred his thrusts and slowly relaxed.

Juice lowered himself, careful not to put pressure on her still flat stomach, and lay next to her, pulling her flush against his body. He kissed the top of her head that rested under his chin and wrapped her tighter in his arms as they tangled their legs together.

"Today could not have been more perfect." Roxy whispered against his chest.

Juice slowly stroked down her side and rested his palm against her stomach, splaying his fingers over her skin. At 11 weeks he knew there wouldn't be a bump but he reckoned he could feel a firmness that wasn't there before. Maybe it was just his imagination.

"And it's only going to get better from here." He responded.

 **A/N: and another note at the end of the chapter! Hope you enjoyed the little bit extra of Happy and Harley in there ;)**

 **But please let me know what you think! It keeps me motivated as I write between chapters and I want to know what you enjoy. I have another small storyline coming up but it's after the baby is born. So what do you want to see of the pregnancy?**

 **I'd love to hear from you and I'd love to get to 300 reviews before the next chapter. So if you're an avid reader but have never commented before please drop me a line! You're thoughts of the story overall would be much appreciated!**


	119. Chapter 119

**A/N: sorry for the delay and thanks to my faithful reviewed AngR and Lennon9091 as always! Glad you're still enjoying.**

 **To all the other readers please let me know what you think.**

 **After this chapter I'll be breaking up the pregnancy so I can move on to the wrap up storyline. Still a few more chapters ahead but I've got the ending played out and we're officially coming to the end. So hope you enjoy!**

Roxy and Juice were supposed to spend a relaxing week in San Francisco after the wedding but that didn't really go to plan. Roxy spent most of the drive down vomiting and the next two days she was so nauseous she could barely get out of bed. They managed to have two good days with each other before it started again and Juice decided it was time to check out early and head back to Charming.

So now, just seven days after they wed, she was sitting in the waiting room at St. Thomas with Juice waiting for her Dr's appointment.

In Juice's opinion she looked like shit, though he'd never say that to her, she hadn't been eating or drinking properly and was exhausted in just the space of a few days he could tell the toll it was having on her and was worried for the sake of the baby. She was just crossing the twelve week mark and he didn't want this to continue.

"I'm sorry about the honeymoon." She mumbled, head leaning back against the wall. She was just wearing leggings and a baggy tshirt, not enough energy to even dress herself like she usually did.

Juice stroked her thigh. "Babe, like I told you there's no need to apologise. We have all the time in the world for honeymoons now but for the time being you need to be looked after."

Roxy nodded, she knew he was right. She'd not felt this sick with Gabriel so she was secretly quite worried, not wanting to alarm Juice to that fact.

After a while Dr. Warner called them through and spoke to her. The ultrasound showed a perfectly healthy baby, and Dr. Warner printed them some photos. But she did, however, order them to stay at the hospital to run some tests. Roxy had given them pee and bloods and now they had to wait for them all to come back.

Sitting in the cafeteria Juice watched her pick at some fruit salad. "I know you don't wanna eat babe but you gotta get something in there."

She nodded slowly and munched on a piece of apple to placate him, not telling him how much she wanted to throw it right back up again.

"Do you know how much longer this'll take?" He was getting slightly edgy, worried the doctors weren't telling him something. He knew Roxy was hiding how sick she was from him.

Roxy shrugged. "Depends on what they find out with the bloods I guess."

Finally they were ready to head back up to the doctor's office and face the music. Juice looped an arm around her and held her close as they made their way up in the lift. As soon as they went up to the desk the nurse ushered them back to Dr. Warner's room and sat them down.

Dr. Warner came in with a smile, which relaxed Juice slightly and stopped him from jumping his knee up and down, much to Roxy's pleasure. His nervous energy had been driving her up the wall.

"So Mrs. Ortiz, everything came back normal. Well, what we'd expect really. You've very low iron levels, which accounts for the fatigue, however you are very dehydrated and undernourished. What I'd like to do is set you up for the afternoon on some intravenous fluids to boost you back up. I'll also write you a prescription for some iron tablets and some anti nausea pills. Unfortunately, you seem to be experiencing excessive morning sickness, something some women do get from time to time. Hyperemisis gravidarum. You'll need to take extra care in the pregnancy to ensure you're keeping your fluid and food intake up and if you have any more episodes like this you will need to come back to the hospital for more fluids."

"But will she be ok?" Juice asked, panicking slightly once again. Roxy smiled and stroked his hand with her thumb, as he'd clasped on immediately when the doctor suggested more time in hospital.

Dr. Warner smiled slightly, understanding his worry. "I'm not going to lie Mr. Ortiz, your wife's pregnancy is already classified as high risk, with the heart problems and the previous pregnancy trauma, so this on top of it won't make things easy for you. You will have to take things easy, rest when you can and just look after yourself." She had turned her attention to Roxy. "You will need to come in for fortnightly appointments and myself and Dr. Baker will be monitoring you. I'll have him in on things from the cardiology point of view. As you'll know from the last time pregnancy does put a strain on the heart and with the modified medications, well, they're not as effective, so we'll be watching out for you."

Juice rubbed his free hand over his face and started jumping his knee again, completely unsure how to handle all this information.

"It'll be ok Juan. I'll look after myself." Roxy tried to reassure him before this developed into a full blown panic attack.

Roxy had filled Dr. Warner in previously on Juice's OCD and anxiety so she took the time now to reassure him.

"Look, Mr. Ortiz-"

"-please, Juan is fine." He interrupted.

Dr. Warner smiled softly. "Juan, there's no reason why this can't be a happy and healthy pregnancy, provided you both just take care. We'll be scheduling Roxanna in for a c-section again the week or so before her due date to ensure a swift delivery and all this antenatal care will ensure a safe pregnancy. So please, just be cautious, but enjoy it as best you can."

Juice and Roxy nodded and Dr. Warner sorted everything out for Roxy to be admitted for the IV drip, which didn't soothe Juice all that much, but he vowed to try his best to relax.

xxx xxx

They eventually rolled into the lot late that evening, Tara and Harley had made a big dinner down at the clubhouse so everyone was congregating there to catch up with the happy couple.

Roxy had felt a lot better after her IV and an extended nap, so she'd managed to actually dress up a bit in some skinny jeans and a nice, embellished, black tank top. Juice was slightly more relaxed when he noticed Roxy looking a bit better, she had some colour in her cheeks and a bit of a spring in her step, plus she'd actually said she felt hungry which was good.

"Here they are! The hard partying newlyweds!" Chibs applauded when he saw them enter the bar.

Roxy gave him a hug before turning to her brother and the others.

"All go ok at the hospital?" Tara asked.

"Yeah, had an IV and shit. Should be good, just have to be careful." Roxy smiled.

"That's good. Dr. Warner will take good care of you." Tara surmised.

"Yeah I'll be in there every two weeks so you'll probably see a lot of me." She smiled to Tara. Tara was consulting as she still had lots of physio to do to sort her hand out before she could operate again.

"Sounds like a good excuse for lunch dates to me."

"Still going to work in the garage?" Harley asked.

"Only if these assholes behave. Don't need her under any more stress." Juice interrupted and Roxy rolled her eyes towards Harley.

"That answers that question then." She grumbled.

Juice shot her a look. "You already know we got enough money you don't need to be workin' at all so don't get in a huff with me. You heard what the doc said, you've to take it easy and I'm making sure you do just that. Now come eat."

Tara and Harley gazed at Juice's retreating back, it wasn't often he went all 'Old Man' on Roxy so when he did it surprised them.

"Looks like you're gunna have your work cut out for you the next few months."

xxx xxx

"How you feeling today babe?" Juice gently stroked her back. Roxy just grumbled in response. "C'mon we gotta get to the hospital for your appointment." He gently pulled the comforter back and ushered Roxy to the shower.

It was her next fortnightly appointment and at 14 weeks she wasn't feeling much better than she had at 12. She'd spent the last couple of days in bed again with a strict diet of chicken noodle soup and Gatorade. The only two things Juice could get her to keep down. He had a strong feeling today's appointment would require an IV again and he had to be on the road at lunch so he'd already decided to have Harley on call to come down.

The guys were off on a run to Indian Hills, they had been outsourced to provide security for some of their girls when they did big events. Indian Hills had become one of the smaller charters recently but had the most business so SAMCRO and Rogue River had been taking it in turns to do protection runs for them. The SAMCRO guys didn't mind, since getting out of guns their sole business ventures were TM, RedWoody, and Diosa. All of which looked after themselves for the most part. Juice was heavily involved with the online stuff for RedWoody and did his hours in the garage while the rest took turns as security for RedWoody and Diosa along with their usual TM shifts. All of this made for a quiet life, not that they complained but the odd run up to Indian Hills provided a bit of excitement to their quiet routines.

"I can just get Harley to take me. We both know I'll be admitted when we get there." She said as she dressed after her shower.

"I want to be there for the appointment. Then I'll be gone for two days so please just let me look after you while I can." He answered.

Roxy sighed after throwing her sundress on. She moved over to the bed to give him a kiss. "Ok. I'm sorry babe. You look after me all the time though now. I'm sure you'll enjoy the break." She stroked her fingers through his hair as she settled between his knees, looking down to his face.

"I like taking care of you." He smiled softly.

"I'm sure you're loving this celibacy though." She chuckled, but he could see the insecurity in her eyes. She'd not been up for much during the last fortnight. They'd not really had many opportunities since their wedding night and Roxy couldn't help but worry when he was going off on a run to literally watch strippers and prostitutes for two days.

Juice grasped her thighs in his hands, just below her ass. "Stop stressing babe. We've gone longer before. I can wait till you're better. And the days you feel good I'll more than make up for it I promise you." He smirked.

"I'm feeling pretty good now hotshot." She whispered.

"Nice try babe. It'd be way more convincing if you hadn't been up since 4am. We both know you're getting an IV so let's go."

Roxy pouted but dropped a quick kiss on his lips, she paused for a moment and deepened the kiss, Juice took the cue and slid his hands up to cup her ass. It'd been almost 5 days since he last had her so if she was willing he wasn't going to turn her down.

Roxy gently pushed him back on to the bed and straddled him, ignoring the swirling of nausea in her head. She wanted this, needed this release and she wanted to send him off satisfied as much as possible.

Juice thrusted gently underneath her as she continued to kiss him passionately, her tongue stroking softly against his. Juice raised one hand from her hips to massage her breast, rubbing the nipple through her bra, causing Roxy to buck against him.

Knowing they were on a tight time schedule, and not wanting to tempt fate with her nausea he ran the hand down to where they were joined to make sure she was ready for him, and was pleasantly surprised. He was met with her wet heat and a sultry moan from Roxy.

"I'm gunna roll you over." It was a statement but he wanted to make sure she was ok before he suddenly moved her.

"Ok." She answered breathlessly.

As soon as she was on her back he knelt back and pulled down his pants and boxers, freeing himself for what was to come.

Roxy immediately grasped him in her soft hand and started to stroke him, Juice almost finding his release then and there like a 15 year old kid. But he didn't know how she'd feel when he got back so decided to make the most of this.

He pulled her hand away and lay himself down carefully over her body. "Nah I wanna be inside you babe."

Roxy whined and bucked involuntarily, not realising how much she'd wanted this. "Please." She begged.

Juice didn't need much more encouragement than that and swiftly climbed her body and plunged into her in one smooth motion.

The sensation of being inside her after a short break got him every time, he bowed his head against her shoulder before slowly picking up the pace. Roxy was writhing beneath him, lifting her hips to meet his thrusts, the feeling of him hard and fast inside her was driving her to the edge.

"Yes... Juan... that feels so good." She whispered breathlessly. "I'm gunna miss you so much."

"I'll miss you. I swear to god you better answer your phone when I call for phone sex." He managed to grunt out.

The giggle Roxy gave felt so good as it echoed through his body and he knew he had to hurry her up. He slid his hand down to her clit and started a slow circling motion before speeding up to match his thrusts.

Roxy knew what was coming and allowed her muscles to contract as she chased the feeling with him, when he started commanding huskily into her ear she couldn't stop it.

"C'mon babe, you gotta come for me." Juice grunted as he held himself off, determined for her to come before he did.

The combination of everything he was doing set her off and she gripped his shoulders tightly as she rode the waves of her orgasm. Juice tried to ride her through it but seconds later he was done, having held himself off as long as possible.

They lay joined together for a few moments, catching their breath, before Juice pulled out and helped her up.

"We are gunna be so late for this appointment thanks to you." He joked. But Roxy simply righted herself, put her panties back on and walked out with a flirty grin.

xxx xxx

"FUCK HAP!!!" Harley cried out as she bucked back against him.

Sex with Happy was always hard and fast, he didn't like to take things easy, but Harley could always feel the passion there and she loved it. He encouraged her to do things in bed she'd refused to do with anyone else. All her previous bedfellows just assumed she was kinky because she was a porn producer, but none of them realised the trust that went into that shit. Trust that your partner wouldn't take it too far or that they'd ignore your wants and wishes and just use you.

But she trusted Happy. She trusted him with her life, so when he wanted to get down in the bedroom she had no issues. She had 100% trust and faith in him that he'd be safe with her, he'd take care of her needs and make sure she had a good time.

So when he brought out the restraints for their morning session she had no qualms whatsoever. They didn't do kinky shit all the time, and it's not like he had a box of sex toys he lugged around with him. But on occasion, when Harley had samples sent to her he was more than willing to test them out. Now being one of those times.

Harley's phone started ringing incessantly on the bedside table and she glanced at it before back to Happy who slowed as it rang for a second time. When it eventually rang a third time he rolled his eyes and grabbed it to check the called ID before moving again. Harley writhed beneath him, her arms locked to the headboard she was desperate to touch him and he smirked, loving the control he had over her.

Happy answered the call, not once breaking eye contact with Harley who was becoming more impatient by the second.

"Juice. Why you calling my Old Lady's phone?... sure... she's a little tied up right now..." he chuckled at Juice's words. "... yeah I'll make sure she gets there." He hung up the call and tossed it onto the bed and turned his full attention back to Harley, lowering his head to kiss her he increased the speed and depth of his thrusts to the intensity he knew would get her off.

xxx xxx

Happy watched as Harley got herself ready for the hospital. She was dressing rather conservatively today, he noticed she was always very well put together, but when she worked it had a far sexier edge to it. When she was around family and the club she was more relaxed, and he liked that. A lot of people, on first glance, thought Harley was fake, and a bimbo. She had surgically enhanced her chest, pushing her natural A cup to an inflated DD to match Roxy's natural DDs, she had died her mousy hair bleach blonde and always had her extensions in. Harley was always well made up, dressed to impress regardless of location and always, always wore bitch heels.

But personality wise she was all natural and Happy loved that about her. She wore her heart on her sleeve, had a fantastic sense of humour and was always tactfully honest, never hiding what was on her mind. Happy was a good people reader, he needed it in his line of work, picking up on others' nuances and body language allowed him to exact the right pain to extract the right information. But he liked that he didn't have to read Harley. He liked that he could come home to her and just be... home. He didn't need to worry about her bitch dramas or guilt trips or any other chick shit you'd normally expect from women. It was like she was made for him.

"You're thinking awfully loud Happy Lowman." She quirked an eyebrow as she pushed her earring through.

"Nah. Just watching." He stated from his spot on the bed, fully dressed and ready to go. He was going to escort her to the hospital and leave with Juice for the run.

"Well wanna watch my ass as I walk to the car?" She smirked.

"You know it." He grinned and followed her out the door. It was a nice ass, one he was starting to think he'd follow anywhere.

xxx xxx

"So what's it like having him live there full time?" Roxy was killing the time while she was pumped with fluid from the IV. The boys had said their goodbyes and left them to it.

Happy had moved into Harley's officially after he'd done her crow. He'd been spending all his time there anyway and just storing his shit in his dorm at the clubhouse but now he'd moved all his important stuff to Harley's and only kept extra clothes at the clubhouse for when he was caught on the run.

Harley chuckled from her spot on the visitor's chair. "Don't really make much change he was there all the time anyway. And it's not like he has much in the way of stuff." She laughed. "I dunno how someone can get to almost 40 and not have any item of furniture or memorabilia. His Ma has keepsakes for him but he says he never wants them around."

"That's kinda sad." Roxy commented.

Harley shrugged. "He's got a photo of his Ma and one of me in his kutte. Reckons that's all he needs." She was quiet for a moment. "Only other think he has is a necklace of Ariana's he keeps in there too."

Roxy watched her for a moment. "What do you think of that?"

Harley shrugged again and looked down at her acrylic nails, flicking them against each other as she thought. "I dunno. I get it. But sometimes I feel like maybe I'm competing with her in a way. Like I'm always gunna be competing for that spot in his mind. I know if he ever is in some kinda life or death situation it won't be me that crosses his mind, it'll be her."

Roxy didn't really know what to say to that so she just squeezed Harley's arm and kept quiet.

xxx xxx

"Tha's prime gash you're passin' up brotha." Chibs slapped Happy's back.

"Don't tell me you're jumping on the pussy whipped wagon with those sad sacks." Tig gestured to Jax and Juice who'd also waved off any sweetbutts that came their way.

Happy just shrugged and downed another shot. Not adding anything to the conversation.

"Not like you to pass up road pussy, let alone Indian Hills pussy." Jax raised an eyebrow at the change they'd all seen in Happy in recent weeks.

Happy was sick of all the comments on his personal life, he knew they gossiped more than bitches but now it was aimed at him it wasn't so funny.

He levelled Jax with a calculating glare. "I ever made you doubt my loyalty to the club?" He watched as Jax eyed him curiously before shaking his head. "So what makes you think I'd make Harley doubt my loyalty to her?"

Jax conceded the point with a nod and a slap on his brother's back. "You're damn right Hap. Sorry brother."

Juice smiled as he watched on, having someone as macho as Hap announcing his retirement from the whole road pussy deal made it a lot easier for him to fly under the radar and avoid the comments from the rest of the guys.

Juice stood and downed the rest of his beer, announcing his departure from the group. "That's my cue to head off and call my _wife_. See ya in the morning brothers."

He did receive some jeers, mainly from Tig, but Happy joined him on the walk back to the dorms. Also pulling out his phone.

Juice settled himself on the bed and pulled out his phone after dressing down to his boxers. He pressed Roxy's speed dial and waited for her to pick up, hoping he'd not woken up.

 _"Hello?"_ Roxy's voice mumbled through the phone.

"Hey baby. How you doing? Did I wake you?" He glanced at the time. 11pm was kind of late for normal people but Roxy was used to late night calls from him and 11pm was fairly early for them.

 _"Nah I've been napping on and off all day. Been feeling not too bad. Just tired."_

"The IV go ok?"

 _"So much fun..."_ she drawled sarcastically. _"But yeah I'm doing ok now. Might have to make it a weekly thing, see how we go."_

"Ah that's shit babe." He was quiet for a beat. "Don't suppose you're up for phone sex?"

Roxy chuckled. _"No sorry babe. I'm totally beat right now. But I'll send you a photo if that helps?"_

"Yeah. That'll help babe." He smiled to himself. This pregnancy shit was hard but he had to remind himself that it was harder the last time when he was inside and he should count his blessings. This time he'd be there for Roxy and his kid, he'd get to experience it all with her and look after her. This time was going to be great, despite all the shit she was going through, he'd make sure of that.

"I love you babe. Just look after yourself tomorrow and I'll be back the next day."

 _"I love you too."_

They hung up, and sure enough Roxy did send him a photo in her scantily clad pyjamas, a cute smirk playing at her lips. Juice studied the photo, taking in Roxy in all her beauty, but decided he didn't feel like much so he settled himself in bed and sent her a photo back.

 _I'll be home before you know it xx_ \- J

 **A/N: it'd be nice to hear from you! Please drop me a review and let me know what you think of the direction from here :)**


	120. Chapter 120

**A/N: omg I'm so sorry about the delay!!! This has been the longest between chapters. Would you believe I had a baby around chapter 4 or 5 but that didn't stop me writing. But now having a cold did?**

 **Anyways I've got it done and I hope you like it. Bit more backstory with Hap and Harley at the end and bit of a time jump at the start.**

 **The story is close to finishing. Maybe by chapter 130? I have the final story line lined up for after the end of her pregnancy but if there's extra stuff you want to see in between please let me know.**

 **Also hello to all the new favouriters and followers! It's great to see those numbers climb, I'm glad you enjoy.**

 **And of course thanks for the reviews guys!**

 _20 weeks..._

"Well all seems to be going well Roxy. Baby is nice and healthy and you seem to be keeping well this week." Dr. Warner finished her fortnightly checkup. "You'll be seeing Dr. Baker next?"

Roxy nodded her head and collected her things. "I sure am. Another afternoon down here. You'll need to set me up with a wing named after me soon."

Dr. Warner smiled and laughed as she escorted Roxy to the waiting room. "I'm sure you don't want that. You'd have to spend more time here than you already do. And I will be seeing you tomorrow for the next ultrasound? You can find out the sex of the baby if you like."

"We are still undecided on that. We wanted to find out last time but I really only agreed to keep Juan happy seeing as he was inside then." Roxy smiled fondly when she thought of him.

"Well you have another day to think it over. I'll see you tomorrow." She patted Roxy's arm as she handed the file over to the receptionist.

"See you then." Roxy smiled her goodbyes before turning to the paperwork and signing where the receptionist pointed.

Roxy made her way down to the cafe, Harley was due to meet her for a tea before her cardiologist appointment seeing as Juice was on another Indian Hills run.

"Oh I'm sorry I'm late. I couldn't get out of that production meeting this morning." Harley offered an apologetic smile as she took the seat across from Roxy.

"That's ok. All is well at the moment."

"No IV this time?" Harley smirked, accepting the coffee Roxy had ordered for her.

"For once." She took a sip of her tea. "So how's Happy?"

Harley smiled. "He's good. I spoke to him last night, the guys seem to be having a good time."

"Hopefully not too much of a good time." Roxy scowled.

"You worried about Juice?"

Roxy hummed non committally. "I dunno. He promised me now we're married all that shit is behind us. But with me being so sick all the time our sex life has taken a huge hit."

Harley patted Roxy's hand. "I don't think you've got anything to worry about. He's in a good place, you guys are in a good place. He won't fuck it up this time."

"I hope you're right. I can't help but worry. I try to keep him satisfied but 90% of the time I wanna vomit so... I'm not the sexiest right now." She chuckled. "Why couldn't I be one of these horny pregnant women?!"

Harley laughed. "20 more weeks and it'll be done. Then neither of you will want sex with all the sleep deprivation."

Roxy rolled her eyes. "Hope not. Anyway finish up. We gotta get upstairs."

They made their way slowly up to the cardiology department. Roxy was busy signing the paperwork for her ECG when the receptionist started babbling on.

"So I was sending your mom's files over to her new cardiologist in Norco. I didn't realise she'd remarried? Congratulations must be in order. I did send some flowers on behalf of Dr. Baker, he was sad to see her leave."

Roxy stopped filling in the form. "What?!"

Stacy, the receptionist, stopped talking immediately and looked between Harley and Roxy as they looked toward each other.

"Oh. I'm sorry. I thought you'd have known." She quickly back tracked.

"It's ok." Roxy tried to smooth over the situation. "We, uh, had a bit of a falling out. But I'm glad she's happy." She turned and signed the last of the forms and handed them back to Stacy. "Out of curiosity, what is her married name?"

Stacy shifted uncomfortably. Unsure of what to say. "Padilla."

xxx xxx

"Jax?!" Jax jumped up from the car he was working on at the sound of his name being yelled across the lot. He dropped the tag and moved out the bay doors to see Roxy stomping across the lot towards him.

"Everything ok sis? Need me to get Juice home?" He worried at the look on her face.

"No, nothing like that. Did you know Ma got married?" She asked almost breathlessly as Harley jogged up behind her.

"Fuck you move fast for a pregnant bitch." She complained as she caught up to the pair.

"No I didn't. What the hell? To who?" Jax ignored Harley's comments. He figured it would be Nero but when she said the words he still couldn't believe it.

"Nero. Obviously." She scoffed.

"I can't believe that guy. After all the shit she pulled?"

"Guess he's sticking by her after all."

"Well he's a fucking idiot then."

Roxy was silent for a moment, feeling herself tear up at the thought of her Ma. She'd been thinking of her more recently. Having lost Gabriel at 18 weeks that had been a hard marker in this pregnancy and she found herself thinking of Gemma more and more in recent weeks. She had been so happy for Roxy the last time and everyone needs their mother when they're pregnant.

Jax pulled her in for a hug, a move that surprised her slightly. He'd sensed her mood and knew she was missing Gemma.

"I know it sucks sis. But this is for the best. Don't forget about what she did to you and Juice with all her lies." He murmured against her head.

"I know Jax. But I kinda miss her. I want to share this with her I guess. I mean she missed my wedding and even after everything that happened sometimes I wish that things were different."

Jax gently pushed her out of the hug and held her by the shoulders. He searched her eyes before talking. "I know. But this is for the best."

"Maybe." She conceded.

"Look, just don't do anything stupid. Don't go contacting her or anything. Promise?" He waited for her to respond and when she didn't he continued. "If you do it'll have club repercussions. You know that, right?"

Roxy considered his words for a moment. She knew talking to someone who was excommunicated ran the risk of her too being excommunicated. Something she couldn't risk right now.

"Yeah I know Jax. I won't talk to her."

"Good. Take her home Harley. She needs to rest."

Roxy rolled her eyes at her brother but gave him a kiss on the cheek before following Harley back to the car ready to spend another night at home while she waited for Juice.

xxx xxx

The runs to Indian Hills were good for some extra cash, extra cash he needed with all Roxy's hospital bills at the moment, but they were draining.

He and Roxy hadn't had much time to be intimate then he'd was spending a few days every month surrounded by prime pussy at the Indian Hills clubhouse and brothel. Then he'd go home and maintain RedWoody's website followed by the odd shift at Diosa. It was killing him.

But he was being faithful. He knew he couldn't risk any bullshit now. Those days were well and truly behind him. It also helped that Happy was model example of a faithful Old Man. Something none of them had expected. But like he'd pointed out to Jax a couple months ago he did pride himself on his loyalty and his loyalty to Harley was no different.

Juice liked to think he was a loyal person too. And really he was. But he just didn't have the same examples of love in his life that some of the others did. And he wasn't as strong as some of his brothers.

To be fair on himself he had been doing better recently, mentally. Everything with the pregnancy had been somewhat stressful on him, he spent a lot of time worrying about Roxy's health, the baby's health, finances, and the impending birth. But he was finding better ways to deal with it these days.

Roxy had managed to convince him to start taking anti-anxiety meds and it was really helping. Now they were out from the cartel and gun running he afforded himself the luxury of looking after his mental health. The hectic rush of club life was gone and he was in a stable enough position to give the meds a try. Something he couldn't have done a year ago. And he was glad for it.

Pulling up in his driveway, a few hours earlier than expected, he parked the bike and prayed to god that Roxy was feeling up for a round between the sheets.

Unfortunately as he came in the door he found Roxy all dressed up to go out. A tight blue summer dress highlighting her little baby bump, hair flowing, wavy, down her shoulders.

"Juan? I thought you'd be back tonight?" She smiled as she kissed him.

"Thought I'd surprise you. Didn't think you'd be going out." He scowled as she grabbed her purse.

"You shoulda said babe. I'm sorry." She pecked his cheek. "Tara's picking me up to go baby shopping. We tried going the other day but I was too sick so we rescheduled for today. We were supposed to be back before you."

He pulled her in for another kiss, running his hands down her sides to her hips and pulled her against him. "Cancel." He breathed against her neck as he kissed down to her shoulder.

Roxy moaned softly and pulled back slightly. "I'm sorry babe. She said she'd be here at 1 and it's five to. I promise I'll make it up to you tonight."

Juice groaned and dropped his hands from her body. "Fine. I need to shower anyway." He grumbled and grabbed his run bag from where he dropped it on the floor before stalking off to the bedroom.

"I'm sorry!" Roxy called after him but she just got a mumbled _love you_ in response.

She sighed and checked herself over again before opening the door to wait for Tara.

xxx xxx

Juice stood in the shower, hot water running down his back as he rested his forehead on the cool tiles of the shower wall.

He'd fucking missed Roxy these last few days and when Tig said they were headed back early he couldn't wait to get back to bed with her. Or fucking anywhere with her for that matter. He just needed her. He started thinking about how good she looked this afternoon. Glowing, healthy, happy. And her tits looked so fucking good in that dress...

 _Fuck. Now he really needed her._

He decided, with Roxy being out, he'd have some time to himself to take this into his own hands. Literally. Usually when he jacked off he'd have to do it in the shower seeing as Roxy was usually sick in bed. But with the house to himself he figured he could get comfy in the bed.

After quickly drying himself off he moved back to the bedroom and grabbed what he needed. He settled himself down onto the bed and grabbed the TV remote. He flicked over to their media system and found his porn stash. Roxy knew he had it and they'd watch together from time to time.

Flicking through to find what he wanted he clicked on the video. He had a lot of Cara Cara stuff and RedWoody stuff, but found it a bit weird to watch given he knew a lot of the stars. He never used to mind when he was single as he could usually go seek one of them out in real life. But now it just felt weird, like cheating. So he settled on some other shit he'd downloaded.

Watching the two girls getting hot and heavy on the screen he slowly started running his hand up and down his hardening cock.

xxx xxx

Roxy had been waiting in the living room for fifteen minutes while Juice showered but Tara was a no show. Hearing the shower turn off she decided to text Tara to see what the hold up was. She eventually got a text back saying Thomas was running a fever and she felt bad leaving him with Elyda so she'd have to cancel.

Roxy didn't mind too much seeing that Juice was home early, so she set about putting her stuff away and decided to have a quick drink before going back in to Juice.

As she went to grab a glass she heard the soft moaning coming from their room. She scoffed. _He's watching fucking porn. I've only been gone five minutes!_

She wasn't too angry though, she did feel bad for her abrupt departure, but it was his own fault for not telling her he was coming back early.

She quietly approached their bedroom and could hear the breathless moans of the, no doubt, girl on girl porn he was watching. The sounds intensified and Roxy cracked the door slowly and could clearly see Juice lying on the bed, left arm behind his head as his right worked himself over. Roxy could see the light sheen of water that coated his torso, no doubt he hadn't dried fully after his shower.

She was soon distracted by the vision of his muscles contracting, seemed like he was close. She wasn't really sure what to do but when he moaned she could feel herself drawn to the bed. Her body craving him with a surprise intensity.

"Fuck, Roxy." He groaned.

She stopped in her tracks thinking she'd been caught but his eyes were still closed. It appeared that the porn was all but forgotten now and he was deep into his own fantasy.

Roxy stopped at the foot of the bed and wondered what to do next. She wanted to take over for him, but figured sneaking on him like that could earn her a black eye if he was taken off guard. So she settled for something else.

"Mind if I step in?" She asked in a sultry tone.

Juice jumped when he heard her voice, and his eyes shot open. Totally embarrassed to be caught in such a position he scrambled to cover himself while stuttering some random mix of apologies.

Roxy took this as her cue and lowered herself onto the bed and slid up beside his body, as best she could with her neat little bump.

"Hey, calm down. I think I've got it from here." She smirked and pulled Juice's hands away from his body.

"I thought you'd gone." He shyly admitted while she kissed down his chest.

"So I see." She continued on her path.

"Sorry about that."

Roxy stopped at his navel and cast her eyes up to his face. "Ain't no shame in this baby." She dropped her eyes back down to his body and slid her hand along his length. "Lord knows I do it plenty times while you're away."

Juice moaned, both at her touch and her words. "Shit Rox."

"Mmmm, when I miss you baby. This is what I think about while you're away on those long, hard, runs."

Juice was about to say something else but the feel of Roxy's tongue running along his length stopped any form of coherent thoughts in their tracks.

Roxy took him in her mouth and began working him over. The taste of the cherry lube he'd used was sweet and enticing on his long length. The sounds of the girls on the tv in the background spurred her on and before long Juice was grasping at the sheets and her hair as she moved.

But he didn't want to come yet, this was the first time he'd had her like this in over a week and he wanted it to be right. So he pulled her back up and had her lay down next to him. Before Roxy could question him on it he started kissing down her neck as he pushed his hand under her dress. It was hard to find positions that worked as she started showing, and from now the bump was only going to get bigger so they were starting to get creative.

After some more kissing, Juice slid down her panties and started work on bra, he managed to slide it down with the top of her dress to free her breasts.

"Fuck I've missed you." He growled as he sucked down her chest. He kissed and licked over her scarred crow, he knew she hated that reminder on her skin but he didn't. It was still his. Though he had plans for new ink when she wasn't pregnant.

Roxy moaned and pulled him closer as he took a nipple in his mouth. "Me too, I love you." She panted as he slid his hand back down to her clit.

It didn't take much more for her to be panting and writhing underneath him, begging for him to take her. So without further ado he lifted her leg and slid into her, loving the spooning position.

Roxy rolled her hips so she could meet his thrusts, lying almost on her back with him behind her made her feel so open, but so good.

"You feel so fucking good J." She slid her arm up and behind his neck to pull him closer and Juice moved his hand so it was back at her front, rubbing with his thumb in time with his thrusts.

It didn't take much longer for Roxy to come apart, moaning his name and tugging his hair as she writhed against him in pleasure.

Juice didn't take much longer to come, having been close since before they even started. He braced himself against her as it felt like his orgasm was never ending, adrenalin coursing through his system as he finally felt connected to Roxy once again.

After the haze of lust died down he slowly pulled away from her and reached for the remote, neither having noticed the girls on screen as they'd been so wrapped up in each other.

Roxy stopped him though and pulled the remote back so she could use it. "What are you doing?"

"Uhh turning it off?"

"We got all night yet babe." She pulled it off him and threw it on her bedside table before giving him a sexy smirk.

xxx xxx

Harley woke early the next day and started madly cleaning her house. Everything was perfect already, seeing as she'd spent the last two days cleaning in preparation for this visit. But she was nervous about having Happy's Ma come to her house.

She'd spent a bit of time with Happy's Ma, Marisol, while he was inside. While Gemma was on house arrest and the rest of the free Sons were otherwise occupied, she'd been sent to Bakersfield to get paperwork to bring Happy to sign. It had been the start of their budding friendship which continued upon his release.

She smiled remembering the first time she'd met Mari. Harley had always known Happy and his gruff and stubborn exterior and after meeting his Ma she knew damn well where he got it from. Mari Lowman was not a woman you'd mess with and had taken a long time to warm up to Harley. She'd been under the impression she was just one of the club girls and refused to give her any more respect than was reserved for sweetbutts. Happy had soon set her straight when he called her after one of Harley's visits. She had point blank refused to be the run between Mari and Happy after a particularly gruelling visit to Bakersfield and Happy had to set his Ma straight.

Ysabel, Happy's aunt had helped with Mari and had taken pity on Harley the few times she'd been to and from their home in Bakersfield. Since Happy and Harley had actually committed to their relationship everything had changed. Mari soon realised that, despite Harley's somewhat bimbo appearance, she was a genuine girl who cared deeply for her son. Something she never thought she'd see. Over the years since Ariana's death she'd seen her son go through many women. He'd never brought any home but she knew he was ladies man and worried he'd never settle down again. Not that she'd blame him, Ariana was one of a kind and a girl she'd loved like her own.

Harley was soon closing in on that status. Mari knew she'd lost her own mother and as Happy and Harley grew more serious and Harley spent more time around them, Mari had taken it upon herself to fill that role.

Harley snapped out of her thoughts when Happy entered the living room in nothing but a towel. His chest glistened with the remaining water from his shower and the toned lines of his chest led down to his abs and the deep v cut muscles that she knew led to a _very happy_ place.

"Girl, what the fuck you still cleaning for? Place can't get any cleaner." He surveyed the spotless living and dining area with an amused grin. Happy was a neat freak and Harley kept the house in pretty top shape to keep him happy but this was something else.

"I just want everything to be nice for when your Ma gets here." Harley shrugged. She was dressed in a more conservative summer dress with minimal makeup but looked stunning to him all the same.

Happy knew she still worried about what his Ma thought of her, but he knew despite their rocky start his Ma loved her. So he strode across the room to take her in his arms.

"Stop stressin. You know Ma won't give a shit."

Harley rested her forehead on his damp chest. "I know. I just want it to go well. It's the first time she's been here and I want her to think I'm looking after you right."

Happy let out a soft chuckle. "She knows you look after me fine. Plus they're just stopping in quickly after the appointment she's not gunna be searching through the cutlery drawer." He laughed remembering her frantic disinfecting of the cutlery drawer last night and shook his head.

"Still. I wanna make a good impression, prove I'm not some bimbo porn queen." She mumbled.

Happy pulled back and tipped her chin up so she'd be looking into his eyes. "She knows that. That shit in the beginning was just her being careful. She knows you're good baby." He planted a quick kiss on her lips and pulled away. "I'm gunna get dressed, just sit the fuck down, take a xanax if you can't sit still. You're making me nervous."

Harley rolled her eyes, she was the nervous one, he didn't have shit to worry about.

xxx xxx

Mari had a specialist appointment in Oakland at the big hospital there so Ysabel had driven her, when Happy had heard they'd be so close he insisted they come by Charming so she could see where he was at. He knew his Ma would be impressed with him playing house. She had made it very clear she didn't want him to live the rest of his life alone. Especially if her cancer continued to get worse.

And unfortunately it was getting worse.

Ysabel helped her older sister into the pristine house and Mari surveyed it with the same hawk eyes her son possessed. She was amazed to see him so comfortable in such a normal looking and well kept home. It made her smirk as he rose from the plush leather armchair to greet her.

"Ma." He kissed her cheek as Harley ushered them both in the door.

" _Mijo_." She squeezed his arm. "Harley, _mi querida_." She enveloped Harley in a strong hug despite her frail state.

Mari and Happy were very similar in appearance, both tan, both dark eyes, dark hair and strong features with plush lips. But Mari was considerably smaller than her son. Harley knew that in her heyday she'd have been a small pot of fury but now, as a 59 year old cancer patient... well she lacked that spark of fury.

"Please, come sit. I've got some tea and coffee coming but make yourselves at home." Harley led them to the living room before ducking through the archway to the kitchen where she braced herself against the countertop and let out a deep breath.

"Stop stressing, the house is lovely and Mari is excited to see you." Ysabel's soft voice, which was a vast contrast to her sister and nephew's, pulled Harley from her thoughts.

"Oh shit, sorry Ysabel, I didn't see you there." Harley had jumped at the voice.

"Don't worry. I'll help you with the drinks." She moved to help Harley set the coffees the way everyone liked.

"So how'd it go today?" Harley asked softly. She knew the appointment was an important one, despite Happy downplaying it.

Ysabel sighed lengthily. "Not good. The chemo isn't working anymore and the doctors are doubtful she's going to see out the year at this rate."

"Oh Ysabel, I'm so sorry." She squeezed the other woman's hand. "This must be so hard for you." She'd cared for her sister for the last two years. Ysabel was considerably younger, only in her late 40s and had three children of her own to raise whilst also looking after her ailing sister.

Ysabel shrugged. "I'm not so worried about me. It's how Hap is going to take it that I'm worried about."

As she said the words Harley could hear Happy's voice raising from the living room before Mari's rose to cut it down.

"I can see why. I should probably see what's happening." Harley moved to the archway.

"I'll get the drinks." Ysabel gave a soft smile.

When Harley entered the living room she could see Happy pacing in front of his mother who simply rubbed her temples, frustrated with her son's temper. A feeling Harley knew all too well.

"Happy?" Harley stepped further into the room.

"What?!" He snapped.

"What's going on?"

He stopped pacing and looked between his Ma and his Old Lady. He didn't want to tell Harley what his Ma had just said. That would make it all too real.

So instead he moved to the front door. "I'm going for a smoke." And he did, slamming the door behind him.

Mari sighed lengthily and beckoned for Harley to join her. "Things didn't go so well today."

"Ysabel said. I see Happy didn't take it so well?" Harley sat next to Mari.

"No. And I don't think it's going to get any better as this goes on."

"Shit." Harley was silent a moment. "He loves you so much Mari. This is gunna break him."

"Two years ago I would have agreed with you. But now he's got you. He has someone else to share his heart with." Harley shook her head. "You don't think so?"

"It's complicated."

"What's complicated. You love him. He loves you. Simple."

"I love him. Yes. But I dunno Mari... I'm sure I hold a small part of his heart. But not all of it. And I don't think it's enough to get him past all this."

Mari cottoned on quickly. "Ariana?" Harley nodded. "What happened with them was terrible. And I think, after everything that happened to him growing up, that that was the tipping point for the way he is now. He shut down big time after that." Her dark eyes settled on Harley and she took the younger girl's hand in hers. "But I've seen him start opening up again, since he's been with you. Don't downplay the part you have in his life _mija_."

Harley smiled at the term of endearment. Mari had taken to calling her _mi querida_ (my dear) in recent months but calling her her daughter was a new level.

"I hope you're right Mari."

"Trust me. I always am." She smirked the same mischevious smirk Happy sometimes wore and looked up as Ysabel entered the room with the tray of drinks.

"Everything ok?" She asked as she set down the drinks.

"Happy is just taking a moment." Mari replied as she helped herself to a coffee.

Harley stood to go check on him but Ysabel encouraged her to stay. "No you talk. I'll see how he is." Truthfully she hoped he was in a good mood. She had more shit to pile on and she didn't think Happy was going to like it.

xxx xxx

Happy had long since finished the joint and it had done fuck all to ease his tension. He knew his Ma wouldn't be around forever, fuck he'd seen more than his fair share of death, caused most of it too. But for some reason it just never seemed real to him that his Ma wasn't invincible.

But fuck it. She deserved more than this. More than to die some frail shell of a person who couldn't do shit for themselves. And he knew that's where this was going. He could see it in her every time he saw her.

Mari deserved more after the shitty life she'd had. After his deadbeat, woman bashing, father left them Mari had been a single mom working any job she could to make ends meet while doing her best to look after him. When Happy started fucking around as a teenager she'd taken the blame for his behaviour directly on her shoulders. He didn't have a father and she was working so much she thought that had impacted him badly. But to Happy she'd been a positive role model, someone hard working to aspire to. He just wasn't capable of living straight and that was no ones fault but his own.

His many stints in jail hadn't helped and every time he was locked away she would question her parenting abilities but he always did everything in his power to show her it wasn't her fault. He tried to pay back everything she ever did for him, but it could never be enough.

He was pulled from his thoughts by Ysabel sitting on the porch steps next to him. She pulled a smoke from her packet and offered one to him. He accepted and lit them both.

"How you doing _tia_?" He asked gruffly. Ysabel was not even 10 years older than him but he respected her as his aunt all the same. He didn't call her _tia_ often but when he did it was always with love. He could never repay her for looking after his Ma like she did.

"I'm ok Happy. Well, ok as I can be. You?"

He shrugged his shoulders, still looking out at the street as he blew some more smoke out. "Gunna have to be ok I guess."

"She always worried about you before. But now you've got Harley she's more at peace with all this."

Happy sighed and turned to Ysabel. She's a good girl."

"That she is." She wondered how she was going to get around this next bit. "Look Hap, I uh, I got more bad news."

He snapped his eyes to hers, wondering what the fuck else she was going to pile on. "Yeah?" He asked warily.

Ysabel shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. "I've been asked to transferred to Phoenix, and it's kinda one of those transfers where if I don't go I don't have a job."

"Shit." She wasn't kidding when she said bad news. He felt sorry for his aunt, she'd worked damn hard to get her job and climb the ladder. She was head of PR for some manufacturing firm and he'd always worried something like this would happen. She has three kids of her own to look after alone after their father had died in a car accident. He couldn't ask her to stay and he couldn't ask her to take his Ma, she'd be too far to visit and he had to face it, in coming months she was going to need round the clock care. She wouldn't be able to stay home alone all day while Ysabel went to work.

"You gotta take it Ysabel. I'll figure out something for Ma."

Ysabel let out a sigh of relief and gave Happy a peck on the cheek. "I'm sorry Hap. About everything. And I'll be coming to visit whenever I can. It's so shit this is happening right now because I'm going to miss so much time with her."

"It's probably a blessing _tia_. You've lived with her through a lotta shit but you don't want your last memories with her to be of being her caretaker."

"And what about your memories Happy? You can't take it on either."

"She's my Ma. Course I can. Plus club is doing good enough at the moment I can pay for some nurse or some shit. One of the Old Ladies is a doctor, she'll help me figure it out."

Ysabel nodded. "Ok. I'll let them know. And once you've figured it out I'll tell your Ma." She stood and held her hand out to him, but of course he didn't accept and stood by himself. "Let's go back in and save Harley from your Ma's words of wisdom."

xxx xxx

The rest of the visit had gone without incident and Harley realised she'd freaked out for no reason. She could tell Happy wasn't himself though. He was quiet, quieter than normal. Not many people would notice but Harley did.

"Everything ok?" She sat down on the garden chair next to his and stole a toke of his joint.

Happy sighed and rubbed a hand over his bald head. "Ysabel has been transferred to Phoenix. Can't really take Ma with her so I gotta figure out what to do. She won't go to a hospice, plus it's too expensive anyway, and I don't want her in Bakersfield alone with just some shitty home help coming to check on her. Deserves more than that."

Harley watched as he rambled through his options, she knew this was all killing him. He loved his Ma more than anyone thought he was capable of. To the club and others he was just a heartless killer. But she knew how he really was. And she knew what would make him happy.

"Why don't we move her in with us?" She offered. Not really sure what reaction to expect as she studied his face while he considered it.

"You'd do that?" He asked sceptically.

"Yes. Of course. She's your family right? I'm your Old Lady?" He nodded to both. "Therefore she's my family. And ain't no family of mine gunna be stuck in some shitty ass hospice while we've got a spare room with a comfy bed."

If ever there was a time for Happy to finally say he loved her this was it. And he knew it.

But all he could do was nod and watch the smile light up her face before she started planning the whole thing out.

Then the moment was gone.


	121. Chapter 121

**A/N: hello again!**

 **Thanks to the usual reviewers and hello to Raging Raven who read this all in like two days. I forgot to say thanks for reading last time.**

 **Anyways hoping to get a bit more out in coming days. Thanks for being patient.**

 **Also hello to the readers from Tumblr who've told me they read :)**

 **As always I love hearing from you all. I cracked the big 300 reviews which is super exciting. But it's not really about numbers, I just want to hear what you think so I know how I'm writing. So please enjoy, read, and review :)**

 **Anyways...**

 _24 weeks_

"So Alvarez called here last night. Their run through Lodi was hit last night and they lost two guys. Wanting to know if we had anything to do with it." Chibs explained the reason for the early church.

"Fuck. Well if it wasn't us who was it?" Jax asked.

"Not sure but we're meeting Alvarez today to sort it out. He's chasing up some leads. But in the meantime I'm thinking keep your Old Ladies down here. Just to be safe. We don't know what we're dealing with." The table agreed with Chibs and with a bang of the gavel they were done.

Juice and Happy were the first to exit the chapel and head straight for their Old Ladies who were huddled together in a booth.

Juice easily slid in next to Roxy, planting a kiss on her forehead and rubbing her small bump with his other hand.

"Everything ok?" Roxy eyed Juice as Happy tilted Harley's head up for a demanding and possessive kiss.

"Yeah. You two gotta stay here today while we look in to some stuff." Juice answered. Roxy nodded but couldn't keep the worried expression off her face. "It's nothing major baby. Just need some answers from Alvarez before we let you run free."

"I can assure you, Juice, that Roxy won't be doing any running any time soon." Harley snickered.

"I'm not that big yet Harley. Got a long time to go before we hit waddling stage." Roxy defended, but Juice and Harley just laughed, even Happy let out a chuckle. "I don't waddle!" Roxy exclaimed.

"I'm sorry babe. But you kinda do." Juice snickered.

Roxy looked up to Happy who smirked and shrugged before back to Juice. "Oh fuck you Juan Carlos." She huffed.

Juice and Harley just shared another laugh and Juice pulled Roxy back into his side for another cuddle. The happy moment was interrupted by Chibs before long and the guys had to head out, leaving Roxy alone with Harley once again.

"So how is it having Mari at your house?" Roxy asked Harley. Mari had only just moved in last week and they hadn't had a chance to chat about it.

Harley smiled softly. "It's actually really nice. I mean she is quite sick so she can't do too much, but it's nice to come home and know that there's family there."

Roxy hadn't really given too much thought to how lonely Harley had been recently. They'd both lost their parents in such a short amount of time it hadn't occurred to Roxy that Harley was feeling almost the exact same as she was.

"That must be good."

"It's comforting. But like I said, she's very ill so we just have to watch out for her more than her looking after us. She does have a home nurse that comes during the days to help her. So that's good. I don't know how Happy would cope being the one to help her shower and look after herself."

"S'pose it's something no son wants to do for their mother."

"Exactly. Never mind when that son is Happy."

Roxy was quiet for a moment, happy to see Harley smiling and looking well. "How is everything with you two?"

"Yeah, good I think. He's been a bit more open with stuff since his mom moved in." She fiddled with her coffee cup for a second before continuing. "Still hasn't said he loves me though."

Roxy frowned. She knew how much Happy meant to Harley and wished he'd just put her out of her misery. It was obvious to everyone around that he was head over heels for Harley but he just couldn't seem to admit it to himself and say those three words.

"You know he does love you though?"

Harley hummed non committally. "Maybe." She sighed. "Yeah I do. But sometimes it'd just be nice to hear it. I can't help feeling like I'm competing against a ghost and hearing that from him would settle it you know?"

"I know." Roxy thought maybe she should just take matters into her own hands and talk to Happy. As daunting as that sounded.

xxx xxx

The guys had rode to Stockton for their meet with Alvarez, hoping he had some info on these other bikers. Juice pulled up and took off his helmet before leaning back against his bike and looking over to Happy. The SAA had seemed a lot happier lately and Juice figured it was having his Ma close that was doing it.

"Reckon we're gunna find out what the problem is?" He questioned Happy.

Happy shrugged. "Hope so. Don't need jokers coming in and upsetting the balance."

SAMCRO watched as the Mayans pulled up into the abandoned lot and made their way over to greet them all. It was good to know they were on good terms with their once rivals.

"Chibs." Alvarez said by way of greeting as the two presidents embraced. Happy took one side of Chibs as SAA and Quinn the other as VP.

Juice thought they made a good team, Quinn had been president of the Nomads for some time so when Chibs asked him to be his VP he thought it was a good fit. The pickings had been slim amongst the SAMCRO members and it made sense for someone detached from that club history to take second in command. Plus he was a scary motherfucker just like Happy.

"So what do we know lads?" Chibs asked as everyone settled in around the group.

Alvarez sighed. "Iron Devils MC are the ones who hit my shipment. Found out they'd been working with the Triads before that shit all went down. Lin had been helping them set up over here."

"They're an eastern crew aren't they?" Chibs questioned.

"They were. Seems they're expanding nationally. Opened up a few central charters over the last year but they opened up recently in Carson City and Las Vegas. We'd heard of them but now it seems they have a Sacramento crew opening. Lin had been wanting to set them up with the H trade through there."

"Slimy bastard. Glad we put him down when we had the chance." Chibs looked briefly to Juice who had stiffened among the group. "So what's the plan?"

"I don't know yet _ese_. We keep an eye on them for now. Figure out what their game plan is before retaliation."

Chibs sighed. Getting out of the gun trade had been SAMCRO's out to a quieter life. Seems like that wasn't going to happen.

"Carson City isn't far from Indian Hills. We best give them a heads up. Juice?" He turned to Juice who was still seething at the mention of Lin.

"On it." He turned from the group to place the call.

Once Juice had spoken to Bullet he returned to the group. "We're due on a run up there next week. Told the guys to keep an eye out. They've heard of the Iron Devils but so far haven't caused any beef or encroached on their turf. But Bullet says that's probably because they have no interest in running pussy."

"Good. Seems like we got some shit to sort." Chibs turned back to Alvarez. "Thanks for the heads up. Let us know if you need a hand with anything. And sorry about your guys."

The two groups farewelled each other before SAMCRO headed back to their bikes.

Chibs was frustrated. He was wanting to take his guys forward on the path Jax had started. The last thing they needed was to get involved with bullshit MC rivalries over drugs. This was why SAMCRO had never wanted into that trade to begin with. Their failed dealings with the cartel just cemented it in their minds.

xxx xxx

"Tired?" Juice asked as they settled in at home that night. Seeing as there was no impending threat Chibs had agreed they could go home.

"Yeah. I'm always tired these days." Roxy hadn't been as sick this week but the nausea was always bubbling under the surface. The more she exerted herself the worse it got and she'd end up in bed for days. "What did you find out today?" She asked as she snuggled up on the sofa with him.

Juice wrapped an arm around her shoulder, anchoring her to him before twirling a piece of her hair round his fingers. "Some eastern MC is opening up over here. Trying to get in on Alvarez's H trade." He tensed for a moment before continuing. "Lin had been helping them before it all went down."

Roxy shuddered at the thought and snuggled tighter into him at the memories. It still hadn't been a year since everything happened, that anniversary was coming around her baby's due date.

Juice sensed the change in her mood and pulled her face up so he could look in her eyes. "That's behind us now babe. No ones ever gunna hurt you like that again. Right?"

Roxy nodded. "I know. It's just a bad reminder, that's all."

"How about I remind you of something else?" He kissed her lips quickly, unsure if she'd be open to this with those memories flooding her mind.

"Make me forget." Was all she said before deepening the kiss.

"With pleasure." Juice stood and pulled her up with him to head towards their bedroom.

xxx xxx

 _26 weeks..._

The guys had been in Indian Hills for a week doing their usual protection runs for the club. Everything had gone to plan their end but Roxy was back in hospital in Charming. Juice had wanted to come back straight away but she assured him Harley was watching her and it was just the usual sickness. She tended to run herself ragged when he wasn't around. He knew the stress of him being away weighed on her and he thought that, though they needed the money these runs brought in, maybe he should take a step back.

"Penny for your thoughts?" One of Jury's girls with an amazing rack and bottle blonde hair ran her hand up his arm as she placed a beer down in front of him. He'd been tasked with taking her to and from clients and waiting outside while she did what she did. She'd been hitting on him all week but he wasn't interested.

"I'm good." Juice answered stiffly.

"Come on baby. I know you're tense. Don't you wanna let of a little steam? Test the goods?" She was persistent he would give her that.

"Nah I'm fine." She spotted the ring on his finger as he lifted the beer to his mouth, almost draining it in one hit.

"Wife troubles?" She queried. Her eyes glinting with mischief.

"Pregnant wife. In hospital actually while I cart your ass around all week." He huffed out.

"Sorry to hear that sugar. How far along is she?" Her tone changed, Candy didn't mind hitting on married men, but hearing about the sick and pregnant wife changed her tune instantly. Candy had once been a nurse on a maternity ward. That was until she lost her baby and couldn't stand the thought of nursing any more. Back in a different life.

"26 weeks. But she's been pretty sick the whole time." Juice finished his beer and motioned to another sweetbutt to grab him another.

"That sucks. Why you still coming here then?" She'd wondered about it. She'd seen Juice on most of the runs, they helped out giving the Indian Hills guys a break one week every month but she'd usually been placed with Quinn. He'd not hesitated to sample the goods he was transporting.

"Need the money." He shrugged.

"Mmm. Well let me know if you need anything." She smiled softly, but Juice scowled. "Not like that. I just know it must suck to be away. Most these guys wouldn't hesitate what I offered, wife at home or not."

Juice shrugged. "Can't risk losing her again." Was all he said as he stood up with his fresh beer and made his way back to the dorms.

xxx xxx

Things had gone smoothly all week and tonight was their last night on the job before the Indian Hills guys took back over. A few of Jury's girls had been booked out to attend some private party and were all going to the same function. So Juice, Happy, Quinn, Tig, and Montez loaded the girls up and made their way to the house. Montez drove the van with the girls while the rest escorted on bikes.

Happy and Quinn went inside the house with the girls to watch over them at the raucous bachelor's party. They were the two most imposing guys and would surely scare the men inside enough they wouldn't try shit with the girls.

That left Tig, Montez, and Juice outside to shoot the shit while they waited for the girls to finish up their set. They were only booked for two hours but it seemed to be dragging on forever. Juice was impatiently pacing as he smoked a joint. He was anxious for the girls to finish as this was their last job before they were free to head back to Charming.

"Dude can you chill the fuck out?" Montez barked out when he'd had enough of the nervous tension.

Juice stopped and scowled at him before leaning back against the van with him and Tig.

"What's your problem?" Tig eyed him.

"Just wanna get back to Roxy. She's still in the hospital." He threw his finished joint on the ground and stamped on the roach with the heel of his boot.

"She'll be ok. Got Harley looking after her and Rat watching over her." Tig didn't see what all the fuss was about. He knew Roxy would be fine.

"I know. I just worry about her. Every time I'm away she works herself into the ground to stay busy and then this happens. I'm thinking I should bow out of the runs for a bit." Juice was more just thinking out loud than talking to anyone in particular.

"Thought you guys needed the money?" Tig questioned.

"Kinda. But I wouldn't have as many hospital bills if I was home and she could rest." Juice bit out harshly. He hadn't told the guys they needed money and he was kind of pissed that Roxy would have told the others. It wasn't any of their business and it made him look like a shitty Old Man.

"Stop stressing so much brother. It'll all work out." Tig could sense Juice's anger and decided to stop the conversation where it was. "Wish these bitches would hurry it up. The two hours is done."

The three stood in silence, smoking, as they heard things wind up and watched as Happy and Quinn eventually escorted the girls from the house.

"We good to go brother?" Tig asked Happy as they walked down the driveway, the girls counting their tips. Jury let them keep tips but the base fee went to the club.

"Yup. Load em up and let's ride." Happy answered gruffly. He was just as ready to head home as Juice was. At this stage he was going to see if Juice fancied riding back tonight rather than in the morning with the other three.

"Let's roll!" Tig slapped the side of the van on his way to his bike. He and Quinn were leading while Juice and Happy brought up the rear.

It was about a 30 minute ride back to the Indian Hills clubhouse and Juice used the time to clear his head. He needed to stop worrying about Roxy all the time, it wasn't helping his OCD.

Juice was still daydreaming about Roxy when he heard the roar of bikes coming up behind him. He knew, from the direction of the bikes they wouldn't be SOA and given the party they'd taken the girls to was halfway between Indian Hills and Carson City it didn't take him long to figure out the were Iron Devils' bikes.

Juice turned to Happy who simply nodded before reaching for the gun under his kutte, Juice quickly following his lead. He didn't know what to expect but he did know they had a van with eight girls relying on SAMCRO to get them home safely and he needed to do whatever he could to make that happen.

The bikes pulled up alongside them and he noticed they were well outnumbered as they cruised along the empty lane. Juice prayed this wasn't going to go south but within seconds the Devils had pulled out their guns and took aim at the bikes.

Juice was vaguely aware that they weren't aiming high enough to hit the riders. That being his last thought before he laid his bike down.

Happy swore as he turned to see Juice's bike spinning out along the road behind him, Juice nowhere to be seen, and turned his gun on the Devils members racing ahead.

By this stage Quinn and Tig had pulled back and motioned for Montez to floor it ahead of them as they attempted to ward off the other MC. The Devils simply pulled back after shooting at their bikes some more, Happy knowing his had caught a bullet somewhere if the metallic 'ping' was any indication, and eventually the made a U turn at a crossroads before riding back the other direction.

Happy motioned to Tig and Quinn to follow him back, dreading that the Devils were going after Juice. However the closer they got to Juice's bike they realised the Devils had continued to retreat, not paying any mind to the mangled Dyna they rode past or it's missing rider.

Happy, Quinn, and Tig pulled to a stop on the side of the road next to Juice's bike and immediately started searching for him.

"What the fuck was that?" Tig demanded.

"Fuck knows but if they've put down Juice they've got hell to pay." Happy grumbled as they looked down the slight embankment for any sign of Juice.

Quinn was first to spot the lifeless lump of Juice about 30 metres back up the road and halfway down the embankment.

"Fuck." Was all that was said as they ran to their fallen brother.

Happy felt for a pulse and breathed a sigh of relief when he felt it pounding strongly under his finger tips. He'd never had a lot of time for Juice in the past, but in recent months his respect for him had grown. He'd handed shit better than Happy had ever expected him to and was proving himself in his eyes.

They searched over his body for any obvious signs of a wound and came up with nothing except for some killer road rash down the right hand side of his body, being on the outside of the lane had probably saved him as he'd hit the soft grassy embankment as soon as he slid from his bike. Had he stayed on the Tarmac he didn't think he'd be this lucky.

"Doesn't look like he's got any broken bones. Probably a major concussion coming his way though." Quinn concluded.

"Shit. Call Bullet, have them bring the flatbed and another van, they'll also need their shot doctor ready. Tig, call Charming and let em know what's gone down." Quinn may be the VP but as SAA Happy's main job was to protect the club, and right now, without knowing if the Devils were coming back this fell into his leadership category.

xxx xxx

Juice woke up and could feel nothing but stinging down the entire right side of his body. He was vaguely aware that he was in a bed but had no idea how he made it there, then he noticed the girl next to him organising some pills.

"Bout time you woke up." Candy smiled from her spot next to his bed.

"Wha- what happened?" He mumbled out through the brain fog.

"You laid down your bike last night. Don't worry nothing's broken... well your bike is but you're not." Candy smiled softly as she held her hand out with a couple pain killers and offered him a bottle of water.

"How?" He rasped after swallowing the cool water.

Candy shrugged. "I dunno. But Cookie, the club doc, says you'll be fine now you're finally awake. Charming should be here soon too to take you guys back home."

Juice nodded slowly, the pounding in his head was just being made worse by her stupidly sweet voice and he wanted to tell her to fuck off, but he was thirsty and she'd brought him water and painkillers so he figured he best be nice.

"Huh." He said as he remembered last night's events. "How bad is the bike?"

"Well I'm no mechanic or anything but I don't think-" Candy was interrupted mid sentence by the dorm room door swinging open.

"Oh my god Juice, when Chibs said you laid down your bike Harley insisted she bring me up here with them I was so worried-" Roxy stood in the doorway taking in the sight in front of her. Juice was laid on top of the blankets, stripped down to his boxers so Cookie had access to clean up and stitch his road rash. Next to him was a sultry looking Candy who was staring at Roxy wide eyed as if she'd just been caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

"Who the fuck is she? And what the fuck are you doing Juan Carlos?" Roxy's voice was icy and her body language instantly shifted towards aggression.

Candy realised how this must have looked and stood up from her kneeling position by the bed and immediately put her hands up in surrender. "I wasn't trying anything. Cookie just sent me in here to check on him."

Roxy raised an eyebrow but didn't respond, Juice eventually barked at Candy to leave and turned his attention back to Roxy. "What the hell are you doing here?" He asked, harsher than he'd intended.

"Oh well I am sorry for interrupting your Indian Hills fuckfest but Chibs said Harley and I could come." Roxy bit back.

"I'm not fucking any of these bitches so keep your hair on. What the fuck are you playing at coming here? Guys fucking shot me off my bike last night and you think it's the perfect time for a SAMCRO road trip? Could you be any more stupid?" He didn't know why he was being so harsh but he just couldn't believe how irresponsible she was right now. She was carrying their kid and for all they knew she'd just driven right into the fire. He was gunna kill Chibs for this. President or not.

"Fuck you." Roxy turned on her heel and stormed her way back through to the bar area intent on finding Harley.

When she couldn't find her anywhere she ended up sitting on one of the sofas and doing her best to push back tears.

Eventually Candy made her way over, feeling incredibly guilty for what just happened thanks to her.

She offered Roxy a bottle of water as she sat down next to her. "There isn't anything going on down here with him."

Roxy snorted derisively. "And I'm just supposed to believe you?"

"No. But believe him. He and Happy haven't touched a single girl the whole time they've been coming on runs here."

"Well Happy is loyal to a fault." Roxy shrugged.

"And Juice?" Candy asked.

Roxy picked at the label on her water bottle. "He tries to be loyal. He is deep down, but he gets caught up in his head then bitches take advantage of the situation and there we go."

"Well none of the bitches here have so you don't have to stress."

Roxy eyed Candy, she wasn't really sure whether to believe her or not but she did seem more genuine than the usual sweetbutts. Maybe she had to give them the benefit of the doubt.

But she was still livid at the way Juice spoke to her. When she heard he'd laid down his bike she almost had a heart attack. She'd only just been discharged from the hospital and she was having visions of them in side by side beds. Then she rushed here for him to treat her like that? Ugh she was gunna be sick.

"You ok?" Candy asked.

Roxy shook her head and Candy figured out straight away and grabbed Roxy the bucket from behind the bar just in time. Roxy hadn't eaten much today so there wasn't really any vomit. Just the water she'd had before and some stomach acid. That was the worst part, retching and retching for ages and only bile making an appearance.

Candy and Roxy stayed like that for 10 minutes, Candy rubbing soothing circles on Roxy's back and offering her a tissue to wipe her eyes.

Unfortunately the guys started coming in from outside where they must have been surveying the damage to Juice's bike with the SAMCRO guys.

Chase was a new patch over from New York, he'd needed to get out of New York much like Juice had and Indian Hills had put a call out for members. So SOANY was happy to ship him off to Indian Hills, turns out he was a bit of a pain in the ass.

"Why the fuck we got pregnant bitches vomiting in the clubhouse?" He demanded of no one as he grabbed a beer from the bar. Candy scowled at him but daren't say anything to him.

"Watch your mouth Chase, she's my Old Lady." Juice barked from the entrance of the dorm hallway.

"Ain't a place for pregnant bitches, all I'm saying." Chase pushed back some of his blond hair, he wasn't unlike Jax in the looks department, but he had a pointier face.

"She's a fucking Old Lady, show her the respect she deserves asswipe." Juice moved forward confidently, despite the pain in his body.

"Get her to your dorm room or something. No one wants to see that shit." He turned back to the bar not realising he'd gathered a bit of an audience. Roxy got up to move, feeling totally uncomfortable that she'd intruded in such a way. Candy helped her to her feet. "Good idea. This ain't no place for a bitch in your condition." Chase nodded to the girls.

Roxy had to fight the urge to flip him off as she slowly made her way past Juice but he wasn't having any of it.

"Fuck you Chase. She wouldn't be here if I hadn't laid down my fucking bike helping you out." Juice all but growled.

"Wouldn't be here if you could handle your bike." Chase bit back. They'd gathered quite the audience. Roxy was almost going to tell him to leave it but when he called into question Juice's riding abilities that was it. Everyone knew he was a good rider, one of the most nimble. If anyone could have stayed upright it would have been Juice. He was just unlucky the shots took out both tyres at the same time.

"Alright let's take this to the ring." Juice demanded coldly.

"No babe, you've got a concussion. You can't fight." Roxy finally found her voice and placed a hand on his scraped up arm.

"Want me to fight him by proxy Juice? I'll happily take on the fuckhead." Happy stepped up and Chase's eyes widened at the look on Happy's face. Juice nodded to Happy knowing this was a fight he probably shouldn't participate in.

"Alright then, apologise to Roxy or me and you go five rounds out there." Happy ordered.

Chase mumbled something under his breath but eventually apologised to Roxy like it caused him great displeasure. Which it probably did, being made to look like a bitch in front of three charters' members wasn't good. But he didn't seem to get that he just couldn't talk to Old Ladies that way.

"Good. Now fuck off and leave the girls alone." Happy dismissed him, Chase would have put up a fight but Bullet gestured for him to head outside.

Harley left Happy's side to help Candy take Roxy off to Juice's dorm while the guys bitched about Chase's behaviour. Once they had her settled in bed with the bucket next to her Roxy insisted they go enjoy the socialising that was bound to happen with so many Sons in one place. She just wanted to sleep anyway and forget Juice being an asshole.

But before Roxy could even close her eyes properly Juice had barged back in the room. Roxy took a steadying breath before looking up at him leaning against the closed door.

"I'm sorry for embarrassing you out there." Roxy said quietly.

Juice pushed off the door and made his way over to the bed. "You didn't embarrass me babe."

"Ok. Well I'm sorry for imposing on you out here. I was just so worried." She mumbled into the pillow as Juice stroked her hair.

"I shouldn't have shouted at you like that. I'm sorry. I was just worried, it's so dangerous right now. We have no idea what these guys want. What if they attack you in the car?"

Roxy nodded slowly. "I didn't think about that. But Chibs said it was ok for us to come."

"Well Chibs shouldn't make decisions on behalf of other people's Old Men. Bet Happy was pissed too."

"I dunno. He and Harley seem pretty cozy out there." She remembered Happy didn't have a shirt on, just his kutte, Harley had her arms wrapped round his waist and his around her shoulder. Jealousy panged in her chest that she and Juice didn't act like that any more. Maybe it was the toll of the pregnancy or maybe he was getting sick of her and the lack of sex, but she missed those little displays of affection.

"I love you. You know that?" Juice caught her by surprise. He could sense the jealousy in her tone when she spoke of Happy and Harley. "I just didn't want you in danger."

Roxy nodded against the pillow and Juice leaned down to kiss her. He tried deepening the kiss but Roxy pushed him back.

"I'm all vomity."

Juice shrugged. "Still love you." He climbed over her as best he could with his injuries and pulled her into his body.

Despite the uncertainty of everything going on around them he felt calm with her in his arms. The love he had for her was so much more than he'd ever dreamed he'd feel.

Both fell asleep as Juice's fingers stroked slow circles on her belly while the party raged on beyond the dorm room door.


	122. Chapter 122

**A/N: so I noticed I only got one review on the last chapter, thanks AngR! I hope it wasn't because no one saw it? Make sure you did read it if you maybe missed it. I know AngR had some issues with it not loading from her link.**

 **Or maybe you're just not enjoying any more haha. Either way please let me know what you think.**

 **Hope you enjoy!**

 _27 weeks..._

"We're still no closer to figuring out their game plan." Chibs announced at church. The guys had been back from Indian Hills for a few days and they were trying to figure out the point of the ambush. They didn't kill anyone, could have easily taken out Juice, unless they already thought he was dead.

"I think they were just trying to show their strength. Send a warning that maybe they felt we were on their turf or some shit." Jax piped up.

"Either way, these guys need to back off. Hard with Indian Hills being such a small charter at the moment." Chibs mused.

"I heard some of the SAMTAC guys saying they'd go down there for a few months. Beef up the ranks." Happy added.

"Right. That makes things a little better then." He turned to Juice. "Keep digging, see if you can find any dirt on their members."

Juice nodded and accepted the duty. He'd been digging since they got back but with no names to go off it was hard. He could hack into prison databases and see what prisoners had affiliations with the Iron Devils, but that was time consuming when there were hundreds of prisons and no clue where to start looking. But to find out dirt on their club or track their communications he needed names.

However he had to take the job seriously. As Intelligence Officer his role carried some weight within the club, and these days he was sitting next to the VP. Not really thinking he'd ever make it this far up the table he wanted to prove his worth. He wasn't a ladder climber or looking for power. No. He just wanted the respect of his brothers.

xxx xxx

"So how much longer do you have _querida_?" Mari asked Roxy as she fixed the three of them coffees.

"Technically 12 or so weeks. But I'm due to have a c section probably around the 36 week mark so it'll be more like 9 weeks." Roxy answered with a smile. She wasn't thinking about the whole c section part. It petrified her. She was unconscious the last time so the thought of being awake and having major surgery was not pleasant.

"Oh? How come?" Mari asked.

Harley shifted uncomfortably and sent Roxy an apologetic look. However Roxy simply shrugged, she knew Mari didn't mean to judge.

"I had to have an emergency c section the last time I was pregnant. I'd been in a car accident and my little boy didn't survive. The previous Caesar combined with my heart condition meant this time a vaginal birth probably wasn't an option." She set the coffees on the table with some of the cake she'd brought by for her visit.

Mari took Roxy's hand in hers. "I'm sorry. That's terrible." She smiled softly. "But this time is good. I can feel it."

Roxy grinned and offered Mari some cake before sipping on her decaf coffee.

"I can't wait to meet your little one. Now we just need to work on my son. It's about time he tried again."

Harley snorted and spilt some of her coffee. "Jesus Mari, give me some warning."

Roxy cackled at the look on her friend's face. Harley had always been undecided on whether she wanted children or not and she figured now she was with Happy they'd definitely be off the table.

"I'm sure he'd come round to the idea." She suggested to her daughter in law.

"I'm not so sure. Maybe we let it lie for a bit." Harley said diplomatically.

"Can't let it lie too much longer or I'll be in the ground." She said matter of factly. Sometimes Roxy could almost forget Mari and Happy were related. It was times like this that reminded her.

xxx xxx

 _28 weeks..._

"So Roxy I'm a bit concerned about the blood pressure. It's a little on the high side." Dr. Baker frowned at the machine as she removed the pressure cuff from Roxy's arm.

"What does that mean?" Juice asked worridley from his place at Roxy's side.

"Well it's not too bad just yet but could be a sign of things to come. If it gets much higher there's a chance it could develop to pre-eclampsia and that can be life threatening. Also if the blood pressure is high for an extended period it can impact the placenta and restrict baby's growth." She took in the worried look on Juice's face and continued. "Look I'm not too worried at the moment Juan. The baby is a healthy size and Roxy doesn't have any protein in her urine. It's probably a combination of her heart condition, stress, and the ongoing sickness. She takes it easy and I don't see this becoming worse." She turned back to Roxy. "But I'm not messing around when I say take it easy, stay home and if you must go out sit as much as possible. Just relax."

Roxy sighed but nodded her head accepting defeat. It's not like she was wanting out to run marathons or anything she just didn't much fancy the next 8 or so weeks cooped up. She wanted to enjoy being pregnant, go shopping, have girl time while she still could. Now it looked like Netflix and her bed from here on out.

"Don't worry. I'll behave." She smiled at the kind doctor before Juice stood and offered his hand to help her up.

They left the hospital and Juice swung by the diner to grab Roxy her favourite sub sandwich and a milkshake before taking her home to sleep. It was only 11am but she seemed to be having a good day so far, no sickness, so he hoped if she rested up she'd still be ok when he got back from his club business.

"I'm just making a quick run in to Stockton. I should be back by dinner, but I'll grab it on the way home." He was literally tucking her in bed like she was an actual baby.

Roxy rolled her eyes and pulled him down for a kiss. "Ok. Be safe. Love you." She called out as he left, responding the same.

Roxy took a big gulp of her milkshake and settled in the bed as she heard the front door slam and lock. Maybe a day with Netflix wouldn't be so bad, they had _White Chicks_ on there and she hadn't seen it in years.

xxx xxx

Chibs had sent Juice and Happy to go pick up some information from Alvarez. He had some information on the Devils Tribe's Sacramento members which would probably help Juice do a bit more sneaky research into the club.

Juice folded the Manila folder and shoved it into his kutte before joining Happy back at the bikes.

It was early evening and the sun was going to be setting soon, Juice was just hoping Roxy was still feeling good when he got back. He wanted to have a bit of quality time with her.

"Need to stop for smokes and fuel on the way back. You good?" Happy asked.

"Yeah could do with some more smokes." He took one of his last three out of his smoke packet and lit up as they watched the Mayans file out of the abandoned lot.

"Everything good with the kid?" Happy questioned as he let out a stream of smoke.

Juice was surprised, Happy wasn't known for really taking an interest in his brothers' personal lives but with Harley and Roxy being so close the pair of them had started developing a bit more of a bond.

"Good for now. Roxy just needs to take it easy. How's your Ma?"

Happy shrugged. "Good as she can be." He didn't offer much more and Juice decided not to push it. They finished their smokes in silence and Hap motioned to the bikes. "Ready?"

Juice nodded and mounted up before following Happy out of the lot. They rode for about 20 minutes and stopped at one of the old gas stations on the outskirts of Charming. Juice opted to stay by the bikes after Happy filled up, tossing him some money to buy him a packet of smokes.

It was dusk by this stage and Juice was getting antsy, wanting to be home with Roxy he just wished Happy would hurry the hell up.

Juice's ears perked up when a lone bike rolled into the gas station lot and pulled up round the side near Juice and Happy's bikes. Juice couldn't really believe it when he saw the Iron Devil's patch on the kutte and stared down the lone rider. _What the fuck was this guy doing riding alone through their turf?_

Happy walked around to the bikes, which were parked round the corner of the gas station. When he saw the kutte he stared at Juice in disbelief. The lone rider had parked further up the wall towards the back of the shop and was walking towards them nonchalantly.

"Fuck you doing out here?" Happy rasped as the lone rider got closer.

The guy shrugged. "Stopping for supplies. Got a problem?"

"Yeah we got a fucking problem. Charming belongs to the Sons. What the fuck are you doin running through here?" Happy glared at the man as he pulled himself to full height.

An SUV pulled up and parked at one of the gas pumps as the three bikers stared each other down. The woman who stepped out to pump her gas could see the bikers from her spot and quickly turned away, ignoring whatever shady business was about to go down.

"Just doin a little recon." The lone rider was starting to get cocky, knowing the two Sons wouldn't do anything when there was a witness. Truth be told he hadn't expected to get caught.

"You must be fuckin outta your mind asshole." Juice stepped forward.

"Juice." Happy warned, not wanting a fight to break out in front of witnesses.

"Nice to meet you Juice. Heard a lot about ya from Lin. Nice piece of ass you got too." The lone rider smirked when he saw Juice's jaw clench.

Juice wasn't quite sure what he was insinuating but he had a sick feeling it was about Roxy. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Nothin much. Just uh... lets just say we'd been treated to some of Lin's private movies. Your girl sure looks like a good lay-" he didn't get the rest of the sentence out before Juice launched himself at the Iron Devils' member and bounced his head off the pavement.

Happy swore and jumped in as well. Like fuck would some asshole come on their turf and talk shit about his brother's Old Lady.

Juice could feel the rage coursing through his veins as he thought of these guys laughing it up round their clubhouse as they watched _his_ wife be violated. He and Happy joined together and gave the lone rider the beating of a lifetime. Juice was almost sure he'd have beat him to death if it wasn't for the scream that pulled them from their rage.

Happy, ever aware of his surroundings, pulled back first and noticed the chick from the SUV was back at her car and screaming at the sight in front of her.

"Fuck!" He pulled Juice back off the Iron Devils member. "Bro we gotta go."

Juice was panting heavily and wasn't really fully aware of what was going on, he just gave a final rib shattering boot to the side of the lifeless lump on the floor before following Happy's lead and blasting out of the lot.

Juice followed Happy taking the long way back round and pulled up outside the clubhouse. They'd doubled back a couple times to make sure no one was following and now .

"That was some sick shit brother." Happy hopped off his bike as Juice threw his helmet to the floor.

"How the fuck did they know about Roxy?" Juice was still seething with rage.

"Dunno. We gotta tell Chibs what happened. Then go home and burn those clothes and clean yourself up. We gotta be proactive about that witness."

"Fuck." Juice remembered the SUV lady.

"Don't stress. Lance will give us the tapes and you can trace her license plate. We'll pay her a visit, make sure she don't talk." Lance ran the gas station which was a frequent Sons spot.

They made their way inside and downloaded Chibs on everything that happened. "Shit boys. You get pinched and you're both in on parole violations."

"We know."

"Was it worth it?" He sighed.

Juice was silent, he was still raging, he wanted to find every fucking Iron Devils' clubhouse and burn them to the ground. Parole violation or not.

Happy looked at Juice before back at Chibs. "Shit he said about Roxy that fucker deserved it. Ain't gunna let em get away talkin shit about a brother's Old Lady, pres."

Chibs considered the response. "Aye. Course." Truth be told he'd have done the exact same thing. "Look go clean yourselves up, destroy the evidence. I'll call Lance and see what's happening."

Both men nodded and left the room. Juice to his dorm to change and Happy to his bike to head back to Harley's. It was literally around the corner and he was confident enough it'd be fine. Juice on the other hand didn't want Roxy stressing about this, so he made sure to clean up at the clubhouse before sending Happy a text demanding he not let on to Harley the reason for the blood spatters on his kutte.

Happy had never intended on telling Harley anyway. Less Roxy had to worry about the better.

xxx xxx

"Jesus Lowman, your knuckles are a fucking mess." Harley said as she met him at the door. "And your kutte." She surveyed the scene in front of her and knew it was club business. She sighed. "Give me your clothes. I'll burn them and clean your kutte. You have a shower and scrub yourself off."

Happy dropped a kiss on her head and made his way to their ensuite, Harley following behind to grab his clothes. When she was satisfied he was happy in the shower she bundled up his clothes and brought them to the laundry. Mari was asleep in the next room over, her pain meds making sure she slept soundly through the night. She was thankful for that, unsure of how much Mari really knew about what Happy did.

Harley laid the clothes on the bench and set about stripping everything out of the pockets. When she was happy there was nothing left in them she opened the door to the yard and went to the metal drum on the other side of the deck. She threw in his jeans, boxers, socks, and tshirt before dousing them in lighter fluid and flicking in a match.

She sighed as she watched the flames engulf the Reaper Crew shirt and once satisfied they'd light up she moved back to the laundry to scrub his kutte and boots.

Harley had been passed on the secret cleaning recipe from Gemma a while ago. Strong enough to kill any blood evidence while not tarnishing the leather she knew it'd be ok. This was the first time she'd ever had to clean his kutte though, she'd burnt plenty of his clothes but he'd always done the kutte himself.

She filled the sink with hot water and emptied the pockets of his kutte, not wanting to ruin a phone or something in the process. Burner and ammo out of one interior pocket she pulled a photo of his Ma and him from the other, smiling at the crinkled photo of a younger, hairier Happy smiling with Mari out the front of her house. The next photo was one of Harley, dolled up in some ridiculous lingerie that he'd insisted on taking a photo of her in. She was posed seductively on the bed and she smirked before tossing it on the bench next to the one of him and his Ma. Kinda creepy.

But then her hands found another two photos and a necklace chain. She frowned as she pulled out the three items and inspected them. One photo was of an even younger Happy and a beautiful girl, she was Hispanic, had beautiful brown hair cascading over her shoulders and was staring up at Happy with utter devotion on her face. Happy had a Prospects kutte on and had an arm around the girl, a smirk playing at his lips. Harley knew it was Ariana and she sighed. She sat it carefully next to her photo. Kind of sad that he cherished this lovely moment of him and Ariana but the photo of her he chose to keep was some slutty bedroom shot. She felt her heart breaking slightly, wondering if that's all she'd ever be to him. The other photo was in fact a sonogram, obviously of the baby he'd lost with Ariana. That was just too heart breaking to think about, the photo showing a well and clearly defined baby, it had obviously been taken late into the pregnancy.

The locket was a gold loveheart, turning it over in her fingers she saw the engraving on either side. _Happy_ was in cursive on the front and _Ariana_ on the back. Harley stifled a sob as she turned the taps off and looked back down at the photos next to the kutte. She wasn't sure what she'd ever be to Happy but she wanted more than this. Deserved more. She deserved to know she wasn't second fiddle to someone else in his heart. She deserved to know she was even in his heart at all.

"What are you doing?" She jumped at the raspy voice coming from the door of the laundry room.

"Uh, just cleaning your kutte. Didn't want to get any of your stuff wet." She prayed he couldn't tell she'd been crying. Happy didn't move or say anything so she continued. "If you want we can put this stuff in my safe?" She motioned to the locket in her hand and the photos on the bench.

"It stays." He said simply.

Harley nodded and turned back to the sink after placing the locket on the photo and ultrasound. She grabbed his kutte and gently started cleaning the little spatters of blood off, she could sense happy watching her and she bit back her tears.

When she was satisfied there was nothing left on the kutte she hung it on a hanger to dry, emptied the sink and tidied everything up. Happy watching her every, jerky move. He knew she was upset but he didn't really know what to do. He couldn't get rid of Ariana or the baby. He'd tried so many times over the years but he could just never let go.

Harley picked up the photo of her and studied it for a brief second. "I don't want this photo out there where anyone can see." She took it with her as she moved past him through the door to the hallway.

"Do you think I'd ever let anyone see it?" He rasped lowly.

She just gave a limp shrug. "Do you love me Happy? Like really?" She said softly.

"You know how I feel about you." He said back, calmly, wishing she'd look him in the eyes.

"That's just it. I don't. You've inked me Happy. I'm going to walk around for the rest of my life showing everyone that I belong to you. That my heart is yours." She lifted her eyes to meet his. "But your heart won't ever be mine. You can't even say those three words." She smile sadly and turned to go to their bedroom, leaving him standing there in the laundry room completely at a loss for words.

Harley shut the door softly and he turned and walked over to the laundry bench and picked up the photo, sonogram, and locket. He gently traced Ariana's face and sighed heavily. She was right. As long as he carried those reminders in his kutte with him she'd never know that she was his number one.

He knew it was time he moved on. He owed it to himself, he'd denied himself happiness for so long. As ironic as that sounded. He'd blamed himself for their deaths, and he knew it was his fault. So for that he'd put himself in a self induced ban from relationships for so long.

But he also owed it to Harley. Somehow she'd wiggled her way into his life and he did love her. She'd been given the task of dealing with his shit while he was inside seeing as Gemma couldn't travel to Bakersfield or meet with lawyers while one her house arrest and Harley had just done it. No questions asked. Even when his Ma was being difficult and he was being an ass. But that was just Harley and what caught him about her. She was loyal as fuck. To the club, to her friends, to her family, and now, to him.

And while he held on to this shit, he wasn't being loyal to her.

Decision made he walked through to their dark room, not missing that Harley had sniffled when he quietly shut the door behind him. She was on her side of the bed, farthest from the door, back toward him and curled up under the comforter, the only light coming from the slightly open ensuite. She didn't say anything to him as he moved over to their walk in closet. Even when she heard the beeping of the safe she didn't say anything, simply turned over and watched him sitting in front of it in the dim glow of the light bulb.

Harley watched as he carefully kissed and placed the locket in the safe before studying the photo and sonogram intently before sighing and placing them gently in after. He closed the safe door and locked it before standing and turning off the little light.

Harley studied him as he moved over to the bed, dressed only in his boxers after his earlier shower, pulled back the comforter and slid in next to her.

He softly cupped her face and wiped a tear track away. "Don't ever doubt that I love you. I don't know how the fuck tou snuck into my heart but you're there now and you ain't leaving."

xxx xxx

By the time Juice rolled into his drive it was 8pm, he'd scrubbed himself raw in the shower to make sure he'd gotten rid of the evidence. Chibs had called Lance before he left the clubhouse and he'd been informed the Iron Devils member was alive but seriously fucked up when the ambulance took him away. That was both a blessing and a curse. No murder rap if he got caught but at the same time an alive complainant could tell who attacked him.

He slowly made his way through the quiet house to their bedroom to find Roxy propped up in bed watching some chick flick on Netflix. She looked so good in her little maternity night dress, he just hoped she felt good because he needed her right now.

"Hey babe. You're home late, everything ok?" She asked, turning down the volume.

"Yeah." He sighed as he sat down on the bed. "Just had some club shit go down tonight. Iron Devils."

"Shit." She sat up more. "Everyone ok?" She checked out his busted knuckles but couldn't see any other wounds.

"Yeah was just me and Hap but we're fine."

"What happened?" She studied his face and could tell he was conflicted.

"Just said some shit about the club. That's all." He lied blatantly. He just hoped nothing came of it and she'd never have to know these guys had seen those tapes as well.

Roxy knew he was lying but didn't want to push it. Instead she pushed forward and locked him in a deep kiss. Juice immediately took the lead and pushed her back on the bed. He'd usually cover her body with his but he couldn't right now so he slid up the side of her and hovered over her so slightly.

His kisses were hot, heavy, and demanding and his hands were everywhere, Roxy's body responding instantly to his touch.

"What's gotten into you?" She breathed on a moan as he cupped her breast vigorously.

"Just you. Just need a reminder." He grunted.

Roxy was confused as she ran her hand down his torso. "Reminder of what baby?" She pushed his tshirt up to slip her hand along his belt line.

"That you're all mine." He nipped her neck with his teeth.

"Oh, in that case..." she slipped her hand past the belt she'd undone and grasped him in her hand. Juice moaned as she wrapped her fingers around him and squeezed softly.

"Take off your dress." He demanded, and Roxy obliged immediatley as he stood up to undress.

As soon as his boxers and jeans hit the floor Roxy tugged his hand to pull him back into the bed. Juice ran his hands over her body, the skin soft and smooth beneath his hands aside from the few scars that littered her skin. These only served to spur him on, knowing that those Iron Devils fuckers had seen her body too.

His fingers worked her and soon she was panting with need and trying to pull him over her. "Baby please..."

"Not yet." He slowly sucked a trail down to her breasts as she bucked her hips against his hand.

"Please, in yours, I need you now." She breathed.

"You want to cum?" He smirked as she moaned and bit on her lower lip. It had been a while since they'd had sex quite like this.

"Yes! Please! But I want you-" she tugged his hand away.

"Why? Do I make you feel good?" He loved this power trip, Roxy begging for him in the best way, he slid his hand back down, dipping a finger where she wanted him most.

"Yes! No one has ever made me feel as good as you."

That was all he needed, he rolled her to her side slightly and lifted her leg for access, Roxy using her hand to guide him in.

They both moaned at the contact and Roxy pushed her hips back against his. The feeling of his front against her back, his arms wrapped possessivly round her body and his breath tickling her ear was just too much as he thrust into her.

"Yes! I love you so much J... harder..." Roxy's breathy pants and moans served to do nothing but spur him on more.

Juice picked up his speed with her pleading moans and could feel himself reaching the edge. "C'mon babe, cum for me... so fucking hot... all mine..." he growled more at the edge of her ear but she didn't catch it all before her orgasm took over.

"Fuck yes!" She cried out as she clawed against the arm that was wrapped around her breasts.

Juice couldn't hold back and after another minute of choppy thrusts, his thighs burning from their position he came hard and bit down on her shoulder causing Roxy to arch her back and push back against him.

They stayed tangled together as they cooled down and just traced lazy patterns on her belly. It was starting to round out some more after popping a few weeks ago and he liked the knowledge of a little bit of him growing in there. He finally felt like, for once, he was doing shit right in his life. For once he had his shit straight, his girl was happy, he was happy, they had a good life and family.

He felt the baby moving as he rested his palm on the side of her stomach and chuckled.

"Think we woke him up?" He laughed.

"Well I did read in the baby book that, uhm, 'adult activities' should lull the baby to sleep, but obviously not. Our little _girl_ clearly did not enjoy that rocking the cradle."

"Kinda creepy isn't it?" He pulled her over to lie on her back so he could see her face.

"Not really. She don't know what's going on." She laughed and then grimaced when the baby twisted. "Fucking hell kid, keep still."

Juice watched as a little roll washed over her belly, the baby turning over position. She'd mentioned to him before that things must be getting cramped for baby as she no longer felt free kicks as such, more strong pushing and movements on behalf of their little baby.

"Jesus that's fucking weird. Like _Alien_ or _Dawn of the Dead_ or some shit." He gazed at her stomach as it appeared to settle down.

"Don't fucking compare our baby to that horrific movie." Roxy gasped. He'd made her watch _Dawn of the Dead_ a while ago and it petrified her to the point of not being able to be home alone for weeks. Even still she got a bit antsy when he was on a run.

"Sorry I forgot I wasn't supposed to mention that film." He gave her a quick kiss before standing up. "I'll go order us some food. You choose a film and we'll cuddle up some more."

Roxy smiled softly and picked up the remotes to find something worth watching. Juice turned and made his way to the kitchen to find the takeaway menus. It was turning out to be a calm evening. He just hoped that after the bullshit of the day nothing would come back and bite him on the ass. He didn't deserve it. Roxy had been through enough and he wasn't going to let anything fuck with her now they were finally happy.


	123. Chapter 123

**A/N: thanks as usual to AngR and lennon for their faithful reviews.**

 **I've noticed a few new followers and favouriters! Hello! Please drop me a line to let me know how you are enjoying.**

 **And hello again to Raging Raven and Docsangel. Hope you're both still enjoying the story as we go.**

 **Hopefully I'll have the next chapter soon for you all :) enjoy!**

 **xxx xxx**

 _29 weeks..._

Roxy studied Juice as he got ready for the day at the garage. His road rash from his tumble the other week was mostly healed and just scabby, and he seemed in much happier spirits than he had been before. Roxy put it down to the anxiety meds doing their job but Juice knew it was because he was finally handling his shit, providing for and protecting his family.

"What you doing today babe?" He asked as he shrugged his kutte on. "Feeling ok?"

Roxy sat up more in the bed. "Yeah I'm doing ok. Might head into Oakland later with Harley. Get some more baby stuff."

Juice rolled his eyes. "What more baby stuff is there? You and Tara bought out half of Stockton the other week."

Roxy smirked. "Just bits. I'm just enjoying shopping for stuff."

"Enjoying spending my money more like." He frowned playfully. "Gunna send me broke."

"What's yours is mine baby." She purred.

Juice smirked once again and moved towards the bed. "Oh yeah?"

"All mine." She purred as she ran her hand up his thigh to cup him through his jeans.

Juice moaned and pushed against her hand slightly. "Fuck babe. I'm gunna be late."

"Well in that case." She dropped her hand and winked at him. "Need you working hard baby. Make me some more money to spend."

Juice laughed and dropped a kiss on her lips. "I'll see you tonight. Come by the clubhouse after and check in regularly." The threat from the Iron Devils wasn't enough to warrant escorts in Chibs' mind so Juice figured he'd leave them to it. Harley and Roxy both carried anyway and the Niners ran Oakland so he figured the Devils wouldn't go anywhere near stirring up trouble there.

"Of course. Love you!" She called after him as he sauntered off out the bedroom.

Roxy cuddled down into the comforter and sent Harley a message, not sure when she'd have to start getting ready.

 _I'll pick you up in 20 x -_ H

"Fuck." She mumbled and started dragging her sorry ass out of bed to start the day.

xxx xxx

"Well this is super cute!!!" Harley exclaimed excitedly at a sparkly blue dress.

"Harley we don't know if it's a boy or a girl." Roxy smiled at the fluffy skirt.

"Yeah, well, I'm buying it anyway, you know, just in case." She grabbed a size and laid it over her arm with another couple of outfits she'd picked up.

"Oh well. If we have a boy then you can just keep it for yours and Happy's spawn." Roxy smirked.

"Lets calm down. He's barely told me he loves me let's not go crazy."

"So you do want kids?"

Harley stopped flicking through the rack and turned to study Roxy thoughtfully. "I'm thinking on it." She sighed heavily. "It would be nice to have a family but... I just don't know if he's ready."

"He's pushing 40 Harley, not much time left to get ready."

Harley had already filled her in on what happened the night she'd cleaned his kutte, and things had been going well since then but she was still just wanting to take it easy.

"In his mind Roxy he's only just let go of Ariana and their baby. I don't want to rush him." Harley moved further down the aisle as something else caught her eye.

"Fair enough."

They wandered up and down the clothes before moving on to toys and books. Roxy was busy looking through some baby books when she saw a flicker of familiar hair in the aisle next to her. She was about to turn and call for Harley when she heard her mother's voice.

"Harley? Baby is that you?" Gemma sounded surprised as her voice carried over.

Roxy stumbled forwards and turned into the next aisle to her Ma and Harley in an awkward embrace. Gemma pulled back from the hug and spotted Roxy instantly.

"Oh my baby..." Gemma took in Roxy's appearance and stepped forward, arms open, but Roxy stepped backwards, not ready for this confrontation.

"What are you doing here Ma? Thought you were supposed to be in Norco?" She studied her mother's ageing appearance. Gemma had always carried herself well, like the badass biker queen she was, but now she seemed to have aged more in the last 9 months. Her hair wasn't as vibrant as it once was and she was dressed far more demurely than Roxy ever remembered. Her jeans weren't as tight and her floaty peasant top covered her chest completely.

"Are you pregnant?" Gemma blurred out excitedly, choosing to ignore Roxy's avoidance. "Oh baby I'm so happy for you."

Roxy could feel the tears building, her mother was genuinely happy for her but Roxy had spent the last 9 months avoiding thinking about her. The wedding shenanigans had just pushed her further against Gemma.

"Yes. I'm 29 weeks." She answered curtly.

"I'm so happy for you. Really. You deserve it." Roxy scoffed at her mother's well wishes. "Look baby, I'm sorry about how everything went down-"

"How everything went down?!" Roxy blurted out, Harley trying to comfort her. "That's a joke. I was kidnapped, held captive, and raped repeatedly, all while they filmed it to send to the club for my Old Man to watch! All because of your lies! Your lies to save your own ass. I barely made it out of there alive, I still have nightmares, flashbacks, my crow is forever scarred because of them. Hell my relationship just barely made it through it all and you're sorry about how it went down? You're a joke."

"Roxy, come on you need to sit down." Harley tugged on her arm as she noticed Roxy's breathing quicken. "It's not good for the baby."

Nero appeared round the corner with some books for his son who they'd brought to Oakland for a hospital visit.

"Roxy?" He breathed, but instantly he could see the tension, Roxy was close to tears and breathing heavily, hands on her baby bump surprising Nero, Gemma was openly crying and looked to be in immense pain. "Mami? We better go." Nero attempted to guide her away but Roxy turned on her heel and stormed off first, ditching her potential purchases on a near by shelf.

Harley turned to follow suit but Gemma grasped her arm. "Wait, please? Take my number, just message me a photo of the baby. I want to know they're ok." She grabbed a pen and pad from her purse and scrawled her number quickly.

"Gemma, I can't promise-"

"Please. Just do this for me?" Gemma begged.

Harley sighed at the pleading look in Gemma's eyes, she had been a second mother to her for most of her life, so she nodded and accepted the piece of paper. "Only if I clear it with Chibs. I'm not getting my ass excommunicated for you Gem." Harley tried to sound strong but the way she squeezed Gemma's hand conveyed some sympathy before she took off after Roxy.

She found her friend leaning against the wall of the mall just outside the front door. "Roxy, you ok?" Roxy turned around, her face was beet red and sweaty and she looked like she'd been crying the whole time. "Oh come on sweetie. Lemme take you to the hospital."

"No! I don't wanna go. They'll just make me stay in and I just want to be home with Juan tonight."

"Roxy I don't think-"

Roxy gripped her friend's arm. "Please? I've been doing good recently and I don't wanna be kept in because of her."

Harley sighed and nodded, accepting defeat. "Fine. But I'm calling Tara to check you over. Let's get you to the clubhouse."

Roxy nodded and held on to Harley's arm for support. The car wasn't too far from the entrance so Harley helped her along and into the car. Harley passed her a water bottle before starting her Mercedes and dialling Tara on the in car phone system.

"Hey Harley what's up?" Tara's voice came over the speaker.

"I'm bringing Roxy by the clubhouse. We were shopping in Oakland and we bumped into Gemma-"

"-what the fuck was she doing in Oakland?!" Tara interrupted.

"Fucked if I know. We didn't really exchange pleasantries. Anyways Roxy's a bit upset, won't go to the hospital. Can you check her out?"

"Of course. But if I don't like what I find Roxy you will have to go in. Ok?" Tara knew she was on speaker.

"Fine." Roxy sighed haughtily.

"Ok Tara. We'll see you in just over an hour. Can you let Juice know we're incoming?" Harley took over again as she pulled out the lot.

"Sure. See you soon." They hung up and Harley turned on some soft music. She knew Roxy wouldn't want to talk right now and by the way she was huddling in on herself she knew her head must be going back to when it all happened.

"Want me to call Juice for you baby?" Harley asked softly. When she touched Roxy's hand she jumped before coming back to reality and shaking her head softly.

"No. I just wanna sleep."

"Ok then. You sleep." Harley sighed inwardly. This wasn't going to be good.

xxx xxx

The trip back to the lot took an hour and twenty minutes thanks to the traffic but they made it back in one piece. Juice was pacing in front of the clubhouse after texting Harley to find out where they were. Roxy had slept most of the way back and she figured she'd let Juice have the honour of waking her up.

"She's passed out. You might wanna just carry her in." Harley said as Juice approached.

"Passed out, passed out or asleep, passed out?" He asked as he opened the passenger door.

"I think just asleep." Harley answered.

Roxy stirred and mumbled something when Juice unclipped her seatbelt to help her out the car and by the time they reached the door to the clubhouse she was fully awake.

When they entered the majority of SAMCRO were hanging out at the bar. Venus was sitting with Tig, having not been around for a while Roxy was glad to see her. Sometimes she apparently had 'business travels' and Roxy just left it at that. She loved Venus for Tig but she didn't need to know th in and outs of Ms. Van Damme's intimate business. TO, Rat, Quinn, Montez, and Chibs were playing/watching pool with some hang-arounds who were keen to Prospect, while Happy had moved over to see how Harley was.

Tara and Jax made their way over to usher Juice and Roxy through to his dorm where Tara had set everything up.

"How are you feeling Roxy?" Tara asked softly.

"What do you think? Fucking angry." Roxy huffed, not meaning to take out her bad mood on Tara, she just didn't realise how worked up seeing her Ma would actually make her. However it was just the trigger for all the other stuff to come rushing back and, like she said to Gemma, the nightmares were still haunting her.

But Tara didn't take offence, instead she patted her arm in comfort. "I can imagine. But I'm meaning physically."

Roxy sighed. "Just tired, bit of a headache and starting to feel sick."

Tara frowned, knowing headache and nausea were symptoms of very high blood pressure. She set about taking out her stethoscope and blood pressure cuff and wound it round Roxy's arm. Juice sat on the chair in his room watching the two on the bed anxiously. Tara hummed in displeasure as she read the blood pressure and took Roxy's pulse.

"158/101, Roxy that's really too high-"

"-please Tara I just want to sleep I don't want to go down there." Roxy begged. "I was fine yesterday this is just because of Ma."

Tara shot a glance to Juice who was bouncing his knee nervously. "Fine. Go and give me a urine sample, I'll test it. But if there's protein in there you _have_ to go to the hospital."

"Sure." Roxy grabbed the cup and excused herself to the ensuite while Juice turned to Tara.

"Should she go in?" He asked, totally willing to pick her up and carry her there kicking and screaming.

"If there's protein there then yes, that BP reading is pretty much pre eclampsia territory. No protein? Then she can sleep for a bit and I'll keep checking on her, see if it comes down. I'll check baby's heart beat in a second, see how we go."

Roxy flushed and exited the bathroom and Tara stood to go check the sample. Juice just stared at Roxy who was looking anywhere but at him. She knew he wanted her to go to the hospital and she wasn't keen. She'd do it if he insisted, however.

"Ok it's fine." Tara stated as she came out the bathroom. "I'm gunna check you a few times over the next hour or so. You'll just need to stay in here and rest. But now-" she pulled out her hand held Doppler- "we check baby's heartbeat."

Roxy smiled softly and lay back on the bed, lifting up her top to expose her stomach. "It's so handy having a neonatal surgeon as a sister in law." She chirped, her mood lifting with the baby to focus on.

Tara laughed. "I'm sure it is." She squirted a bit of gel on the stick and poked it around to find the heartbeat. "Don't get to do this too often in my daily job though." She smiled as the fuzzy sound of a heartbeat echoed through the room.

Juice breathed a sigh of relief, he'd been worried as soon as he heard what happened. Roxy caught his eye and gave a smile as Tara explained the heartbeat sounded fine.

"Drink this bottle of water and go for a nap. I'll come back through in half an hour and check on you. Jax also wants to talk to you about Gemma but I'll hold him off for a bit."

"Thanks Tara." Juice smiled as she let herself out after packing her stuff up.

Juice sat down on the bed next to Roxy and stroked her hair gently. "Seemed like a shit day then." He stated simply.

Roxy sighed and rolled to her side facing Juice so she was more comfortable. "Yeah. I dunno why but I just had this overwhelming rage when I saw her. Like she was so happy to see me as if she had no idea what I went through."

"She probably didn't. Jax threw her out at some point and I can't remember if she'd heard the details or not."

"Still... she's my Ma, she's supposed to look out for me. But she knew where you were that whole time. She could have smoothed shit over for us or helped me leave with you, but she chose to save her own ass and got me taken in the process... I just don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive her."

"No one wants you to Rox. She's dead to the club and she's dead to our family."

Roxy looked up at the ceiling as she slowly mulled it over. "Kinda sad the only blood family the kid'll have is me, you, and Jax. Even Jax is only half. I dunno. I guess as much as I fucking hate her for what happened I just feel guilty."

"Don't. I know it sucks babe but that's all we got." Juice shrugged. He'd often thought along the same lines, but then he figured the family God gave him turned out shit so he chose his own.

"Don't you ever wanna find your Ma or sister?" Roxy studied his face, she knew this was a tense subject, one she'd avoided in the past.

"Sometimes. I know my sister is living in Grand Rapids, she moved to Michigan with her husband. Seems like she got married when they turned 18 and she's doing well. I don't wanna fuck that up with the club shit. And I never wanted to find Ma. If it turns out her addiction killed her it'll suck, but if it turns out she's fine and healthy somewhere after leaving me to rot then I think it'll kill me." He looked down at his hands. "The only person that's ever truly wanted me is in this room. You're my family Rox. I don't want anything else."

Roxy stretched up to place a loving kiss on his lips. "I'll always want you. Our baby will always want you. And you're right. As long as I've got you I don't need anyone else." She stroked his cheek lovingly. "You're going to be such a good dad, Juan."

"I hope so. Don't have the best role models. My mom's dad, Carlos, was around for a bit when I was younger but he died when I was 7. The last bit of normality in my life, till I met you."

Roxy snorted. "If this is normal... well let's just say we're both fucked."

Juice chuckled with her before pushing her back on the bed. "Come on. Time for rest. We can think about all this deep meaningful shit later."

Despite the rough morning and all the shit it dragged up for Roxy she was perfectly content to fall asleep in Juice's arms, reassuring her she was safe and all the Triad and Gemma bullshit was far, far behind her.

xxx xxx

"She wants to be in touch Jax. Asked me to message her a photo of the baby when it's born." Harley explained as she passed over the note containing Gemma's number.

Happy took it from her hand first, examining it before passing it on to Juice who had just joined them.

Jax shook his head vehemently. "She made her bed. Even Unser cut ties with her after that shit." Unser had moved to Tijuana after everything went down with the Triads. SAMCRO had given him some money and he moved there to live out his days. Roxy kept in touch but she knew he was sicker than ever. But he had better access to weed and other illegal drugs down there seeing as there was nothing else the doctors could do for him.

"Aye brother. But maybe we leave it up to Roxy. Gemma will never be welcome here again but I have a feeling your sister needs some healing." Chibs the voice of reason spoke up.

"She's a poisonous bitch." Jax retorted.

"Maybe, but if we want Roxy to get over it once and for all then maybe she needs that contact. If she gets this worked up every time she thinks about Gemma then it's not healthy."

"Fine. Whatever Roxy needs." Jax snarked and stubbed his cigarette aggressively.

Juice bristled at the comment and turned to his wife's brother. "Yeah bro, whatever Roxy needs. Don't you fucking forget what she's been through thanks to this club." Juice fronted Jax who sighed and put his hands up in defeat.

"Yeah. You're right." He chugged the last of his beer and left the bar to say goodbye to Tara.

Juice eyed Jax as he left and Chibs clapped him on the shoulder before letting him go. He was going to go back to check on Roxy, make sure she rested.

Happy turned to Harley who'd watched the exchange with a stony expression, the others departing around them. "You gunna be alright talking to Roxy about this Gemma shit?" He stroked her hips as he pulled her in against his body.

"Yeah. Just don't know how she's gunna take it... I kinda feel sorry for Gemma. You shoulda seen her today."

Happy shrugged against her. "Pity ain't a worthwhile emotion."

Harley pulled back slightly so she could look at him. "Maybe she can make amends though."

"Her manipulation almost led to the destruction of her family, both blood and club. Ain't no amends from that." Happy was always blunt and to the point, something Harley appreciated in their relationship. "Juice fucked up in his efforts to _save_ the club, but he owned it before it got too far. Plus mosta that shit was on Jax. But what Gemma did was pure self centred manipulation and it serves her right."

"Damn Hap, ain't no second chances from you is there?" She asked warily. She'd never purposely hurt him but she wondered if he applied the same logic in his personal relationships.

"Hey I had a lotta respect for Gemma, she was a tough, take no prisoners bitch, but she let her agenda get in the way of family and loyalty and that's that." He studied her for a minute, her eyes giving everything away to him, he was a good read of people. Had to be in his line of work. "Why, you worried?"

Harley shrugged and looked down at the reaper design on his tshirt. "Just don't wanna fuck up with you that's all."

Happy chipped her chin up so she would look in his eyes. "Ain't nothin you could possibly do to make me wanna cut you out." He rasped before kissing her deeply.

xxx xxx

 _30 weeks..._

Later that week the guys had to have an emergency church, just as everyone was packing up to go home for the day. The Iron Devils had once again tried to hit an Indian Hills run and pulled the same shit as before and knocked off another Mayan shipment in Riverside. It had all the Sons charters on high alert and Chibs had to figure out with Indian Hills how'd they'd go about their run for the next month. He didn't want to send half his guys on a run across state lines with no back up, also leaving the rest of the club in Charming with no backup.

"Can't Tacoma send more to help out for a bit? They're the strongest on the west coast." TO put forth.

"Gunna have to see if that's possible. We need everyone here. They could be waiting up there in Sacramento for our numbers to go down." Quinn supported TO.

"Aye. Look Happy, can you contact SAMTAC see if they're up to the challenge?" Happy nodded in response to Chibs' request. "In the meantime let's just go about our business as usual. However, keep your wits about ya, if you're at Diosa make sure you're on the ball, same with RedWoody. Our top priority right now is lookin after our girls, they've shown they're happy to hit Indian Hills' girls so let's not be complacent with ours."

The men around the table nodded in agreement before nutting out the details for beefing up Diosa and RedWoody security.

xxx xxx

Roxy had been feeling ok since her run in with Gemma a few days before and had come in to the garage to tidy some things up for Chucky who was helping her hold down the fort. It'd been a long day of paperwork, invoices, accounts, and dealing with customers and Juice had been on at her to rest up all day. But while they had their urgent meeting she had her feet up in the clubhouse with a hot chocolate, thanks to Chucky.

"They been in there long?" Harley asked by way of greeting as she wandered into the bar area.

"Half hour or so. What's up?" She patted the soft leather of the sofa as she gestured for Harley to sit next to her.

Harley sighed lengthily as she plopped down and slung her back down on the floor. She kicked off her stilettos and propped her feet on the table alongside Roxy's.

"Not much, just been a long ass day. Some of my _talent_ are giving me a hard time and with Lyla spending more and more time at Diosa I'm swamped."

"Sack their asses. RedWoody is making a good name for itself, don't need them weighing you down." Roxy offered.

"Could do. I just don't wanna rock the boat without Chibs' and the club's input. Was gunna have a chat when they're done. Plus Happy owes me a date night." She smirked.

Roxy snorted and almost spat her hot chocolate out. "I hardly see Happy as a dinner and movie kinda guy."

Harley laughed. "Well that's true. _Date night_ is just code for him buying me takeout and romantically fucking me in a motel, or a park... we don't get much chance to be too frisky at home with Mari at the moment."

"Oh my God Harley." She laughed. "That is just insane."

"Hey he likes to live on the wild side and his Ma is kinda cramping his style at the moment. Her meds send her to a pretty deep sleep but naturally Happy doesn't want to go too crazy with his Ma in the house."

"Fair enough."

Harley fluffed her hair and adjusted her top as she looked longingly at the chapel doors. "So how's things with you and Juice? Still a bit slow in the bedroom?"

Roxy had confided in her about her decreased sex drive and worry about Juice, which Harley immediately set her straight on. She'd known Juice longer than Roxy and had definitely noticed the change in him over the last couple years, hell even the last few months and she knew he wouldn't do anything to fuck that up now.

"Mmmm it's ok. I have my good days but they're more outnumbered by bad ones. But he seems content. I trust him, really. Plus that Candy chick from Indian Hills agreed to keep an eye on the girls there for me, keep Juice off their radar."

"Smart bitch." She nodded but before she could add anything else the chapel doors burst open and their guys filed out. These days Roxy and Harley were _the_ ladies of SAMCRO. Sure Tara was still around but she didn't like hanging at the clubhouse so the queenly roles were filled by the only other two Old Ladies. So it was up to them to greet them and look after them, after their own Old Men of course.

Roxy stood and followed Harley over to the boys as they crowded round the bar, immediately going to Juice's side and tip toeing to give him a kiss. Juice grabbed his beer off the crow eater behind the bar and wrapped his arm around Roxy's shoulders. Happy and Harley were full on making out next to them, Happy pinning Harley against the bar with his body, Harley's hands fisted tightly in his shirt.

"Wanna get a room you two?" TO barked out jokingly as Tig made mock vomiting noises. Happy's response was simply to flip them the bird, without removing his tongue from Harley's throat first.

Juice bent down to Roxy's ear and whispered in it. "Maybe we should follow their lead and get one too?"

Roxy shivered as his hot breath tickled her ear and neck and his hand lowered from her waist to grope her ass.

"Maybe we-" Roxy was interrupted by the front and back doors of the clubhouse banging open simultaneously and everyone sprung to action at the sound.

Police in armed riot gear blasted through the doors and reminded Roxy immediately of when Bobby was arrested in the same spot all those years ago.

The officers made short work of separating all the members and throwing them to the floor in submission while others circled Roxy, Harley, Chucky, and the couple of crow eaters aside.

Some sort of detective stormed through the front doors as one of his officers called the room as clear, LT Sherrif Jarry following him.

"Detective Walker. Stockton PD." The gruff, middle aged man, said by way of introduction. "That's them." He pointed to the two sheriffs holding down Juice and Happy.

"Macario Lowman and Juan Carlos Ortiz, you are under arrest for Great Bodily Injury. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law, you have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford an attorney one-" the officers holding Juice and Happy to the floor cuffed them before bringing them up as they read them their rights. Before long long they tried moving them to the door but Roxy broke around the officer shepherding them into a corner, Harley hot on her heels.

"Juan! What's going on? Why are they taking you?!" She cried out, sobbing openly as they dragged her husband away. If she wasn't heavily pregnant, and majorly hormonal, she wouldn't have made such a scene but right now rational thinking was out the window.

Juice was commanding her to stay put, not wanting her to get any more worked up, but she'd managed to get close enough to tug on his arm.

"Ma'am step back." The sheriff holding Juice barked out just as another grabbed Roxy's arms roughly, causing her to stumble back slightly.

"Hey! She's pregnant asshole!" Juice wrestled in his restraints in an attempt to get to Roxy.

"Do not make this worse Ortiz." The detective barked as Jarry stepped in to hold off the sheriff.

"Tig! Watch her!" Juice ordered as he was pushed through the doors into the lot.

Happy caught Harley's eye as she tried to comfort Roxy now Tig had his arm around her. He gave a slight nod to which she returned a watery smile and blew a kiss.

"Watch him Happy!" Roxy cried out as he was pulled from view to follow Juice.

The police shoved Juice and Happy unceremoniously into the back of the awaiting van and cuffed them to their seats, Juice remembering the same jittery feeling from the last time this happened. But this time they didn't have a game plan.

And this time it was just the two of them. No club. No protection.


	124. Chapter 124

**A/N: thanks AngR and Lennon for your reviews as always! Hope you're still enjoying the ride! Little bit more of the saga for you all.**

 **Please leave a review and let me know what you think. I have a solid 200 reads per chapter and only know what two of my readers think so please drop a line. It helps with the motivation when I know there's people waiting to see what happens!**

 **Love you all!**

 **xxx xxx**

 _30 weeks..._

Juice stripped out of his kutte and clothes next to Happy in the dank prison processing centre. Luckily they were the only two coming in right now as he didn't much fancy being on display to anyone else.

Both men shifted uncomfortably as they waited for the officers to search them. Juice hated this part. It was so personal and such an invasion of privacy and at the end of the day there was no fucking point in smuggling anything into the prison as whatever you wanted was available inside anyway. Phones, drugs, weapons, everything.

The officers started them with their backs against the cold gray wall, checking their mouths for contraband before turning them round, hands above their heads against the wall for their cavity searches. The lovely experience finishing with a squat and cough before they were allowed to stand back against the wall while the officers organised their prison clothes for them. One change of clothes for rotation and just one pair of shoes.

Once dressed the two MC members shared a look before following the officers through processing where they signed dockets for their clothes and personal effects. Juice was trying not to bounce on his heels as they signed the medical forms. No more anxiety meds for him now. He couldn't risk being seen standing at the dispensary every morning waiting for his dose. It was too risky and showed great personal weakness. But he wondered what the fuck the withdrawal would be like. Not that the meds were addictive but withdrawal from his brain's reliance on them to function properly.

They were then led through a series of gates to the canteen where they were served a late dinner, seeing as they'd missed out and it was now evening count and lockdown. They didn't say anything to each other while the guards hovered close but soon enough they backed off, the empty canteen not necessitating close watch.

"Fuck." Was the first word either had spoken since leaving the clubhouse. "What the fuck we gonna do Hap? Communal dorms, we ain't got protection."

Happy sighed as he picked at his stale bread roll, not hungry at all. He was no newbie to lock up, but with just the two of them in here it was gunna be daunting. "Gunna have to be on our guard tonight. Fuck knows who they'll bunk us with but surely they'll have the sense to keep us away from the whites." He threw the stale roll back on his tray and downed his orange juice to get rid of the taste. "We sleep in shifts tonight until we get word of protection."

Juice nodded. "You take first sleep." He sighed as he poked at his watery beans. "Sorry for getting you into this mess Hap."

Happy didn't bat an eyelid. He'd never regret anything he did for his club or an brother. "Don't even worry about it brother. Shit he said about Roxy he fuckin deserved it and more. I won't regret helping a brother out like that so don't stress on it." Juice nodded, calmer now he'd heard what the killer had to say. "Look we'll be seeing Rosen in a few, he'll maybe have news of protection. We'll figure it out."

It had been almost 3 hours since it had all gone down at the clubhouse but neither could relax or face their dinner, with their appetites gone. They shoved their trays back and waited for the guards to come over and escort them to the visitation room to meet with their lawyer before finally being placed in a dorm.

"Alright, Lowman, Ortiz. Lawyer time." The older of the two prison guard escorts said as they were shackled and escorted through more gates to one of the private visitation rooms.

Juice sighed as he saw Rosen sitting at the table, papers out in front of him as he waited for his two clients. The guards sat them down and took off the cuffs before turning to address Rosen.

"Sounds off for attorney/client privilege, but visual stays on." He stated.

Rosen nodded and waited for the officer to leave before addressing his two clients. "Chibs filled me in on the backstory. I'm working on a provocation defence but with no record of Roxy's assault it doesn't look promising."

"Shit!" Juice kicked the leg of the table.

"It's ok bro." Happy the calm voice of reason as always.

"Your brothers are looking out for you but in the meantime we need to focus on the reality of the situation. You were hauled in tonight on the parole violation so they can keep you here for another 5 months to make up the 3 years for the weapons charges. But that's the other issue, Juan you have one strike with the federal weapons charges so you're now on two if you're found guilty so they'll hit you with the maximum 6 years for this. Lowman, you've already got two strikes for the weapons charge and a previous GBI. If you're found guilty you'll be double the sentence, mandatory. So twelve years."

Happy nodded, he knew that was coming and he'd made his peace with that the last trip to Stockton. He knew on his release he'd be on a thin rope. It hadn't bothered him as much at the time, but now he had Harley to consider. He'd made peace with the fact he'd probably be locked up again before his Ma died, and with that sentence being sooner rather than later, he knew he'd not be around for her funeral. But now he was leaving behind Harley and that left a bitter taste in his mouth. He'd never blame Juice for that though, he knew what the consequences could be if he was caught and he made that choice before jumping in to help Juice that night.

"Fuck, man I'm so sorry." Juice looked to Happy.

"Like I said before; I knew what I was doing. I ain't gunna hold it against you. It was my choice." Rosen nodded in thought before Happy turned to look at him. "There ain't no evidence. We know that." Referring to their care in burning their clothes and the fact that Lance, the gas station owner, had gotten rid of the tapes before the cops got there.

"I know. That does play into our favour. However there's one, pretty favourable, witness who gave a pretty damn good description. And that will be trickier to get out of. My advice would be to enter a plea at this stage. The injured party isn't pressing charges so that's a good thing. But maybe we could get it bumped down to two years incarceration. That being four for you Happy." Rosen offered.

Juice and Happy shook their heads. This was gunna be tough. Before they could talk again there was a warning over the intercom that time was running out for their visit.

Rosen sighed and organised the papers for them to sign as a result of their processing and parole violations. "We can talk more about it later when I find out what the prosecution has for sure. Right now however I've been told to tell you to stick with brown in here. Chibs has an agreement with Alvarez. You'll be looked after."

"Thank fuck for that." Juice sighed.

Happy and Juice sighed Rosen's forms before being led out of the visitation room and over to the phones.

"Alright, one call each. You got five minutes then you're on lockdown."

xxx xxx

Harley had taken Roxy back to her place after everything happened. She was hysterical, panicked that Juice wasn't going to be around for the baby's birth. Tig and Chibs had managed to calm her down with news from the lawyer about the lack of evidence, however she was still devastated.

Mari had made them all tea and some supper, Tig and Chibs hanging around in between making calls. Harley set up the the second spare room with the futon as a bed. She decided to sleep in there tonight to ensure Roxy had a proper bed. She changed the sheets on her and Hap's bed and pulled out a tshirt and pair of sweatpants of Happy's for Roxy to sleep in that night before joining everyone in the living room again.

Before she could talk to Roxy their cell phones began ringing, both girls sharing a look before answering.

" _An inmate from the San Joaquin County Jail is calling you. All calls will be recorded. To accept these charges please press one."_ Roxy hastily pressed the button on her phone and sat up straight on the sofa.

" _Roxy?"_

"Juan?"

 _"Yeah baby, it's me."_ He sighed. _"I'm so fucking sorry."_

Roxy sobbed slightly and took a calming breath. "Are you ok? What happened?"

 _"Ask Chibs. I'm ok right now. I just wish I was with you."_

"Me too Juan. I can't do this without you, I just can't, not after last time I-" Tig squeezed her hand from his spot next to her on the sofa as Juice interrupted her.

 _"Baby you're not alone. I may not be there when it all goes down but Tig and Harley will be there with you every step of the way. I promise you that. You just gotta be strong for me baby."_

Roxy could hear the thickness in his voice and knew he was close to tears himself so she tried to shake herself out of it. Regardless of how she was feeling she knew she had to be strong for him.

"I know. Just please be careful in there. I don't know what I'd do without you."

 _"We're ok. We got protection. Just please tell me I'll see you at visitation tomorrow?"_ The one good thing about being remanded at county to await trial was the easier visitation rules. He didn't think either of them would last a two week period without seeing each other like they had at Stockton.

"I wouldn't miss it." She was petrified of the trip to county after what happened on her last visitation with Gabriel but she needed to see him. "I love you so much. So, so much."

 _"Me too baby. Just get some sleep tonight, I'll see you in the morning and we'll hopefully know more by then. I love you."_

"Love you too."

xxx xxx

Harley had taken her call in her room. "Happy?"

 _"Hey girl. You good?"_ His deep rasp crackled over the crappy phone line but it warmed her nonetheless.

"Yeah I'm ok. Just watching over Rox. She's staying with me tonight."

Happy nodded, proud of his girl for looking after Roxy. _"How is she?"_

"Not gunna lie, she's not taking it too well. What are you guys in there for anyway?"

 _"Chibs will fill ya in. How's Ma?"_

"She's ok. Won't get out of the kitchen no matter how many times I tell her to sit." She chuckled softly.

 _"That's my Ma. Can't help herself when there's shit going down. Tell her I love her."_

Harley smiled. Of course she'd tell her that. She waited for him to say something similar to her but it didn't come.

"You gunna be ok in there?"

 _"Yeah. We're good. Chibs has it sorted. Listen I gotta go, wanna take us down now."_

Harley sighed lengthily. "Ok. Please be careful Hap. I love you."

Happy rested his head against the wall and stared at the ceiling for a second. He knew he was hardening himself against inevitable heartbreak. There was no way he could ask Harley to wait 12 years for him.

" _Just look after yourself girl."_ He hung up without saying anything else, before he could say anything else.

On hearing the dial tone Harley lay back on her freshly made bed and stared at the phone for a second before throwing it clear across the room and turning into her pillow to cry.

About five minutes later Mari knocked softly on the door before letting herself in.

"Oh _mija_ , he's going to be ok." She moved quietly over to sit softly on the edge of the bed.

"I know _he'll_ be ok. I just don't know if _we_ will." She wiped under her eyes before sitting up next to Mari.

"He'll try to push you away _querida_. It's the way men do things. Just wait him out." Mari patted her knee.

"He could be doing hard time and I get it. But I want to be with him."

"I know."

"I just wish it was different. My dad went in for some shitty charge and just never came out again. And Hap's just like him. The club asks him to do something in there and that'll be him. I don't know what to think." She spoke honestly with her mother in law. They may have got off to a rough start but Mari had become like a second mother to her and she cared deeply for the older woman. She knew Mari would steer her in the right direction.

"His loyalty is what makes him such a good man-" Harley internally chuckled at Mari's description of her son as a good man, knowing what she knew about his role in the club- "and, I'm sure is part of what makes you love him. I pray to god that he will come out of these things alive and well and each time he goes in I know I may never see him again. And it worries me. But I know my son and he will come out of this. If anything, for you."

Harley looked briefly into Mari's dark eyes, they were full of love and concern but Harley just couldn't believe her. "Why can't he tell me that then Mari? Why can't he just reassure me that he loves me?"

"I know my son loves you." She said strongly.

"I don't!" Harley was frustrated now. "This whole time we've been together he's kind of said it once. That's it! He inked me, I'm willing to wait for him, to put my life on hold for him because I love him. Just like my Ma did for my dad for 10 years, but Hap can't even tell me he appreciates it. That he loves me. All he has to say Mari is those three words. But he can't. And he won't." She stood from the bed and moved to her dresser to take out her pyjamas.

Mari sighed, she didn't know what to say to that. "He is a very complicated man. I tried my best with him, but I think the damage his father caused runs deeper than I could have imagined and I know that's why he is the way he is. But don't doubt he loves you. I know him and I know he does."

Harley shook her head. "That's his exact words. But I do doubt it. When he's given me no assurance that he does." She slammed the drawer shut. "All I wanted from him tonight was some comfort. I know he's the one in jail but I bet you any money Roxy is out there right now with Juice's whispering sweet nothings in her ear down the damn phone and here I am with a quick _look after yourself_ followed by the dial tone." She turned back to Mari with tears brimming in her eyes. "Am I just not enough? Am I not worth it for him? Am I just him passing the time?"

Mari tsked and scoffed as she rose to her feet and moved towards Harley, placing her hands on the young women's arms. "I promise you that you are more than enough for my idiot son. And you are more than worth it for him." She pulled her in for a hug. "We will see him tomorrow and that will reassure you. When you see him in front of you." She pulled back. "And who knows? They may be out soon we'll figure it all out _mija_."

Harley nodded and wiped her eyes. "Ok Mari."

"Call me Ma." Harley wiped another couple of tears before leaning back in for another hug. "Now go change and we'll ask those two out there what is happening."

xxx xxx

"The guys are in there for Grevious Bodily Injury. There was some random Iron Devil's member hanging round Lance's gas station when they were on the way back from Stockton. He approached them and said some shit which led to a fight. Two on one, naturally he came out worse off. Thought we were in the clear but it seems some witness has come forward." Chibs took another sip of his coffee. "We have SAMTAC's Intelligence Officer on it, we'll see about this witness."

Roxy nodded slowly. She knew what _seeing about the witness_ means and just hoped it wouldn't get any more of them locked up, but right now she was pissed with the fact Juice had gone to jail for the fucking club again. "What did this guy say? I hope to God Juan didn't get himself locked up over some club bullshit." She growled.

"Hey." Chibs warned. "You know club comes first Rox."

"I know that Chibs. More than most of you. It's come first my whole fucking life, parents missing all my school bullshit, achievements, dance concerts, fucking everything. And after what happened to the last baby you'd think he would put me first this fucking time round." She huffed.

Chibs rolled his eyes, the shit was piling up and piling up and he just didn't have the patience for it. He and Roxy had mended their bridges after what happened with Juice but they still weren't the best. Juice had asked them not to tell Roxy what the Iron Devils knew but he was making an executive decision here.

"This wasn't about the club Rox." He stated calmly and both Roxy and Harley looked at each other confused. "That bastard knew about the Triad bullshit and started some shit about you so Juice lost it and Hap stepped in to back him up." He laid it all out on the table.

The colour had drained from Roxy's face and Harley grasped her hand tightly in her own. "What sort of shit did they know Chibs?" Roxy asked, her voice strong despite the hurt coursing through her.

Chibs ran a hand over his short goatee, tugging on the ends slightly. "They seem to know everything that happened at the end of last year. He uh... alluded to seeing some things."

Roxy nodded. She feared that would have been the case and her heart dropped more knowing that not only was Juice inside for her but Happy was too.

She cleared her theist slightly before talking. "I'm sorry guys. And I'm sorry Mari and Harley." She looked to the other two women.

"What are you sorry for? My son chose to do what he did and he wouldn't have done it lightly. If it was protecting your honour then I'm glad he did." Mari was confused as to the details but she was proud that if her son was in jail for anything at least it was for something more honourable than club stuff.

Harley squeezed Roxy's hand and shook her head. "No red to be sorry babe."

Roxy looked over at Chibs and Tig. "I think I'm going to head to bed. Long day tomorrow." She stood to head to the spare room.

"No. Take my bed Rox. You need it more than I do." Harley offered.

She nodded her head, thankful she'd have a comfortable night. "You can share with me if you like. Might be nice to have company."

Tig was going to open his mouth to say something but Chibs shot him a look and shook his head slightly. So instead Tig bid Roxy goodnight and let her leave.

When Roxy was gone Harley turned back to Chibs. "So how much trouble they in?" She leant forward, resting her elbows on her knees and bracing for the worst.

"Juice has one strike and Hap already has two so they'll both get the maximum penalty of six years if they're found guilty by jury. Hap's sentence will be doubled with this being his third strike." Harley groaned and let her head hang to clasp her hands behind her head. Mari sat next to her and stroked her back softly. "Rosen says if they enter a plea he could maybe get it down to two for Juice and four for Hap."

Tig decided to pipe up then. "This is all if Macca can't find out who the witness is or if we can't sort it."

Harley nodded and moved her head back up. "So prepare for the worst but hope for the best?"

"Aye. We're on it though lass." Chibs assured.

"I just pray it works out. For everyone's sake." Mari added before looking down at the girl she was fast considering her own daughter. Wondering how she'd take it all if he was in for twelve years. Wondering if her son would even make it that long.

xxx xxx

Juice lay on his top bunk staring at the ceiling. The Mayans had cleared out a bunk for them amongst their crew and assured them they could sleep easy, however Juice was finding it hard to get any shut eye. He hated being in the dorm style open bunk room where anyone could do anything. And frequently did.

He'd been treated to the sounds of someone enjoying themselves a few minutes ago and based on the grunts it didn't sound consensual. He shuddered and turned over to face the small dividing wall between him and the next bunk, another Mayan thankfully sleeping there.

Happy kicked his mattress from below and told him to go to sleep but he couldn't switch his brain off. Based on Happy's mood after the phone calls he was assuming things with Harley hadn't gone smoothly but he daren't ask the killer what was going on. Maybe Roxy would fill him in tomorrow.

That was the only thing getting him through this right now. The fact that come tomorrow morning he'd see his beautiful wife and their precious baby bump.

That's when it started to really sink in. The fact that he probably wasn't going to see his precious baby enter the world was killing him. After what happened last time he'd envisaged this going a lot differently this time round and he hated that he wasn't going to be there for Roxy. Or the kid. He was already turning into his absent father and his kid wasn't even born yet.

He sighed again and turned back over, unable to get his mind to shut off he knew tomorrow would be tough on no sleep and no meds. He could hear Happy sighing in frustration from beneath and decided he best stop shifting the bunk. Otherwise he may not make it out of this place alive.

And right now he needed to focus on doing just that. And of course praying for a fucking miracle.


	125. Chapter 125

**A/N: just a short one for you all tonight. The next one is in the works.**

 **Thanks as always to _AngR_ and _Lennon_ for your thoughts. I appreciate it as always! Love your support!**

 **And thanks to my new reviewer _Jera_! I'm glad you enjoy!**

 **Also thanks to the new Favouriters and Followers!**

 **Also the conversation between Happy and his Ma that's in _italics_ is Spanish. I don't actually know Spanish and figured not everyone who reads this would either do I wrote it in English. Just pretend it's Spanish haha. **

**As always, please read, review, and enjoy!**

 **xxx xxx**

 _3_ _0 weeks..._

Roxy woke up with a start the next morning. She had no idea when she eventually fell asleep but she must have succumbed to exhaustion just before dawn. Harley had joined her in the bed and snuggled up as best she could but they didn't speak. She was fairly certain Harley had no sleep either as they'd both tossed and turned a bit.

Now, however, the sun was streaming through breaks in the curtains and Roxy could smell coffee brewing in the kitchen. She left Harley in bed, who must have passed out at some point too and shuffled to the ensuite. Her stomach was already churning and her head spinning. The exhaustion combined with the stress meant today would be a fun day spent vomiting.

She smiled softly at Happy's toiletries standing in a neat little group in the corner of the vanity, it was so weird to think of the Tacoma Killer and her best friend playing house but the evidence was all around her.

Once she'd finished her morning ablutions she tip toed through the bedroom to the kitchen where she was greeted by a busy Mari and a laid back Tig.

"Didn't know you stayed the night Tig." She kissed him on the cheek before sitting down at the table as Mari made a place for her.

"Couldn't leave you guys unprotected." He offered. "Plus if a breakfast like this is provided then I'm always in."

Roxy tsked as Mari chuckled softly. "Mari you shouldn't be making us all breakfast. Especially not this idiot."

"Nonsense _querida._ It keeps my hands and mind at work."

"Fair enough." She smiled softly as Mari placed some pancakes and fresh fruit down in front of Roxy. "Don't _you_ have an Old Lady to make your breakfast?" She pointed a fork at Tig.

He shrugged and took another gulp of his coffee. "Venus was busy last night anyway. Out of town."

Roxy nodded and turned back to her food. "Thank you Mari. This is lovely." Roxy said politely. She wasn't feeling very well at all but the pancakes tasted beautiful and she didn't want to be rude. "Tig would you mind passing my purse?" She asked after a few minutes.

"You got two legs and a heartbeat, get it yourself." He scoffed.

Roxy groaned. "Please Tig. I need my pills. If I get up right now I'll be sick."

Mari swatted his arm and he rolled his eyes before fetching her bag and handing it over. Roxy pulled out her vitamins and swallowed them before taking out her anti nausea tablets to hopefully help her for the day. She needed to take one of the emergency ones too as she knew there was no way she could hold it in much longer and once she started vomiting that would be it for the day.

"You going to be alright?" Mari asked.

Roxy gulped down some water in an attempt to settle her stomach. "I should be. Just trying to get on top of it."

"Finish this then go lie back down until we need to go." Mari ordered with all the authority of a mother. Roxy smiled and nodded before picking at the rest of her food.

xxx xxx

They pulled up outside Roxy and Juice's house so she could quickly run in and change. Harley was driving Mari and Roxy while Tig and TO escorted them to the prison. It was only about 20 minutes away but Roxy was not looking forward to the trip. She had already thrown up her breakfast and knew the car trip would be just as fun. But she _had_ to see Juice.

She quickly changed into a figure hugging black pregnancy dress and slipped on some sandals. Fluffing out her hair she decided to just apply some waterproof mascara and nothing else. Chances were she'd throw up and wreck it all anyway.

Grabbing a grey cardigan she locked up and headed back out to the car to head up to the jail.

County was slightly different to Stockton State and for that Roxy was thankful, helped her feel like it was different to last time. Though she was still very apprehensive in their situation it kept the bad thoughts at bay.

After their thorough search and they'd been brought through to the waiting room Roxy had to excuse herself to the bathroom. The nerves of everything wasn't helping her nausea and she felt like she was going to puke every second.

Luckily she made it back just in time for them to be called through to the waiting room. It was much smaller than the one at Stockton but the prisoners were allowed a bit more free reign as most were in on parole violations and it was minimum security.

Roxy sat at the school canteen style table and watched as Harley and Mari were walked over to a similar table a couple of rows away. The visiting room was quiet so luckily they didn't have much of an audience. Some people were finishing their visits as a couple more were led in.

Roxy fiddled nervously with her wedding ring as she waited to see Juice appear. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity listening to the buzzing of the fluorescent light above her table, the buzz of the door entry rang out and Juice appeared in the doorway with a guard. He brightened up immediately as soon as he saw her and Roxy's heart twisted with love and apprehension.

"Hey baby." His voice was muffled by her hair as he wrapped her in a huge hug. "I'm so sorry." He whispered as he pulled back enough to kiss her.

"It's ok." She shrugged. "Any news on the case?" She asked as they sat down across from each other.

"Spoke with Rosen again this morning. Only evidence they've got is the witness. The Iron Devils guy won't say anything."

"Smart man."

"Yeah. So uh..." he leant forward to ensure maximum privacy even though there was no one else on the tables around them. "Chibs and SAMTAC are on it."

Roxy breathed a sigh of relief. "Think it'll work out?"

"Hope so." He shrugged. "How are you anyway?"

"Stressed the fuck out Juan. I can't do this without you. I'm so scared." She teared up. He knew she was petrified of the c section and knowing there was a chance he'd be in here for it he felt like shit.

"I know babe. But Tig or Harley will go in with you and just think, at the end of it we're gunna have a beautiful baby. You'll be able to do it, I know how fucking strong you are."

Roxy nodded and wiped her tears, thankful she didn't wear any make up other than waterproof mascara. "Thanks babe. Let's just hope they get you out by then. 6 weeks you got to get this shit sorted."

He sighed and nodded again. "I know. I might cut it fine but I've got it covered. In the mean time Chibs told me he'll have Tig with you as much as possible, Rat or TO might spend the night from time to time but he's gunna try keep it as Tig as much as possible."

"Thanks babe."

They continued talking as Happy was led over to Harley and Mari. Roxy smiled at him which earned her a brief nod in return before he was enveloped in a hug by his anxious mother.

" _Dios mio hijo!_ " Mari scolded as she let him go and pushed him towards Harley. They embraced awkwardly and Mari frowned as she sat down.

"How are you?" He asked, only briefly looking at Harley.

"Fine." Harley answered softly as she looked at her hands, her eyes darting briefly over her crow before going back to her thumb ring.

Mari tsked her son before glaring at him. " _We_ are worried. How are you doing?"

Happy shrugged as he studied Harley's uncomfortable body language. "You know me. I'll be fine."

"That's what I worry about, I do know you. No trouble in here." She warned. "We want you having a chance at release so no shenanigans or club jobs."

"I got club jobs to do Ma. But none of them should get me in trouble so don't stress."

Mari sighed indignantly before gesturing towards Harley who was looking longingly over at Juice and Roxy who were holding hands over the table and talking intensely.

"Aren't you going to show an interest in your Old Lady?" She asked pointedly.

Happy shot his Ma a glare in warning at her meddling before talking to her in Spanish. " _Don't meddle in my shit."_

 _"I wouldn't have to meddle if you weren't so stupid."_

 _"You don't know you're doing here Ma. Leave it alone."_

 _"I know when my son is being stupid. That girl is the best thing for you. She'll do anything for you and you won't even show her you care? What is wrong with you?!"_ She hissed.

Harley couldn't understand a word they were saying to each other but she knew it was heated and given the fact they both kept looking in her direction she knew it was about her.

" _That's the point Ma! I don't want her to do anything for me. She'll stick by me through a 12 year sentence and all it'll do is fuck up her life. So let me sort this and keep yourself out of it."_

 _"Bit hard when I live in her house don't you think? Plus who says it'll be 12 years."_ She sighed and grasped her son's hand over the table before levelling with him. " _I don't have much time left Happy. And my one fear about death is leaving you alone. Please don't ruin a good thing. I know you love her. So do something for yourself for once."_

Harley had had enough. She'd been watching Juice stroke Roxy's hand lovingly as they spoke, while listening to Happy arguing with his Ma in Spanish. It was obvious he was arguing about not wanting to be with her. His coldness to her was testiment to that. She sighed and stood up, catching the attention of the bickering mother and son next to her.

"I'm gunna go. I'll wait outside for you Mari." She glanced to Happy. "Be safe." Was all she said before turning to leave, but Mari grasped her hand.

"No, stay _mija_ my son wants to talk to you. I'll meet you outside." Harley sighed but obliged with the older woman who turned back to Happy. " _Make this right mijo."_ She warned before squeezing his hand and standing to leave. She patted Harley's shoulder lovingly and made her way toward the entrance.

Happy rubbed a hand over the stubble on his forehead and shifted awkwardly in his seat, words not coming to him. They never did.

"Look, I'll just go." Harley offered, shifting in her seat again, but Happy grabbed her hand from across the table.

"Nah, she's right. Stay."

Harley shrugged and turned back to him. "What is it? If you wanna break up then fine. Your Ma can stay with me while you're in here, but don't think-"

"Stop it." He glared. "I ain't gunna break up with you. Not till we figure out what the plan is here."

It was Harley's turn to glare. "So what you're just gunna keep me on hold till you decide? It don't work like that Hap." She growled.

"S'not like I'm holdin out for a better offer here Harley!" He hissed as he gestured round the room with his hands. "I'm trying to stop you from being sentenced to twelve fucking years right along with me!"

Harley scoffed. "It's not a sentence when you love the other person." She hissed back.

Happy groaned and rubbed his head again. "Look. I just want you to be happy, Harley, and you won't be happy if we end up just like your mom and pop."

"I'm happy with you. That's what I want. I'm not stupid Hap, I know damn well what can happen, just like with my pop. But I won't be happy knowing I gave you up."

Happy looked her in the eyes and felt his resolve crumble. He was trying to do the right thing by her but fuck it... if she was in then so was he. It'd make his life a damn sight happier knowing he had her to look forward to on visits and that she'd be right there waiting for him on the outside.

"I wouldn't be happy either." He smirked at the pun. "I just don't wanna hold you back if this falls through."

She smiled. "Hey I knew the reality of this when I got into it with you. I know what club life entails, probably more than most. And I'm in it for you Happy. If you are in it with me?" She watched him consider her statement for a moment. She knew he was struggling with her making this choice, he just couldn't see it as a good life choice.

But Hap had made his decision. He needed something in his life, something positive and Harley loved him. And he knew he loved her. So he took a deep breath and looked her straight in the eyes.

"Course I'm in it with you. I love you girl." He said calmly.

Harley just about fell off her seat, she hadn't really expected that. But instead she jumped up and moved to his side of the table as he stood and she almost knocked him over with her embrace. He chuckled softly and pulled back slightly.

"Calm down bitch." He joked affectionately before tilting her head up for a deep kiss, well as deep as they were allowed.

When they pulled away from each other, to a respectable distance, she could see the hunger in his eyes so she winked. "Just wait till you get home babe."

"Oh yeah?"

"Oh yeah. I got some handcuffs and I can assure you they're more fun than these ones."

Happy groaned and sat back down before he bent her over the table. Who knew emotional declarations would be such a turn on.

The buzzer sounded not long after and Roxy looked over at Harley to see what she was up to and was surprised to see them in a tight embrace, Happy cradling her head against his chest.

"I don't wanna go." Roxy said softly into Juice's chest as they hugged.

"I know babe. But it's not for long." He commented.

"Please be careful. I'll be up in the week so I'll see you then. No solitary babe. And please just look after yourself. I know you'll be off your meds."

Juice scowled. "I'll be fine. I love you." He kissed her again to keep her mind off the situation he was in and pushed her to follow Harley out the room.

Juice made his way over to Happy and they watched the girls leave before moving back towards their exit.

"Seems that went well brother." Juice observed.

"She's a good girl, Harley." Happy nodded as they were searched before being waved through to the activity rooms.

"She cares a lot about you bro, her and Roxy never fuckin shut up about you half the time." Juice rolled his eyes.

But Happy chuckled. "Course they don't. I am pretty fucking awesome."

They made their way back over to the Mayan group they'd teamed up with, not missing the looks the AB brothers gave them, especially the cold gaze of Ron Tully.


	126. Chapter 126

**A/N: hello! Thanks to all the new followers and favouriters!**

 **As always _AngR_ and _Lennon_ I appreciate your feedback and I'm glad you're enjoying!**

 **And _Jera_ and _Anarchy_ _Fan_ I'm so glad you're loving it too! I love hearing your thoughts. **

**And to new reader _Eowyn628_ hello when you catch up to here! If you haven't read her story _The Devil Took Her Breath Away_ yet you should, it's a work of art!**

 **Anyways, we're setting the scene for the final story arc. Enjoy!**

 **xxx xxx**

 _31 weeks..._

It was the start of the guys' second week in prison and Roxy was feeling awful. She'd dragged herself in for the visit, not wanting to miss it for the world, but it was almost killing her. The stress of the week had been too much and Roxy had spent all of yesterday in bed to prepare for this visit. Tara had checked in on her and the baby and was close to sending her to the hospital, but given the baby's heartbeat was ok she let her stay home so she could come today.

Harley had driven them both up, Mari wasn't up to the trip that day having started a new round of chemo the day before. What has started as ovarian cancer had spread through her body and was slowly killing her, but she'd agreed to the chemo to keep Happy, happy.

Harley was called through first this time and beamed when she saw Happy coming through the other door as she sat down. He didn't offer much of an embrace, just a deep kiss before taking his seat opposite her.

Before she could get any words out Happy spoke. "How's Ma?" He was worried sick, knowing she was starting an new round of chemo was constantly on his mind. The last time she'd been really sick and Ysabel had to take a week off to care for her so he hoped Harley would be up for the task.

"She's ok. Slept since she got home from the hospital last night and was still groggy this morning so she went back to bed. The home nurse is going round today so she'll be ok. Venus is also going to check on her while I'm out. She wanted me to pass on her love." Harley smiled softly. "How are you doing?"

He shrugged as he surveyed their surroundings. The guards were chatting to each other on the opposite side of the room and there was only one other family in there and they were several tables away. Still, he leaned close before talking to her. "The club has sorted our witness issue. So Rosen told us this morning we are in the clear."

"Oh that's fantastic news!" Harley gushed and squeezed his hand over the table. "When you getting out then?"

"Well they can keep us in for another three weeks in case the witness comes forward but I don't see that happening any time soon." Happy smirked. Tacoma had taken him out. It was some deadbeat from around Lodi who had pulled into the gas station not long after the lady who was filling up when shit went down. Happy wasn't 100% on the details but was assuming SAMTAC had disposed of him. Either way he was getting out and he didn't give a shit.

"Oh, well it's good to know you'll be out... provided you don't get into any other shit while you're here."

"I doubt we will babe. We got a little club business to tie up in here but nothing that I can see getting us in trouble."

"Thank god, because I _really_ miss you." She rubbed her stiletto clad foot up his calf under the table.

Happy shifted in his seat and fixed her with a heated glare. "You got no fucking idea what I got in store for you, girl."

Harley hummed softly before leaning on her elbows against the table, pushing her ample cleavage together, her black shirt buttoned dangerously low. "I don't think you do. My mini Happy just really doesn't cut it these days."

Happy groaned quietly as he imagined her in their bed putting her vibrator to good use. "3, weeks little girl, 3 weeks."

"Good because you do owe me that date night after all and I intend on cashing in. Heavily."

xxx xxx

Roxy was watching Happy and Harley intently from her spot at a table while she waited on Juice. She was glad they seemed to have sorted everything out. Harley had filled her in on the past few weeks of their relationship and was so happy with how things were going. Roxy was glad, she deserved every bit of happiness he gave her. Sometimes she got so wrapped up in her own family drama she forgot that Harley had been in a similar boat and she knew she hadn't really gotten over everything and that Happy was helping her with that process.

She soon forgot all about the other couple as Juice was walking over to her table. She stood quickly, feeling lightheaded, but Juice had her wrapped in a strong embrace before she could really feel it.

"I love you so much." He whispered against her hair as his hand moved round to stroke her rounded stomach lovingly. He pushed her back so he could kiss her before letting his eyes roam her body.

Not seeing her every day he was able to see changes when she came to see him. Coming towards the final weeks of her pregnancy her belly was expanding at a quick rate and it excited him to see the signs of their little life growing inside her.

However, when his eyes flashed up to her face he could see the strain this situation was putting on her. She looked tired, and not just 'oh I've been up too late at night' tired but proper bags under the eyes, pale face tired. The spark of love was still present in her eyes but it seemed like the life was draining out of her.

"How you doing baby?" He asked as he sat down opposite her, still holding her hand.

"Not so hot. Was in bed all day yesterday."

"Shit." He sighed heavily. "What Tara say?"

"Just that I'm probably going to end up on bed rest. But I need to see you Juan. I can't even think about not seeing you for 6 more weeks. Then after I've had the baby it'll probably be a couple weeks before I can bring them here." Her eyes darted round the depressing room and he could see the tell tale signs of tears springing to her eyes.

"Well that's probably not going to happen." He beamed at her. "Looks like the case has been dropped. Lack of evidence." He winked. "They wanna keep us here three more weeks in the hopes they can rebuild the case but Rosen said the missing witness was their only chance."

Roxy breathed a sigh of relief and he could see the stress visibly leave her body, she was far more relaxed now and had a smile cracking over her face.

"Thank the lord. I was really scared there."

Juice squeezed her hand at her words. "Well, no need now." He stroked the back of her hand with his thumb before dropping the intense gaze. "So how's the baby prep going?"

Roxy groaned and rolled her eyes. They'd still had a few things to finish in the nursery and stuff to buy before he'd been taken in. They hadn't got to the final planning stages with Gabriel so she still had loads to do.

"Well I don't really know what I'm doing, so fuck knows how it's going." She moaned. "It's times like this I wish I had Ma around." She shrugged.

"Tara's helping though, yeah?"

She scoffed. "Yeah. But you know what Tara's like. I love her and all but we are very different people and she's almost neurotic when it comes to planning. She's driving me insane! Especially seeing as I've been in bed off and on this last week. I had to get Venus to send her off yesterday." Juice chuckled at her ramblings. "Luckily she did all the washing for me so baby's clothes are good to go. Tig set up the car seat and the bouncer while Venus helped me organise bottles and sterilise." She scowled. The doctors had informed her last week that it was best she didn't breastfeed. They wanted her back on her heart meds straight after the birth and they'd pass through her milk to the baby. That had really upset her and she'd cried through the entire phone call to Juice that night, to the point where he had to hang up and call Harley to go round and see her. Harley snapped her out of it quick smart and told her she shouldn't feel bad about it, so she was mostly over it now.

"Don't stress about that. I know you had your heart set but it's safer this way. Plus it means I can do more stuff when baby is here." He reassured. He was starting to get really excited about the baby with every passing day and it was all he thought about in here while he kept focused on not loosing his mind.

Roxy huffed but continued anyway. "TO and Chibs offered to set up the new crib but I thought I'd leave that to you, hoping you'd be out in time. Now you will be." She smiled.

Juice beamed, he had really wanted to help and be involved so he was glad she'd thought of him. "Of course, my first daddy task." He was determined to be a better father than his ever was, so he was willing to throw himself into every task sent his way.

Roxy laughed. "Yes. It best not fall apart Juan Carlos or I'll be very annoyed."

"Course it won't fall apart. I know what I'm doing." He scoffed.

"Just read the instructions first." She shifted on the uncomfortable bench. "Think they'd get me a fucking cushion or something. My ass has gone numb already."

"I won't keep you long then, looks like Happy is gunna have to be hauled back in soon." He looked over at Happy practically eye fucking Harley across the table, Harley with far too much cleavage on show for the visiting room.

Roxy rolled her eyes. "Leave him alone. They're finally all solid."

"Yeah I'm glad. He woulda been a pain in my ass otherwise."

Roxy scoffed this time. "Like you're a bunch of roses in here all the time."

Juice frowned thinking back on his time in Stockton State. "Yeah probably not."

"How you doing anyways?" She asked, concern flashing briefly in her eyes.

"Yeah, ok." He shrugged.

"No meds gotta be tough."

"I'm fine." He insisted. Truth be told he was anxious as fuck 90% of the time, especially with Roxy's current condition.

Roxy hummed in disbelief. "Whatever you say. Just look after yourself.

"I will." He looked over as Happy stood to embrace Harley, almost mauling her in the process. The guards called his name in warning and Happy reluctantly pulled away before patting Harley on the ass as she turned round.

Roxy laughed at the obnoxious swing of Harley's hips as she sauntered out of the visiting room. "Looks like my cue to leave. Call me tonight?"

"Of course baby." He stood and offered his hand to her as she groaned while pulling herself up from the seat.

He pulled her in for a hug and smiled against her lips as they kissed. "I'll be out in three weeks."

"Can't come quick enough."

xxx xxx

 _Almost 33 weeks..._

Roxy was on tenterhooks waiting for Juice to come home. She'd be 35 weeks by the time he gets out and she was due for her c section on 20th September, a mere week after his release. She thanked whatever higher power there was, and of course little Gabriel up there, for making sure that would happen. There was no way she could go through that alone and no way Juice would deal with having missed his baby's birth.

Roxy was not thanking the higher powers today however, she had a killer migraine and had been up all night puking. And today was visiting day. She decided it was probably best to call Tara some time around 5am and now she was down at the hospital, strapped up to every monitor under the sun while Tara talked to Dr. Baker and Dr. Warner.

She kept glancing at the clock, wondering if she would make it out in time for the afternoon visit, but she wouldn't hold her breath. Harley was still on her way to the prison as she had to update Happy on his Ma. Chibs had agreed to go up with her so Juice wouldn't miss a visit. Plus he had something to talk to Juice about anyway so it worked out.

Now she just had to accept whatever news the three doctors had to give her. She knew baby was ok as the heartbeat was strong and ultrasounds seemed normal. But Roxy knew her blood pressure was through the roof.

Sighing lengthily she watched as Dr. Warner shook Dr. Baker's hand before walking back into her room, Tara hot on her heels.

"So I'm afraid it's probably not the news you want to hear Roxy..." she started, Roxy immediately felt tears spring to her eyes as the feeling of helplessness overwhelmed her. "I'm afraid your blood pressure is way too high for me to allow you to leave. We can't give you the medicine to lower the blood pressure as it will adversely affect your heart. The high BP was why you had the migraine and seems to be exacerbating the Hyperemesis gravidarum as well. The safest thing from here is delivery. As soon as possible." Tara took Roxy's hand as she immediately started to cry with panic.

Roxy couldn't seem to think straight, the imminent threat of the birth was too much to bear. Things weren't ready, she wasn't mentally prepared for it to be shunted forward by almost three weeks, the baby damn sure wasn't cooked yet, and worst of all Juice was still 2 and a bit weeks from release.

"I- I can't- not- Juice is- Tara?" She couldn't explain her point properly without sounding hysterical so she tugged on Tara's hand to explain.

"Like I told you and Dr. Baker, Juan Carlos won't be back for another 2 weeks. Is there any way to hold on?" She questioned.

Dr. Warner sighed. "We keep you on bed rest here Roxy and see how far we can go on. But if we have to get baby out we will need to do it. Daddy or no daddy I'm afraid." Roxy nodded her head vigoursly in agreement, and immediately regretted it with the headache. "In the meantime I suggest having your lawyer petition for early release on these grounds. If there's no case then I don't see why they'd make him miss this. God knows that place is full to busting. I'm sure a judge will see fit to release him before the wait is up." She advised.

Tara and Roxy both nodded. Roxy hadn't really wanted her doctor to know about the club issues but Charming was a small town and news travelled fast whenever something went down in SAMCRO. So Dr. Warner would have found out anyway. At least she didn't seem to judge and in this instance had some useful suggestions.

"Thank you. I'll get on to that today." Roxy mumbled, still calming down from her crying spree.

"Any time. Look I'll have a private room arranged for you, perhaps you can have someone go by your house and pick up your things? You will most likely not be leaving the hospital until baby comes." Roxy nodded. "Ok. I'll go get the paperwork started and will send a nurse to move you when the room is ready. I'll see you at evening rounds."

"Thanks."

Tara sighed and squeezed Roxy's hand. "I'll step out and let Chibs know to what to tell Juice."

xxx xxx

Chibs sat in the visitation room waiting for Juice and was struck with a strong case of de-ja-vu. He remembered the depressing phone calls after Roxy lost Gabriel and Juice was in solitary. God that nearly killed him every time. Then when Roxy sent him with the letter to break up with him. He didn't think he'd ever seen a man so broken... well, until he met Juice in that cafe and told him to eat his gun.

He sighed heavily as he thought back on everything in their relationship and wished they were as close now as they were then. Maybe it would make being the bearer of bad news easier. But then again, maybe he deserved everything he was feeling right now. Chibs knew he'd made many mistakes over the last year, most concerning Juice, so perhaps comforting him in a time of need once again would be a healing process for them.

Chibs immediately recognised the look of disappointment on Juice's face when he scanned the waiting room for his visitor and his gaze landed on Chibs. It was then replaced with panic when he realised what that meant and as he practically ran to Chibs he prayed to every god above that Roxy and the baby were fine.

"What happe-" he burst out.

"Relax lad, it's ok. I promise you she's fine." Chibs put a fatherly hand on Juice's shoulder.

Juice seemed to relax slightly and nodded before sitting down across the table and waited for Chibs to join him. "Where is she?"

Chibs sighed. "Had to take her in to the hospital, she was so sick. Doctors have said they want to have the baby out earlier but she's begged them to wait for you. So they've agreed under the condition she stays on bed rest in the hospital."

"Fuck!" Juice slammed his hand on the table, startling Harley who was sitting waiting for Happy nearby.

"Look she's ok in the scheme of things and I've filed a petition with Rosen to have you released early on these grounds. He seemed confident."

"What about Hap though? Can't leave him in here alone." Juice nodded to Happy who was sitting down with Harley now after as much of a make out session as they could get away with.

"He'll be fine for a week or so. Plus he'll have more protection if our plan goes ahead."

"What plan?" Juice lent forward on the table.

"To get rid of the Iron Devils threat. Which brings me to my next point of business."

"What's that?" Juice eyed him cautiously.

"Need you and Hap to have a sit down with Ron Tully." Chibs explained.

"Ron Tully? As in captain of mount whitey... you do realise that Hap and I probably aren't his favourite colour. Me especially." He referenced his father's heritage.

Chibs frowned. "I know. But I've been assured he'll meet with you. You'll have to do all the talking knowing Hap."

Juice scowled. "Fuck." He considered for a moment. "Fine what do I gotta say?"

xxx xxx

 _33 weeks..._

Happy was _not_ happy about this. He knew Jax had spoken with Tully when he was in here after the whole Gemma-trying-to-kill-Tara shenanigan. But Jax was white and they were not. And Happy hated racist motherfuckers like Tully. He didn't think he'd be able to play nice. But given Juice was the brains of the pair he was simply there to back shit up in case they tried anything.

The Mayan leader, Torrez, had set up the meet for them at lunch. Tully knew the meet had to happen as Chibs had spoken to his counterpart in the outside however they'd only set the appointment yesterday.

Happy and Juice walked into the canteen with the Mayans as usual and scanned the tables for Tully and his guys. Happy nodded to Juice and in the direction of the guys so they moved forward to get their food. Once they had their trays of prison standard chilli and over cooked vegetables they made their way towards the AB table. Tully's men stared menacingly at them as they approached but Tully waved them through. He waved a heavily tattooed hand in their direction and motioned to the recently vacated seats in front of him; which Juice and Happy took confidently.

"So I had a call from my guys who spoke to Jax and your new president. Something about a little deal you might be able to swing our way?"

Juice nodded. "Heard of the Iron Devils MC?"

Tully nodded. "Vaguely. Some of my guys have filled me in."

"Well they're trying to push in on the Mayan turf-"

"Why would I give a shit about the wetback's turf?" Tully interrupted, eyeing Juice carefully.

Both Juice and Happy had been expecting the racial slurs and so neither batted an eyelid when he spoke, obviously being the right move when Tully had gauged their reaction.

"Because eventually they will encroach on yours." Juice pointed out succinctly. "Because of that SAMCRO has a proposition."

"Seeing as the last one went so well." Tully smirked having been filled in on the goings on at Leland's ranch.

Juice shrugged, not wanting to get into it right now when they were in such a vulnerable position. "You want to hear it or not?"

Tully narrowed his eyes, admiring the kid's spunk but not appreciating his tone. "Go ahead."

"SAMCRO intercepts their next shipment. Sell it to the AB, you do as you please with it. We'll take care of them while they're chasing their tails."

Tully stroked a hand over his chin as he considered, neither son missing the swastika on his hand. "Why would you offer us this?"

"The Sons don't deal. All we want outta this shit is to be rid of the threat to our peace."

Tully smirked. "The threat to your peace or the threat to Old Lady?" Juice tightened visibly in front of Tully and Happy shifted in his seat next to him. Tully nodded having gotten the reaction he'd imagined. "That's right. I know all about their little fling with Lin. Wanted to set up with us to get into the prison trade but we handle our own supply." He surveyed both men again with his beady eyes. "Look I ain't got interest in personal shit, I'd probably be just as pissed if some chinks did that to my bitch. But as you say, if they're gunna piss on our turf I'm in, regardless of your real motivations."

Juice nodded. "Ok cool. Our pres just wanted us to clear it up in person instead of passing messages through. If you set up a contact for us on the outside we'll pass details to him when it goes down."

Tully nodded with finality. "Ok. We're done then." There was no way he'd be shaking their hands, not that Juice or Happy would engage in a handshake with the neo Nazi. So Juice and Happy took his lead and stood from the table, neither noticing Tully's gaze on Juice's back as he left.

xxx xxx

"Fuck that was intense." Juice breathed out when they made it to the yard. They'd ditched their food after the meet and made their way to the Mayan group.

"He's a freaky motherfucker." Hap stated as he took his seat on a bench. Juice just stopped and looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "What?"

"Bit rich coming from you." He scoffed.

"I ain't a freaky motherfucker." He pulled out a smoke and lit up.

"Yeah, sure." Juice sat next to him and pulled out his own smoke, noticing he was running low. He decided to call Chibs or Harley and have them top up his commissary so he could buy more. He didn't want Roxy worrying about that shit. "Wonder how Rosen is going on the petition." He mused.

"Fuck knows." Happy wasn't too interested. It wouldn't affect his release any.

They watched as Tully entered the yard with his goons, his eyes scanning the lot and finding Juice and Happy in their usual seats with the Mayans. He gave a nod in their direction, an amused glint to his eyes.

"Yeah definitely a freaky motherfucker. Can't take his eyes off you." Happy noted.

Juice shuddered involuntarily. "I swear to god Hap, you better fucking watch my back in here."


	127. Chapter 127

**A/N: so glad you're all still enjoying! Just check you got the last chapter as I posted on the 21st October but some people didn't seem to get the alert till yesterday. Took em three days to send the emails...**

 **Anyways thanks to _AngR, docsangel, Melyloop, and Lennon_ for your reviews, and to the new followers and favouriters. Glad you're enjoying!**

 **xxx xxx**

 _34 weeks..._

"I am going insane in here Juice." Roxy was bored out her mind after a week on bed rest.

"Now you know how I feel." He laughed down the line.

"Yeah whatever." She scoffed. "Any news from Rosen yet?"

"It's up in front of the judge today so he'll come meet with me after. Fingers crossed."

"I hope it goes through. At least I'll have you to keep me company in here."

"I know babe. I've really fucking missed you." He said quietly.

"Me too." There was a knock at the door of her room and Dr. Warner poked her head through ready for morning rounds. She sighed and nodded to the doctor before turning her attention back to Juice. "Listen I gotta go. Dr. Warner is here to check on me. Please call as soon as you know what's happening?"

Juice sighed heavily into the phone, leaning against the wall by the phones he wanted nothing more than to be in that room with Roxy, holding her hand. "I will. I love you." He said softly.

"Love you too."

xxx xxx

One of the Mayans had come with Juice to use the phones as Happy was in the middle of a workout and Juice didn't want to bother him. They didn't speak as they walked back through towards the rec rooms but Juice needed to use the toilet.

"I'm just gunna go real quick. I'll be out in a sec." He told the Mayan they called G.

He just nodded and leant against the wall while Juice went in.

Juice finished up at the urinals and was checking out his stubble in the mirror when he noticed the other two guys in the toilet block scarper. Juice made to follow them when he came face to face with Tully.

Tully took his shower time while everyone else was busy in the rec rooms. He was, as Happy said, a weird motherfucker and didn't seem to like using the ablutions when others were around. Juice figured it had something to do with him having a big target on his back as leader of the AB. There were AB goons at the exits, not really listening or paying attention to the exchange going down.

"Fancy seeing you here." Tully said nonchalantly as he set up his shower stuff.

"What can I say, this is clearly the place to be." Juice joked uneasily. He wanted out and hoped to God that G would come in looking for him.

Tully stepped closer. "That it is."

"Well I gotta go meet with my lawyer. See ya round." Juice moved towards the exit, putting as much distance between him and Tully as he could.

"Shame you don't wanna join me." Tully called out, laughing as Juice scarpered and breathed a sigh of relief when he made it to the corridor.

"All good _ese_?" G questioned at the look on Juice's face.

Juice nodded. "Sooner I get outta here the better."

They found Happy where they'd left him, at the weights machine, top off, sweating buckets.

"Where'd you go?" He asked Juice gruffly.

"Call Roxy." He motioned for Happy to step over, out of earshot from the Mayans. "Ran into Tully in the toilets."

"What that fucker want? And why you goin in alone? You know better'n that."

Juice shrugged. "I was busting. And fuck knows what he wanted, he is creepy as shit." Juice frowned when he realised he sounded like a teenage girl gossiping.

"What's got you so shook up then? He want you to join him for a shower?" He chuckled as he threw his wife beater back on.

"Actually..." Juice rubbed a hand through his hair and Happy's eyes widened in surprise.

"Holy fuck!" He barked out a laugh. "Shit I really gotta watch your back now."

"What?" Juice demanded.

Happy stifled a laugh again, something which Juice found amusing given that Happy rarely ever expressed emotion.

"I've heard Tully enjoys the company of the brown boys in here but I didn't think we'd have another Dion situation."

Juice groaned. "You're a sick motherfucker."

"Hey I ain't the one attracting the Hitler Youth." He laughed again before pushing Juice towards the weight machine. "C'mon. You'll be outta here before you end up his bitch."

"That's reassuring." Juice snarked as he sat down on the bench, ready to work out some of his anxiety.

xxx xx

Roxy groaned as she turned over as best she could in the shitty hospital bed. _You'd think they'd have decent mattresses for bed rest_ she thought to herself.

"You alright there Rox?" Roxy fluttered her eyes open at the sound of Harley's soft voice.

"Hey Harley." She sat up properly. "I'm ok. Just can't get comfortable for my naps. I just wake up after a while thanks to this shit bed."

"I don't think it's the bed. I think that's just being pregnant that does that." She smirked and pushed over a box of chocolates.

"Still, I think I'd feel much more rested in my own bed." She scowled. "What's with the chocolates?"

"From the boys. They feel bad they haven't been able to visit. They're busy doing recon or some shit. I dunno I gave up listening to Rat halfway through. He's so full of himself."

Roxy giggled. Harley had taken issue with Rat as he had been fucking around with her stars whilst also, apparently, going steady with Brooke, who was a little fragile. The result was Brooke finding out and cracking it at him in the RedWoody bar and causing a scene. Most people took Rat's side but Harley felt for Brooke. Then they got back together and he kept it up. Harley banned him from RedWoody unless he was there for club business and Chibs had no option but to agree seeing as RedWoody was their big money maker at the moment.

"He still fucking around?" Roxy asked as she unwrapped the box.

"Not at my place at least. That poor girl."

"I know. She's been through a lot. Rats just too immature for a relationship yet. They're all like that for a while after patch in. Think the world revolves around their dick." Roxy and Harley both laughed remembering Jax and Opie's attitudes after patch in.

"Not Juice though." Harley commented as she stole her favourite chocolate from the box before Roxy could have it. "I mean he had a lot of girlies but he wasn't an ass about it."

Roxy rolled her eyes. "I'm glad to hear."

"Hey s'not like you were a virgin when you met him." She said around a mouthful of caramel and chocolate.

Roxy groaned. "Yeah but I was having a shit time with Matt. Let's not tell me how much fun Juice had before me. It's not fair." She laughed. "Oh my god!" She smacked Harley's hand as she reached for another chocolate.

"Ow!" She mocked injury.

"Sorry, you just reminded me. I was on Facebook earlier. Guess who got married?"

"Matt?" Harley asked with wide eyes.

"Yes! I saw some photos pop up from one of the girls I used to hang out with there. God it was sooooo tacky. Like mega tacky. Over the top, look how rich we are kinda tacky."

"Figures. Who'd he marry?"

"I dunno. I didn't recognise her. Pretty girl. Poor thing to be stuck with him."

"Agreed. Well at least he's happy then." Harley shrugged.

"I guess. How's Happy doing?"

Harley smiled. "He's good. Spoke to him earlier, he's having fun in there by the sounds of it, which worries me. He kept laughing about some shit with Juice. I don't really know what, I couldn't get him to explain it over the phone."

"So long as Juice isn't in trouble I don't care." Just then Roxy's phone rang and she recognised the withheld number as probably being from the prison. "Speaking of..."

" _An inmate from the San Joaquin County Jail is calling you. All calls will be recorded. To accept these charges please press one._ " Roxy immediately pressed the button.

"Juan?"

" _Hey Roxy! Guess what?!_ "

"It went through?" She asked excitedly.

" _Yeah it did! We'll be out tomorrow morning."_

"We?" Just then Harley's phone started ringing and Roxy assumed it was Happy.

" _Yeah, Rosen got us both out seeing as we were on the charges together."_

Harley squealed happily, obviously just getting the same news.

"Oh thank god! I can't wait to see you!" She smiled at Harley who was grinning just as widely.

"Me either. Sooner I get out of here the fucking better." He growled.

"What's going on? Harley said Happy was laughing about something you did earlier?"

Juice rolled his eyes and smacked Happy on the arm as he stood at the phone next to him. "Nothing for you to worry about babe."

"Ok..." Roxy sounded unsure. "Just get through tonight unscathed and I'll see you in the morning."

"Course I will. Tell the doctor I'll be there and we can get this show on the road!"

"Calm down. I dunno if I wanna have the baby just yet. It's still too early."

"Only by a couple weeks. You were having it at 36 weeks anyways what does it matter an extra two? I'm so excited! I just wanna meet my boy."

Roxy rolled her eyes. "It's gunna be a girl so get used to pink." When she'd been pregnant with Gabriel she'd always thought he was a boy. She had always wanted a boy first, she loved having a big brother and wanted her kids to have one too. But this time round she had her heart set on a girl. Maybe it was the sting of losing Gabriel. She didn't know.

"Whatever. Just sleep lots tonight so you're ready for whatever happens."

"They're not gunna get the baby out tomorrow even if you are home Juice so just calm down and relax. You are the one who needs to sleep. And smoke like 50 joints. I'm not having you bouncing round my room tomorrow. I'm supposed to be calm."

"Ok, ok. I'll be calm." The prison buzzer sounded down the line. "Listen that's the call for dinner, I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Ok. Love you."

"Love you too."

xxx xxx

Harley had been pacing down at the clubhouse for an hour now waiting on the guys to come back. Her and Tara were the only two Old Ladies of the club aside from Roxy. Venus may as well have been Tig's Old Lady but they hadn't labelled anything official so she wasn't counted quite yet.

Everyone had rode out to go and bring Juice and Happy back, so Harley was waiting anxiously down at the clubhouse. Even though it was only two members that had been away there was still a party scheduled for them that night. Some of the Indian Hills and SAMTAC guys were down for club business so the clubhouse was busy with people. There were crow eaters and sweetbutts milling around, looking for attention and the other charters' members hanging around playing pool.

After another half hour or so Harley could hear the thunder of Harleys pulling down the street and she abandoned her spot next to Tara at the bar.

"Finally!" She squealed and led the way to the lot.

The crow eaters knew to stay behind her as she waited for Happy, none of them much fancied having their heads taken off by an overexcited Harley.

She watched as they pulled in and lined their bikes up in formation, the crowd giving some hoots and hollers as they dismounted.

Happy scanned the waiting crowd and smirked when he saw Harley, front and centre, waiting for him. His eyes scanned her lithe body from head to toe. She had on a form fitting, pale red summer dress, low cleavage, black pumps and her hair was curled loosely round her face. Damn he couldn't believe how good it was to see her.

He swaggered over to the group with Juice and the others, both returning brothers receiving congratulatory hugs and pats on the back, but Happy wasn't paying attention. He only had eyes for one person. This was the first time he'd been inside that he'd had someone to come home to and the feeling was incredible. Sure he had always had a bevy of girls to choose from upon his arrival back from the joint, but this time was better.

He stopped dead in front of her and stared her down, waiting for her to make the first move.

"Good to have you home, _killer_." She purred before leaning up to kiss him, slinging her arms around his neck.

Happy didn't disappoint and pulled her body flush against him, sliding a hand down to cup her ass while the other wound itself in her hair.

"Jesus get a room you two. As if I didn't see enough of that shit in visitation." Juice grumbled. He wished Roxy had been there to greet him, and he knew there was no chance he'd be getting a welcome home as steamy as that with her being on bed rest.

"Lighten up lad." Chibs gave him a sympathetic smile and pulled him in for a half hug. "Go and see your lady, she's waiting for you. No church today."

"Thanks, bro." Juice smiled. He gave Happy another bro hug and pecked Harley on the cheek before turning from the group.

"Oh and Juicy Boy?" He turned back to Chibs. "I suggest you don't rock up there empty handed."

Juice nodded and turned back to his bike, wondering what the fuck to get Roxy on his way to the hospital.

xxx xxx

The rest of the guys were already getting set to party despite the fact it was barely noon. The Sons would use any excuse to party and given the other charters were here for business, which was starting in the next week or so, they were happy to make good use of the clubhouse and crow eaters of the mother charter.

Happy on the other hand had better ideas for his time. He slung his arm round Harley as they entered the clubhouse and led her straight over to the bar where Rat had some shots lined up.

Harley had her arm round his waist and was teasingly stroking his side as they walked. They stopped at the bar and Happy downed three shots of tequila in quick succession before prompting Harley to do the same.

They enjoyed the raucous company of his brothers for a while and Harley loosened up. She was finally relaxed having him home and was desperate to show him how much she'd missed him.

He was leaning against the bar talking to Bowie from SAMTAC as he finished a smoke. As soon as he'd butt it out she slid closer into his side and ran her hand up the front of his kutte. Happy smirked, knowing she was getting antsy.

Then she stood up slightly and kissed his jaw before moving along to his ear.

"C'mon killer, I've been waiting weeks for this." She whispered.

Bowie snickered and downed his beer before grabbing another. "I'll leave you both to it." He turned and moved his attention to a nearby sweetbutt.

"Take me to your room." Harley demanded, but Happy was enjoying this game.

"In a minute." He wanted to see how far he could push her.

"No, now." She growled as she cupped him through his jeans.

Happy just laughed and pulled her behind him towards the dorms. He could hear a few of his brothers hooting behind them but he didn't give a shit.

As soon as he had her in the door he slammed her against it, taking her mouth with his. Harley moaned as his body pinned her to the door, this is what she'd wanted. Every part of her craved him, his body, his attention, his love. After being starved of it for three weeks she was on overdrive.

"I wanted you so bad." She breathed out as his lips left hers to assault her neck.

"Girl, you don't know what wantin' is." He cupped her breast through the thin fabric of the dress. "I'da bent you over that fucking visitation table and fucked you right in front of everyone if I could." Harley moaned, partly at his words but partly because his hand had moved and slid up her dress towards her panties. "You'd have liked that though, wouldn't you?" He'd been surprised with some of Harley's kinks, she may have been a porn producer but when he first got to know her she came across as shy and somewhat vanilla in the sack. Then he'd encouraged her and these days he never knew what to expect.

"Probably." She moaned as he pushed her panties down.

Harley pushed him back slightly so she could rip off his kutte and tshirt but he had her pinned back to the door before long.

Their kisses were rough and demanding and Happy soon wound his hand in her hair to pull her head back so he could have better access to her neck and chest. Harleys hands were all over, running down the muscles on his torso, scratching lightly over his shoulders, he couldn't keep track. She overwhelmed him in a way he'd never felt before. Something about her just intoxicated him. Sometimes it frightened him the lengths he felt he'd go to for her, to have her.

When her hands finally made it to his belt buckle he came back to reality and quickly shucked his jeans and boxers, freeing himself for Harley to grasp. He didn't want that though, he needed her, so he bent down slightly to grip under her knees and lifted her legs to wrap round his waist. He bent his knee to hold her up while he used his hands to pull down her dress, enough to free her breasts.

Gripping the underneath of her thighs once again he lifted her so she could position him to slide in. They both moaned at the sensation and it took Happy a moment to start thrusting. He'd been longer without sex, five years he'd been inside the longest, but none of the sex upon his release had felt as good as this.

He pounded into her, rocking her against the door as she moaned his name. They locked eyes for a few seconds before she pulled him against her for a kiss, their tongues slipped against one another and Harley caressed his head.

After another moment or so she drew back and cried out as she came, calling out his name. Happy attached his lips back to her nipple and tried to prolong the sensation for her. Eventually she went slightly limp against him and he knew she was done.

After another kiss he came undone, pinning her to the door with his body weight and groaning into her shoulder where he'd bit as he came.

After a couple of seconds he let her slip to the floor and she leaned back against the door with a dazed expression on her face.

"Good?" He grunted as he pulled his boxers back on.

"Very." She replied simply. She eventually found the energy to push off the door and collapsed over on his bed.

Happy pulled his shirt off and lay down next to her. "How's Ma doing?"

Harley sighed, knowing this would come up sooner or later. "She's pretty down at the moment. We'll need to go back soon, Venus was staying with her till the home nurse came by."

Happy nodded. "Shit. Dunno if I'm ready to lose her Harley."

Harley squeezed his hand. "I know babe."

xxx xxx

Juice had driven up and down Main Street for a while thinking of what the hell to get Roxy. Chibs had said not to show up empty handed but he didn't know what that meant. Was Roxy pissed at him? Or was it just a show of good faith to bring her something nice?

He figured it was the latter, well hoped, he wouldn't blame her for being pissy at him for getting locked up so close to the baby's due date.

In the end he stopped outside the little jewellers in Charming. He figured maybe if he got her something really nice it would cheer her up more than flowers. He spent a while looking at some of the displays before the young female sales assistant came to help him.

After a few minutes talking to her he had what he wanted stowed safely in his kutte pocket and made his way over to St. Thomas. After enquiring for her room he jogged up to the lift and made his way down the corridor to her private room.

He knocked on the door and practically burst through it when she said to come in.

"Juan?" She perked up and pulled herself up to sit in the bed.

"How are you?" He asked as he moved to sit over by her bed.

"Much better now." She lent over the side rail so he could kiss her, tangling his fingers in her hair. "I missed you so much." She breathed as they parted.

"Me too." It had only been a week, really, since they'd last seen each other, but it felt like forever. He remembered when she'd left him after Crystal and took of to Reno with Harley. That time without her had seemed the longest on earth, until this last week. He figured it's probably because this time he knew he had something to look forward to and didn't want to miss it.

"So what's the doctor been saying?" He asked as he stroked her hand with his thumb.

"She's gunna come by and talk to us this afternoon. Wanted to wait till you got back to set the plans."

Juice nodded. "That's good." He studied her appearance then. Despite the pale hospital gown washing her out she looked a damn sight better than she had that last visitation. "You're looking really good Rox." He slipped a hand over her stomach, which seemed to have doubled in size since he'd last seen her.

"Thanks. I've been feeling a lot better in here. They're taking good care of us. And baby is putting on more weight which is good."

He slipped his hand off her stomach as he reached into his kutte, remembering the gift. "I got something for ya." He smiled as he pulled out a little black ring box.

"You didn't need to get me anything. You being back is a good enough present."

"Yeah well... I felt bad for putting you through all that and you being alone and shit. I spoke to the girl in the shop and she said guys usually get their wives eternity rings when they have their first baby so I figured that after everything that it was fitting." He opened the box to reveal a similar band to her wedding ring. It was white gold with little diamonds on the band.

"Jesus Christ Juice! You didn't need to waste money on me!" She exclaimed as she took in the ring.

"You kinda deserve it right now." He smiled and pulled it out of the box.

Roxy happily let him slide the ring down her finger and beamed at him. It framed her engagement ring perfectly. She'd never been one to crave jewellery. That had been her Ma, who always had rocks the size of the sun on her hands. Matt had also tried to buy her affection and dress her up with jewels. Juice had always been clueless as a boyfriend and hadn't really gone with traditional gifts. But that suited Roxy just fine.

But this was special. That he'd even thought to get her something, and fair enough the sales lady obviously helped him with the idea he must have chosen the ring as it matched the wedding band he'd picked out too.

"Do you like it?" He looked at her with worried eyes.

"Of course I do." She pulled him in for a kiss and gently stroked his face with her thumbs.

Juice crawled onto the bed with her and took over the kiss. "I really missed you Rox." He breathed against her neck as he kissed down toward her chest.

"I know." Her breath hitched as he nipped her collarbone. "But J, we can't right now." She pushed him back gently.

He groaned and pulled back and sat next to her on the bed. "I know. Just can't help it." He smiled cheekily.

"Even though I look like this?" She gestured to the basketball lump under the sheet. She knew she'd gained some weight back in the week she'd been in hospital too. She'd lost loads while pregnant and had been starting to look gaunt. But Juice was happy to see her looking a bit fuller again.

"Always."

Some nurses popped in not long after to check her stats and were happy with the readings. A little while later lunch came round and Juice ran down to the cafeteria to grab something for himself and some fries for Roxy.

They spent the next couple of hours enjoying each other's company again as they waited for Dr. Warner to come on rounds so they could discuss the next step.

Juice went out for a smoke and when he got back she finally arrived and Juice was practically vibrating with excitement knowing the baby would be coming soon.

Dr. Warner explained the process of the c section and who all would be in the room with them. Tara had offered previously to be the doctor for the baby and seeing as there would be no surgery involved Dr. Warner happily agreed knowing Tara was more than capable.

Then they set a date for early next week. Juice was thrilled but Roxy was anxious as hell. She'd have been having the baby a week after anyway but that seemed so much further away and less daunting.

"It will all be fine Roxy. You know us all, Tara will be in there and we'll really look after you." Dr. Warner assured.

"I know. It's just scary."

"A lot of women feel the same. But then they see the baby and everything is forgotten. I promise you that." Roxy nodded and Dr. Warner smiled. "Well unless you have any other questions I'll leave you to it."

"No that's fine."

"Ok. Well you can get up for a shower now if you like, I'll send the nurse in to help you up." That had been embarrassing for Roxy at first. They insisted on having a nurse help her to and from the shower, despite the fact she'd been fine going to the toilet by herself. They were just worried in case she had a fall in there.

"It's ok. I'll keep an eye on her." Juice offered.

"Ok then. I'll leave you to it. The nurses will be by with dinner soon and unfortunately Juan you will have to leave come 8pm."

Juice's heart sunk then, he didn't think he was going to be kicked out, he'd just assumed he'd be allowed to stay. Dr. Warner took her leave and left them to it.

"Sucks I can't stay tonight." He frowned.

"It's ok. You wouldn't get a good night's sleep anyways. I can barely sleep in this bed let alone with you in it too. Plus I heard there's a party at the clubhouse for your release. So you should at least show your face there." She moved to get up for her shower and Juice stood to help her up.

"I don't want to party though." He smirked devilishly then. "Only party I wanna have is with you." He winked.

"Well maybe if you help me to the shower we can have a little party in there."

He chuckled and helped her up, letting her steady herself on her feet before letting her hands go. She tugged his hand as she moved toward the private bathroom, so glad they had some privacy for this. She really had missed him and there was no way she was letting him go down the clubhouse for a party all pent up from a few weeks in jail.

Once they were in the bathroom she locked the door and turned the hot water on, letting it bounce off her hand as she tested the temperature. When she was happy with it she turned back to him and pulled him in for a kiss. Juice obliged and soon enough their kisses were hot and heavy as the shower slowly steamed up the room.

Roxy started pulling his clothes off and throwing them to the counter top on the other side of the room.

"Sure we should be doing this?" He husked against her neck.

"What they don't know won't hurt 'em." She tugged at his belt buckle while he kicked off his boots.

Juice pulled back to step out of his jeans and boxers and watched as Roxy pulled off the white nightgown, revealing her naked chest and white panties. She slowly slid them down and kicked them to the side before stepping into the shower cubicle.

Luckily it was a large shower area with enough room for a shelf and seat for those that needed it. Juice didn't really think much else before he was under the warm jets with Roxy in his arms.

He moaned as Roxy's hands slid down his body, caressing and dancing along his skin. Soon enough Roxy could feel him against her body and it was her turn to moan as he kissed down to her chest, kneading her breast softly in his hand.

After a couple more minutes Juice knew he wouldn't last much longer, especially when Roxy started stroking him. "How do you wanna do this?" He almost panted.

Roxy turned round and braced herself against the shelf and pulled Juice's arms round her. She could feel his chest glide against her back and she lifted an arm up to pull his head down to kiss her.

Without any further instruction Juice slid into her and it felt amazing. They both moaned in unison at the feeling and when Juice started to thrust slowly inside her she grasped at the shelf for support.

Juice bent down and kissed her shoulders and her neck and she moaned his name softly, before sliding his hand round to help her along. When she finally cried out his name he sped up his thrusts before he joined her.

Finally they untangled thenselves from each other and stood in the spray of the shower, Juice pulling her softly against him, as best he could around the bump.

"Mmmm I love you." She hummed against his chest.

"Love you too." He squeezed her. "Maybe we should get out before we use all the hot water though. Roxy nodded and he stepped out while she washed herself with the soap Harley had brought her from home. Juice dried and redressed himself and held a towel out for her when she was done.

She'd forgotten to bring a spare change of clothes into the shower with her so Juice checked the coast was clear before letting her into the room to dress.

"Oh shit." Roxy said as she pulled another tshirt style night gown out of her bag.

"What?" Juice looked at her, alarmed.

"They brought dinner in while we were in there." She gestured to the plate on her table.

Juice snickered but Roxy threw her damp towel at him. "Not funny, that's so embarrassing! What if they heard us?" She moaned as she made her way back to bed.

"I'm sure they didn't. Plus if they did I'm sure they've heard worse." He laughed as he helped her into bed.

"Not funny Juan Carlos. I have to live here."

Juice still thought it was funny, until he went to the party later and Tig slapped him upside the head. Turns out he and Venus had gone to visit and copped an earful right after the nurse left from dropping off the food.

Wasn't so funny then.

 **xxx xxx**

 **Let me know what you think, I cringe so hard writing smut but people had asked for some Happy/Harley action and I just couldn't leave Juice and Roxy out either.**


	128. Chapter 128

**A/N: thank you all for the response recently! It's been fantastic.**

 ** _AngR, Lennon, Melyloop, and docsangel_ thank you for your reviews once again! And _nelle_ it's great to hear from a new reader! Love you all!**

 **Anyways here's the one you've all been waiting on. Hope it's not shit and that it'll live up to your expectations!**

 **Let me know what you think!**

 **xxx xxx**

Happy and Harley figured they best go see his Ma before the party got underway. So they hopped on his bike, leaving Harley's caddy in the lot and made their way back to his house. Harley had been on plenty of bikes growing up around the club. First with her father then with Tig and the others, Jax and Opie even from time to time, and of course with the odd club member she'd been with through the years but she _loved_ riding on the back of Happy's bike. It made her feel like a queen, riding bitch on his bike while people stopped and stared down Main Street.

She always found it amusing how intimidated people were by him, sure she felt intimidated from time to time but that was probably more from sexual energy than the thought he was dangerous. But the general public didn't see it that way. Hell his brothers were even scared by him.

When they pulled up at the house Happy tensed. He didn't know what to expect when they went inside. He knew she was very sick and he didn't know if he was ready to face that.

"You ok Killer?" Harley asked as she dismounted gracefully, despite the dress and heels.

He cleared his throat and took off his helmet before answering. "She's pretty sick, huh?"

"Yeah, but she'll be very happy to see you." She smiled softly. "Come on, let's not stand out here all day." She tugged on his hand and he swung his leg over his bike and followed her up the steps.

As they got closer to the door he could hear his ma's croaky laugh through the open window. _That was a good sig_ n he thought.

Venus had been there keeping Mari company while they waited for the couple to get back and stood to leave as they entered, going to collect her things so the family could catch up.

" _Mijo!_ I'm so happy to see you!" Mari called from her chair. She attempted to stand but Happy rushed over to her in time to stop her.

Pressing a kiss to his mother's cheek he gently pushed her back into the plush chair. "Don't get up Ma."

"I am so happy you're well." She squeezed his hand. "You're not going back in?"

"No. Was a misunderstanding. All sorted now." He smiled down at her.

Harley let Venus out and thanked her profusely for coming and sitting with Mari. Though Venus didn't mind. She loved taking care of people and Mari got a kick out of Venus. They both shared the same wicked sense of humour.

Just as she locked up and was going to sort some drinks her phone started ringing, the name Roxy flashing on the screen along with a bunch of silly emojis.

"Hey Rox! Have a happy reunion with Juicy Boy?" She laughed into the phone.

" _Surprisingly yes. Who knew hospital showers could be so much fun."_ Roxy giggled down the phone.

"Oh my god Rox. Too much information."

" _Please. That dulls in comparison to the shit you tell me on a daily basis."_

Harley laughed again, drawing the attention of Mari and Happy. "What's up anyway? Surely you didn't just call to give me the blow by blow?"

 _"No I didn't. We have a date for the baby!"_

Harley squealed. "Yes! When is my little niece or nephew making their appearance then?"

" _Monday! Juan is over the moon. As am I. I'll be glad to be out of here."_

"Yes! I'm so happy for you babe. I'll be there all day for you. Means I've only got the weekend to buy more shit for ya. I best get ready."

" _Don't go overboard. We can go together with the baby if you like? Get some boy or girl things when we know."_

Can't wait! Listen I better go, we're just at home now but I'll come by and see you in the morning."

" _Ok."_ Roxy sighed. " _Just watch out for Juice at the party tonight._ "

"Why? He's gonna behave." Harley scowled. He better.

" _Of course. Just don't let him get too drunk. He's all happy and I don't want him hungover in here tomorrow. We got shit to plan."_

Ok. Leave it with me. I'll see you in the morning."

They hung up and Harley turned back to Happy and Mari's questioning looks. "We're having a baby on Monday!" She fist pumped. "She's all booked in and ready to go."

"What wonderful news _querida_." Mari smiled softly. She squeezed Happy's hand looking knowingly at her son. Mari watched Harley happily stroll off to the kitchen to fix drinks and some early tea before turning her gaze back to Happy. "When will you two have a baby?" She questioned. She knew she didn't have long left and most likely would never meet her grandkids. But she still wanted to see Happy, happy.

Happy scowled. "Don't think we will." He grunted before standing from his perch on the arm of her chair and sitting on the sofa next to her.

Mari tutted. "She wants a family, I can tell _mijo_." She smiled at him. "I think you do to."

Happy rolled his eyes. "You a mind reader now?"

"No. And don't sass me boy. You're never too old for me to take over my knee." She glared. "Just don't be scared of it. You both deserve happiness."

"And we _are_ happy as it is. Don't go meddling in shit."

Mari frowned and turned her attention to the crossword that had been sitting on her side table. "At least make an honest woman of her before I'm in the ground."

Happy groaned. "Leave it." He said, without a doubt it was an order.

Mari just frowned again and ignored her son. "Well whatever you do don't stuff this up. The last thing I want is for you to join me in dying old and lonely. At least I have you by my side, you mess this up and you'll have no one."

Happy decided to get up and leave his Ma to it. He made his way to the front porch and sat on the steps to light a smoke.

He and Harley had talked briefly about these things. But at the end of the day she'd always said she'd be happy going with what he wanted. She'd told him she was undecided on kids. He had still only just laid to rest the memory of Ariana and their baby, he didn't want to have the issue forced on him with Harley when this was all still so new.

xxx xxx

"I'm gunna be a dad on Monday!" Juice shouted as the party started that night. Everyone cheering and ordering shots to celebrate.

He was well on his way to wasted when Happy and Harley arrived late, having waited for Elyda to bring over Abel and Thomas so she could sit with Mari. And of course by this stage Harley had her work cut out for her in keeping Juice in line. He was, as Roxy had warned her, over the moon and sharing his joy with everyone around and in turn sharing drinks.

They joined him at the bar and Happy slung an arm over Harley's shoulders possesivly as he ordered them drinks. Tig took this opportunity to slap Juice upside the head when he was otherwise occupied.

"I shouldn't have to hear that shit when I go to check in on my girl. Scarred me for life." He growled at Juice.

"Ha!" Chibs barked out. "That girl has heard more from you, or about you, over the years to scar her for eternity. Let the lad alone. He'd been inside for weeks, needed to enjoy himself." He cackled. "Though I don't know how you managed it meself."

"They have good showers." Was all Juice replied before laughing himself and pounding back another shot.

Tig glared at him but turned back around to Venus when she tutted in his ear. "Come now Alexander, you can't deny the kids their fun."

He relented after that and let the party get underway. Happy enjoyed the rush of being back at the clubhouse surrounded by his brothers and girl under his arm. But after a while he let his mind stew over his ma's words from that afternoon.

He looked around at the Sons gathered for the party, knowing they had work to pull off in the coming fortnight. He'd never be alone with them in his life. But then he realised just how few of them had known the love of a good woman. Or those who had known the love of a good woman and lost it. He didn't want to be one of them, but why was he so reluctant in moving forward?

He didn't miss the bachelor lifestyle, the endless, faceless stream of women there to please his every need. He'd been there and done that. Plus he knew Harley was open minded when it came to sex and their relationship. She'd already told him she didn't care if he engaged in on-the-road activities. He'd been the one to set the standard of fidelity there. She'd never asked him to do anything except love her. And he did.

So why was it so hard to come to terms with that and man up?

xxx xxx

Juice had been hungover on Saturday, despite Harley's best efforts, and had copped an earful from Roxy before she promptly burst into tears. At first he'd thought she thought he'd had a little too much fun with sweetbutts or something but then he realised she was just hormonal, tired, stressed, scared, and jealous of missing out on the fun.

It had taken him a long time to calm her down and lucky for him they had an appointment with the counsellor that afternoon. They provided the appointment for some pre birth counselling, knowing that the procedure could be scary, and the baby could face some health issues on delivery being slightly premature, compounded by the trauma of losing Gabriel. They also knew it to be risky for her emotionally knowing her recent trauma at the hands of Lin and Dr. Warner wanted to prepare Roxy for the turbulence of the birth. It was scary lying on a table, curtain over your body, paralysed from the chest down knowing that people were down there operating on you. It made any woman feel vulnerable but with Roxy's history the doctor had wanted to prepare her and Juice for that reality.

This freaked Juice out, having not even considered that possibility. And since then he'd been attentive to her every, ever changing, need.

But today was the day and they'd be prepared as they'd ever be. Tig, Harley, Venus, and Chibs had accompanied Juice to the hospital that morning and they all sat with Roxy as she was prepared to be taken to the OR.

Juice was jittery with nerves but beamed at Roxy every time she glanced in his direction. His excitement was calming Roxy, drilling it into her that this, albeit scary, time was a happy one.

"Ok Juan Carlos, time for you to scrub up while we take Roxy in for the epidural and prep." One of the midwives came in to the room. "The rest of you will have to wait in the waiting room I'm afraid. I expect we'll bring news of the baby within the hour. The baby and Juan will go to the nursery while we take Roxy to recovery. I expect you'll be able to go back and see her a couple of hours after that." She smiled.

"This is it kid!" Tig planted a kiss on her forehead. "You'll do great doll, I'll be back to see you as soon as they let me." He kissed her again and squeezed her hand before clapping Juice on the back on his departure.

Chibs followed after similar words of comfort to Roxy and an extended bro hug with Juice.

Harley was last to leave after Venus had hugged and kissed Roxy. She had tears in her eyes as she hugged her best friend, glad that she was finally getting her happy ending.

"I love you Roxy." She kissed her cheek. "I'll see you soon mama!"

Once the room was quiet the nurse left to go and get Juice his scrubs and tell the transport team Roxy was ready, allowing the couple their last moment in private. Just the two of them.

Juice sat on the bed next to her and stroked over her stomach with his right hand. "This is it then, I guess."

"I guess it is Juan." Roxy squeezed his leg that rested closest to her. "I'm pretty scared." She admitted.

"You'll be fine. Tara will be there while they prep and I'll be in there as soon as they let me." He said softly.

Roxy nodded slowly. "Love you." She whispered.

"Love you too." He bent down and kissed her gently, cupping her cheek with his free hand.

After a few moments a nurse cleared her throat at the door and Juice pulled back. "I'll see you in there." He smiled softly and made his way to the door where a midwife ushered him off to get scrubbed up.

The transport team set about moving Roxy onto the transport bed and disconnecting her from the monitoring machines. When Juice was gone and they started wheeling her towards the OR the tears started in earnest. She was petrified of what would happen and the people around her that she didn't know.

But when they wheeled her into the theatre there was calming music and Tara was standing next to the bed chatting with the anaesthesiologist, she turned to smile at Roxy as soon as she entered.

"Excited?" She beamed at Roxy.

"Petrified." Roxy said huskily. She'd already started shaking and nothing had even happened yet.

"It's going to be just fine Roxy." Tara took her hand as the team helped her onto the operating table. "You'll have your baby in a few minutes." Tara smiled comfortingly.

"Ok, Roxy I'll need you to sit on the edge of the bed and hunch your back like we practiced. Tara will help you." The anaesthetist said. Roxy had met him a few times during their consults over the weekend and was comfortable enough. She shifted into the position and Tara stroked her hands comfortingly. "Just the local anaesthetic first." He said as he injected her back and within a few minutes she was lying back on the bed as the sensations to the lower part of her body slowly numbed.

They'd agreed to let Juice in before they did much else, knowing Roxy would be uncomfortable having people touching her.

Juice bounded into the room with the midwife, looking ridiculous in the blue hospital scrubs, hair net over his hair. Roxy let out a nervous laugh as he approached.

"You look hilarious JC." She commented as he took a seat next to her head.

Juice kept her distracted, eyes on hers as they put up the curtain and made a start. "Think I coulda done without the hair net. Especially if she's taking photos." He commented looking at Tara, who right enough was snapping away.

Roxy was very teary as the team made a start, but they were great at explaining everything to them as they moved like a well oiled machine. Though before long Roxy started panicking. There were a lot of people in the room but she couldn't see most of them thanks to the screen and it made her feel pretty helpless.

"Roxy you need to breathe." Tara commented as Roxy started hyperventilating.

Roxy shook her head back and forth as the panic attack set in and Juice tried to calm her. Luckily the anaesthetist was prepared for this and had some sedation meds ready just in case. They usually didn't like using them but given Roxy's heart condition they made an exception.

"Just going to push this through Roxy then you'll feel a lot calmer." He said as he pushed something into her IV line.

"It's ok baby, I got you." Juice murmured against her ear. After a few seconds Roxy's eyes glazed over and she calmed right down.

She felt fantastic and giggled at Juice as the hair net bounced over his head. She felt some pressure down below but didn't give it much thought until Juice's eyes left hers.

"We have a boy!" Dr. Warner called out.

Then it was a flurry of activity, which Roxy had a hard time keeping up with. Tara had left their side, passing the camera off to a midwife as she made her way to the baby.

"What's happening Juicy?" She asked, speech slurred.

Juice looked worried as he peeked his head round to see the baby. They had him on a little table and were doing stuff to him to help him breathe while Roxy's doctors were patching her up.

"They're just helping him out a bit." He said to her, squeezing her hand but unable to take his eyes off the team with their son.

Roxy's mind was blurry but she knew something wasn't right, it was taking a long time for her to see the baby and she wanted him.

Thankfully it wasn't much longer until the little boy gave his first cry and Juice visibly relaxed, tears in his eyes as he heard the high pitched wails coming from his son. Roxy wanted to sit up and see too but couldn't move so she tugged on Juice's hand. He snapped his eyes down to hers as he let a few tears go.

"He's perfect Rox!"

"I wanna see!" She demanded quietly.

Tara came bustling over then with the little boy, wrapped in a blanket. "Here's your son guys." She said with tears in her eyes too as she presented her sister in law with the little bundle.

Roxy raised a hand to shakily sweep over his flash of jet black hair and Juice bent over to kiss her head. "He's so small." Roxy commented when she looked him over.

"He's ok. Just being a few weeks early combined with the blood pressure complications he's a bit on the small side." She said as she handed him to Juice for the first cuddle. "We'll need to take him to the nursery soon and just make sure he's ok. His breathing isn't quite right but you can have a quick cuddle." Tara stood back to let the couple have their moment, wiping a tear from her eye as she watched them cry tears of joy over their son.

xxx xxx

"It's a boy!" Juice cheered as he entered the waiting room.

There were hoots and hollers as most of SAMCRO had assembled over the course of the morning.

Juice had accompanied the baby to the nursery as Roxy was taken through to recovery, drugged up enough to keep her happy in his absence.

Harley jumped for joy and ran to kiss Juice's cheek as she hugged him. "Oh well done Juice! Can I go see her?"

"Yeah of course. She's back there." He gestured behind him as the others came forward to congratulate him. Happy slapped him on the back as Chibs pulled him in for a hug, Quinn, TO, Rat, and Montez followed on with the hugs before Jax finally got his chance to step in.

"Give her my love brother." Jax offered him a hug, the first in a long time. "I'll go up and see her later, gonna go find Tara and leave you guys to it for a bit."

"Thanks brother, she'll like to see you." Juice smiled.

This left Tig and Venus till last.

"Well done Juicer. We got a name?" Tig asked.

"Roxy wants to tell you, come on." Juice gestured for him to follow.

Juice thanked everyone and made his way back to the room with Tig and Venus. Harley was already there sitting with Roxy as she showed her pictures of the baby. He was still in the nursery but Tara had said he'd be well enough by morning to be released.

Roxy was coming down now and was just really tired. After this visit she was to sleep off the drug grogginess and she could go visit the baby. But she had to share it with her nearest and dearest first. Especially Tig.

Tig was immediately at her side and took one look at the little dark haired baby on the screen and gave her a kiss on the forehead. "Knew you could do it baby girl."

Roxy thanked him and he showed Venus the picture before sitting on one of the chairs and allowing Juice to rest at her side.

"So, name?" Harley asked, she'd been pestering Roxy as they waited for Tig and Venus to come.

"Well, Juan wanted to name him after his grandfather, the only real father figure he had. Then I thought about my real father figure and we decided. Carlos Alexander Ortiz." She smiled at Tig.

Venus claimed how lovely it was and squeeze Tig's shoulder, he was speechless. He'd never imagined either of his daughters would name a child after him. Fawn, and the late Dawn, had grown to despise him over the years, mostly his fault. But Roxy had been his surrogate daughter and clearly he'd been her surrogate father.

"I hope you don't mind Tig. Only Carlos was JC's grandfather who passed when he was little, and he'd been very important to him. And... well you've always been there for me. More than Clay ever was. And I love my dad, truly I do, but this honour should really go to you."

Tig cleared his throat, overcome with emotion as he looked briefly to Juice who was smiling down at Roxy, before snapping them back to Roxy's eager face. "I- I love it. Thank you babydoll. Really- I don't know what to say." He turned to Juice. "Thank you brother." He moved to shake Juice's hand but Juice pulled him in for a hug.

"Of course brother."

"Well when can I see little Carlos?" Harley begged.

Juice rolled his eyes, who knew Harley would turn out to be so clucky. "Come on, I'll take you down to the nursery viewing window." He turned back to Tig and Venus. "Wanna come?"

Venus eyed Tig and smiled. "I'll come, Alexander have a moment with Roxy and I'll come take you after."

Tig smiled and kissed her cheek as she left with an excited Juice and Harley before turning back to Roxy. "I'm so proud of you kid." Roxy tried to interrupt him. "Nah lemme finish. I'm only saying this now coz you're high and I figure you'll forget by morning. You've had a rough fucking life, nothing rougher than this last year. But you and Juicy? You've come through it better people. You've come through it a better person. I just want you to know how proud I am of you, how proud your dad must be and your Ma. I know this isn't the way you wanted your family to turn out, but I always got your back kid and I'll always be your family."

"Thanks Tiggy." Roxy smiled through her tears, who knew what an emotional day this would be, her hormones were everywhere. "And I'm yours, as far as I'm concerned your Carlos' gramps. And I wouldn't change that for the world."

xxx xxx

Juice hung around at the viewing window with Harley and Venus went back to retrieve Tig. They'd been taking millions of photos through the window before Tara called for Juice to come in and pick up Carlos. He was attached to a few monitors but he was well enough for cuddles.

Juice had held Abel and Thomas before but both had been robust older babies when he'd had the opportunity. But Carlos was new and fragile. Plus he was tiny. Only 2.1kg, he was the size of a football and not much heavier. Tara had to calm him and help him with the posture while she placed the precious bundle in his arms.

As he looked into his son's dark eyes he could feel the swell of love crash through his system and knew what people meant by love at first sight. This little child was his responsibility. Carlos and Roxy were his world now and he had to do everything he could to provide for and protect them. He made a vow then that he'd be the best dad he could ever be, he promised Roxy the world once upon a time and he promised it now to Carlos too.

After another private moment Juice had angled himself so Harley and Venus could get a better look and they took another hundred photos of their first proper cuddle. But before long he'd started to get cold again so he reluctantly place him back in his warmed crib so he could heat up some more and made his way back out to the girls. Harley couldn't stop gushing about him and Venus decided to go back so Tig could come see the baby. Someone had to sit with Roxy seeing as Juice couldn't see to keep his eyes off his son.

Harley bumped shoulders with him. "Whatcha thinkin bout Juicy?" She asked softly.

Juice shrugged. "Just how lucky I am."

"That you are. You got yourself a nice little family here Juice. You deserve it."

"S'pose I do." He sighed. "Just hope it goes a damn sight better than my family did."

"Course it will. You're dedicated to Roxy and your little boy. I saw the look on your face in there. Eternal love baby." She smiled up at him. "Plus, no one round here has decent family role models so I'm sure no one will hold your indiscretions against you. Least of all Roxy."

"Hope you're right." He smiled back before turning to look at Carlos again. "I'll treat them a lot better than Clay did, I know that much."

"I should hope so. Mind you I'm sure Gemma was as much at fault with that as he was." She considered.

"Maybe." He still felt a bit twisted up at that part of their lives. It felt so long ago now but Clay had been fatherlike to him, despite how he treated Roxy and the whole Nomad thing, then Gemma had looked after him, mothered him, hidden him at his time of need, even if it was out of a need to save her own hide.

Harley left it quiet for a moment. "You guys think any more about texting Gemma about the baby?"

Juice sighed lengthily. "Roxy swings on it day after day. Yesterday she was a firm no. But maybe she'll think differently in the morning."

"Wonder if she'd ever be allowed to visit."

Juice shook his head. "No, no way. Too much hurt there. No way Jax would ever call off her excommunication. But maybe we could go visit." He shrugged. "Maybe. See how it goes. Roxy might decide she needs her help."

"I've heard motherhood changes you-" Harley snickered. "- but I doubt it'll change things that much." Harley patted him on the arm as she turned to face Tig and Venus as they walked down the hall.

"Jackson came up to visit with her for a moment, however he had to go and fetch his boys. Roxanna was asking for you but then she fell asleep." Venus announced as they arrived.

"I'll head up there then. Thanks for coming guys." He smiled at the three of them.

"Of course we'd be here Juice." Harley assured.

Juice smiled as he walked back to Roxy's room. Finally happy they were cemented in their family. He closed the door to Roxy's room quietly. She was sleeping soundly in the bed, her hair lying in tendrils around her face, phone open to a photo of the three of them in the OR lying next to her hand on the bed.

Juice smiled and locked the phone before placing it on the bedside table and leaning down to kiss her. He knew he had work to do with the club in the coming weeks, he just hoped it didn't interfere with their family time too much.

 **xxx xxx**

 **A/N: So** **I've never had a c section but was heavily prepared for the prospect of one with my first baby earlier this year and I was petrified! Thankfully I didn't end up needing one, it's in my opinion tougher and scarier than "natural birth" so I'm glad I avoided it. Anyways hopefully I wrote it well and it comes off ok :)**


	129. Chapter 129

**A/N: thanks as always for the support!**

 **Bit of filler before we move on to the next part. Let me know if there's anything you'd like to see more of.**

 **Thanks to _AngR_ , _Nelle,_ and _Lennon_ for your reviews on the last chapter and _Eowyn_ for when you catch up hehe. **

**As always read, enjoy, and let me know what you think!**

 **xxx xxx**

Juice had been up all night going between Roxy's room and the nursery. He'd gone with Roxy just after dinner to see Carlos seeing as she was well enough to go down in the wheelchair. But she'd gotten tired fair quickly after she'd cuddled him so they took her back to her room with strict instructions to sleep.

Juice was worried about Roxy's recovery, her appointment with the cardiologist in the morning, and of course Carlos's treatments. The baby was fine really but Juice had never experienced this level of responsibility before and didn't want to let Carlos out of his sight for a second.

So he'd spent the night going up and down the corridor between Roxy's room and the nursery. Roxy had been out cold the whole night. She was exhausted, and rightfully so, it had been an emotional and stressful day.

Some time around dawn, however, Roxy woke up to find Juice passed out in the chair next to her bed. She smiled softly at his sleeping form, he looked exhausted but happy. She just hoped it wouldn't be too hard on him and weigh on his anxiety. Luckily he'd been cleared to go back on his meds over the weekend. His doctor wasn't best pleased that he'd stopped for those weeks in jail as it could mess up his system. But Roxy had hope. He'd been so much better before and hopefully would continue to be now the prison issue was behind them. What Roxy didn't know was the upcoming club business that Juice would no doubt play a part in.

Juice stirred when the nurse came in for morning rounds to check on Roxy who was needing some pain relief now she was off the epidural. They'd dosed her up before bed but now it felt like her whole stomach was on fire. She didn't remember feeling this sore after Gabriel but maybe that was because her emotional pain had drowned it out in her mind.

"You ok baby? Why didn't you wake me? I'd have gotten someone for you." Juice muttered sleepily as he sat up.

"I'm fine, really. I have a button to the nurse's station anyway so stop stressing." Roxy smiled.

"She's doing fine Mr. Ortiz. I just came to check in." The midwife said softly. "How did you sleep last night?" She turned her full attention to Roxy now.

"Like a log."

"That's good." The nurse checked a few things like blood pressure and heart rate before giving Roxy some painkillers to swallow.

"When can I see Carlos?" She asked brightly.

"I can take you to see him now if you like, before breakfast? That's if you can pry him off the nurses long enough. He seems to be quite the little charmer in there." She grinned.

"So is his father." Roxy smirked at Juice and the nurse laughed.

"I'll just go grab a wheelchair."

The nurse pushed Roxy down to the nursery while Juice bounded along beside them like a happy puppy.

"He's been doing so well Rox. I even fed him twice last night." He announced excitedly as they got to the door of the nursery.

Roxy smiled as she watched him open the door for her. "Well done. You're more experienced than I am then."

"It's ok, I'll teach ya babe." He winked and moved across to Carlos' little crib and started speaking to the nurse there.

Roxy's nurse smiled as she manoeuvred her over to Carlos. "He's probably the most enthusiastic dad I've seen."

"He's the most enthusiastic person in general." Roxy laughed as she watched him pick up their son and instantly croon over him.

"He's a natural." The nurse said to Roxy as she parked her up. "I'll be back in 5. Your appointment is soon."

Juice stepped forward with Carlos and carefully placed him in Roxy's outstretched arms.

"Gosh he's even cuter than he was last night." Roxy stroked Carlos' hair, just as she did when she first saw him, and as she did last night.

Now she was more with it she really took the time to take in his features. He had small ears, just like Juice, big brown eyes, a little nose like Roxy's, big full lips, tiny little hands, and a fair fluff of dark hair covering his little head. His skin was the same tone as Juice's, though slightly lighter, giving off a beautiful golden sheen.

Roxy nuzzled him and inhaled the sweet smell of talc and baby, but also the faint hint of Juice's aftershave that clung to the baby's skin. As Roxy kissed the little boy's head she couldn't help but shed a quick tear over the lost baby she never had a chance to love like this.

"Hey, hey sweetheart. Why you crying?" Juice immediately knelt beside her.

"I dunno, just hormonal I guess." She kissed Juice's cheek softly. "Just sad we never got to do this for Gabriel. That he never got to know our love like Carlos does." She let a few more tears slip as she looked down at the now sleeping baby.

"Oh babe, he knew your love." Juice couldn't help but smile slightly at Roxy's concern. She must definitely be hormonal if she was being so emotional in the open. "Plus Carlos has a guardian angel now, and I'm sure he'll need it growing up round here."

"I guess you're right there." She noticed the nurse coming back for her and took the opportunity to kiss Carlos while she could. "I'll be back later sweet boy." She whispered before handing him over to the nursery nurse.

"Won't need to come back later Mrs. Ortiz. Little Carlos here should be discharged to your ward by lunchtime."

Roxy turned to look at Juice who was beaming down at her. Finally they'd all be together as a family.

xxx xxx

"Fuck yes, Harley. Keep goin!" Happy grunted as he tugged on Harley's wet hair. He had her on her knees in the shower, one of his favourite past times.

Harley took him in as deep as she could and held it as she sucked around him before releasing and stroking him with the hand she had wrapped around his base. She looked up at him through her eyelashes before slipping her tongue along his tip.

"Fuck you're gunna kill me. You look so fuckin hot with my dick in your mouth." He let her bob her head a few more times before he'd had enough and pulled her up and turned her round to press her breasts against the wall.

He angled her hips towards him as Harley's fingertips tried to find purchase on the slippery tiles. Happy pushed into her and groaned at the sensation as she tightened around him.

"Shit Hap." Harley breathed out as he started pounding into her, his pace deep and strong.

Harley pushed back against him and her moans grew louder as she started to let herself go to him. They'd taken to having morning sex in the shower so Mari wouldn't clue in to what they were doing. But Happy had to cover her hand with his mouth, worried she was getting too loud.

"I know I feel so good fuckin you, girl, but you gotta keep it quiet." He grunted against her ear.

His words didn't quiet her, the sensation of his hand gripping her chin as it muffled her moans just turned her on more. She came after just a few more thrusts, the feeling of her getting off on him made Happy spill his load just a few seconds later.

He slid out of her and leaned back on the other side of the shower allowing Harley a second to rinse herself in the water. Harley twisted her hair into a bun before leaning against him, Happy wrapping his arms around her.

"That was so good." She hummed contentedly against his chest.

"You're telling me." He stroked her wet back as the shower continued to beat down. "Though we should probably get a move on 'fore Ma cottons on, what with all the moaning you did."

She smacked his shoulder playfully as she pulled away. "Not my fault you're _so_ good." She ran her hand down his chest but he caught it just before it could sweep below his navel.

"Ah-ah you horny bitch. It's breakfast time." He smacked her on the ass none too gently as he hopped out the shower and left her to throw the face cloth at him.

Harley eventually made it out to the kitchen and made a start on breakfast, she'd dressed in simple skinny jeans and a flowing black, open cut, lacy blouse which highlighted her very ample cleavage and immediately drew Happy's eyes.

"Up here killer." She clicked her fingers near his face but Happy didn't take any notice and pushed her back into the kitchen counter before lowering his head into her cleavage to nip on the tanned skin not covered by her bra.

It was then she heard the sound of Mari's feeble attempt at clearing her throat. She spotted her in the archway into the kitchen and immediately pushed Happy's head away.

"Oh don't stop on my account. I just wanted some juice before I headed back to bed." She smirked at the embarrassed look on Harley's face compared to the nonchalant look on her son's. She'd caught him in far worse predicaments than that over the years.

"Sorry Mari-" Mari tsked at Harley's use of her name instead of Ma- "Ma, I'm making some breakfast if you're hungry." Harley offered.

"Oh no _querida_ , but thank you. I don't think I could manage anything right now." She coughed as she opened the fridge.

Harley sent Happy a look before speaking again. "Let Happy take you back to bed and I'll bring through some things. We have to head to work soon but the nurse and Venus will be round and Elyda's offered to pop by with some _medicinal_ brownies later." Harley shooed Happy to help her.

Mari scoffed over the fuss but allowed Happy to take her by the arm, Happy immediately recognising how ill she must be feeling if she was accepting the help offered. Marisol Lowman was an infamously stubborn woman, a trait which had passed on to Happy, and throughout her entire illness she'd refused help or pity. But these days she was becoming more reliant on her son and his girlfriend. Something she hated but had come to accept.

Harley set Mari up with some yogurt and apple slices along with some water, tea, and her medicines before the nurse arrived. Harley gave the nurse a run down of last night and the morning and any issues she'd noticed before taking her leave. Happy watched her care for his mother with such practiced ease and it made him thankful that he had someone in his life that would help like this. Harley had more than picked up the slack while he was inside and seeing Harley do these things for his Ma just cemented his feelings for her.

xxx xxx

When they arrived at RedWoody, Happy parking his bike with his brothers while Harley parked her car next to Lyla's in the 'Director' spot, he gave her quick kiss and patted her ass to send her on her way while he went in to meet the club. They'd decided to hold a quick meeting at RedWoody before heading out to meet some informant of theirs.

Chibs sat at the head of the table in the room that had once been a temporary home to them, he surveyed his brothers with a serious gaze. All were there today except Juice who was taking Roxy and the baby home.

He waited until they were all seated before calling order to the meeting. "Just a quick one lads. Juice found us a recent ex-patch from the Iron Devils. He was booted out for some misdemeanour reason but was stripped nonetheless. He believes we could make this fella talk and give up some locations." Chibs turned to look at Happy. "In the mood to play?"

Happy answered with a smirk. "I'm always ready to play."

"Good. We wanna get in and out quickly, find out what we can then be back in time for the BBQ at Juice's later." Everyone nodded their agreement before Chibs divulged the location and game plan. "Ok Hap, Quinn, Tig, Jax, and TO we ride, Montez and Rat I want you in the truck. Let's go summon us a devil."

xxx xxx

Happy had a great time practicing his skills that afternoon and had thankfully secured them some solid locations before he finally ended the poor guy's misery.

Happy knew not many of his brothers had the stomach to do what he did. As it was Chibs, Quinn, and Tig were the only ones in the room as he extracted the information the best way he knew how. And even Chibs had had to step out at one point.

But Happy didn't mind. He found a calming focus in what he did. Everything he did was for the club, his family, and so he had no guilt in the pain he inflicted on others. The part of his brain that should have been repulsed by the torture had been switched off a long time ago. The trauma he suffered at his father's hands, watching his mother go through the same and worse, combined with the hurt of losing Ariana like he did had just made him give up his humanity. And it didn't phase him one bit. In fact he enjoyed it.

Now they had what they needed and they could really end this shit once and for all. Cement the Sons' position in the world. SAMCRO may have gone legit but they still pulled the strings in Cali. They needed to remain as they were with the Niners and the Mayans. Otherwise they could find themselves in a sticky situation with no way out. The Devils were messing with the delicate balance of power the three leading outlaw groups had struck and they didn't need that. Not now.

Happy sighed as he got off his bike at RedWoody. He was wound up and in need of a release. He just hoped his _release_ wasn't too busy. Maybe she'd be editing and they could watch some scenes together.

Or he could just take her against the bar like he really wanted. Decisions decisions.

xxx xxx

Juice had driven cautiously the whole way home. Not only did he have precious cargo in the form of Carlos but also Roxy was extremely sore and not in a good mood. She was anxious leaving the hospital and having to care for Carlos without any nurses' help. Juice had tried to reassure her but it just resulted in her crying for twenty minutes, the midwife assuring him it was just the hormones.

Carlos was five days old now and Juice had spent the first two nights at the hospital, not wanting to leave Roxy's side. However the midwives sent him home the last two nights in preparation for Carlos' return. Roxy still wasn't able to get in and out of bed all that quickly and as a result it meant Juice either did all the night time feeds himself or had to pick him up to give to Roxy then put back when he was finished.

So he did as he was told and spent the last two nights at home attempting to sleep. Which was a difficult task when he kept thinking about Carlos and not having Roxy in his bed. He hated being alone and being in that house without Roxy once again just set him on edge. At least this time he knew she was coming back to him.

And now here she was, limping alongside him up the driveway while he carried a sleeping Carlos in his car seat. Juice ushered Roxy into bed while he decided to set up for the BBQ that afternoon.

Carlos slept like a champion in his little seat while Juice cleaned up their back porch so they could use the BBQ. Being autumn it would be too cold to eat outside but the afternoon sun was warming the porch perfectly. Once he'd finished cleaning Juice sat with a beer and watched Carlos' even and rhythmic breathing, letting it settle his mind.

Juice knew he'd sent Happy onto some guy today to torture out information for the sake of the club. He knew it had to be done but it still set his teeth on edge. He did worry what he was exposing Carlos to by living this life but after everything he and Roxy had been through in the last couple years he just knew this was where they were meant to be.

Carlos started squawking for his next bottle, drawing Juice out of his reverie.

"Alright little man." He cooed as he scooped up the car seat and brought him inside for a bottle.

Juice settled down on the sofa with the little boy in his arms and spoke softly to him as he ate. And that's how Roxy found him. Cuddled on the sofa with their precious boy in his arms.

"How are you?" He asked as he noticed her shuffle into the room.

"I'm good." Roxy smiled down at the pair as she moved to sit next to them.

Juice took her under his arm now that Carlos had finished his bottle. Roxy stroked his little hand softly as she watched him wriggle and coo softly in his father's arms.

"I love you so much." Roxy spoke softly.

"I love you too." Juice kissed her on the head. "But people will be here for the BBQ soon. We should get ready."

"I'm as ready as I will be babe." She gestured to her SAMCRO tshirt and sweat pants. She couldn't face putting anything tighter on. She had tied up her hair and made herself look presentable otherwise.

"I don't expect anyone will think differently of you for it." He shuffled in his seat. "Take him and I'll quickly change."

By the time Juice was back from his shower people had started arriving. Roxy lost Carlos immediately and he was carried off in Tig's arms within about five minutes. Roxy watched on nervously as the little bundle was passed around and when he needed a nappy change she breathed a sigh of relief at having him thrust back into her arms.

Juice watched Roxy through the kitchen windows as he grilled the meat. Chibs, TO, and Happy standing with him.

Happy passed him another beer as he flipped over a burger and Juice accepted happily. "How'd it go today?"

Happy shrugged. "Good."

Chibs piped in. "I won't go into much detail tonight, but looks like we're on for next week. We'll be gone maybe two nights. Reckon Roxy will be ok? I want you in on this."

"Harley can stay with Rox if you like?" Happy offered.

"What about your Ma?" Juice asked.

"She'll be ok. My aunt offered to come back next week for a few days. My cousins are going to their abuela's in Bakersfield so she'll be free."

"Ok well if Harley won't mind I'd appreciate it."

"Well we'll settle the rest at church in the morning. But it'd be good to have you there Juice. Plus you're the one with all the computer skills. We're gunna need that if we're gunna pull this shit off.

xxx xxx

The rest of the night went well. Roxy was shattered by 9pm so everyone cleared out to let the young family have some time together. Thankfully Venus and Harley took care of all the dishes and the guys made sure to put all the furniture back that had been moved around for sitting. So now all that was left was to quickly bathe Carlos and get ready for bed.

The little boy seemed to love a bath and Roxy was glad he was so calm, she didn't think she'd manage if he had a meltdown about it. She was so nervous. In some ways the feeling made her pine for Gemma. She'd seen how useful Gemma had been for Tara when Thomas was first born, and of course for Abel. But things were different now and her Ma had no place in this life. Roxy shook the thoughts from her head as she watched Juice change Carlos into a fresh onesie. He was definitely a natural she mused as she lowered herself into bed.

Within a few minutes Carlos was asleep in his bassinet and Juice crawled into bed alongside Roxy.

"How was that?" He asked as he stroked her hair with his fingers.

"Tiring. But nice." She smiled softly at him.

"That's good." He sighed before he started the next part. "I do have some bad news though. I gotta head out of town next week. Just for a couple nights." He added at her frustrated look.

Tears sprung to Roxy's eyes at the thought of being left alone. "But what if I can't manage? I might still not be able to move properly. What will I do?" She asked.

"Harley will stay with you. It's just... well the guys have never _needed_ me before. And they _need_ me now. I have the tracking software and the ability to use it. It's important and Chibs wants me." He tried explaining. He was proud in himself that even after all that had happened that he was still accepted in the club. Still needed for jobs, needed based on his qualities and skills.

Roxy sighed lengthily and wiped away her tears. "Why is this so important? What are you doing?"

"I don't wanna trouble you. It's not important." He was worried about telling Roxy. Truth be told it was very important but also dangerous.

"Juan, if you are leaving me and our week old son to do this then yes, it is important, and I need to know." She pulled herself up to sitting in the bed and grumbled as the movement pulled on her stitches.

"Fine." Juice turned to face her, still lying down he lent his head on his hand and used his other hand to stroke over her leg. "Y'know the Devils MC?" He waited for her to nod. "Well we are taking out one of their transport convoys next week. Stealing their heroin off them and using the distraction to dismantle their business relationships."

"I see."

"The guys need me there as I've got the equipment to hack their phones and shit. I am sorry Rox. I wouldn't do this if it weren't important. I hate to leave you alone."

Roxy could see the guilt on his face and decided to lose her huff. She knew how hard he was trying and he really had been a rock while she was laid up in the hospital and unable to go backwards and forwards to see Carlos. She pulled herself down and lay to face him.

"I know you do. And you've been doing such a good job Juan." She stroked his face. "You're an amazing dad. And if you have to do this for the club then do it. It's what makes you, you."

Juice smiled softly. "I really do want to be a good dad."

"You are." She tilted her head up just enough to capture his lips in a sweet kiss.

Juice smiled softly against her lips and deepened the kiss, Roxy allowed herself to get caught up in the moment and slipped her tongue against his. Juice slid a hand down to cup her breast as Roxy moaned against his lips, however she could feel his growing excitement against her thigh and knew she had to put a stop to it. She slowly pulled back from his lips and Juice let his forehead rest against hers.

"Sorry, I got a bit carried away." He murmured.

"That's ok. Me too. But uh, we just need to be careful is all."

Juice smiled down at her and stole one more quick kiss. "Can't blame me for wanting you."

Roxy chuckled. "I suppose not. Can't blame me for wanting you either. I saw how popular you were amongst the nurses."

"It's just because Carlos is so cute."

Roxy pushed him off her playfully. "Come off it. You know you're cute."

Juice batted his eyelashes mockingly. "So cute." He laughed. "Come on then, lets sleep."

Roxy curled into his side as best she could and started to let her mind drift off. She worried about their task next week but at the same time she had confidence that they'd be ok. So her thoughts morphed over to Juice and Carlos and how sweet they were together and how lucky she truly was.

Of course her sweet dreams were interrupted by her little boy's hungry cries and Juice jumping up to get him.


	130. Chapter 130

**A/N: omg I'm so sorry about the delay. I've been really sick the last couple weeks and had no motivation to write. But I'm back!**

 **Thanks as usual to _Lennon_ for reviewing as always :) and _AngR_ for her motivating PMs and review! **

**And hello to _Eowyn_ when you catch up and _Robin.D_ who has just started reviewing from the beginning. **

**I'm heading to the end of this story soon but have ideas for another fic and will maybe write a few one shots from Happy and Harley's relationship for those who are interested. Feel free to send me thoughts on future fics you'd like to see!**

 **Anyways... read, review, and enjoy!**

 **xxx xxx**

"So it looks like they'll be bringing the product here," Juice pointed to a spot on the big map laid out on the Redwood, "where they'll have a crew waiting. But when Tacoma spied on that last run they noted they weren't very heavy on the security so I say we intercept before it gets to the warehouse." Juice said to the group.

SAMCRO was huddled around the map plotting for the weekend's run. Thanks to the info Happy extracted two weeks ago they managed to have Tacoma spy on a run. They couldn't tail them the whole way but enough to see the route and security detail. And it wasn't much. These guys were amateurs.

"So we'll set up for next week then. The Tacoma guys and Indian Hills are sticking around to help and we should be all set. I'll nut out the details with them and we can get on it." Chibs summarised. "Gunna be a few days away lad, you good for it still?" Chibs asked Juice.

"Yeah Harley's gunna stay with Rox. We'll be fine."

"That's settled then. Let's get this done."

xxx xxx

Juice had been enjoying the last three weeks as a dad. He surprised Roxy many times with how attentive he was to Carlos. Not that she thought he'd be a bad father but she knew how nervous he'd been about the whole thing but he was a natural.

Harley had come round to watch Carlos for a bit so Roxy and Juice could have some time together before they left that evening. Something Roxy was thankful for. She was nervous about Juice going away for a few days and wanted to lap up all his attention while she could. Deep down she knew he wouldn't stray but they still couldn't have sex for a few more weeks and it just set her on edge knowing he'd be out at the Bastard's clubhouse in Eureka. She doubted Crystal would still be hanging around after the run in at their wedding but nevertheless she let old insecurities take hold.

Harley had Carlos out in the garden in his bouncer, enjoying some of the autumn sunshine while she helped Juice pack in the bedroom.

"Sure you're ok with this?" He asked again, for the hundredth time that day.

"Yes Juan Carlos. Stop asking me." She huffed as she laid out his clean shirts from the washing basket for him to choose from. "Harley will have us at her place so we can keep Mari company. Plus she is desperate to see the baby." She smiled, Happy's Ma was growing on everyone who spent time with her. It was a shame she was so sick and couldn't participate in more club events. She was a bit of a live wire.

Juice placed his hands on her hips as he stood behind her and kissed her neck. "I'm sorry. I just worry about you. I feel terrible for leaving."

Roxy turned round in his arms and kissed him softly. "Well don't. You have a job to do and in the long run it'll keep us safe so do what you gotta do."

Juice nodded and picked up a couple tshirts, rolling them neatly to fit in his saddle bags that were sprawled out on the bed. He had everything he needed laid out around them so he could pack it up.

Roxy sat down on the edge of the bed as he started putting things in the bags, neatly organising them so they would fit and he had easy access to what he needed most.

"Plus you deserve a bit of fun after how hard you've worked with us these last weeks." Roxy fiddled with one of the belts he'd decided to leave behind.

Juice sighed. He knew this was coming and he didn't want her to worry. He zipped up the last compartment of his bags and turned to Roxy. He stepped forward and pulled the belt from her hands and she looked up at him.

"I'm not gunna have that type of fun Rox. Please don't worry about all that again." He begged in frustration. He hated that it was always going to come to this. He hated that he had put her in this position where there was always going to be a hint of distrust and it killed him inside when he thought about how he treated her in the past. She was the mother of his child. His beautiful, sweet, little boy. He could never imagine doing what he did to her again.

Roxy sighed. "I'm sorry. You're right." She smiled softly. "It just sucks having to wait this long."

Juice pulled her to stand up against him. "You're not wrong there. But it'll be worth the wait. I promise." He dipped his head down to catch her lips in a slow kiss.

Roxy moaned softly as his tongue darted across her lower lip and she slid her lips open to accept it. Truth be told her hormones were going crazy, but further than some sweet makeout sessions she hadn't let it go further. They couldn't have sex until at least her 6 week checkup but the discomfort of her stomach prevented her from doing anything else. Then with everything that had changed in her body during the pregnancy she couldn't help but feel self conscious when his hands roamed her body. The insecurities combined with the tender recovery area of her stomach just made her freeze up whenever he got close. It was a bit of a mental block she couldn't get over to do anything else.

She pulled back eventually and patted his chest softly with her hands. "You should go for a shower before you need to leave."

Juice breathed out lengthily through his nose as he tried to cool down. "Yeah." He smiled softly and moved towards their ensuite.

Roxy let out a frustrated moan and sat back down on the bed. She _really_ wanted him. And more than that she wanted him to want her and now she was worried he was gunna go off to Eureka all pumped up and with blue balls.

Roxy listened to the shower turn on and Juice's jeans hit the floor and she sighed again before deciding to take matters into her own hands. Maybe if she just joined him in the shower it'd be nice and she could move past this little mental block. She knew he'd been taking longer in the shower recently for that reason.

Mind made up Roxy slipped off her clothes and moved quietly into the ensuite. She could see Juice leaning his forehead against the tiled wall as the water ran down his back. She could tell he was trying to cool off a bit, but maybe he didn't have to.

Roxy slid open the glass door and stepped in behind him, startling Juice from his reverie.

"What you doin babe?" He asked as her hands slowly slid down his back.

"Just having a shower. That ok?" She smirked up at him as he turned around in her arms.

"I suppose so." He smiled down at her, wondering what her game was. He knew she'd been nervous about doing anything sexual since Carlos. Not that they'd had the time but the few times things got heated she clammed up, worried about hurting herself.

Roxy reached around him for his body wash that was on the shelf. She loved the smell of it, it was fresh, manly, and he'd always used it so it was just him. She squirted some onto his chest before putting it back and lathering up her hands. Juice's breath hitching in his throat as he felt her delicate hands slip over his chest and down toward his abs.

Roxy leaned into him and caught his lips in a kiss once more. But this time it was hotter and more sensual as she ran her hands over his body, inching closer to where he really wanted her attention.

Roxy could feel him bobbing against her thigh, hot and heavy, but she was enjoying teasing him and losing herself in the moment. She knew if she was in control and focused on him then there was no chance of herself getting hurt. The stitches really grossed her out but standing up like this with the warm water pouring over her body she didn't need to worry.

Juice moaned when her hand finally dipped low enough to wrap around his cock and his head bent forward to kiss her again.

"Oh fuck Roxy." Juice groaned as her soapy hands worked his shaft. It wasn't the same as being inside her but it was pretty damn close. Close enough that after three weeks of taking care of himself it felt like fucking heaven.

"God you have no idea how bad I want you inside me Juan Carlos." Roxy breathed against his chest before she kissed his sternum. Juice's breath hitched again and he lay his weight back against the tiles.

He wanted to touch her too but in this position her arms were in the way of where he wanted, probably protectively so, instead he ran his hands up her arms towards her chest so he could cup her breast.

Roxy let out a soft moan at the contact, truth be told she was getting incredibly turned on. She loved having this effect on Juice and seeing him come loose always got her hot. Like the time she caught him in the bedroom while she was pregnant. She let out another moan at that memory.

"I just want you to remember this while you're away."

"Trust me..." he grunted out, "I'll fucking remember." He panted slightly as she danced her fingertips across his abdomen, letting go of him briefly to run her hands up his chest to pull him in for a kiss. She was drawing it out and teasing him. She tugged on his bottom lip which sent him further over the edge and he decided to take matters into his own hands, but as soon as she saw what he was doing she replaced his hand with hers again.

"If I could, I'd bend you over that sink and fuck you so hard."

Roxy moaned and smiled against his chest. "I know, and you are _so_ hard Juan Carlos."

Juice couldn't take it much more and Roxy could feel him breathing quicker, she continued kissing across his chest, flicking his nipple with her tongue as she continued her ministrations.

"Oh fuck, Rox I'm gunna-" he groaned as he wrapped a hand in her hair, the other holding on to the arm she had moved up around his shoulder.

"Then go, I wanna feel it." She tugged lightly on the hair at the bottom of his scalp and he groaned and bucked his hips as he came.

He slumped back against the wall, letting her go as Roxy softly slid her hand up and down his softening shaft. He gulped a few seconds before he grabbed her hand, stilling it now he was too sensitive.

Roxy cuddled into his chest and Juice stroked the back of her head with what little energy he had before laughing softly.

"Fuck that was hot."

"Yeah?" Roxy seemed unsure of herself.

Juice pushed her back and turned them round so she was against the wall. Roxy braced an arm in front of her to stop him from pushing in too close.

"Yeah." He nuzzled her nose with his before kissing her quickly. "Don't think I've ever came that hard without actually having sex."

Roxy smirked against his lips. "It was fun."

"It's always fun with you." He nuzzled her nose again. "You're beautiful." He added before kissing her again, Juice slipped a hand down her side and rested it against her hip, stroking the soft skin with his thumb. "Let me repay the favour."

Roxy tensed. "I dunno Juan..."

"Just trust me babe." He breathed against her ear. Roxy melted into him slightly and he could feel her giving in. She was pretty worked up after all that.

"Mmm, ok, just be careful." Her breath hitched as he sucked on her neck and let his hand slide closer to her core, Roxy's hands holding tightly to his arm, ready to pull him away any second.

Juice went slow and gentle as he inched closer, Roxy's grip loosening slightly as his fingers finally reached their destination. "You must have really enjoyed that." He murmured against her skin as his fingers slid into her slightly.

Roxy gasped. "What can I say, you make me pretty hot."

xxx xxx

They eventually made their way from the shower and onto the porch to see how Harley and Carlos were getting on. He was still asleep and Harley was busy on Facebook on her phone.

"Have a nice shower?" She smirked without looking up from her phone at either of them.

Juice mumbled something about nothing being sacred any more and took his saddle bags over to his bike. Roxy just laughed and slowly sat down beside Harley on the porch swing.

"Didn't sound all that sacred to me Juicy Boy!" Harley called after him, Juice just giving the finger as he set the bags down.

Juice had the garage open to the back yard and his bike had been up on risers while he'd tinkered with it that morning. Now he was packing it ready to go. Roxy sighed as she watched him and Harley lent her head against her shoulder.

"What's up Rox?"

"Nothin. Just gunna miss him is all."

"I know how you feel. Except instead of being left with a cute, little baby I'm left with a sick, dying mother in law." Harley sighed.

"That bad is it?"

"Yeah. I don't think Happy has realised yet, or maybe he's in denial. Either way I can see it happening before my eyes."

Roxy slipped her arm around Harley's shoulders and pulled her close. "I'm sorry Harley. I know how much you've come to like Mari."

Harley shrugged. "Nothing is forever I guess." She watched as Juice turned to smile at Roxy. "I just hope when it's all over that Happy is."

xxx xxx

The group had made their way down to the clubhouse to see the guys off. Most of the club would be going on the expedition, along with the SAMTAC and Indian Hills guys who'd been in town for a while.

Rat, TO, and a few of the Indian Hills guys were staying behind to watch over SAMCRO while the rest went off on their mission. Roxy and Harley rolled their eyes as Juice and Hap gave them the run down on listening to Rat while they were away. Rat had been patched SAMCRO longer than TO, so even though TO was the more experienced of the pair Ratboy still outranked him.

"He's still a jumped up little, pre teen, prick, Hap." Harley grumbled as she followed him over to his bike.

He stopped and shot her a warning look. "He's still a patched member of this club so watch it girl." He said sharply.

Harley balked slightly at the tone of his voice but then nodded her head. He was right, Rat was the senior patch left behind and he deserved the respect that came with the responsibility. Happy had just been on edge recently with everything going down with his Ma. He wasn't ready for the end yet and it was inevitable. She was weaker by the day and he didn't want to face it. It was better to just keep him happy or keep out the way.

"You're right. I'm sorry." She said softly as he leaned against his bike. "He just rubs me the wrong way. I'll watch myself."

Happy nodded as she stepped closer. "Good." He pulled her in between his legs so he could get close.

"Gunna miss ya." Harley said softly against his lips as she bent in for a kiss.

"You too girl. Let me know how Ma goes, yeah?" He asked, eyeing her warily.

"Of course." She smiled softly as she ran her thumb across his bottom lip, it was far more intimate than he'd like in front of his brothers, but he let it slide this once. He was worried about his Ma, so he pulled her close, hands groping her ass as she bent her head down for a proper kiss.

"Alright lads, let's get this show on the road!" Chibs hollered out and the sound of harley tailpipes filled the air.

Juice kissed Carlos one last time before turning to Roxy to give her a proper knee bending smooch.

"Enjoy your girl time with Harley." He joked as he straddled his bike, the rest of his brothers firing up behind him causing Carlos to cry out with the noise.

"I will. Be safe." She pecked him again quickly before retreating with Carlos to a safe distance.

Juice gave a final wave, Happy just giving an up nod to Harley, before the group peeled out of the lot. As the echos of engine revs died off down the street Harley pulled Roxy close and gave her a quick kiss on the temple.

"Looks like it's you and me babe." She looked around at the sweetbutts and crow eaters littering the lot. "Better get these bitches in line and clean this place up before they get back." Harley's eyes sparkled with glee at the idea of bossing around the other girls.

Venus was yet to be made Tig's Old Lady, Tara never came by the lot much, and Lyla wasn't a current member's Old Lady so the main upkeep of the clubhouse fell to Roxy and Harley. Harley and Tara were the only two office bearer's Old Ladies so they would have been highest on the ladder, however Roxy was SAMCRO royalty, despite her family's many mistakes, so she was still high in the ranks. Tara had never really gained the respect or fear from the other women that was necessary to be queen bitch. And now that Jax was no longer VP she didn't hold as much power as she once had so now her threat of hardship on the crow eaters and sweetbutts was lost and she kept to herself. Roxy didn't blame her really after the way things turned out. She respected Tara for wanting to do what's best for her boys but after looking down at Carlos' sleepy face she couldn't ever imagine taking him away from Juice or their small, but quirky, family, despite the ever present threat of danger in their lives.

Roxy sighed and smiled at Harley before following her into the clubhouse to set out some orders.

xxx xxx

Roxy was currently watching Mari coo over a sleeping Carlos, she was thrilled to be cuddling the little boy and despite her weary appearance she had glowed with joy upon meeting the new baby.

The day nurse had finished not long ago and after a lengthy chat with Harley she'd left them in peace. Mari was tucked up in bed ready for the night as Harley busied herself tidying her room.

"He is a little angel. You and Juan Carlos must be very pleased." She commented as she passed him back to Roxy. Carlos wasn't a big baby by any means, but he was still too much for Mari to hold, even propped up in bed.

"We are so pleased." Roxy smiled down at her sleeping boy once again.

"I always wished I'd see my grandkids. But I know my Happy isn't likely to go down that route." She smiled softly at Harley who'd stopped in her cleaning to scowl at Mari. "But I'm glad he is happy with you _querida_."

Harley smiled and squeezed Mari's hand lovingly before continuing on with her picking up. Roxy decided to leave them to it and go put Carlos in his bassinet for a while. She softly clicked the door shut behind her just before Mari's coughing fit took hold. She was really not doing well and Roxy could feel the weight of that in the air. Harley was doing her best to keep things running smoothly but she knew Happy wasn't going to take it well.

Mari's coughs eventually died down and Roxy made her way to the kitchen to pour her and Harley some wine, no doubt she'd need some. Harley eventually came through by the time Roxy was on her second glass. She knew she shouldn't have much more seeing as she had Carlos by herself but her first post pregnancy wine was going down a treat.

Harley sighed lengthily and jumped up to sit on the countertop, downing half the glass before even turning to Roxy.

"She ok?" Roxy queried.

"Not really. She's asleep now but she's really fading fast. I just wish Happy could have stayed behind. I don't have a good feeling."

"Just call him tomorrow and if he has to come back he'll come. I know he will." Roxy assured.

"I'm just not sure how he's going to take all this. I mean, Mari is it for him. Always has been. I know he has his aunt but it's not the same." She filled her glass. "Ysabel is coming in the next few days. I messaged her earlier and she said as soon as she can sort some leave from work she'll be back.

"At least then you'll have some more help I guess."

"Yeah... wondered if you'd thought much about Gemma?" Harley asked, changing the subject.

Roxy rolled her eyes. "Yeah. I'm going to send her a photo when Juice gets back. We'll take a nice one and message it to her." Roxy ran her fingertip around the edge of the glass. "But that's it. I'm not keen on bridging that gap with her."

"You forgave Tig, can't you forgive her?"

"Tig's different. I think if it wasn't for the club coming first he would have helped me with the whole Juice thing. But his hands were tied. Ma on the other hand? She did everything out of her own sick sense of self preservation. I don't know if I can forgive that... maybe when I've forgiven myself for everything that happened. Who knows." She tipped the rest of her wine into the sink and washed her glass.

Harley watched her clean up a bit, taking in the slump in her shoulders. "What do you have to forgive?"

"I don't know. Just guilt that I let myself get into a position where I was taken. Shame. Whatever, I don't know." Roxy turned around just as Harley hopped off the counter top to envelop her in a hug.

"You did nothing wrong babe. That was all on those men. And they're gone now so you've got nothing to worry about."

"That's just it though Harley, they might be gone but they'd already passed on the horror to not only every man I've ever respected in the club, but to another MC too. Who knows who the fuck else has seen that stuff. I'm never going to get away from it." She wailed.

Harley pulled her in for a hug. "Those men, that you love so much, are working right now to get rid of those guys."

"No they're doing it to stop the drug issues."

"Partly maybe, but mostly? Because of you. _For_ you. Hell Happy spent those few weeks inside _for you_. He told me after he didn't care about being in there because it was for you and Juice. Just take comfort in the fact that your family has got your back."

Roxy stifled her sniffles. "Sorry Harley. Fucking baby hormones."

"And the wine."

Roxy gave her a watery smile. "You're right though. Thanks babe."

The two stayed up a while longer just chatting and watching tv. Then Carlos wailed from the spare room signalling his hunger and Roxy excused herself for bed.

xxx xxx

Roxy woke with a start and looked over to Carlos's bassinet. He was still sleeping soundly so she looked at her phone to see why she'd woken up. It was just a little after 3:30am and she had no missed calls or anything so she was confused.

Then she heard it, the coughing and commotion coming from Mari's room. Roxy got out of bed as quickly as she could to run through to the other room.

Harley was frantically trying to help Mari breathe, but she was slowly turning pale and Harley was fumbling with the oxygen mask to put over her face.

"I'm calling an ambulance." Roxy ran out the room to dial 911 and by the time she was back Harley was attempting CPR on Mari.

Roxy ran over to help by encouraging her and doing the breaths. There was no way she'd be able to do the chest compressions. It felt like an hour of doing this before the ambulance came but it was really only a couple of minutes until the paramedics banged on the front door.

"Go!" Harley called as she continued the compressions.

Roxy ran to let the medics in and gave them a run down as they moved into the room. They immediately took over from Harley and Roxy went to her side.

They hooked Mari up to a couple of machines and managed to get her stabilised.

"We're gunna have to take her to the hospital. Who's coming?" They asked the two shaken girls.

"Uh I will. I'm her daughter in law." Harley whispered as she looked down at Mari's frail form strapped in to the gurney.

"Go, I'll follow in the car when I get Carlos."

"You can't drive yet Rox." Harley told her, worried for her friend.

"I'll call Rat. Just hurry." Roxy shooed her out the room as the medics wheeled Mari off.

Roxy grabbed her phone and called Rat who was not happy at the early morning wake up. "I don't give a shit asshole. Hap's Ma is in the hospital and I need to be there. So move it. You wanna be the one to tell Hap?" She snapped the phone shut and started gathering Carlos' things.

xxx xxx

Juice and Happy had made it to Eureka not long after dinner. They'd enjoyed the hospitality of the Grim Bastards and had a great meal before both retiring to their dorms. Juice had some computer work to do and Happy just wanted to chill alone.

He'd called Harley not long before bed and they'd had a good chat, but when his phone's incessant buzzing woke him up at a little after 4am and he saw Roxy's name flash up on the screen panic ripped through him.

He flipped it open and growled a hello, panicking thinking something had happened to Harley. Why else would Roxy call him at this time.

"Happy?" Harley's broken voice crackled over the speaker.

"Baby?" He heard a chocked sob come out in response to the term of endearment.

"It's Mari. You need to come back to Charming."


	131. Chapter 131

**A/N: hello, just a short Happy centric chapter for you all. The final few chapters and plot line will focus on Happy and Harley to a degree but of course Juice and Roxy are completely tangled in it all.**

 **Thanks to _AngR, DocsAngel,_ and _Lennon_ for your reviews! Glad you're enjoying. **

**If there's anything Juice and Roxy you wanna see in upcoming chapters let me know :)**

 **As always, read, review, and enjoy!**

 **xxx xxx**

"It's Mari. You need to come back to Charming."

Happy jumped out of bed at Harley's words and rubbed a hand harshly over his face in an attempt to wake up more. "What's happened?" He barked out.

"She uh, she had a coughing fit and she-" Harley choked on another sob- "she went unconscious and me n Rox had to do CPR till the medics got there."

"She ok?" He was impatient to get to the point, praying his Ma was still alive.

"Kind of. They revived her and we are at the hospital now. She's awake but really out of it. The doctor said-" she started crying in earnest now- "oh Hap..." she cried into the phone and he could hear Roxy in the background soothing her.

"What? What did the doc say?" He all but growled.

"He said this was it. She's not going to make it much longer. They'll make her comfortable but that's all they can do."

He hated the sound of her crying and it grated on him. Mari wasn't Harley's mother so why was she so hysterical. "Get it together Harley. Put me on to Roxy, fuck." He sighed and frowned when he heard her sob and pass the phone over.

"Jesus Hap, go easy on her." Were Roxy's first words, but Hap didn't have time to deal with that. He had to figure out how pressing this was or if it could wait till after the heist tonight.

"Just lay it on me Rox I don't have time to piss around. She gunna last a couple more days?" He didn't mean to sound harsh but it was just all too much right now especially when he had to have his head in the game for tonight.

Roxy made an annoyed sound but didn't comment on his abruptness. "Doc's have her stabilised and they've asked if we want her to stay at the hospital or provide hospice care at home."

"Fuck."

"Yeah. I'm gunna call your aunt in a moment, let her know to come down now rather than later in the week."

Happy sighed and grabbed his smokes from the bedside table. "Yeah good. Thanks."

"So you coming back?"

Happy lit a smoke as he thought it over. "Can't. Shits going down tonight. I'll be back in the morning. I'll ride straight through."

"Hap I think you-" Roxy started but he immediately cut her off.

"Ain't your place to think shit girlie. I'll be back tomorrow morning."

Roxy huffed. "Sure. Whatever. Want to talk to Harley again? She could use some comfort after fucking resuscitating your mother at 3am." She snapped.

"She'll be fine. I gotta go." And he hung up before she could respond, flinging the piece of shit iPhone across the room, luckily for the phone it had a hard case on. "Fuck!" He yelled to himself.

He couldn't go back now, the club needed him on this shit tonight. Not that he'd recognise the fact that he was just prolonging the inevitable. He wasn't scared of shit. But he _was_ scared of watching his mother die.

xxx xxx

Roxy stared at the phone in her hand and cursed Happy before turning back to Harley who was leaning on the door frame outside Mari's room.

"What did he say?" She hiccuped.

"Not much." Roxy lied. "I don't think he's taking it too well. He'll be back tomorrow morning. Gives us time to set her up at home." She comforted.

"She needs him now." She whined. "I need him now." Harley just sounded dejected. She hadn't thought losing Mari would have such an effect on her. But she'd grown close to Mari in the months she'd lived under her roof, they'd bonded over more than just her son. They'd watched television together, sat in the garden in the sun, cooked together, laughed, cried, and everything in between. Mari had become a surrogate mother to Harley and she wasn't prepared to lose another mother so soon.

She knew it was also partly the exhaustion of being awake all hours of the night and the shock of having to do CPR and everything. Maybe in the light of day she'd be more calm and be the rock Happy needed.

"I'll call Juan. See if he can convince him to come sooner." Roxy decided. "Go sit with Mari and rest. I'll see what I can do."

xxx xxx

Juice rolled into the Bastard's club room from his temporary dorm. The guys had kindly offered up their rooms for the visitors and he'd managed a decent night's sleep until Roxy called him at the crack of dawn, and he was not looking forward to his conversation with Happy.

He grabbed a coffee and looked around for Hap. Knowing he wasn't in his dorm after knocking on the door. He strolled outside to find him sitting at a table with his head in his hands, ash tray full of stubbed out smokes in front of him.

Juice sighed and pulled a joint from his kutte pocket and strolled over. "Here you go brother. Look like you could use it."

Happy made a noise of agreement and accepted the offer as Juice sat down in front of him.

"What's got you up so early?" He grunted as Juice took a sip of his coffee.

"Roxy called." He stayed, giving Hap a wary look.

"Course she fucking did."

Juice frowned but continued anyway. "Think you needa go back Hap. We can manage. I'm sure Chibs will understand."

"Ain't her place, or yours, to think shit." He said calmly before taking a toke of the lit joint. "I'm fine. It's fine."

"Hap-"

"Leave it brother. I ain't gunna ask you or that gash again." He growled.

Juice stiffened at Happy referring to Rox as a gash. He knew what Happy had done for him for Roxy with that jail time and that he was hurting right now but he wouldn't stand for it a second time.

"Hey, I get you're dealing with some shit right now but refer to Roxy as a gash again and you'll be joining me in the fucking ring." Juice warned.

Happy growled in response. He knew Juice would be no contest in the ring and he'd easily flatten his brother but he still didn't appreciate the threat.

"Don't get shitty with me brother. You know the line." Juice said calmly again.

Happy sighed and finally glanced up at Juice, he'd been watching the burning embers of the joint. "Yeah. Sorry brother. That was outta line."

"No worries." Juice said and took another swig of his coffee.

"Just don't want people in my shit. I'll handle my shit the way I see fit."

Juice nodded. "So long as you do handle it." He tapped the table, grabbed his mug and left Happy to his thoughts.

xxx xxx

The day had been pretty hectic while they all sorted the plans for the night. It was going to be fairly straight forward, the Iron Devils were fairly blasé with their runs. They knew the Bastards didn't get involved in the drug trade. They were outlaw but not that outlaw. Mostly the Bastards just did protection runs, security, and had a strip joint. So running drugs just past their territory didn't seem to phase the Iron Devils.

They were rolling out to set up the ambush at first dark. The guys weren't running through till 9pm. They'd try to take down the convoy whole so Hap could find out some more information. He hoped that wouldn't take too long so he could smash out the ride back to Charming. He knew no one would probably go with him, other than maybe Juice, but he didn't care. Happy didn't mind riding alone, he was always vigilant and his time as a Nomad had forced him to be even more aware of his surroundings while riding, so even with the threat of retaliation from the Devils he wouldn't care about riding back to Charming.

But then again, if he stayed the night he'd be refreshed and ready to face everything when he got back home. Right?

By the time it came to roll out Hap was in the zone, he'd always been good at controlling his emotions and this was no different. It was easier to feel numb and focused than it was to feel the chaos in his mind. So he made sure that was where his head was at before turning to the others. As SAA he had to make sure Chibs and Quinn were good before anything went down. Then he turned to Juice who gave him a nod from his perch on his bike beside him.

With that done they were ready to ride.

Juice enjoyed the cool evening air whipping his face as they rode, combined with his anti anxiety meds the soothing ride calmed his tense emotional state. They were about to pull off a drug heist, in the open, on a public road. Fair enough it was a quiet stretch of highway but it still could go horribly wrong. At least it helped him forget the earful he got from Roxy when he told her Hap would in fact _not_ be coming home today despite what he tried to tell him and that they'd have to wait till at least tomorrow afternoon for his return. He'd had to remind Roxy of her place and that she couldn't demand shit of members and neither could he demand shit of an officer of the club. She'd eventually calmed down and realised the tricky situation she'd put Juice in with the club's SAA and apologised. But it hadn't been a good start to his day nonetheless.

Juice got his head back in the game and followed Happy, Quinn, Tig, and 3 of the SAMTAC guys as they continued on the highway. The second group, with Jax leading, had pulled off at a siding to bring up the rear when the convoy went past. Each team had a van with them for transport and evacuation. Juice hoped none of them got hit and required it. That would be the cherry on the shit cake that was today.

The other team were setting up with the tyre spikes and the first team hid further up the road, ready to catch the Devils when they stopped. The tyre spikes would lay down the bikes and they just had to hope the riders made it through so Happy could have his way with them. They needed to know the details of the Devils' trade and this was the best way to get it.

Juice sat with Chibs and smoked in silence while they waited for the signal call. He glanced over at Happy who was sitting alone on his bike and Chibs followed his gaze.

"He in the game?" Chibs ventured.

Juice threw his finished smoke on the ground and nodded to Chibs. "Probably more than ever. He's not happy and he'll most likely take it out on them."

Chibs snorted. "He's never happy. Dunno who the fuck gave him that name. Like calling Opie, Opie."

They shared a smirk and then a sad smile at the thought of their fallen brother. Then Chibs' phone buzzed. They convoy was coming and would be hitting the spikes in a moment. Juice sent a silent prayer up hoping the highway would remain as dead as it had been so far. It was one of those back road highways to the middle of nowhere.

"Here we go boys." Chibs motioned for the group to move forward out of the clearing.

That's when Juice heard the squealing of brakes followed momentarily by the grinding of metal on ashphalt. The team hurried out of their cover, the van pulling up towards the side of the road. Juice saw the 5 bikes laying haphazardly across the road, the truck with the cargo down in the siding. The second team had moved forward to surround the convoy and he could hear the groaning of the conscious riders. Jax moved forward and kicked one of them, gun trained down on his head as he asked him some questions. Happy and Tig moved forward to take out the poor prospect they'd had driving the truck. Chibs opened the back to confirm the haul of drugs in the back.

"Alright let's clean this shit up boys!" Chibs yelled to the crew. SAMTAC made quick work of loading the bikes into the back of the van they'd brought, followed by the haul of drugs while SAMCRO gathered the 2 dead Devils and their dead prospect and loaded them into the van. Chibs, Happy, Juice, and Tig bound the three conscious members and loaded them in the back with their fallen brethren. Juice shivered at the thought of ever being caught in a situation like this, and again when he saw the evil glint in Happy's eyes.

It took them 20 minutes but the guys managed to clean the scene up and torched the truck at the side of the road. The only evidence of anything having gone down was the burnt out truck, nothing else marked the scene.

They drove for another half hour to get to the warehouse the Bastard's had access to. It was in a remote industrial area and was isolated enough from the others in the area that no one would hear what was about to go down. When they unloaded the live Devils SAMTAC took the bikes and bodies to the desert to dispose of.

Juice watched on as Happy and Tig secured the men to seats and readied their tools for interrogation. The last thing Juice wanted to see was Happy going to town on these guys. But he couldn't leave and show weakness, plus he wanted to hear what they had to say about the Roxy situation. So instead he lit up a joint and settled himself against the far wall to watch it unfold.

Chibs and Jax stood with him while Quinn and Tig were closer, watching Happy as he worked. Juice closed his eyes as the muffled screams took over and he tried to clear his mind of the suffering going on in front of him. When Happy had them confess as to watching Lin's sick videos the guilt left his stomach.

He'd never be able to get those images out of his mind and he knew Roxy struggled with it on a daily basis. She never deserved any of the hell her family, both blood and club, brought down on her over the years. Even her escape to New York had been marred by her association with the club. Maybe if she hadn't had them in her ear she wouldn't have been vulnerable to a man like Matt. Maybe she'd have met someone decent and moved on to a safe and happy life where she had a successful career and beautiful family. But then he didn't want to think about that. If that had happened he'd never have his family. And that was something he didn't want to think about.

A couple of hours passed before Happy turned from the three bloodied bodies in front of him, smirking in triumph at having got what the club needed. Juice had seen him do this shit before and knew he took some kind of weird pleasure in it but the dark look covering Happy's features right now made him understand why the men on the chairs had pissed themselves.

Happy nodded to Tig before leaving the warehouse to cool off, leaving Tig to deliver the final shots. Execution style, right to the head. Juice breathed a sigh of relief that it was over and they knew where they were going from here. They had the details of the club's deals and locations and could begin forming a plan for a final takedown. Something they'd most likely involve the Niners and Mayans in given that it was their business they were impinging on. But that was a problem to face later.

Now they just had to make it back to Charming in one piece so Happy could figure out what to do.

xxx xxx

Happy had called Harley outside the warehouse while the others cleared the mess up. He was usually insistent on cleaning up his own messes. That way he could be sure there was no evidence left behind. But he trusted his brothers to do it right so he could find out what was happening. That and right now he didn't really give a shit if someone found the evidence or not.

Harley was a lot calmer this time round and had pulled herself together. "Well she's settled at home now. They've got hospice nurses coming round the clock to be with us and Ysabel will be here first thing in the morning." Happy breathed a sight of relief. "But she's on oxygen and hooked up to a bunch of crap Happy. She's fading fast. I'm sorry babe."

Happy growled in frustration. "Well I'll be back tomorrow afternoon. I'll head out in the morning."

"What happened to riding through tonight? She wants to see you." She snapped, she was tired and frustrated.

"Coz I'll lay down my fucking bike riding tonight. Fucking hell Harley." He growled down the phone.

"Ok, ok, I'm sorry." Harley let out a shaky sigh and used all her strength to keep from crying again. She knew he hated that shit. "I'll see you tomorrow afternoon then."

"Ok." He was ready to hang up now and head back to the clubhouse to drown his sorrows.

"I love you Hap." Harley said softly into the phone.

"Yeah. Ok. Bye." He hung up before she could say anything else. It was too much and he wasn't in the right headspace for this shit.

Usually the activities he'd engaged in tonight would calm his mind and set him straight. That's part of why he'd started this enforcer life after Ariana died. But tonight his head was more over the place than usual and he just couldn't take dealing with her emotions on top of his own.

The rest of the crew made their way towards their bikes and Chibs nodded to Happy.

"You good brother?" He drawled as he mounted his bike.

"Yeah. Fine. Let's get to it." Happy roared his bike to life beneath him and let the sound of the engine drown out the thoughts in his head.

xxx xxx

Juice watched Happy closely. He was halfway into a bottle of Jack and had yet to blow off the sweetbutt that was rubbing up on him.

Juice shook his head as he took another pull of his beer. Roxy had messaged him a few times and he'd just given vague responses. He'd call her in a bit but right now he was keeping a close eye on Hap.

"Tha' don't look good." Chibs sat on the sofa next to Juice and followed his line of sight.

"Yup." Juice sighed and fished a joint from his pocket. "Thought he might have cooled off after getting to _work_ tonight."

"He ain't touched a sweetbutt in months."

"I know. Fuck. Hope he doesn't fuck this up with Harley. She's looking after his Ma in her home. That shit is messed up."

"Aye. But not our place to intervene Juicy Boy." Chibs warned.

"Yeah, I know."

They passed the joint back and forward for a while and Juice's phone lit up with a photo of Roxy and Carlos snuggled in bed together with the caption _'we miss you daddy xo'_ underneath. He figured it was Roxy's subtle way of fishing for info on what he was doing.

Chibs looked over his shoulder and chuckled. "Daddy hey?"

"Fuck off Chibs." Juice joked, his face burning red with Chibs' implication. He looked up then to see Happy leading the blonde off toward his dorm room. "Ah shit. There he goes. Dead man walkin'." Juice sighed. He tapped the blunt into the ash tray and stood. "I'm gunna go to bed. Better call Roxy before she freaks out."

Chibs gave him a pat on the back before motioning for a sweetbutt to take Juice's recently vacated seat on the sofa.

xxx xxx

Happy was blind drunk by this point. Blind drunk and looking for a release. He didn't want to face up to what was happening back in Charming and he didn't want to even think about calling Harley. So when the girl started whispering dirty shit in his ear he took the opportunity to forget his current drama and dragged her off to his dorm.

He had the girl on all fours beneath him and pounded away mercilessly. He didn't really give a shit if she was getting off, usually he'd want every girl he fucked to feel satisfied by the end, it was a matter of male pride, but not tonight. Tonight he just wanted a rough and dirty fuck.

By the time he was done and had shunted her out of his dorm he was exhausted, and drunk enough, to fall into a deep sleep.

His self prompted promise of fidelity to Harley not even crossing his mind.


	132. Chapter 132

**A/N: some hectic shiiiiit coming up! Hope you enjoy ;)**

 **Thanks as usual to _AngR_ for being an awesome reviewer and someone to keep me motivated to write.**

 **Also to** _Lennon **for always reviewing and supporting! And to** **wheredidallthedreamersgo** **for her first review.**_

 **I _LOVE_ hearing from you all so please let me know what you think!!**

 **Anyways enjoy this craziness!**

 **xxx xxx**

Happy woke up the next morning with a killer hangover to the sound of his phone incessantly vibrating and chirping on the bedside table.

The stench of some cheap perfume as he rolled over in his sheets sent his memories of the night before crashing down around his head. "Fucking shit." He grumbled to himself as he remembered fucking the little blonde sweetbutt.

He scrambled over to reach his phone as it lit up with ringing again and checked the time. 7:30am. _Fuck. Gotta get on the road._

He answered his aunt Ysabel's third call in a row and grunted a hello into the phone.

"Happy? Where are you?" Ysabel asked softly.

"Eureka. I'm hitting the road soon." He scrambled to start packing his saddlebags, phone wedged between his ear and shoulder.

"I should hope so. Mari is asking for you." She sighed.

"I know, I know. I'm on my way."

"Good. _Vamonos sobrino._ "

"Yes, yes _Tia_. See you soon." He grumbled as he lay his fresh clothes out for the day.

"Good and be nice to your girl when you get here. She's been worried sick and crying all the night because of your words." She sounded annoyed with him and he rolled his eyes. Trust his aunt to stick her nose in where it didn't belong. Ysabel wasn't even 10 years older than him but she could play the aunt guilt trip like no one else. He figured it was all the telenovelas her and his Ma watched.

"Yeah okay _Tia_. I gotta go." As if he needed a reminder of how fucked up his life was right now.

After his shower he booted Juice's door and hollered for him to get ready to move but there was no response. Walking out into the club room he saw Juice and the rest of SAMCRO crowding around the table filled with breakfast food.

"Bout time Hap. We're rolling in 15." Tig commented through a mouthful of food.

"Why?" Happy grunted as he grabbed himself a plate.

"Not much point in hanging round. Figured we go together so you n Juice don't have to ride alone." Tig replied.

Happy just shrugged and sat down to eat. He hoped this wasn't going to be some 'brother support club'. He didn't want or need the emotional bullshit right now. He just wanted to deal with this in his own way.

"Aye. I know you don't care for this kinda emotional shit but we are all here for ya brother." Chibs said from the other end of the table.

Happy's fist clenched around his fork and he stabbed another piece of bacon. Glad that Chibs was so far away as the overwhelming urge to stab his fork through his President's hand took control. When would they fucking realise he didn't want their pity.

xxx xxx

The ride back to Charming seemed much longer this time round. Juice remembered the time they'd been up there, just him Happy and the girls, when he'd proposed. Everything seemed to go by in such a rush as they raced back to Tara and the news she'd miscarried at Gemma's hands. Juice shuddered at the thought. That was the beginning of the end for their family. Well, for Gemma anyway.

Eventually they hit the _Welcome to Charming_ sign and Juice chuckled seeing the fresh bullet holes in the sign. Local kids often used it for target practice and there were more potshots on it than before.

The rest of SAMCRO peeled off to go to the clubhouse while Juice followed Happy to Harley's place. He could see the hesitation in Happy's steps as he got off the bike, not wanting to go in just yet.

He'd prolonged it as long as possible and now he had to suck it up and step in the door. But he just couldn't do it. Behind that little white door was the house his Ma would die in and he just couldn't face it. He couldn't face Harley either. He didn't think it was the guilt of the sweetbutt, he just didn't want to see the pity in her eyes. He'd seen it in the eyes of his brothers, but he knew seeing it in hers would kill him.

"We going in?" Juice asked from his side.

Happy broke his stare from the house. "Gimme a sec. Need to smoke."

Juice nodded and went up to let himself in. He found Roxy in the kitchen finishing the washing up. As soon as she heard his boots on the lino she spun around and practically bolted into his arms.

"I'm so glad you're here. Where's Hap?" She queried.

"Having a smoke." Juice pulled her in for a kiss. "You ok? Where's the kid?"

Roxy pulled him towards the hallway. "I'm fine. Carlos is down here in the spare room napping." She dragged him down the hall, peeking into Mari's room where Harley was fast asleep before following on behind Juice. As soon as the door to the spare room was shut Juice had Roxy pinned against it. She let out a sharp gasp in pain as the movement pulled at her stomach and Juice immediately stepped back.

"Shit I'm sorry babe." He said, hands in the air.

Roxy let out a deep breath. "It's ok. It's not that bad now. You just scared me." She wondered why she was so hung up on it this time round. Last time, after Gabriel, she never seemed to give it a second thought. This time round she was constantly on guard.

Juice approached her slowly this time and cupped her face, dragging his thumb across her lower lip. "I _really_ missed you."

Roxy grabbed hold of his kutte with her hands and smiled up at him. "Did you really?"

"Mhmm." He affirmed, lips ghosting over hers. "Every second. I worried about you with all this." He pressed his lips to hers and Roxy sagged against his body, feeling the relief of him being home at last. It was only a couple days but with everything going on and it being her first time as the solely responsible parent she'd felt like it dragged on for months.

"Come lie with me." He tugged her slightly to get her to follow and she did. Wrapping herself around him and nodding off as soon as she was comfortable.

xxx xxx

"Harley?" Mari croaked.

"Huh... yes? What's wrong Ma?" Harley jumped from her seat, she'd passed out just after lunch and had slept since.

"Where is everyone?" She'd given up asking for Happy. Knowing he would not be taking this well.

"Ysabel took the kids out for a while. They're having dinner at the diner. She wanted to burn off some energy before they go back to their motel. She'll probably be back this evening. Roxy's probably napping. And... I haven't heard from Hap yet but they'll be back soon." She answered sadly.

Mari just smiled slightly, though it seemed like it took all her effort and she coughed slightly. "Don't worry about my son. I knew he wasn't going to take this part well."

Harley huffed indignantly. "That's putting it mildly."

"Please don't go hard on him _querida._ " Every word was a struggle but Mari felt like she had to say something.

"I'll try but he doesn't make it easy."

"He's never been easy." She smirked.

"Or happy." Harley laughed.

Mari smiled again, her eyes getting distant. "Want to know what his real name is?"

"Marcurio? Or something like that. I heard it when he was arrested. Every time I'd asked him before that he just told me Happy."

"It _is_ happy. Macario means happy. Or the happy one." She paused for some deep breaths of the oxygen tubes in her nose before continuing. "It was his stupid father's choice. His father had been Macario. And he was a happy child, for a while. Till things got real bad. But even then he was always my happiness. Every time his father beat me, or drank our money away my son came in with a big smile, a bag of frozen peas and a calm aura, so I called him Happy." She coughed some more. "Then his father turned on him when he was a teenager and he changed. He wasn't my happy boy anymore. But I still called him Happy, hoping it would stick." She grabbed Harley's hand and squeezed. "That's all I've ever wanted from him. To be happy."

"It's all any mother wants for their child I'm sure." Harley squeezed back.

"Please just make him happy, Harley?"

Harley nodded, tears springing to her eyes, it was as if Mari was saying goodbye. "You know I'll try."

"S'all I ask. I know I won't be around to ever meet my grandkids. But I want that for you both. I want him to be surrounded by family when he dies. To have someone. I know I have you and him and my sister... but it's not the same as having your soulmate by your side."

"Oh Mari, please don't say goodbye." Harley sniffled.

"We know it's only a matter of time sweetheart." She rasped, sounding more like her son with every new sentence.

"Just rest Mari. I'll find out where he is." Harley jumped when she heard the front door slam and before she could get up to go see what was happening she heard the roar of a bike in the drive. A bike she knew to be Happy's.

She turned back to Mari and noticed she'd fallen back asleep. She only had small windows of lucidity and wakefulness and they were fewer and far between as time wore on.

Harley sighed and moved out into the living room to see what was happening. She spotted Happy's phone next to the key bowl along with his wallet. He must have come in and bolted for some reason. Maybe he heard their conversation.

"Fuck." She sighed as she sat on the sofa and lit a cigarette. She decided to give him another couple hours and if he wasn't back by then she'd go looking for him and drag him back by the ear if she had to.

She didn't know how long she sat there smoking and thinking but eventually it got dark and Juice and Roxy appeared with a lively Carlos.

"You alright Harley?" Juice asked, seeing as she was sitting in the, now dark, room with no lights on.

"Huh?" Harley tore her eyes away from a photo of her and Happy that was sitting on the bookshelf. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine."

"Where's Happy?" Roxy asked as she came over to sit with a hungry Carlos while Juice fixed a bottle.

"I dunno. He didn't really come in." She sighed. "I think he did, well his phone and wallet are on the key table. But I was talking to Harley when I heard the door slam and his bike take off."

"Oh." Roxy sighed. "He's not good is he?"

"Wouldn't fucking know. He won't talk to me."

Juice handed Roxy the bottle and gave her and Carlos a quick kiss before dropping one on Harley's head. "I'm gunna go home and grab a shower and change. He should be here soon. Maybe went for a ride to clear his head."

"Yeah, maybe." Harley shrugged. Juice smiled sympathetically and took his leave. Leaving the two girls alone with the baby.

"Night nurse should be here soon." Roxy commented as she fed Carlos the bottle, him slurping greedily.

"Yeah..." Harley had resumed staring at the photo and made up her mind. "Fuck this. I'm going to find him." She stood abruptly. "Would you mind waiting for the nurse?"

"No, of course not." Roxy gave her the same sympathetic smile and Harley just cringed inside.

She nodded her thanks and grabbed her keys and his phone and wallet before chucking a hoodie on and taking off to her car.

Harley figured the best place to start would be the clubhouse, but she'd drive by the Hairy Dog just in case he'd decided to slum it and drown his sorrows in peace.

She checked herself out in the rear view mirror as she drove and cringed again at her appearance. Her hair was in a messy bun and she had no make up on. She rarely left the house without it but she wasn't feeling up to it this morning and hadn't envisaged leaving her house at all today. But here she was, playing cat and mouse with an emotionally unstable Happy.

The drive by the Hairy Dog turned up nothing, like she figured, so she continued over to the clubhouse. She spotted his bike the second she pulled in. It was parked haphazardly. Unlike him.

She sighed and rolled up the sleeves of her hoodie, her eyes catching on the crow Happy had given her. Marking her as his forever. She rolled her eyes and stomped over to the clubhouse in search of her man, ready to give him a piece of her mind.

When she opened the door to the clubhouse she didn't seem him among the group at the bar. Tig called out to her, along with Chibs and Jax but she was a woman on a mission as she stormed over to the dorms.

"This ain't gunna be good lads." Chibs shook his head and downed his whisky before walking over to the dorm corridor, ready to break up the guaranteed fight when Harley broke into the room.

Harley threw open the door to Happy's room, fully prepared to find him neck deep in a bottle of Jack, not balls deep in some slut. She reeled at the sight before her, Happy taking some blonde bitch doggy style on his bed. It took him a second to react and she noticed the half empty bottle of whisky on his bedside table.

"You unbelievable piece of SHIT!!!" She yelled, turning and slamming the door behind her before bolting up the corridor and into Chibs who was waiting cautiously at the other end. They could hear Happy roaring at the crow eater to get the fuck out and Chibs steadied Harley on her feet.

"Look, love he's not-" Chibs started but Harley cut him off with a slap to the face.

"Don't you _dare_ tell me he's not coping Chibs." And she moved past him as he stared on in shock, not really sure what just happened. "You all sat here and watched him walk off with that slut. While his mother is _dying_ in _my_ house? While I'm caring for her? While I watch another family member die? You make me fucking sick! All of you!!!" She screamed at the bikers gathered around the bar. "Some fucking brothers you are." She shook her head and stomped out of the clubhouse while they all watched on in shock.

"You gunna let her off with that?" Rat asked indignantly. "Fucking bitch hit you pres!"

"Enough!" Chibs hollered. He sighed and sat down on his seat again. "She's right. We're just as to blame as he is. We're sitting back watching him self destruct." He knocked back another whisky while TO and Tig nodded in agreeance.

xxx xxx

Harley slammed the door to her car behind her and let the rage fall into devastation and the tears cascaded down her cheeks. How could he do that? _Why_ would he do that? His mother needed him. She needed him. But he was so concerned with himself he didn't seem to care.

Then she saw the crow again, blurred through her tears, it felt like it was burning into her skin. "Selfish ASSHOLE!" She cried and slammed her hands against the steering wheel.

She decided after a moment she'd better get out of there and head back home before he came out looking for her. Or worse, realise that he wasn't looking for her.

Surprisingly she made it home in one piece and tore into the house just as the night nurse was leaving, having set Mari up for the night.

"Harley?" Roxy called out worriedly as Harley rushed past her and into her room, slamming the door behind her.

Roxy sighed, knowing this wouldn't be good. She transferred Carlos into the bassinet in the spare room and knocked on Harley's door.

She could hear the sobbing but got no response so she decided to just let herself in. Harley was lying face down on the bed crying into the pillow. Happy's pillow, not that Roxy knew that.

She sat gingerly on the edge of the bed and stroked Harley's back. "What happened?" Though she figured what the answer would be.

"I walked in on him and-" she hiccuped a sob- "and some bitch from the clubhouse."

"Oh Harley..." Roxy let the sentence hang and lay down next to her friend and hugged her while she sobbed her heart out.

After a long while Harley's sobs eventually died down and she rolled over so she could look at Roxy. "I'm sorry."

"What in the world are you sorry for?! He's th asshole who should be sorry."

Harley shrugged. "You and Carlos should be home with Juice and I'm keeping you away. You should go."

Roxy stroked some of Harley's blonde hair away from her face. "You're not keeping me anywhere. Juice will understand."

Harley smiled softly. "I told you he's a good one."

"You forget about Crystal. Been there, done that ride." She chuckled softly.

"I know. But how he could he do it now?!" She wailed.

Roxy sighed lengthily. "I'm not saying this to excuse his behaviour. Because believe me I want to gut him right now. But... well, we all know Happy isn't exactly level headed. He was never going to take this well. He's a complete dickhead, but I know he wouldn't have meant it."

Harley rolled her eyes. "Seems like he meant it. Barely even stopped thrusting."

"Mmm." Roxy hummed noncomittally. "Right now though we gotta focus on Mari."

"I know." Harley got up and re tied her hair which had mostly fallen into an even messier bun. "I should go check on her."

Roxy grabbed some wine and a couple of glasses before heading into Mari's room. The older lady was sleeping peacefully, having been given her night time sedation. The doctors agreed it would allow her to rest effectively whilst also preventing any coughing fits by keeping her airways relaxed. It had worked well so far with no other fits like that first night.

Harley graciously accepted the wine and sighed. "This is going to kill her. She's desperate for Happy and I to stay together. Doesn't want him to end up alone."

"She doesn't have to know. You and Hap can work something out I'm sure."

"Maybe." She gulped some more of the wine down. "Hell, she was talking about grandbabies earlier."

"You'd make a great mum Harley." Roxy offered.

"Maybe. I miss my mum. So much it hurts. She'd know what to do with all this shit."

"She was a tough Old Lady that's for sure. Kept your pops in line for years." They shared a chuckle.

"I guess I've just got so attached to Mari because she kinda took me in. Even though it was me taking her in. I dunno... maybe Happy's jealous."

"Maybe." Roxy answered.

They sat quietly, drinking the bottle, Harley having the majority, before Carlos' little wail could be heard from the other room.

"Well that's my cue to leave." Roxy stood to go and tend to the little baby and Harley watched her go, tears starting again as any thoughts of a possible family with Happy left her mind.

xxx xxx

Happy was reeling. He'd never meant for Harley to walk in on him like that. He just wasn't handling this shit all that well and when he'd heard his Ma talking about babies and goodbyes with Harley he lost his shit. He could bear the thought of it all.

Deep down he knew his Ma spoke some sense. It would be awful to die alone. At least she had his aunt and him. By the time Happy met the reaper he'd not even have that.

He'd laid on his bed, slowly swigging from his bottle every now and again. It had been hours since he'd kicked out the crow eater but he hadn't been able to move and face his mistakes. And every time he thought of his Ma he hated himself. Even more whenever he remembered the look of sheer devastation on Harley's face when he'd turned around to see her, dick still inside Sherry.

Chibs had come a couple of times to get him to come out but he'd told him to fuck off and after a while he could hear the sounds of his brothers retreating to their dorms or the sound of bikes leaving the lot.

Some time after 9pm he decided he had to go figure this shit out. Rather clumsily, he dressed and grabbed his bike keys before shrugging on his kutte and heading out to the lot.

He knew he shouldn't be riding in this condition but right now he literally could not give a shit whether he made it TJ Harley's or not. He stopped his bike in the drive and kicked the stand down before hopping off and throwing his helmet on the ground. He hadn't really developed a sane plan going into this, just that he was pissed off.

Pissed off his Ma was going through this, pissed off Harley was upset, pissed off he upset her, pissed off with himself for not keeping to his promises, pissed off that he couldn't keep himself in control. The last one pissed him off the most. He prided himself on his ability to keep his cool and channel his emotions. But this whole thing has thrown him for a loop.

He slammed the door and threw his keys in the bowl before making his way to their shared bedroom. The lights were all on but it was empty. Then he heard the quiet sobbing and frowned, he turned to go into Mari's room and saw Harley leaning over the bed. Empty bottle of wine next to her.

"What's going on?" He demanded.

"Nothing Happy. Just doing what I've been doing every night. Looking after your Ma."

Happy studied his mother's frail form tucked neatly into the bed. She was hooked up to a heart monitor and had oxygen tubes in her nose. Shuddering at the sight he clenched his fists against the rage that consumed him. There was nothing to direct that rage at. He couldn't punch cancer. He couldn't slit cancer's throat or put a bullet through its temple.

So he moved into the room and kicked over the empty bottle. "Drinking while you do it? That what happened the other night? Too drunk to sort her shit out?" He growled lowly.

Harley stood up abruptly and stormed past him. "I'm not doing this in here." She moved through to the kitchen and grabbed another bottle of wine from the fridge, pouring a healthy amount into her glass and gulping half of it before he emerged in the archway. "As if you can talk anyway you hypocritical fuck!" She downed the rest as Happy's nostrils flared in rage at the insult. "Yeah, that's right. I'm calling you out on your shit." She slammed the glass down, cracking the stem of the glass.

"You better watch your mouth girl." He threatened.

"Fuck you! Come in here, to _MY_ house and start spitting shit at me for having a drink? At least I didn't go out and fuck someone else to drown my sorrows. No that was you."

"Thought you didn't care if I did that?" He spat back.

"No! I always said I could deal with the run rule. Not you fucking whores in _my_ hometown! In _my_ clubhouse!"

"Ain't your fucking clubhouse and ain't none of your business what goes on there." He growled, moving closer to her round the kitchen table.

Harley let out a derisive laugh and moved away from him into the living room. "It's as much my home as it is yours. You forget I grew up there. Anyway, you're the one who committed to me, you're the one who promised fidelity. Then when I'm at my lowest, dealing with everything here you throw that at me? You really are a fucking asshole!" She yelled.

"It's not yours to fucking worry about! She ain't your Ma. She ain't shit to you! Why are you so fucking sad about it? Huh?"

Harley scowled at him. "Because I opened my home to her! To you! I opened my fucking heart to you Happy Lowman and you just stomped all over it!"

"Oh don't be so fucking dramatic."

"Don't be dramatic? This ain't fucking dramatic!" She yelled at him, tears of rage streaming down her face. "This is dramatic!" She grabbed the framed photo of them from the beach at Roxy's wedding and hurled it across the room at him, narrowly missing his bald head.

"Crazy bitch!" He hollered back.

Roxy could hear the yelling and smash from her room, she knew it wouldn't be good the second he got home so she called for Juice and some of the others to help before this got out of hand. Then she quickly darted into Mari's room with Carlos in case she woke up. Plus she felt slightly safer in there knowing Happy wouldn't do anything that would put his Ma in danger.

"You're a lying, cheating, selfish, piece of shit! Getting your dick wet while I'm waiting around here for you. While your Ma is waiting around for you! You're a great son clearly! She deserves better, she doesn't fucking deserve a piece of shit son like you!" She slapped him full across the face now that he'd approached her. The second time she'd felt the stinging in her palm that night.

Happy was on her before he'd even registered what happened fully. "You fucking bitch!" He yelled, slamming her against the wall with his arm barring her throat. "You wanna talk shit about me? Wanna bitch about how I handle my shit? Do ya?" He yelled in her face, relishing the fear in her watery eyes.

Harley had no idea what had come over Happy. She'd expected the fight the second she heard his bike pull into the drive, but never this.

"Hap..." she croaked out. "You're hurting me."

"Maybe I should!" He barked at her, not easing on the pressure. "Maybe then you'd learn to watch your fucking mouth. Making a scene in front of my brothers like that!"

Harley was really starting to choke and her fight or flight instinct kicked in. She clawed at his arm and kneed him in the nuts. Successfully getting him off her as he stumbled back.

She bent over and tried to catch her breath. "You're a crazy motherfucker! Y'know Mari told me all about your father today. You're no better than him!" She cried out as she watched him shake with rage.

Happy advanced on her again, unable to contain his rage at her words, he wasn't like that asshole. She was the one who hit him first. She was the one winding him up on purpose. She had no right to be pissed at the sweetbutts or how he handled his mother.

"Better watch what you fucking say girl. Last chance." He threatened as he crowded her against the wall, grabbing her upper arms harshly to pin her in place.

Harley looked him dead in the eye, seeing nothing but black rage reflected in them. She was scared. Petrified. But she couldn't hold back, didn't want to seem weak. It was a sense of pride. He'd already hurt her in the worst way possible. What was just a little more pain?

"Or what? Gunna hit me big man? Really smack me around?" Harley's voice never wavered. If it wasn't for the watery sheen in her eyes and tear stained face he'd never have known she was scared.

He slammed her against the wall again, Harley crying out as her head bounced off the dry wall.

"You're a fucking pussy Hap. Taking the easy way out. Avoiding all this with your Ma and now this, beating on a woman. Make you feel good, does it? You're exactly like him then." She spat out, her face so close to his she could smell the whisky on his breath.

Happy had slapped her before she could even react, his rings biting into her cheek from the back handed motion. Harley cried out in pain, immediately dropping to the floor and clutching her face.

Happy let her drop to the floor and took a step back, watching as she curled in on herself, sobbing completely now. He turned around at Roxy's voice, gun cocked and aimed at his chest.

"Get out." She said calmly as she heard the bikes roar into the drive. "NOW!" She yelled.

Happy put his hands up in a show of defence, turning back to Harley's crumpled form on the floor and feeling the icy wash of realisation dawn on him. He'd done this.

The door flew open and Juice, Tig, TO, Jax, and Chibs barrelled through it, taking in the scene in front of him.

"Shit! Roxy! Put down the gun." Juice exclaimed as he moved forward, shocked to see her training her weapon on a brother. Then he saw Harley's crumpled form on the floor. "Oh shit, what did you do Hap?" He looked between the two.

Tig moved over to Roxy and took gun fun from her hands, putting the safety on and un-chambering the round. "Where's the kid?" He asked softly.

"Mari's bed." Roxy responded, not once taking her eyes off Happy.

Juice and TO dragged Happy outside, away from the scene of the crime and Chibs and Roxy approached Harley. Roxy crouched down next to her and pulled her into a hug as Harley's gut wrenching sobs could be felt through her whole body.

After a few minutes Tig appeared with Carlos and all his stuff. "I'll take him to your place and wait." Roxy nodded as he grabbed her keys from the key table.

"Harley, lass, can I take a look at you?" Chibs asked gently, prying her from Roxy's arms. "Oh love..." he commented as he took in the damage.

Harley's lip was bust open on one side, dripping blood down her chin, along with a bleeding nose she had a couple of deep cuts on her cheek bone where Happy's rings had made contact. The bruise across her neck was also quite prominent already.

"Let's get you up on the sofa, have Tara come round and see ya, hmm?" He helped Roxy move her over to the sofa and sat down next to her. "I'm sorry this all happened girl. I really am. Like you said earlier. We shoulda been looking out for him."

"It's ok." Harley mumbled shakily.

"No, it's really not love." Chibs sighed. Once again he'd seen one of his brothers get rough with a woman, and once again he reflected on how he could have prevented this.


	133. Chapter 133

**A/N: love the response to the story line! All is not lost but the drama is far from over hehe**

 **Thanks to _AngR_ as always for her reviews and motivating PMs. **

**Also thank you to _wheredidallthedreamersgo, Jera, Lennon,_ and _Katrina_ for your reviews! I appreciate hearing what you think and it really makes my day!**

 **Anyways here we go...**

 **xxx xxx**

"What the fuck?!" Juice yelled as he shoved Happy off the porch and onto the lawn. "What are you playin at? My wife and kid were in there!!"

TO had to pull him back as Juice advanced on Happy again, but Happy said nothing. He simply sat on the grass with his head between his knees.

"You gunna fucking answer me?!" Juice yelled again. He was furious at the scene he'd walked in on. Furious that Roxy had felt the need to pull her weapon. She should always be safe around his brothers and he trusted Happy more than most.

"I don't fuckin know what happened, ok?" Happy rasped out, clearly upset with himself.

"No! Not ok! I get you're going through some shit right now but they're supposed to be safe with you. Harley's supposed to be safe with you!" Juice continued to fume.

"I know!" Happy roared and clumsily got to his feet.

"Whoa brother." TO placed a hand against his chest as Jax moved over to Juice. "Baby coming through." TO warned Happy as Tig exited the house with a screaming Carlos.

Juice took a second to compose himself before turning from his brother after one last parting glare and focusing on his son.

"Hey little man." Juice cooed as he took Carlos from Tig. "It's ok buddy." He rocked the little baby back and forth as he slowly calmed down and in turn calmed Juice down.

Happy watched Juice dote on his son and felt his stomach drop even more. He'd fucked up his family. And he'd never have the chance to expand it. Not now. He was lucky he got a second chance after Ariana and now it was gone too.

"Shit." He grumbled to himself as he tore his eyes away. He wanted to go in and see Harley but he knew that would make things worse, so instead he walked over to the curb and sat down, pulling his smokes from his kutte and lighting one up.

The others could see his shoulders shaking slightly but knew better than to go and comfort him. None of them had ever seen the enforcer cry and couldn't help but watch on.

Chibs stepped out onto the porch and summoned the Sons over. "Jax, get Tara over to Juice and Roxy's. Harley's gunna stay there tonight. Tig and TO you guys stay here with Hap, Harley's in no fit state to watch over Mari tonight."

"Of course Pres." Tig nodded.

"Alright. Let's get this sorted." Chibs commanded.

Juice followed him back inside to help gather what was left of Carlos and Roxy's things, passing Carlos back to Tig to put in the car.

Roxy had already had her stuff packed and had started gathering things for Harley, who was currently sitting on the sofa staring at the place the photo had been before she threw it.

"All packed Harley." Roxy said softly from Harley's side.

"Huh? Oh... yeah." Harley stood, shaky on her feet at first but then held Roxy's hand as they walked out the door, Juice carrying the bags behind them.

Happy watched Harley leave from his spot over the road. She hadn't noticed him and just looked a bit lost as Roxy guided her over to the car. He figured she'd at least have a concussion after he'd slammed her against the wall so hard. He didn't know what came over him, but he hated himself for it.

Happy waited for Juice and Roxy to depart, Juice on his bike and Roxy driving Harley and Carlos, before walking back over to the yard. Jax followed on behind, probably going to get Tara. He knew Harley would need some sort of attention, especially with the cuts on her cheeks. He looked down at his rings which had a faint stain of blood. He'd cleaned them many times before, from random fights while on a job, from his brothers, from when he went brutal on a hit kill. But this time the blood was from Harley's face, his Old Lady's and it made him sick to his stomach. He eventually made it to the door of the house and stood beside Chibs.

"Come on brother. Let's go see your Ma." He pushed Happy through the door and into the living area.

Happy immediately spotted the smashed frame on the floor and realised it was the photo of them at Roxy's wedding. He'd loved that photo, they were wrapped together intimately when Lyla caught them. At first he'd been pissed that someone had been spying on him. But after he'd seen the print he was thankful. He hadn't seen himself look so carefree for a long time. His love for Harley etched on his face.

Happy sighed and picked up the photo, brushing the glass off and taking it with him to his Ma's room, Tig and Chibs leaving him to it, turning to survey the mess around them and start cleaning.

Happy stopped in the door to his ma's room. He could see her clearly, frail body wrapped up in the bed spread. If it wasn't for the screen on the heart monitor showing a pulse he'd have thought she was dead. He sighed and moved into the room. He knew this part was coming, known it since the doctors explained it to them two years ago. It was terminal. But he'd never imagined it like this.

Happy kissed his ma's forehead and sighed. "Fuck, I'm sorry Ma." He placed the photo on the bedside table and moved back to the door, he was too drunk still to sit in here.

When he got back to the living room Tig and Chibs had cleaned up the glass and straightened the place up while TO put on some coffee. There was a slight dent in the drywall where he'd smacked Harley's head and he snapped his eyes away.

He sat on the sofa with Tig and accepted the coffee from TO graciously. After everyone had settled he decided to speak up.

"I am sorry about tonight brothers. Shit just uh, got a little out of hand." He rasped. Truth was he was embarrassed beyond belief. He'd never been so out of control around his brothers and he hated they'd seen that side of him. And hated that it had been on Harley. Sons didn't harm women. Old school bikers smacked their Old Ladies around sometimes, but Happy had prided himself on being part of the new generation. And he prided himself on being a man. And men don't hit women. "I shoulda never let it get that far."

"We shouldn't have let it get that far. We knew something was bound to happen." Chibs commented. "We are your brothers after all."

"Yeah but you should have to do shit. I should be able to control myself." Happy downed some more coffee.

"Sometimes we can't. When shit gets real that's what happens, no shame in it." Tig offered.

"Shame in hitting a woman though. Fuck..." he rubbed his hand over his stubble. "I'm never gunna be able to make this up to her."

"Cheating and assault in one night? Probably not." Chibs said bluntly. "I've seen Old Ladies run for less." He levelled with Happy. "Whatever she decides tomorrow, in how this plays out for the time being, you accept it. No arguments, no fighting, no forcing the issue. Got me?"

Happy met Chibs' eyes, he knew what he was doing. Making it a club order ensured Happy would follow it. "Yes pres."

Chibs patted him on the back. "Good. Now go spend time with your mother."

Just as Happy stood up his aunt Ysabel appeared at the front door. "Happy? How are you?" She called cheerily as she came through with some bags. "There are so many bikes in the drive I had to park on the street. What's happening?" His aunt continued to fire off questions despite not having received answers for any of them.

"Uh.." he cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Some shit went down. Harley's staying at Roxy's."

Ysabel set down the bags and turned to look at the bikers assembled in the living room, and judging by the depressed look on Happy's face he had done something.

" _Que paso? Que hiciste?"_ (What happened? What did you do?) she demanded in Spanish.

"You'll find out tomorrow I'm sure. I'm gunna go sit with Ma." Happy grumbled and left the room.

Ysabel turned to the three others in the room, slightly uncomfortable as she didn't know them well. "I just brought groceries Harley was running low on... I should go. My children are asleep at the motel and my teenage son isn't the most responsible..." she grabbed her purse and rental car keys.

"Ok love. We'll keep an eye on them tonight. I'm sure he'll explain tomorrow." Chibs said as he escorted her to the door.

"I don't think I need much explanation given the smashed frame over there and the look on my nephew's face." She sighed. "Just watch out for them."

"We will." Chibs nodded and locked the door behind her and turned to his brothers. "What a fucking mess we have here."

xxx xxx

"Oh Harley." Tara sighed as she sat down in front of her on the coffee table.

"Don't, Tara... please I can't take the pity." She mumbled in reply.

"Not pity Harley, just hate seeing you like this." Tara opened up her medical bag. It was like an extreme first aid kit. She'd put it together a while after being called out for the club all the time. She couldn't practice as a surgeon any more while her wrist was in rehab but she would always be the club's shot doctor.

"Stitches?" Harley asked as Tara inspected the cuts on her face with gloved hands.

"Afraid so. This smaller one should be fine with butterfly's but I think I'm gunna have to stitch this one." She gently touched around the one under her eye, high on her cheek bone. "Rings?" Tara asked uncomfortably.

"Yes."

"Ok. I'll give it a thorough clean and maybe I can try glueing it? I'm worried about the healing. I want to do it clean, no scar."

"I don't care if there's a scar. Do whatever is best." Harley shrugged.

Tara checked her for concussion and had Roxy get some ice. And before long Harley was laid on the dining table, ice on her head while Tara set up for the stitches.

Roxy held her hand while Juice and Jax went out back for a smoke and left them to it.

"Shit that was crazy." Jax muttered as he lit the smoke between his lips.

Juice opted for a joint, feeling the need to calm his nerves after tonight. "You're telling me. Dunno what came over him. Can't believe he'd pull that shit with Roxy and the baby in the house. Thought I could trust him."

"You can bro. We all thought something like this would happen some day. He's like a volcano ready to blow. Has been for years. Can't do the shit he does without something like that happening at some point."

"I guess." Juice sighed.

"How's things with you and my sister?" Jax decided to change the subject.

"Amazing. Really amazing."

"I'm glad. You guys deserve it. I know shit hasn't been 100% with us since all that crap went down but I'm glad you're both happy."

"Thanks Jax."

"If you want some time alone me and Tara can always watch Carlos for you. I know she'd love that. But if you ever need someone to look after Carlos and we're not available Elyda has offered her services. She's round with the boys now and I think she's desperate to see your baby." He chuckled.

"Thanks, appreciate it. Might be nice to take you up on that offer soon." Juice smiled. "Once all this crap dies down. Can't see Roxy wanting to leave Harley any time soon and until we got this Iron Devil problem locked down I'm not so keen on being away from Carlos to be honest."

Jax stubbed out his smoke. "I doubt they're gunna mess with us. They know who we got on our side. Plus ain't no proof we did shit to their shipment."

"S'pose." Juice finished the last drag of his joint and moved to go back inside. "Should see how the girls are."

Tara had just cleaned Harley up after the stitching and Roxy was helping her sit up again. Tara handed Harley some drugs and a prescription to get filled the next day.

"You'll need the antibiotics in the morning, I gave you a shot for now. Also these pain meds will help. I'm not mega worried abou concussion so you can sleep. Just try to rest Harley." Tara explained, patting Harley on the arm.

"Thanks Tara." She turned to look at Juice and Roxy. "I'm so sorry that happened. I don't know what came over me."

"I'm more worried about what came over him!" Roxy huffed. "What the fuck was he playing at?"

"I pushed him Rox. I knew I was winding him up, said some hateful shit." Harley looked down at her hands.

"No Harley. Don't do that. _You're_ the victim here. It doesn't matter what you said he should have been able to keep his cool." Tara insisted.

"Exactly. Couples fight Harley, it's part of life. They aren't allowed to hit each other over it. He's the one in the wrong." Roxy added.

"Maybe." Harley stood. "Mind if I go sleep? Been a long night."

Roxy sighed, knowing they weren't going to get through to Harley tonight. "Yeah, of course. Come on." She motioned for Harley to follow and got her set up in the spare room.

Tara turned to Juice and Jax. "I'm ready to go." She packed up her stuff and Juice walked her and Jax out. "How's Happy?" She asked finally, as they reached Jax's bike.

Juice shrugged. "Don't know and don't care right now."

Jax sighed. "Pretty torn up. Don't think he really realised what was happening till Rox pulled the gun on him. I'll find out tomorrow."

"Yeah, ok. I just worry, I mean what he did tonight is inexcusable but we should watch out for him... mentally... I know he's like you guys' tough man and all that but he's going through a shit time and I doubt he's gunna cope well at all. This is just the beginning." She sat down behind Jax who was strapping on his helmet. "He might need like, professional help..." she let it hang there knowing the guys would never go for it.

"Won't ever happen Tara. But we'll keep it in mind." Juice nodded to Jax.

Juice locked up the house and found Roxy in their bedroom watching Carlos sleep in his bassinet.

"You ok?" He asked, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and resting his head on her shoulder.

Roxy shrugged. "Dunno. I mean... that was some fucked up shit tonight."

"I know. Never shoulda happened and I'm sorry you got caught in it. I shoulda stayed there."

"Not your fault. I just didn't think things would go so crazy. I mean I love Hap, he's one of your brothers and he's been so amazing to Harley this last year. Like he's supported her through everything with her Ma and pops when I couldn't. But now... now I'm kinda scared of him. He had no control. I don't think he even registered I had the gun till you guys came in."

Juice turned her around in his arms and pulled her into him. "We'll deal with Happy. We'll watch out for him. You just focus on Harley and Carlos."

"I just hope maybe they can sort this so they can at least still be friends. I don't want her to shun the club. It'll make everything so difficult."

"I'm sure it'll work out. But for now, you gotta get some rest. It's been a long few days." He pulled her in for a soft kiss which Roxy took the chance to deepen.

"I love you." She mumbled against his lips.

"I love you too."

xxx xxx

Happy woke early the next morning, he'd barely slept as their bed just smelled of Harley's perfume and it drove him nuts. So hungover as hell he made his way out to the living room to grab some coffee.

Tig was asleep in Mari's room on the armchair and TO had passed out on the sofa, but woke up with the sound of Happy getting mugs out.

"You sleep at all man?" TO questioned as he stumbled, bleary eyed into the kitchen.

Happy just shrugged and continued making the coffee. He wasn't in the mood to talk, plus he wasn't all that close with TO.

After he fixed the coffees he took one through to Tig and swapped with him.

"Can't believe she slept all night." Tig commented as he took a sip.

Happy just held his mother's hand and took a sip of his coffee. "Harley said something about sedatives." He cleared his throat, feeling pained to talk about her.

"I'll leave you to it brother."

"You guys can go if you want. Shit'll be fine here. Day nurse comes at 8am."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine." Happy insisted. "Always am." He added when Tig left.

Not long after the sound of the bikes left the street Mari stirred and Happy sat up straighter in his chair. Not prepared for what was bound to come.

" _Mijo_." She croaked. "I missed you."

"I missed you too Ma." He squeezed her hand. "How you feeling?"

"Fuzzy. Sleep tablets take it out of me." She reached for the glass of water on the bedside table and Happy held it for her as she sipped from the straw. "It's quiet here. Where is everyone?"

Happy took a deep breath before answering, not really sure how to continue. "Ysabel and the kids will be round later. She popped by last night but you were asleep."

"Harley? She usually brings me breakfast before work and we chat."

Happy frowned, feeling the guilt sting the back of his throats knowing his girl had woken up extra early every day to have breakfast with his Ma before going to work a full day.

"She... she uh, she's staying with Roxy for a bit." Happy looked down at his hands.

"Oh _mijo que paso?_ " Mari croaked.

"I dunno Ma." Happy's voice caught in his throat. "I dunno what the fuck came over me. She caught me doing some shit and then I got drunk and... I fucked up... big time." He cleared his throat, still unable to look at his mother.

"Oh Happy... what did you do?" Though she already figured the answer.

"I lost control. I fucking hit her, I don't even know what happened. One minute we were arguing and the next I had her up against the fucking wall, I blacked out... Ma I dunno what to do..." Happy croaked, barely holding it together.

"Oh _mijo. Eres un idiota._ You let yourself get too hot headed! That girl has been nothing but the best for you and this is what you do!"

"I'm sorry Ma! I never meant it to happen!" Happy protested.

"It isn't me you should be sorry to..." she sighed and calmed down. "I just want you to be happy, it's all I ever wanted..." she sobbed slightly. "I don't want you to be alone when I go, it's my worst fear." She admitted through tears.

Happy pulled her up slightly for a hug. "I'm so sorry I disappointed you. I promised I'd never be like him..."

Mari tsked as Happy let her go. "Don't be stupid. You are not like him. This is a lapse in judgement. A stupid one, but a lapse none the less. I've never known you to do this before and you damn sure won't do it again. You make this right with her. However she sees fit."

"Don't think she's gunna want to make it right."

"Then you be patient. Prove your worth." Mari sighed and looked up at the ceiling, noticing the paint flaking in the corners. "And just promise me when I kick the bucket you'll repaint this ceiling for her. It's a mess."

"Fine. I'll paint the ceiling."

"Now go get me some yoghurt. I'm hungry for once." She tried to smile reassuringly at her grown son as he left the room, but the sinking fear in her stomach told her he'd never make this right with Harley.

xxx xxx

Harley was quiet through breakfast and well into the morning. She wasn't sure what to do with herself and knew she probably should have gone to work. But Roxy hadn't packed business attire and figured that was her way of telling her to stay off.

However Lyla had called asking if she'd come in to take a look at audition tapes with her this afternoon and she couldn't pass it up.

"Reckon you could take me by my house Juice?" She asked, probably the only sentence she'd said all morning.

Juice looked at Roxy and back at Harley before nodding. "Of course."

"Sure that's a good idea Harley?" Roxy queried.

"Yeah I need to get some stuff, Lyla needs me at the studio." She finished her coffee. "Plus I need to see Hap. Sort this out. I'll let him and Mari stay at mine as long as they need."

"You are welcome to stay here as long as they're at yours." Roxy offered with a smile.

"Thanks. Seriously. I dunno what I'd do without you two. You're my family." She smiled and Juice placed a kiss on her head as he passed with the empty coffee cups.

"C'mon I'll take you there and then come back for my bike." Juice grabbed the car keys and gave Carlos a quick kiss followed by a slightly longer one for Roxy.

The ride over to her house was tense, Harley had some idea of what to say to Happy but that all depended on his mood. If he was angry then she'd throw it right back at him but she did hope they could have a quiet and calm conversation about everything that happened.

"I'll wait in the living room while you guys chat." Juice insisted as he followed her to the door.

Harley simply nodded and unlocked her front door. The day nurse was there so she didn't think Juice had to worry too much but she knew it would ease his anxiety.

Harley moved slowly through the house, the day nurse was just coming out of Mari's room and Harley had seen no sign of Happy before bumping into her. Yet his bike was here.

"Oh Mr. Lowman is in the shower." The nurse smiled to Harley before taking the empty tea tray back to the kitchen.

" _Querida?_ Is that you?" Mari's voice called shakily from beyond the door.

Harley gave Juice a weak smile before stepping in to Mari's room. "Yeah Mari, it's me." She called softly as she moved over to the chair.

"Oh _mija._ He did this to you?" Mari gasped as she took in Harley's swollen cheek. Her nose was a nice shade of red while her cut lip and cheek were both bruised blue and yellow surrounding the cuts. The bruise across Harley's neck was also very prominent along with the hand prints on her upper arms.

"Yeah..." Harley said, unable to explain.

"Oh I can't believe him!" Mari smacked the bed with her hand. "Why would he be so stupid?! _No puedo perdonarlo!"_ She hissed.

"In English please." Harley promoted her. Mari often switched between the two languages, which was fine for Happy but Harley only knew basic Spanish.

"I cannot forgive him! What was he doing? Oh I'm so sorry."

Harley took Mari's hands in hers and squeezed them softly. "It's not your place to forgive him Mari. It's between us. Please don't have any bad blood between you two right now. He needs you now more than ever."

"I could say the same for you." Mari answered knowingly.

"That's not a path we can go down right now. I need time to cool off. I just came by to get some things and make arrangements."

"I can go with Ysabel, or we can find something Harley. Don't worry about us." Mari offered sympathetically.

"Don't be silly Mari. This is your home, you'll stay. Happy can too so you can have time together. I don't mind. I couldn't be here alone anyway knowing I'd kicked you out to live at the clubhouse or something." She chuckled.

They didn't get much more talking in before Happy knocked on the door, he was clearly fresh out the shower, a light sheen of water still showing on the skin exposed by his wife beater top paired with his usual jeans. He stepped into the room catching Harley off guard.

Harley gave Mari a quick kiss and goodbye before taking her leave. "I'll be in the bedroom grabbing some things if you want to talk." She said to Happy as she passed.

Happy sighed and looked over toward his Ma. "Guess I better..."

"Yes. You better make this right." She said firmly.

Happy sighed and trailed across to their bedroom, not sure what to expect when he got in there. He knocked on the door and pushed it open gently when he heard her soft 'come in'.

Harley was sitting on the bed, playing with the tips of her hair trying to get everything straight in her head before she opened her mouth.

As soon as Happy saw her face he wanted to punch himself, it was all swollen and cut up and her cheek had stitches in it. He knew that'd leave some kind of scar.

"Fuck, baby I'm so sorry-" he started as he walked over to her.

"Don't. Happy, please don't say you're sorry." She looked up at him as he stood in front of her before kneeling at her legs.

"It's the only thing I can say. I've never been more sorry in my life. I _never_ **wanted to hurt you Harley. I don't know what came over me." He rasped.**

"Me either. But for the first time since I've known you... I was scared of you Hap. So scared, I thought you were really gonna hurt me. I think you would have if Roxy hadn't come out." Tears started falling down Harley's cheeks.

"Please don't cry baby." Happy whispered, wanting nothing more than to touch her and comfort her.

"I love you more than I've ever loved anyone, but I can't do this Hap. It's just too much. You hurt me too much."

"No. Harley please! It'll never happen again, I know every guy says that and it's bullshit but it never will. I'd rather hand in my kutte and meet the reaper than hurt you again."

"I can't do it Hap. I just don't trust you any more..." Harley sobbed and Happy could feel the start of tears behind his eyes. "I know I said some nasty shit last night and practically dared you to hit me, I almost wanted you to. I was hurting so much inside from what you'd done at the clubhouse that I didn't care if I hurt outside too. Guess I got my wish." Harley wiped some of the tears off her cheeks.

"No, Harley all that was bullshit on my part. You should be able to say whatever without me beating your ass. I was drunk and stupid and I know it doesn't excuse it but I promise it won't happen again. Please baby? You can't do this. I need you." Happy had started crying now but didn't notice it until Harley's thumb swiped a tear from his cheek, he leant in to her hand, enjoying her soft touch and knowing it was more than he deserved.

"You'll be ok." She dropped her hand.

"No I won't." He grabbed her wrist, then loosened his grip when she flinched. "Please, I don't want to lose you Harley. I don't want to lose our future together over my stupidness. I'll make it up to you however you want. But this can't be over, not now..."

Harley choked back a sob at the sight of Happy breaking down in front of her. She'd never seen him cry, not when he told her about Ariana and not during any of this crap with his Ma he hadn't cried once. Now he was on his knees in front of her begging for another chance. But she couldn't do it. Not now. The trust was gone in every way. And she was being honest before, she was scared of him.

"I'm sorry Hap. I can't do it." She wriggled her hand out of his grip. "You and Mari can stay here as long as you need. Roxy and Juice have offered me to stay there."

Happy sighed, Chibs' words ringing in his ears. He had to agree with whatever Harley wanted. Didn't mean he'd give up though. "We can't do that. This is your house Harley. Why don't you stay?"

"I can't be around you Happy. Plus I invited you both here. It's as much your house as mine." She shrugged.

Happy sighed and wiped the last stray tears off his face. "This can't be it." He said to himself.

"It has to be." Harley let it hang in the air for a moment, unable to look at him. "Maybe you weren't ready for all this." She stood to start packing what she came in for.

Happy stood after her and gently stopped her from going to her drawers. "This was all I ever wanted, think I've just realised it too late. It took me so long to tell you I love you and now it's all I ever want to say to you." He slowly reached a hand up to stroke under the bruise on her cheek. "I love you Harley and even if you walk out right now I'll still spend every day hating myself and doing what I can to make it up to you." He said seriously.

Harley watched the flash of passion behind his coal dark eyes. She wanted so bad to just hug him right now and let him take all the pain away. That's what usually happened when she was with him. But she couldn't give him that power. He'd hurt her too much.

She broke away from his embrace gently. "Don't waste your time on that Hap." She wiped away another tear. "Mari needs you right now. Give her your undivided attention. She deserves it." She started grabbing some work clothes and extra toiletries. "I'll come by whenever you need to go out and need me to look after her. Just call Juice and let him know."

"Why can't I call you?" He asked as he watched her fill the suitcase.

"Because I need space, Happy." She sighed.

"Ok. I'll give you space. But I'll wait for you as long as it takes."

Harley shut the clasps on the suitcase. Sure she'd forgotten most of what she needed but she couldn't do this, her resolve was breaking.

"I'll see you later Happy." She walked past him without even looking at him, she knew she'd break if she saw the lost look in his eyes again.

She dropped the suitcase at the door to go in and say bye to Mari. Happy could hear their soft murmurings and sighed, wishing it was just a normal day. He could feel the nurse's gaze on him from her spot in the kitchen as he picked up the suitcase and took it out to Harley's car. It was unlocked so he loaded it in the trunk, fighting the urge to throw it across the lawn.

Harley came down the steps not long after he shut the trunk. She didn't walk up to him, just stopped at the driver's door.

"I'll see you later." She said softly, still not looking at him.

"Whenever you need anything just tell me." Was all he could offer. "I am sorry." He added one last time. "I never wanted shit to turn out this way. You don't deserve any of this."

Harley lifted her eyes to his. "Neither do you Happy." She said softly, Mari's words ringing in her ears, all she wanted was for Happy to be _happy_. "Go be with your Ma." She stroked his arm as she pushed him toward the house softly before dropping her touch and getting into the car.

Happy made it to the porch steps in time to see her reverse and pull away from the drive, he felt like all the air had left his lungs and he dropped heavily to the steps and pulled out a joint.

It was the same heartbreak he felt when he lost Ariana and he dropped so low that it damn near killed him. But this time he couldn't go any lower, this time he was truly fucked.


	134. Chapter 134

**A/N: omg the response to the last couple chapters was unreal!! I'm so glad you're all enjoying the drama and like how I've written it and Harley. There's just too many of you to thank this time round!**

 **Shits gunna get real in the next couple chapters and hopefully we see a happy ending for at least one of our couples ;)**

 **As always, read, review, and enjoy!!**

 **xxx xxx**

Juice moved outside a few minutes after he heard Harley's car leave but Happy hadn't come in. He found him on the steps smoking a joint and sat down next to him taking out his own joint, not saying anything.

"How's Roxy?" Happy asked eventually.

"Pissed." Juice answered.

Happy nodded silently. "How are you?" He broached the elephant in the room.

"Pissed." Juice sighed. "I trust that my family is always gunna be safe with you Hap. And they weren't last night. Roxy had a fucking nightmare last night for the first time in months. Her screaming woke me up and took me fucking ages to calm her down. That's on you Hap. She never shoulda been put in that position where she had to protect her friend. Where she was scared of you." Juice wasn't exaggerating. Roxy had flashbacks to the Lin experience just brought on by the stress of the violent situation.

Happy nodded again and threw the burnt out roach into the garden bed. "I know. And if it's any consolation I fucking hate myself for what happened."

"It's not really. We're brothers Hap, I don't want you to be in this mess and I don't wish any bad shit on you." Juice stubbed his joint out too and threw it after Happy's. "But I dunno how you're gunna make this right."

"I don't think I can." Happy turned to face Juice.

Juice sighed heavily. "I'm not trying to make ya feel worse. Truly. Just didn't expect it of you. I mean I lost my shit back when I cheated on Rox. Similar situation I guess." He rubbed the bridge of his nose frustratedly. He hated thinking of that night here in this house. He let his drunken temper take control and he lashed out, more out of frustration with himself than Roxy. Even though he'd been pissed at her thanks Roosevelt and Lincoln Potter's lies. "Guess I can empathise with the feeling. But man, I never hit her. I hit the wall, then the door... I dunno man."

"I know, I know. I didn't think I had it in me either to be honest." They sat in silence for a moment. "I'd seen my dad to it to my Ma for years. I always promised myself I'd never be like him... guess I failed there. Ma's pissed at me for that reason and that's the last thing I want on her mind now. I fucking hate I've disappointed her like that..." he took a shuddering breath trying to keep himself in check, not wanting to cry in front of Juice like this. "I don't want her last memories of me to be that."

Happy was surprised to feel Juice's hand on his shoulder, squeezing in a reassuring manner. "Look bro, you're not like that. Not really. I know it's a fucking stressful situation and I know you love Harley... just give her some time. Maybe you can patch things up."

"Think we're past that now. And I got no one to blame but myself." Happy stood and left Juice to it. "I'll see ya later brother."

Juice nodded and got to his feet. "Yeah. I'll swing by later if you need anything."

xxx xxx

Harley had answered a million and one questions from Lyla that afternoon. Lyla, like Roxy, couldn't believe Happy had snapped like that. Eventually they had managed to get some work done but Lyla insisted Harley take the next couple of days off, saying she'd never have called her in if she'd known what had happened. She'd been pretty much running RedWoody recently while Harley was looking after Mari.

Harley was supposed to be heading back to Juice and Roxy's but she had some stuff in Happy's dorm that she'd left. Her laptop charger she could really live without and just borrow one off Juice, but it was in the laptop bag she'd left in his room. And the laptop bag had a USB in it with some RedWoody stuff on it. She was planning on working on some stuff while she holed up at Juice and Roxy's and for that she needed this USB.

So instead of turning off Main Street to the Ortiz Household she continued straight and headed over to TM and the clubhouse, praying that Happy wouldn't be there.

Harley scanned the lot when she pulled in and breathed a sigh of relief when she noted that Happy's bike wasn't there. Glad that he was obviously at home with Mari.

Entering the clubhouse she was greeted by Tig and, unfortunately, Rat. It seemed quiet with just a few girls scattered around. She spotted the chick she knew to be the one she walked in on with Happy but decided to take the high road. She was welcome to him.

"What ya doin' here princess?" Tig asked softly as he gave Harley a one armed hug.

Harley lent her head against his shoulder as they walked over to the bar. "Just came to grab some shit outta Hap's dorm while he's not around."

"Should you be in there when he's not here?" Rat asked snarkily.

"Fuck off dickweed." She snapped back and Rat immediately tensed.

"Hey I'm not a prospect any more. You can't talk to me like that in my clubhouse." He snarled.

Harley tensed at the words, sounding too much like Happy's the previous night.

"Hey! Back off Rat. You asked for that one. Go and fucking stock the bar or some shit. Make yourself useful." Tig said while cuddling Harley closer. Rat rolled his eyes but obeyed Tig's order. Tig may not have held an officer's position any more but he was still senior in the club and had to be obeyed as such. "Ignore him princess."

Harley smiled at the nickname. He had always called her that from a little kid. Roxy was doll and she was princess. It reminded her of her dad who'd called her that too and she frowned.

"Hey? You with me?" He asked when he noticed her staring off into space.

"Yeah Tiggy. Sorry. Reckon you could let me into Hap's dorm? I'll only be a sec and you can stay there if you think you should." She asked nervously. "I just want my laptop bag and the clothes I'd left in there."

"Course I can. I won't hang around though, I trust you to be sensible." He knew Harley wasn't vindictive and wouldn't trash his room. "How you holding up?" He asked as they walked.

"Mmm ok I suppose." She looked down at the ink on her forearm and scowled before looking away.

"You'll figure it out." He said as he opened the door for her and let her in.

"Dunno if I want to Tig." She sighed and walked past him into the room.

She was hit instantly with his smell, the cologne he used, the cigarettes he smoked, and her breath caught.

"You be ok in here?" Tig asked, eyeing her as she froze in her spot.

"Y-yeah, I'll be fine. I'll be out in a second." She mumbled as she stepped forward to the laptop bag.

Tig could sense she needed to be alone and turned on his heel to head over to his dorm to wait on her. Leaving Harley in peace.

Harley snapped out of it and quickly gathered her things, finding a plastic bag she went through his drawers and shoved her clothes into it. Eventually she made her way over to the bed and opened his bedside drawer to grab her spare birth control pills and phone charger. As she rummaged through the drawer she noted the condoms and and frowned, knowing he hadn't needed the condoms with her for ages and that they were a new addition to the drawer. Probably grabbed a string of them off one of the boys before he dragged that skank in here the other night. She could feel the tears streaking down her face but they were out of anger, till she pulled out a row of photo booth photos that they'd taken at the cinema in Lodi. She'd forced him into it when they'd gone on a rare date back in the beginning. He was scowling in most of them but in the last one he was looking at her with a small smirk. She'd always wondered what happened to those photos, but here they were in his drawer. He'd obviously pinched them from her that night.

That's when her tears turned from angry tears to heartbroken tears and she let out a sob. This was it. Their relationship was done. The first relationship she'd had where she'd seen a future and now it was all gone in a puff of smoke.

"Oh Hap..." she stifled her sob with a hand to her mouth. It felt like he'd died or something. And she thought maybe he had? Like the Happy she'd been in love with had died because that Happy would never have done what the Happy from last night had done. He'd sworn to be faithful to her and by all accounts he'd been nothing but faithful to her the whole time. But then not only had he cheated but he cheated in their home town, while he was supposed to be with her, and she'd walked in on it. Then to top it off he'd roughed her up.

She set the photos down on the bedside table and stood, knowing she'd have to get out of there soon before Tig came looking and found her sobbing in a pile on the carpet.

She reached blindly behind her for her bags and her fingers found his tshirt. She pulled it close and gave it a small sniff and her heart twisted with the familiar smell. Sighing, and against her better judgement, she stuffed it in her clothes bag and stood to escape the room.

But then in walked Happy.

xxx xxx

Happy and his aunt had got into it and he figured he best leave for a while to let it cool off. Ysabel was _not_ impressed when she learned what had actually gone down and reamed him for the better part of half an hour before he stormed off. Of course she started going on about his old man and how she thought Happy was better than that and he couldn't take it. So he decided he'd go try and sleep in his dorm at the clubhouse, maybe drown his sorrows.

But when he reached his dorm, bottle of Jacks in hand, he realised the door was open. He was about to rage at whoever interrupted his privacy but he stopped dead when he saw Harley frozen in the middle of the room.

"I-I'm sorry Happy... I just came to get my stuff." She looked flustered and slightly scared and he rubbed a hand over his head in frustration.

Happy chose not to answer and moved over to sit on his bed and placed the bottle on his bedside table.

"I'm sorry for letting myself in I just needed my laptop bag and I didn't want to talk to you, I'll go now..." she made a move toward the door but Happy's hand circling her wrist stopped her. "Happy..." she warned.

Happy dropped his hand and looked up at her. "Look, I'm not pissed for you coming in here, I mean I'm fuckin camped out in your house for god's sake." He groaned in frustration and Harley shifted uncomfortably in her spot.

"Why are you here?" She asked after a moment.

"Ysabel chewed me out for what happened. I needed some space." He shrugged.

"Well I'm not gunna give you any sympathy." She scoffed.

"Not askin' for any." He looked up at her again. "I know you don't wanna be around me so when everything's done here with my Ma I'll leave. I'll patch back to Tacoma or somethin' whatever you need to move on." He dropped his eyes again.

"Hap you don't need to leave your home. We'll figure something out, I don't want you to be unhappy." She sighed. "Last night never should have happened. I never should have hit you first... I was just so pissed at you for doing what you did. Maybe if I had controlled myself you never woulda lost your temper." She put the bag on the floor, knowing this conversation would take a minute.

"Don't think I'll ever be happy again babe. None of it was your fault. You had every right to slap me. I was an absolute asshole. You've done nothing but be there for me. For my family." He shrugged and grabbed the Jacks bottle and took a healthy swig. He cleared his throat before continuing, a look of intense concentration on his dark face. "The words around my neck are a fucking joke." He started. "You know I love you. I'm sorry it took so long for me to tell you that, and I probably never said it enough, but I do. Always will. And I'm sorry that it had to end like this. Always knew I wasn't good enough for you, but I didn't think it'd happen like this and for that I'm sorry. I'll never forgive myself for what happened."

Harley pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. Here she was wearing the bruises he'd given her, evidence of his anger and lost control, but instead of anger towards him she felt pity. Something she never thought she'd feel for him.

"I gotta go. Just... don't make any rash decisions. Just give me some time to get over this. To heal, maybe?" She gestured to her face and he looked up and flinched.

"Yeah, course." He looked away from the bruise on her throat and sighed.

"I'll see you in a few days, I'll pop in and see Mari." She gathered up her bags.

"Ok."

And with that she was gone, clicking the door shut softly behind her and leaving Happy to his thoughts.

xxx xxx

"Harley's gone for a drive. Said she be back later." Roxy put her phone back on the countertop. She'd messaged asking where she was over an hour ago. Her and Juice had already eaten and were getting ready to put Carlos to bed.

Roxy had read somewhere that starting a bed time routine early on helped the baby learn the difference between night time and day time so she was hoping it'd help get them longer sleeps at night. They were pretty lucky so far in that because he was formula fed he slept for longer chunks of time. Apparently breastfed babies had to wake to feed more often. It was one fact a midwife had used to cheer her up on the fact she couldn't breastfeed.

Juice came up behind her and kissed her neck softly, earning a hum of pleasure from Roxy.

"You ok Juicy?" She asked as he ran his hands down her sides as she tidied their mess from dinner.

Juice stopped her and spun her around so her back was against the countertop. "Y'know I'm proud of you? For how you handled shit last night."

"Why?"

"It can't have been easy to listen to that going on and then to pull a gun on Happy. I'm sorry you had to do it but I'm glad you could."

Roxy placed a hand on his chest. "We've been through this. You don't have to be sorry."

Juice shrugged. "Just want you safe, I promised after all that last year that I'd never let anyone hurt you again. I take that promise seriously."

Roxy cupped his cheeks with her hands and stroked them with her thumbs. "I know you do. And I appreciate it. But there's gunna be things that happen that are outside of your control and I don't want you to blame yourself for it. I know you love and would do anything for me and that's all that matters. Ok?"

"Ok." He nodded and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Let's get him to bed so we can cuddle." She decided.

Juice didn't have to be asked twice so he picked Carlos up from the bouncer and took him through to the nursery to get him undressed while Roxy ran a bath.

Juice loved watching Roxy bath the baby, she was so gentle and soft and Carlos just stared adoringly at her the whole time.

When they were done Juice re dressed Carlos and passed him to Roxy who gave him a bottle in bed and within half an hour he was out for the count.

Roxy changed into her pajamas and joined Juice in bed, Carlos sleeping peacefully in the bassinet next to their bed.

"So... cuddling?" Juice questioned with a smirk as Roxy curled into him as best she could. At 3 weeks postpartum she was still pretty sore from the c section, but healing nicely.

"Well not that kind of cuddle... just wanted to be close to you is all." She said softly as her fingertips danced along his chest.

Juice wrapped her arm tighter around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. "Love you."

Roxy pulled herself up slightly so she could reach his lips. "Love you too." She mumbled before pushing onto him in a deep kiss.

Juice stroked her hair as she deepened the kiss, allowing Roxy to control the pace. Before long she was nipping his neck and running her hand down his chest.

Roxy broke away from him slightly so she could admire his body as her hand slid down toward its destination. She loved his body, it was totally shallow of her but he was just so hot. His smile had drawn her in first, with the cheeky glint to his eyes, but when she'd first seen him without a top on she almost died. And it just got better since then. His time in Stockton had made him lean and toned, cut in every way, and since then he'd really kept it up. It made her feel a bit guilty for not taking more care of her physique but he insisted she was hot and never pushed her to change anything about her.

"Hey, my eyes are up here." He joked when he realised she was staring. He loved that he turned her on like this and took great pride in his body. It was hard work looking like this. Mainly he worked out to keep his anxiety down but this was a good side effect.

"Can't help it, you're just _so_ hot." She said in a sultry tone as her hand slipped beneath his boxers.

Juice groaned when he felt her hand wrap delicately around his cock and Roxy stifled a giggle into his neck. They didn't get very far though as within a couple of seconds they heard the front door slam and Harley call out for Roxy.

"Fuuuuuck." Juice groaned and let his head fall back against the pillows.

Roxy gave him one last lingering kiss as she slid her hand up and down his length, moaning softly into the kiss. "I don't wanna stop baby, but I have to. Why don't you go for a nice hot shower and just pretend it's me."

Juice kissed her quickly before she hopped out of bed and slid a sweatshirt on over her tank top, winking as she left the room.

 _3 more weeks and I'm fucking her in that shower._ He thought as he got up to go take care of himself. _Jax and Tara can have Carlos and we're re christening every fucking room in this place._

xxx xxx

"So what happened?" Roxy sat down with Harley on the sofa after getting them each a glass of wine.

"Not much. Lyla was good. She's gunna keep things rolling for me so I don't need to worry about the studio." Harley said nonchalantly.

"That what made you go for a drive?" Roxy quirked an eyebrow, knowing there was more to the story.

Harley took a long gulp of wine before continuing. "Swung by the clubhouse to get my laptop bag from Hap's dorm. Tig let me in. I figured Hap would be at home and I could get in and out quickly. But I ended up bumping into Happy just before I left his room."

"Oh... how'd that go?"

"It was sad to be honest. Like I had this moment in his room of like mourning what I'd lost I guess. Then he came in all depressed and it kind of wound me up. He has no right to be sad. He did this! He brought it on himself and he wants me to feel sorry for him. Fuck that. And fuck him."

"I see."

"Basically I left there and just drove around being pissed off at him."

Roxy laughed. "Sounds like it."

Harley stared down at the crow on her arm and sighed. It was so intricate and beautifully done, Happy had taken his time and it clearly was a labour of love, even though it'd be a year almost before he'd actually say the words to her. She'd chosen to have it on the underside of her forearm, just below her elbow, because she wanted people to see it. Wanted everyone to know she was his. But now it was just a painful reminder. She'd have a scar on her face too as a permanent reminder... but at least the crow could be covered.

"Hey, wanna come with me to Oakland?" She asked Roxy without taking her eyes off the crow.

"Why? What's in Oakland?" Roxy watched Harley's unreadable expression.

"Salvation Ink. It's where Big Danny works."

Roxy was confused. "And you want to get a tattoo now? Why?"

"I don't really want a tattoo. More that I want to see what I'd need to do to get this one covered." She scratched at the crow.

"Do you think that's a good idea?" Roxy was uneasy about this. MCs get pretty touchy about stuff like this and Happy would lose his shit.

"It's my body I'll do what I want."

"What if there's even a slight chance you'll get back together?"

"It's never gunna happen Rox. And even if it did, he's lost the right to have his mark on my body. After leaving this mark." She pointed to her cheek. "Nope. It's gotta go. I can't even think about moving on with this staring up at me all the time. It's bad enough I'm gunna have to cover this shit with makeup every day." She waved at her face again.

Roxy sighed heavily. "Look, I'm your best friend Harley, fuck I'm your sister, but I don't wanna be involved in you going against the club like this. You really should talk to Chibs first."

Harley scoffed. "It's not up to the club if I get something removed from _my_ body. If you don't wanna come then don't. I know Big Danny will help me out." Harley said confidently.

Big Danny was a friend of Harley and Roxy. They'd gone to school together and he'd gone off to become a tattoo artist. He'd done some work on a few of the girls who'd worked for Harley over the years, she always recommended him provided they weren't getting something distasteful. But Big Danny was known to the club and had even done one of Opie's early tattoos, back when Big Danny was using a backyard rig for his tattoos.

"I dunno. I don't think he'll want to piss off the club like that."

"Look I'm going. I've made up my mind. I'll give it a couple days but I'm pretty sure I'm not gunna change my mind. You can come with or not. It doesn't matter." Harley finished off her wine and stood up. "I'm gunna go to bed."

Roxy sighed as Harley left to go put her glass in the dishwasher. She sat there for a while thinking over everything. She knew Harley would go through with it. Once Harley had her mind made up that was it. She was stubborn as hell. What Roxy didn't want was for Harley to piss of the club. Happy deserved everything he got but there were ways to do shit like this and Harley was more focused on getting a rise out of Happy than doing this the right way.

Roxy jumped when she felt arms settle over her shoulders from behind. Heart racing in her chest she slowly relaxed when she heard Juice's voice in her ear.

"Sorry baby. Just me." He soothed her.

Having to deal with Happy like that had kind of set her off a bit. And Juice had been right in saying what he said about the nightmare. Just the stress of the situation, watching Happy go off like that and having to defend her friend had frightened her and broke down the wall in her mind slightly. She hated that she was on edge in her own home and frowned.

Juice came round and sat on the sofa next to her and Roxy finished her wine.

"So you never told me how it went. I'm assuming good?" She asked.

"Yup. Got the info we needed and stole their shipment. They got no idea it was us." He said confidently.

"Good. So what's the next step?"

"Dunno yet. Wait and see how this plays out. But them losing that product loses them a whole lotta money and it'll cripple them. We see how they handle that, how their buyers handle that, then clean up the mess."

Roxy nodded and slid closer to Juice, happy to hear their Iron Devils issue was dealt with. Hearing about them and their knowledge of Lin was what set her off initially and the Happy/Harley incident was just the icing on the cake. But she decided to distract herself.

She ran a fingertip down his jaw and pressed a kiss just below his ear before whispering. "And what about you? Are you handled?" She ran a hand slowly down his chest, still slightly clammy from the shower.

"I'm good babe, what about you?" He decided to play her game and ran a hand up her thigh to squeeze her ass.

Juice playfully bit her lip before slipping a hand under her sweat shirt when Carlos squawked out from their room. He let his head fall to her chest and groaned in frustration as Roxy sighed.

"Definitely giving him to Uncle Jax and Aunty Tara when you get the all clear. Little cock blocker." He groaned and pushed himself off the sofa to go and see to his son.

"Juan! You can't call him that." Roxy whisper shouted.

"What? It's the truth."

Roxy laughed while she tidied up and followed after Juice. She stopped in the doorway to watch as he rocked their son back to sleep and smiled, happy that at least for _once_ her little family was doing ok.


	135. Chapter 135

**A/N: here we go again :D hope you love what's coming ;)**

 **Thanks to _AngR_ , _Lennon,_ and _Katrina_! Love hearing your thoughts. **

**Please enjoy and let me know what you think! It's very motivating. I've had a hard time recently and writing is a great outlet so it's nice to hear what people think and to know they're enjoying your story. So lemme know! And guess what happens, it'll be interesting to see what you think hehe**

 **xxx xxx**

The next few days passed relatively quietly. Harley spent most of time with Roxy and Carlos and visited Mari once while Happy was busy at the clubhouse. She hadn't spoken to him since that time in his dorm room and he was giving her the space she needed.

Juice had told Roxy Happy was quieter than usual if that was even possible. But the club was letting him be so he could spend as much time with Mari as possible.

Things were quiet on the club front. It had been five days since the heist and they'd heard nothing through the grapevine about the Iron Devils other than they were scrambling to figure out what the hell had happened to their product. The Mayans had successfully sold on the product without waiting around and it was probably half way across the country by now. They didn't want to risk selling it on in Cali in case it got back to them.

So while everything seemed to be calm Juice and Roxy were making the most of family time. Juice had to work at the garage, though he'd cut back his shifts and luckily swapped out of the next two Indian Hills protection runs so he could spend time at home. Roxy decided to bring him some lunch with Carlos and spend his lunch break together.

Harley had decided to visit Mari as Happy had told Juice he was going out for the day. His Ma wanted some stuff from their storage unit in Bakersfield so that would tie up most of his morning.

Harley let herself into the house and noted how weird it was that it didn't really feel like her house any more. Maybe she'd rent it to the club and move on. She'd always fancied moving to San Francisco and had some contacts up there she could probably use for work. Lyla seemed to have a handle on shit here with RedWoody. But for now Charming was still home and she wasn't sure she was ready to leave it. She may no longer have actual family ties keeping her here but Roxy was here and she wanted to be involved in Carlos' life as much as possible.

"Hey Mari." She greeted softly as she came into her bedroom.

Mari sat up in bed a little with great difficulty and muted the telenovela she was watching. " _Querida..._ how are you?" She asked croakily. She still had the oxygen tubes in her nose and was extremely weak, but she brightened up seeing her adopted daughter.

"I'm doing ok. How are you?"

"Same old." She shrugged softly. "You are looking a bit better." She commented, the bruising on Harley's face and neck easing slightly.

"I do? I don't feel much better."

"Well Happy mopes around here all day long so I guess the feeling is mutual." She had to catch her breath after such a long sentence so Harley let her have a moment. "Have you thought about a reconciliation?"

"Every minute of every day." She sighed and Mari looked hopeful. "Don't get me wrong Mari I love him. Don't think I'll ever stop. But I don't trust him any more. Don't know if I can again. It's not just the fight. It was the cheating too. And god, when I looked into his eyes when he had me up against that wall he just... he just wasn't there y'know? I've never been scared of him. I've always known what he's done for the club but I always trusted 100% that he'd never hurt me. That he'd stop himself... but he didn't. I don't want to risk that again... I'm scared of him and I don't think that'll go away." Mari brushed a tear away from her eye and Harley placed a smooth hand over her wrinkled one. "Please don't cry Mari."

"I just don't want him to be alone." She croaked.

"He won't be Mari. He has the club and everyone with it. They won't abandon him. He'll always have family there."

"It's not the same. And it's his own stupid fault but I don't want to leave my boy." Mari was sobbing in earnest now and it started off a coughing fit.

The day nurse immediately ran into the room when it started and fiddled with some stuff on her drip machine that was pushing drugs into her system. Sadly Mari was on constant morphine and other stuff to help her heart. It was costing Happy a fortune but he didn't care. It wasn't like he had anything else to spend the money on and he wanted his Ma's last days to be comfortable.

"I've just pushed a sedative Harley. She needs to rest." The nurse said.

Harley nodded her thanks and turned her attention back to Mari who's breathing was slowing and evening out, allowing her to catch her breath.

"Mari I promise I'll look after him. Even if we're not together." Harley assured. It would probably kill her to do it but she needed to offer Mari some kind of promise for her son. She loved them both and couldn't let Mari die worrying about her son.

Mari's eyes fluttered closed and Harley sighed. She placed a kiss on Mari's cheek and left the nurse with her. She decided while she was there to grab some more clothes from her room. When she walked in she noted Happy's clothes were no longer in the dresser or the wardrobe, all his knick knacks and toiletries were gone. Everything was packed neatly into some bags lined along the wall of the room. It was as if he'd packed everything for a quick exit and was just living out of his suitcase in the mean time. She was guessing he intended to leave as soon as everything with Mari was done and it pained her to think of that.

Harley sat down on the perfectly made bed and weighed up her options some more. She went back and forth on her relationship with every minute of every day. At this point she was leaning towards emptying all his bags back into the drawers but when she looked up and caught sight of her bruised and cut reflection she shook her head.

Harley glanced back at the crow perfectly branded into her skin and frowned. _No._ She thought. As much as he was hurting inside he'd forced that hurt out and onto her and it wasn't right. She couldn't get right with that.

So she gathered her things and, decision made, headed to the clubhouse.

xxx xxx

"Daddyyyyyyy..." Roxy whined while waving Carlos' little pudgy arm at Juice, "come play with us..." she whinged.

Juice chuckled from under the hood of the Chevy he was working on.

"Babe we got cars fuckin backed up in here, I can't." He smiled at Carlos as he threw his grease rag over his shoulder and started to walk round the hood of the car to give them a quick cuddle.

"But we wanna play." Roxy pouted.

"Oh I'll play alright." Juice said suggestively as he ground up against Roxy, pressing her back into the car.

"Hey! The baby, Juice!" She playfully pushed him with her free hand.

"He won't remember shit." He nipped at her ear lobe. "I want you." He ran his hand down her side to rest gently on her hip, nudging against her slightly.

"Mmmm I can tell. Only a couple more weeks babe." She smirked as she pushed him away one handed.

Juice groaned and pulled back. "Stop teasing."

Roxy just answered him with a wink. "Fine we'll leave you alone. I'll be over in the clubhouse... _daddy._ " She smacked his ass before walking off with Carlos. He was due a bottle anyways.

Roxy found Tara in the clubhouse and made her way over. She made up Carlos' bottle and snuggled down with him in the booth seat across from Tara.

"How is everything?" Tara asked softly as she helped Thomas with some sandwiches, Abel colouring quietly next to them.

"Yeah going ok. Aside from the whole Harley/Happy situation."

Tara smiled sympathetically. "Must be hard with her at your place with the baby and all."

"Nah it's ok. We actually get some time to ourselves every night! Harley loves cuddling him for a bit so it works out. Just want her to be ok though."

"That's nice then. I know, it sucks doesn't it? I thought they were such a good fit. I mean we've known Happy so long and he's never actually been Happy, has he?" Tara asked rhetorically.

She was right. Since being a young member, Roxy, Harley, and an older Tara, had seen him on the odd occasion when SAMTAC visited Charming, and they'd heard plenty of MC rumours of him. Being that Roxy and Harley were just early teenagers at the time Happy had no time for them so they hadn't really met him properly until the year Roxy left for college when he'd actually give them the time of day. A teenage Tara, dating, a Sons prodigy, had met him more officially at the time but Happy had never been much of a talker.

He'd explained to Harley later on in their relationship that at the time he'd just never had interest in relationships with any person, male or female, outside his brothers since Ariana. That made sense as when they'd first met him he'd been freshly patched and still going through the grieving process while finding his place in the MC and he'd not been the nicest person. He'd chilled a bit and they'd actually spoken to him at one of the parties before Roxy left for New York.

"I know. Very sad. But it's his own fault." Roxy shrugged.

"Oh I don't disagree. Silly man." Tara frowned. "Which of those sluts was it anyways?" Tara nodded towards the bar where a group of sweetbutts and crow eaters had congregated, obviously waiting for the guys to come in for a lunch break.

"Harley said a blonde. Probably that little one over there." She pointed to the right of the group. "Keeps giving us the stink eye."

Tara snorted derisively. "I get that they're here for the guys and they wanna be an Old Lady some day but are they really that deluded to think he'd make them an Old Lady when he's already got one? Like do they not see that they're just disposable in that case?" Roxy shrugged at Tara's rant, paying more attention to Carlos feeding. "I mean there are plenty of single Sons why do they always have to go for the taken men? So frustrating." Tara obviously held some bitterness from Jax's indiscretions over the years. And if Roxy knew he brother, and she really did, there were _many_ indiscretions.

"It's a power play. Old Ladies get all the respect and power around the clubhouse. They don't. But by sleeping with our guys they undermine us. Have something over on us. Sad really."

"It'll be sad when Harley lays into that snitty bitch when she sees her." Tara laughed as the crow eater gave a particularly shit eating grin over to the table. Tara just knew she was thinking she had a shot with Jax.

"Won't have to wait long for that show down." Roxy pointed out as Harley strolled into the clubhouse.

Harley waved as she saw Tara and Roxy but decided she needed a drink first, so she walked over to the bar. "Vodka and coke please." She asked the sweetbutt behind the bar. The sweetbutt rolled her eyes and set about making up the drink. "Wanna actually give me a decent shot?" Harley asked haughtily when she saw the minuscule amount the girl poured in to the glass. The bar tender rolled her eyes and tipped the bottle up to give a hugely generous pouring. "Alright, less of the attitude, bitch." Harley said snippily.

"Who do you think you're talkin' to? You ain't an Old Lady no more." Sherry stood up to Harley.

Harley grabbed the vodka and coke and took a sip, using the straw to stir it some more, it was _heavy_ on the vodka. She sized up the pint sized blonde. It was definitely the girl she'd walked in on Happy nailing. The girl was way shorter than Harley, stubbier legs, squared shoulders, an ok rack and ass and nice curved waist, pretty but definitely not in Harley's league.

"Please bitch, Old Lady or not I'll always out rank used up pussy round here." She slammed a shoulder into Sherry's as she brushed past her. Harley turned on her heel after taking a sip of her vodka and said in a calm tone. "You're welcome to Hap by the way. He was just using you but whatever, his dick ain't my problem any more. But if you dare try rub this shit in my face I'll take you out there and kick your fuckin' midget ass." She gave a sarcastic wave and sashayed over to Roxy and Tara as the sweetbutts muttered after her. Harley didn't give a shit what they called her, she was confident and self assured. She knew she was MC royalty, she knew she was good looking and worked hard, and she knew that if she really wanted a member they'd drop a sweetbutt for her the second she clicked her fingers.

"Well that was entertaining." Roxy chuckled as Harley sat next to her.

"Gotta have something to brighten my days." Harley smirked. "Can you come with me to Oakland?" She asked Roxy.

"Sure, but why?" She sat Carlos up on her shoulder to burp him.

"Wanna see Big Danny about getting this covered. It's time."

"Isn't that a bit rash?" Tara interjected.

Harley shrugged. "Not rash enough in my opinion." She took another sip of her drink and grimaced at the taste. "He's got nothing on his body tying him to me. So when he decides to lie, cheat, abandon me, fuck me over, he gets out scot free. Me on the other hand? I gotta have a permanent reminder of his bullshit inked into my skin." She levelled her gaze at Tara. "You said once that yours is on your back and it was behind you. Mine isn't. It's right there, staring at me every time I look down. I hate it. I hate everything it represents and I want it gone."

Tara sighed and nodded. Harley was right, Tara's had been behind her and she used that symbolically. Plus she knew she'd never really get over Jax, never want to really cut ties with him so she hadn't. She hadn't left Jax because he'd hurt her, she left because she was suffocating in Charming. Harley's situation was really different. And she didn't envy her, at all.

Roxy sighed. "Look I'll come with you Harley but only if you _promise_ me you're not getting it done today. We'll go, see what Big Danny reckons and come home. Then you need to really think this through more. The club will lose its shit if you just go and do this on a whim without going through the proper channels and I can't be part of that."

"Fine." She shrugged and downed the last of her drink.

Roxy turned to Tara and smiled. "Would you mind looking after Carlos? Just till Juice gets off?"

Tara's eyes lit up. "Of course I don't mind!" She let Thomas toddle down from the seat, having finished his food, and held her arms out expectantly for her nephew.

"Ok Aunty Tara is going to look after you till daddy finishes work." Roxy cooed as she cuddled Carlos and gave him a big kiss on his pudgy cheek. "Mummy loves you baby boy." She gave him one last kiss and pointed out the nappy bag to Tara. "Bottles, formula, and nappies are in there. Thank you Tara!" Roxy decided to kiss him again as Tara cuddled him close and gathered her purse before following an impatient Harley from the clubhouse.

"Just gotta say goodbye to Juice. Be there in a sec." Roxy let Harley walk off to her car and ran over to Juice who was still working on the Chevy.

"Hey I'm just going with Harley to Oakland. I won't be back late." She said by way of announcing her presence.

"Oakland? What for?"

"To stop her making a huge mistake." She gave him a quick kiss and passed him her car keys. "Tara has Carlos till you get off here. Love you!" She turned to go but Juice grabbed her wrist and pulled her back.

"Ah ah ah. Why are you going?"

Roxy sighed and glanced over to see Harley tapping the roof of her car. "She's fixated on having her crow covered-" she was almost interrupted but cut him off- "I know, I know. That's why I'm going. She can have Big Danny take a look but not do anything yet. Not till she's sorted it. Plus you know he won't touch it when he sees it's Happy's ink. I'll be back later ok?"

Juice conceded with an exasperated eye roll. "You love making my life hard. Fine. I'll see you later baby. Be safe." He kissed her quickly. "Love you too."

Roxy tossed a smile over her shoulder as she walked off to join Harley at her car. "Ok. Let's go."

xxx xxx

Happy had got the stuff his Ma wanted and dropped it off but with his aunt still dark with him he decided to leave her to her visit and go down to the clubhouse. It had been a long ride and he just wanted to kick back with a beer. But as he turned down the street to TM he noticed Harley's car pull off towards the highway and wondered what she was doing. He could see Roxy in the car and nodded at her, Harley didn't see him.

Happy backed his bike into its spot near the front of the line and looked over to see Juice in the garage. He lit a smoke and sat on his bike as he wondered where Harley was going. She was driving out of town... he shrugged, trying to get over the feeling of unease and finished his smoke.

He tried to turn and walk to the clubhouse, a cold beer calling his name, but his burning curiosity got the better of him and stormed over to Juice.

"Where are the girls off to?" He grunted at the younger man.

Juice stiffened and shrugged. Not wanting to tell Happy but not wanting to lie either.

"Don't give me that. Where?" He demanded.

Juice sighed and threw the rag down on his toolbox. "Don't lose your shit, Hap." Happy looked at him expectantly, and with a rather menacing glint to his eyes. "Oakland."

"Why they going there? And unescorted?"

Juice frowned not thinking it was an issue. Everything was cool with them and Oakland. "Salvation Ink. Harley's wanting Big Danny to take a look at her ink."

Happy's fists clenched and he kicked the crate hebwas standing next to clear across the garage. He knew she had no ink other than his. Something he'd found really fucking hot. Dog looked up from his bay, ready to intervene if needed.

"You let your Old Lady take mine to have her ink covered?" He stalked towards Juice who raised his hands in surrender.

"I didn't _let_ her do shit! She's going so she can _stop_ Harley covering it up. She's gunna inquire either way, best Rox goes with her to run interference." Juice explained calmly.

Happy breathed out hard. "She better fuckin stop it before I get there." He turned and stalked off to his bike and jumped back on, clipping his helmet he roared his bike to life and sped out of the lot, hot on Harley's heels.

Juice swore and pulled his phone from his pocket and dialled Roxy.

xxx xxx

"Oh for fucks sake Juan! Why did you tell him?" Roxy wailed into the phone. "I don't care about the fucking brothers code. This is _not_ gunna be pretty... fine... ok, ok, we will... alright... love you too... bye." She ended the call and groaned loudly.

"He told Happy?!" Harley was so frustrated she smacked the wheel with one hand.

"Happy demanded and Juan didn't want to lie. Brothers code or some shit."

"God they are suck bitches." She sighed. "I can't fucking bring this shit into Big Danny's shop. He'll hate me forever."

"Maybe we should turn around." Roxy sighed, flicking her cigarette butt out the window.

"Maybe he can suck my dick." Harley snapped. "Nah. He can follow me on a goose chase. I don't give a shit. If he catches up I'll stop. If not he can have a wasted trip to Oakland and me and you can get ice cream or some shit. Go another day."

"Don't poke the bear." Roxy warned, not wanting to get in the middle of another domestic. Especially not miles away from backup.

Harley just shrugged and turned up the music. They continued on the highway for about ten minutes when Roxy heard the faint rumbling of a bike behind them and gritted her teeth. He'd found them.

Happy sped up behind the car, flashing his light and revving hard. Harley flipped him the bird out the window but that just angered him more and he moved up to the passenger window and yelled through the open glass.

"Pull the fuck over before I shoot out your tyre!" He roared over the wind.

Harley cursed him out and indicated for the next turn off. It was a quiet farm road and she drove down a couple minutes before pulling into a rest stop, yanking up the handbreak and swinging her door open with a wild ferocity.

"What the fuck is your problem, Lowman?!" She yelled as he dismounted his bike.

"My problem?! What the fuck is your problem?!" He growled as he stalked over to her.

Roxy just shrunk down in her seat and sent a sarcastic thank you text to Juice while she listened to the growing argument.

"You wanna cover _my_ fuckin ink?!" He snapped, face to face with her.

"It's not your ink any more Hap. It's _my_ body and I get to choose what's on it and I _don't_ want some cheating asshole's ink permanently branded into my skin!" She knew she was adding fuel to the fire but after that original fight she didn't care any more. She was being self destructive and didn't care in the slightlest.

" _Your_ body?" Happy stepped dangerously close. "You wanna black it out so you can find some other dick?" He growled but Harley just rolled her eyes. "Coz no other dick can please you like I can, no one else can fuck you like I can," he moved closer and pinned her against the car with his body, primal urges taking over, Harley biting her lip just urging him on, "make you cum like I can," he nipped her neck, and he paused, "or love you like I can..." his voice cracked on that admission and he buried one of his hands in her hair as he buried his face in her neck. Almost begging her to reconsider.

Harley gripped his shoulders with that forceful admission and almost cracked but then she caught herself and pushed him back. "Maybe. But no one else could hurt me like you can," she held him at arms length, "like you did." Her breath hitched as she said that last part and Happy's dark eyes filled with emotion as he took in the pain etched into her face. Both figuratively and literally where he could still see the healing cuts and bruises.

He released her and stepped back a pace, his shoulders slumped in defeat. He looked at the ground for a moment before back up to catch her watery gaze, his heart breaking all over again. "Fine. You still wanna do this in a month's time and I'll cover it myself. Don't go to some other asshole like a coward."

Harley scoffed, with his last words the moment was over. "Y'know what Hap? We broke up-" he flinched at the definite tone in her voice, having still been under the impression they were just on a break while she worked it out- "you get to move on, no questions asked. You don't have some bitch's name inked in your skin for the rest of your life. You can do what you want. But me? I gotta walk around with some other dude's name, his mark, inked into my body. How can I move on with that there reminding me, reminding everyone I belonged to someone else? How do I move on Happy?"

"I'll never fucking move on from you. Ink or no ink. Hell I'll ink your fucking name on my forehead if it'll make you reconsider." He paced in front of her. "What the fuck else do you need me to do to forgive me? Huh?"

"I can't Hap!" She wailed.

The argument would have continued, the same one they'd had before, if it wasn't for Roxy's frantic voice popping up from the side of the car.

"Uh guys? We got company!" She alerted the pair.

Happy finally tore his gaze from Harley and whipped round at the panic in Roxy's voice.

Up ahead there were a handful of bikes followed by a white, windowless van. "Oh shit!" He cursed, knowing there was no way for them all to escape. "Get in the fucking car and bail!" He ordered the girls. "Call the guys and get as far away from here as possible." He urged as he whipped out his matching Glocks from their holsters under his kutte.

Harley panicked, she couldn't leave him here, not outnumbered like this. "Happy no!" She grabbed hold of his arm, eyes pleading for him to come too. "Come with us."

"Too risky. Now go!" The group was far too close now and he knew they'd missed their window, as small as it was.

The bikes roared to a stop in front of them and before their engines were off the three had more weapons trained on them than Harley or Roxy had seen before.

"Drop em!" A voice called over to Happy.

Happy cursed and flicked the safeties on his guns and threw them to the floor, knowing he had to play this very carefully. He never gave a shit what happened to him on the road but he needed to get the girls out of here safely.

"Good stuff." The other bikers walked forward and Happy recognised the patches and cursed silently to himself. "Guess it's our lucky day boys!" The cold voice called out. "Get on the ground. Now!"


	136. Chapter 136

**A/N: sorry about the cliffhanger haha keeps you all on your toes! More to come, I've got some of the next chapter written already so we should be good to go!**

 **Thanks to _Lennon, tellmesweetlittlelies, Katrina, docsangel,_ and of course _AngR_ for your constant support!**

 **Hope you enjoy! Tell me if there's anything you want to see more of. I'm trying to get it even with couples as I don't want to miss either Happy/Harley stuff or Juice/Roxy stuff. I'll endeavour to get stuff in that you lot wanna see :)**

 **Enjoy! And let me know what you think!**

 **xxx xxx**

"Y'know we were just starting our surveillance on the Sons today, see if we could track someone down alone. So imagine my surprise when my guys call me straight away to tell me they had spotted two Old Ladies and the SAA?" The leader drawled on. Happy grit his teeth at the annoying Boston accent but kept focused on the game plan. "Get em in the van." He ordered his men and the others rushed forward to grab the girls, and roughly shove them into the van, Happy growling and lunging forward as they put their hands on the girls.

"Easy buddy. We'll take good care of em." One of the larger patched members leered as he manhandled Harley into the van.

Happy was restrained immediately and shoved in after them. Two guys hopped in the back with them, armed, and tied the girls' hands behind their backs before frisking the three of them for phones and weapons, confiscating Harley's phone, Roxy's gun which she'd grabbed while the bikes approached, and Happy's many weapons and phone. Roxy's phone lying discarded in Harley's car.

Roxy was nearing a panic attack. This was too much like Lin's Crew all over again. Plus these guys had known Lin and knew what happened so the panic set in with all the possibilities this kidnapping could bring.

Harley brushed her arm against Roxy gently, trying to bring some sort of comfort while Happy just glared at their captors, plotting their eventual deaths.

"It's gunna be ok Rox, focus on your breathing." Harley whispered softly. But not soft enough, one of the men slapped her and told her to keep her trap shut.

Happy clenched his fists that were bound behind his back. But he didn't want to give any more outward reactions. It would add fuel to the fire. He'd been taken hostage a couple times before, or held as collateral, and he never really cared. But this time he had to play it safe so he could get the girls out. He didn't know what the Devils' plans were so he needed to keep his cool. And Happy was the king of cool.

Harley spared him a brief glance as the van smoothed out onto the highway, bumping around less allowing the girls to relax slightly. Happy's face was void of emotion and provided her with no comfort. Happy refused to look at her. Instead focusing on watching their captors. Surveying them for weaknesses and nerves.

So far he could tell the driver of the van was steady on his feet, probably similar to himself as his demeanour was cold and calculating. Happy got a vibe of skittishness from the lanky blonde in the passenger seat, it vaguely reminded him of Half Sack, he had the aura of someone young and dumb with no clue what he was getting involved in.

The large guy in the back was calm and kinda gross, he was of a similar build to Bobby, but slightly taller. Seemed a bit younger than Bobby had been but had a similar hairstyle. He looked like he would smell if you got too close and judging by the screwed up look on Harley's face he did. He was also looking down Harley's tank top, the cups of her bra peeking out slightly seeing as she hadn't had the chance to pull it up after being pushed around. Clearly that guy was going to be an issue.

They drove along in silence for about 20 minutes, Roxy and Harley were both looking to Happy for guidance but he was giving them nothing. He was sitting quietly, calmly observing what he could of their captors and of the road from what he could see out of the windscreen. He could see they had now left the highway and entered onto some kind of country road again.

Roxy winced as the van bounced about on some particularly rough gravel. Her incision had healed on the outside, just, but she was still _very_ tender. She couldn't lift anything heavier than the baby and wasn't to engage in any physical activity. So bouncing around in the back of a van with her hands tied behind her back was not optimum.

"You ok?" Harley whispered.

Roxy grit her teeth and shook her head.

"What did I fuckin say bitch? Keep it shut." Smelly growled.

Happy watched on with a glare but said nothing, the driver ended it before anything else happened.

"Leave it Frank! We're almost there." The warning made Frank sit back but didn't ease the tension in the van, the threat of what was to come was still clear.

Eventually the van stopped and the girls cowered into each other slightly as the driver and passenger hopped out to open the back doors. Frank pushed Happy towards the two other bikers as the rest of the crew dismounted their bikes. Happy noted his observations about the driver were correct, he was like him. The driver was the Devils' SAA.

Lanky, nervous guy's patches were crisp and clean meaning he was only recently patched in and Frank didn't appear to hold a patch.

Happy didn't stumble as he was wrenched from the van, nor did he say anything, simply following behind the SAA as he was dragged towards the barn. He didn't want to turn back to see the girls but he could hear them too being pulled from the van, Roxy's cry of pain alerting him to her condition. He'd need to watch that.

The president had been the one to speak to them at the side of the road and he led the way into the empty barn. Happy surveyed it discreetly. Two exits, the big tractor doors they'd just entered from and a small door on the side. The barn had a wrap around upper deck with heavy wooden poles leading from the floor to ceiling. It looked like there had once been farm equipment and hay bails stored on the upper deck but everything was long gone. There was nothing much of interest in the room except for a lone chair and a table containing what Happy recognised as tools of torture, seeing as he set his table up in much the same manner.

Happy still didn't freak out though. It wasn't in his nature. He had faith in his brothers. They'd have known they were missing by now, assuming that Juice had been messaging Roxy in the car before this happened. The radio silence would be a big clue. His worry over Harley and Roxy did unsettle him somewhat but he squashed it down.

The president ordered his men to tie Happy to one pole and the girls to another. He smiled internally and breathed a sigh of relief. They'd have separated the girls straight up if they'd been planning to harm them initially.

Happy didn't fight against the restraints, simply gave death stares to all who approached him. It would have been futile. They were outnumbered and out-armed and any attempt at escape would have resulted in bullets flying. So he chose to bide his time and see what their demands were.

Roxy was trembling as the men invaded her personal space in order to tie her and Harley to the pole. She was near ready to vomit with the pain in her stomach thanks to the undignified and uncomfortable van journey. Just when she thought they were going to step back the SAA smirked.

"I know this one!" He laughed and ripped her tshirt to the side, exposing the marred crow on the top of her left breast. Roxy gasped and moved into Harley as much as she could. "It's the one from Lin's video!" He shouted gleefully and the others chuckled and gathered round a bit.

"And this time she's brought a friend!" Frank chuckled out. "We can have some fun with this guys!"

"Please! I just had a baby!" Roxy gasped out.

The SAA sneered at her, looking her body up and down as if he'd magically be able tell if she was telling the truth. "Don't matter, this ones more my cup of tea." He winked at Harley who just rolled her eyes.

"Ace!" The president called out and the SAA snapped his head around. "Got shit to do now. Save this for later."

"Sure thing Pres. Ain't like they're going anywhere." He smirked down at the girls and followed over to the President who was stood at Happy's side.

Roxy and Harley linked their pinkie fingers together seeing as it was the only body parts they could move to offer comfort. Roxy sniffled slightly as she surveyed the men in the room, thankful they were paying more attention to Happy right now than them. She knew he could handle whatever they had to dish out. Though she was still praying the others would find them soon, they'd found her last time so she had every faith that Juice would find her again. She knew he would.

Harley was trying her best to imitate Happy's cool and bored demeanour, something she struggled with when Ace starting making those innuendos. There'd be no way she was letting any of these fuckers touch her. She'd rather die than go through an ordeal like what Roxy did at the hands of Lin. She chose now to have a good look at their options here. They were zip tied to the poles so that would be hard to break, there were only two exits and no where to hide, the only weapons around were the tools on the table next to that chair, sick. There were 10 men in the room currently, the President who reminded her slightly of Opie but with a much harsher aura, Ace the SAA, Frank the gross dude were the ones they knew. Then there was the lanky one who seemed kinda like a cross between Half Sack and Miles, and six others who had been following on bikes or waiting here, all looking super menacing and super angry. All white, no latinos or anything so Harley wondered if maybe there was a bit of a tie to the AB or something. But she didn't know enough about the club's business to make any judgements.

"So, its Lowman, isn't it?" The president asked. Happy just glared at him in response. "Ace?" He turned to the SAA who smacked Happy with a cracking right hook, his head whipping to the side, but he made no noise.

Harley jumped next to Roxy and drew in a breath, staring at Happy wanting to know if he was ok.

Happy turned his head back to face the men, a blood stained grin on his face but still said nothing.

The president shrugged. "We know all about you so it don't matter. Look, we want our shit back and we want revenge for the guys you killed. Right now you three are our bargaining chips. So just sit tight and enjoy the hospitality. We'll be tracking down your president to see what sort of deal he can come up with. Hopefully it'll involve at least two of you walking out of here alive, but we'll still need someone as retribution." He glanced back at the girls. "I'll let you think about that while we make some calls." He motioned for his men to follow him out of the barn, ordering Darren, the fresh and nervous looking patch member to stay at the door for surveillance.

As soon as the doors shut behind them Happy spat the blood from his mouth and tongued his cut lip, stretching his jaw to test out the pain. "Fuckin pussy punch." He muttered, knowing he could hit ten times harder than that.

"You ok?" Harley asked quietly.

Happy shot his eyes up to her and smirked. "Glorious." He said without a hint of sarcasm.

"What do we do here Happy? I can't go through this again, I don't want to, I'll die Happy, they can't do anything to us-"

Happy cut Roxy off, knowing she was slipping down the dangerous road to panic and he needed them all calm, cool, and collected. "I ain't gunna let them touch you, ok?" He said with conviction, eyes boring straight into hers.

Roxy believed him, she knew their situation was shitty and almost impossible, but she knew Happy wouldn't let them do anything and she nodded.

Happy took the girls in for the first time. He hadn't wanted to show great concern before in case the guys decided to use it against him. But now they were alone he needed to see what they were working with. Harley seemed to be put together well, her top was riding low, but her makeup remained unsmudged and her hair perfect. He smiled slightly, his girl was a fighter he knew that much. Roxy was slightly more ragged. Her white, v neck tshirt was now ripped slightly exposing the top of her left bra cup and shoulder, her hair had fallen out of his ponytail slightly and he could tell she was on the verge of tears.

"Look, follow my lead and play it cool. I know what I'm doing, yeah?" He waited for both girls to nod. "We just gotta be calm till the guys find us."

Roxy lent her head back against the post and closed her eyes, deep breathing to relax herself. She knew Juice would find them. She had faith.

Harley locked eyes with Happy and smiled slightly, he lifted the corner of his lips in response and winked causing Harley to crack an even wider grin. "Wanted to have you as a captive audience but not really like this, girl."

"I still don't forgive you." She joked with a wink but smiled softly as they relaxed and waited for whatever was going to happen next.

xxx xxx

"She's still not picking up." Juice paced worriedly in the clubhouse. Tara was snuggling with Carlos but watched anxiously as Jax tried Happy again.

"Nah something's wrong bro, Happy wouldn't miss this many calls." Jax snapped the phone shut when he got voicemail again. "Can you trace Roxy's phone?"

"Yeah, I'll go do it." Juice hurried off to his dorm to grab his laptop stuff and moved it to the chapel.

Just as he was setting everything up Chibs, Tig, Rat, Quinn, and TO all came in with Jax hot on their heels. Tig shut the doors and they all took their respective seats as Juice fired up his tracking software.

"So what do we know?" Chibs asked.

"Fuck all. Harley and Rox were off to see a friend in Oakland at his tattoo parlour. Happy took off after em, bout 10 minutes behind them. Rox sent Juice a message not long after saying that he'd caught up to them and they'd pulled over to argue at some road off the I-5. Last we heard." Jax filled everyone in.

"We got cause to worry?" Chibs queried. "Couldn't they just be talking?"

"It's been an hour radio silence. All three of them aren't answering." Jax shrugged. "Seems weird to me."

"Ok. I'll call Alvarez. See if he knows anything." Chibs moved to the doors to grab his phone from the box on the pool table, Juice being the only one allowed his phone in church at this point.

"Got it!" Juice exclaimed. He turned his laptop around to show the guys the map. He'd set up a pretty accurate tracking system on Roxy's phone since the Lin incident. It worked even if the phone was off which was a huge selling point to him, knowing that was the first thing kidnappers would do. "Looks like they're still at that off ramp. Should we head out?"

"Wait to see what Chibs gets from Alvarez." Quinn decided.

Chibs hung up and walked back into the chapel. "Alvarez hasn't heard anything but he'll ask around."

"Found Roxy's signal. Still at the off ramp. Shall we head out?" Juice was practically vibrating with nerves.

Chibs nodded. "Aye, you, Quinn, Tig, and Rat head on out, see what you can find. Jax, TO, and I will stay here and try ringing round."

Juice sent the data to his phone and practically ran to his bike. He knew he had the location but something didn't sit right. They wouldn't hang around at a layby on some shitty country road for over an hour and not answer their phones. Even arguing with Harley, Juice knew Happy would still answer his phone after several calls. He'd never ignore the club. Plus the rate they'd been calling the three of them at least one of them would have the sense to answer.

He stopped to give Carlos a quick kiss on the forehead before he finally reached his bike and started it while urging the others to hurry up.

Juice led the pack toward the highway with Quinn to his side and the others behind them. It took only 15 minutes of weaving in and out of traffic, waaaay above the speed limit, to reach their destination. Luckily Juice had a police scanner and had managed to squeeze it in on the front of his bike. It just looked like part of his speaker system but helped them avoid police if they were in a rush. And today they were in a rush.

They drove along the road towards the layby and immediatly saw Harley's pimped out BMW with Happy's lone bike just down from it.

"Shit." Juice groaned as he pulled up. Immediatly going to the car to find Roxy's phone. "Shit. Roxy! Should have kept it with ya." He cursed and spun to face Quinn and Tig. "The fuck do we do now? Someone's got em."

There wasn't much sign of a struggle. They could see loads of footprints and bike tracks, but no blood which was positive.

Tig kicked Harley's tyre and Quinn pulled out his phone to call Chibs. Juice paced, looking through Roxy's phone to see if there were any clues to the situation but there was nothing. He smiled as he looked at the selfie she'd insisted on taking with an oblivious two week old Carlos and smiled. She was so happy, so happy and content. For the first time since the Lin saga happened he'd seen her genuinely smile and want to get up in the morning. He'd tried making her happy over those months, and sometimes he'd been successful but it wasn't till she had Carlos in her arms did he see the spark in her eyes once again.

"I can't lose her again Tig." He locked the phone and shoved it in his pocket. "Not after last time. Even if we get her back she'll be gone." He knew she wouldn't survive anything like that mentally. Not again.

Tig lay a hand on Juice's shoulder. "It ain't gunna happen again. She's got Harley by her side and they're with Happy. He ain't gunna let shit happen to them. You know that. He fucked up the other night but that doesn't matter. He'll die before he lets shit happen to those girls."

Quinn swore loudly and snapped his phone shut. "We gotta get back to the clubhouse. Devils have them."

"Fuckin what?!" Juice exclaimed.

"They called TM. Chibs needs us. TO and Rat you guys stay here and wait for Dog. He's coming with the tow truck for Hap's bike and one of the other guys will drive Harley's ride back."

TO and Rat nodded and pulled out smokes for the wait while Tig, Quinn, and an anxious Juice mounted up to head back to TM.

The ride back home seemed to take twice as long. Juice was swinging between fear for his Old Lady and pure rage that those motherfuckers had her. Who knew what the fuck they were capable of, the snide comments about Roxy's time with Lin's crew that member made outside the gas station were racing through his mind. The only thing keeping him sane was the fact that Happy was there with them. Tig was right, he knew Happy would never let them touch Roxy. Not while he was still breathing.

xxx xxx

"They want their shit back and they want someone's blood in retaliation for the members they lost in the takedown. Pretty sure the Prospect we killed was the President's cousin or some shit. I've called Alvarez for help and Indian Hills to come through as back up." Chibs sighed as they sat around the table.

"What's the plan?" Juice asked.

"Well they said they're gunna call back in a couple hours for a drop point. We've got till tomorrow morning to give them back the drugs or all three die." Juice inhaled sharply and swore, Quinn patting him on the back in comfort. "Wonderin if maybe you can trace the call lad? When they ring to set up a meet? That way we can find out where they are and come in heavy before the deadline of tomorrow morning comes."

"I can do that. But might be tricky if they're smart with their burners." Juice was master of all things technology so their burners were almost untraceable, unless you were Juice. So he just hoped that the Devils didn't have someone as tech savvy as him.

"Alright. Go grab some rest for now, not much we can do till Alvarez and the others get here. Gunna be a loooong night boys." Chibs rapped his knuckles on the table before grabbing the gavel to signal the end of the meeting.

Juice sighed and stood with his brothers but Chibs called him back for a second.

"I know I was partly at fault for the last time Roxy got taken, so I'm giving you my word brother, I'll do whatever it fuckin takes to get her back this time. Even if it means offering myself as a trade." He held up a hand to silence Juice's words of protest. "Don't get me wrong, I hope it won't come to that but I ain't leaving that wee boy without his Ma and I sure as hell won't be able to live with myself if she's hurt on my watch."

Juice didn't know what to say. He'd slowly patched things up with Chibs since everything went down almost a year before. It wasn't the same, they'd never be as close as they once were but the fact that Chibs had offered himself as a sacrifice showed him how much Chibs was trying to make amends for everything.

"It won't come to that, brother." Juice gave him a nod and left the chapel after his brothers, leaving Chibs alone with his thoughts.

Tara had Carlos while Elyda had been called in to help with the older boys. She was currently rocking him trying to settle him for sleep but Juice needed a cuddle so he approached her with a sad smile on his face.

"You should try get some sleep Juice. From what Jax told me it's going to be a long night for you all." Tara offered as he approached.

Juice lifted Carlos from her arms and shook his head. "I won't be able to sleep. I just need some peace with him. I'll take him to my dorm." He sighed and placed a small kiss on Carlos' head. "Where are the others?"

"Their dorms mostly. Jax and Tig went to go tell Happy's aunt what was happening. So she can keep Mari contained." Juice nodded and started to take Carlos to his dorm. "He's clean and fed. Just ready for a nap. Bring him back if you need anything." Tara called after him. She felt sorry for him and knew he'd probably need a hand keeping a level head right now and Tara knew that watching the baby was how she could help.

Juice nodded and carried on towards his room, closing the door softly behind him. Juice had no intention of sleep but figured cuddling with his son would keep him calm for a while. He lay on the bed with Carlos on his chest and stroked his back softly. Carlos wriggled a little bit but Tara was right, he was out like a light within minutes.

Juice bent forward and kissed his little head before sighing. "I promise I'll get your mami back Carlos. I have to."


	137. Chapter 137

**A/N: omg so I have had no end of trouble with fanfic at the moment. The website keeps saying some server error code when I try to use my profile and my app wouldn't work! Plus all the mayhem of end of the year for work and Xmas has been mad.**

 **So I apologise for the lengthy delay. It's a short one but hopefully it'll tide you over.**

 **Thanks to _Katrina, AngR, docsangel, Lennon, tellmesweetlittlelies,_ and _terriberri_ for your reviews of the last chapter. I'm so glad you're enjoying it and I love hearing what you think!**

 **As always read, review, and enjoy!!! And Merry Christmas!**

 **xxx xxx**

It was well and truly night now. They'd been left alone in the barn for a couple of hours now and Roxy was just as on edge as she'd been at the beginning. Happy and Harley were cool though, they seemed to be matching each other's vibe. It was kind of weird but Roxy figured it was what made them a good couple. Neither were entirely normal.

Happy straightened slightly, having heard some noise from outside the barn. It seemed they'd have company again very soon.

"What is it?" Harley hissed quietly.

Happy kept his eyes trained on the door. "Someone's coming." He could see Roxy tremble in his peripheral vision and turned to face the two girls. He could tell Harley was starting to get anxious again. "Just follow my lead. I ain't gunna let nothin happen to ya. Don't tell em shit. No matter what they do. Yeah?" Both girls nodded. "I'm serious. No matter what they do to me you keep it shut."

Harley took in his features, rough and hard, it was the face she'd grown to love over the last year or so. No one else would see the softness in it, but she did. He was worried, but she knew he'd keep to his word and not let anything happen to them.

Happy met her gaze and gave a quick twitch of the mouth in smile. Harley smiled back and let out a sigh. She had every faith in the man sitting opposite to protect her. A faith she shouldn't have had after the incident the other night. As much as she still wanted to hate him for what he'd done she couldn't. She couldn't because she knew from the look of sheer determination in his eyes when he gave his word that he'd die before he'd let anything happen to them. So the words slipped out of her mouth before she even registered what she'd said.

"I love you Happy." It came out almost breathless with the panic of the incoming situation.

Happy almost couldn't believe his ears. He never thought he'd hear those words from her again. But he couldn't help smile at hearing them, it was as if she was saying them now because she thought he needed strength for what was to come, as if she may not get the chance to say them again. And that was a bad sign.

But staring into her hopeful face he could do nothing but respond in the same. "I love you too, girl."

Harley squeezed Roxy's pinky with hers again, knowing her friend was struggling. "They'll come for us babe."

"I know they will." Roxy smiled to herself. She remembered the conversation she and Juice had right before Juice and TO had been taken. The promise they made that neither would stop looking for the other, and she held on to that hope.

The small door to the barn opened and in filed the Devils members. They walked over to the three of them and stopped, crowding around them and making the girls very nervous. Roxy had seen that same look in the faces of the Sons when they were ready for business. It scared her to her core as she knew how ruthless her boys could be when someone wronged them.

"Thought we could have a bit of fun while we wait. You know, give your boys a little incentive to get our product to us." The President of the Devils crowed, very pleased with himself and obviously excited at the prospect of inflicting damage on the group. "They have till morning to give us our product back and some blood. If they fall through then we keep all three of you to do with as we see fit."

"And I've got some great plans for the three of you." Ace the Sargent at Arms chuckled.

"Get to it then Ace." The president gestured to the three captives. "Boys, settle in for a fun night." He laughed and lit up a smoke while Ace circled the group.

Roxy did her best to keep her breathing calm and even but when Ace slid his finger down her cheek to grab her jaw she let out a whimper, earning a smirk from Ace and a pinky squeeze from Harley. She was ready to cry but then she thought of Carlos and it dragged her out of her fear, she had to be strong to make it out of here. She figured nothing these guys could do could be worse than what happened at the hands of Lin and his men.

"Nah, you're damaged goods baby, you're just here for the ride." He dropped her chin roughly and turned to Harley. "This one on the other hand..." he gripped Harley's hair and snapped her head back. "You look like you love a good time judging by the bruises." He smirked as Harley's eyes narrowed. She was petrified, the cool facade long gone. She tore her eyes away from Ace and over to Happy who looked murderous. Ace noticed her gaze and turned to Happy. "You do this?" He gestured to Harley's busted lip and cheek but Happy said nothing, keeping his gaze firmly on Harley's face. Ace didn't like that so he slapped Harley, hard, the loud snapping sound of skin against skin made Roxy jump and the stinging brought tears to Harley's eyes. "You like it rough do ya?"

Harley steeled herself against his rage and turned her eyes back to Happy as soon as she could open them. But Happy wasn't looking at her any more.

"Fuckin pussy. Hitting the bitches. Don't think you could break me?" He growled. Happy had harmed women before in the course of his work. But the Sons knew damn well that they had deserved it first. It didn't sit right with him but if they hurt the club it was what was coming to them. He'd never do it if there was a man sat there like this. Women were easy to hurt, in his fucked up mind, so why wouldn't you go for the challenge? And Hap knew he would be a challenge to break. He'd been held hostage before. Many times. But only once had he been close to breaking, and that was early on in his Sons life.

Ace turned to Happy and grinned, taking the bait much easier than Happy had expected. "Oh that was just a warm up." He turned to the other Devils behind him. "Take him to the chair." He moved over to Happy and delivered a shattering right hook which was designed to daze him enough that he wouldn't struggle while they moved him.

Harley's heart rate spiked as she watched the men roughly drag Happy over to the chair and tie him down. Happy, however, made no attempt to fight them. He simply went with it. Roxy thought he was insane but Happy knew what he was doing. He didn't want the Devils to hurt Roxy or Harley, so he needed to be the distraction and he knew in his mind he could hold out a hell of a lot longer than either of the girls could. He knew within minutes of any kind of torture they'd be out of it and Ace would get bored, and that was dangerous. So Happy offered himself up as a challenge.

Ace paced around Happy's chair looking him up and down, deciding where to begin. "Now, where do I begin..." he moved over to the table and grabbed a pair of pliers and walked slowly towards Happy, twirling the pliers in his hand as he went.

Happy watched him nonchalantly, pleased with the fact Ace appeared to be starting slow buying them more time, as Harley's breath hitched in her throat. She didn't want to watch this, she felt her eyes brim with tears as Ace used the pliers to pull off one of Happy's fingernails. Happy, to his credit, didn't even flinch, despite the burning pain coursing up his arm.

Ace removed two more in quick succession, trying desperately to get happy to react but he was giving him nothing. Harley and Roxy both were crying silently as they watched Ace work.

Eventually, when Ace became bored with the fingernails, he pulled Happy's left pinky finger back and snapped it, causing Happy to let out a grunt. Finally pleased with making some progress Ace moved to his ring finger.

Happy took a deep breath but refused to give Ace the satisfaction. Instead he looked over at Harley, tears streaming down her face, and maintained eye contact as Ace continued through his left hand.

xxx xxx

"Any luck?" Chibs asked Juice who was sitting at the Chapel table on his laptop.

"Fucking nothing. It's as if these guys don't exist." He groaned in frustration. "I think my only bet is to trace the call when it comes in."

"Aye. Ok, this is such a fuckin shit storm." Chibs ran a hand down his face, tugging at the short beard on his chin.

"You're telling me." Just rested his forehead in his hands. "As if Roxy hasn't been through enough." He pushed his laptop back and grabbed a joint off the table. "I dunno if she's gunna want to stay here after this."

Chibs nodded slowly. "No one'd blame ya if you wanted to patch out brother, step away from Charming."

Juice sighed. "I dunno if we'd survive without the club. That's the thing. Only family either of us have got."

"There's always Gemma. Could move down to Norco with her and Nero?"

Juice looked surprised at the suggestion. "Even after everything that happened? I dunno if Roxy would be down for that. Plus Jax would fuckin kill us. No way he'd vote for me to patch out if he knew that's where we were headed." Juice took a drag of the joint. "Nah, I don't think this'll happen. I'm just worrying too much."

"Well ya don't need to lad. We'll figure it out. I'm hoping once we get these guys under control it won't be as dangerous. I mean we were fine for ages there now we were outta the guns and drugs-" Chibs was interrupted by the burner phone ringing. They both looked at each other. The number was the one they'd given the Devils to set up the meet.

Juice quickly plugged the phone in to his laptop and nodded to Chibs to answer it.

Tig had wandered in at the sound of the phone and beckoned the others into the Chapel from the bar. They crowded round and Chibs put the phone on speaker. They could hear grunting in the background and the President continued to speak.

"As you can hear your Sargent is enjoying our hospitality. Isn't that right girls?!" He called out.

"Fuck you, asshole!" Came Harley's voice through the speaker.

Juice was trying hard to get a location but it took a minute or so, so he gestured to Chibs to keep the call running. The location marker was bouncing around cell towers in Oakland as it tried to find the closest tower and hone in on the signal.

There came a loud cracking noise and the sound of Harley yelping, obviously having been slapped for her retort.

"You're gunna regret that, fuckers." Came Happy's calm voice before a loud grunt as he too was hit.

"I don't really thing you're in a position to be making threats here Lowman." The president's voice came back again. He rattled off an address for an abandoned car yard the Sons knew well on the outskirts of Oakland's industrial area. "7am sharp. You don't come through on the deal and none of them survive." Juice frantically waved to Chibs to keep it going.

Chibs jumped in quickly before the President could end the call. "I need assurances they're all well before I go chasing shit all over Cali."

"Fine." There was the sound of movement as he manoeuvred around the barn. "C'mon bitch, say hi." He demanded.

Harley growled before saying she was fine into the phone. The President moved over to Roxy and wrenched her head up by her hair. "Just because we've been easy on you don't mean we've forgotten you're here slut. Say hi."

Roxy whimpered slightly before speaking, panicked into the phone. "Juice?"

"It's ok baby." He tried to keep the glee out of his voice as his laptop located the signal. "It'll all work out. Just remember my promise." He added quickly as the President moved the phone away.

"That's enough! Move it and get this shit sorted. 7am! And remember we still want a Son's blood." He disconnected the call and Chibs snapped the phone shut.

"We good?" He looked at Juice.

"Yup. And hopefully Roxy gets what I was trying to tell her then."

Chibs nodded. "Alright. Get the others in here. We've got 10 hours before the meet but we dunno when they'll move them or what they'll do in the mean time."

xxx xxx

"I only said to say hi bitch." The President backhanded Roxy and she cried out. "You really are as dumb as you fuckin look." He smacked her again, enjoying taking his frustration on the Sons out on her. "They're not gunna sort this. They didn't save you from Lin and they won't save you from us." With a final blow he turned and left the room, calling his men to follow on behind him.

Happy was breathing heavily in his chair, he was in a great deal of pain himself but he was also mega pissed with the way the President had hit Roxy, and Harley. When he was sure they were gone he swore, lengthily before getting himself under control.

"You good Rox?" He rasped.

Roxy spat some blood out, attempting to aim for the floor but it landed on her jeans. "I think so." She answered breathily. "I'm so fucking sore, my stomach hurts, my heart won't stop racing..."

Harley looked at Happy with panic in her eyes. He knew about Roxy's heart condition but had forgotten. _Shit_ he thought to himself.

"You're gunna be a'right Roxy." He tried to assure. "You good?" He questioned Harley.

She gave a sharp nod and assessed him. Ace had broken all the fingers on his left hand and they were jutting out at awkward angles. Ace had started with superficial cuts on Happy's bare torso after stripping his shirt and kutte, which now lay on the floor being used as an ashtray. The blood was slowly trickling down his chest and stomach but he didn't seem too phased.

"Are you ok Happy?"

"Fuckin perfect babe." He smirked. He was in a shitload of pain, but he wouldn't let that on to the girls. His plan had worked, and for the most part they were untouched.

"So what did Juice say before? About some promise?" Harley asked.

Then it clicked to Roxy. "Oh my god! They're coming. They know where we are." She whisper shouted.

"What?" Happy asked.

"He said they were sorting it, which sounds like they were organising the drop off. But then he said about our promise, that if either one of us was kidnapped the other wouldn't stop looking." This made no sense to either Happy or Harley and so they stared blankly at her. She sighed in frustration. "After the whole Lin thing and before he and TO were taken we made a promise to always remember the other would come looking. Mainly Juice was doing it to reassure me but he said it helped when he was with those guys. Like we wouldn't be alone if we kept thinking about the other." She shrugged.

"That is some gay ass shit." Happy chuckled.

"Hey Lowman! Just coz you don't have a romantic bone in your body." Harley scowled at him. She turned to Roxy. "So you really think they're coming?"

"Yeah, I do, I could hear it in his voice." She smiled softly.

"Good. It'll take them a couple hours to get everyone together so all we gotta do is hang tight, yeah?" The girls nodded. "And when shit goes down you two do as you're fuckin told, a'right?" He demanded seriously.

"Of course." They both nodded.

"We're gunna get out of this. Ok?" He eyes both girls carefully.

"I know Hap. But please, don't do anything crazy? We got a lot to sort out between us." Harley pleaded softly, knowing Happy was in a dangerous mood and not wanting to think about him going nuts.

"I know babe. You won't get rid of me that easy." He smirked again, but this time his smirk wasn't cocky or confident, it was hopeful. Hopeful that maybe they'd work this out after all. And all it took for her to forgive him was torture at the hands of another MC.


	138. Chapter 138

**A/N: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!**

 **Sorry about the lengthy delay again. But it was Christmas chaos haha.**

 **Thanks to _Lennon_ , _AngR_ , _Katrina_ , and _Terriberri_ for their reviews! I love hearing what everyone thinks. **

**Also thanks to the new followers and favouriters :)**

 **Anyways I am super tired so hopefully the end makes sense and the authors note here does too.**

 **Please let me know what you think! And read, review, and enjoy!!!**

 **xxx xxx**

Juice watched as the rest of the Indian Hills guys rolled into the lot. A couple had made it down earlier having already been out on a run. Now they had the manpower they just needed to coordinate the rescue.

They led everyone through back into the Chapel. Juice stopped briefly to kiss Carlos' head. He was still snuggled with Tara who was starting to get super tired.

"You can go put him to bed if you like. I imagine we're going soon anyway." He smiled softly at her.

"Ok, give him one last kiss goodnight." She offered the baby to him while she stood up and gathered what she'd need.

Juice pulled Carlos in close and sniffed the baby smell from his little head. He knew what was coming was dangerous and there was a risk Carlos would be left with just one parent, or no parent for that matter. For the first time he questioned, really questioned, the risks of this lifestyle. Now that he was a family man he couldn't justify the danger. But then on the other hand without the club he and Roxy would have no family. It was a lose-lose situation.

"Juicy Boy! We need ya." Chibs hollered from the chapel, breaking Juice from his reverie.

He nodded to Chibs and gave Carlos one last kiss before passing him back to Tara. "Go get some sleep."

Tara smiled softly at Juice as she cuddled the small baby close. "You guys just be safe. He needs his momma and daddy back in one piece." She picked up the nappy bag and headed through to Jax's dorm where the boys' portacot was set up.

Juice took a deep breath and headed into the chapel so they could come up with their game plan.

xxx xxx

Roxy was drifting slowly asleep. Her heart was still pounding in her chest with anxiety but she had taken her meds that morning so she knew she'd be ok if she just relaxed. Focusing on sleep was the best option. Happy assured her he would be looking out for them.

None of them knew how long it had been since the Devils left last, but it was getting significantly colder, telling Happy it was late in the night, possibly early morning. His blood had clotted and the cuts on his chest had stopped bleeding a while ago. His hand was agony though, his fingers were swollen and purple and throbbing. He had to focus on Harley and anything else to keep his mind off it. He'd started plotting revenge against Ace and the Devils and that kept him happy for some time.

Harley had her head back against the pole, eyes closed but not sleeping. She was exhausted, the constant Adrenalin wearing off and leaving her tired and shaky. She was hungry, thirsty, and had to go to the toilet for like three hours now. She knew Roxy was bursting too but they didn't really have much choice other than to hold it in, though much longer and she knew she'd end up in trouble.

All three snapped out of their restful states when they heard a door slam and the crunch of gravel under boots as people approached the barn.

"Don't stress." Happy quickly whispered to them as the door opened and the Devils walked in. There appeared to be more than before and Happy found it strange they couldn't find much on them when they were clearly such a big group.

"Times running out for your boys." The President walked closer to Happy. "Haven't heard from them and it's time we moved you for the trade." He walked over to the girls. "Better hope they've come through, otherwise you'll be guests of ours for a while." He ignored Roxy's whimper and turned back to the group. "Load em up."

Four of the men took on Happy while another four moved to the girls, Harley swearing as she was roughly yanked to her feet.

"Hey asshole! Relax." She huffed and watched as Roxy received the same treatment. "I gotta pee before we go anywhere. That ok?" She figured they needed to buy time. If the Sons were really coming here for them they couldn't risk being moved to another location for the trade.

The President rolled his eyes but nodded to his men.

"Me too!" Roxy blurted out.

"Oh for fucks sake." He growled. "Take em round back. But keep an eye on them."

Happy sent Harley a warning glare as they were marched out. He did not like the idea of being split up from them and he hated the idea of her pissing in front of some perv.

Harley hadn't really expected this treatment but at this point she didn't give a shit. It was this or wet herself and she didn't want to give them the satisfaction. She noticed Roxy limping beside her, hunched slightly.

"You ok?" She whispered as they were pushed over to the wall of the barn.

"It really hurts Harley. I can't stand properly." Her stomach was in agony. Sitting in that position for so long was not good for her c section and she could tell she was in trouble.

"Just fuckin hurry up." One of the men growled.

The four men stood back but kept their eyes on the girls, Harley and Roxy thankful for the cover of darkness giving them some privacy. Now that she could see their surrounding Roxy could tell they were in a wooded area, obviously a farm but it looked to be surrounded by trees. She couldn't hear anything so she figured they were definitely in an isolated location, which didn't give her much hope.

The girls finished as best they could and embarrasdly pulled up their jeans, Harley having to help Roxy. Luckily Roxy was still wearing maternity jeans so the stretchy waist band didn't hurt her more.

Just as the guys were making some more lewd remarks they were ambushed from behind. Roxy tried to bolt but the nearest Devils member kneed her and brought her to the ground with a muffled shriek. The kick sent stars to her eyes with the pain and she could barely breathe as she doubled over and writhed in agony. Harley instinctively jumped was shushed by Jax while he, Rat, Bullet, and some other Indian Hills patch dispatched of their captors.

Jax ran over to Roxy as she laid silent on the floor. "Rox? You ok? Can you hear me?" He asked softly.

Roxy's only response was to grab his arm, nails clawing into his skin with the pain. Jax picked her up and carried her back into the woods as Rat ushered Harley behind him before turning to the other two and continuing with their ambush.

xxx xxx

Happy had been brought out to a van while the girls were led round the back of the building and out of sight. He was on edge, petrified of what was going on out of his line of sight. He didn't give a fuck what would happen to him, Roxy, or the club, but if those fuckers touched a hair on Harley's head he'd lose his shit and wouldn't care who came in his way.

Juice was with Chibs and a group of 20 patches from various charters, surrounding the barn. They could see Happy and the 15 Devils members but couldn't see the girls. He looked at Chibs worriedly and Chibs just shrugged.

"I'll message Rat." He offered, quickly typing away on his burner. But before he could send the message Jax sent one through saying he had the girls at the vans, luckily there was a group there too for safety. "They're good. Jax has em. Let's go." He whispered.

With a flurry of activity the group moved forward, taking out several of the Devils before they even knew what was going on. Juice's blood was pumping furiously as they secured Happy and took the President and SAA hostage now.

The other Sons quickly disposed of the remaining Devils and after a few minutes of shots firing from both sides the Sons had the area secured.

Chibs looked down at the President and smirked. "Sorry we couldn't bring the product, all gone now. But doesn't look like your guys will be needing it any time soon."

"Fuck you!" He spat.

"Now, now. No need to be rude. We'll try be as hospitable as you've been to our lovely ladies and Happy. That's no way to talk to your hosts is it?" Chibs turned back to Happy to assess the damage. "You good brother?"

Happy gave a stern nod. "Oh I'm good." He didn't take his eyes of Ace who was cowering slightly next to the President. He knew what was coming, and it wouldn't be pretty.

"Need a hospital? We can keep these guys on their toes till you're done."

Happy turned his gaze back to Chibs. "Nah, I'm here. Let's do this." He moved to Juice as the others mobilised and began getting rid of the bodies. "Rox ok?"

"Dunno yet, haven't seen her. Jax has her and Harley with some of the others. Why? Is she ok?" He asked worriedly.

"Was complaining of her stomach and shit. Her heart was playing up too. I'm sure she's fine brother, but maybe get her to a hospital." He used his good hand to pat Juice on the shoulder and began to walk back to Ace and the President.

"Hey Hap?" He waited for Happy to turn around. "Thanks for watching out for her. Means a lot brother."

"Of course." He nodded once and turned back.

Juice took out his burner and called Jax to see what was happening. It only rang once before it was answered with a gruff 'yup'. "It's Juice. How's Roxy?" Even as he asked the question he could hear her whimpering in the background.

"She's in a lot of pain. We need to take her to hospital. You good with that?"

"Yeah, I'll grab my bike and tail you. I'll just check with Chibs."

"Ok, hurry up and meet us at the meet point. I've got one of the guys bringing Harley down to Happy."

"Sure thing."

xxx xxx

Roxy was in tears, curled up in the back of the van with Jax trying his best to comfort her. Juice ran over and jumped into the van to sit with her.

"Baby? What happened?" He cradled her head on his lap as she grasped onto his arm.

"I-it hu-hurts!" She sobbed.

Juice looked at Jax exasperatedly, so Jax explained. "Harley said she was in pain when they stood up after being tied down for so long. Then one of the fuckers kneed her as we came to get them. She just dropped to the floor. No idea what it is."

Juice looked down and decided they needed to move Roxy and get her more comfortable. "Roxy? Baby? I need you to move into the van some more. There's some pillows up the back there." He tried to move her but she protested. "Jax?" He motioned for Jax to help him and they successfully moved her further into the van so they could lie her down properly.

Jax had been moving her legs while Juice pulled her torso and nudged Juice's arm to get his attention. "Uh, Juice?" He motioned to Roxy's thighs where a red patch was spreading.

"Oh fuck!" Juice panicked now. "We need to get to the hospital, now!"

"St. Thomas?" The patch from the front seat called out as he started the van.

"Whichever is closest." Juice pulled Roxy closer, feeling her skin to be clammy and sweaty. Roxy was clearly in trouble and he just needed them to go.

"Probably Charming." The driver confirmed and Jax jumped out saying he'd take care of Juice's bike. And with that they were off, flying down the gravel track at an alarming rate while Juice tried his best to comfort Roxy.

xxx xxx

"Oh my god Hap!" Harley jumped off the bike and threw herself at Happy, who caught her as best he could given the state of his hands.

He grunted in pain as she wrapped herself around him and pulled him in for a searing kiss. She jumped back and held his face in her hands.

"You ok?" She asked softly.

"Never better." He smirked and let her pull away so he could turn back to the remaining two men.

They'd tied the President and Ace to the poles in the barn that Happy, Roxy, and Harley had previously been tied to. But happy had them standing with their arms above their heads.

Harley had seen the state Roxy was in when she left her and was petrified for her wellbeing. She had a feeling that last kick had done some serious damage and once again poor Roxy was going to suffer.

So she was finding Happy's torment of their captors to be quite invigorating. She never thought she'd have the stomach to witness torture, especially not when it was her man doling out the pain. But after watching him take a beating for her and her friend, seeing the pain he'd been in tied to that chair, she made her peace with what was to come.

"You don't need to stay in here babe." He said quietly to her as he looked through Ace's tools, taking sick pleasure in being able to use the man's own equipment against him.

"I want to watch." She said seriously.

Despite the fucked up situation Happy could almost feel himself going hard at the look in her eyes combined with her words. But his brain had never been wired right.

Ignoring the fact they had an audience he backed her against the table holding all the tools and lifted her to sit on it with his good hand, positioning his body between her thighs. He moved in close so his lips were ghosting over hers before speaking.

"Then you sit right here and watch baby. Coz this is proof of what I'll do to protect you." He crushed his lips against hers and if it hadn't been for the throbbing in his broken hand he'd have probably taken it a lot further. Audience or not.

But he pulled back and picked up the shiny blade next to Harley's thigh and with a final smirk he turned to face the two men who'd crossed them.

xxx xxx

"Female, 28, abdominal trauma, 3 weeks post partum, c section. Lost consciousness en route, BP is..."

Juice tuned out the ER nurse's run down as he accompanied the gurney to an ER bay. He'd run in with her in his arms and she'd been immediately taken from his arms and rushed through.

"Sir? You'll have to wait here, we have to take her to surgery." A male nurse had his hand on Juice's chest in an attempt to stop him from blindly following them into theatre.

"But I can't leave her!" He argued.

"You need to, just for now. Let them do their jobs." He calmly assured Juice as he watched the gurney rush through behind some doors and out of sight.

Juice groaned in frustration and anguish and rubbed his hands over his face in frustration, tugging at his slicked back hair.

"Is there someone I can call for you?" He asked.

Juice snapped his eyes up to him. "Uh, no. No thanks. Her brother is on his way."

"Ok. The doctor will need you to explain what happened in a moment while the sonographers find out what's going on. But he's fairly sure she needs surgery. Are you her next of kin?"

"Yeah, husband."

"Ok. Sit tight, she's in safe hands." He gestured for Juice to take a seat in the quiet waiting area and went off to find the doctor who'd be operating.

Roxy had been rushed for some scans so they knew what to do and within minutes the doctor was at Juice's side to find out what happened. Juice panicked, he couldn't tell him what really happened, the cops would be all over it. So instead he came up with the first lie he could think of.

"Uh, we were messing around with her nephew and he got carried away. Ran into her full pelt before any of us could catch him. She dropped straight away and then after a few minutes she started bleeding. I brought her in straight away." Juice rambled, hoping he sounded somewhat convincing. "Is she going to be ok?"

The doctor hadn't believed a word out of Juice's mouth. There was no way a kid could have inflicted that kind of damage and he immediately suspected Juice. He couldn't call the police but it was hospital policy to have their social workers investigate if they suspected domestic violence. And he definitely suspected.

"Well from what I've heard from the scans it seems the internal incision has ruptured. There's already scar tissue in the area from a recent previous c section so it's going to be tricky." He eyes Juice. "I'm not going to lie here, but it could be quite a severe outcome. We may have to perform a hysterectomy if we can't stop the bleeding."

"Hyster what?" Juice had no idea what the doctor was on about.

"A hysterectomy." He looked at Juice blankly. "Complete removal of the uterus. If the damage is too severe that's the only course of action to stop the haemorrhage." Juice's heart stopped and tears pricked at his eyes at the doctors words. "I need your permission to go ahead if that's the case."

"Isn't there anything else? I mean, she wants more kids, I don't know if I can do that to her."

The doctor scoffed internally, still thinking Juice was to blame in the first instance. "That is the last course of action we'll take. But like I said, if nothing else works that's what we need to do."

"Last possible option. Please do everything you can." Juice begged him.

"Of course." Not for Juice but for the patient he would. He felt terribly sorry for Roxy, he saw battered women all the time. "The ward clerk will have some paperwork for you to sign but I'll go ahead and scrub up. See what we can do. The nurses will keep you up to date." He didn't bother shaking Juice's hand but gestured towards the desk for paperwork and rushed off to the OR.

Leaving Juice behind to melt down.

xxx xxx

"Any news from Juice?" Chibs asked Jax as they watched Happy inflict maximum pain on the two bound Devils.

Harley had ended up leaving the barn to stand outside with some of the other Sons who couldn't hack it. The screams still filtered out through the doors but at least she didn't have to see what was causing them.

"I got a message saying she was in surgery but that was it. I've sent Tara to head down there with Carlos. Venus is meeting them there too."

"Good. Didn't realise she'd need surgery. Hope it's not too bad."

"He didn't say anything. But she was bleeding pretty bad when they left."

"Shit."

"Yeah." Jax hung his head and dropped his smoke to the floor. His sister didn't deserve any more shit on her plate. Not after everything the club and he himself had put her through. He messaged Tara again to demand an update and hoped they'd get some good news.

Happy had finally stopped and stood back to admire his work. The two men were a bloody mangled mess, despite Happy only being able to work one handed.

"Probably about time we put them out their misery Hap." Chibs interjected.

Happy nodded and grabbed his gun. Ace, half consciously, watched him as Happy brought the barrel to the unconscious President's temple. Without a word Happy blew his brains out, covering both himself and Ace in blood. Ace whimpered as Happy took another step forward and gave him the same treatment. Happy to great glee in watching the light leave Ace's eyes as his skull exploded. _Fucking serves him right_. _Asshole._

Happy, happy with his work, turned and began packing up the stuff as best he could with one hand. Chibs took pity on him and moved forward to help.

"Go to the clubhouse, clean up, then head to St. Thomas. You'll need your hand seen to. I got this." Chibs assured him he'd take care of the tools and evidence.

Happy wanted to argue but right now he wanted nothing more than to clean himself and swallow several dozen oxy to dull the pain in his left hand.

So he and a very quiet Harley were taken back to the clubhouse for a quick clean up. Harley led the way to his dorm and ushered him into the shower while she gathered him fresh clothes.

After watching what she did she didn't know whether to be more scared of him after his performance the other night, or safe in knowing he'd do anything to protect her.

She lay the clothes on the vanity in the ensuite and left Happy to it and lay down on his bed. She was trying desperately to sort through the conflicting thoughts in her head when she felt the bed dip next to her.

Opening her eyes she found Happy sitting, shirtless, by her hip. He was looking down at his hands, not really sure what to say either. He knew she had been scared of him that night he hit her. She'd said she couldn't recognise him, his eyes had been blank. And Happy knew when he did his whole _Tacoma Killer_ shit he went to that same place. Maybe seeing him do that tonight would warn her off him for good.

"You good?" He asked quietly.

She was silent for a moment while she considered. Harley looked him over, she was obviously physically attracted to him, he was smoking hot in a rough around the edges, dangerous outlaw way. But she'd also seen the other side to him. His emotional side, of you could call it that. He truly cared about his brothers, his ma, and she knew he cared about her. The sticking point was his self control. He prided himself on being in control of his emotions and behaviour but he'd lost that control the other night and she ended up hurt. After seeing him in action today it chilled her to the bone. What if there was a next time? And what if that next time he went so far over the edge he did something worse than a slap and manhandling?

She cleared her throat and wrapped her fingers around his good wrist. "I'm ok." She looked intently at him, unsure what to say next.

"Are we ok?" He asked tentatively.

She sighed lengthily. "I'm not sure Hap. I mean I love you, I really, really do. But I'm scared..."

"Scared of what?" He turned to face her more. "Because I told you already you don't have to be scared of me. I'm not gunna lose control like that around you again."

"You don't know that Happy. You never thought you would before. And seeing what you did tonight? What if next time you lose it it's not just a slap? What if you go further than that?"

Happy sighed in frustration. "It won't. I know that doesn't sound like it right now but it won't. I love you so fucking much and I can't lose you. Everything I did tonight was for you. I can't make up for what I did the other night but I'll spend the rest of my fucking life proving to you I'm better than that."

Harley surveyed him closely but eventually caved. She knew she'd never be able to live without him. Not now she knew what life was like with him. So she moved up to catch him in a kiss.

Their make out session got very heated, very quickly. But then Happy forgot about his injuries and got carried away, resulting in a great deal of pain.

"Alright hotshot, maybe we should go to the hospital now." She moved up from her spot in the bed and hurried him along. "I need to see how Roxy is anyway."

Happy agreed and allowed Harley to guide him out to her car, which had been returned to the lot. He might have been in a shit ton of pain but at least he had his girl back.


	139. Chapter 139

**A/N: hey guys. Here's a slightly long one. Nothing major happens but I wanted to kinda tie things up and address a few things for everyone. So here we go!**

 **You'll have to let me know if there are things you want covered. I saw a suggestion in a review and will have that included very shortly ;) so if there's other stuff you'll need to say hehe.**

 **Thanks to _Katrina, docsangel, Lennon, AngR, terriberri,_ and _tellmesweetlittlelies_ for your reviews!!! I love love love hearing what you think so thank you! **

**As always read, enjoy, and review!**

 **xxx xxx**

Juice had been sat in the waiting room for what seemed like hours, with just Tara and Carlos, for company when Harley and Happy finally showed up. Happy needed to go down to ED but he wanted to see what was happening with Roxy first. Harley wasn't best pleased but he figured his hand was fucked up enough as it was that an extra few minutes wasn't going to change anything.

Harley immediately went to his side and pulled him in for a hug, kissing Carlos on the head who was asleep in his father's arms.

"Any news?" She asked worriedly.

"Nothing yet. Been in there this whole time." Tara supplied when Juice didn't offer anything.

"How are you Juice?" Harley asked softly.

He let his eyes snap to hers and shrugged. "Might have to do a hysterectomy they said."

Harley gasped and tears pricked in her eyes while happy just looked on confused.

"Removal of the uterus Happy." Tara added for Happy's benefit, happy nodded solemnly and cursed out loud wishing he could go back and do some more removal of body parts on the Devils. "Only if they can't stop the bleeding Juice. And they're amazing surgeons in there. Really." Tara squeezed Juice's free hand softly and he nodded, dropping Harley's gaze.

Juice finally looked to Happy and took in his appearance. "Shit brother, you really need to see a doctor."

Happy shrugged. "Wanted to come see what was happening first."

"Thanks man. But you should go fix yourself up. I'll let you know when we hear more." Juice urged.

"Ok." Happy nodded and turned to Harley. "I'll see you in a bit." He gave her a tentative kiss, knowing she wouldn't want to leave Roxy's side when they heard news.

Harley nodded. She accepted the kiss but now that reality was crashing back around them and the adrenalin of the situation was wearing off she was starting to feel a bit awkward again. "I'll come check on you when I hear more."

Happy took his leave and sighed heavily as he made his way down to the ED. He knew he shouldn't have let the girls go off by themselves. If he'd only done something else he could have saved this mess. Roxy didn't deserve that shit. Not after everything. He knew what this all meant and that was their baby making days would be over. And that would kill the couple. He was only just beginning to regain that desire for children. When he'd lost Ariana he'd shut it off, not wanting to ever attempt to bring another life into the world. The pain of losing them was all too much. That's why he'd never batted an eyelid when Juice needed back up in Stockton. He'd happily served those solitary sentences for having his back because he knew that pain.

He approached the sign in desk and handed over his details and signed the forms, luckily he was right handed.

The triage nurse came to take him back to a curtained off room and when she finally saw his hand she gasped.

"Dear lord, what happened?" She asked.

"Lay down my bike." Happy answered simply.

She raised an eyebrow sceptically. "Uh huh." She jotted it down on the form. She recognised the kutte and figured it was obviously something much more sinister but decided not to push it. "Any other injuries?"

"Few cuts and grazes." Happy answered, bored.

She looked him up and down. It was obvious he'd been punched given the state of his face but aside from the mangled hand she couldn't see anything else wrong with him.

"Can I see?"

Happy nodded and took off his singed kutte and shirt, with difficulty having had Harley help him dress, and placed them on the bed. He'd brushed the ash and cigarette butts off his kutte back at the barn, but it still smelt of burnt leather and tobacco. There were holes in the lining and some burn marks through his rockers but he wasn't gunna leave it there.

The nurse gazed over his toned and tattooed torso, any other time she would have appreciated it but right now it was a sight to behold for all the wrong reasons.

"Let me guess? Road rash?" She commented. The cuts very clearly being from a knife. The incisions were far too neat and ordered in a strange pattern.

Happy smirked and nodded, the nurse rolling her eyes in response.

"I'll go get the doctor." She sighed and left the room leaving Happy to mull over his thoughts in peace.

He was so fucking thankful Harley had agreed to take him back but knew they had a long road ahead. He shrugged to himself, fuck it, he went through this for her he could go through anything.

xxx xxx

"Mr. Ortiz?" Dr. Smith called into the waiting room and Juice practically stumbled in his rush to get up. He passed Carlos over to Harley and the group made their way over to the older doctor.

"May I speak with you? In private?" He asked, nodding slightly to see Dr. Knowles with the group. Figured. She was right in with the Sons.

"Anything you need to say they can know." He assured.

The doctor sighed. "Fine. Follow me." He turned on his heel and started to walk towards an office down the corridor.

"Uhm is she ok?" Juice asked breathlessly.

"Mrs. Ortiz is in recovery but there are some things we need to discuss before I can take you to her. Please?" He gestured Juice through the door into the interview office and Juice stopped seeing the official looking woman in there with a notepad and pen.

"What's this?" Juice demanded. He knew an ambush when he saw one.

"This is Ms. Clarkson. She's a social worker at the hospital. We have a few questions we need to ask before I am able to let you back to see your wife." He gestured to the seats at the table.

"Is this necessary? His wife's just had major fucking surgery! We want to know what's happened." Harley demanded.

The doctor eyed her up and down, taking in the fading bruising around her neck, the obvious punch injuries to her face and sighed. Another one of the battered biker whores.

"It's really not necessary for you to be in here. If you'd like to leave..." he left it hanging.

Juice placed a hand on Harley's arm before she could retort. He just wanted this done so he could find out what the fuck was happening.

"This'll be a lot easier if we cooperate." Tara supplied. She knew exactly what was going on and figured it would be something Dr. Smith would pull.

Harley and Juice relented and took the seats across from the doctor and social worker, Harley handing Tara Carlos seeing as she was standing. Plus she wanted to be ready for whatever came at them.

"So what is this all about?" Juice demanded.

Ms. Clarkson spoke up, in a very annoying voice laced with fake concern. "We are extremely concerned about the condition Ms. Ortiz presented in. We do not report these issues to the police immediately, however it is hospital policy to investigate further before allowing visitors to the patient."

"Police? What are you talking about?" Juice asked, heart racing now wondering what they were trying to say.

"Mr. Ortiz, you told me her nephew ran into her and caused this injury. In my professional opinion there is no way a child could have caused such damage. Not to mention the injuries to her face." Dr. Smith answered seriously.

"What are you implying here?" Juice asked dangerously.

"We need to determine if it is safe for you to be visiting Mrs. Ortiz when she is in such a vulnerable position. In cases of domestic abuse the chances of further assaults increase dramatically when the victim is in hospital-" Ms. Clarkson began.

"Are you fucking kidding me with this shit?!?" Juice bellowed, standing quickly and knocking his chair back slightly. "I'd never lay a fucking hand on my wife."

"Sir if you could just-" Ms. Clarkson started.

"No! Take me to my wife, NOW!" Juice demanded.

Harley stood alongside him and tugged on Juice's arm wanting him to sit down and stop making it worse.

"Please, this is really not what it looks like." Harley interjected calmly as Carlos began to squawk in Tara's arms, woken by his father's outburst.

"What is it then?" Ms. Clarkson questioned, not looking up from the page she was scribbling on.

"I can't say but Juan is _not_ assaulting Roxy. I can assure you."

Dr. Smith almost snorted derisively but held back. "I'm sure you can understand my apprehension in believing you Miss..."

"Delaney. Miss Delaney. And no I don't understand." She glared.

Before anyone else could dig a bigger hole Tara interjected. "I think you should speak with Dr. Warner and Dr. Baker before you make any further assumptions Dr. Smith. They know the patient's family situation extremely well and I'm sure will happily vouch for her safety."

Dr. Smith grit his teeth but Ms. Clarkson stood and excused herself to call the two doctors.

"Thank you Tara." Juice relaxed and sat back down before turning to Dr. Smith. "Now will you tell me what's happening with my wife?"

Dr. Smith sighed and conceded, knowing if he made any wrong moves here his ass would be on the line. Baker and Warner were very respected doctors within the hospital and could make his life hell if he did the wrong thing.

"Fine. Your wife's condition was very serious upon admission, which is why we've taken this situation so seriously." He tried to smooth the situation but Juice just gestured for him to go on. "She's in a stable condition. It was touch and go there for a while as there was a lot of internal bleeding at the c section site. We have managed to fix the ruptured incision, but only just. It's going to mean serious recovery time as any further damage will result in another haemorrhage and will require a hysterectomy."

Juice breathed a sigh of relief. "How much recovery we talking here doc?"

"I'm going to have to defer to Dr. Warner here as she's the OBGYN, I'm a trauma specialist so it's just my job to stop the bleeding and fix the problem as it presents. She will be able to give you better information when she sees Mrs. Ortiz tomorrow. However, I will be keeping her in for the next week and would like her to recouperate in a wheelchair for a few more weeks before she tries walking. We'll set her up with a physio to help in the meantime."

Juice sighed lengthily and Harley patted his arm. "Will she be able to have more kids?"

"I'm not fully informed on her previous issue other than what I read quickly in her notes but I'm doubtful. Again that is a question Dr. Warner will be able to answer in full."

"Fine." Juice was about ready to burst into tears at this stage. "Can I please just go see her?" He begged. He was beyond caring who saw at this point. "I need to be with her."

The doctor eyed the biker in front of him, his shirt and arms were stained with droplets of his wife's blood and given the break down in his macho, biker gang appearance he was starting to believe his story. Well not the nephew part, but that Juice wasn't the cause of the injury.

He relented finally. "Ok. I'll take you to see her, however I'll be waiting to see what Ms. Clarkson hears from the other doctors."

"Thank you." Juice sighed and they all stood to leave the room, Juice taking an awake Carlos from Tara's arms and following the doctor back to the ward.

Ms. Clarkson met them there having just been on the phone to the other two doctors. "I spoke with both. They've vouched for Mr. Ortiz and Dr. Warner has said she'll be with you as soon as she arrives for her shift."

Juice smiled and followed the tight lipped doctor to Roxy's room. It was almost dawn now so he figured he'd be able to thank Dr. Warner in person very soon.

"I will warn you, she has lost a lot of blood and we had to give her some during theatre. She is also on some heart monitoring due to the trauma so you'll need to be careful. She has woken up once since we took her back here but it'll be a while for the anaesthesia to wear off fully so just take it easy and don't expect too much sense for a while."

Juice didn't thank the doctor, didn't even acknowledge he'd said anything, he was worried he'd punch him if he looked at him. Instead he carried their little baby over to Roxy and sat down on the chair next to the bed, pulling it closer so he could grab onto her hand with his free one. Juice looked over Roxy's pale figure and sighed, at least she'd be ok, the damage was done but she'd live and that's all that mattered to him right now.

Harley wiped away a tear, feeling super guilty she hadn't been the one hit by the Devil, she'd have been fine if it was her. But she was relieved Roxy would be ok.

After a quick moment Harley decided she'd leave Juice to it and go find Happy. Clearing her throat she turned to Tara, who was also hanging back by the door. "We'll leave you in peace for a bit Juice. I'll go see Happy and come back later."

Juice just nodded and thanked her as she left. Tara also decided to leave them to it so after grabbing Carlos' bag and pram for Juice from the nurse's desk she dropped them off and left to go hang around in her office and wait for news from Jax.

Jax was helping with the clean up and Tara had a sofa in her office so she decided to make the most of it. Thankful everyone was ok. After recouperating from the Gemma attack she was able to resume consult duties at work. It was still her hand injury preventing her from doing surgery. It took a while for her to come to terms with that as being a surgeon had been her dream, her calling, but then she realised that her hands weren't the only thing she was good with and found her love in helping the other doctors and surgeons come up with plans and treatment options for the little babies in their care. So for now she was content with working part time at the hospital. It was manageable and gave her plenty time with the boys and Jax, and it had been just what the doctor ordered.

xxx xxx

"Ok Mr. Lowman." The doctor attached the X-ray films to the light board in his cubicle and flicked the switch, illuminating the mangled mess that was Happy's hand. "Nice clean breaks on all four fingers. No pins required." Happy breathed a sigh of relief, relieved his recovery time would be a lot less. Out of commission clutch hand meant no riding. No riding meant no voting. And no voting meant no club, for a while at least. And no SAA patch. "We'll need to do some serious manipulation to get the bones back in place which will be difficult thanks to the swelling. So we will have to take you to surgery, but it won't be major. Afterwards you'll need to wear a splint cast for 4 weeks followed by a soft splint for another 2. Due to the nature of the breaks and the position you'll be susceptible to arthritis earlier in life so I'd recommend to start taking supplements now and stave it off as long as possible. Riding gloves will help. Also during this recovery time you'll have to be careful and no exertion on the hand. I hope you know this means no bike during this time, it'll ensure you heal properly and minimise the risk of early arthritis." Dr. Roland knew who Happy was and was familiar with many of the Sons, he knew the pull of the bike would be too strong.

"Better than months of pins and surgeries." Happy shrugged in response.

"Exactly. Ok well I'll go get an OR ready and have some nurses get you ready for theatre." He shook Happy's hand and left him and Harley to it.

"Well that's good news." She sighed in relief. Harley had been petrified he'd not be able to ride again, or for a long time at least and that would have killed him. Plus she felt awful this all happened in order to protect her.

"Yeah." He shrugged. He was just so tired and needed to sleep. It had been a crazy week. Emotionally devastating and now physically exhausting. "You gunna be ok?"

Harley nodded, she'd filled him in on Roxy and would go back up there while Happy was in theatre.

"Good." He grunted as he lay on the bed, he was starting to feel pretty weak after everything and he still hadn't eaten.

"We still have shit loads to talk about though Happy." She said softly.

"I know." He put his good arm over his eyes to shield from the glaring hospital lights. They'd given him some painkillers but he still couldn't move his bad arm too much.

Harley softly stroked his shoulder, the tingling feeling good down his painful side and he relaxed. "After this shit we go see ma and then me n you can chat for as long as you want."

Harley rolled her eyes. "I hope you plan on participating in the conversation seeing as it's your behaviour we'll be addressing."

Happy stiffened at her tone. He'd thought they'd be past all this confrontation after everything that happened at the warehouse. Guess he was wrong. "I thought we were cool? Of course I'll participate. I'm just fuckin out of it right now ok?" He said defensively.

"Yeah of course, sorry." She apologised softly. "Look that shit was hectic, and I can never thank you enough for distracting them. I'd have been fuckin out of it after one nail." She looked down at her perfectly manicured acrylics and shuddered. "But in the light of day I'm still hurt babe. And I just want you to take that seriously. I'm all in but I just need to clear the air still. That's all."

Happy moved his arm so he could look at her. "I know. And like I told ya before, I'll make this up to you for the rest of my life. Whatever you need girl."

Harley smiled softly. "Thanks Hap."

Not long after their talk three nurses came in to set Happy up for theatre. Harley gave him a quick kiss and let them wheel him away, grumbling about the hospital gown as he went.

Harley smirked and picked up his kutte, leaving the rest of his clothes with the nurse to move to his room, and trudged back up the stairs to Roxy's ward. She decided she'd need to fix Happy's kutte, if she could, clean it at least. It was the least she could do.

So she made her way to Roxy's room and checked in before leaving to run back to her place to fill in Ysabel, grab a change of clothes and her sewing kit.

xxx xxx

Harley had been and gone after telling him Hap would be in surgery for a couple of hours. Juice felt awful he suffered those injuries for Roxy, but relieved at the same time. If it had been anything more traumatic he didn't think Roxy would have made it out of there alive. Not after last time.

Carlos was asleep again in his pram after having a belly full of milk so Juice just rested in the chair and tried to make himself as comfortable as possible. Roxy still hadn't wakened again but he was starting to get really tired.

Finally, just as his eyes began to droop, Roxy stirred. She seemed confused at first but soon made sense of her location when she saw Juice move to hold her hand.

"What's happened?" She croaked softly.

"Do you remember you guys being taken?" Juice almost whispered.

"Yeah."

"One of the guys kicked you real bad in the stomach. Needed surgery to fix up the c section." Juice squeezed her hand in reassurance.

"Oh." Roxy looked down at his hand on hers and squeezed it. "Sorry babe."

"Nothing to be sorry about. The doc told me he almost had to do a hysterectomy and would I give permission for that..."

"Oh baby." She cradled his face in her hand and stroked his face with her thumbs. "That would have been hard. But if it's what they had to do it would have had to happen."

"But god, I didn't think I'd be able to look you in the eyes again after that."

Roxy nodded. "Well look it didn't happen. But hey, I trust you and I trust that when shit goes down you'll make the right decisions on my behalf. So stress less." Truth be told she had been petrified at the thought of having a hysterectomy. She still held out hope they'd be able to have at least one more child and being so close to that door being closed for Good was scary.

"Thanks." He smiled at her trust. "Breakfast is soon and Dr. Warner needs to come talk to you about recovery. So maybe get some more sleep." He offered after seeing how exhausted she was. "Carlos is out for the count."

Roxy stifled a yawn at the mention of sleep. "Yeah good idea." She smiled, and Juice dropped a kiss on her head.

"I'll be right here."

xxx xxx

Mari was still asleep when Harley had been home so she explained the gist of the story to Ysabel, who was naturally very worried. Harley assured her they'd be back early evening and that everything was fine, then high tailed it out of there before Mari woke up for the day, not in the mood to explain it all to her right now.

By the time she got back to the hospital Happy was in recovery and now they were in his ward waiting for afternoon rounds before he could be discharged.

Now they had a private room, and Happy was feeling much more lucid, he decided to broach the many issues their relationship had faced in the last week.

"So. What did you want to talk about?" He finally asked.

Harley snapped her attention from the tv and smiled softly. "We don't have to do this now. It's ok."

"We do it now. When we go home in a bit I want to be going home with this shit sorted."

Harley took in the earnest look in his eyes and nodded. "Have it your way." She smiled and he rolled his eyes.

"Trust me. My way would involve a lot less talkin."

Harley rolled her eyes now, sex with Happy was kind of off the table at the moment. They'd got carried away in the rush of things at the warehouse but now she wasn't so sure she could get past the hurt of last week.

"Well that's the first thing I wanna talk about, because right now I don't know if I can be with you." Happy looked hurt but before he could come to the wrong conclusion she started speaking again. "Look I wanna preface this with my eternal gratitude for everything you did in that barn. We'd never have made it out if it wasn't for you. And sacrificing yourself for us? That was a step beyond Hap. I've never seen something so courageous, yet scary, in my life. And sitting there watching that guy hurt you with no way for me to help was killing me. I don't think I'll ever forget that." She looked down at his good hand, clasped in hers, stroking it softly with her thumbs.

"You know I'd do anything for you Harley. Together or not."

"I know." She nodded. "It did remind of the selfless side of you, who'd do anything for anyone else that he cared about. You'd die for your family. And it reminded me of your self control. I mean fuck you didn't even flinch when they ripped your nails off. I'd have probably died then and there."

Happy chuckled. "Ain't nothin. I'd have done it 100 times over for you."

Harley thought carefully over her words for the next bit. "In reference to that night though Hap," she started and Happy tensed, "I never made you promise to stay faithful on runs. Hell I watch porn for a living. I understand the difference between a fuck for release and making love or whatever. But _you_ were the one who fed me that shit about being faithful and promised you'd never touch another bitch. Then second things get hard you're balls deep down the clubhouse." She choked back a sob so she could continue, not realising how emotional she'd get when she had started. "That fucking hurt so much. You didn't even stop, Hap. You didn't come after me. That was the worst part, that you didn't even chase me and try to make up some lame excuse. You just let me go." Happy's eyes stayed firm on her face but she wasn't looking at him, she was staring at her hands trying desperately to get the tears under control. "I don't think I've ever been so disrespected in my life. I've tried everything and done everything to make sure I've always been the model example of Old Lady, not disrespect you in front of the club, follow your rules and orders. But now every time I walk in that clubhouse those bitches know what went down. They know you didn't want me and that you had one of them. And they're never gunna give up now."

"That was never my intention Harley. I swear to you. And when we get back I'll fuckin set em straight. I'll never touch them again. But I need to be honest here. I slept with a bitch up on the run that night after the heist." Harley frowned and rubbed away at some more tears that had formed. "Sleep is a fuckin strong word but well... you get the picture." Harley still didn't say anything and Happy sighed. "Remember that time at lockdown and everyone was pushing us about being together and I fucked off to RedWoody?" Harley grimaced and nodded, another reminder of him in someone else's arms thanks to that hickey. "I didn't even sleep with the bitch then. We made out and she got carried away, marked me up and I couldn't go through with it."

"Why are you telling me this now?" She huffed.

"Because since that first week hanging at your house I haven't been with anyone else till now. And I'm fucking pissed off with myself because loyalty is a big deal to me if you haven't noticed and I've fucked that right up."

Harley nodded and took his hand again. "I get it. You were in self destruct mode. We probably all saw it coming I guess."

"Maybe." He shrugged. "But I won't be touchin anyone else again I can assure you. I've felt the pain of losing you and I don't wanna feel that again."

Harley nodded. "Ok. But just know if you want to review the run rule or shit you just have to tell me. You know I'm open to discussion, but don't go behind my back. Please? I can't take the disrespect."

"Of course." He squeezed her hand.

"Now that shit at home? That argument? That was fuckin out of control on both parts. I just wanted to make you hurt like I was at finding you with that bitch. And I said some hateful shit. I should never have slapped you and I should never have said those things. You're not like your dad. Really. And I should never have baited you to hit me. So I apologise for that. I was scared and hurt and I just figured 'fuck it' I'm hurt inside so what do I care if the outside matches it."

Happy nodded in understanding. "You don't have to apologise. You had every right to say that shit after walking in on me. I'd have said a lot fuckin worse if the tables were turned."

Harley groaned. "That's just it. We can't do that shit if we're angry coz then we end up right back here, Hap."

"Ok, I get it." This was hurting his fucking head but Harley needed to get it out so he let her continue.

"When you lost control Hap, I couldn't see anything in your eyes, like no recognition of who I was or what was happening. And after seeing everything at the warehouse my deepest fear now is there'll be a next time. And that next time you'll crack and I won't be able to stop you and I'll end up tied to some fuckin table while you go at me with some rusty knife and some pliers and it chills me to the bone." She was openly crying now, revealing her deepest fear, and worrying that it'd push him away.

Happy jerked his hand away from her and rubbed it down his face. Hearing Harley say those things did scare him. It scared him because he'd scared her and that was something he'd never wanted to do.

He needed some air and he needed to move, wrenching the blankets off of him he climbed out of the bed. He was almost to the door when he realised he was still wearing a shitty hospital gown and figured he couldn't go outside in it.

"Happy wait!" Harley ran over to him. "What are you doing?"

Happy ran his hand roughly down his face as the urge to punch his splint straight through the wall took hold. Harley reached him and squeezed his arm to try get his attention and when she did he backed her against the wall.

His voice was urgent and the look in his eyes was one of almost fear, she couldn't quite tell, but she knew that whatever he was saying was serious.

"I will never, _ever_ , lose control like that around you again. And I would never let it go that far baby. I'd never be able to do that to you. Even in the darkest fucking depths of my black mind I couldn't do that to you. There is nothing on this earth you could do or say to me to make me hurt you like that. So please, _please_ , never think that again." It had always been a part of what kept him from relationships after he went down the enforcer path. Part of it was Ariana's memory and part of it was the fear that the woman wouldn't be able to seperate him from what he did for the club and he didn't want Harley thinking like that.

Harley let his words wash over her and could feel the emotion in the air between them. With her back against the wall and Happy overpowering her senses she found it hard to think straight. But she did manage to come to the conclusion of believing him, despite her reservations.

"I can't promise you I won't get angry again or hurt or whatever but I could never hurt you like that. Please believe me Harley!" He was desperate now, begging her to understand.

Harley nodded. "I believe you, Hap, against my better judgement but I do."

Harley had barely finished the sentence before his lips crashed on hers and she was taken by surprise, but within seconds she responded in kind and pushed herself against him. Happy tangled his good hand in her hair and held her to him while he dominated the kiss. Harley could do nothing but grip on to him and ride the passion.

When he finally pulled back they were both panting and their lips were swollen but it felt good.

"Thank you. I know it takes a lotta fuckin trust and faith in me but I won't let you down." He assured as his eyes bored into hers.

"Ok big man." She smirked and pushed him back to the bed. "But we should probably cool it before they come to discharge you. We got all night in our own bed now." She stroked her fingertips down his arm and sighed seductively. "And I've _really_ missed you."

Happy flicked his hand up and caught her hand before it could go lower to his hips. "You got no idea how good that sounds."

Harley didn't know why she'd been able to forgive him so quickly, or actually be willing to jump his bones right now, but it was probably the combination of the life threatening situation, his sacrifice, and the declarations of love that were doing it.

She moved her hand back to his and grasped it, deciding not to wind him up much more. That and there was one more serious thing she had to say.

"In the spirit of starting us off again on a good foot there is probably something I should tell you so you can decide once and for all what you wanna do." Happy snapped his eyes to hers, alarmed at the tone of the conversation. "I want a baby, Hap, soon. And I wanna get married. I want to have a family and do it properly. I just figured I should let you know because if it's not something you want we should probably rethink this and now would be a good time to do that."

Happy was stunned slightly so he just nodded and squeezed her hand unsure of what to say. And luckily the doctor interrupted before he was required to respond.


	140. Chapter 140

**A/N: yay thanks for the awesome reviews guys. I'm so glad you've enjoyed how this turned out and how the whole Happy/Harley situation resolved. More to come...**

 **But in the meantime we are winding down to the last couple chapters and epilogue so watch out! I don't think there'll be more than 5 more chapters. Maybe 10 tops if I get carried away. But the end is nigh!**

 **As always read, review, and enjoy!!!**

 **xxx xxx**

Juice held Roxy's hand while Dr. Warner went through everything with them that afternoon. Tara had come to take Carlos for a while so they could talk in peace, but Roxy didn't want him going far.

"So in terms of future pregnancies it's too early to really say much but I don't have high hopes of a natural conception. I'm sorry to tell you this." She shuffled papers on her clipboard, hating the awkwardness of discussions like this. "We knew it would be difficult after the initial injuries but this time round it has just made that scarring bigger. Not to mention that future c sections would be almost impossible. We'd have to do a vertical incision, which is fine medically, but leaves a lot bigger scars on the outside."

Roxy wasn't really taking it in much. She focused on the bedclothes while she could sense Juice was hanging on the doctor's every word. In all honesty she was devastated. She knew it was unlikely she'd have had more children after Carlos, despite how desperately she wanted them, but this was all but confirming that theory.

"Do you understand Roxy?" Dr. Warner asked softly, obviously for the second time given her expectant look.

Roxy snapped her eyes up to the doctor's and gave a sheepish nod.

"Ok. I'll leave you to it but I'll see you in the morning again. We should have you out of here by the end of the week but you'll be needing the wheelchair at home for at least the first two weeks. And I'd suggest bed rest just to be safe. I must stress that the internal sutures really are just hanging in there so you will need to be careful." Dr. Warner looked to Juice. "Juan Carlos? Can I speak to you for a moment? Outside?"

Juice looked confused but turned to Roxy who just shrugged. "Ok." He followed her to the door.

Dr. Warner sighed and shut the door behind them. "I shouldn't really be talking outside of Roxy's earshot but I really need you to work on this with her. If she doesn't take it easy she will rupture the site again and a haemorrhage like that is life threatening."

"Yeah of course." Juice nodded earnestly.

"I'm not going to ask what really happened because I know you won't say, but it's obvious Abel didn't do that amount of damage and given the other injuries she's sporting it's clear something far more sinister happened-"

"- I didn't do this to her!" Juice immediately retorted.

Dr. Warner placed a hand on his arm soothingly. "I know you didn't. That's not what I'm saying. What I am saying is you need to keep her safe from whatever this was. I've heard enough of the Charming rumour mill over the years to know what goes on around here. I've distracted the social workers for now but if there's a next time it won't be so easy. As it is she still has to go through a discharge interview thanks to Dr. Smith."

Juice huffed out a sigh. "Don't you think I know that? I don't want there to be a next time... but there always fuckin is. We just can't catch a fucking break." Juice leant back against the wall and pressed the heels of his palms to his eyes. The never ending frustration in his brain reaching boiling point. "I want to take her out of here and run for the fuckin hills and keep her in a little bubble. But if I do that then we're alone and that won't be good for either of us... or Carlos."

Dr. Warner nodded sympathetically. "Look, for now, just stop stressing. You're doing a great job of caring for her and Carlos. So just take it easy in here. Let the nurses and doctors help you as much as possible and when you get home just relax. Have people come and do the washing up or the cooking and just be together. I know you've got a big network in the club, so now just use it. You are both going to need it." She looked through the papers in her file and pulled out the pamphlet she was looking for. "This is a support line for new dads. Mainly they're there to offer support for partners who's wives etc are dealing with postpartum depression, or for Dad's of babies in the NICU or whatever. But speak to them if you need to. It'll help." She gave him one last reassuring smile and left him to continue her rounds.

Juice sighed and looked down at the stock photo of "dads" on the front of the pamphlet. Happy, smiling dads sitting together with their babies. He scoffed and shoved it into the back pocket of his jeans and made his way back inside.

Roxy hadn't moved from where he left her, obviously, she was still staring at the criss crossing pattern on her white hospital blanket. He sighed and came over to take his seat beside her once again.

"How you doing with all of this babe?" He asked softly.

Roxy tore her eyes away from the bedclothes and looked into his concerned brown eyes and sighed. "Better than you think I am." She replied softly.

"I'm just worried about you." He took her hand in his.

"Honestly Juan, you don't need to be. I'm just thankful I got out of there in one piece." She squeezed his hand. "I was so scared. And watching Happy go through that... I dunno. I think Harley and I owe him our lives to be honest."

Juice leant forward and ghosted his lips softly over hers. "Don't think I can ever repay him for looking after you like he did."

Roxy cupped his face in her free hand and stroked his cheek softly with her thumb. "I love you."

Juice cracked his infamous grin. "I love you too."

xxx xxx

Happy had been given his discharge information and sent on his way from the hospital. He grumbled a bit about riding bitch in Harley's car. When she'd left earlier in the day Montez had taken her to get her car and now Happy, being under strict instructions to rest his hand, was sulking in the passenger seat.

"Oh my god Hap! No one is gunna think you're a pussy for riding bitch home from the hospital after what you did. Suck it up princess." Harley teased. She couldn't quite hear his response but it was probably a curse word. So she just left him to his sulking and pulled into their driveway.

" _Ay! Dios mio!_ Happy are you ok?" Ysabel practically burst through the front door as soon as she heard the car pull in.

"Yes _tia,_ I'm fine!" He grumbled and accepted her hug followed by his cousins' hugs.

Happy hadn't spent a great deal of time around his cousins but they loved him all the same. Franky was the oldest, he was 15, then there were the twins Eva and Luisa who were 11. As youngsters they'd been in awe of him but now Franky was older he was becoming a bit resistant, especially after his father died.

"Mari is napping but you should go in and say hello. She might wake up to your voice. If not she should wake in the next hour or so."

"Thanks." Happy excused himself to go see his ma while Harley settled on the sofa and finally relaxed. She felt like she could sleep for a year and not wake once.

"So everything is good now? Between you two?" Ysabel asked.

"It's complicated... but yeah. We're good."

Ysabel raised an eyebrow. "They didn't tell me what happened. But I'm guessing by the fresh injuries it was serious?" She asked in hushed tones as the twins were playing on their computer game by the tv while Franky played on his phone on the recliner.

Harley cleared her throat uncomfortably. "Yeah. But Happy saved us. Earned his way back into my good books I guess."

Ysabel patted Harley's hand. "As long as you're safe."

Harley nodded but thankfully didn't have to say anything else as Happy called out to her from down the hall.

She entered Mari's room to find her holding Happy's hand as he sat next to her bed.

"Ah _mija_ I'm so happy to see you both together." She croaked. "He won't tell me what happened but whatever it was it's had a good outcome."

Harley pressed a kiss to Happy's forehead. "I guess so."

Harley's phone started ringing before she could take a seat so she flipped it open to answer. Happy kept his eyes on his ma as she watched Harley pace at the foot of the bed.

"That was Juice. He's asked if I can grab some stuff from their house. He's staying the night there and needs some more of Carlos' stuff and some clothes for him. I won't be long."

Happy sighed. "You need to rest Harley. You've only slept a couple hours in the hospital chair since everything."

"I'll be fine Hap. I'll quickly drop it off then I'm locking myself in for the night." She walked over and stopped in front of him. "Promise." She dropped a quick kiss to his lips. "I'll be back soon."

"Be safe." Happy called out as she left the room and headed back out again. "She needs to chill out." He said to himself.

He still hadn't had a chance to answer her earlier question, regarding babies and marriage, but he was slowly starting to formulate the answer in his mind.

Mari watched Happy as his eyes followed Harley out of the room. She knew how relieved he was to have her back and it relaxed her to know that he would be safe when she was gone. Then she figured the time was right to pass something along she'd been contemplating for a while.

" _Mijo_? Go grab the jewellery box from the garage. The one I had you bring from the storage unit."

Happy nodded, figuring she was wanting some keepsake or other and left to get it. When he returned he handed it over to her, balancing it delicately on her legs as she sat in the bed.

Mari smiled as she moved some pieces of jewellery around. She didn't have much and anything she did have wasn't worth much either. But one piece she had kept and no matter how hard up for cash they had been with her medical bills she could never bear to part with it.

Mari pulled out her mother's engagement ring and studied it in her hands, a small smile playing on her lips. "This was your _abuela_ ' _s_ engagement ring. She gave it to me not long before she died."

Happy studied the ring in his mother's frail hand and fought hard to bite back the emotion that sentence brought on. His _abuela_ had been his safety net growing up, but when his father abandoned them his ma took a job in Bakersfield and they had to leave her behind. By that point, when Happy was a teenager, she'd been in a care home so she couldn't come with. Didn't want to come with as she was settled there. So his visits grew fewer and farther between. Then when he found out she'd finally passed away a few months after Ariana he'd been devastated. But his grief for her just got consumed in his grief for Ariana and he'd shut it out.

"Ma, I can't take it. She wanted you to have it." He protested.

Mari scoffed. "And what am I to do with it?" She tsked. "I want you to give it to Harley. Your _abuelos_ had a long and happy marriage, maybe this will be a good luck charm."

Happy nodded and accepted the ring from his mother. It wasn't like the ring he'd bought Ariana. He hadn't had much money fresh out of school so it was a tiny gold band with a speck of a diamond, but she'd loved it nonetheless. Now it sat in the safe in Harley's closet. This ring was old, but beautiful. He was surprised his _abuelo_ had been able to afford it, though he had always been a hard working man. It was an Art Deco style gold ring, a small square cut diamond in the middle surrounded by a halo of smaller diamonds. It was beautiful that was for sure.

"Are you sure ma?" He tore his eyes away from the ring to look to his mother.

"Nothing would make me happier than seeing you happy, Macario." She croaked and Happy nodded.

"Time to get some plans in motion."

xxx xxx

"You alright?" Happy asked quietly as they finally lay in bed. He could feel Harley's tense form beside him and worried.

"Yeah." She answered softly.

"I can sleep on the sofa if you prefer..." He was worried she still wasn't quite over their blow up yet, not that he'd blame her.

Harley clutched his hand suddenly and he stopped.

"Please don't leave me." Her soft voice was quiet in the dark room and, stunned, he settled back into bed with her.

"What's wrong?" He pulled her against him as he felt her cry and, dumbfounded, he tried to comfort her. "Girl...?"

"I'm sorry it's just-" she sniffed, "I was so fucking scared Hap."

Happy pulled her against him tighter and shushed her softly, stroking her hair with the hand curled under her while he kept a tight grip on her back with his casted arm.

"I know. But we're safe now."

"I just didn't want anything to happen when we'd left things like we did, couldn't bear the thought of actually losing you."

"It was my fault Harley. Not yours. You shouldn't have felt like that."

Harley slowed her tears and pulled herself away slightly. "I know. But I just... I love you so much Hap. And now when I close my eyes I either think of them hurting you, taunting you, and it kills me."

"That shit ain't nothin girl. I've been through worse and would do again if it kept you safe."

"That's not really as comforting as you think it is."

"Hey, I paid for my sins. That's it. Don't take it on, you gotta let that shit go."

"That what you do?"

"It's already gone." He answered simply.

Harley nodded. "I'll try."

"Good."

They lay in peace for a few moments but the tension was still too much for Harley and she had to make a move. She still harboured some resentment to him for everything he'd put her through in the days leading up to the kidnaping but the emotion of their reconciliation outweighed it.

She pushed him flat on his back and straddled him before pushing her lips against his in a heated kiss.

Happy gripped the back of her head with his free hand, tangling his fingers in her hair and slipping his tongue against hers as she rolled her hips against his slow erection.

After a moment he pulled her back slightly. "You sure you wanna do this? Y'know, after everything?"

Harley placed a finger against his lips and moved back to kissing down his jaw. "Don't talk about that now." She mumbled against his skin before nibbling his ear, earning a low groan from Happy.

"Gotta be quiet killer." She slid down his body so she could pull his boxers down enough to free him. His aunt was in the spare room with the kids on camp beds in the living room, a reminder he didn't need.

Happy moaned as she took him in her hand and slowly worked him, Happy's muscular body twitching under her ministrations.

Happy used his free hand to tug her tank top down to free her breasts and palmed them in his hand, frustrated he had the stupid splint cast on his other hand. After everything all he wanted to do was fuck her into the mattress, take everything she offered him and relish in her forgiveness. But then he figured it was probably best she was in control and setting the pace. It was what she needed.

After a few more moments of heated foreplay Harley slid down onto him and Happy saw stars, never thinking he'd feel this good again. Harley's breathy moans as she rode him spurred him on and he thrust up beneath her, as best he could with his left arm out of commission.

"I can never repay you for what you did, Hap." She whispered by his ear.

"You don't have to." His answer was strained with the effort his control was taking. "The second chance is enough." Harley rolled her hips expertly as he thrust into her, easily taking his thick length. "God, you feel so fuckin good, girl."

"Yes! Hap!" Harley's cries were quiet but still intense as they tried to keep their lovemaking private in the crowded house.

"I thought about this moment when they had me tied to that fuckin chair, just prayed you'd forgive me and it'd fuckin happen." Happy was rasping against her as she kissed his neck sloppily.

"Me too." She moved enough to kiss the patched up cuts on his chest. "I wanted to kiss these better that whole time. Don't know who they think they are touching what's mine."

"All yours huh?" Happy grinned, loving her territorial streak, even if it did come about from such a shit situation.

"Yes all mine." She nipped the juncture between his neck and shoulders as she gave a hard bounce back. "Don't fucking forget it."

"I won't... never again." He released his good hand from his grip on her hip to pull her to his lips and gave her a ferocious kiss. "Fuck, I'm so close girl, c'mon." He grunted.

Harley moaned and with a few more bounces and rolls of her hips she came undone on top of him and her languid movements pulled Happy deeper towards his own release.

"Fuck, the shit I'm gunna do to you when I can use this hand..." Happy writhed beneath her and wanted nothing more than to throw her over, but with only one arm it would be difficult.

Harley picked up the pace and sat up straighter on top of him so she could move faster and smirked. "Really? Well for right now I'm in charge. And right now I want you to cum."

With that Happy was over the edge, his good hand gripping bruisingly into her hip as he groaned quietly with his release. Harley slowed her movements to a slight roll and leaned back down to kiss up his neck. When his breathing evened out she moved to his lips and captured them in a slow kiss.

Eventually the sensation was too much and Happy nudged her off him so she could lie beside him, tucking herself under his arm where he stroked her hair.

"I love you, Happy." She whispered quietly.

"I love you too. And I promise I'm not gunna take you for granted again."

xxx xxx

Roxy's discharge day was finally here after 5 long days in the hospital and she was glad to be going home. Sulking because she was on very strict instructions to take it easy, but relieved nonetheless.

Juice went to grab her car seeing as he and Carlos had basically lived at the hospital. Carlos was allowed to stay with Roxy seeing as she was a new mother and Juice just jumped the visitation rules and stayed put most nights.

Tara had taken Carlos so Roxy could have her final checks and of course the meeting with the social worker. Juice had told her all about the lady from the other night and Roxy just prayed it wasn't Carol again. Carol Clarkson had worked with Roxy when she was at the hospital and was an absolute bitch to her. Probably due to her flaky nature and at the time Roxy didn't blame her seeing as she had more time off during her employ at St. Thomas than time working. But hearing that she'd been part of the meeting accusing Juice made her mad.

"Mrs. Ortiz?" Came after a soft knock on the door.

"Come in." Roxy called out and was glad to see a younger woman she didn't know enter the room.

"Hi I'm Marie Bennet, one of the social workers here at the hospital. I'm here to go through a few discharge questions with you."

"It's really not necessary. Dr. Smith got it all wrong."

Marie smiled and sat down in the chair next to Roxy's bed. "I'm sure, but it's protocol and I'll make it quick." Roxy nodded and gestured for her to continue. She seemed nice enough and she figured the sooner she got it over with the better.

Marie knew enough about the Sons to know it was a real possibility the patient's injuries were not related to domestic abuse. But surely they could have come up with a better cover story...

"So, How was it you came to be injured? It seemed pretty serious from what I've read in your notes."

Roxy eyed the young blonde trying to figure out her angle but when she sensed no volatility she decided to be nice. "My nephew and I were rough housing, not the best idea I know. And he ran and jumped off the sofa at me full pelt. Next thing I know I'm in here."

Marie raised an eyebrow. "How old is your nephew?"

"Almost four."

"Can you understand why that's a bit unbelievable? I mean, it was a very serious injury Mrs. Ortiz." Roxy simply shrugged in response so Marie sighed and put down her paperwork. "I'm not going to talk to anyone else. What we say here is confidential and I need to ask. Are you in any danger going home with your husband today?"

Roxy shook her head. "I promise you no. Juan is an amazing father and loving husband. He'd never do anything like this to me."

"It's just the doctor noted some facial injuries that looked like an assault. And there's a previous admission here for sexual assault."

"Please believe me Ms. Bennet. This was not my husband. That previous admission was not my husband and I just want to go home with him and regain some normality." Roxy was slightly shaky with the reminder and prayed it wasn't going to come to anything. She knew how bad this looked and it would be impossible to dispel in court if it ever came to that, given police reports were never filed against the real perpetrators the only real obvious cause would be domestic assault.

Marie smiled and nodded. "Look I know enough about SAMCRO to believe you. I just want to be sure I'm releasing you to a safe environment."

"Trust me, I don't think I'll ever be out without an escort again. They take looking after their family seriously..." Roxy hoped she'd get the gist and not ask anything else.

"Of course." She looked through the papers she brought in with her. "Just in case, I'm giving you some information on support lines. I know you said your husband didn't hurt you, but I have a feeling it wasn't your nephew. So if you're ever worried or want to talk to someone about whatever it was that happened then just call them. It's anonymous. And if something like this happens again do you have somewhere safe to go?"

"Yeah, my best friend." Roxy rolled her eyes internally at herself, that's if her best friend wasn't caught up right along with her. "We're pretty tight."

"Ok. Well I'm satisfied you're going to be safe. But like I said, if you need extra help, it's there."

"Thanks Ms. Bennet."

Just as they were wrapping up Juice knocked on the door and bounded in with a silly grin on his face. "Oh, sorry to interrupt-"

"Nope. It's all good. Looks like your wife is ready to go." Marie smiled at Juice who grinned back at Roxy.

"Finally! We got a feast waiting for us at home with a mountain of movies, courtesy of Venus and Harley."

"Sounds great baby." Roxy smiled softly as Juice walked around to collect her bags.

Marie turned to leave, happy with the outcome and hopeful that there wasn't going to be any follow up. Her notes would be logged but if Carol wanted to take it further she would. Unfortunately bias against the club and a suspicion like that could lead to child services involvement and she figured that's the last thing this couple needed. She'd read Roxy's previous reports from when she'd presented a year ago and it wasn't pretty, how she was still standing she didn't know. But she figured being in that deep with the club meant serious danger. Something that should warn off any potential crow eater. But, that wasn't her problem to fix just hopefully it was over for Roxy for now.

xxx xxx

Harley and Happy were hanging with them at the house for a bit. They'd had dinner with the couple and watched a film but soon it was time for Carlos' bath and bed. Something Roxy was pouting about. She loves bathing Carlos but in this condition she couldn't help.

"Look I'll go help Juice." Harley stood and took away the guys' empty beer bottles. "You two invalids just stay and gossip." She laughed at Happy, loving teasing him at the moment and followed Juice to the bathroom.

"So... what's the goss then Hap?" Roxy smirked and chuckled at Happy's frowning face. "Oh come on I'm just teasing."

"Not funny. She's driving me mad." He grunted but there was a twinkle in his eye that betrayed his true feelings. But he soon shifted uncomfortably as he mulled over his next words. "I uh, never got a chance to properly apologise for what went down that night. So... uh, I'm real sorry Roxy. I shoulda never lost my shit like that. You guys should always be safe with me and that night you weren't. So I apologise."

Roxy could tell how uncomfortable he was but took pity on him. He'd managed to redeem himself during the barn saga... just. "Look, Hap, I'm gunna preface this with my undying gratitude for how you looked after us. That shit was insane, and I was almost out my mind but you kept us together and I'm so thankful that I got back to my family because of you. But I'm not gunna lie. I was so fucking ready to put a bullet through your kneecap that night," Happy smirked internally, oddly proud that she'd choose to incapacitate him in such a way rather than go for a kill shot, "that girl is my fucking sister and she deserves respect. 100% of your respect, honesty, loyalty, love, everything she's giving you in return. She'd follow you to the ends of the earth Hap, you're lucky."

"I know I'm lucky. Luckiest motherfucker in Cali that she forgave me and took me back. And you know I'd do anything for you guys. I fucked up once but it'll never happen again. I give you my word. If I even step a foot outta line I'll give you a clear shot at that kneecap."

Roxy nodded. "Good. I just want you both to be happy. You do actually deserve it y'know."

"I do know. Which is why I want your help with something... but you can't tell Harley."


	141. Chapter 141

**A/N: thanks again everyone!!!**

 **So sad this is ending, actually not much left to go. It has been a labour of love over the last almost year but I've loved every second of it so thank you for reading!**

 **Thanks for reviewing to all you usual bunch! I _love_ hearing your thoughts and how much you're enjoying it. **

**I now have the first 3 chapters of my new Happy/OC fic written. Thanks to _AngR_ for getting me into Happy about 6 months ago. That's why he ended up playing such a big role in this towards the end lol. **

**So I'll be posting that as soon as this is done. Yay!**

 **Anyways, enjoy...**

 **xxx xxx**

"Ugh I can do it myself Juan!" Roxy shouted in frustration. He was trying to help dress her but she didn't want him around. He hadn't left her side the whole 5 days she was in hospital, nor the week since returning home.

At first it was sweet, then it was frustrating, and now it was downright suffocating. Roxy felt useless, she could barely do anything with Carlos other than feed and cuddle him and it was breaking her heart. She felt like a crap mum, a crap wife, and just crap in general.

"I'm just trying to help babe." He sighed and lay her clothes on the bed.

Roxy pulled the shirt down and sat on the bed to pull the yoga pants on, the compression would help the healing apparently but they were a bitch to put on.

Juice stood and watched her struggle for a moment before he took pity and went over, kneeling in front of her to slip them on over her feet and up her legs.

He helped her up and pulled them up towards her stomach, still kneeling in front of her, he looked up to see a tear streak down her face. Juice placed a small kiss on her belly, running his hands up her sides as he stood, kissing here and there as he went. He stopped when his hands were cupping her cheeks and placed a full kiss on her lips before pulling back.

Thumbs stroking her cheeks and rubbing away the tear marks he spoke. "Why are you crying?"

Roxy shrugged. "I don't know... I just feel useless."

"You're not useless babe you're-"

But Roxy cut him off, tears of frustration leaking out once again. "-yes I am! I want to change Carlos's diaper, I wanna bath him, I wanna do tummy time with him, walk with him, I want to cuddle you properly, make you dinner, go see you at work-"

"-and you'll get to do all those things but right now you need to heal. It's shit babe, I know it must be hard for you but just let me help. The easier I make it for you the quicker you'll heal and you'll be able to do those things again."

Roxy leant her head against him and clutched her hands into the back of his shirt and let her pity party continue for a moment. Juice just quietly stroking her hair while he waited.

Eventually she pulled back and looked up at him sheepishly. "I'm sorry."

"It's ok. I know you don't like being cooped up. But one more week and they'll review the bed rest yeah?"

Roxy nodded and Juice helped her through to the living room where they'd camped out most days. Juice had been off work and the guys took it in turns coming by to keep them company. Happy had been busy with his ma, she was fading quicker by the day and really didn't have much time left now, but he'd popped over once or twice while Harley was at RedWoody to go over plans with Roxy. At least that was keeping her sane.

Venus and Tara, along with the help of some crow eaters, had been bringing food by every day to keep them full and with Netflix and regular new release DVD rentals being dropped off by Rat they were kept occupied. Tara or Elyda would come by every day and take Carlos for a few hours to give Juice a bit of a break, so they were well and truly making use of the club support while they needed it.

"Look Carlos will be back by 4, so in the meantime why don't I make us some hot chocolate and we watch something and cuddle. I'll let you snuggle more than usual if you like." He offered with a grin. Juice had really been careful of everything and wouldn't let Roxy lie too close or twisted around him, this upset her more than most of the other restrictions. She loved being close to Juice. It calmed her and made her feel safe. Especially seeing as she was up most nights with nightmares thanks to the recent trauma dragging everything back up.

So she took him up on his offer and did just that. But halfway through their movie a car pulled up in their drive.

"Expecting someone?" Roxy queried.

"No one called." Juice got up to see who it was. "Happy." He moved to the door to let him in.

"Hey brother. How you doin?" He noticed the strain on Happy's face but didn't comment.

Happy grunted some kind of response and they shared a brief bro hug and Juice followed Hap through to the living room.

"What's up Hap?" Roxy asked, pulling herself up more on the sofa.

"Ma's taken a turn for the worse." He said lowly, not looking at Roxy initially.

"Oh no, I'm sorry to hear Happy."

Hap cleared his throat. "It's ok. But we gotta do this thing tonight. Is that enough time for you?"

"Uhm yeah, yeah of course." Roxy pulled her phone out. "When you picking up Harley?"

"6."

"Ok. I'll call Tara and get her to bring Carlos to yours. Venus will bring the stuff I made her buy. You just go home and sort Mari and Ysabel. We'll come round in a minute to help you set up."

Happy nodded. Truthfully he could have just called Roxy to set the plan in motion but really he just needed out of the house for a minute to clear his head.

He stood and made his way to the door. "Thanks for this Rox. I uh, didn't really know how to put it in motion."

"Are you kidding? Makes me feel useful and this is all so exciting." She frowned when she noticed the sad look on Happy's face. "I know it's coming at a shit time but it'll be really nice for Mari to see. She'll love you including her like this."

"Thanks." Hap turned and left them to it. Happy that things were going to happen but just praying it turned out good and that his ma was with it enough to notice.

xxx xxx

"This everything?" Juice asked as he brought the last couple of bags out of the house.

"Looks like it." Roxy was sitting on the garden lounger, itching to help set up but having to make do with just directing.

The nurse was in with Mari, preparing stuff to help her move into the garden later. It was cold but it would be pretty. Happy's instructions were pretty succinct, he was a creative guy, but he just didn't have the wherewithal to actually pull it together so that's where Roxy and her team came in.

Venus was busy in the kitchen, cooking up a storm, while Ysabel and Happy's cousins helped decorate the yard. Happy, Tig, and Juice were stringing fairy lights up everywhere and Roxy was directing Rat on where to place the flowers and candles.

"This is looking real good Happy." Roxy commented after they'd finished everything.

"Think it's romantic enough for her?" Happy questioned.

"Of course. But you know Harley isn't into all that shit."

"I know. Just wanted to show her I could do it." He shrugged and continued setting up the log burners for warmth.

They'd moved one of the recliners outside for Mari to sit on and the guys were going to help the nurse move her while Happy went to get Harley after work. The nurse was so excited at the plan, her job was pretty sad usually, working with terminally ill patients but she knew how excited Mari was and it brightened up her day.

"Mari will wake soon and we can start bringing her out here." The nurse, Sarah, said as she stepped into the garden. "Wow, this is beautiful!"

"Thanks." Roxy smiled. "You ready to get Harley?"

Happy nodded, he probably shouldn't have been driving but Harley's car was auto so he insisted she leave it for him during the day seeing as he couldn't ride his bike. He didn't like being stranded and even though he still spent most of his days at home with his ma he liked the reassurance that he could escape if he needed to.

Ysabel smiled and patted Happy on the back. "Go get her then. Let's get this show on the road."

The members of the club there cheered and Happy let a small smirk play on his lips as he moved to the door, stopping to press a brief kiss to Roxy's head. "Thanks for this."

"Any time Hap."

xxx xxx

"Hey Mari." Roxy greeted as Juice helped her move back outside.

Out of respect they'd all given the nurse, Tig, Venus, and Juice space while they'd moved Mari through. Juice had to carry her while the nurse brought along all the equipment as the other two organised things.

Now that she was rugged up and comfortable the rest gathered around. Roxy had Rat light all the candles, thankful it was a still evening, Juice flicked on the lights and the scene was complete. All they were waiting on now was the happy couple.

"Hello _querida._ Where is the cute baby?" She rasped slowly.

Juice carried Carlos through and smiled. "Right here Mari." He sat on the chair next to Mari and held Carlos close so she could gently stroke his hair with her frail hand.

" _Pequeño ángel_." She whispered as she stroked his hair. Secretly she was desperately sad she'd never meet her grandchildren, if there were any, but was happy she'd at least witness this tonight.

"I hear a car!" Rat called out from the side and everyone took their spots against the wall.

Juice moved closer to Roxy with Carlos and waited as they heard the roar of Harley's beefed up mustang pull into the drive.

Venus, Tig, Chibs, Jax, Tara, Quinn and Rat kept silent against the wall. Happy hadn't invited everyone from the club, only those he was closest to and trusted deeply. Quinn had only just made it but being Happy's president while he was in the Nomads Hap had wanted him there.

They heard movement inside and the rumble of Happy's voice obviously coaxing Harley to the garden.

"I should go check in with Mari-" Harley was saying but it was cut off with a gasp as she stepped out onto the deck. The back porch was further out than the wall of the house so she didn't see anyone yet, just the lights, candles, and flowers. "What is all this?" Then she turned enough to see everyone crowded against the wall and gasped again, wondering what the hell was going on. Surely this wasn't to do with Happy...

Happy didn't let her ask anything else before he pulled her forwards into the centre of the deck. He clasped both of her hands in his and stood in front of her.

"Happy wha-"

"-shh." He cut her off. "I don't have some big romantic speech or some shit... but..." he was losing a bit of steam, not entirely sure how he should continue. "I fuckin love you girl, you're it for me, my second chance at life and I don't wanna screw it up again. Look, I know it's been shit recently, and I've promised you that it's gunna be better but I want you commit that to you. You're already my Old Lady but... well, let's make this shit legal." He dropped to one knee and Harley gasped as he pulled a ring out of his pocket. "Will you marry me?"

Harley stared in stunned disbelief. She actually couldn't believe this was happening. She'd imagined this moment probably a hundred times in the hope that one day he'd do it, never really believing he would. But usually in those dreams he'd just roll over to her after some mind blowing sex and say something like ' _how about it?'_ and in hardly any of those dreams did he actually even have a ring!

Mari was clasping Roxy's hand as she watched her son drop to his knee in front of the girl she'd come to love as a daughter, Ysabel sitting on her other side, and let a tear slip at how happy she was watching them in this moment.

Harley realised after a moment that she still hadn't answered him so she sprung to life, dropping to her knees with him she clasped his face in her hands.

"Of course I will." She said softly and pushed her lips against his in a soft, yet powerful, kiss.

Naturally the Sons gathered let out racous whoops and cheers as the couple shared their kiss. But eventually they pulled back so Happy could actually give her the ring.

Harley watched as it slid down her finger, it was slightly too big but it'd be fine until she could get it resized.

"Do you like it? It was my _abuela's_." Happy asked, suddenly self conscious, a feeling he hated.

"Of course! It's beautiful Hap. Really!" She kissed him again quickly before they stood to celebrate with everyone else.

Firstly they made their way over to Mari to accept her congratulations. The others stood aside, out of respect, to allow them to share this with Mari first.

" _Mijo_ ," Mari started, "I am so proud of you." She cupped his face as he leant to kiss her cheek.

"Thanks Ma." He stood back and Harley leant down to envelop her surrogate mother in a hug.

"Thank you for this." Whispered Mari as Harley pulled back.

"Nothing to thank me for. I love him Mari, I wanted this. Now all that crap is behind us." She smiled softly as she sat on the arm of Mari's chair.

"I'm so glad I got to see him happy." She croaked as Happy finally stood back to accept the congratulations of his brothers. Now she could relax knowing he wouldn't be alone.

Harley gave her another hug before going to hug Roxy and Carlos and accept Juice's congratulations. Tig and Venus brought out some celebratory drinks and the start of the food and everyone helped themselves.

Happy pulled Harley over to stand with him against the deck railing.

"Are you happy? For real?" He asked softly.

Harley nodded against his chest. "I am. Really. This was perfect Hap. How did you come up with this?" She pulled back and raised an eyebrow at him.

Happy had a smirk dancing on his lips but he shrugged. "Guess I do have a romantic bone after all."

Harley rolled her eyes thinking of their time in the barn and her saying he didn't. "Well so it seems." She pushed forward and kissed him again, running her hands down his chest before pulling back again when she felt him push against her. "What?"

"Ma is falling asleep." He nodded over to where Mari was nodding off in the chair.

"It was a lot of excitement for her. Maybe you should take her to bed." She pushed him forward and made her way over to the group.

"Ready for bed ma?" Happy asked and Mari jumped, not realising she was dozing.

"Yes _Mijo._ " She smiled softly.

The nurse came through and helped Happy carry her and situate her in the bed. It was weird for Happy to be carrying his mother's frail frame, she weighed almost nothing as her body faded away slowly. But he was just content in knowing he was making her last time on this earth comfortable and loving.

"I'll leave you for a bit. When you're ready let me know and I'll do one last check before I go for the night." Sarah said softly before closing the door. The night nurse had stopped coming, there wasn't much they could do for her now anyway so Mari insisted they save the money. So the day nurse just dosed her up before leaving in the evenings.

"How are you feeling Ma?" Happy asked as he sat down in the chair next to the bed.

"Happy."

"Yeah?"

"No. I am happy."

"Oh, right." He smiled sheepishly. "I'm glad."

"You've done well. I'm glad I got to see this. Thank you." She croaked.

"Still got the wedding to go, ma. Don't start with the goodbye shit."

Mari sighed, though it was a simple puff of breath given the state of her breathing. "I won't be around for that. But you'll have a good day."

Happy shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Stop talking like that. It'll be good."

Mari smiled again as she closed her twinkling eyes. "I know it will be. I'll be there in spirit, _siempre_." Her breathing slowed as she drifted to sleep. "Love you _Mijo._ "

"Love you too ma. Get some rest." Happy remained seated alongside her, stroking her hand softly with his thumb.

xxx xxx

"Happy still with his ma?" Roxy asked as Harley finally settled on the deck chair next to her. She'd been working the room and chatting with their guests but Happy had been gone a while now.

"Yeah. I'll go see him in a few." But she didn't need to. Happy stepped onto the deck and made a beeline for her. "How is she?"

"Sleeping." He answered as he pulled her up so he could sit and settle her on his lap.

"Good. She must be exhausted." She kissed his cheek and curled her arm around his neck to settle in. "Still can't believe you did all this." She gestured to the lights and the decorations, despite the cold everyone had stayed outside by the little fires.

"Wanted to prove myself to you."

"You didn't have to." She smiled and pecked his lips.

"Good coz... well, I had a bit of help." He chuckled.

"I figured." Harley shared a look with Roxy and laughed.

Eventually Juice made his way over to the group. Carlos had been passed around for cuddles and was very much asleep.

"We should probably head off." He said lowly. Roxy nodded and Juice passed Carlos over to her. "I'll go put everything in the car."

Roxy snuggled with Carlos, vaguely aware of Harley and Happy sucking face on the seat next to her, but she simply smirked, glad they were both so happy. Eventually Juice came back and asked Harley to carry Carlos so he could help Roxy to the car.

Harley stayed just behind them as Hap followed to see them off.

"So I take it by you proposing that you're up for the wife and kids idea?" She quirked an eyebrow at Happy and smirked at his surprise. He'd been watching Carlos as Harley carried him and snapped his eyes up to hers.

They were stopped at the front door as Juice and Roxy walked down to the car.

"One thing at a time babe. Jeez."

Harley simply laughed and they were caught out of their moment by Roxy hollering.

"You can practice looking after a baby with Carlos, but I will want him back!" She cackled down at the car.

"I should go give him back." Harley smiled and motioned to Juice and Roxy.

Happy pulled her back gently to his front, rubbing ever so slightly against her. "Yeah, because me n you, girl, we got some practicing to do... and we don't need an audience." He rasped in her ear.

xxx xxx

Harley was up bright and early the next morning to make breakfast. Venus and Tara had cleaned up the kitchen after everyone else left and the guys had put most of the decorations in the garage, just leaving up the fairy lights because Harley liked them.

Ysabel and Happy's cousins had gone back to their hotel so they mostly had the house to themselves, and they'd made the most of their time together. Though Mari being in the other room kept them quiet.

Harley finished with the bacon and eggs and set them on the table just in time for Happy to appear from the bedroom in his sweatpants. They ate quietly, just enjoying each other's company before deciding they should go sit with Mari. Sarah would be there in an hour so it gave them some time to sit with her without interruption.

Happy settled on the chair and pulled Harley onto his lap. She stroked his chest softly with her fingers as they listened to Mari's soft breaths.

"Did you really mean what you said last night?" She asked softly.

"About wanting to try for a kid?" He rasped in response. Harley nodded and gave him a quick kiss on his stubbly head. "Yeah. Don't see the point in waiting much longer. I want it all with you, girl."

"Guess I better make an appointment to have my IUD removed then." Happy just looked at her blankly. "That thing with the little strings you can feel." He'd been quite worried when he'd been fingering her one time and noticed it. She'd had a laughing fit trying to explain it and Happy was not impressed. She'd been on the pill for ages but when things were getting serious with Happy she decided on the IUD so she didn't have to worry about the pills. Back when she was convinced he didn't want kids. "Should be able to start trying right away."

"Huh. Sounds good to me." He slid a hand up her bare leg, only stopping when he got to the flimsy cotton of her shorts.

Harley smacked at his hand. "Not here Hap." She giggled.

Happy remembered where they were and quickly removed his hand like he'd been burned. He couldn't help it, Harley drove him wild most of the time.

They cuddled for a while longer, happy in just sitting spending time with Mari. They were eventually interrupted by Sarah arriving and knocking on the door. Harley got up to let her in, smiling as Sarah bustled into the house.

"How is she?" Sarah asked as she brought her medical bag through.

"Hasn't woken up since last night." Harley spoke softly as they entered the room.

Sarah nodded and began checking Mari's vitals. "That'll happen. Her waking moments will be fewer and farther between and her dependency on oxygen will decline as her breathing does." She was happy with her checks and turned to talk to the couple. "We have discussed her wishes but are you happy for me to continue with that plan?"

Happy sighed and nodded before looking back at his ma. She didn't want to be put on life support, she just wanted to slip away.

"Ok. I know it's rough, but she had wanted to stay here and avoid hospital. It's just hospice care from here on. All I will be doing is ensuring she is comfortable and I'll manage her pain. She doesn't want the feeding tube so I think from here it'll be a matter of a day or so. I'm really sorry."

Happy cleared his throat. They'd been through this yesterday morning when she'd rejected the feeding tube, too weak to eat on her own.

"I can give you some time." Sarah moved to leave the room but Happy cut her off.

"Nah, I'm going outside for a bit." He nudged Harley off her perch on his lap and she let him go.

"How's he doing?" Sarah enquired.

Harley shrugged. "Don't think he wants to accept it's happening."

"This is the hard part. Don't get me wrong, I love my job, I like knowing I've helped to make a patient comfortable and feel like they're cared for. But I wish I could take away the family's pain as easy as I can the patient's."

Harley smiled softly and squeezed Mari's hand. "I think it'll take a lot more than morphine to get Happy through this... though if you could leave some oxy behind I'm sure it'll help." She joked while biting back her tears.

xxx xxx

Hours passed and people came and went. Ysabel and the kids had arrived that morning and spent their time in and out of Mari's room, taking turns with Happy. Venus and Tig had dropped by to see how things were and Juice brought Roxy and Carlos round too.

If Happy wasn't sitting with his Ma he was outside smoking a joint on the deck. Juice joined him for a while, offering to roll some of the new stuff he'd gotten from the weed shop. Happy appreciated the thought and liked that Juice was smart enough to not engage him in conversation.

A few years ago Happy would have never seen Juice as being the brother to offer comfort during this time, but now he couldn't think of anyone better. They'd grown closer through their time in Stockton and their Old Ladies and Happy had a new appreciation for the once goofy techie from Queens.

Just as the temperature dropped and dusk started setting in Harley came out to the deck and motioned for Juice to head inside. He squeezed Hap's shoulder briefly and left the couple to it.

Harley made her way over and dropped down beside Happy, taking a toke of the offered joint. But before Happy could pull her in to get comfortable she stopped him.

"Sarah thinks it's time Hap. You should come in." She said softly, squeezing his good hand.

Happy shook his head. "It can't be. She said a few days."

"I know baby, but she's not woken up since last night and Sarah says her breathing has slowed right down. It's time."

Happy swallowed back the lump in his throat and nodded, graciously accepting Harley's hand as she led him through into the bedroom, passing by his gathered brothers on the way. Not turning to look at them as he could feel the tears welled up in his eyes.

He stopped at the threshold to her room and knew instantly that Sarah was right. If he didn't see the slow and intermittent pulsing on the heart monitor he would have thought she'd already gone. Ysabel and the kids were gathered on one side of the bed and Harley stepped over to the other but Happy stayed put.

Ysabel caught her nephew's expression and knew he probably needed some time alone. She stood slowly and ushered the kids to give their aunt a final kiss, which they did cautiously and with tears.

"We'll leave you to it." She said softly. Dropping a final kiss on her sister's cheek. " _Hasta que nos volvamos a ver hermana_." She whispered tearily.

They bustled past Happy with Sarah in tow and Happy moved closer to the bed. Harley bent down and said her goodbyes, giving Mari a final hug and kiss, thanking her for being her surrogate mother and for giving her Happy.

When she turned Happy was sitting on the edge of the bed. She turned to face him, standing between his legs.

She cupped his face in her hands and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "I'll wait out there for you, unless you want me to stay?" She said softly.

"It's ok." He bit out, still waiting for the lump in his throat to crack and the tears to burst forward.

Harley nodded and with a final kiss left the room, clicking the door shut softly behind her.

Happy turned to face his ma and took her soft hand in his. Stroking the papery skin with his calloused thumb.

"I wish I'd been a better son. There was so much shit I put you through and I know you've told me before you didn't care but I still wish I'd been different." He chocked out. "You've always been there for me. Done everything you could for me. And I just wish you'd be around to see all the good I'm gunna do. I'm gunna treat Harley right. Gunna give her the wedding she deserves, the kids she deserves. And... I'm gunna be a better father and husband than my dad. I'm gunna make you proud ma." He felt the hot sting of the tears as they finally broke forth and dropped down his cheeks. "It's ok ma. I got you." He whispered as he saw the beats on the heart monitor slow almost completely. He bent over and kissed her cheek before sitting back up and just holding her hand until they stopped completely.

His ma was gone.

Happy took a few moments to compose himself. When he was sure he could hold it together long enough he placed her hand back on the blanket and kissed her cheek one last time. He stood from the bed and made his way to the door, not turning back, he didn't want to see her like that again.

Taking in a deep breath he opened the door to the hall and could hear the soft murmurings of the people in the living room.

He could feel the anguish curling in his chest, not wanting to be around anyone else he swiftly made his way to the front door, he grabbed his gun, wallet, and the car keys as everyone stopped talking. Harley ran up to him as he opened the door, tears in her eyes.

"Hap?" She squeaked as Sarah moved to go to the bedroom.

"She's gone." Was all he said before shrugging out of her grasp and out the door to the car.

Harley let out a sob as she watched him rev the car and back out of the driveway before peeling off down the street.

 **xxx xxx**

 **A/N: I legit cried writing this last bit lol so sad :(**


	142. Chapter 142

**A/N: omg it's so very almost done!!!**

 **And I'm up to chapter 5 of my Happy story. It won't be nearly as long as this. And I'm still looking for plot ideas to a degree. So if there's something you'd like to see PM me. It's called _In My Dreams_ so keep an eye out, though I'll let you know on here when I post it. Probably with the last chapter of _Lion's Den_. **

**Anyways thank you all once again for the reviews, it means a lot and I'm so happy you're enjoying it and are invested in it so much. It makes me really happy that people are enjoying my writing, so thank you.**

 **And as always read, review, and enjoy!!!**

 **xxx xxx**

Harley shut the door behind Happy and let out a small sob, she looked towards the guests gathered in the living room, and the Sons had already jumped to action.

Juice, Tig, and Chibs ran to door, ready to jump on their bikes, Chibs pausing by Harley at the door.

"We'll keep an eye on him lass, I promise you this time." He squeezed her arm in comfort and quickly took off after the others.

Ysabel stood and pulled Harley over to the sofa while Venus went and got some drinks, knowing it was likely they'd be needing something strong.

"Where is he going?" Happy's niece asked.

"I don't know." Harley said quietly as she accepted the vodka from Venus.

"He'll be ok. Probably just gone for a drive." Roxy comforted, hoping like hell she was right and that the boys caught up to him in time.

xxx xxx

Thanks to the few second delay the guys didn't really know which way Hap had gone so they split up to find him. Juice found himself weaving through traffic down Main Street after searching a few other streets, keeping an eye out for Harley's car. He spotted it parked haphazardly in front of the Hairy Dog and sighed in relief. It was very obviously Harley's car with the personalise plates 'PRN QUEEN' and the pink decals on the back window. Happy sure loved riding that thing around...

Juice pulled in and parked behind the car and shot a text off to the others before heading in to the bar. The Sons had a relatively tense relationship with the owners given that it used to be the Nords' favourite hangout. So Juice was slightly wary at going in.

Being a Saturday it was fairly busy but it only took Juice a second to spot Happy alone at the far end of the bar. He had a bottle of whisky in front of him and though he was only maybe 10 minutes ahead of Juice he'd already downed a considerable amount from the bottle.

Juice sighed and made his way over to the bar, sitting down next to Happy.

"I'm not going home, brother. Not right now."

"Don't you think Harley would want to be with you right now?" Juice asked, stealing the bottle for a swig to himself.

"Probably. But I can't be there when they take her." Happy sure as hell didn't trust himself to watch his Ma being wheeled off by strangers.

"Ok. How about I have Roxy message me when that's taken care of and then we go back?"

Happy just shrugged so Juice took it as a yes and shot Roxy a message. They sat in silence for a few more minutes. Happy had finished crying in the car and he was done now, all that was left was a depressing ache and he was slowly numbing that with the whisky.

Juice eventually pulled out a joint. He figured no one would give a shit in here and he had a card so anyone questioning it could suck it. He offered Happy the joint, which he gladly accepted, and shared it between them. Chibs and Tig joined them at some point but no one said anything. They'd half expected Happy to be out looking for a fight or something to blow off steam, but Happy didn't want that. He'd promised his Ma he'd make her proud and he was going to do just that.

After a while Chibs and Tig figured Juice had it under control and left, arranging for Rat to come pick up his bike seeing as he'd definitely be driving Happy home.

 _That's everything done. You can bring him home. It's just Harley here. - R_

"Ready to head back brother?" Juice asked softly.

"Don't do that." He grunted.

"Do what?" Juice raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Talk to me like that." Happy swigged from the bottle again.

"Like what? Dude?"

"Like I'm a fuckin kid!" He slammed a hand on the bar.

Juice sighed and nodded. "I'm sorry. Look, let me just take you home and I'll take Roxy so you guys can have peace."

Happy nodded. "Sorry."

"It's ok bro. It's been a rough few days. C'mon." Juice slapped some money on the bar and nudged Happy who finally stood from his seat.

Moving out to the car, Happy felt like his feet were wading through mud. The last thing he wanted to do was go back to the place where his ma died. But it was his home and Harley needed to be with him. Being drunk probably didn't help either.

Juice's bike had been picked up already so they left in Harley's car and took the long way back round to the house. When they pulled up in the drive the only car there was Roxy's. Tara had driven Roxy round earlier in the day. Juice pulled up alongside it and killed the engine.

"You good?" Juice asked.

Happy looked up to the house and nodded ever so slightly. "Yeah. Thanks brother."

"Any time. Just let me know if you need anything." Juice offered. "I'll just get Roxy and Carlos and we'll leave you to it."

Happy nodded again and let himself out the car. Juice followed him up to the house and stopped when Happy came to a halt in front of the door. They didn't have to wait long though because Harley opened the door within seconds, probably knowing Hap wouldn't want to come in.

When she opened the door you could tell she had been crying but she was fairly together having had time to calm down. She pulled Happy in and gave him a quick kiss.

"Thanks for coming home." She said softly in his ear.

To Happy, those words meant more than anything else he'd ever heard. He grasped the back of her shirt and buried his head in her neck.

Juice slipped past them and helped Roxy stand then gathered their bags and picked up Carlos. They walked over to the pair, who were still intertwined, by the door and said a quick goodbye as they slipped out.

When they heard the car start up Harley pulled back from Happy slightly and cupped his face. "Need something to eat? Soak up the alcohol?"

He shook his head. "Nah, I just wanna lie down."

Harley nodded, locked the door, took his hand in hers and pulled him through to the bedroom. She shut the door behind them and started pulling off Happy's shirt.

Happy stood silently as she undressed him, watching her face as she did and smiling softly. She led him to the bed and, already in her own pyjamas, slid into bed and curled next to him, wrapping her legs in his and resting her head on his chest.

His ma was right, this is the life he needed.

xxx xxx

"It's awful seeing Happy like that. He's usually so... well not emotional. I mean even when we were stuck in that god awful barn he wasn't upset, or worried, or panicked. It's unnerving really." She shuddered remembering the cool, focused, and dangerous look on Happy's face.

"It's what makes him so good to stand with in a time of trouble." Juice slid into bed next to Roxy. "But this has been coming a long time. Hell I thought it'd happen while we were in Stockton and we'd all die in there going down with Happy when he snapped. But it's happened now and he has Harley and she's got him covered."

Roxy curled herself into him as best she could and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'm so glad I have you Juan."

Juice smiled down at her. "I'm glad I have you too."

Roxy leaned up on her elbow so she could face him, tracing her fingers slightly along his chest. "No seriously. You have been so amazing, I don't think you realise how good you really are to me." She pushed her lips against his in a hard kiss. They'd tried their best to keep their distance since the whole barn saga, Roxy wasn't fit enough to do too much and didn't want to start down a road she couldn't finish. But right now she just wanted to be close, the last few weeks had been tumultuous and after what happened with the Iron Devils and everything with Happy's mom being so emotional she just wanted to be close.

Juice moaned into the kiss as he tangled his hand in her hair. Roxy ran her hand down to his track pants and slowly rubbed over the hardening bulge forming under her palm.

"I miss you." She breathed against his neck. It had been six weeks since Carlos' birth and they should have been able to be together again but thanks to everything that happened they couldn't be for another few weeks. They'd had some intimate moments in the first weeks after his birth but then nothing again since the barn.

"Oh you know I've missed you. So fuckin much." Juice nipped her collarbone and moved his hips slightly under her ministrations.

Roxy danced her fingers along the waistband of his pants and Juice could feel the goosebumps erupt along his skin before she finally slid her hand under. He gasped when she wrapped her fingers around him and slowly moved her hand up and down.

Juice quickly hooked his fingers in his pants and pulled them down over her hand and he loved the sight that awaited him. He just fucking loved Roxy's little hand working him over.

"God damn. Should we be doing this?" He moaned.

"Don't see why not. The best I can offer for a while and I really want you." She whispered huskily.

Juice thrust up into her hand. "I really can't wait."

"Mmmm good." Roxy moaned against his neck and kissed against his neck. "Me either. But right now I want this."

Roxy continued and Juice loved it, he couldn't help but squirm underneath her, she took the hint and went faster, continuing to whisper dirty shit in his ear and before long he let go with an almighty groan. It wasn't the same as sex but the fact it was Roxy showing him the attention rather than his own hand it felt good. Plus being close to her like this was much needed and he could tell Roxy was a bit emotional and needed to feel a physical reminder of their connection.

Roxy rolled off him and relaxed, she'd started to cramp up and now she was feel slightly frustrated, it was great being with him like this but it wasn't really the same. Juice quickly cleaned himself up and returned back to the bedroom.

Roxy was laid back on the bed, her pyjama pants were riding low and her tank top had pulled up some. He could see the healing scar on her lower belly and smiled. The reminder of everything she'd been through to give him a son.

Roxy was breathing slightly heavy and he could tell from the flush in her cheeks she was very turned on. He smirked and crawled onto the bed. He hovered over the length of her body and kissed up her neck, caressing her breast as he did. Roxy moaned in response and kissed him back with fervour.

When he started moving down her body she knew his destination but for once didn't feel herself clamming up. Juice was good at oral sex, there was no doubt about it. He was a generous lover and he was far more adventurous than she was but she couldn't help but feel self conscious when he went down on her and as a result she didn't let him do it often. Usually only when she was drunk.

But things had changed since having Carlos. She'd kind of lost those reservations. She had always known Juice loved her entirely but she figured when you have a baby you kind of lose your dignity, not in a bad way, but after everything that happens in the birthing process you kinda don't really care who sees you naked or vulnerable any more. It was freeing for Roxy and when Juice sensed no hesitation he continued on his path down her body, moving her pyjama bottoms down and off her ankles.

As he kissed up her thigh Roxy could feel the anticipation building, she knew it would feel good and that Juice would definitely take care of her. So when she felt his tongue against her she threw her head back and got lost in the moment.

xxx xxx

"How you doin?" Harley had woken up in the early hours to an empty bed. They hadn't talked much in bed, just lay and cuddled. So when she woke up she realised she must have drifted off and Happy hadn't.

Happy was out on the deck, just looking out into the dark garden. He jumped when he heard Harley's voice beside him but relaxed as she settled against his side.

"Couldn't sleep."

"Didn't think you would." She wrapped his arm through hers so she could hold his hand. He wasn't usually one for hand holding, it wasn't really macho enough, so he usually either held her waist or put his hand on her thigh. But tonight he liked it. "Been a crazy couple days. But I'm glad Mari was there when you proposed. To be honest I think that's what she'd been waiting for. Wanted to make sure you'd be happy."

Happy squeezed her hand. "Yeah. Think she wanted to make sure we were solid first. I'm glad I got to share it with her."

Harley hummed in response and stroked her hand up his arm. "Gosh Hap, you're frozen. You need to come inside." She stood and pulled him up. "C'mon just lie in bed with me some more. Maybe if we share a joint you can sleep some."

Happy nodded and let her fuss over him. To be honest he liked it. He thought maybe it would be suffocating but his ma was right, it helped to have someone take care of you. He just hoped she had felt that same peace with him looking after her.

xxx xxx

The next day was a flurry of funeral planning. Happy kept out of it for the most part. He trusted his aunt, and his ma had spoken with great lengths to her about what she had wanted. So he was happy to leave it to the women to organise.

Harley kept busy helping Ysabel and Tara and Jax took Happy's niece and nephew out with Abel and Thomas to the park so they could have some peace. The kids were particularly upset given that they'd lived with Mari for so long. She'd been kind of like a grandma to them so Happy knew they were pretty devastated. But they were good kids and were making it easy on their ma.

"Dubrowski's is good for tomorrow Happy. Is that ok?" Harley asked, snapping him from his thoughts.

"Yeah, it's fine. Just us goin so we don't need to wait around."

"And you're happy for her to be buried in Charming?" His aunt asked.

"If you are. We ain't leaving here and Harley's parents are there so we'll visit."

"I'm happy if you are _mijo._ I'll be back and forth to see you anyway." She smiled before turning back to the little pamphlets with Harley.

Once they were happy with the selection of services Ysabel called Dubrowskis and set it up. Harley plopped down on the sofa next to Happy and passed him a coffee.

He sipped it in silence for a bit before deciding he needed out for a bit. "I'm gunna go to the clubhouse for a bit." He stated as he stood up.

"Oh." Harley looked slightly worried. She wondered if he'd stay around and guessed she was lucky he'd been home this long.

"I just wanna let the guys know about tomorrow. They'll probably wanna be there." He assured her.

"Yeah, ok. Just come home at a reasonable time, yeah?" Harley asked as she stood to follow him to the door.

Happy shrugged his kutte on and grabbed his stuff. "Course." He pulled her in for a hug. "As long as I got you to come home to I'll be home."

Harley pulled him down for a quick kiss. "I'll always be here." She patted his shoulder and let him go.

xxx xxx

Happy _hated_ driving Harley's car. It was only now that he was appreciating how ridiculous it was with the pink decals and the personalised plates. In the past it didn't matter that it was clearly a bitch's car because he wasn't the one driving it.

He pulled into the lot and shut off the lowly rumbling engine. He eyed the line of bikes and couldn't wait until he could ride again. Looking down at his once mangled fingers he tried to ball them into a fist, cursing the Devils once again. _Pieces of shit_.

Happy made his way into the clubhouse to be greeted by most of his brothers. He was surprised that they'd all be around, but figured they probably had nothing much else to do with club shit being quiet. That's the thing about being in the club, there were so many times that there was so much shit happening it was nigh on impossible to have a life outside the club, not that many of them wanted it, but when the club was quiet they found themselves with nothing to do.

"Happy, brother. How are things?" Chibs was the first to greet him and pull him over to the group, signaling for the crow eater to bring them some more drinks.

"Funeral is planned for tomorrow." Happy offered.

"Aye. Well we'll all be there. Some of SAMTAC said they'd be down so I'll let em know to leave." Chibs broke off and took out his cell phone.

Happy found himself being pleased with that. Those men had been his family for a long time and were sad to see him leave when shit with Mari went south. It would be nice to have them around. He found himself not resisting the brotherhood. Initially he'd been pissed with their sympathy back when she'd had the bad turn while they were on the run. But then he realised that this was part of the MC. The part he'd loved was the brotherhood and he needed to accept it in his time of need too.

Juice walked in not long after they'd sat down for drinks and pulled up a seat at the table.

"What's got you so chipper Juicy Boy?" Tig asked, it had been a while since they'd seen him wearing the goofy grin he usually had plastered on his face.

"Nothin." He accepted a drink from a relaxed Happy.

"Didya get some? That why you're so happy?" Tig winked.

"Dude, isn't Roxy basically like your daughter?" Rat frowned, Tig was a fuckin weirdo.

Tig just shrugged. "Can't I just be happy a brother is getting some?"

"Dude..." Rat rolled his eyes while Chibs, Jax, TO, Quinn, Montez, and Juice laughed.

And with that the guys were happy and joking once again, even Happy joining in. It had been a long time since they'd been carefree like this, but after everything the last year had thrown at them it was time they enjoyed themselves.

xxx xxx

Mari's funeral was lovely, not only had SAMTAC rode in but brothers from Indian Hills, Rogue River, SAMDINO, and some others had made the trek to be there. That's what they did for family after all and Happy had been welcome at all their clubhouses over the last few years while he did jobs for them. So now they came to him in his time of need and showed up to support him.

Happy appreciated that and he knew his ma would too. The Sons had been there for him in ways she never could have been. He didn't have a father to guide him into becoming a man and so she had made mistakes along the way. Happy made plenty too and when he and Ariana made that break to Tacoma his ma had prayed he'd find himself there. And he did, sadly he lost Ariana in the process. But the Sons were there to give him purpose and pick him up again.

Then the Sons gave him Harley and another shot at love, another shot at life. And now they were here to support him and help him find himself again.

The wake at the clubhouse was rowdy, the Sons using it as a chance to party more than anything, but Happy didn't mind. However he was getting too crowded inside the club so he went outside to find some air. He glanced at the ring, two brothers from SAMDINO throwing down, and wished more than anything he could go in. But his hand was still in the splint. He knew he could have gone in and just used his other hand, he was right handed after all, but he knew he'd forget and try throwing a left and either break his bones again or break his opponent's face on the cast. Probably not worth it.

He waded through the crowd and eventually found himself leaning against TM. He pulled out a joint and smoked it while he watched the comings and goings around the clubhouse. Eventually Juice stumbled over and joined him against the wall, though Juice clearly needed it for support more than Happy did.

"Hey brother." Juice greeted.

"Hey, why you here so late?" Happy asked.

"Roxy insisted. Tara went back to ours with the boys for a sleepover so me n Jax could stay."

Happy nodded. "And you're enjoying yourself?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Hell yeah!" He laughed, then he realised why they were there. "Oh, shit. I mean... I know we're here for a shit reason, but I dunno man... kinda reminds me of what the club was like when I first joined. Parties like this ya'know?"

"It's all good brother. I'm having a good time too." He took a toke of the joint and passed it to Juice. "I know what you mean. This is the Charming I remember when I was a Nomad. Work hard, play hard. But after Stockton it was just work hard. I think we've come good."

"Me too. Glad I'm around to see it." Juice confessed.

Happy remembered his own reaction to Jax's accusations of ratting. He'd been pissed off and would have done whatever Jax asked him to do to dispose of Juice. He'd killed brothers before for similar offences. But knowing now what had actually happened and why he'd done it Happy questioned whether he'd have been able to resist the Fed's deal now he had Harley to worry about.

"I'm happy shit worked out the way it did, brother. Maybe some of it could have been different but without it all we wouldn't be where we are now, man."

Juice turned to him with wide eyes. "How much of this shit did you smoke?" He joked.

Happy just nudged him and when Harley started making her way over to TM Juice decided to take his leave.

"What was that all about?" Harley asked as they watched Juice stumble his way back to the party.

"Nothin." Happy wrapped his arm round her shoulder and pulled her close. "Just drunk talk."

"You're drunk?" She eyed him, she didn't think he was. He had promised to lay off the booze after the 'incident' but she'd cut him some slack, for tonight only.

"Nah. But he is." Happy threw the dead joint away and turned to box Harley in against the wall. "Now, how are you doing?"

Harley smirked up at him and trailed her fingertips from his collarbone to his belt buckle. "I'm just peachy." Happy bent forward and nipped at her neck. "But I wanted to tell you something." She pushed him back slightly.

"Go on." He rasped, while gliding his gaze down toward her cleavage.

"I booked in tomorrow to have my IUD removed."

Happy snapped his gaze to hers. "What's that mean?"

"Means we can start trying from tomorrow night." She said excitedly.

"Huh." He looked along the wall.

"What? Happy?" She wondered if he was maybe having cold feet.

"Nothin, just thinkin... we should maybe get in some practice tonight..." he looked to her eyes hungrily, "y'know. Just to be sure."

Harley hooked her fingers into his belt loops and pulled his body flush with hers and he pushed her harder into the wall. "Let's get practicing then, big boy."

xxx xxx

The rest of the 'wake' had gone well. TO dropped Jax and Juice home some time after 3am, and somehow Juice managed to make it through to the bedroom without waking up any of the kids. He thought later that maybe he should have stayed with Jax at his house seeing as Tara and the kids were here, but then decided against it. They got along better these days but it still would have been awkward.

Roxy laughed when he eventually found his way into the kitchen around noon, he was clearly in a world of hurt.

"You shoulda woke me Roxy. You shouldn't be on your feet so much." He grumbled as he sat down. "Where's Carlos?" He looked around.

"Tara took him back with her. And I didn't wake you because you _really_ needed to sleep that off, you smelled like a distillery."

Juice smiled as she sat some bacon and toast in front of him, having been keeping the bacon warm in the oven.

"Nah, I'd have been fine." He sighed, content with the food and glad they'd have a quiet house for the day, as much as he loved Carlos he wasn't sure he was in any condition yet to carry him or anything responsible like that. "Kinda glad Carlos is out for the day. I'm hungover as fuck."

Roxy eyed him, wondering if Now was really the best time to drop her bombshell, but she'd been up worrying about it all night. With everything that had happened recently it was playing on her mind more and more and now was the time.

"I hope you're not too hungover to talk?" She asked softly and Juice looked up from his food to survey her anxious expression.

"Of course not. What's up?" He put down his knife and fork.

Roxy sat on the opposite side of the kitchen table and stared down at her fingers. "Well, I've been thinking about this for a short while now, and with everything that happened with the Devils and now Happy's ma... well... I just think it's time... I want to find Gemma, I want to talk to her."


	143. Chapter 143

**A/N: so this is it! A more comprehensive author's note at the bottom explaining the epilogues and my new Happy/OC fic too.**

 **But for now, enjoy the final ride and thanks for all the support!!!**

 **xxx xxx**

Juice had tried to talk Roxy out of the Gemma idea but she wouldn't leave it. In the end she agreed to wait for a month and if she still wanted to go chase up Gemma in a month then he'd bring it to the club. That month was up today and he knew the answer to his question before he even asked it.

She most absolutely did want to talk to Gemma. The month since Happy's mother's passing had been slow. Not much was happening with the club. Now the Iron Devils MC was taken care of the club could refocus on Diosa and RedWoody. The Iron Devils did have charters over east but after some negotiations they had dropped the beef. Apparently the president here had been acting out of turn and had fucked up several deals and relationships anyway. Plus the Sons of Anarchy were bigger than them and could crush their eastern states charters at a moment's notice.

So while it was slow in Charming and all Roxy had to do was recover, go to physio, and watch Carlos she stewed. She stewed over all the reasons she shouldn't want to see her ma again. But it all came down to one thing. Did she want to hold a grudge that could impact her life like this? She'd always be questioning everything and it'd probably impact on her relationship with Carlos in some way. No she needed this. So as soon as her doctor's appointment was done she was meeting Juice at the clubhouse and going to sort this once and for all.

Juice had offered to come with her, get Rat to cover his guard shift at Diosa but she insisted she'd be fine. The last appointment had gone well and she was sure today she would get the all clear. She'd done everything they told her to in terms of recovery so she was praying for a miracle.

"Hey Roxy, how are you doing?" Dr. Warner greeted her warmly as usual.

"Good I think." She smiled and hopped onto the seat that the doctor gestured to.

"You know the drill. Quick ultrasound but after what I saw last time I think I'll be happy with the results."

Roxy relaxed and let Dr. Warner do her thing and wished for the best. Her main concern was always going to be her chances of conceiving again, but in the short term she just really wanted to be _with_ her husband. It had been too long for both of them and it would go a long way in helping them feel that connection once more.

Dr. Warner saved a couple of images from the scan for future reference, as she did every time but this time she smiled at Roxy as she turned off the screen.

"Well I don't see any reason why you can't go back to your usual activities. Still be careful with carrying heavy items and don't go mad. But the internal incision has healed up nicely, everything looks good."

Roxy breathed a sigh of relief. "That is good news." She paused for a moment before deciding to rip off the bandaid. "You'd said last time we'd talk more about the possibility of conceiving again naturally?"

Dr. Warner looked back to the screen and flicked up one of the newest images. "It looks like the incision has healed nicely, despite the extra trauma. It's thin, clean, and neat. It's actually far away from the site of the scarring from the placental abruption you had with the first pregnancy so that's good. So I'm thinking to be conservative with my hopes, but you carried Carlos so I think you'd have success again. It just might take a while. I do suggest not to attempt any further pregnancies for at least two years. So I would like to prescribe you a form of contraception today if that's ok with you?"

Roxy sighed in relief again, that was good news. And she was more than happy to wait to try for another. It let the drama of Carlos' pregnancy wear off first. That had been a hellish pregnancy and not something she wanted to try again any time soon. So she settled for an IUD seeing as Dr. Warner could fit one right then and there and would be effective almost immediately. She didn't think Juice could wait any longer and neither could she.

xxx xxx

With it being a Friday there was a party planned for the night so when Roxy finally arrived at the clubhouse to gatecrash their meeting it was already busy.

Roxy sighed and made her way into the bar area, spotting Juice immediately she headed straight to him. After he engulfed her in a hug she pulled back to smile.

"Everything ok?" He asked lowly, seeing as Rat was on the next stool along from him.

"Everything's perfect, Juan." She winked and Juice broke into a massive grin.

"We are outta here the second church is over. You hear me?" He practically growled.

Roxy pulled back, deciding to tease him a bit. "I think I'd rather wait... till after the party." She laughed at the dark look on his face.

"You're killing me here." He groaned.

"Come on, it'll be great. Tara offered to watch Carlos, we can have a night out together then end in bed together. It'll be romantic, well as romantic as a clubhouse party can get."

Juice mumbled something under his breath but then the baby monitor flashed from its spot beside him and the screen lit up with Carlos' movement. Juice had got a wireless video monitor and loved it. He, of course, had all the fancy settings so the motion sensor was an exciting addition for him. Juice almost jumped at the chance to go grab Carlos. Roxy had dropped him off here before her appointment to be babysat by Tig, under the watchful eye of Venus. Juice had only just arrived back from Diosa, having been gone since the early morning, so he was desperate to see his son.

Roxy pushed him towards the dorm area where Carlos was sleeping and turned to thank Venus and Tig. Just as Juice brought a hungry Carlos through to the club room Chibs arrived and called them in for church.

Juice sadly handed Carlos over to Roxy for a feed, kind of hoping he'd have had the chance to do it himself. Roxy watched him walk into the Chapel while holding Carlos close. Juice had been an amazing father these last 9 weeks. He'd done so much for her and supported her through everything and in return he had a really special bond with his son. Despite everything, Roxy was glad that was a positive outcome of the mess Carlos endured during his first few weeks on this earth.

By the time she'd fed and burped Carlos she could hear the tell tale signs of her brother's temper echo through the heavy redwood doors. She knew it'd only be a matter of moments before she was summoned to explain so she passed her little son back off to Venus.

"Rox? Can you come explain please?" Juice pleaded from the door. He'd caught the brunt of Jax's fury for 'not shutting her shit down' as Jax had put it.

Roxy slowly made her way into the room and surveyed the faces in front of her as Juice closed the doors behind her. Once upon a time she would have been intimidated being in this room, during a meeting, while members of the club awaited her speech. But now it was different. She was different. Roxy had been through so much because of, and for, the club so she lost that fear. This new found confidence, along with the fact that she knew they owed her, powered her thoughts.

"So we hear ya wanna seek out Gemma?" Chibs asked calmly. He'd been a good choice for President she thought. Cool, calm, and collected. Everything Jax wasn't. Sure he'd had issues with Juice but she could look past that, now things had healed.

"Yes. I do." Roxy said softly. No use getting wound up.

"You understand with her being excommunicated that this needs to be a unanimous decision? She was a threat to the club, we need to be sure that won't happen again." Chibs eyed Roxy's composure, glad she wasn't buying in to Jax's rage.

"Yes, I'm well aware of the threat she posed to this club." She reminded the table, she damn well copped the brunt of it because of these assholes.

Chibs sucked a breath in before answering, knowing better than to rise to her aggression, she was entitled to it. "Which is why we're confused you want to see her. But we're all ears so plead your case." He gestured to the table.

Roxy glanced briefly at her half brother, if looks could kill she'd be dead three times over, she quickly looked away to Juice and took a deep breath. "Some of you will remember my childhood round here. I don't think it was ever truly happy. I suppose not many of us did have happy childhoods but hey, shit happens. Clay was never really a father, he farmed most of those duties of to Tig. He hated that I wasn't a son, in every sense of the word. And then Gemma, she always resented me for not being a boy, she was always busy, wanting me to be a certain way, change what I was doing. But I know she loved me deep down. Then everything went down and you guys killed Clay, not that he didn't deserve it-" she added at their protesting murmurs- "but then ran Gemma out of town too. And I _know_ why she had to leave. More than any man in this room I know. But still, it's like unresolved tension always in my mind. Now I'm a mom I need to tie this shit up. It's not healthy. I _need_ to resolve things with her, for better or worse, otherwise I don't think I'm ever going to be a good mom." In Roxy's mind she needed to clean this up with Gemma, so she could solidify in her mind what type of parent she wanted to be. "I think, after everything I've been through for this club, that I've earned this favour. You took my dad, my mom, at one point my freedom and my soul mate, men I've known for my whole life as family turned against me when I needed them most. So I'm asking now that you don't do it a second time." She held everyone's gaze in turn before locking eyes with Jackson. She knew this had to be unanimous but she hoped he'd see it from her point of view.

"Ok. Let us have a moment." Chibs gestured for the door.

Roxy gave Juice a quick smile then obliged Chibs and left them to it.

Lyla was hanging at the bar, probably waiting for Quinn, so she walked over to join her and Venus, who was cuddling Carlos. But before she could even take a sip of her coke the doors opened and she was beckoned back over.

 _That was quick. Doesn't bode well._

Roxy entered again and remained at the door, she didn't trust herself or her temper if the answer turned out to be no.

"So, we've come to a decision with a few caveats." Chibs said.

Roxy was surprised. _Sounds promising._ "Ok?"

"So if you want to find her its on you and Juice. He's back on club and garage full time so any help you need from him it's in his own time. Juice is fine with that." Roxy looked to Juice who nodded. "If and when you meet Gemma or talk to her or whatever it is you want to do, it's no where near Charming. Juice will run the location by the club." Roxy nodded again, these were fairly straight forward. "Also absolutely no club talk. No Charming talk. Full stop. We find out she knows anything about our business and I don't think I need to tell you how that plays out?"

Roxy looked around the table at Chibs, Happy, Tig, Montez, Rat, Juice, Jax, and Quinn. Would any of them ever do anything to hurt her? Or where they just being dramatic. _Obviously Juice would never, Happy could go either way, same with Jax. Who knows, it's not even worth thinking about. It's not like I'll actually say shit to her. This is if I even want to talk to her when I see her. If I even decide I want to meet face to face_.

Roxy swallowed and nodded. "That sounds fine. Thank you for doing this for me. It means a lot." She smiled softly at Jax and then Juice before turning and leaving them to it.

xxx xxx

"When can we find out if you're pregnant?" Happy was lounging on the bed while he waited for Harley to get ready to go to the party. They'd just had showers but he knew he didn't need to bother dressing just yet, Harley took for-fucking-ever to get ready.

Harley laughed softly. "A lot longer than four weeks babe. We don't even know if I'm fertile yet, haven't had a period since I got the IUD out so I have no way of telling my cycle again." Harley explained as she towelled off her hair.

Happy nodded, he didn't get weirded out by periods like most guys did, having a single mom stopped that, but he'd been glad he'd never needed to worry about it with Harley as she'd never had one since having the IUD. Which meant free reign with her body.

"So what do we do?" Now he had the idea of a baby in mind he was keen to make it happen. It had surprised Harley at first but then she remembered he had wanted this before and it had been ripped away from him so he was probably excited at the prospect of it happening again. And he wasn't getting any younger.

"Just gotta wait, killa. But I'll keep taking ovulation tests and see what happens." She threw the hair towel in the dirty laundry basket and walked over to the bed, slowly taking the towel off her body as she walked. "In the meantime there's no harm in practicing as much as possible." She winked.

Happy sat up and put his feet on the floor, sitting on the edge of the bed with her naked body right in front of him. He slowly moved his hands up her torso, brushing against her breasts as he went. Harley cupped his face in her hands and pushed forward a kiss.

Happy smiled into the kiss as she pushed him back on the bed to straddle him. _It's cute when she thinks she's in charge_. He let her grind on him and slip kisses down his jaw and neck, allowing her to grab his hands in hers and 'pin' them to the bed. After a second he decided to flip them over and pinned Harley under his own body weight, using a knee to push hers open so he could slot in the space there. He'd gathered her hands in one of his and pinned them above her head and smirked down at her.

"One of these days I'm going to cuff you to this bed and you'll fucking love it." She huffed.

"Not a chance in hell girl." He gruffed out as he nipped her neck.

"I think you'll be surprised." She half moaned as he sucked down to her chest.

Happy continued to wind her up, he never needed her to do anything to get him going, just having her writhing underneath him was enough. Sitting up slightly so he could survey her body he couldn't believe sometimes that he'd almost thrown this all away. She was fucking made for him.

As he pushed into her, hearing her gasp his name as he did, he was amazed thinking that she was willing to forgive and forget his past mistakes and start a family with him.

So instead of his usual hard and fast pace he set a slow and languid one. Allowing her to wrap her arms around his neck, he moved in unison with her body, letting the feeling of her love encompass him.

"Happy, please..." she begged as she pushed against him, wanting more.

He took her lips in a punishing kiss and started thrusting harder, smiling against her mouth when he felt her whimper and cry out for more. Finally she came while begging him not to stop and Happy couldn't help but follow a few thrusts later.

He leaned his head against her neck and revelled in the intimate moment. Slowly he pulled out and rolled off her to the side.

Harley wrapped a leg over his and began tracing his tattoos with a finger. He loved when she did that.

"I still can't believe it sometimes." She whispered softly.

"Believe what?" He squeezes her shoulder where his hand was resting.

"That after everything you're still here." She answered simply.

"Why wouldn't I be here?" He rasped.

"I dunno." She shrugged against him. "When we first got together I always thought you were going to get bored with me after a while. And I really liked you."

"You hooked me straight away."

"When?" She nudged him.

"When you first visited me in Stockton I kinda saw you in a different light. You were all pissed off about your meeting with my ma and it cracked me up. Most bitches woulda ran. You didn't."

"You liked me since then?" She asked incredulously.

"On some level. But really when Jax had me go round your house. Listening to you bitch and whine but then turn around and crack a joke with me." He smiled as he remembered those first couple of days. "That first night I figured I'd just fuck you and move on. You were all hot and sassy, and I just knew you'd be good in bed-" He was cut off when she smacked him on the stomach and he laughed. "But when I got there, I dunno, I guess you flirted your way through that."

Harley smiled and remembered it fondly. "I'm glad you waited. That night at Juice's party was awesome, wasn't it?"

"Yeah it was." He pictured her now, hands tied up against his bed head begging him to let her come.

"You think that night we'd end up here?" She looked up at him.

"Maybe not quite, but I knew that night I wanted you around some more." He answered honestly.

"Gee you're a hard man to tie down." She joked. "That next morning, when I was counselling Roxy through some of the funniest shit I'd ever heard, I joked about my pops never walking me down the aisle but then I figured if I started something with you that'd never happen anyway." She ended sadly.

Happy rolled over to his side to look at her properly. "Your pops might not be here for it but I'm taking you down that aisle Harley. I didn't think I'd ever be this lucky but I'm not fucking it up now. I'm glad we're here. I'd never pictured it at first coz I never thought I'd be capable or lucky enough. But here we are."

Harley kissed him softly. "Yes. Here we are... but we should be down the clubhouse so we should get moving." She patted his arm and moved to get up but Happy just pulled her back.

"Can't we just stay here and practice some more?" He smirked.

"Nah I wanna party." She shrugged out of his grasp. "But if you're lucky we can practice in your dorm... or the bathroom... or the garage... or round the back..." She would have continued but Happy smacked her ass and told her she'd better follow through making promises like that.

xxx xxx

Juice had wanted to throw Roxy on the bed the second they got home that afternoon but they were kept busy getting ready and sorting out Carlos for his overnight with Tara, who was over the moon.

"For someone who already has two boys I don't understand why she's so excited." Roxy laughed as they walked towards the clubhouse hand in hand.

"I think she's just making the most of being in Charming." Juice surmised. And he was right.

Tara had been so hell bent on getting out of Charming for so long. At that point she'd never seen a way past everything that was going on with the club and felt like her only option was to run. But with things finally calm, her job as a consultant being surprisingly fulfilling, her and Jax's relationship being stable, and even working shit out with Wendy she was starting to enjoy club life at face value. The family and the Love were overwhelming. Being an Aunty and a mother and a friend and even a sister was special and she started to find more meaning in her life. So when the opportunity came to have her boys' cousin stay for the night she took it. Maybe this would be the start of a new normal for them all.

Juice slung his arm around Roxy as they walked into the smoky room. The party was already well under way. They had brothers in from Rogue River, SAMTAC, and Indian Hills just because they could. Because SAMCRO was able to celebrate properly for once. It was like the old days, Juice thought.

But then it wasn't. Bobby was gone, Clay, Gemma, West, the numerous Prospects they'd lost, he'd always missed them. Brothers came and went all the time in the MC world, for many reasons, but the reasons in SAMCRO were bloody and sad. However, they had their brothers now. SAMCRO was strong with Chibs, Happy, and Quinn leading them. Jax, himself, Montez, TO, and Tig were in it for the long haul and they'd already had a look at some new Prospects and he hoped it would be a new era for SAMCRO.

"Jacks and coke for me and a vodka and coke for my wife." Juice yelled over the music to the crow eater manning the bar.

A while later Roxy was dancing with Lyla and Harley, having a great time while the guys watched on, hiking amongst themselves.

Roxy went to get some refills and bumped into Jax at the bar. She'd avoided him thus far, worried he'd be pissed with her after what happened in church this afternoon. But in her buzzed state she'd not realised he was there.

She placed her order with the crow eater and slowly turned to face her brother. She gave him a soft smile which he sheepishly returned. After a couple of moments he decided he needed to talk to her and it wouldn't happen here.

"Roof?" He asked.

Roxy agreed and told the crow eater to give the drinks to the girls and followed Jax up to the roof, giving Juice a reassuring smile as she went.

They settled themselves on the new roof and looked down at the lot below, the cheers from the crowd surrounding the ring filtered up and Roxy laughed as she heard Happy's name being called.

"Feel sorry for whoever he is up against." She joked. Why people still offered to go up against him was beyond her. Sure they were all good fighters but Happy just seemed to revel in the pain of a fight and it never deterred him. So usually he won.

"Same." Jax smiled. He offered her a smoke and they settled in next to each other as they watched the comings and goings beneath them.

"So why'd you vote yes?" Roxy knew the decision had to be unanimous and it surprised her when it went through.

"Decided to be the bigger man and not hold onto that shit. Holding grudges was my downfall. Best to turn over a new slate." He shrugged.

"It wasn't your downfall Jax. Sure it didn't help but I dunno, I think holding grudges just proves your loyalty to the people you love. Even if sometimes the grudge is misplaced."

"Think you'll ever forgive me for Juice?" Looking back on it now he hated what he had done to his sister.

"I already have." She smiled at him. "But I don't think I'll ever be able to forget Jackson. Those were the worst weeks of my life." She admitted.

Jax wrapped an arm around his sister's shoulders. "I am sorry Rox.

"I know Jax." She sighed. "But it's done now. And letting me see ma is going to help. I just... I wanna put some shit to bed. I don't know if I'll wanna see her again after but I at least want to try. I want, no I _need_ some closure. I deserve that."

"I know you do." They sat in silence for a bit more. "I'm happy for you though. You got everything you wanted now. I know it fucked up along the way but you made it."

"So did you Jax. You and Tara are solid now."

"Now I got my head out my ass." He joked.

"That does help." She laughed.

"Guess we both got our love in the end." He'd thought often about when he'd wished he had the love his sister shared with Juice. And Roxy had done the same. But it was silly. They were different people who needed different things and they had it now.

"Suppose we should get back down there." Roxy said after a moment. Jax helped her up and they shared a brief hug. "You ever gunna want to talk to ma again?"

"Probably not Rox. But who knows."

"Fair enough." She didn't blame Jax. Not really. He'd lost probably more than she had and their ma had been contributer to it all. His dad, almost his wife, and everything in between. It was too much.

Juice pulled Roxy towards him the second she entered back into the bar, pulling her against him in a kiss as he meant against the wall.

"Can we go yet?" He asked as he tangled his fingers in her hair ready for another kiss.

"You don't wanna hang with your bros some more?" She teased.

"Are you kidding me? I can see these fuckers any time. Right now I want you." He tugged on her belt loops so he could grind her against him.

Roxy smirked. "What if I wanna hang with my girls?" She teased as she brushed her fingertips over his abs.

"Well Happy took Harley over to the bathroom about ten minutes ago," he used a fingertip to pull down the silky fabric of her top so he could peer down at her lace covered breasts, "and Lyla is currently sucking face with Quinn over on the sofa, so I'll say they don't wanna hang with you."

Roxy mock pouted but giggled when he grabbed her ass. "Fine then. Take me home Juan Carlos."

Roxy clung to Juice as they wound through the streets back to their home. She'd not been able to ride bitch for so long and the ride to the clubhouse earlier in the evening had been exhilarating. But this time it felt more intimate.

She stroked his thigh with one hand as the other gripped his tshirt above his belt. With Roxy pressed up against him he felt indestructible, her breasts pushing against his back, her thighs gripping him tightly, her hand stroking his leg, it took all his willpower to get them home and not pull up at the side of the road.

As he pulled into their garage he relaxed instantly. As soon as Roxy dismounted and put her helmet on the seat Juice spring to life. He chucked his helmet to the bench as he stalked towards her.

Roxy smirked as he pushed his body up against hers, feeling the doorframe to the house dig into her back. "Want something?"

"Want everything." He murmured as he pushed his lips against hers. He claimed her lips with a passion she had missed, his hands travelling everywhere on her body, as if he couldn't remember the feel of her beneath him.

Soon he was grinding against her and Roxy couldn't help but moan as he nipped down her neck to her shoulder, a hand firmly palming her breast.

"Bedroom." She panted when he started to push her top up.

Juice growled and pulled back, making short work of unlocking the door he pushed her through. "Naked on the bed." He said as she walked down the hall while he locked up and checked the house.

He wasn't disappointed when he entered their room, the soft light from their ensuite illuminating her naked form on their bed.

"Fuck. Did I tell you how beautiful you look?" He said as he slipped out of his kutte, jeans, and boots.

"Only about a thousand times tonight... so keep going." She said softly.

Juice strolled over to the bed, naked, not shy in the slightest about his physique. Roxy marvelled his form and he did hers, despite her slight self consciousness.

"Well you are fucking beautiful." He crawled up to her, kissing her legs softly, "these legs, this ass, this stomach, this chest, this neck," he peppered kisses as he moved, sucking softly now and then. "Fucking all of it."

Roxy could feel him, hard and heavy, against her and squirmed underneath him as she tried to touch him. She'd never wanted him more, it had been so long and she missed being properly intimate with him.

But she didn't want to rush this. Kissing him as they explored each other's bodies properly, without the fear of hurting each other, she was enjoying reacquainting herself with him.

When Juice slid a hand down her stomach, so his fingers could circle her clit she decided she couldn't take it anymore.

"Please Juan..." she rolled her hips against his hand and Juice bit down on her neck.

He didn't need her to beg, he wanted this too. Badly. He missed her so fucking much. He knew sex wasn't everything and Roxy had chastised him enough over the years for using it as a substitute for emotional love, but he needed it to feel close to her. It's just how he operated. Sure she'd helped him move past it a bit but these last couple months had been hard. So he pulled his body over hers and readied himself.

Looking down into her eyes he checked one last time. "You sure, baby?"

Roxy bit her lip and nodded, gasping when he slowly slid into her, shivering at the feeling of being connected with him once again.

Roxy clutched his shoulders and gripped his hips with her thighs as he picked up a slow pace. Juice finally felt like everything clicked in place again. After all the worry of everything that happened since Carlos' birth he was finally with her again.

"I love you so fucking much." He mumbled against her skin as he kissed everywhere in reach.

Roxy was too busy relishing his touch to really focus on what he was saying but she moaned his name in response.

Every kiss, every touch, every thrust was setting her on fire and she couldn't focus. Sex with Juice was always amazing, but the relief of this after so much time was almost too intense.

As he picked up the pace her cries became more frequent and eventually she tipped over the edge crying for him to keep going. Juice loved watching her come undone beneath him and when she'd relaxed enough he caught her lips in a rough kiss.

"God yes! Juan you feel so good!" She bit his shoulder and encouraged him as his thrusts started becoming choppy, signalling his impending release. "I love you baby, come on!" She squeezed him and moaned out as he shuddered against her as he came.

Slowly they calmed down and Juice flopped back on the bed, Roxy rolling into his outstretched arm she curled against him. She watched his chest rise and fall with his breathing, his hard pecs, his abs, right down to the v cut above his crotch she couldn't believe he was hers. Gorgeous, goofy, sexy, and funny in one package.

After a while he looked down at her, following her gaze down his body and smirked.

"That was intense, huh?" He mumbled into the quiet room.

"Just a bit. Guess it's what we needed."

"Definitely." He stroked her arm and thought about their future, just listening to her breathing softly. "What else did the doc say today?"

He'd avoided the topic earlier on, not wanting to put a downer on the party if it was bad news but he couldn't take waiting any longer.

"Well, she said things have healed nicely despite everything. So it's the same chances as before. I managed to have Carlos so she's optimistic. Pregnancy will still be difficult though and I probably will never be able to carry a baby to full term so that's risky for me and the baby. If the baby is born too pre term it can have a lot of health implications. We were lucky with Carlos." She could feel him tense beneath her. "But that's something to consider for the future. For now I'm so happy with our life babe, it's full and happy, I'm happy. I hope you are too?" She worried now at how he would take this latest news and hoped it wouldn't put a dampener on their reunion.

Juice squeezed her and she snapped her eyes back up to his. "How could you think I wouldn't be happy? Roxy you've given me everything I always wished for. I have everything right here and it's all because of you and I'd never be unhappy with that. So please don't doubt it for a fucking second."

Roxy pushed herself up and kissed him thoroughly. "I just worry sometimes. I want to give you everything, I want you to be happy Juan. You deserve it. And I hate that it took so long for you to find it. Sometimes I wish we'd crossed paths in New York..."

"Hey, it happened the way it was supposed to happen. If you'd met me in New York you'd have hated me." He laughed.

"Oh I'd never have been able to hate you." She moved so she could straddle him. "You're too cute to hate." She smiled down at him as she slid her hands up his body.

"You've tried a couple of times." He joked.

"With good reason." She narrowed her eyes at him and patted his chest. "But it could never stick. You're just too handsome."

"Is that all?" He let his eyes roam her body that was so clearly on display to him.

"That and the dicks pretty good." She wiggles her ass against him.

"Pretty good?" He thrust against her. "More like the best you've ever had." He said cockily.

"Someone's a little cocky." She grinned.

"Who said anything about little?" He threw back to their first time and watched as her eyes lit up in recognition. "Pretty sure you've begged me before. _Oh Juan Carlos, you're the best I've ever had_." He mimicked her voice.

"I don't fucking sound like that." She swatted his arm. "And I'm also pretty sure I've never said that either."

"What? I'm not the best?" He frowned.

"Of course you are. But your ego doesn't need feeding. It's already huge."

He rolled her over and pinned her against the bed. "That's more like it. I'll show you huge." He grinned when Roxy squealed as he started attacking her with kisses...

xxx xxx

Tara had dropped Carlos off after Roxy and Juice finished breakfast, and a round in the shower. She had smirked when she saw the marks decorating Roxy's chest and made a comment about a good night.

Roxy was glad of the night off so her and Juice could properly reconnect, but now she was happy to sit and cuddle with her baby. She snuggled up with him on the sofa while some morning kids tv played in the background and watched him squirm and smile at her while she cooed. His little brown eyes lit up every time she smiled at him or ran her fingers through his tufts of black hair.

Juice had just finished making a bottle and wandered over to the lounge room. He meant against the archway and watched as Roxy sung along to the nursery rhyme from the cartoon and tickled Carlos, hearing the little coos of contentment from the sofa.

Everything in his life had led to this moment. Every terrible mistake and misdirection had led him here and it was the best place he could imagine. He'd been through some dark times, times he'd never seen a way out of, and this kind of love had been unimaginable to him. Now he had it he could never imagine feeling it's loss. This was the piece he'd always been missing, the feeling of completion and never ending love and faith from someone else.

Roxy looked up and caught his eyes. Smiling, she motioned for him to bring the bottle over.

Juice plopped gently onto the sofa next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. He passed her the bottle and watched as she fed their son, stroking her shoulder softly.

She looked up to his eyes and smiled again. "I love you."

Juice broke out into his megawatt grin and dropped a kiss on her forehead. "I love you too baby. Thank you."

"For what?"

"Everything." He smiled and settled back against the sofa. _Everything was perfect. This was it. He'd finally made it._

xxx xxx

 **A/N: and that's it! I actually can't believe it!!! Thank you so much to everyone for their support. I never thought it would go this far. Almost a year later and it's come full circle. I've made some great pen pals writing this and am so happy everyone has loved my writing. It started off as a way to pass the time while I was on bed rest towards the end of my pregnancy. I'd started re-watching SOA, having only gotten to season 4 back when it was first out, and as soon as I saw where it was going I delved into fanfiction to save the day! I read loads while I was sick in bed and fell in love. So here we are!**

 **If you're just finishing now please leave me a review. I don't see myself leaving any time soon so I'd love to hear what you think. And follow or favourite as I'm not marking this as complete yet. There will be little one shots coming instead of an epilogue. Little bits to add to the story from their futures so keep checking.**

 **Also I've just posted the first chapter of my new Happy/OC story. It's called _In My Dreams_ , thanks to AngR for getting me in the Happy team haha. **

**Also mega shout out to AngR and also Eowyn who have helped so much with the story and keeping me focused along the way. You've been amazing! Eowyn has some great stories so check em out too!**

 **I think that's all... long ramble but here we are. Hope you enjoyed and hope to see you on my new fic too!**

 **Much love!**


End file.
